I'm speaking of the one we dealt with on this matter. Some feckwit hit the Big Red Button in the data centre by mistake, taking our servers out, sodomising our Oracle databases and giving us a few days' downtime. We considered the UPS of our own approach and were told "NO" in no uncertain terms for fire risk reasons. We then installed a complete spare set of kit for failover in another data centre down the road. Same hosting company, unfortunately. They were idiots. I forget their name, but I'll remember it and shout "HELL NO" if I ever hear it again.
Many data centres expressly forbid UPSes or batteries bigger than a CMOS battery in installed systems - because when the fire department hits the Big Red Button, the power is meant to go OFF. IMMEDIATELY.
So while this is a nice idea, applying it outside Google may produce interesting negotiation problems...
SKID ROW, Redmond, Friday - Microsoft Corporation is headed for swingeing layoffs in mid-January after the failure of its stock buyback program, and has called for a government bailout in the face of the credit crunch.
"Vastly popular operating systems like Vista just aren't selling," said marketing marketer emeritus Bill Gates, "and it's all because people aren't confident to spend their money. In fact, they didn't start buying it in 2007 because they were expecting this even then. A subsidy to buy good, honest American computer operating systems is essential to the health of the economy, or my part of it."
Should the Big One of American virtual office supplies fail, economists predict that it could free up millions of dollars in business spending and provide a devastating boost to an economy reeling from the impact of the credit crunch.
Hiring in most Microsoft divisions has frozen in the last six months and 30GB Zunes are already on suicide watch. "The workload's impossible to keep up with," said blog technical evangelist Gary M. Stewart. "I've even been answering Slashdot comments on Boycott Novell or Groklaw. It's impossible to keep track of! Anyway, you're just another Twitter sockpuppet. Or Mini-Microsoft. Admit it."
Additional bailouts have been hooked on the bill as riders for HD-DVD, eight-track cartridges, 78rpm gramophones and Babbage analytical engine gear manufacturers.
Senators have stated they will only bail the company out with a change in top management. "What the shit," said Linus Torvalds as his draft notice arrived.
"The robot companion for your child, designed to say "I LOVE YOU" while the child hits it repeatedly," is a real product. My daughter (then 7 months old) got one for Christmas 2007. It says "I LOVE YOU" when the child hits it. Aieee!
After a minor shipping delay, flying cars have arrived for all. As of today, all major cities also feature moving pavements and weather control and commuter flights to the Moon will be commencing tomorrow.
Earth President Barack Obama welcomed the representatives of the Galactic Brotherhood to Washington, assuring them that the many wars on Earth were now to be conducted entirely by robots, though the robots would be carefully monitored and pulled out of battle and granted citizenship the moment they achieved sentience. He also offered the galactics free access to Google, with only the requirement for tasteful contextually-attuned text advertising to be imprinted on their DNA.
The reactionary forces of the twentieth-century United States finally conceded defeat and shut down the Five-Year Plan Tractor Plants of Detroit, where ridiculous oversized transport was bashed together by semi-literate peasants between fifths of vodka from the nerve gas factory next door, and the Five-Year Plan Software Plants of Redmond, where ridiculous oversized operating systems were bashed together by semi-numerate fresh graduates between fifths of Red Bull. The record and movie company back catalogues have been placed into the public domain for the preservation of human culture and the comic-book capitalists of Wall Street have been sent to calming, soothing, humanistic re-education facilities. "We'll teach them to love again," said Mr Obama.
Robot housecleaners are now universally available at quite reasonable prices. The robot companion for your child, designed to say "I LOVE YOU" while the child hits it repeatedly, was an early release for Christmas 2007. The new model features the voice of Justin Fletcher from CBeebies and is designed for parents to hit repeatedly.
Future innovations for the century include the rise of the Great Old Ones from their eternal sleep to take back the Earth and consume the souls of all humanity, first driving them slowly insane. The citizenry is being prepared for this eventuality using repeated broadcasts of In The Night Garden.
"The newspapers put their content up on the web for free and then Google, the freeloading bastards, tell people where to find it! Clearly, this must stop. You'd think the Internet wasn't invented to give newspapers and record companies free money!
"We told them to pay up or stop using our stuff, and they said OK, they'd stop using our stuff! We need the Government to bring back balance, 'balance' defined as being able to make them give us money because we want it."
The newspaper group argues that traffic generated by search engines doesn't compensate for the cost involved in producing content. "Ad revenue has collapsed, so search engine traffic doesn't bring in enough views to pay for it. Our inability to sell ads is clearly Google's problem."
The Guardian suggest the exploration of new models that "require fair acknowledgement of the value that our content creates, both on our own site through advertising and 'at the edges' in the world of search and aggregation. Also, they should give us money just because we want it. And the music industry too. How about a bailout? Go on, gi's it."
The newspapers put their content up on the web for free and then Google, the freeloading bastards, tell people where to find it! Clearly, this must stop.
The furore started when the PRS demanded that YouTube pay them more money or remove their members' videos, and YouTube removed their members' videos. "It is clear they are too powerful," said Feargal Sharkey, whose bank account died before he got old, "because they were actually able to just tell us to bog off. I am sick and tired of bogus outsiders who spout unworkable utopian visions. Instead, they should give us money because we want it. Just like the record companies used to... er, hold on, I'll start again."
"Our main focus is on compensating the artist," said Howie Singer from Warner Music. "In theory, I mean, not out of our own pockets or anything. It's amazing what you can make recoupable. As such, it's vital that Google and the ISPs give the artists all the money that can be dragged out of them, plus a perfectly reasonable 87% for us. The six, er, five, er, four majors actually having to write a cheque would be an unsustainable imposition."
The PRS noted its work on increasing the total revenue pool for songwriters by demanding stables pay to play music to horses, people in cars pay if they wind down their windows with the stereo on, and people singing in the shower pay if anyone else in the house could theoretically hear them. They will also be removing 6.75% of buskers' earnings from their guitar cases and 6.75% of children's lunch money in case they sing songs on the way to school, which the busker or child can then apply to get back minus a reasonable handling fee.
Nope! fish:// caches. It does fetch the directory every now and then, though hitting F5 will do it explicitly.
You can of course test this - if you have it installed, you can run Konqueror from inside GNOME perfectly well. Looks weird but the functionality is there.
I've been messing with it in a VirtualBox, and it does appear to be rather better than Vista. Slow to boot in 512MB, but responsive and very usable.
I am told it works surprisingly well on current netbooks if they have at least 1 gig of memory. Uses a bit much power, hopefully they can work on that one.
I'm no fan of Microsoft, but they've done not too badly here.
I look forward to Microsoft's vision of the Digital Home. Imagine your television, your refrigerator, your gas boiler, all running Windows Vista^W7. What could possibly go wrong?
After bricking unlocked iPhones, kicking applications off the iPhone store that might even slightly compete with iTunes in the far future, filing a wave of patents on basic well-known computer science and openly sodomising iPhone developers in the city square of Palo Alto, Apple Inc. today filed a Form 8-K with the Securities and Exchange Commission declaring that it was openly adopting Evil(tm) as a corporate policy.
"Fuck it," said Steve Jobs to an audience of soul-mortgaged thralls, "we're evil. But our stuff is sooo good. You'll keep taking our abuse. You love it, you worm. Because our stuff is great. It's shiny and it's pretty and it's cool and it works. It's not like you'll go back to a Windows Mobile phone. Ha! Ha!"
Steve Ballmer of Microsoft was incensed at the news. "Our evil is better than anyone's evil! No-one sweats the details of evil like Microsoft! Where's your antitrust trial, you polo-necked bozo? We've worked hard on our evil! Our Zune's as evil as an iPod any day! I won't let my kids use a lesser evil! We're going to do an ad about that! I'll be in it! With Jerry Seinfeld! Beat that! Asshole."
"Of course, we're still not evil," said Sergey Brin of Google. "You can trust us on this. Every bit of data about you, your life and the house you live in is strictly a secret between you and our marketing department. But, hypothetically, if we were evil, it's not like you're going to use Windows Live Search. Ha! Ha! I'm sorry, that's my 'spreading good cheer' laugh. Really."
Students will also be required to familiarise themselves with podcasts, the iTunes store, the Pirate Bay, b3ta and 4chan. They will gain fluency in handwriting and keyboard skills and learn how two use a spell chequer proper Lee. Literature classes will involve young adult novels written entirely in txt spk.
Earlier versions of the proposal suggested students learn about AltaVista, GeoCities and the dangers of internet paedophiles on Usenet.
Pupils will no longer have to study the Victorian period or the Second World War. But ministers said British history would always be a core part of education. "The history books will undergo proper Party review, of course," said Schools Minister Jim Knight. "The life of Jade Goody is far more relevant to modern culture than patriarchal oppression from dead white males like Churchill or Cromwell."
The move has met some opposition. "How will kids understand Hitler jokes?" said Mary Bousted of the Association of Teachers and Lecturers, "or how Hitler instantly makes any joke funnier? Will anyone watch the UK Hitler Channel again?"
Wikipedia welcomed the move, looking forward to more twenty thousand word articles on minor characters in Charlie & Lola. "Our coverage of Sizzles the dog will be enhanced immeasurably," said administrator WikiFiddler451. "Of course, my article on Lotte's fur coat just reached 'featured' status."
"RT@neilhimself Bally dashed curriculum bally dashed hors de combat. Tish, fie and pish. Maybe they're finally getting their arse in gear xxx," noted Stephen Fry.
Artificial intelligence came a step closer this weekend when a computer came within five percent of passing the Turing Test, which the computer passes if people cannot tell between the computer and a human.
The winning conversation was with competitor LOLBOT:
"Good morning."
"STFU N00B"
"Er, what?"
"U R SO GAY LOLOLOLOL"
"Do you talk like this to everyone?"
"NO U"
"Sod this, I'm off for a pint."
"IT'S OVER 9000!!" ...
"Fag."
The human tester said he couldn't believe a computer could be so mind-numbingly stupid.
LOLBOT has since been released into the wild to post random abuse, hentai manga and titty shots to 4chan, after having been banned from YouTube for commenting in a perspicacious and on-topic manner.
LOLBOT was also preemptively banned from editing Wikipedia. "We don't consider this sort of thing a suitable use of the encyclopedia," sniffed administrator WikiFiddler451, who said it had nothing to do with his having been one of the human test subjects picked as a computer.
"This is a marvellous achievement, and shows great progress toward goals I've worked for all my life," said Professor Kevin Warwick of the University of Reading, confirming his status as a system failing the Turing test.
Slashdot Mirror
And anyone who doesn't think Solaris's competition is Linux doesn't know enough about the area to comment.
Spoilsports ;-p
Yes, because lithium batteries certainly don't go up in a really spectacular manner or anything ...
I'm speaking of the one we dealt with on this matter. Some feckwit hit the Big Red Button in the data centre by mistake, taking our servers out, sodomising our Oracle databases and giving us a few days' downtime. We considered the UPS of our own approach and were told "NO" in no uncertain terms for fire risk reasons. We then installed a complete spare set of kit for failover in another data centre down the road. Same hosting company, unfortunately. They were idiots. I forget their name, but I'll remember it and shout "HELL NO" if I ever hear it again.
Many data centres expressly forbid UPSes or batteries bigger than a CMOS battery in installed systems - because when the fire department hits the Big Red Button, the power is meant to go OFF. IMMEDIATELY.
So while this is a nice idea, applying it outside Google may produce interesting negotiation problems ...
I did this one in January! Microsoft calls for government bailout.
SKID ROW, Redmond, Friday - Microsoft Corporation is headed for swingeing layoffs in mid-January after the failure of its stock buyback program, and has called for a government bailout in the face of the credit crunch.
"Vastly popular operating systems like Vista just aren't selling," said marketing marketer emeritus Bill Gates, "and it's all because people aren't confident to spend their money. In fact, they didn't start buying it in 2007 because they were expecting this even then. A subsidy to buy good, honest American computer operating systems is essential to the health of the economy, or my part of it."
Should the Big One of American virtual office supplies fail, economists predict that it could free up millions of dollars in business spending and provide a devastating boost to an economy reeling from the impact of the credit crunch.
Hiring in most Microsoft divisions has frozen in the last six months and 30GB Zunes are already on suicide watch. "The workload's impossible to keep up with," said blog technical evangelist Gary M. Stewart. "I've even been answering Slashdot comments on Boycott Novell or Groklaw. It's impossible to keep track of! Anyway, you're just another Twitter sockpuppet. Or Mini-Microsoft. Admit it."
Additional bailouts have been hooked on the bill as riders for HD-DVD, eight-track cartridges, 78rpm gramophones and Babbage analytical engine gear manufacturers.
Senators have stated they will only bail the company out with a change in top management. "What the shit," said Linus Torvalds as his draft notice arrived.
"The robot companion for your child, designed to say "I LOVE YOU" while the child hits it repeatedly," is a real product. My daughter (then 7 months old) got one for Christmas 2007. It says "I LOVE YOU" when the child hits it. Aieee!
After a minor shipping delay, flying cars have arrived for all. As of today, all major cities also feature moving pavements and weather control and commuter flights to the Moon will be commencing tomorrow.
Earth President Barack Obama welcomed the representatives of the Galactic Brotherhood to Washington, assuring them that the many wars on Earth were now to be conducted entirely by robots, though the robots would be carefully monitored and pulled out of battle and granted citizenship the moment they achieved sentience. He also offered the galactics free access to Google, with only the requirement for tasteful contextually-attuned text advertising to be imprinted on their DNA.
The reactionary forces of the twentieth-century United States finally conceded defeat and shut down the Five-Year Plan Tractor Plants of Detroit, where ridiculous oversized transport was bashed together by semi-literate peasants between fifths of vodka from the nerve gas factory next door, and the Five-Year Plan Software Plants of Redmond, where ridiculous oversized operating systems were bashed together by semi-numerate fresh graduates between fifths of Red Bull. The record and movie company back catalogues have been placed into the public domain for the preservation of human culture and the comic-book capitalists of Wall Street have been sent to calming, soothing, humanistic re-education facilities. "We'll teach them to love again," said Mr Obama.
Robot housecleaners are now universally available at quite reasonable prices. The robot companion for your child, designed to say "I LOVE YOU" while the child hits it repeatedly, was an early release for Christmas 2007. The new model features the voice of Justin Fletcher from CBeebies and is designed for parents to hit repeatedly.
Future innovations for the century include the rise of the Great Old Ones from their eternal sleep to take back the Earth and consume the souls of all humanity, first driving them slowly insane. The citizenry is being prepared for this eventuality using repeated broadcasts of In The Night Garden.
The Guardian Media Group has asked the Government to examine Google News and other content aggregators, claiming they contribute insufficiently to their income.
"The newspapers put their content up on the web for free and then Google, the freeloading bastards, tell people where to find it! Clearly, this must stop. You'd think the Internet wasn't invented to give newspapers and record companies free money!
"We told them to pay up or stop using our stuff, and they said OK, they'd stop using our stuff! We need the Government to bring back balance, 'balance' defined as being able to make them give us money because we want it."
The newspaper group argues that traffic generated by search engines doesn't compensate for the cost involved in producing content. "Ad revenue has collapsed, so search engine traffic doesn't bring in enough views to pay for it. Our inability to sell ads is clearly Google's problem."
The Guardian suggest the exploration of new models that "require fair acknowledgement of the value that our content creates, both on our own site through advertising and 'at the edges' in the world of search and aggregation. Also, they should give us money just because we want it. And the music industry too. How about a bailout? Go on, gi's it."
The newspapers put their content up on the web for free and then Google, the freeloading bastards, tell people where to find it! Clearly, this must stop.
Wikimedia is already asking them about this.
That would be Powerset.
The Performing Right Society and UK Music have come out strongly against YouTube and Google for not just handing them both buckets of money.
The furore started when the PRS demanded that YouTube pay them more money or remove their members' videos, and YouTube removed their members' videos. "It is clear they are too powerful," said Feargal Sharkey, whose bank account died before he got old, "because they were actually able to just tell us to bog off. I am sick and tired of bogus outsiders who spout unworkable utopian visions. Instead, they should give us money because we want it. Just like the record companies used to ... er, hold on, I'll start again."
"Our main focus is on compensating the artist," said Howie Singer from Warner Music. "In theory, I mean, not out of our own pockets or anything. It's amazing what you can make recoupable. As such, it's vital that Google and the ISPs give the artists all the money that can be dragged out of them, plus a perfectly reasonable 87% for us. The six, er, five, er, four majors actually having to write a cheque would be an unsustainable imposition."
The PRS noted its work on increasing the total revenue pool for songwriters by demanding stables pay to play music to horses, people in cars pay if they wind down their windows with the stereo on, and people singing in the shower pay if anyone else in the house could theoretically hear them. They will also be removing 6.75% of buskers' earnings from their guitar cases and 6.75% of children's lunch money in case they sing songs on the way to school, which the busker or child can then apply to get back minus a reasonable handling fee.
HLAGH HLAGH HLAGH
(sorry, someone had to say it)
There's also memory. But most of that's swapped out.
Nope! fish:// caches. It does fetch the directory every now and then, though hitting F5 will do it explicitly.
You can of course test this - if you have it installed, you can run Konqueror from inside GNOME perfectly well. Looks weird but the functionality is there.
*splorf*
It's not a polished XP, it's a polished Vista.
I've been messing with it in a VirtualBox, and it does appear to be rather better than Vista. Slow to boot in 512MB, but responsive and very usable.
I am told it works surprisingly well on current netbooks if they have at least 1 gig of memory. Uses a bit much power, hopefully they can work on that one.
I'm no fan of Microsoft, but they've done not too badly here.
*applause*
:-D
Yeah, that table was brilliant. Microsoft launches furniture that crashes.
I look forward to Microsoft's vision of the Digital Home. Imagine your television, your refrigerator, your gas boiler, all running Windows Vista^W7. What could possibly go wrong?
After bricking unlocked iPhones, kicking applications off the iPhone store that might even slightly compete with iTunes in the far future, filing a wave of patents on basic well-known computer science and openly sodomising iPhone developers in the city square of Palo Alto, Apple Inc. today filed a Form 8-K with the Securities and Exchange Commission declaring that it was openly adopting Evil(tm) as a corporate policy.
"Fuck it," said Steve Jobs to an audience of soul-mortgaged thralls, "we're evil. But our stuff is sooo good. You'll keep taking our abuse. You love it, you worm. Because our stuff is great. It's shiny and it's pretty and it's cool and it works. It's not like you'll go back to a Windows Mobile phone. Ha! Ha!"
Steve Ballmer of Microsoft was incensed at the news. "Our evil is better than anyone's evil! No-one sweats the details of evil like Microsoft! Where's your antitrust trial, you polo-necked bozo? We've worked hard on our evil! Our Zune's as evil as an iPod any day! I won't let my kids use a lesser evil! We're going to do an ad about that! I'll be in it! With Jerry Seinfeld! Beat that! Asshole."
"Of course, we're still not evil," said Sergey Brin of Google. "You can trust us on this. Every bit of data about you, your life and the house you live in is strictly a secret between you and our marketing department. But, hypothetically, if we were evil, it's not like you're going to use Windows Live Search. Ha! Ha! I'm sorry, that's my 'spreading good cheer' laugh. Really."
Primary school pupils should learn how to blog and use internet sites like Twitter and Wikipedia and spend less time studying history, says a review of the primary school curriculum in England by Sir Jim Rose of Ofsted.
Students will also be required to familiarise themselves with podcasts, the iTunes store, the Pirate Bay, b3ta and 4chan. They will gain fluency in handwriting and keyboard skills and learn how two use a spell chequer proper Lee. Literature classes will involve young adult novels written entirely in txt spk.
Earlier versions of the proposal suggested students learn about AltaVista, GeoCities and the dangers of internet paedophiles on Usenet.
Pupils will no longer have to study the Victorian period or the Second World War. But ministers said British history would always be a core part of education. "The history books will undergo proper Party review, of course," said Schools Minister Jim Knight. "The life of Jade Goody is far more relevant to modern culture than patriarchal oppression from dead white males like Churchill or Cromwell."
The move has met some opposition. "How will kids understand Hitler jokes?" said Mary Bousted of the Association of Teachers and Lecturers, "or how Hitler instantly makes any joke funnier? Will anyone watch the UK Hitler Channel again?"
Wikipedia welcomed the move, looking forward to more twenty thousand word articles on minor characters in Charlie & Lola. "Our coverage of Sizzles the dog will be enhanced immeasurably," said administrator WikiFiddler451. "Of course, my article on Lotte's fur coat just reached 'featured' status."
"RT@neilhimself Bally dashed curriculum bally dashed hors de combat. Tish, fie and pish. Maybe they're finally getting their arse in gear xxx," noted Stephen Fry.
Artificial intelligence came a step closer this weekend when a computer came within five percent of passing the Turing Test, which the computer passes if people cannot tell between the computer and a human.
The winning conversation was with competitor LOLBOT:
The human tester said he couldn't believe a computer could be so mind-numbingly stupid.
LOLBOT has since been released into the wild to post random abuse, hentai manga and titty shots to 4chan, after having been banned from YouTube for commenting in a perspicacious and on-topic manner.
LOLBOT was also preemptively banned from editing Wikipedia. "We don't consider this sort of thing a suitable use of the encyclopedia," sniffed administrator WikiFiddler451, who said it had nothing to do with his having been one of the human test subjects picked as a computer.
"This is a marvellous achievement, and shows great progress toward goals I've worked for all my life," said Professor Kevin Warwick of the University of Reading, confirming his status as a system failing the Turing test.
I use Cygwin. In an xterm. Antialiased fonts are the work of Satan!