Once again, you're a moron. You can't press charges against someone for guessing the password to your fucking Slashdot account. It was even less "criminal" than what Randal himself did, because Randal obtained the passwd file anf ran crack against it, instead of merely guessing an obvious password, like Shoeboy did.
You've been here for long enough, orkysoft, why are you still posting this newbie crap?
You moron... I love how Slashdotters are all into "information wants to be free" until one of their own is the butt of the joke. His password was "slashdot", for God's sake, and I think he deserved it. It's like when Clinton was in that ICQ chatroom, got disconnected, and someone else logged in with his handle... it was amusing and not "cracking" by any definition.
Furthermore, the "forged" (it wasn't forgery, dumbass) posts were more entertaining than anythng Randal himself has ever written. And the Heidi Wall pics will provide masturbation fuel for the next week or so. I say, bravo, Fake Randal! And FOAD, orkysoft!
I was referring to Jeff Bates, AKA Hemos, you nimrod. And while I'm not gay,
<Seinfeld>
Not that there's anything wrong with that! </Seinfeld>
you'd probably have a hard time (heh heh) believing it after reading some of my Interesting and Insightful posts from years past, such as "The Linux Buttsex HOWTO" and "How Hemos Got His Groove Back".
Yes, I know that Hemos is married. In fact, I put up this site when it was first announced:
Of course Intel runs Sun... incidentally, so does Microsoft. Comparing Intel x86 shite to Sun's stuff is really laughable... it's like comparing a Matchbox car to a new BMW; one is a toy, one is a high-performance machine. In order to obtain CPU power approaching the level of a Sun E6000, you would have to cluster so many x86 boxes that the systems would be all but unusable, thanks to the x86 low-bandwidth architecture and decades-old memory technology. (And, of course, the intercommunications latency.) Don't get me wrong, I own two x86 boxes, and they're just fine for playing games and reading Slashdot. But when you want to get work done, you use SPARC, PA/RISC, and PPC machines from Sun, HP, and IBM. Intel knows this... let's try another wacky anaology... picture a factory that makes toy guns. Now, do you think the security guard at that factory has a toy gun? Of course not -- because even if you manufacture toys, you don't trust your business to them.
PS - No, I do not work for Sun. But if someone from Sun is reading this, be aware that I will gladly evangelize your overpriced hardware in exchange for RAM.
I've been boycotting Intel, because their chips suck and AMD kicks their dirty nasty little white ass. However, in light of this incident, I'm willing to give Intel another chance.
I find it highly amusing that as a "convicted felon", Randy is now more employable than when he was a "Perl hacker".
While you may see this as a "serious blow", Randall, it is nothing compared to the serious blows that you'll give in prison to stay alive for the first week. Perhaps you should start excercising your sweet virgin asshole now, so that it's nice and loose by the time that your new roommate Bubba gets "randy" (ha! ha!) for it.
Your New Life in Prison (Image Gallery) These images, "hand selected" by my gay friend Jeff, help to convey the world of prison love as you will first experience it.
Phase One: Welcome to Prison We know you think Heidi Wall is hot, but a strapping gay fireman (convicted arsonist, how ironic!) will put out that fire!
Phase Two: Finding a Boyfriend You may find yourself thrust upon your new lover at first. This is normal.
Phase Five: In Prison, Everybody's Gay! You'll eventually realize that you were gay all along, and be accepted as one of the team.
Phase Six: Mastery While it's unlikely that you'll ever be parolled, if you are, you'll likely discover that Heidi doesn't look so good anymore. Buck up and move down the road to San Francisco.
If you're still not looking forward to your new life as a bitch, here is a quaint story about one man's struggle to avoid prison rape. If you haven't yet blown all of the Camel Book royalties on crack cocaine, you may be able to pull a similar stunt.
Australian citizens have much worse things to worry about. For instance, the roving bands of unwashed wild dogs which rove the countryside, attacking tourists.
I'll never get why so many of you think Java is slow. Yes, it's windowing code sucks. But I don't use it for making GUIs. I use it for creating so-called "enterprise" software systems, where its unbeatable database connectivity, portability, purely OO design, excellent threading model, and short development times make up for any loss of speed.
Yes, it uses interpreted bytecode, and is therefore slower than native machine code. But to be honest, on the kind of hardware that most of my clients use, you'll never get close to hitting the machine's limitations. I'm currently implementing an online exchange system on a cluster of RS/6000 M80s, for God's sake.
Most of you have obtained your "knowledge" of Java from watching an applet crash your browser. Big fucking surprise -- applets are the weakest part of the language, and Netscape sucks fucking goat balls. Everyone on this site has used at least one Microsoft product, so I try to forgive the senseless MS-bashing, but I guarantee that less than 1% of you Java-bashers have hacked any Java, and only 1% of that 1% got farther than "Hello, world!" before screaming, "Ew, it's so different than PERL! Back to scripting languages for my dumb ass!"
People like that are such fucking hypocrites. They think they're UNIX people, but resist Java in the same way that the ASM nuts laughed at UNIX. "You can't write an OS in C, it'll be too slow!" The joke was on them, and it'll be on you too.
True, some languages are fads, but Java has proven years ago that it's here to stay. Working enterprise application developers -- even those using NT -- know this. Why are UNIX people so resistant? Java brings the power of COM and DCOM to UNIX, who wouldn't want that? (Yeah, CORBA does the same thing, and Java has CORBA support in case it ever catches on outside of Borland.:-) Personally, I happen to like the fact that I could, if necessary, port all of my software on my current project from UNIX to NT in a few hours:
Install WebLogic on NT.
cvs checkout exchange-code
Start server
And there will also come a time, not today, not tomorrow, but soon, when Java's GUI limitations will fall behind. Anyone who has used JBuilder 4 (yeah, I still use EMACS, but it was installed on my new box so I tried it out. Not too shabby!) or TogetherJ (very cool UML design tool, and much less expensive than Rose) knows what I'm talking about.
My guesses are that red/blue/yellow are easier to pronounce (these are young'ins after all) and that parents wouldn't stand for it. "Your teacher told you WHOT?" It makes the older generation look dumb.
Print some garbage into a temp file to fake disk activity ("the computer's thinking! this must be good!") after you sleep(). Also, I'd call exit() instead of returning, but you're the author...
The frightening thing is that those tips are real... hell, I first saw them six months ago. I'm not sure why posting them on the front page counts as an April Fool's joke, maybe Jamie thinks ESR is having some April 1-Fun, but that's not the case.
I beg of you, do not read ESR's Sex Tips. I was plauged for months afterward with dreams (nightmares, if anything) of ESR... (shocking!)... with no clothes... (scary!)... doing sexual things! (Now I'm scarred for life!)
It's worse than goatse.cx, I swear. the tips themselves are fine, but the thought of ESR and -- *shudder*
Not entirely unbiased. The entire story is flamebait; notice that Slashdot only ever posts "news" relating to Microsoft's problems. Jamie didn't post this thinking, "Gee, this will be helpful to all those readers using IE." He was probably thinking, "Gee, this is yet another excuse to bash Microsoft." I'll admit that his tone was remarkably cool, but this is Slashdot... I won't believe that Slashdot can post a neutral Microsoft story until they ditch the Gates/Borg icon.
I find it amusing that the worst purveyer of unprompted MS-bashing, Malda, is also the only editor who regularly admits to using Windows. (Unless I just missed Loki's ports of The Sims and Diablo II.)
Yet, they keep cranking out new writes of the same old horse with new bugs every couple of years to make $$$$$$$$$$$..
Windows has existed in its present forms for about five years. UNIX has been around for 25-30. BSD for 20. GNU for 15. Linux for 10.
Their operating systems boast a superior UI, an extensive object-oriented architecture complete with distributed RMI, and run on a greater variety of hardware than any other system, including GNU/Linux.
NT has only taken market share from UNIX. (Which, as most of you are too ignorant to know, was a Big Bad Corporate OS in the 80s. Just like IBM was evil in the 80s. How things change... a few open-source UNIX-ripoffs later, and UNIX is considered "grassroots" by many people here, just like IBM is now seen in a similar light for their "heartfelt" support of Linux.)
They've also completely taken over the desktop market. Of course the roots of this monopoly are 20 years old, but they've only had a truly desirable product for about five.
I like NT. I wouldn't let it in my server room, but it makes a damn good workstation OS. I like its interface best of all I've tried. It has excellent hardware and application support. In addition to being a great development environment, it plays games and DVDs. And my UNIX boxes are never farther away than a telnet session.
MSFT has perhaps produced a greater volume of useful code in five years than anyone else ever has, and NT is still four times younger than UNIX. So I'm willing to forgive some bugs.
Crikey! Yar, I'm from Australia, and we've got all sorts of problems here down under, mate! I mean, sure we don't 'ave no DSL, but it's also bloody diff'cult to find a toothbrush or a bar of that thar smelly-soap! Then, just when ye think it carn't get no bloody worse, a bleedin' dingo eats your baby! Those bloody wankers!
It all seems worthwhile, though, on National Poo-eating Day.
Better to use an operating system that has not had a remote hole in three years: OpenBSD.
No one finds holes in OpenBSD because it has a total of five users, including Theo and Theo's mom. Holes in Windows and Red Hat are found most often because the former is the most-used OS and the latter is GNU/Linux for newbies. Theo can afford to be smug. If OpenBSD had 1% of users that GNU/Linux does, its reputation would be considerably less pristine.
(That is, if you can tolerate it's slow-ass filesystem implementation.)
...and the lack of SMP. Sure, it runs on six or seven architectures (courtesy of NetBSD), but lack of SMP is the reason I won't run OpenBSD anywhere. (For instance, OpenBSD supports SPARC, but I haven't even personally seen a Sun box with less than eight CPUs in years.) This is the first reason OpenBSD has no future in business.
The second reason is the complete lack of commercial software. (Even FreeBSD does better in this area!) GNU/Linux may have more reported bugs, but it also runs fucking Oracle 8i. (And, yes, anyone who suggests that I replace my Oracle installations with MySQL gets beaten with the clue stick.)
OpenBSD only has a future as a firewall for the 386 in the corner, and frankly, most admins with a clue would rather run GNU/Linux on that firewall because encrypted swap doesn't mean shit if the machine is just looking at packets all day.
Not to mention the fact that the future of the product rests in the hands of a single Canadian cryto-nut with a well-deserved reputation as a whiny, bitchy, moody control freak. The project has other developers but it is no secret that Theo 0wns OpenBSD. Before you mod this as flamebait, think: maybe there's a reason why everyone who has heard of DeRaadt has heard of DeRaadt's emotional instability. Even if OpenBSD ran Oracle on my company's SMP RS/6000s, I'd be hesitant to use it because of this sticking point.
After a week lacking internet access, the company I work for could possibly cease to exist. Our clients, without the service we provide, would also face the danger of catostrophic damages. Companies, no matter what you think, are made of people, and people rely on their employment to provide food, money, and shelter. To answer your question, the person getting hurt is you, when my newly unemployed coworkers kill you for your shiny gold watch.
I'm posting this from IE 5.5 on NT5 and ØÄȦ®$ûüè h4w h4w! I 0wn 4ll j00r b0X0rz!! ØÄȦ®$ûüève experienced absolutely no problems. Furthermore,ØÄȦ®$ûüè w0w d00d 1 4m 50 3l337 ØÄȦ®$ûüèsecurity issues on the web today. What about Netscape 6? For instance, NetØÄȦ®$ûüè m$ c4n suX0rz my c0ckz!!! llolololol ØÄȦ®$ûüèPerhaps Slashdot is blowing this out of proportion.
Slashdot Mirror
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You've been here for long enough, orkysoft, why are you still posting this newbie crap?
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Furthermore, the "forged" (it wasn't forgery, dumbass) posts were more entertaining than anythng Randal himself has ever written. And the Heidi Wall pics will provide masturbation fuel for the next week or so. I say, bravo, Fake Randal! And FOAD, orkysoft!
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Yes, I know that Hemos is married. In fact, I put up this site when it was first announced:
Enjoy!--
PS - No, I do not work for Sun. But if someone from Sun is reading this, be aware that I will gladly evangelize your overpriced hardware in exchange for RAM.
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I find it highly amusing that as a "convicted felon", Randy is now more employable than when he was a "Perl hacker".
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[Suggested moderation: +1, Interesting. +1, Insightful.]
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(What? Those are the citizens?)
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Yes, it uses interpreted bytecode, and is therefore slower than native machine code. But to be honest, on the kind of hardware that most of my clients use, you'll never get close to hitting the machine's limitations. I'm currently implementing an online exchange system on a cluster of RS/6000 M80s, for God's sake.
Most of you have obtained your "knowledge" of Java from watching an applet crash your browser. Big fucking surprise -- applets are the weakest part of the language, and Netscape sucks fucking goat balls. Everyone on this site has used at least one Microsoft product, so I try to forgive the senseless MS-bashing, but I guarantee that less than 1% of you Java-bashers have hacked any Java, and only 1% of that 1% got farther than "Hello, world!" before screaming, "Ew, it's so different than PERL! Back to scripting languages for my dumb ass!"
People like that are such fucking hypocrites. They think they're UNIX people, but resist Java in the same way that the ASM nuts laughed at UNIX. "You can't write an OS in C, it'll be too slow!" The joke was on them, and it'll be on you too.
True, some languages are fads, but Java has proven years ago that it's here to stay. Working enterprise application developers -- even those using NT -- know this. Why are UNIX people so resistant? Java brings the power of COM and DCOM to UNIX, who wouldn't want that? (Yeah, CORBA does the same thing, and Java has CORBA support in case it ever catches on outside of Borland. :-) Personally, I happen to like the fact that I could, if necessary, port all of my software on my current project from UNIX to NT in a few hours:
And there will also come a time, not today, not tomorrow, but soon, when Java's GUI limitations will fall behind. Anyone who has used JBuilder 4 (yeah, I still use EMACS, but it was installed on my new box so I tried it out. Not too shabby!) or TogetherJ (very cool UML design tool, and much less expensive than Rose) knows what I'm talking about.
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I beg of you, do not read ESR's Sex Tips. I was plauged for months afterward with dreams (nightmares, if anything) of ESR... (shocking!)... with no clothes... (scary!)... doing sexual things! (Now I'm scarred for life!)
It's worse than goatse.cx, I swear. the tips themselves are fine, but the thought of ESR and -- *shudder*
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I find it amusing that the worst purveyer of unprompted MS-bashing, Malda, is also the only editor who regularly admits to using Windows. (Unless I just missed Loki's ports of The Sims and Diablo II.)
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Their operating systems boast a superior UI, an extensive object-oriented architecture complete with distributed RMI, and run on a greater variety of hardware than any other system, including GNU/Linux.
NT has only taken market share from UNIX. (Which, as most of you are too ignorant to know, was a Big Bad Corporate OS in the 80s. Just like IBM was evil in the 80s. How things change... a few open-source UNIX-ripoffs later, and UNIX is considered "grassroots" by many people here, just like IBM is now seen in a similar light for their "heartfelt" support of Linux.)
They've also completely taken over the desktop market. Of course the roots of this monopoly are 20 years old, but they've only had a truly desirable product for about five.
I like NT. I wouldn't let it in my server room, but it makes a damn good workstation OS. I like its interface best of all I've tried. It has excellent hardware and application support. In addition to being a great development environment, it plays games and DVDs. And my UNIX boxes are never farther away than a telnet session.
MSFT has perhaps produced a greater volume of useful code in five years than anyone else ever has, and NT is still four times younger than UNIX. So I'm willing to forgive some bugs.
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It all seems worthwhile, though, on National Poo-eating Day.
Crikey!
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The second reason is the complete lack of commercial software. (Even FreeBSD does better in this area!) GNU/Linux may have more reported bugs, but it also runs fucking Oracle 8i. (And, yes, anyone who suggests that I replace my Oracle installations with MySQL gets beaten with the clue stick.)
OpenBSD only has a future as a firewall for the 386 in the corner, and frankly, most admins with a clue would rather run GNU/Linux on that firewall because encrypted swap doesn't mean shit if the machine is just looking at packets all day.
Not to mention the fact that the future of the product rests in the hands of a single Canadian cryto-nut with a well-deserved reputation as a whiny, bitchy, moody control freak. The project has other developers but it is no secret that Theo 0wns OpenBSD. Before you mod this as flamebait, think: maybe there's a reason why everyone who has heard of DeRaadt has heard of DeRaadt's emotional instability. Even if OpenBSD ran Oracle on my company's SMP RS/6000s, I'd be hesitant to use it because of this sticking point.
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