Tired of walking the straight and narrow? Sick of being told you're a sinner who'll go to hell if you don't kowtow to Jesus? Saddened by having to constantly give a portion of your hard-earned wages to support your local lazy-ass preacher?
Visit autopr0n.com today, and fall off the purity wagon!
Surgeon General's Warning: Keep a huge wad of paper towels handy when you first jack off. If you've been a christian for a while, and have abstained from spankin' the monkey, the first load you shoot is gonna be huge. Be prepared, and be safe! Remember, only you can prevent cum-slip-and-fall accidents!
What you need, Mr. AC, is to be straightened out by Sam Adams. Like the earlier AC poster said, you can go around the world and not find a better enforcer than Samuel Adams.
Sorry to rehash an earlier joke, but I still have orange juice in my nose.:^)
Damn you! I'm reading your post at work, and am obstensibly working. In trying to laugh quietly, I succeeded in spewing a mouthful of orange juice out my nose.
Welcome to my friends list. After reading the parent post, I was thinking, "self, someone needs to refute the poor bastard!" And viola, there you were!
I remember once we found this strange ball in his room on the floor...neither one of us had ever seen it before...but it freaked us out! He insisted it emanated evil!
A young schizophrenic named Strutter When told of the death of his brother, Said: "Yes, it's too bad, But I can't feel too sad; After all, I still have each other."
anybody with moderating experience [...] who I felt I knew because someone who I didn't feel I knew [...] feel free to email me at fraccy4@hotmail.com [...] if I had you here in person, you'd get a smack in the mouth.
The following is a public service announcement: This user is a Troll. Please mod accordingly. Thank you.
I shall sacrifice one cow and five chickens on behalf of you and your sister; and in much fasting and prayer I shall call upon the Almighty Concierge to...er, um....
It's not demonstrable or experiential for anyone else.
Precisely why I've always held that religion is a form of mass-hysteria, a kind of shared delusion. Many people insist that their god talks to them. On the other hand, I and a lot of other people have never heard or seen this god talk to me or anyone else; ergo, these god-hearing people are mentally ill by their very own standards. Q. E. D.
And interestingly enough, the popularly accepted schizophrenia of Christianity is just as dangerous to the health of bystanders as a maniac is to those around him. Think the Crusades, the Inquisition, the puritanical Witch Burnings, etc.
Ummm, leave it to generally disgruntled slashdotters to miss a reference. See the movie "Contact".
What? Wrong. The original reference is to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, in which the Earth is first colonized by a crashed spaceship filled with management consultants, hairdressers, telephone sanitizers. Of course, the planet that sent them goes extinct from a very rare virus which is picked up from an unsanitized telephone.
I can't believe I'm explaining this to you! This stuff is Geekdom 101, and calling yourself a "Slashdotter" without knowing this stuff by heart (and knowing where your towel is) is truly frightening.:-)
Or, like a friend once did, be gazing down at your front tire while you ride full-tilt into the back of a parked truck (lorry). He then got to go around with one of those massive mid-chest to chin neck brace things complete with chrome bars and at least twenty meters of velcro. Doh!
I find downhilling on my mountain bike to be one of the few times where I feel completely and utterly stress-free. When you're doing something like 64 Km/h down a rutted, obstacle-strewn single track, you can't possible even think passing thoughts on anything beyond where your tires are going to be in the next few seconds. I always feel like a million bucks when I get to the bottom of the hill... at least until I realize I now get to climb all the way back up.:-)
I still firmly believe that the best ever two-head movie scene is the one from Army of Darkness.
In it, the intrepid Ashley J. "Ash" Williams (played by the always hilarious Bruce Campbell) splits into two persons. During this process, he has two heads and three legs for awhile; one head is good (the original head) while the second is pure evil. During the so-called fight scene, watching "him" poke "himself" in the eye and slap "his own" head was an absolute riot!
The movie is highly recommended to anyone who likes Douglas Adams and/or Terry Pratchet.
And don't forget your towel !! Ducking and covering is all fine and well, but if you can't then drape your towel over your head, you will still be eaten by the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. Lots of good ducking 'n' covering will have done you then!
Slashdot Mirror
Visit autopr0n.com today, and fall off the purity wagon!
Surgeon General's Warning: Keep a huge wad of paper towels handy when you first jack off. If you've been a christian for a while, and have abstained from spankin' the monkey, the first load you shoot is gonna be huge. Be prepared, and be safe! Remember, only you can prevent cum-slip-and-fall accidents!
Sorry to rehash an earlier joke, but I still have orange juice in my nose. :^)
Funniest post I've read yet. Thank you.
You are a gentleman and a scholar.
A young schizophrenic named Strutter
When told of the death of his brother,
Said: "Yes, it's too bad,
But I can't feel too sad;
After all, I still have each other."
Nurse Ratched? Is that you? I didn't know you read Slashdot!
Oh, nevermind. Bar-B-Que, anyone?
And interestingly enough, the popularly accepted schizophrenia of Christianity is just as dangerous to the health of bystanders as a maniac is to those around him. Think the Crusades, the Inquisition, the puritanical Witch Burnings, etc.
- Slashdot: Benevolent* Dictatorship
- Kuro5hin: Socialist Communism
Read up on the submission methods used for new articles, and you'll quickly come to agree with me.* -- Although many would disagree with this. As with any political system, there are those who seek to overthrow it: one example, and another.
And yes, the mind-control people are out to get you.
I can't believe I'm explaining this to you! This stuff is Geekdom 101, and calling yourself a "Slashdotter" without knowing this stuff by heart (and knowing where your towel is) is truly frightening. :-)
Or, like a friend once did, be gazing down at your front tire while you ride full-tilt into the back of a parked truck (lorry). He then got to go around with one of those massive mid-chest to chin neck brace things complete with chrome bars and at least twenty meters of velcro. Doh!
I find downhilling on my mountain bike to be one of the few times where I feel completely and utterly stress-free. When you're doing something like 64 Km/h down a rutted, obstacle-strewn single track, you can't possible even think passing thoughts on anything beyond where your tires are going to be in the next few seconds. I always feel like a million bucks when I get to the bottom of the hill ... at least until I realize I now get to climb all the way back up. :-)
Awesome tip, thank you! I'm definitely getting one. Nashbar has 'em for $24.95.
In it, the intrepid Ashley J. "Ash" Williams (played by the always hilarious Bruce Campbell) splits into two persons. During this process, he has two heads and three legs for awhile; one head is good (the original head) while the second is pure evil. During the so-called fight scene, watching "him" poke "himself" in the eye and slap "his own" head was an absolute riot!
The movie is highly recommended to anyone who likes Douglas Adams and/or Terry Pratchet.
And don't forget your towel !! Ducking and covering is all fine and well, but if you can't then drape your towel over your head, you will still be eaten by the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. Lots of good ducking 'n' covering will have done you then!