In 1978, a little boy named Thomas was walking through his hallway. Being the observant young lad that he was, he immediately spotted a box of graham crackers on the other side of the hallway right between the entrance to his parents' bedroom on the left and the entrance to the kitchen on the right. Suddenly, he had an epiphany; anyone who walks past that box of graham crackers must let a large black man insert his penis into their anus.
Then, as if doing so in the heat of the moment, Thomas dashed past the box of graham crackers. However, he was immediately apprehended and subjugated by the large black man whose existence was unknown to him a few minutes ago. The black man hastily ripped off Thomas' pants and underwear, forced him to get on all fours, and then stared blankly at Thomas' ass. After a few moments, the black man screamed, as if both surprised and angry, "There is no hole!"
Seizing the opportunity, Thomas escaped into the closet in his parents' bedroom. After a cursory glance, he noted the position of a cabbage patch kid sitting right next to him. His hope that he would be safe was obliterated when the black man came clumsily stumbling into the closet, bumping into the cabbage patch kid. The cabbage patch kid, enraged by their foolishness, got sucked into the black man's ass. While the black man's ass was getting tickled, Thomas sprinted out the front door of his house, and ran towards the road. There, he spotted a car waiting on the side of the road, and in the driver's seat was a friend whose name he couldn't remember signaling him to get in. Being that he was desperately trying to escape, he took up the enigmatic person's offer.
While Thomas explained the strange events that took place prior to him getting in the car, the car drove down the road at such high speeds that it looked like a blur to any passerby. Immediately after finishing his explanation, Thomas began to celebrate the fact that he escaped from that dangerous situation. His ebullient attitude was interrupted when the mysterious driver said, "Now, now, now's the time right now!"
Clueless as to what the person meant, Thomas stared at him blankly. The car then slowed down to less than 1 mile per hour, and the strange man said, in a voice that was dripping with malice and anticipation, "What slowness can I offer you? I'm copyright owner Madow!" Following this, he turned into an old man with messy hair that was wearing a butler's outfit. As if amused by Thomas' reaction, the old man stared and smiled at him. That's when Thomas sensed both that the car was no longer safe and that the cabbage patch kid from before was catching up to them. He knew that he could run far more quickly than the car was currently moving, so he got out of the car and began to run.
However, before he could get more than a few meters away from the car, an unseen entity lifted Thomas into the sky and flung him ass-first around the world. Thomas, not knowing what was happening any longer, screamed as he flew uncontrollably around the world at the speed of light. Eventually, he felt his ass crash into something, and even though he had not seen what it was, he somehow knew that it was the same cabbage patch kid as before. Thomas promptly felt something get sucked into his ass as if his ass was nothing more than a gigantic spaghetti noodle (just like grandma).
Soon afterwards, Thomas realized two things: that he could no longer escape and that his ass was becoming something entirely different from what it was before. Thomas could not fathom the change that his ass was going through, but he knew, deep in his heart, that it was transforming into something that he would never approve of. Seconds later, he came to the sudden realization that his ass was becoming something known as a "rumblehouse ass." In addition to this, he knew that it would be used as a bouncehouse by the cabbage patch kid.
The cabbage patch kid began to bounce off the sides of Thomas' ass. It bounced to the left; it bounced to
Nearly four months ago, I noticed that my internet connection was very sluggish. Eventually getting fed up with it, I began to seek out software that would speed up the gigabits in my router. After an hour of searching, I found what at first appeared to be a very promising piece of software. Not only did it claim it would speed up my internet connection, but that it would overclock my power supply, speed up my gigabits, and remove any viruses from my computer! "This is a fantastic opportunity that I simply can't pass up," I thought. I immediately downloaded the software and began the installation, all the while laughing like a small child. I was highly anticipating a future where the speed of my internet connection would leave everyone else's in the dust.
I was horribly, horribly naive. Immediately upon the completion of the software's installation, various messages popped up on my screen about how I needed to buy software to remove a virus that I wasn't aware I had from a software company I'd never once heard of. The strange software also blocked me from doing anything except buying the software it was advertising. Being that I was a computer whiz (I had taken a computer essentials class in high school that taught me how to use Microsoft Office, and was quite adept at accessing my Facebook account), I was immediately able to conclude that the software I'd downloaded was, in fact, a virus, and that it was slowing down my gigabits at an exponential rate. "I can't let this insanity proceed any further," I thought.
As I was often called a computer genius, I was confident at the time that I could get rid of the virus with my own two hands. I tried numerous things: restarting the computer, pressing random keys on the keyboard, throwing the mouse across the room, and even flipping an orange switch on the back of the tower and turning the computer back on. My efforts were all in vain; the virus persisted, and my gigabits were running slower than ever! "This cannot be! What is this!? I've never once seen such a vicious virus in my entire life!" I was dumbfounded that I, a computer genius, was unable to remove the virus using the methods I described. Upon coming to terms with my failure, I decided to take my computer to a PC repair shop for repair.
I drove to a nearby computer repair shop and entered the building with my computer in hand. The inside of the building was quite large, neat, and organized, and the employees all seemed very kind and knowledgeable. They laughed upon hearing my embarrassing story, and told me that they saw this kind of thing on a daily basis. They then accepted the job, and told me that in the worst case, it'd be fixed in three days from now. I left with a smile, and felt confident in my decision to leave the computer repairs to the experts.
A week later, they still hadn't called back. Visibly angry, I tried calling them countless times, but not a single time did they answer the phone. Their negligence and irresponsibility infuriated me, and sent me into a state of insanity that caused me to punch a gigantic hole in the wall. Being that I would require my computer for work soon, I decided to head over to the computer repair shop to find out exactly what the problem was.
Upon entering the building, I was shocked by the state of its interior; it looked as if a tornado had tore through the entire building! Countless broken computers were scattered all about the floor, desks were flipped over, the walls had holes in them, there was a puddle of blood on the floor, and worst of all, I saw that my computer was sitting in the middle of the room laying on its side! Absolutely unforgivable! I soon noticed one of the employees sitting behind one of the tipped over desks (the one that had previously had the cash register on top of it); he was shaking uncontrollably and sobbing. Despite being furious about my computer being tipped over, seeing him in that state still managed to make me less unforgiving. I decided to ask him what happened.
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Can I lick your snap?
Don't read this... it is a curse...
In 1978, a little boy named Thomas was walking through his hallway. Being the observant young lad that he was, he immediately spotted a box of graham crackers on the other side of the hallway right between the entrance to his parents' bedroom on the left and the entrance to the kitchen on the right. Suddenly, he had an epiphany; anyone who walks past that box of graham crackers must let a large black man insert his penis into their anus.
Then, as if doing so in the heat of the moment, Thomas dashed past the box of graham crackers. However, he was immediately apprehended and subjugated by the large black man whose existence was unknown to him a few minutes ago. The black man hastily ripped off Thomas' pants and underwear, forced him to get on all fours, and then stared blankly at Thomas' ass. After a few moments, the black man screamed, as if both surprised and angry, "There is no hole!"
Seizing the opportunity, Thomas escaped into the closet in his parents' bedroom. After a cursory glance, he noted the position of a cabbage patch kid sitting right next to him. His hope that he would be safe was obliterated when the black man came clumsily stumbling into the closet, bumping into the cabbage patch kid. The cabbage patch kid, enraged by their foolishness, got sucked into the black man's ass. While the black man's ass was getting tickled, Thomas sprinted out the front door of his house, and ran towards the road. There, he spotted a car waiting on the side of the road, and in the driver's seat was a friend whose name he couldn't remember signaling him to get in. Being that he was desperately trying to escape, he took up the enigmatic person's offer.
While Thomas explained the strange events that took place prior to him getting in the car, the car drove down the road at such high speeds that it looked like a blur to any passerby. Immediately after finishing his explanation, Thomas began to celebrate the fact that he escaped from that dangerous situation. His ebullient attitude was interrupted when the mysterious driver said, "Now, now, now's the time right now!"
Clueless as to what the person meant, Thomas stared at him blankly. The car then slowed down to less than 1 mile per hour, and the strange man said, in a voice that was dripping with malice and anticipation, "What slowness can I offer you? I'm copyright owner Madow!" Following this, he turned into an old man with messy hair that was wearing a butler's outfit. As if amused by Thomas' reaction, the old man stared and smiled at him. That's when Thomas sensed both that the car was no longer safe and that the cabbage patch kid from before was catching up to them. He knew that he could run far more quickly than the car was currently moving, so he got out of the car and began to run.
However, before he could get more than a few meters away from the car, an unseen entity lifted Thomas into the sky and flung him ass-first around the world. Thomas, not knowing what was happening any longer, screamed as he flew uncontrollably around the world at the speed of light. Eventually, he felt his ass crash into something, and even though he had not seen what it was, he somehow knew that it was the same cabbage patch kid as before. Thomas promptly felt something get sucked into his ass as if his ass was nothing more than a gigantic spaghetti noodle (just like grandma).
Soon afterwards, Thomas realized two things: that he could no longer escape and that his ass was becoming something entirely different from what it was before. Thomas could not fathom the change that his ass was going through, but he knew, deep in his heart, that it was transforming into something that he would never approve of. Seconds later, he came to the sudden realization that his ass was becoming something known as a "rumblehouse ass." In addition to this, he knew that it would be used as a bouncehouse by the cabbage patch kid.
The cabbage patch kid began to bounce off the sides of Thomas' ass. It bounced to the left; it bounced to
Nearly four months ago, I noticed that my internet connection was very sluggish. Eventually getting fed up with it, I began to seek out software that would speed up the gigabits in my router. After an hour of searching, I found what at first appeared to be a very promising piece of software. Not only did it claim it would speed up my internet connection, but that it would overclock my power supply, speed up my gigabits, and remove any viruses from my computer! "This is a fantastic opportunity that I simply can't pass up," I thought. I immediately downloaded the software and began the installation, all the while laughing like a small child. I was highly anticipating a future where the speed of my internet connection would leave everyone else's in the dust.
I was horribly, horribly naive. Immediately upon the completion of the software's installation, various messages popped up on my screen about how I needed to buy software to remove a virus that I wasn't aware I had from a software company I'd never once heard of. The strange software also blocked me from doing anything except buying the software it was advertising. Being that I was a computer whiz (I had taken a computer essentials class in high school that taught me how to use Microsoft Office, and was quite adept at accessing my Facebook account), I was immediately able to conclude that the software I'd downloaded was, in fact, a virus, and that it was slowing down my gigabits at an exponential rate. "I can't let this insanity proceed any further," I thought.
As I was often called a computer genius, I was confident at the time that I could get rid of the virus with my own two hands. I tried numerous things: restarting the computer, pressing random keys on the keyboard, throwing the mouse across the room, and even flipping an orange switch on the back of the tower and turning the computer back on. My efforts were all in vain; the virus persisted, and my gigabits were running slower than ever! "This cannot be! What is this!? I've never once seen such a vicious virus in my entire life!" I was dumbfounded that I, a computer genius, was unable to remove the virus using the methods I described. Upon coming to terms with my failure, I decided to take my computer to a PC repair shop for repair.
I drove to a nearby computer repair shop and entered the building with my computer in hand. The inside of the building was quite large, neat, and organized, and the employees all seemed very kind and knowledgeable. They laughed upon hearing my embarrassing story, and told me that they saw this kind of thing on a daily basis. They then accepted the job, and told me that in the worst case, it'd be fixed in three days from now. I left with a smile, and felt confident in my decision to leave the computer repairs to the experts.
A week later, they still hadn't called back. Visibly angry, I tried calling them countless times, but not a single time did they answer the phone. Their negligence and irresponsibility infuriated me, and sent me into a state of insanity that caused me to punch a gigantic hole in the wall. Being that I would require my computer for work soon, I decided to head over to the computer repair shop to find out exactly what the problem was.
Upon entering the building, I was shocked by the state of its interior; it looked as if a tornado had tore through the entire building! Countless broken computers were scattered all about the floor, desks were flipped over, the walls had holes in them, there was a puddle of blood on the floor, and worst of all, I saw that my computer was sitting in the middle of the room laying on its side! Absolutely unforgivable! I soon noticed one of the employees sitting behind one of the tipped over desks (the one that had previously had the cash register on top of it); he was shaking uncontrollably and sobbing. Despite being furious about my computer being tipped over, seeing him in that state still managed to make me less unforgiving. I decided to ask him what happened.
A few moments passed where the entire r