User: The Altruist

Can't blame it on the stork anymore.

On: NASA Discovers Life's Building Block In Comet

"Mommy, where do babies come from?" "Well, dear, the comets bring them." "Really?" "Yes, like when you were born. A naturally-occurring cataclysmic engine of destruction descended from the sky and destroyed our house and ruined our lives forever." "Really?" "Yes, dear. It's time for you to run along to school. NOW."

Redbull

On: Gardeners Told to Give Exhausted Bees an Energy Drink

It gives you wings. Surgeon General's Warning: May cause unwarranted agitation and aggression in small six-legged flying arthropods destabilizing fragile eco-systems. Please enjoy responsibly.

Re:Stationed in Iraq

On: Blizzard Confirms No LAN Support For Starcraft 2

Then PVPGN is right for you, my friend. BTW, congratulations on Sovereignty Day! Let's hope it lasts!

Security Holes

On: Lexus To Start Spamming Car Buyers In Their Cars

I'm assuming this will work similar to cell-phones. In that case, what keeps Joe Spammer from hacking the technology, sending his own "INCREASE YOUR MANHOOD NOW!" while you're taking your children to school? Something to think about.