Good morning judge,
and your jury too.
I've got a few things
I'd like to say to you.
I'm gonna murder my baby.
Yes, I'm gonna murder my baby.
Yes, I'm gonna murder my baby.
(Judge, I'm telling the truth now.)
'Cuz she don't do nothing but cheat and lie.
(Keeps doing me wrong)
Used to stay at home,
All day long.
But now she's goes out,
and stays all night long.
I'm gonna murder my baby.
Yes, I'm gonna murder my baby.
(She's doing me wrong, judge. I just can't stand it)
I'm gonna murder my baby,
'Cuz she don't do nothing but cheat and lie.
(Yea. I'm gonna kill her tomorrow).
(Spoken) Stayed out all last night.
Think I like that?
No, I just can't stand that.
I'm gonna find her tomorrow.
My heart is weak; I just can't stand it.
Had the police down there last night off the beat,
getting me all out of the bed.
My baby used to have a mind
to treat me right.
But now she goes off,
and stay all night long.
I'm gonna murder my baby,
(She don't do me right)
Yes, I'm gonna murder my baby.
(Stayin out all times of the night)
I'm gonna murder my baby,
cuz she don't do nothing but cheat and lie.
True to his word, Pat Hare did later "murder his baby", along with a police officer. He was arrested and sent to a Minnesota prison for life, where he died in 1980. His jagged, distorted, guitar playing can be heard on many blues classics, including some by Muddy Waters and Howlin' Wolf.
Born Blind You been talkin' about your woman, I sure wish that you cold see mine
You been talkin' about your woman, I sure wish that you cold see mine
Every time the little girl start to lovin', she bring eyesight to the blind
Her daddy must have been a millionaire, cause I can tell by the way she walk
Her daddy must have been a millionaire, cause I can tell by the way she walk
Every time she start to lovin', the deaf and dumb begin to talk
All right... (solo)
I remember one Friday morning the little girl was makin' up her bed,
Man in the next room was dyin', stopped down and held up his head
He said Man, ain't she pretty
And the whole state know she's fine
Every time she start to lovin', she bring eyesight to the blind
Let's go now... (solo)
Fattening Frogs For Snakes
It took me a long time, to find out my mistakes
Took me a long time, to find out my mistakes
(it sho' did man)
But I bet you my bottom dollar, I'm not fattenin' no more frogs for snakes
I found out my downfall, back in nineteen and thirty
(I started checkin')
I found out my downfall, from nineteen and thirty
I'm tellin' all of my friends, I'm not fattenin' no more frogs for snakes
All right now... (solo)
Yeh it is nineteen and fifty-seven, I've got to correct all of my mistakes
Whoa man, nineteen and fifty-seven, I've got to correct all of my mistakes
I'm tellin' my friends includin' my wife and everybody else,
not fattenin' no more frogs for snakes
Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide
Hold up your head, and don't let your conscience get you down
Hold up your head darlin', don't let your conscience get you down
If you never lie to me, I'll always be around
You are the same little woman, was so nice and kind to me in every way
You are the same little woman, was so nice and kind to me in every way
But if you never lie to me, I'll be by your side both night and day
You have a strong constitution, and I'm not gonna let you down
You have a strong constitution, and I'm not gonna let you down
And if you never lie to me darlin', I'll always be around and I won't let you down
Yeah man... (solo)
Lonesome Cabin
In my one room little cabin, just me and my little girl alone
In my one room little cabin, just me and my little girl alone
It makes a man feel so good when she wrap way back in your arms
The little room is so small, I can't even put up no cookin' stove
The little room is so small, till I can't put up no cookin' stove
But you can tell from the weather, it's so cold, so cold outdoors
I could hear it rainin', and see the lightnin' flashin' on my window pane
Could hear it rainin', could hear it rainin', and I could see the lightnin'
flashin' on my window pane
But the little girl lay her head up in my chest and said "I love you, and I'm not ashamed"
Nine Below Zero
Yeah, ain't that a pity, people ain't that a cryin' shame
Ain't that a pity, I declare it's a cryin' shame
She wait till it got nine below zero, and put me down for another man
I give her all my money, all of my lovin' and everything
All of my money, all of my lovin' and everything
It done got nine below zero and she done put me down for another man
Nine below zero, the little girl she done put me down
Nine below zero, the little girl she done put me down
She know I don't have nowhere to stay, and I don't have not one dime
Ninety Nine
Darling you know exactly what happened, last year just about this time
Yes you know exactly what happened, last year just about this time
You asked me for one hundred dollars, and I didn't have but ninety nine
Yes I'm in love with the little girl, just because she's so nice and kind
I'm in love, I'm in love with the little girl, just because she's so nice and kind
I was so sorry when she asked me for one hundred dollars,
I couldn't give her but ninety nine
Yes my baby taken sick on July twenty-nine
Yes the one I love she taken sick on July twenty-nine
Her doctor billed her four hundred dollars,
And I didn't have but three hundred and ninety nine
Santa Claus
My baby went shoppin' yesterday,
said "I'm gonna buy what you need for Santa Claus"
My baby went shoppin' yesterday,
said "I'm gonna buy what you need for Santa Claus
I'm gon' take mine with me,
but I leave yours in my dresser drawer"
So that started me to ramblin',
lookin' in all of my baby's dresser drawers
Whoaw that started me to ramblin',
lookin' all in my baby's dresser drawers
Tryin' to find out,
what did she bought me for Santa Claus
When I pull out the bottom dresser drawer,
the landlady got mad and called the law
When I pull out the bottom dresser drawer,
the landlady got mad and called the law
I was just tryin' to find,
what did she bought me for Santa Claus
The police walked in and tapped me on the shoulder,
"what you're doing with your hand in that woman's dresser drawer?"
And the police was lettin' my baby..
showin' where should I find my Santa Claus
I just kept on pullin' out
all of my baby's dresser drawers
I walked out and left the police and the landlady arguin',
said "look at the man done pull out all the lady's dresser drawers"
Yes I walked out and left the police and the landlady arguin',
said "look at the man done pull out all the lady's dresser drawers"
But he said "I'd like to let 'm show the judge
the boy just tryin' to find his Santa Claus"
Oh yeah
Temperature 110
Nine below zero on the outside,
but I brought my baby's temperature to a hundred and ten
Nine below zero out on the outside,
and I brought my baby's temperature to a hundred and ten
Ever since the little girl put me down for another man
I give 'r all of my money, my lovin' and everything
All of my money, all my lovin' and everything
I brought my baby's temperature up to a hundred and ten,
and she done put me down for another man
Temperature nine below zero on the outside,
I brough my baby's temperature up to a hundred and ten, oh yes I did
Nine below zero,
and I brought my baby's temperature up to a hundred and ten, oh yeah
Ever since then she done put me down for another man
The Key to your Door
It's just one thing baby I'm asking you to do
It's just one little thing baby I'm asking you to do
Please give me back your key to your door
I called the little girl about a quarter after nine
I called the little girl one morning about a quarter after nine
The landlady say "I'm sorry, she's not in at the present time"
(solo)
I called my baby back about fifteen after four
I called my baby back fifteen after four
I said darling, would you please give me back the key to your door?
Gegriffen schon, Herr,
ineinander verkrallt, als wär
der Leib eines jeden von uns
dein Leib, Herr.
Bete, Herr,
bete zu uns,
wir sind nah.
Windschief gingen wir hin,
gingen wir hin, uns zu bücken
nach Mulde und Maar.
Zur Tränke gingen wir, Herr.
Es war Blut, es war,
was du vergossen, Herr.
Es glänzte.
Es warf uns dein Bild in die Augen, Herr.
Augen und Mund stehn so offen und leer, Herr.
Wir haben getrunken, Herr.
Das Blut und das Bild, das im Blut war, Herr.
When a ghost ass-rapes you, he leaves his ghostly jizz inside of you as a marker. For the rest of your life, you will be hunted down and ass-raped by demonic ghosts wherever you go. Over time, you will come to enjoy it, although it will be painful in the short term. The best thing to do is just relax as much as you can. You can speed up your acclimatization by working your anus with a dildo or a broomstick, or simply by having a man fuck you in the ass. Good luck to you.
but he leaves out an entire area of important questions. Namely: what provisions has Apple made for all the people who will want to carry this thing jammed up their asses? Can it stand up to the heat and moisture of the average anal cavity? Is it odor-resistant enough that it won't "catch" that shit smell forever (not that that is necessarily a bad thing)? If I'm walking around with an Ipod jammed up my ass, can I still get in there to attach the Firewire cable without having to remove it? If I have a sudden need to take a shit, can this thing handle being blasted into a toilet bowl along with three or four pounds of soupy feces? I'm sure there are many other anal-related issues here, and I'm a little concerned that neither Apple nor the reviews I've seen so far appear to address them.
is that each of these machines will be equipped with unique serial numbers, bios-level key loggers, and "backdoors" for authorities to access the machines from over the internet. This is a terrifying prospect, of course, and yet another sign of Belgium's slide into fascism.
Jon Katz has been dead for nearly six months. Taco and the rest of the/. fags keep his decomposed corpse around for their sick sexual "games". Everything you've seen recently with a "Jon Katz" tagline was simply plagiarized, either from Arabic and Far Eastern news sources, or AOL home pages.
Which of the following names for the posterior excretory orifice do you prefer?
a) Anus
b) Rectum
c) Sphincter
d) Asshole
e) Browneye
f) Poop Chute
g) Fudge Factory
h) Greek Paradise
i) Fagina
j)___________ (write in)
Feel free to explain, in 500 words or less, the reason for your preference. Please also note if you are a female or a homosexual (we will otherwise daringly assume that respondents are male heterosexuals). If you are female and a homosexual, please post links to pictures of you licking your butch lover's puckered rectum. If you are Jon Katz, please stop sodomizing grief-stricken schoolchildren.
Responses to this survey will be compiled and entered into the Smithsonian's upcoming exhibit on the evolution of the American vernacular. The most-voted upon term will also be used in a humorous anecdote to be submitted to Reader's Digest's "Life in these United States". Should the anecdote be accepted, the prize money will be used to buy innocuous-sounding domain names for the purpose of hosting pictorial depictions of the human anus such as the critically acclaimed Hello.jpg
Thank you for your participation, and for your interest in advancing the cause of scientific inquiry.
I was forced to spend ten years in that despicable hellhole known as Switzerland. I saw things that would make the sickest, most twisted, pervert break down crying: young children brutally raped in the streets while grandmothers cheered on the rapists; people pulling down their pants, shitting on the floor of a bus, and then picking up the shit and smearing it all over themselves and other passengers; a pregnant woman stabbed to death with a pitchfork in a supermarket, after which shoppers took turns pissing and ejaculating on her corpse. These are the events of day to day life in Switzerland, a nation comprised entirely of people so depraved they can hardly be called human.
If it were not for dung beetles, members of the scarab family, every terrestrial organism would be up to its eyeballs in you know what
"Before the sun becomes too hot, they are there in their hundreds, large and small, of every sort, shape and size, hastening to carve themselves a slice of the common cake," is how the 19th-century French entomologist and writer J. Henri Fabre described the feeding frenzy of dung beetles. These industrious insects, reports first-time Smithsonian writer David C. Holzman, bury nearly half a ton of dung per acre per year as food for themselves and their offspring.
They belong to a family with a better-known and far less repulsive name: scarabs, some 7,000 species of which are dung beetles. Dung beetles are naturally present on every continent except Antarctica. "There are beetles that tunnel directly under the pad, dragging dung down with them. These beetles are veritable earthmoving machines," writes Holzman. "Others fashion balls and roll them away from the crowd. Still others simply jump into the dung and chow down."
Dung beetles have evolved to fill all sorts of ecological niches. There are those that roll balls of howler monkey dung off leaves high in the treetops. There are those that specialize in the ordure of sloths, animals that bury their dung. The beetles wait until just the right moment before jumping into the sloth's hole.
Besides clearing the ground, the beetles' activity fertilizes the soil. Using dung beetles more efficiently in agriculture, according to one USDA scientist, could save U.S. farmers up to $2 billion a year by restoring grazing land, recycling the nitrogen that normally is lost to the atmosphere and reducing the populations of bloodsucking flies that stunt the growth of livestock. In Oklahoma, one rancher has counted 11 native species on his land. "Once the cattle have vacated the paddock," he reports, within 48 hours "there is no manure left."
For the ancient Egyptians, the scarab symbolized regeneration and renewal. For modern ranchers, the dung beetle could be just as important.
Abstract of an article by David C. Holzman, originally published in the June 1997 issue of Smithsonian Magazine. All rights reserved.
Babelfished from English to German, and back to English again:
The party wall of DIGITAL DISK a SmoothWall as ISDN/DSLBRANDMAUER a party wall is more than one package filter it a concept: At the singular point of the contact between a local area network and the Internet, a particularly secured system protects the computers behind it against external attacks. SmoothWall promises a free, simply, complete solution for output and business users to install under Linux. The second Glimpse breaks this illusion. The concept pleases: Instead of installing and it adjust later, a standard distribution of Linux, it trimming and above all it protecting, is a particular installations CD enough for converting old PC into a party wall. A front end of the Webs helps Nichtexperten to create and exercise the system. A DSL -, ISDN or Ethernet linking can serve as Internet link above. Important and interesting party wall operates like a Web Proxy (Kalmar), virtual private networking (FreeS/WAN), identification (Snort), package screening and bookkeeping (ipchains) and so on one before-configures. Before the system the 20-cMbyte-cIso-Bild must be first gedownloadet. A CD with these data, which are copied on it, installs fast and troublefree SmoothWall. in the German manual afterwards, which rather unusual channel 81 for integrated web server (445 for those or HTTP option) found, that DRL access beginning fast one agreed upon. It is bare irritating that SmoothWall criticizes an error in the configuration persistent on its starting page, but then specifies none of, where one finds it. This WARNING left, not even after installing all six current modifications at the object program, whose existence informed Smooothwall independently. After the first configuration the party wall does not only step, in addition, the computers behind it had Internet access. The complete process took a little more longer than half hour. The Web interface is a success and activates a simple configuration of the offered services. Admittedly there is, e.g., no option expressly preventing or at the beginning of a Internets Vorwahlknopf in. In such cases and for special desires of the manager box LOGON to the system with a SSH link. Still there is then a fight with the unorthodox organization of the start indices. SmoothWall used the usual SystemV does not concept, with which singular services are begun and to be stopped to be able. It lasted when for discovery, under which confused indices, to the point, in which the DRL link is initialized. Passwords in the termination view of the plain text A of the installation configuration uncovers horrific. Here we have configurations files to hang on the party wall around freely readably and partly writable: The password for the DRL access was in the normal text in an unprotected file, even the secret key for a VPN link was not particularly protected not well-being. Additionally SmoothWall does not use Shadow password, a security characteristic, which is covered in all modern distributions of Linux, those the password file before the direct user access protects and consequently protects themselves against directory, attacks. The PPP Daemon weights in the log file, each start, to imagine over the generous reader-genuine to its password file, hard, that the developers of this missed. Of course, the manager near the system everywhere to be excluded should, thus these problems do not represent anybody not a direct threat. But, the purpose of a party wall is not to protect the system from all Moeglichkeit-und over available protection units out of strength to set. Finally an error in an installed program could like the Web Proxy to the access to the local data of other one finally lead Computer-und easily to increase accessible files with passwords or secret keys the dangers unnecessarily.
Which of the following names for the posterior excretory orifice do you prefer?
a) Anus
b) Rectum
c) Sphincter
d) Asshole
e) Browneye
f) Poop Chute
g) Fudge Factory
h) Greek Paradise
i) Fagina
j)___________ (write in)
Feel free to explain, in 500 words or less, the reason for your preference. Please also note if you are a female or a homosexual (we will otherwise daringly assume that respondents are male heterosexuals). If you are female and a homosexual, please post links to pictures of you licking your butch lover's puckered rectum. If you are Jon Katz, please stop sodomizing grief-stricken schoolchildren.
Responses to this survey will be compiled and entered into the Smithsonian's upcoming exhibit on the evolution of the American vernacular. The most-voted upon term will also be used in a humorous anecdote to be submitted to Reader's Digest's "Life in these United States". Should the anecdote be accepted, the prize money will be used to buy innocuous-sounding domain names for the purpose of hosting pictorial depictions of the human anus such as the critically acclaimed Hello.jpg.
Thank you for your participation, and for your interest in advancing the cause of scientific inquiry.
just what I need: yet another expensive thing to splatter with jizz when I go into one of my eight-times-daily masturbatory frenzies. I just finished weathersealing my computer case; think I'll pass on this for now.
Some idiot threatened to sue some other idiot. People are always bluffing on the internet, and there's especially funny about this particular bluff. There are better legal threats here.
Slashdot Mirror
sucking cocks and felching asses.
as written and performed by Pat Hare
Good morning judge,
and your jury too.
I've got a few things
I'd like to say to you.
I'm gonna murder my baby.
Yes, I'm gonna murder my baby.
Yes, I'm gonna murder my baby.
(Judge, I'm telling the truth now.)
'Cuz she don't do nothing but cheat and lie.
(Keeps doing me wrong)
Used to stay at home,
All day long.
But now she's goes out,
and stays all night long.
I'm gonna murder my baby.
Yes, I'm gonna murder my baby.
(She's doing me wrong, judge. I just can't stand it)
I'm gonna murder my baby,
'Cuz she don't do nothing but cheat and lie.
(Yea. I'm gonna kill her tomorrow).
(Spoken) Stayed out all last night.
Think I like that?
No, I just can't stand that.
I'm gonna find her tomorrow.
My heart is weak; I just can't stand it.
Had the police down there last night off the beat,
getting me all out of the bed.
My baby used to have a mind
to treat me right.
But now she goes off,
and stay all night long.
I'm gonna murder my baby,
(She don't do me right)
Yes, I'm gonna murder my baby.
(Stayin out all times of the night)
I'm gonna murder my baby,
cuz she don't do nothing but cheat and lie.
True to his word, Pat Hare did later "murder his baby", along with a police officer. He was arrested and sent to a Minnesota prison for life, where he died in 1980. His jagged, distorted, guitar playing can be heard on many blues classics, including some by Muddy Waters and Howlin' Wolf.
of Sonny Boy Williamson II (Rice Miller)
Born Blind
You been talkin' about your woman, I sure wish that you cold see mine
You been talkin' about your woman, I sure wish that you cold see mine
Every time the little girl start to lovin', she bring eyesight to the blind
Her daddy must have been a millionaire, cause I can tell by the way she walk
Her daddy must have been a millionaire, cause I can tell by the way she walk
Every time she start to lovin', the deaf and dumb begin to talk
All right... (solo)
I remember one Friday morning the little girl was makin' up her bed,
Man in the next room was dyin', stopped down and held up his head
He said Man, ain't she pretty
And the whole state know she's fine
Every time she start to lovin', she bring eyesight to the blind
Let's go now... (solo)
Fattening Frogs For Snakes
It took me a long time, to find out my mistakes
Took me a long time, to find out my mistakes
(it sho' did man)
But I bet you my bottom dollar, I'm not fattenin' no more frogs for snakes
I found out my downfall, back in nineteen and thirty
(I started checkin')
I found out my downfall, from nineteen and thirty
I'm tellin' all of my friends, I'm not fattenin' no more frogs for snakes
All right now... (solo)
Yeh it is nineteen and fifty-seven, I've got to correct all of my mistakes
Whoa man, nineteen and fifty-seven, I've got to correct all of my mistakes
I'm tellin' my friends includin' my wife and everybody else,
not fattenin' no more frogs for snakes
Let Your Conscience Be Your Guide
Hold up your head, and don't let your conscience get you down
Hold up your head darlin', don't let your conscience get you down
If you never lie to me, I'll always be around
You are the same little woman, was so nice and kind to me in every way
You are the same little woman, was so nice and kind to me in every way
But if you never lie to me, I'll be by your side both night and day
You have a strong constitution, and I'm not gonna let you down
You have a strong constitution, and I'm not gonna let you down
And if you never lie to me darlin', I'll always be around and I won't let you down
Yeah man... (solo)
Lonesome Cabin
In my one room little cabin, just me and my little girl alone
In my one room little cabin, just me and my little girl alone
It makes a man feel so good when she wrap way back in your arms
The little room is so small, I can't even put up no cookin' stove
The little room is so small, till I can't put up no cookin' stove
But you can tell from the weather, it's so cold, so cold outdoors
I could hear it rainin', and see the lightnin' flashin' on my window pane
Could hear it rainin', could hear it rainin', and I could see the lightnin'
flashin' on my window pane
But the little girl lay her head up in my chest and said "I love you, and I'm not ashamed"
Nine Below Zero
Yeah, ain't that a pity, people ain't that a cryin' shame
Ain't that a pity, I declare it's a cryin' shame
She wait till it got nine below zero, and put me down for another man
I give her all my money, all of my lovin' and everything
All of my money, all of my lovin' and everything
It done got nine below zero and she done put me down for another man
Nine below zero, the little girl she done put me down
Nine below zero, the little girl she done put me down
She know I don't have nowhere to stay, and I don't have not one dime
Ninety Nine
Darling you know exactly what happened, last year just about this time
Yes you know exactly what happened, last year just about this time
You asked me for one hundred dollars, and I didn't have but ninety nine
Yes I'm in love with the little girl, just because she's so nice and kind
I'm in love, I'm in love with the little girl, just because she's so nice and kind
I was so sorry when she asked me for one hundred dollars,
I couldn't give her but ninety nine
Yes my baby taken sick on July twenty-nine
Yes the one I love she taken sick on July twenty-nine
Her doctor billed her four hundred dollars,
And I didn't have but three hundred and ninety nine
Santa Claus
My baby went shoppin' yesterday,
said "I'm gonna buy what you need for Santa Claus"
My baby went shoppin' yesterday,
said "I'm gonna buy what you need for Santa Claus
I'm gon' take mine with me,
but I leave yours in my dresser drawer"
So that started me to ramblin',
lookin' in all of my baby's dresser drawers
Whoaw that started me to ramblin',
lookin' all in my baby's dresser drawers
Tryin' to find out,
what did she bought me for Santa Claus
When I pull out the bottom dresser drawer,
the landlady got mad and called the law
When I pull out the bottom dresser drawer,
the landlady got mad and called the law
I was just tryin' to find,
what did she bought me for Santa Claus
The police walked in and tapped me on the shoulder,
"what you're doing with your hand in that woman's dresser drawer?"
And the police was lettin' my baby..
showin' where should I find my Santa Claus
I just kept on pullin' out
all of my baby's dresser drawers
I walked out and left the police and the landlady arguin',
said "look at the man done pull out all the lady's dresser drawers"
Yes I walked out and left the police and the landlady arguin',
said "look at the man done pull out all the lady's dresser drawers"
But he said "I'd like to let 'm show the judge
the boy just tryin' to find his Santa Claus"
Oh yeah
Temperature 110
Nine below zero on the outside,
but I brought my baby's temperature to a hundred and ten
Nine below zero out on the outside,
and I brought my baby's temperature to a hundred and ten
Ever since the little girl put me down for another man
I give 'r all of my money, my lovin' and everything
All of my money, all my lovin' and everything
I brought my baby's temperature up to a hundred and ten,
and she done put me down for another man
Temperature nine below zero on the outside,
I brough my baby's temperature up to a hundred and ten, oh yes I did
Nine below zero,
and I brought my baby's temperature up to a hundred and ten, oh yeah
Ever since then she done put me down for another man
The Key to your Door
It's just one thing baby I'm asking you to do
It's just one little thing baby I'm asking you to do
Please give me back your key to your door
I called the little girl about a quarter after nine
I called the little girl one morning about a quarter after nine
The landlady say "I'm sorry, she's not in at the present time"
(solo)
I called my baby back about fifteen after four
I called my baby back fifteen after four
I said darling, would you please give me back the key to your door?
Nah sind wir, Herr,
nahe und greifbar.
Gegriffen schon, Herr,
ineinander verkrallt, als wär
der Leib eines jeden von uns
dein Leib, Herr.
Bete, Herr,
bete zu uns,
wir sind nah.
Windschief gingen wir hin,
gingen wir hin, uns zu bücken
nach Mulde und Maar.
Zur Tränke gingen wir, Herr.
Es war Blut, es war,
was du vergossen, Herr.
Es glänzte.
Es warf uns dein Bild in die Augen, Herr.
Augen und Mund stehn so offen und leer, Herr.
Wir haben getrunken, Herr.
Das Blut und das Bild, das im Blut war, Herr.
Bete, Herr.
Wir sind nah.
"You sent the attachment in Microsoft Word format, a secret proprietary format, so I cannot read it."
hahahahhahaha!
That is unfortunate for them, because software exists only to be studied, changed, copied, and redistributed.
putting an end to RMS.
When a ghost ass-rapes you, he leaves his ghostly jizz inside of you as a marker. For the rest of your life, you will be hunted down and ass-raped by demonic ghosts wherever you go. Over time, you will come to enjoy it, although it will be painful in the short term. The best thing to do is just relax as much as you can. You can speed up your acclimatization by working your anus with a dildo or a broomstick, or simply by having a man fuck you in the ass. Good luck to you.
What's up with the "63" in there?
but he leaves out an entire area of important questions. Namely: what provisions has Apple made for all the people who will want to carry this thing jammed up their asses? Can it stand up to the heat and moisture of the average anal cavity? Is it odor-resistant enough that it won't "catch" that shit smell forever (not that that is necessarily a bad thing)? If I'm walking around with an Ipod jammed up my ass, can I still get in there to attach the Firewire cable without having to remove it? If I have a sudden need to take a shit, can this thing handle being blasted into a toilet bowl along with three or four pounds of soupy feces? I'm sure there are many other anal-related issues here, and I'm a little concerned that neither Apple nor the reviews I've seen so far appear to address them.
is that each of these machines will be equipped with unique serial numbers, bios-level key loggers, and "backdoors" for authorities to access the machines from over the internet. This is a terrifying prospect, of course, and yet another sign of Belgium's slide into fascism.
This chick is SMOKIN', and she wants YOU **NOW**! Use uudecode to check her out!!!
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One less shitty tv show to watch :(
Jon Katz has been dead for nearly six months. Taco and the rest of the /. fags keep his decomposed corpse around for their sick sexual "games". Everything you've seen recently with a "Jon Katz" tagline was simply plagiarized, either from Arabic and Far Eastern news sources, or AOL home pages.
Hey. Do you know how to make "street meth" from decongestant tablets? Can you put up a little guide if you get the chance? Thanks.
a mountain of a first post.
Which of the following names for the posterior excretory orifice do you prefer?
a) Anus
b) Rectum
c) Sphincter
d) Asshole
e) Browneye
f) Poop Chute
g) Fudge Factory
h) Greek Paradise
i) Fagina
j)___________ (write in)
Feel free to explain, in 500 words or less, the reason for your preference. Please also note if you are a female or a homosexual (we will otherwise daringly assume that respondents are male heterosexuals). If you are female and a homosexual, please post links to pictures of you licking your butch lover's puckered rectum. If you are Jon Katz, please stop sodomizing grief-stricken schoolchildren.
Responses to this survey will be compiled and entered into the Smithsonian's upcoming exhibit on the evolution of the American vernacular. The most-voted upon term will also be used in a humorous anecdote to be submitted to Reader's Digest's "Life in these United States". Should the anecdote be accepted, the prize money will be used to buy innocuous-sounding domain names for the purpose of hosting pictorial depictions of the human anus such as the critically acclaimed Hello.jpg
Thank you for your participation, and for your interest in advancing the cause of scientific inquiry.
I was forced to spend ten years in that despicable hellhole known as Switzerland. I saw things that would make the sickest, most twisted, pervert break down crying: young children brutally raped in the streets while grandmothers cheered on the rapists; people pulling down their pants, shitting on the floor of a bus, and then picking up the shit and smearing it all over themselves and other passengers; a pregnant woman stabbed to death with a pitchfork in a supermarket, after which shoppers took turns pissing and ejaculating on her corpse. These are the events of day to day life in Switzerland, a nation comprised entirely of people so depraved they can hardly be called human.
for all of us.
If it were not for dung beetles, members of the scarab family, every terrestrial organism would be up to its eyeballs in you know what
"Before the sun becomes too hot, they are there in their hundreds, large and small, of every sort, shape and size, hastening to carve themselves a slice of the common cake," is how the 19th-century French entomologist and writer J. Henri Fabre described the feeding frenzy of dung beetles. These industrious insects, reports first-time Smithsonian writer David C. Holzman, bury nearly half a ton of dung per acre per year as food for themselves and their offspring.
They belong to a family with a better-known and far less repulsive name: scarabs, some 7,000 species of which are dung beetles. Dung beetles are naturally present on every continent except Antarctica. "There are beetles that tunnel directly under the pad, dragging dung down with them. These beetles are veritable earthmoving machines," writes Holzman. "Others fashion balls and roll them away from the crowd. Still others simply jump into the dung and chow down."
Dung beetles have evolved to fill all sorts of ecological niches. There are those that roll balls of howler monkey dung off leaves high in the treetops. There are those that specialize in the ordure of sloths, animals that bury their dung. The beetles wait until just the right moment before jumping into the sloth's hole.
Besides clearing the ground, the beetles' activity fertilizes the soil. Using dung beetles more efficiently in agriculture, according to one USDA scientist, could save U.S. farmers up to $2 billion a year by restoring grazing land, recycling the nitrogen that normally is lost to the atmosphere and reducing the populations of bloodsucking flies that stunt the growth of livestock. In Oklahoma, one rancher has counted 11 native species on his land. "Once the cattle have vacated the paddock," he reports, within 48 hours "there is no manure left."
For the ancient Egyptians, the scarab symbolized regeneration and renewal. For modern ranchers, the dung beetle could be just as important.
Abstract of an article by David C. Holzman, originally published in the June 1997 issue of Smithsonian Magazine. All rights reserved.
Babelfished from English to German, and back to English again:
/DSLBRANDMAUER a party wall is more than one package filter it a concept: At the singular point of the contact between a local area network and the Internet, a particularly secured system protects the computers behind it against external attacks. SmoothWall promises a free, simply, complete solution for output and business users to install under Linux. The second Glimpse breaks this illusion. The concept pleases: Instead of installing and it adjust later, a standard distribution of Linux, it trimming and above all it protecting, is a particular installations CD enough for converting old PC into a party wall. A front end of the Webs helps Nichtexperten to create and exercise the system. A DSL -, ISDN or Ethernet linking can serve as Internet link above. Important and interesting party wall operates like a Web Proxy (Kalmar), virtual private networking (FreeS/WAN), identification (Snort), package screening and bookkeeping (ipchains) and so on one before-configures. Before the system the 20-cMbyte-cIso-Bild must be first gedownloadet. A CD with these data, which are copied on it, installs fast and troublefree SmoothWall. in the German manual afterwards, which rather unusual channel 81 for integrated web server (445 for those or HTTP option) found, that DRL access beginning fast one agreed upon. It is bare irritating that SmoothWall criticizes an error in the configuration persistent on its starting page, but then specifies none of, where one finds it. This WARNING left, not even after installing all six current modifications at the object program, whose existence informed Smooothwall independently. After the first configuration the party wall does not only step, in addition, the computers behind it had Internet access. The complete process took a little more longer than half hour. The Web interface is a success and activates a simple configuration of the offered services. Admittedly there is, e.g., no option expressly preventing or at the beginning of a Internets Vorwahlknopf in. In such cases and for special desires of the manager box LOGON to the system with a SSH link. Still there is then a fight with the unorthodox organization of the start indices. SmoothWall used the usual SystemV does not concept, with which singular services are begun and to be stopped to be able. It lasted when for discovery, under which confused indices, to the point, in which the DRL link is initialized. Passwords in the termination view of the plain text A of the installation configuration uncovers horrific. Here we have configurations files to hang on the party wall around freely readably and partly writable: The password for the DRL access was in the normal text in an unprotected file, even the secret key for a VPN link was not particularly protected not well-being. Additionally SmoothWall does not use Shadow password, a security characteristic, which is covered in all modern distributions of Linux, those the password file before the direct user access protects and consequently protects themselves against directory, attacks. The PPP Daemon weights in the log file, each start, to imagine over the generous reader-genuine to its password file, hard, that the developers of this missed. Of course, the manager near the system everywhere to be excluded should, thus these problems do not represent anybody not a direct threat. But, the purpose of a party wall is not to protect the system from all Moeglichkeit-und over available protection units out of strength to set. Finally an error in an installed program could like the Web Proxy to the access to the local data of other one finally lead Computer-und easily to increase accessible files with passwords or secret keys the dangers unnecessarily.
The party wall of DIGITAL DISK a SmoothWall as ISDN
Which of the following names for the posterior excretory orifice do you prefer?
a) Anus
b) Rectum
c) Sphincter
d) Asshole
e) Browneye
f) Poop Chute
g) Fudge Factory
h) Greek Paradise
i) Fagina
j)___________ (write in)
Feel free to explain, in 500 words or less, the reason for your preference. Please also note if you are a female or a homosexual (we will otherwise daringly assume that respondents are male heterosexuals). If you are female and a homosexual, please post links to pictures of you licking your butch lover's puckered rectum. If you are Jon Katz, please stop sodomizing grief-stricken schoolchildren.
Responses to this survey will be compiled and entered into the Smithsonian's upcoming exhibit on the evolution of the American vernacular. The most-voted upon term will also be used in a humorous anecdote to be submitted to Reader's Digest's "Life in these United States". Should the anecdote be accepted, the prize money will be used to buy innocuous-sounding domain names for the purpose of hosting pictorial depictions of the human anus such as the critically acclaimed Hello.jpg.
Thank you for your participation, and for your interest in advancing the cause of scientific inquiry.
just what I need: yet another expensive thing to splatter with jizz when I go into one of my eight-times-daily masturbatory frenzies. I just finished weathersealing my computer case; think I'll pass on this for now.
Some idiot threatened to sue some other idiot. People are always bluffing on the internet, and there's especially funny about this particular bluff. There are better legal threats here.
post right up your ass.
sweet, sweet, Doubleclick. After all the good you have done for the world, I had thought you would live forever. There is no justice.