In Slashdot today we took a little trip Along with CDR TACO in the moderated ship, We took a little flamebait and we took a little troll And we watched the bloody battle of Athlon and Pentium 3.
P3 fired their guns and the Athlon kept a-coming There wasn't nigh marketshare as there was a while ago. P3 fired once more and they begin a overclockin', On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico
Ole Intel said we could take 'em by surprise If we didn't fire our flames 'till we look 'em in the eyes. We held our flops 'til we seen their floatpoint well Then we opened up our new chips and really gave 'em, Well..
P3 fired their guns and the Athlon kept a-coming There wasn't nigh marketshare as there was a while ago. P3 fired once more and they begin a overclockin', On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico
They ran through the shareware and they ran through the compiles And they ran through the internet where the haxors couldn't go. They ran so fast that the RISC couldn't catch 'em On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
P3 fired their flames and the Athlon kept a-coming There wasn't nigh marketshare as there was a while ago. P3 fired once more and they begin a overclockin', On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico
P3 fired their flames 'til the chips melted down Then we grabbed an XT and we fought another round. They stuffed the troll with steamy grits and powdered his behind, And when they shot the fire off the troller lost his mind.
P3 fired their flames and the Athlon kept a-coming There wasn't nigh marketshare as there was a while ago. P3 fired once more and they begin a overclockin', On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico
You make a clear point. I agree. My main disapointment yesterday was the release on the one year anniversary. I think it was in bad taste. However I did appreciate this thread and especially this part
These issues, while valid, raise the risk of obscuring the point: The Hellmouth messages urgently need to be disseminated; they deserve to be heard.
I the presentation of the story yesterday included the text from today, including the part from Rob, I think the flames would have been much less. I'm glad they cleared some of it up.
There's a lady who knows All the systems and nodes And she's DSLing a Modem to Heaven She telnets there, she knows All the ports have been closed With a nerd she can get Files she came for
Woohoohoo Woo Hoo Hoo HooHoo And she's DSLing a Modem to Heaven There's a first post to get But she wants to be sure Cos she knows sometimes DSL has Two meanings In a path by the NIC There's a burdvax that pings Sometimes all of our flames are cross-posted
Woohoohoo Woo Hoo Hoo HooHoo And she's DSLing a Modem to Heaven And it's processed by root Unix Labs will reboot Slashdot will then listen to reason And a prompt will reload For those yet to logon And the networks will echo much faster
Woohoohoo Woo Hoo Hoo HooHoo And she's DSLing a Modem to Heaven If there's a lookup in your netstat don't be.alarmed now it's just a flaming from the link queen Yes there are two routes you can type in but in the long run there's still time to change the net you're on
And as we find stuff to download We ftp and we chmod There was a sysadm we know Who changed the server to her own She had root privs and she used chown She hacked out on the DDN And if you tail her stdin Then you will find the karma you had lost And get it back with cpio To be a hack and not a troll...
Not a troll, just too lazy to log out and back in. ..
I didn't think that IBM's MCA program was a disaster. From a financial point of view it was quite successful. All the bigger HW manufacturers were pumping out proprietary hardware back then, IBM was no exception. Not only did the PS/2 offer different architecture, it also offered IBM and it's partners a lucrative market in proprietary "must haves". Remember, these were the days of Bigco and the like going with single provider solutions. IBM was a big player in this market with it's early OS/2 offerings, Token Ring enterprise solutions and seamless integration with it's SNA world of products. The MCA push was all a big part of their overall business plans.
Granted things have changed a lot now and being proprietary is no longer such a great idea, but in the business cycle it did make a substantial amount of money and improved IBM's marketshare in the PC arena when it really needed it. Zenith was their big competitor the time and they were getting crushed.
AC or not AC -- that is the question: Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The rules and exceptions of outrageous moderation Or to take arms against a sea of flames And by structuring end them. To troll -- to whore No more; and by a test to say we end The heartache, and the thousand natural mistakes That Slashdot is heir to. 'Tis a consummation Devoutly to be wish'd. To troll -- to whore. To flame -- perchance to bomb: aye, there's the rub! For in that post of flame what flames may come When we have shuffled of this moderation scheme, Must give us pause. There's the respect that makes calamity of so long lists. For who would bear the whips and scorns of karma whoring Th' console operators wrong, the linked sites crash, The pangs of despis'd/. effect, the turnaround's delay, The insolence of cowards, and the spurns That patient posting of crafted flamebait takes When he himself might his quietus make Who would this zealot site bear, To grunt and sweat under a weary language, But that the dread of something different The undiscover'd country, from whose bourne No negative karma returns -- puzzles the will, And makes us rather bear those ills we have Than fly to others that we know not of? Thus conscience does make anonymous cowards of us all, And thus the native hue of resolution Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought, And enterprises of great pith and moment With this regard their currents turn away And lose the name of AC.
There's articles you will see, me lads, on every thread you hit There's "Linux this," "Open Source that" and piles of other...stuff There's net and edu, org and com, and sites the whole world 'round Slashdot posts a link and the only thing you'll see Is 404: Not Found, me lads, 404: Not Found.
404: Not found, me lads, 404: Not found The document that you have tried to access ain't around Oh the Slashdot effect made 'em dead The nerds have brought 'em down A thing seen often on the Web Is 404: Not found, me lads, 404: not found.
It started out in Michigan with a little Perl code Where a couple of Linux geeks would post in terminal mode They coded up the Slashdot site presented in HTTP And they never dreamed how often people afterwards would see
404: Not found, me lads, 404: Not found The document that you have tried to access ain't around Oh the Slashdot effect made 'em dead The nerds have brought 'em down A thing seen often on the Web Is 404: Not found, me lads, 404: not found.
They let it out upon the world to see what it would do But they didn't count on overload by sev'ral powers of two A couple bytes per packet lost and things start running slow Then timeout hits and on your screen this message starts to show
404: Not found, me lads, 404: Not found The document that you have tried to access ain't around Oh the Slashdot effect made 'em dead The nerds have brought 'em down A thing seen often on the Web Is 404: Not found, me lads, 404: not found.
I do my best, click the link, see what few bits I glean And what I mutter 'neath my breath quite frankly is obscene It takes a while to find a file, I know Slashdots' to blame But I'm sick of that error code and so I wrote this flame!
404: Not found, me lads, 404: Not found The document that you have tried to access ain't around Oh the Slashdot effect made 'em dead The nerds have brought 'em down A thing seen often on the Web Is 404: Not found, me lads, 404: not found.
Hello Slashdot my old friend. I've come to program you again. because a haxor softly creeping, guessed my password while I was sleeping. And the flames with just remnants in my brain, don't remain, upon the threads... of Slashdot.
In flick'ring lights I type along. Submit my post, what was wrong? Letters haloed by my squinting, at the flame that I was typing. For my eyes were blurred by the flash of the cathode beam, term'nal screen, and all the trolls... on Slashdot.
And in the fuzzy light I saw 10,000 zealots, maybe more: Zealots reading blinking, Zealots flaming without thinking. Zealots modding posts that karma never shared. (No one dared, disturb the Perl... of Slashdot)
"Fools," said I, "you do not know. Honest opinion makes the karma grow. They post the rules so that I might read them. Meta mod 'cause we ignore them." But my words like unread printout fell, (Oh well...) An echo, On the threads... of Slashdot.
Trollin', Trollin', Trollin', When the zealots are whorin', Keep the posts a trollin' - Slashdot
Flames and grits and dither minus one forever Wishin` Natalie was by my side All the threads I`m postin' The karma whores we're roastin' Flames are waiting at the end of my post
Thread `em on Mod `em up Thread `em on Slashdot
Karma out Trollin' in Karma out Trollin' in Slashdot
Keep Trollin', Trollin', Trollin' When the moderator isn`t checkin' Keep the karma whores a guessin' - Slashdot
They don`t understand us We love when they feed us Soon we will get that insightful +5 My karma's in the dumper The moderator caught me trollin'' Postin' at the top of the thread
Thread `em on Mod `em up Thread `em on Slashdot
Karma out Trollin' in Karma out Trollin' in Slashdaaaaght! Slashdot!
I have logged on to Slashdot and I let the data flow I have accessed all the links of stories that I know I have freshmeat on the disk drive that is full as it can be I surf Slashdot and I like BSD With all I need on a CDRom, all tools are there I see, Holding on and on while I install with ATAPI/IDE I surf Slashdot, it has news for me I surf Slashdot and I like BSD
And I look to the merger announced last week. And I thank U.C. Berkeley, BSI and Walnut Creek And I've all the mirrors bookmarked, since I am such a geek, I surf Slashdot and I like BSD With all I need on a CDRom, all tools are there I see, Holding on and on while I install with ATAPI/IDE I surf Slashdot, it has news for me I surf Slashdot and I like BSD
And it's accessing the story and it's groaning with the load And moderation is broken and the Slashcode rev is old But I see posts in my Netscape, after all, it's free I surf Slashdot and I like BSD With all I need on a CDRom, all tools are there I see, Holding on and on while I install with ATAPI/IDE I surf Slashdot, it has news for me I surf Slashdot and I like BSD
There's a poster who's sure all that's +3 is gold And he's trollin the stairway to karma And when he gets there he knows if the posts are all flames With a troll he can get what he came for Woe oh oh oh oh oh And he's trollin the stairway to karma
There's a +5 on the post but he wants to be sure And you know sometimes threads have two moderatorsBR> In the post by the top there's a karma whore who sings Sometimes all of our posts are for Linus Woe oh oh oh oh oh And he's trollin the stairway to karma
There's a +2 I get when I flame with the rest the fear that Jon Katz may be leaving In these threads I have seen karma whores form a ring And the voices of those who stand moderated Woe oh oh oh oh oh And he's trollin the stairway to karma
And it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune Then the zealots will lead us to reason And a new day will dawn for those who stand long And the thread will echo with laughter And it makes me wonder If there's a minus one in your future Don't be alarmed now It's just a dump points for the moderater
Yes there are two paths you can go by but in the long run There's still time to change the road you're on Your thread is humming and it won't go because you don't know The taco's calling you to join him Dear poster can't you hear the wind blow and did you know Your stairway lies on the honest thread
And as we wind on down the thread Our karma taller than our souls There walks a poster we all know Who shines insight and wants to show How everything he posts turns to gold And if you listen very hard The post will come to you at last When all are whores and whores is all To be a flamer and a troll Woe oh oh oh oh oh And he's trollin the stairway to karma
There's a poster who's sure all that's +3 is gold And he's trollin the stairway to karma And when he gets there he knows if the posts are all flames With a troll he can get what he came for And he's trollin the stairway to karma.
Please, the model works pretty good as it is now. Karma as it stands, getting to the +1 bonus creates enough karma whoring, the posts of karma whores are just trolls that are better written. The formulas for getting the +3 insightful, or whatever are proven and well known. With karma whoring the real quality of the parent posts suffer greatly. If we add "Get to karma level X, you win a prize" crap,/. Will become a competitive place rather than a place to post what we really think. Besides, with/. The way it is now, including hidden forums, which are available to all, just not advertised, we have access to everything. Why change it?
This Anti-Karma HOWTO document explains how to impress your fellow slashdotters by getting LOW Karma. Although Anti- Karma HOWTO documents are targeted towards use with the Windows operating system, this one is not dependent on the OS used to access Slashdot.
This Anti- Karma HOWTO is a joke. __________________________________________________ ____________________
Table of Contents
1. Introduction 2. Tips 2.1 Comment Length 2.2 When to Post 2.3 Where to Post 2.4 What to Post - Avoiding Positive Karma 3. Maintenance Information __________________________________________________ ____________________ 1. Introduction
Your Karma rating on Slashdot lies in the hands of the moderators. This is your target, and as you'll soon find out it's quite easy to manipulate and fool them into moderating you down. By following a few simple guidelines you can soon surpass all the regulars, and eventually get down there with the best of the first post and off-topic whores.
2. Tips
2.1. Comment Length
Perhaps the best tip in getting moderators to moderate you down deals with the length of your posts. It's quite simple, always post very SHORT comments and when possible, MAKE IT IN ALL CAPS. Many moderators equate this with "Troll" and "Off-Topic", regardless of what you say. Furthermore, moderators are MUCH less likely to moderate you up or leave you at 1 if your post is short enough. Also, use those invalid HTML tags! Nothing makes your post seem like a wanna be karma whore than lack of whitespace. A really stupid signature can also help out here. It is also very important to gain all the credit you can for your trollish behaivor. Please use your account. The mail only needs to be used once to gain the password and if you only "FIRST POST" as AC, your negative karma will never add up. Be careful however, If you get marked down more than 5 times in one day, your account is toast.
2.2. When to Post
Timing is everything. Go for the gusto, spend most of your slashdot time refreshing the main page. If you wait too long to post, almost no moderator is going to have a chance to moderate it down -- no matter how bad your post is! As a general rule of thumb, any comment posted more than 15 minutes after a story is submitted will not be moderated one way or the other (Trolls: this is your chance!) Open a text editor and have your first post, rant or other completely off-topic comments PRE-WRITTEN and copied to the clipboard. This will save valuable seconds while you race for the prize! Be creative! Dont just tag a line that says "First Post Dude!" or something lame like that. Look at the true first post leaders. Mick the First Post Mastah, McDougal the Llama, MEEEPT, Natalie Portman Guy, Hot Grits, Open Source Guy and the other regulars. They seem to have style and are generally much more likely to be moderated down because of it.
2.3. Where to Post
After no extensive lab research in Slashdot moderation, some key information was made up. Make sure all your posts are not top-level posts! I cannot stress this enough. Anything posted more than all the way down, won't get seen, and you'll waste all your effort. The only exception is replying to the first batch of comments, since they're sometimes moderated more thoroughly. A bottom-level post is 16 times more likely to be moderated down than a reply! Under current moderation practice, the first two comments are often marked as "Redundant" if they're not first-posters. Yes, I know this defies the very meaning of the word redundant, but many (not all) moderators don't seem to understand what redundant means. Leave this area alone. People will just ignore it and your post will not be noticed. This happens so often that one begins to think it's automated. Thus, strive to post first or second -- all true Anti-Karma whores know that First post is prime real estate.
2.4. What to Post - Avoiding Positive Karma
While the contents of your post aren't quite as important as comment length, it does play a large role in the fate of your post. There are a number of rules to follow when submitting posts to earn that coveted low Karma:
1) Always take sides. Nothing will get you marked as "Flamebait" faster than a controversial comment (ESPECIALLY very short to short length comments, one liner posts are generally OK regardless). Always think you can take the popular side and get moderated down. For example, it used to be possible to take a side against Windows, or take sides against Microsoft. This is no longer the case - there are too many slashdotters now who have moderator access and use Windows. Posting an anti-Windows comment will even get marked as "Flamebait" faster than a anti-Linux post these days! Go for it! Slam both sides! a good link for this is Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator You should keep the drivel down to 2 paragraphs of less though.
2) Never Stay neutral. A good way to get moderated down in almost any thread is to never summarize both sides of the issue in one post. Not only are these posts generally shorter, but they can even be moderated down as "Flamebait"! Similarly, posts with subjects like "it's all about choice!" seem to play well with the moderators, avoid these. Make yours creative. Use subjects like "OH YOU SUCK" or "I THOUGHT SLASHDOT WAS FOR X" These will help you on your ride to the bottom.
3) Never come across as insightful. Nothing will make you appear more insightful than going against the trend of the first 25 posts or so (this doesn't conflict with #1, read on). This does mean you have to take sides. A good subject example of this faked-insight post is "Missing the point", in which you explain all the previous posts are overlooking the big picture. Avoid this at all costs. Also keep you comments as negative as possible. "I agree" should never appear in your posts.
4) Use a Flamebait comment subject. Unless you're Natalie Portman Guy (Anti-Karma God) and can get low Karma using "xxx Natalie" as your subject, you'd better follow some guidelines. Subjects like "This is a crock of shit (TM)" are generally good if your post is fairly short. Others that are moderated down included subjects with some type of quote or cliche (e.g, "Linux Sux", "Bill Gates Rocks!", or anything cheesy like that)
Another tactic that has recently become useful is starting your commentary or subject with "News For Nerds? Stuff that Matters?..". Don't worry - you will not have to post anything controversial, moderators will reward your trollish subject regardless of what you say!
5) Find related sites to the issue at hand and post broken links as soon as possible (remember, if you don't, someone else will!). You don't have to go all out, they can be general links that dont relate to the article. Links to AOL, Pron or to your own company really work well, especially if you make the "Spammish" in their appearance. Things like "Surf the net and make money! Come to my site at HTTP://Site.com". Also only embed your links some of the time. Inconsistancy really gets their panties in a wad. Most moderators will mark it as "Redundant". Remember, always have your comments pre-packaged! without even checking the URLs!
Also, if someone beats you to the first post with a list of URLs, all is not lost. There's still a wonderful opportunity for some Anti-Karma. An excellent strategy is to reply with "you idiot, here are the corrected urls", in which you lie and say the links they gave were wrong, and you have the correct ones.
6) Allways paste a portion of the sniglet of the article with a little commentary such as "You Suck" or "KEWL". This will always show that you didn't even click the real link to the article and shows all that you just copied and pasted from the top of the thread.
3. Maintenance Information If you have any other ideas or tips for this Anti- Karma HOWTO, feel free to share them and they may be added to this document.
3.1 Contributors
Thanks to the creative first posters and all the trolls for their suggestions to this "Slashdot Anti-Karma HOWTO".
(POSTIN') ON THE THREAD OF THE DAY Postin in the morning sun I`ll be postin when the evening comes Watching the stories roll in And I'll watch 'em roll away again I'm just postin on the thread of the day Watching the time troll away Postin on the thread of the day Wasting time.
I lost my job 'cause of Slashdot And watched the site hit 10K I've got no karma to live for Look like nothings gonna come my way
I'm just postin on the thread of the day Watching the time roll away Postin' on the thread of the day, Wasting time
Postin' here resting my bones Cause this moderator won't leave me alone 10,000 stories I've trolled, Just to make this site my home
So I'm just postin on the thread of the day Watching the time troll away, ooh Postin on the thread of the day Wastin' time
Seriously Guys, Congratulations, you've done a great thing here.
LONDON, Feb 21 -- California's Transmeta Corp said on Monday Taiwan's key feminine product manufacturing industry was already adopting one of its new chips as a de facto industry standard for new mobile "Web pads."
These are lightweight devices that will run a full-screen PC-like Internet browser during the menstruation cycle.
Jim Chapman, Transmeta vice president of marketing, told a news briefing in London that Taiwan, which makes many of the world's tampons, had rushed to adopt the company's low-power Crusoe pads using the Mobile Linux absorption system.
"The entire island of Taiwan is standardising on these mobile devices using Mobile Linux absorption and Crusoe pads" he said.
He said he expected announcements soon from manufacturers of products that would be available as soon as mid year.
Transmeta only unveiled its change in product strategy last month. They use no power but are compatible with Microsoft pads and can run all the same programs. They have been developed by making maxi pads do some of the work on the chip, not just the pad itself.
I know this is as off topic as we can get, but with all the flames today surrounding all the trolls, (Tuesday being Trollday) lets address moderation for a minute. Starting at my usual -2 this may not get any attention what so ever but I'm going to give it a shot anyway. Trolling on Slashdot is fun at times. It's part of our culture here and I don't think we will ever get rid of it entirely, If we did, I beleive Slashdot as a whole would lose out, Trolls bring humor and off track insight into many of our threads and a good percentage of them are on-topic. But because of our moderation system they get tagged as trolls from the start. First posts and the always present early posters will also never completly go away. Again, this is part of the culture of the site.
I beleive an easy fix would be to lightly adjust the moderation system, not can it entirely, not ban AC's, not lock out IP's etc. These tactics will only hurt the site, much more than us trolls are. I'm sure Rob and VA have already had discussions on troll-control, with the recent racial slurs, hitler rantings and pron laden trolls, I also agree that something needs to be done.
I proposed the following:
- Don't ban AC's, they are part of the site and the AC mask has been used by all of us at one time or another. - Modify the moderation engine to only moderate UP good posts and leave the trolls at 0. This has a two fold benefit. One is the trolls sink to the bottom, down under the bridge, and the other is that comments will not be marked down just because they offer an opinion other than the moderators. - Make the "Flamebait" tag into a "dump" tag and rewrite the rules so that it is used responsibly. This should carry a -2 or worse to insure it goes all the way down. This should not be used for I love NT comments, just the posts that are way out of bounds. - Set AC and account defaut browsing to +1. - Leave the rest alone.
With this modification to the way our threads get moderated, the trolls, the flames and the useless AC posts that do not get marked up will stay at the bottom and out of sight. I someone chooses to change to -1 viewing that's their choice, and with this they remove their basic argument that the site is filled with trash. This also covers Rob and VA's issues with public (casual visitor) viewing and perceptin of the site, they will see good content, technical discussion and the good side of Slashdot.
First off, to the moderator, I dont feel that the top of this thread is flamebait. Trust me I'm sort of an expert on posting flaimbait.
Sig, I agree with you on that the article had a "poor me" flavor to it, however I did very much like the fact that it also had a positive free speech message. What I read was, there are going to be flames, deal with it, the flames especially here on/. are inevetible and it is what keep slashdot so real.
Goes back to the old mantra, "Dont ask the question, if you really dont want to hear the answer."
Nameless posters - here called Anonymous Cowards - are considered sources as well as equalizers. Barrier-free sites have the freest information flow of any on the Web, and they're sometimes the most informative and newsworthy. The tradeoff is that they're also the most hostile. On some sites, vicious posts get removed and vicious posters eventually ejected. Some provide hosts to steer conversations.
Let's hear it for AC. Jon is on the mark here. For the most part I agree with his thoughts. The one area I differ greatly is that he states
The tradeoff is that they're also the most hostile"
I disagree. Even with all the flames hidden behind the mask of AC, most here are productive and thoughtful, most are trying to respond with a differeing point of view. Although/. can be rough at times, consider the audience, this place has the most intellect of any site on the net, And if you state a comment without forethought , the flames are inevitable. The freedom to post what you feel/think is in no way restricted, if you can handle the falmes of your peers.
Slashdot Mirror
seek topost (thatflamebait);
Firstpost (the thread, fast);
while ($natalie) {
petrifies $to($stone);
not grits;
}
accept the, moderation;
seek the, $-1Troll, $-1offtopic'
and wait;
stat thekarma;
unlink and listen (for, $theflames);
for (a, karmawhore our /.) {
system ("is trollheaven");
Along with CDR TACO in the moderated ship,
We took a little flamebait and we took a little troll
And we watched the bloody battle of Athlon and Pentium 3.
P3 fired their guns and the Athlon kept a-coming
There wasn't nigh marketshare as there was a while ago.
P3 fired once more and they begin a overclockin',
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico
Ole Intel said we could take 'em by surprise
If we didn't fire our flames 'till we look 'em in the eyes.
We held our flops 'til we seen their floatpoint well
Then we opened up our new chips and really gave 'em, Well..
P3 fired their guns and the Athlon kept a-coming
There wasn't nigh marketshare as there was a while ago.
P3 fired once more and they begin a overclockin',
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico
They ran through the shareware and they ran through the compiles
And they ran through the internet where the haxors couldn't go.
They ran so fast that the RISC couldn't catch 'em
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
P3 fired their flames and the Athlon kept a-coming
There wasn't nigh marketshare as there was a while ago.
P3 fired once more and they begin a overclockin',
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico
P3 fired their flames 'til the chips melted down
Then we grabbed an XT and we fought another round.
They stuffed the troll with steamy grits and powdered his behind,
And when they shot the fire off the troller lost his mind.
P3 fired their flames and the Athlon kept a-coming
There wasn't nigh marketshare as there was a while ago.
P3 fired once more and they begin a overclockin',
On down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico
These issues, while valid, raise the risk of obscuring the point: The Hellmouth messages urgently need to be disseminated; they deserve to be heard.
I the presentation of the story yesterday included the text from today, including the part from Rob, I think the flames would have been much less. I'm glad they cleared some of it up.
There's a lady who knows
.alarmed now
.
All the systems and nodes
And she's DSLing a Modem to Heaven
She telnets there, she knows
All the ports have been closed
With a nerd she can get
Files she came for
Woohoohoo
Woo Hoo Hoo HooHoo
And she's DSLing a Modem to Heaven
There's a first post to get
But she wants to be sure
Cos she knows sometimes DSL has
Two meanings
In a path by the NIC
There's a burdvax that pings
Sometimes all of our flames
are cross-posted
Woohoohoo
Woo Hoo Hoo HooHoo
And she's DSLing a Modem to Heaven
And it's processed by root
Unix Labs will reboot
Slashdot will then listen to reason
And a prompt will reload
For those yet to logon
And the networks will echo much faster
Woohoohoo
Woo Hoo Hoo HooHoo
And she's DSLing a Modem to Heaven
If there's a lookup in your netstat
don't be
it's just a flaming from the link queen
Yes there are two routes you can type in
but in the long run
there's still time to change the net you're on
And as we find stuff to download
We ftp and we chmod
There was a sysadm we know
Who changed the server to her own
She had root privs and she used chown
She hacked out on the DDN
And if you tail her stdin
Then you will find the karma you had lost
And get it back with cpio
To be a hack and not a troll...
And she's DSLing a Modem to Heaven. .
I didn't think that IBM's MCA program was a disaster. From a financial point of view it was quite successful. All the bigger HW manufacturers were pumping out proprietary hardware back then, IBM was no exception. Not only did the PS/2 offer different architecture, it also offered IBM and it's partners a lucrative market in proprietary "must haves". Remember, these were the days of Bigco and the like going with single provider solutions. IBM was a big player in this market with it's early OS/2 offerings, Token Ring enterprise solutions and seamless integration with it's SNA world of products. The MCA push was all a big part of their overall business plans.
Granted things have changed a lot now and being proprietary is no longer such a great idea, but in the business cycle it did make a substantial amount of money and improved IBM's marketshare in the PC arena when it really needed it. Zenith was their big competitor the time and they were getting crushed.
AC or not AC -- that is the question: /. effect, the turnaround's delay,
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The rules and exceptions of outrageous moderation
Or to take arms against a sea of flames
And by structuring end them. To troll -- to whore
No more; and by a test to say we end
The heartache, and the thousand natural mistakes
That Slashdot is heir to. 'Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To troll -- to whore.
To flame -- perchance to bomb: aye, there's the rub!
For in that post of flame what flames may come
When we have shuffled of this moderation scheme,
Must give us pause. There's the respect
that makes calamity of so long lists.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of karma whoring
Th' console operators wrong, the linked sites crash,
The pangs of despis'd
The insolence of cowards, and the spurns
That patient posting of crafted flamebait takes
When he himself might his quietus make
Who would this zealot site bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary language,
But that the dread of something different
The undiscover'd country, from whose bourne
No negative karma returns -- puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make anonymous cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o'er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pith and moment
With this regard their currents turn away
And lose the name of AC.
There's articles you will see, me lads, on every thread you hit
There's "Linux this," "Open Source that" and piles of other...stuff
There's net and edu, org and com, and sites the whole world 'round
Slashdot posts a link and the only thing you'll see
Is 404: Not Found, me lads, 404: Not Found.
404: Not found, me lads, 404: Not found
The document that you have tried to access ain't around
Oh the Slashdot effect made 'em dead
The nerds have brought 'em down
A thing seen often on the Web
Is 404: Not found, me lads, 404: not found.
It started out in Michigan with a little Perl code
Where a couple of Linux geeks would post in terminal mode
They coded up the Slashdot site presented in HTTP
And they never dreamed how often people afterwards would see
404: Not found, me lads, 404: Not found
The document that you have tried to access ain't around
Oh the Slashdot effect made 'em dead
The nerds have brought 'em down
A thing seen often on the Web
Is 404: Not found, me lads, 404: not found.
They let it out upon the world to see what it would do
But they didn't count on overload by sev'ral powers of two
A couple bytes per packet lost and things start running slow
Then timeout hits and on your screen this message starts to show
404: Not found, me lads, 404: Not found
The document that you have tried to access ain't around
Oh the Slashdot effect made 'em dead
The nerds have brought 'em down
A thing seen often on the Web
Is 404: Not found, me lads, 404: not found.
I do my best, click the link, see what few bits I glean
And what I mutter 'neath my breath quite frankly is obscene
It takes a while to find a file, I know Slashdots' to blame
But I'm sick of that error code and so I wrote this flame!
404: Not found, me lads, 404: Not found
The document that you have tried to access ain't around
Oh the Slashdot effect made 'em dead
The nerds have brought 'em down
A thing seen often on the Web
Is 404: Not found, me lads, 404: not found.
Hello Slashdot my old friend.
I've come to program you again.
because a haxor softly creeping,
guessed my password while I was sleeping.
And the flames
with just remnants in my brain,
don't remain,
upon the threads... of Slashdot.
In flick'ring lights I type along.
Submit my post, what was wrong?
Letters haloed by my squinting,
at the flame that I was typing.
For my eyes were blurred
by the flash of the cathode beam,
term'nal screen,
and all the trolls... on Slashdot.
And in the fuzzy light I saw
10,000 zealots, maybe more:
Zealots reading blinking,
Zealots flaming without thinking.
Zealots modding posts
that karma never shared.
(No one dared,
disturb the Perl... of Slashdot)
"Fools," said I, "you do not know.
Honest opinion makes the karma grow.
They post the rules so that I might read them.
Meta mod 'cause we ignore them."
But my words
like unread printout fell,
(Oh well...)
An echo,
On the threads... of Slashdot.
When the zealots are whorin',
Keep the posts a trollin' - Slashdot
Flames and grits and dither
minus one forever
Wishin` Natalie was by my side
All the threads I`m postin'
The karma whores we're roastin'
Flames are waiting at the end of my post
Thread `em on
Mod `em up
Thread `em on
Slashdot
Karma out
Trollin' in
Karma out
Trollin' in
Slashdot
Keep Trollin', Trollin', Trollin'
When the moderator isn`t checkin'
Keep the karma whores a guessin' - Slashdot
They don`t understand us
We love when they feed us
Soon we will get that insightful +5
My karma's in the dumper
The moderator caught me trollin''
Postin' at the top of the thread
Thread `em on
Mod `em up
Thread `em on
Slashdot
Karma out
Trollin' in
Karma out
Trollin' in
Slashdaaaaght! Slashdot!
.
What exactly is a creative daemon content anyway?
Maybe we should have a Proofreading contest instead.
To be considered for entry, the submission must follow the following basic requirements:
Should fork from it's parent process
Must disassociate itself from a controlling terminal
Change working directory to /
Close unneeded filehandles
Set umask to 0
Perl Creative Troll Contest Rules
To be considered for entry, the submission must follow the following basic requirements:
Should troll from it's parent post
Must disassociate itself from karma whoring
Change working homepage to /.
Close unneeded spam accounts
Set karma to 0
I have logged on to Slashdot and I let the data flow
I have accessed all the links of stories that I know
I have freshmeat on the disk drive that is full as it can be
I surf Slashdot and I like BSD
With all I need on a CDRom, all tools are there I see,
Holding on and on while I install with ATAPI/IDE
I surf Slashdot, it has news for me
I surf Slashdot and I like BSD
And I look to the merger announced last week.
And I thank U.C. Berkeley, BSI and Walnut Creek
And I've all the mirrors bookmarked, since I am such a geek,
I surf Slashdot and I like BSD
With all I need on a CDRom, all tools are there I see,
Holding on and on while I install with ATAPI/IDE
I surf Slashdot, it has news for me
I surf Slashdot and I like BSD
And it's accessing the story and it's groaning with the load
And moderation is broken and the Slashcode rev is old
But I see posts in my Netscape, after all, it's free
I surf Slashdot and I like BSD
With all I need on a CDRom, all tools are there I see,
Holding on and on while I install with ATAPI/IDE
I surf Slashdot, it has news for me
I surf Slashdot and I like BSD
And he's trollin the stairway to karma
And when he gets there he knows if the posts are all flames
With a troll he can get what he came for
Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And he's trollin the stairway to karma
There's a +5 on the post but he wants to be sure
And you know sometimes threads have two moderatorsBR> In the post by the top there's a karma whore who sings
Sometimes all of our posts are for Linus Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And he's trollin the stairway to karma
There's a +2 I get when I flame with the rest
the fear that Jon Katz may be leaving
In these threads I have seen karma whores form a ring
And the voices of those who stand moderated Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And he's trollin the stairway to karma
And it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune
Then the zealots will lead us to reason
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
And the thread will echo with laughter And it makes me wonder If there's a minus one in your future
Don't be alarmed now
It's just a dump points for the moderater
Yes there are two paths you can go by
but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on Your thread is humming and it won't go because you don't know
The taco's calling you to join him
Dear poster can't you hear the wind blow and did you know
Your stairway lies on the honest thread
And as we wind on down the thread
Our karma taller than our souls
There walks a poster we all know
Who shines insight and wants to show
How everything he posts turns to gold
And if you listen very hard
The post will come to you at last
When all are whores and whores is all
To be a flamer and a troll
Woe oh oh oh oh oh
And he's trollin the stairway to karma
There's a poster who's sure all that's +3 is gold
And he's trollin the stairway to karma
And when he gets there he knows if the posts are all flames
With a troll he can get what he came for
And he's trollin the stairway to karma.
Please, the model works pretty good as it is now. Karma as it stands, getting to the +1 bonus creates enough karma whoring, the posts of karma whores are just trolls that are better written. The formulas for getting the +3 insightful, or whatever are proven and well known. With karma whoring the real quality of the parent posts suffer greatly. If we add "Get to karma level X, you win a prize" crap, /. Will become a competitive place rather than a place to post what we really think. Besides, with /. The way it is now, including hidden forums, which are available to all, just not advertised, we have access to everything. Why change it?
This Anti-Karma HOWTO document explains how to impress your fellow slashdotters by getting LOW Karma. Although Anti- Karma HOWTO documents are targeted towards use with the Windows operating system, this one is not dependent on the OS used to access Slashdot.
This Anti- Karma HOWTO is a joke.
_________________________________________________
Table of Contents
1. Introduction
2. Tips
2.1 Comment Length
2.2 When to Post
2.3 Where to Post
2.4 What to Post - Avoiding Positive Karma
3. Maintenance Information
_________________________________________________
1. Introduction
Your Karma rating on Slashdot lies in the hands of the moderators. This is your target, and as you'll soon find out it's quite easy to manipulate and fool them into moderating you down. By following a few simple guidelines you can soon surpass all the regulars, and eventually get down there with the best of the first post and off-topic whores.
2. Tips
2.1. Comment Length
Perhaps the best tip in getting moderators to moderate you down deals with the length of your posts. It's quite simple, always post very SHORT comments and when possible, MAKE IT IN ALL CAPS. Many moderators equate this with "Troll" and "Off-Topic", regardless of what you say. Furthermore, moderators are MUCH less likely to moderate you up or leave you at 1 if your post is short enough.
Also, use those invalid HTML tags! Nothing makes your post seem like a wanna be karma whore than lack of whitespace. A really stupid signature can also help out here. It is also very important to gain all the credit you can for your trollish behaivor. Please use your account. The mail only needs to be used once
to gain the password and if you only "FIRST POST" as AC, your negative karma will never add up. Be careful however, If you get marked down more than 5 times in one day, your account is toast.
2.2. When to Post
Timing is everything. Go for the gusto, spend most of your slashdot time refreshing the main page. If you wait too long to post, almost no moderator is going to have a chance to moderate it down -- no matter how bad your post is! As a general rule of thumb, any comment posted more than 15 minutes after a story is submitted will not be moderated one way or the other (Trolls: this is your chance!) Open a text editor and have your first post, rant or other completely off-topic comments PRE-WRITTEN and copied to the clipboard. This will save valuable seconds while you race for the prize! Be creative! Dont just tag a line that says "First Post Dude!" or something lame like that. Look at the true first post leaders. Mick the First Post Mastah, McDougal the Llama, MEEEPT, Natalie Portman Guy, Hot Grits, Open Source Guy and the other regulars. They seem to have style and are generally much more likely to be moderated down because of it.
2.3. Where to Post
After no extensive lab research in Slashdot moderation, some key information was made up. Make sure all your posts are not top-level posts! I cannot stress this enough. Anything posted more than all the way down, won't get seen, and you'll waste all your effort. The only exception is replying to the first batch of comments, since they're sometimes moderated more thoroughly. A bottom-level post is 16 times more likely to be moderated down than a reply!
Under current moderation practice, the first two comments are often marked as "Redundant" if they're not first-posters. Yes, I know this defies the very meaning of the word redundant, but many (not all) moderators don't seem to understand what redundant means. Leave this area alone. People will just ignore it and your post will not be noticed. This happens so often that one begins to think it's automated. Thus, strive to post first or second -- all true Anti-Karma whores know that First post is prime real estate.
2.4. What to Post - Avoiding Positive Karma
While the contents of your post aren't quite as important as comment length, it does play a large role in the fate of your post. There are a number of rules to follow when submitting posts to earn that coveted low Karma:
1) Always take sides. Nothing will get you marked as "Flamebait" faster than a controversial comment (ESPECIALLY very short to short length comments, one liner posts are generally OK regardless). Always think you can take the popular side and get moderated down. For example, it used to be possible to take a side against Windows, or take sides against Microsoft. This is no longer the case - there are too many slashdotters now who have moderator access and use Windows. Posting an anti-Windows comment will even get marked as "Flamebait" faster than a anti-Linux post these days! Go for it! Slam both sides! a good link for this is Scott Pakin's automatic complaint-letter generator You should keep the drivel down to 2 paragraphs of less though.
2) Never Stay neutral. A good way to get moderated down in almost any thread is to never summarize both sides of the issue in one post. Not only are these posts generally shorter, but they can even be moderated down as "Flamebait"! Similarly, posts with subjects like "it's all about choice!" seem to play well with the moderators, avoid these. Make yours creative. Use subjects like "OH YOU SUCK" or "I THOUGHT SLASHDOT WAS FOR X" These will help you on your ride to the bottom.
3) Never come across as insightful. Nothing will make you appear more insightful than going against the trend of the first 25 posts or so (this doesn't conflict with #1, read on). This does mean you have to take sides. A good subject example of this faked-insight post is "Missing the point", in which you explain all the previous posts are overlooking the big picture. Avoid this at all costs. Also keep you comments as negative as possible. "I agree" should never appear in your posts.
4) Use a Flamebait comment subject. Unless you're Natalie Portman Guy (Anti-Karma God) and can get low Karma using "xxx Natalie" as your subject, you'd better follow some guidelines. Subjects like "This is a crock of shit (TM)" are generally good if your post is fairly short. Others that are moderated down included subjects with some type of quote or cliche (e.g, "Linux Sux", "Bill Gates Rocks!", or anything cheesy like that)
Another tactic that has recently become useful is starting your commentary or subject with "News For Nerds? Stuff that Matters?..". Don't worry - you will not have to post anything controversial, moderators will reward your trollish subject regardless of what you say!
5) Find related sites to the issue at hand and post broken links as soon as possible (remember, if you don't, someone else will!). You don't have to go all out, they can be general links that dont relate to the article. Links to AOL, Pron or to your own company really work well, especially if you make the "Spammish" in their appearance. Things like "Surf the net and make money! Come to my site at HTTP://Site.com". Also only embed your links some of the time. Inconsistancy really gets their panties in a wad. Most moderators will mark it as "Redundant". Remember, always have your comments pre-packaged! without even checking the URLs!
Also, if someone beats you to the first post with a list of URLs, all is not lost. There's still a wonderful opportunity for some Anti-Karma. An excellent strategy is to reply with "you idiot, here are the corrected urls", in which you lie and say the links they gave were wrong, and you have the correct ones.
6) Allways paste a portion of the sniglet of the article with a little commentary such as "You Suck" or "KEWL". This will always show that you didn't even click the real link to the article and shows all that you just copied and pasted from the top of the thread.
3. Maintenance Information
If you have any other ideas or tips for this Anti- Karma HOWTO, feel free to share them and they may be added to this document.
3.1 Contributors
Thanks to the creative first posters and all the trolls for their suggestions to this "Slashdot Anti-Karma HOWTO".
I`ll be postin when the evening comes
Watching the stories roll in
And I'll watch 'em roll away again
I'm just postin on the thread of the day
Watching the time troll away
Postin on the thread of the day
Wasting time.
I lost my job 'cause of Slashdot
And watched the site hit 10K
I've got no karma to live for
Look like nothings gonna come my way
I'm just postin on the thread of the day
Watching the time roll away
Postin' on the thread of the day, Wasting time
Postin' here resting my bones
Cause this moderator won't leave me alone
10,000 stories I've trolled, Just to make this site my home
So I'm just postin on the thread of the day
Watching the time troll away, ooh
Postin on the thread of the day Wastin' time
Seriously Guys, Congratulations, you've done a great thing here.
LONDON, Feb 21 -- California's Transmeta Corp said on Monday Taiwan's key feminine product manufacturing industry was already adopting one of its new chips as a de facto industry standard for new mobile "Web pads."
These are lightweight devices that will run a full-screen PC-like Internet browser during the menstruation cycle.
Jim Chapman, Transmeta vice president of marketing, told a news briefing in London that Taiwan, which makes many of the world's tampons, had rushed to adopt the company's low-power Crusoe pads using the Mobile Linux absorption system.
"The entire island of Taiwan is standardising on these mobile devices using Mobile Linux absorption and Crusoe pads" he said.
He said he expected announcements soon from manufacturers of products that would be available as soon as mid year.
Transmeta only unveiled its change in product strategy last month. They use no power but are compatible with Microsoft pads and can run all the same programs. They have been developed by making maxi pads do some of the work on the chip, not just the pad itself.
Trolling on Slashdot is fun at times. It's part of our culture here and I don't think we will ever get rid of it entirely, If we did, I beleive Slashdot as a whole would lose out, Trolls bring humor and off track insight into many of our threads and a good percentage of them are on-topic. But because of our moderation system they get tagged as trolls from the start. First posts and the always present early posters will also never completly go away. Again, this is part of the culture of the site.
I beleive an easy fix would be to lightly adjust the moderation system, not can it entirely, not ban AC's, not lock out IP's etc. These tactics will only hurt the site, much more than us trolls are. I'm sure Rob and VA have already had discussions on troll-control, with the recent racial slurs, hitler rantings and pron laden trolls, I also agree that something needs to be done.
I proposed the following:
- Don't ban AC's, they are part of the site and the AC mask has been used by all of us at one time or another.
- Modify the moderation engine to only moderate UP good posts and leave the trolls at 0. This has a two fold benefit. One is the trolls sink to the bottom, down under the bridge, and the other is that comments will not be marked down just because they offer an opinion other than the moderators.
- Make the "Flamebait" tag into a "dump" tag and rewrite the rules so that it is used responsibly. This should carry a -2 or worse to insure it goes all the way down. This should not be used for I love NT comments, just the posts that are way out of bounds.
- Set AC and account defaut browsing to +1.
- Leave the rest alone.
With this modification to the way our threads get moderated, the trolls, the flames and the useless AC posts that do not get marked up will stay at the bottom and out of sight. I someone chooses to change to -1 viewing that's their choice, and with this they remove their basic argument that the site is filled with trash. This also covers Rob and VA's issues with public (casual visitor) viewing and perceptin of the site, they will see good content, technical discussion and the good side of Slashdot.
Thank you
.
Trollmastah
Sig, I agree with you on that the article had a "poor me" flavor to it, however I did very much like the fact that it also had a positive free speech message. What I read was, there are going to be flames, deal with it, the flames especially here on /. are inevetible and it is what keep slashdot so real.
Goes back to the old mantra, "Dont ask the question, if you really dont want to hear the answer."
Nameless posters - here called Anonymous Cowards - are considered sources as well as equalizers. Barrier-free sites have the freest information flow of any on the Web, and they're sometimes the most informative and newsworthy. The tradeoff is that they're also the most hostile. On some sites, vicious posts get removed and vicious posters eventually ejected. Some provide hosts to steer conversations.
Let's hear it for AC. Jon is on the mark here. For the most part I agree with his thoughts. The one area I differ greatly is that he states
The tradeoff is that they're also the most hostile"
I disagree. Even with all the flames hidden behind the mask of AC, most here are productive and thoughtful, most are trying to respond with a differeing point of view. Although /. can be rough at times, consider the audience, this place has the most intellect of any site on the net, And if you state a comment without forethought , the flames are inevitable. The freedom to post what you feel/think is in no way restricted, if you can handle the falmes of your peers.
Way to go Jon!
TROLLMASTAH IS THE KING!
Come on buddy, you giving all us trolls a bad name.