Of course, each $4.99 monthly payment would give me access to download the next two high quality non-DRMed episodes in addition to mailing me a physical DVD (or $3.99 if I agree not to download the episodes and wait for the mail). And please, no bogus $3.95 charge for shipping and handling.
I've been wanting this for years. It makes sense, gives value to the customer and increases profits by cutting out the middle man (networks, cable, satellite), exactly why it won't happen.
Oh but I did quote it, you just twisted my words and continued insulting me so you could prop up your lie.
I know why you did it, and I understand it. But just because you're in pain doesn't give you the right to treat others with disrespect.
So let me recap:
I tell the truth about my sexual practices and opportunities. You accuse me of lying. You hurl insults at me, engage in personal attacks and then lie about it. When I call you out on it, you accuse me of lying.
Sorry, the only one here lying is you. I will *NOT* apologize for an action I did not take.
Like I said, I have never lied to you, I have no reason to. Like I predicted, you do not believe me. Please see my comments in the other thread regarding your actions, I will not repeat them here.
You did not destroy me SIIHP. What you did do was awaken me to your cries for help.
Despite what you think, I'm not stupid. I know the entire point of your anger, attacks and insults was to "destroy" me. To do this, you need to get me so angry that I attack and insult you back. Yet were I to do this, you would begin twisting everything we wrote and make yourself look like the injured party. In doing so you would claim to have the superior moral position, and proclaim you destroyed the "bad guy".
What you didn't count on is encountering someone who used to be in the kind of pain you're feeling now, who used the same tricks you're using now. You certainly didn't count on them recognizing the tricks and calling you out on them. Now, you don't know what to do.
I can't make you feel better, but I might be able to help you realize and vocalize your pain which will hopefully give you the necessary courage to seek a more professional helper. I also know you don't want this right now and I obviously won't give you the reaction you want, yet you still keep coming back looking for it.
We both know that I am right. You're just in such pain right now, you don't want to see it. It's okay SIIHP, I understand why you need to have your lies treated as the truth.
Nothing you say can or will ever change the fact that insulting me by saying I am stupid, dumb and a moron when I had *not* once treated you so disrespectfully *does* constitute a personal attack.
You simply twisted my words and resorted to childish semantics so you could lie about *NOT* saying any of those things. You needed to do this hoping I would call you out for it, allowing you to the take the moral high-road in accusing me of the action you yourself had just perpetrated.
I know you're just doing this because you're in pain and need to feel as if you have *some* control over your life. You want me to hate you since a bitter argument will help bolster your protective illusions. I'm sorry, but I don't hate you and I'm not going to do that.
This is impressive, I'll go read the rest of the site later.
But I wonder, could they make a version that will run on my HD-PVR?
If they could get it going real-time, it just might be the answer to getting rid of the obnoxious station logos. Sure it would be fuzzy, but it'd be much better than staring at the ridiculously large "CW" logo when I'm trying to watch Smallville.
It's okay that you blame me for your pain. If it helps you come to terms with the evil thing that has happened to you, then I am truly glad I could help.
I also understand your anger, threats of physical violence and the urgent need to win. You desperately need to feel good about yourself right now. You *need* me to be the "bad guy". I fully understand this desire to feel better about yourself. By crafting a careful illusion that I was nothing more than a stupid lying moron, it gave you permission to attack and insult me while accusing me of untruths.
You're angry with yourself because despite your best efforts, I didn't behave like someone who'd been the target of unprovoked attacks, I remained civil and reasonable. Then once I started attacking your carefully crafted illusions, you not only had to face the consequences of your own hurtful actions, but the horrible memories you don't want to face right now.
Even now, like before, I have never once lied to you SIIHP. And even now, like before, I know you won't believe me.
You will twist my words, insist that I am lying, and continue your attempts to enrage me, just so I can be as angry as you are. It's okay SIIHP, they're only words. I'm a big boy, I can take it.
I won't get angry or lie to you SIIHP. I have no reason to lie and I have no reason to be angry. What I won't do is help feed your illusions. I too have been down this path of anger, despair and hatred of others. I know from experience that helping maintain your illusions only feeds into the downward spiral, I won't do that. What I will do is offer my sincere and humble apologies for not being the angry uncivil person you *need* me to be.
I understand why you have to lie. I understand why you feel the need to attack and call me names and then lie about it. Your actions surely help reinforce the careful illusion you've built to keep from feeling the pain you *must* be feeling.
Had I understood the pain you were going through, I would never have confronted your lie and personal attacks so harshly. I would have continued to you let you maintain your protective fantasy of being a respectful, truthful individual.
I am truly sorry if I have made you confront painful memories you would rather not have to remember right now.
SIIHP, please ignore my original reply to this comment and accept my heartfelt apologies.
Had I read your comment in the other thread before this one, I would have realized the pain and anguish you must be feeling and would never have continued this spirited debate with you.
What you need right now is help and healing, not more conflict.
I can understand if you don't want to talk about the atrocious event that is causing your pain; you're obviously not ready for it. I too have felt pain and loss, I can understand it must be very hard for you to deal with this.
SIIHP, it's alright that you keep attacking me. I know you're not angry with me, you're angry with the world. You're hurting so much right now, you want everyone else to feel just as bad as you do.
I can understand why you don't want to trust anyone right now. That it's simply easier to make up stories about others, because then you can point to them and say your problem isn't so bad in comparison. Please, take my honest heartfelt advice and go talk to a professional counselor. Venting your rage like this isn't healthy and could cause future physical and psychological trauma.
I don't say these things to hurt you SIIHP. I say these things because I would hate to see your sharp mind and wit be destroyed by the intense sadness, pain and anger you must be feeling. Not dealing with it will only lead to you becoming what you try to make others out to be. I know talking to a counselor is a scary thing for many people, so I will not think less of you if you don't feel comfortable talking to one.
Until you do, you are welcome to continue yelling and hurling insults at me. I promise not to judge you or attack you.
"Neither did I. I got my point across without any of that, but you continued to argue the same stupid points, so I gave up and descended to your level."
I have never attacked you. You had no reason to "descend" to my level as I have never *ONCE* called you stupid, dumb or moronic.
Even now you lie, while continuing to attack me as though I were the one who was lying. Your points became worthless the moment you ceased to defend them by resorting to attacks, childhood name calling and lies.
It's a shame you feel so threatened by me that you no longer wish to have a rational conversation. Too bad, I was really enjoying it too.
Just when I thought misdirection was the only trick you had, you decided to add lying to your repertoire. Or have I so utterly destroyed your argument, you have to convince yourself that calling me dumb, stupid and a moron on numerous occasions does not constitute a personal attack?
Your attempts at misdirection in a futile effort to make it look like I'm lying are utterly hilarious.
The gross assumptions and personal attacks you keep making certainly have provided some interesting reading. Either way, it's been fun; watching as you try to convince yourself that just because I didn't make the same choices you would have, I must somehow be lying.
I don't know if you actually believe what you're saying, or if you're just some kind of clever troll looking to elicit a reaction. Having said that, I know I shouldn't keep feeding you, but I will, if only to spend more time laughing.
Woah, what's with all the hostility? I thought we were having a nice spirited conversation here?
I'm not afraid to admit I have arguably legitimate fears when it comes to casual sex, if that makes me a profound coward, so be it. But I'm not the one that's had to resort to name calling, personal attacks and baseless assumptions to get their point across.
You're free to continue living your life as you deem fit. I don't think you're a coward because you take "reasonable" precautions to prevent statistically tiny risks. In fact I applaud the choices you've made to take "reasonable" precautions. If anything, our conversation has shown our definition of "reasonable" to be different, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Despite our differences, I think we would both agree we're more concerned with people having safe sex rather than no sex at all.
Every action in life has "statistically tiny risks" associated with them. For most people engaged in those actions the risks are a mere afterthought because they happen so rarely. Hell, I broke my foot walking a dog and it wasn't even my dog. Doesn't mean I still don't take dogs out for walks when I'm asked to take care of them.
Despite what you think, I did not change the argument. You just failed to see the point I was trying to make. For most people, there are some "statistically tiny risks" people won't willingly subject themselves to, regardless of the improbability of their occurrence.
In the case of the original poster, they had a concern regarding STDs. When you think about the lifelong consequences, all of them negative, calling the original poster a coward because they don't share the same risk tolerance you do was way out of line.
Also, I don't appreciate being called "dumb" just because you failed to grasp my comment regarding my niece had nothing to do with the overall theme of sex in this article but was instead directed squarely to your comment of "You can be afraid of statistically tiny risks if you want, the rest of us aren't possessed by profound cowardice." I seriously doubt you could justify letting a three year old go to the park unsupervised, even with the "statistically tiny risks" involved.
But I guess we should keep this conversation about sex, since that's what the article is about.
Since it's been established all throughout this article and can be confirmed with some simple Google searches, the statistical chances of receiving an STD and/or getting the girl pregnant from unprotected sex are statistically tiny. Do you go "dipping unprotected in a bar slut" or do you wear a condom? If you do, doesn't that, by your own definition make you a coward too?
Nice assumption you've got going there. Since I've considered the pros and cons to make an informed choice and not have random sex, it must somehow mean I haven't had ample opportunity to do so?
Of course, you'd be wrong. I don't feel like reiterating my reasons for being personally and socially responsible, you can go back and re-read what I wrote.
Still, despite all this spirited debate and knowing I've made the right choices for myself, in some ways I do envy you. A fair number of the ladies I've turned down over the years, while I wasn't the least bit attracted to them personally and wouldn't consider raising a child with them, they were physically very attractive. Sometimes I wish I could have been able to relax, ignore the responsibilities that come with physical intimacy, and just enjoy some of that random sex once in a while.
Ummm, where exactly did I mention I was "choosing" not to get laid.
I believe I was clear in stating I would be more receptive to the idea of random sex, assuming there were a 100% foolproof method of not getting the woman pregnant. I'm not worried about the STD part, with the proper use of protection methods your chances of catching one are low. Should you luck out and manage to catch one, it will likely be a minor one that has a cure and if not, will probably at least be manageable.
Pregnancy, which I also agree is statistically low, unfortunately can't be handled like an STD. You can't force a woman into an abortion, nor can you force her to put the child up for adoption (honestly, I don't know if *I* could handle knowing I had a kid and wasn't a part of it's life).
Let me make this perfectly clear. I am a big believer in people having sex before marriage. It's important that couples find out if they're sexually compatible before they commit themselves to each other. That being said, protection methods aren't 100% effective and before I potentially take on the immense lifelong responsibility of raising a child, I'm going to make sure it's with someone I actually want to share that responsibility with.
You can be afraid of statistically tiny risks if you want, the rest of us aren't possessed by profound cowardice.
It's a statistically tiny risk for children to be abducted, doesn't mean I'm going to let my three year old niece go to the park by herself. Does that make me a coward too?
It's true I could end up like Christopher Reeve should I take up extreme mountain biking. It's a long shot but it is a shot. Yet should it happen to me it affects only my life.
Having random sex on the other hand has the potential to affect three lives, myself, the woman and the potential child that could come out of it. I don't mind risking my own life, hell I do that everyday just going to work; you are far more likely to die in an auto accident than getting a girl pregnant when using more than one form of birth control.
But when it comes to risking other people's lives, and then having to live with and provide for those lives for at least 20 years; I think it makes sense to be more cautious about choosing ones partners.
I know and understand that statistically my chances of catching anything are lower than most other activities. If someone could come up with a sterilization technique that was reversible 100% of the time so I could get my freak on without worrying about pregnancy, but reverse it when I want to have kids, then yes I probably would have sex with a random partner.
I'm not risk averse when I'm staking no one's life but my own. But as long as there is even a small chance I'm going to get tied to two other people for life just because I wanted to feel good for an hour or so, I'm going to be a bit more choosy about who I have sex with.
Meeting women is mind numbingly easy. They make up around half the population so simply going outside gives you a good chance of meeting a woman. Meeting attractive women is harder, but not that hard.
The problem is meeting an attractive woman that you find yourself irresistibly attracted to. That's really hard.
I'm not talking about the "man, she's hot I gotta fuck her" attraction, everyone gets that. I'm talking that feeling you get in your gut, where everything inside of you is screaming, "I have *GOT* to get to know this girl!", and when you talk to her it's so incredibly easy. No pretenses, no false bravado; you just feel so relaxed and comfortable around her.
Meeting a woman where you have that kind of attraction is really *really* hard.
Getting that girl to find you just as irresistibly attractive as you find her, it's damn near impossible.
In my life, I've met a grand total of 9 women who would fit in the irresistible attraction category and in all but one of them, they were already married or about to become married. The one who wasn't taken; I was completely shocked to find that she was just as attracted in me as I was in her. Despite this mutual attraction, our common interests and the ease with which we got along, it ultimately didn't work out as she thought I was younger and I thought she was older. Shocked the hell out of both of us when we finally figured out she was 17 (she definitely did not look or act it) and I was 30. At least we both found out before I worked up the guts to ask her out, although a part of me wants to wait until she's 25 (she's 20 now) and ask her out anyways.;-)
The point of my story?
Even though it didn't completely work out as I had hoped, in my 33 years I have managed to find at least one woman who found me as attractive as I found her. If there's one, there has to be others. I'm not giving up yet, and I don't think you should either. It might take me a while, but I'm certain I'll be able to find someone who's as into me as I am them.
Nothing like avoiding the good things in life because you're afraid of the minuscule possibility that something might happen.
For most things I would agree with you. If I take up extreme mountain biking and break a few bones, worst that would happen is a few months in traction, some time in rehab and a limp or sore back for the rest of my life. Annoying sure, but not so bad considering.
Sex though is very different. I don't care how many creams, jellies, foams and extra thick condoms I'm wearing, it only takes one sperm cell to get through. If it does get through and it's that one in a million shot that gets some random girl pregnant, I'm now a father for life. Even if she turns out to be a complete nut job I end up wanting nothing to do with; if she decides to keep the baby, I will have a financial and emotional responsibility to not only her, but also my child, for the remainder of my life.
To make matters worse, because you have a child from this "minuscule possibility" it severely limits your abilities to begin another relationship. Few people want to get involved with someone who has young children. Between the crazy ex-wife or one night stand and the kid who hates the new girlfriend because she's standing between "mommy and daddy getting back together", few self respecting women will put up with it.
So not only do you have to worry about having a kid, you also have to worry about limiting your relationship options for at least 18-20 years.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm no prude. I fully expect to "try before I buy" when it comes to sex as I think it's vitally important a couple know if they are sexually compatible before they get married. But before I get to the sex, I'm going to make damn certain I know, love and respect her enough that even should we not work out as a couple, she would still be someone I could see myself raising a child with.
I see this all the time with idiot cashiers who can't make change, and have to look up what the correct change is for something that costs $19.27 after I give them $20.02.
Not everyone is capable of simple math you know. I had to put that into a calculator to figure out the 0.75 answer.
I've tried flash cards, memorization tricks, practice problem after practice problem. I just can't do simple math in my head. When I was a kid I wanted nothing more than to be an astronaut. I studied hard and got excellent grades in the science and computer technology courses, but my math marks, while also excellent, were tainted by the fact I couldn't do simple math in my head.
I was one of those kids who needed extra time on a math test. You know the type, you're stuck in a room with reams of paper and the teachers give you all the time you need to finish it. While I did get most of the answers right, it took me many hours to do so as I had to figure everything out by hand. Stacks and stacks of paper were filled with multiplication and division tables.
It really killed my dreams of being an astronaut after I realized that when you're flying in a craft going 25 times the speed of sound, you don't have time to break out the paper and start doing it by hand.
So before you go thinking the checkout girl at the counter is an "idiot" because she can't figure out 20.02 - 19.27 = 0.75 in her head, just try and remember that not everyone has an easy time with simple math.
Part of me wants to believe that the whole Chocolate Milk thing was staged. But another part of me just knows it was real. What saddens me is that the parent would not only let their child hurl obscenities at them without any kind of consequences, but that they were an active participant in it.
As I watched I kept expecting the video to just cut out, but amazingly it kept going. I kept thinking, "Oh my, he's called her a bitch, she's going to turn it off." "What the hell, he said mother fracker, here comes the slap." but nothing. I simply can't believe the mother would show such a lack of parenting skill. All she had to do was walk over and push the big green button on the X-Box and turn the damned thing off.
And the swearing, wow, if I'd even dared to call my parents the tiniest fraction of what that kid said, I'd have been forcibly disconnected from the console and been gargling Palmolive.
As for the second one:
I have to admit, I did that whiny "puhleazeeee" thing once when I was a kid. Hey, I'd like to see you spend all day getting to the final level on Super Mario 3 only to be told it was time to get off, and there's no damn save game possible! While I didn't get all super whiny like this kid did, I did make fair bit of an noise about it.
Well, that was right up until my dad put his fingers near the power button. Right then I knew I wasn't going to win the argument and begged my parents to leave the console on all night so I could finish it after school the next day. Just my luck, but we had a nasty thunderstorm that night and the power went out. So when I got home from school the next day, not only was the screen doing that flashing two shades of grey "cartridge not inserted correctly" thing, but nothing I did was ever able get that cartridge to work again.
Oh well, I hear you can play SMB3 on the Wii now. So once I can actually find one, I just might take the time to try and finish this time.;-)
Slashdot Mirror
I'd pay it.
Of course, each $4.99 monthly payment would give me access to download the next two high quality non-DRMed episodes in addition to mailing me a physical DVD (or $3.99 if I agree not to download the episodes and wait for the mail). And please, no bogus $3.95 charge for shipping and handling.
I've been wanting this for years. It makes sense, gives value to the customer and increases profits by cutting out the middle man (networks, cable, satellite), exactly why it won't happen.
Oh but I did quote it, you just twisted my words and continued insulting me so you could prop up your lie.
I know why you did it, and I understand it. But just because you're in pain doesn't give you the right to treat others with disrespect.
So let me recap:
I tell the truth about my sexual practices and opportunities. You accuse me of lying.
You hurl insults at me, engage in personal attacks and then lie about it. When I call you out on it, you accuse me of lying.
Sorry, the only one here lying is you. I will *NOT* apologize for an action I did not take.
SIIHP,
Like I said, I have never lied to you, I have no reason to. Like I predicted, you do not believe me. Please see my comments in the other thread regarding your actions, I will not repeat them here.
You did not destroy me SIIHP. What you did do was awaken me to your cries for help.
Despite what you think, I'm not stupid. I know the entire point of your anger, attacks and insults was to "destroy" me. To do this, you need to get me so angry that I attack and insult you back. Yet were I to do this, you would begin twisting everything we wrote and make yourself look like the injured party. In doing so you would claim to have the superior moral position, and proclaim you destroyed the "bad guy".
What you didn't count on is encountering someone who used to be in the kind of pain you're feeling now, who used the same tricks you're using now. You certainly didn't count on them recognizing the tricks and calling you out on them. Now, you don't know what to do.
I can't make you feel better, but I might be able to help you realize and vocalize your pain which will hopefully give you the necessary courage to seek a more professional helper. I also know you don't want this right now and I obviously won't give you the reaction you want, yet you still keep coming back looking for it.
Oh SIIHP,
We both know that I am right. You're just in such pain right now, you don't want to see it. It's okay SIIHP, I understand why you need to have your lies treated as the truth.
Nothing you say can or will ever change the fact that insulting me by saying I am stupid, dumb and a moron when I had *not* once treated you so disrespectfully *does* constitute a personal attack.
You simply twisted my words and resorted to childish semantics so you could lie about *NOT* saying any of those things. You needed to do this hoping I would call you out for it, allowing you to the take the moral high-road in accusing me of the action you yourself had just perpetrated.
I know you're just doing this because you're in pain and need to feel as if you have *some* control over your life. You want me to hate you since a bitter argument will help bolster your protective illusions. I'm sorry, but I don't hate you and I'm not going to do that.
This is impressive, I'll go read the rest of the site later.
But I wonder, could they make a version that will run on my HD-PVR?
If they could get it going real-time, it just might be the answer to getting rid of the obnoxious station logos. Sure it would be fuzzy, but it'd be much better than staring at the ridiculously large "CW" logo when I'm trying to watch Smallville.
SIIHP,
It's okay that you blame me for your pain. If it helps you come to terms with the evil thing that has happened to you, then I am truly glad I could help.
I also understand your anger, threats of physical violence and the urgent need to win. You desperately need to feel good about yourself right now. You *need* me to be the "bad guy". I fully understand this desire to feel better about yourself. By crafting a careful illusion that I was nothing more than a stupid lying moron, it gave you permission to attack and insult me while accusing me of untruths.
You're angry with yourself because despite your best efforts, I didn't behave like someone who'd been the target of unprovoked attacks, I remained civil and reasonable. Then once I started attacking your carefully crafted illusions, you not only had to face the consequences of your own hurtful actions, but the horrible memories you don't want to face right now.
Even now, like before, I have never once lied to you SIIHP. And even now, like before, I know you won't believe me.
You will twist my words, insist that I am lying, and continue your attempts to enrage me, just so I can be as angry as you are. It's okay SIIHP, they're only words. I'm a big boy, I can take it.
I won't get angry or lie to you SIIHP. I have no reason to lie and I have no reason to be angry. What I won't do is help feed your illusions. I too have been down this path of anger, despair and hatred of others. I know from experience that helping maintain your illusions only feeds into the downward spiral, I won't do that. What I will do is offer my sincere and humble apologies for not being the angry uncivil person you *need* me to be.
Oh SIIHP, it's okay.
I understand why you have to lie. I understand why you feel the need to attack and call me names and then lie about it. Your actions surely help reinforce the careful illusion you've built to keep from feeling the pain you *must* be feeling.
Had I understood the pain you were going through, I would never have confronted your lie and personal attacks so harshly. I would have continued to you let you maintain your protective fantasy of being a respectful, truthful individual.
I am truly sorry if I have made you confront painful memories you would rather not have to remember right now.
SIIHP, please ignore my original reply to this comment and accept my heartfelt apologies.
Had I read your comment in the other thread before this one, I would have realized the pain and anguish you must be feeling and would never have continued this spirited debate with you.
What you need right now is help and healing, not more conflict.
I can understand if you don't want to talk about the atrocious event that is causing your pain; you're obviously not ready for it. I too have felt pain and loss, I can understand it must be very hard for you to deal with this.
SIIHP, it's alright that you keep attacking me. I know you're not angry with me, you're angry with the world. You're hurting so much right now, you want everyone else to feel just as bad as you do.
I can understand why you don't want to trust anyone right now. That it's simply easier to make up stories about others, because then you can point to them and say your problem isn't so bad in comparison. Please, take my honest heartfelt advice and go talk to a professional counselor. Venting your rage like this isn't healthy and could cause future physical and psychological trauma.
I don't say these things to hurt you SIIHP. I say these things because I would hate to see your sharp mind and wit be destroyed by the intense sadness, pain and anger you must be feeling. Not dealing with it will only lead to you becoming what you try to make others out to be. I know talking to a counselor is a scary thing for many people, so I will not think less of you if you don't feel comfortable talking to one.
Until you do, you are welcome to continue yelling and hurling insults at me. I promise not to judge you or attack you.
I now know what you say isn't personal.
Your lie is right here:
"Neither did I. I got my point across without any of that, but you continued to argue the same stupid points, so I gave up and descended to your level."
I have never attacked you. You had no reason to "descend" to my level as I have never *ONCE* called you stupid, dumb or moronic.
Even now you lie, while continuing to attack me as though I were the one who was lying. Your points became worthless the moment you ceased to defend them by resorting to attacks, childhood name calling and lies.
It's a shame you feel so threatened by me that you no longer wish to have a rational conversation. Too bad, I was really enjoying it too.
Interesting...
I wonder what sad horrible thing has happened in your life to make you so untrusting, you can't accept the truth when it's presented to you.
Just when I thought misdirection was the only trick you had, you decided to add lying to your repertoire. Or have I so utterly destroyed your argument, you have to convince yourself that calling me dumb, stupid and a moron on numerous occasions does not constitute a personal attack?
Hollow out a loaf of bread and stick the cat in that. As long as you don't butter the bottom, it should give the desired effect.
You're funny. I'm laughing as I type this.
Your attempts at misdirection in a futile effort to make it look like I'm lying are utterly hilarious.
The gross assumptions and personal attacks you keep making certainly have provided some interesting reading. Either way, it's been fun; watching as you try to convince yourself that just because I didn't make the same choices you would have, I must somehow be lying.
I don't know if you actually believe what you're saying, or if you're just some kind of clever troll looking to elicit a reaction. Having said that, I know I shouldn't keep feeding you, but I will, if only to spend more time laughing.
Woah, what's with all the hostility? I thought we were having a nice spirited conversation here?
I'm not afraid to admit I have arguably legitimate fears when it comes to casual sex, if that makes me a profound coward, so be it. But I'm not the one that's had to resort to name calling, personal attacks and baseless assumptions to get their point across.
You're free to continue living your life as you deem fit. I don't think you're a coward because you take "reasonable" precautions to prevent statistically tiny risks. In fact I applaud the choices you've made to take "reasonable" precautions. If anything, our conversation has shown our definition of "reasonable" to be different, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Despite our differences, I think we would both agree we're more concerned with people having safe sex rather than no sex at all.
Every action in life has "statistically tiny risks" associated with them. For most people engaged in those actions the risks are a mere afterthought because they happen so rarely. Hell, I broke my foot walking a dog and it wasn't even my dog. Doesn't mean I still don't take dogs out for walks when I'm asked to take care of them.
Despite what you think, I did not change the argument. You just failed to see the point I was trying to make. For most people, there are some "statistically tiny risks" people won't willingly subject themselves to, regardless of the improbability of their occurrence.
In the case of the original poster, they had a concern regarding STDs. When you think about the lifelong consequences, all of them negative, calling the original poster a coward because they don't share the same risk tolerance you do was way out of line.
Also, I don't appreciate being called "dumb" just because you failed to grasp my comment regarding my niece had nothing to do with the overall theme of sex in this article but was instead directed squarely to your comment of "You can be afraid of statistically tiny risks if you want, the rest of us aren't possessed by profound cowardice." I seriously doubt you could justify letting a three year old go to the park unsupervised, even with the "statistically tiny risks" involved.
But I guess we should keep this conversation about sex, since that's what the article is about.
Since it's been established all throughout this article and can be confirmed with some simple Google searches, the statistical chances of receiving an STD and/or getting the girl pregnant from unprotected sex are statistically tiny. Do you go "dipping unprotected in a bar slut" or do you wear a condom? If you do, doesn't that, by your own definition make you a coward too?
Nice assumption you've got going there. Since I've considered the pros and cons to make an informed choice and not have random sex, it must somehow mean I haven't had ample opportunity to do so?
Of course, you'd be wrong. I don't feel like reiterating my reasons for being personally and socially responsible, you can go back and re-read what I wrote.
Still, despite all this spirited debate and knowing I've made the right choices for myself, in some ways I do envy you. A fair number of the ladies I've turned down over the years, while I wasn't the least bit attracted to them personally and wouldn't consider raising a child with them, they were physically very attractive. Sometimes I wish I could have been able to relax, ignore the responsibilities that come with physical intimacy, and just enjoy some of that random sex once in a while.
Ummm, where exactly did I mention I was "choosing" not to get laid.
I believe I was clear in stating I would be more receptive to the idea of random sex, assuming there were a 100% foolproof method of not getting the woman pregnant. I'm not worried about the STD part, with the proper use of protection methods your chances of catching one are low. Should you luck out and manage to catch one, it will likely be a minor one that has a cure and if not, will probably at least be manageable.
Pregnancy, which I also agree is statistically low, unfortunately can't be handled like an STD. You can't force a woman into an abortion, nor can you force her to put the child up for adoption (honestly, I don't know if *I* could handle knowing I had a kid and wasn't a part of it's life).
Let me make this perfectly clear. I am a big believer in people having sex before marriage. It's important that couples find out if they're sexually compatible before they commit themselves to each other. That being said, protection methods aren't 100% effective and before I potentially take on the immense lifelong responsibility of raising a child, I'm going to make sure it's with someone I actually want to share that responsibility with.
It's a statistically tiny risk for children to be abducted, doesn't mean I'm going to let my three year old niece go to the park by herself. Does that make me a coward too?
You're right and you're wrong.
It's true I could end up like Christopher Reeve should I take up extreme mountain biking. It's a long shot but it is a shot. Yet should it happen to me it affects only my life.
Having random sex on the other hand has the potential to affect three lives, myself, the woman and the potential child that could come out of it. I don't mind risking my own life, hell I do that everyday just going to work; you are far more likely to die in an auto accident than getting a girl pregnant when using more than one form of birth control.
But when it comes to risking other people's lives, and then having to live with and provide for those lives for at least 20 years; I think it makes sense to be more cautious about choosing ones partners.
I know and understand that statistically my chances of catching anything are lower than most other activities. If someone could come up with a sterilization technique that was reversible 100% of the time so I could get my freak on without worrying about pregnancy, but reverse it when I want to have kids, then yes I probably would have sex with a random partner.
I'm not risk averse when I'm staking no one's life but my own. But as long as there is even a small chance I'm going to get tied to two other people for life just because I wanted to feel good for an hour or so, I'm going to be a bit more choosy about who I have sex with.
Meeting women is mind numbingly easy. They make up around half the population so simply going outside gives you a good chance of meeting a woman. Meeting attractive women is harder, but not that hard.
;-)
The problem is meeting an attractive woman that you find yourself irresistibly attracted to. That's really hard.
I'm not talking about the "man, she's hot I gotta fuck her" attraction, everyone gets that. I'm talking that feeling you get in your gut, where everything inside of you is screaming, "I have *GOT* to get to know this girl!", and when you talk to her it's so incredibly easy. No pretenses, no false bravado; you just feel so relaxed and comfortable around her.
Meeting a woman where you have that kind of attraction is really *really* hard.
Getting that girl to find you just as irresistibly attractive as you find her, it's damn near impossible.
In my life, I've met a grand total of 9 women who would fit in the irresistible attraction category and in all but one of them, they were already married or about to become married. The one who wasn't taken; I was completely shocked to find that she was just as attracted in me as I was in her. Despite this mutual attraction, our common interests and the ease with which we got along, it ultimately didn't work out as she thought I was younger and I thought she was older. Shocked the hell out of both of us when we finally figured out she was 17 (she definitely did not look or act it) and I was 30. At least we both found out before I worked up the guts to ask her out, although a part of me wants to wait until she's 25 (she's 20 now) and ask her out anyways.
The point of my story?
Even though it didn't completely work out as I had hoped, in my 33 years I have managed to find at least one woman who found me as attractive as I found her. If there's one, there has to be others. I'm not giving up yet, and I don't think you should either. It might take me a while, but I'm certain I'll be able to find someone who's as into me as I am them.
For most things I would agree with you. If I take up extreme mountain biking and break a few bones, worst that would happen is a few months in traction, some time in rehab and a limp or sore back for the rest of my life. Annoying sure, but not so bad considering.
Sex though is very different. I don't care how many creams, jellies, foams and extra thick condoms I'm wearing, it only takes one sperm cell to get through. If it does get through and it's that one in a million shot that gets some random girl pregnant, I'm now a father for life. Even if she turns out to be a complete nut job I end up wanting nothing to do with; if she decides to keep the baby, I will have a financial and emotional responsibility to not only her, but also my child, for the remainder of my life.
To make matters worse, because you have a child from this "minuscule possibility" it severely limits your abilities to begin another relationship. Few people want to get involved with someone who has young children. Between the crazy ex-wife or one night stand and the kid who hates the new girlfriend because she's standing between "mommy and daddy getting back together", few self respecting women will put up with it.
So not only do you have to worry about having a kid, you also have to worry about limiting your relationship options for at least 18-20 years.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm no prude. I fully expect to "try before I buy" when it comes to sex as I think it's vitally important a couple know if they are sexually compatible before they get married. But before I get to the sex, I'm going to make damn certain I know, love and respect her enough that even should we not work out as a couple, she would still be someone I could see myself raising a child with.
And for some reason, he keeps trying to dream me into his life.
Pete...
Not everyone is capable of simple math you know. I had to put that into a calculator to figure out the 0.75 answer.
I've tried flash cards, memorization tricks, practice problem after practice problem. I just can't do simple math in my head. When I was a kid I wanted nothing more than to be an astronaut. I studied hard and got excellent grades in the science and computer technology courses, but my math marks, while also excellent, were tainted by the fact I couldn't do simple math in my head.
I was one of those kids who needed extra time on a math test. You know the type, you're stuck in a room with reams of paper and the teachers give you all the time you need to finish it. While I did get most of the answers right, it took me many hours to do so as I had to figure everything out by hand. Stacks and stacks of paper were filled with multiplication and division tables.
It really killed my dreams of being an astronaut after I realized that when you're flying in a craft going 25 times the speed of sound, you don't have time to break out the paper and start doing it by hand.
So before you go thinking the checkout girl at the counter is an "idiot" because she can't figure out 20.02 - 19.27 = 0.75 in her head, just try and remember that not everyone has an easy time with simple math.
Pete...
I honestly don't know what to think.
;-)
Part of me wants to believe that the whole Chocolate Milk thing was staged. But another part of me just knows it was real. What saddens me is that the parent would not only let their child hurl obscenities at them without any kind of consequences, but that they were an active participant in it.
As I watched I kept expecting the video to just cut out, but amazingly it kept going. I kept thinking, "Oh my, he's called her a bitch, she's going to turn it off." "What the hell, he said mother fracker, here comes the slap." but nothing. I simply can't believe the mother would show such a lack of parenting skill. All she had to do was walk over and push the big green button on the X-Box and turn the damned thing off.
And the swearing, wow, if I'd even dared to call my parents the tiniest fraction of what that kid said, I'd have been forcibly disconnected from the console and been gargling Palmolive.
As for the second one:
I have to admit, I did that whiny "puhleazeeee" thing once when I was a kid. Hey, I'd like to see you spend all day getting to the final level on Super Mario 3 only to be told it was time to get off, and there's no damn save game possible! While I didn't get all super whiny like this kid did, I did make fair bit of an noise about it.
Well, that was right up until my dad put his fingers near the power button. Right then I knew I wasn't going to win the argument and begged my parents to leave the console on all night so I could finish it after school the next day. Just my luck, but we had a nasty thunderstorm that night and the power went out. So when I got home from school the next day, not only was the screen doing that flashing two shades of grey "cartridge not inserted correctly" thing, but nothing I did was ever able get that cartridge to work again.
Oh well, I hear you can play SMB3 on the Wii now. So once I can actually find one, I just might take the time to try and finish this time.
Pete...