There's nothing inherently good or superior about being different. Being different does not automatically bestow depth or intelligence or moral superiority. Being different does not automatically make you more interesting, or entitle you to respect, nor does it automatically explain why you are the target of abuse or ridicule. Some geeks are abused and ridiculed because they're ridiculous people. Some Goths are harrassed not because they wear black cloths and eyeliner, but maybe because they're assholes. And a Goth is not a better person than a Jock just because they're a Goth. I mean, I've read about a dozen postings here where the writer admits to being anti-social, then complains that nobody in high school liked them. Gee, wonder why? And I don't think for a moment that Doom or Duke Nukem causes normal kids to become violent, but I do think that spending twelve hours a day locked inside staring at a computer screen playing mindless video games does ROT YOUR SOUL and RUINS YOUR BODY and makes you a generally unattractive, boring person. I see these pasty-faced, pudgy kids and I'm not scared of them, but I feel sorry for them: wasting away b/c of a meaning GAME. No wonder they don't have any social skills: playing Doom or spending hours in chat rooms being snide and cynical doesn't help your ability to deal with REAL PEOPLE. I live and work in the computer age, but at my job I interact every single day with real live people. And let's also talk for a moment about the geek hatred for jocks. I have no doubt that plenty of jocks are jerks and earn the emnity justifiably. But lots of jocks are kids who pour endless hours of determination and physical pain into honing their athletic skills. They're all lumped together as mindless assholes who pummel each other for fun. This is just as prejudicial as any stereotype. I happen to admire several dozen different athletes, from Muhammed Ali to John Elway. I remember a punker girl snarling at an old woman once: this girl had orange hair, pierced EVERYTHING and an f-you attitude visible miles away. She screamed at an old lady to stop staring at her. I wanted to yell back: why do you dress like that unless it's to get attention, to shock people? Being a Goth in 1990s USA is not like being Jewish in 1930s Germany: if you choose to be different, choose to alienate people, choose to be anti-social, you cannot complain because your high school teachers or peers don't embrace your lifestyle or even understand it. That's the price of being a rebel: mainstream culture is going to be scared of you and try to change you. Part of the problem is that conformity is sometimes tougher than being a rebel. It's difficult to move in and out of different social circles: indeed, it's a real skill. It means that you have to be nice, and accomodating, and that stupid, petty conversational conventions have to be followed. It means that you have to have some sort of physical, human contact. It means that you have to sometimes find ways to indulge others, be less selfish, try to entertain. The easiest thing in the world is to sit in front of a computer screen all day; it's a lot harder to go out and earn friendship and fit into a group of people. Half the geeks I know are misunderstood and outcast because they're MISANTHROPES and they're PREJUDICED and because they think everyone around them is an idiot. Half the postings here have had extreme examples of that geek superiority complex and that's why people hate geeks. My experience in HS was that being attractive or athletic certainly went a long way towards popularity, but my school had kids who were popular because they were funny or because they were helpful or because they were engaging. I know it isn't always that easy, but I can't handle one more self-described REBEL or GOTH or POWER GEEK or ANARCHIST complain that they're misunderstood or outcast. There's nothing inherently wrong with being social or popular or athletic. I have zero tolerance for bullying or for physical assault, and I think high schools have wrongly avoided this problem for decades because of the legal liability at stake. And yes, it's too bad that high schools aren't little utopias where we can all get along, but high schools already coddle kids today in unimaginable ways. Jesus, if I hear one more educator or psychologist talk about raising the self-esteem in high school kids, I'm going to puke. THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS SELF-ESTEEM IN THE REAL WORLD: there's only competition, survival, and money in the real world. So get rid of your EGOPATHIC and AUTOCENTRIC feelings and go join the golf team or the spirit club. School spirit never killed anyone; you might actually like it.
Of course there's another option, and you'll forgive me if I take the Miranda ruling out of its legal context for a moment: YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT...
I know it probably doesn't help anyone in high school right now to hear this, BUT IT DOES GET BETTER. High school is not real life. Real life is real life, and that's when survival of the fittest actually gives the average geek a real advantage. I work in the entertainment industry and let me tell you: 90% of my colleagues (and we're talking feature film studio execs, agents, producers, tv network execs) were GEEKS in high school. My brother is a computer geek: never had a date in HS, but now that he bills $25,000 a month on average, he's inundated with offers. So if you're in high school now, and suffering from the crap dished out by the jocks and the preps and the popular kids, just remember that the best revenge is doing well, finding a way to be happy, and looking forward to a fruitful, successful life. And in ten years, when you're happily married, earning a nice six-figure salary or about to take your company public, you'll remember your HS experience as something that gave you backbone and fortitude. And believe it or not, the captain of the football team might just be the guy who fills your tank with gas. This sounds like a cliche, but it happened in my HS: the captain of our HS football team -- the biggest jerk on the planet -- arrived for an interview at a major corporation and discovered that the vice-president interviewing him was none other than the kid who he'd tormented incessantly for four years. And guess what: my friend Richard (the vp) gave the guy the job. Why? Because ten years had passed, and the guy needed the job. (And I suspect a little psychology at play: it's a lot more powerful to give someone a job than to deny them a job.)
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There's nothing inherently good or superior about being different. Being different does not automatically bestow depth or intelligence or moral superiority. Being different does not automatically make you more interesting, or entitle you to respect, nor does it automatically explain why you are the target of abuse or ridicule. Some geeks are abused and ridiculed because they're ridiculous people. Some Goths are harrassed not because they wear black cloths and eyeliner, but maybe because they're assholes. And a Goth is not a better person than a Jock just because they're a Goth. I mean, I've read about a dozen postings here where the writer admits to being anti-social, then complains that nobody in high school liked them. Gee, wonder why? And I don't think for a moment that Doom or Duke Nukem causes normal kids to become violent, but I do think that spending twelve hours a day locked inside staring at a computer screen playing mindless video games does ROT YOUR SOUL and RUINS YOUR BODY and makes you a generally unattractive, boring person. I see these pasty-faced, pudgy kids and I'm not scared of them, but I feel sorry for them: wasting away b/c of a meaning GAME. No wonder they don't have any social skills: playing Doom or spending hours in chat rooms being snide and cynical doesn't help your ability to deal with REAL PEOPLE. I live and work in the computer age, but at my job I interact every single day with real live people. And let's also talk for a moment about the geek hatred for jocks. I have no doubt that plenty of jocks are jerks and earn the emnity justifiably. But lots of jocks are kids who pour endless hours of determination and physical pain into honing their athletic skills. They're all lumped together as mindless assholes who pummel each other for fun. This is just as prejudicial as any stereotype. I happen to admire several dozen different athletes, from Muhammed Ali to John Elway. I remember a punker girl snarling at an old woman once: this girl had orange hair, pierced EVERYTHING and an f-you attitude visible miles away. She screamed at an old lady to stop staring at her. I wanted to yell back: why do you dress like that unless it's to get attention, to shock people? Being a Goth in 1990s USA is not like being Jewish in 1930s Germany: if you choose to be different, choose to alienate people, choose to be anti-social, you cannot complain because your high school teachers or peers don't embrace your lifestyle or even understand it. That's the price of being a rebel: mainstream culture is going to be scared of you and try to change you. Part of the problem is that conformity is sometimes tougher than being a rebel. It's difficult to move in and out of different social circles: indeed, it's a real skill. It means that you have to be nice, and accomodating, and that stupid, petty conversational conventions have to be followed. It means that you have to have some sort of physical, human contact. It means that you have to sometimes find ways to indulge others, be less selfish, try to entertain. The easiest thing in the world is to sit in front of a computer screen all day; it's a lot harder to go out and earn friendship and fit into a group of people. Half the geeks I know are misunderstood and outcast because they're MISANTHROPES and they're PREJUDICED and because they think everyone around them is an idiot. Half the postings here have had extreme examples of that geek superiority complex and that's why people hate geeks. My experience in HS was that being attractive or athletic certainly went a long way towards popularity, but my school had kids who were popular because they were funny or because they were helpful or because they were engaging. I know it isn't always that easy, but I can't handle one more self-described REBEL or GOTH or POWER GEEK or ANARCHIST complain that they're misunderstood or outcast. There's nothing inherently wrong with being social or popular or athletic. I have zero tolerance for bullying or for physical assault, and I think high schools have wrongly avoided this problem for decades because of the legal liability at stake. And yes, it's too bad that high schools aren't little utopias where we can all get along, but high schools already coddle kids today in unimaginable ways. Jesus, if I hear one more educator or psychologist talk about raising the self-esteem in high school kids, I'm going to puke. THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS SELF-ESTEEM IN THE REAL WORLD: there's only competition, survival, and money in the real world. So get rid of your EGOPATHIC and AUTOCENTRIC feelings and go join the golf team or the spirit club. School spirit never killed anyone; you might actually like it.
Of course there's another option, and you'll forgive me if I take the Miranda ruling out of its legal context for a moment: YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT ...
I know it probably doesn't help anyone in high school right now to hear this, BUT IT DOES GET BETTER. High school is not real life. Real life is real life, and that's when survival of the fittest actually gives the average geek a real advantage. I work in the entertainment industry and let me tell you: 90% of my colleagues (and we're talking feature film studio execs, agents, producers, tv network execs) were GEEKS in high school. My brother is a computer geek: never had a date in HS, but now that he bills $25,000 a month on average, he's inundated with offers. So if you're in high school now, and suffering from the crap dished out by the jocks and the preps and the popular kids, just remember that the best revenge is doing well, finding a way to be happy, and looking forward to a fruitful, successful life. And in ten years, when you're happily married, earning a nice six-figure salary or about to take your company public, you'll remember your HS experience as something that gave you backbone and fortitude. And believe it or not, the captain of the football team might just be the guy who fills your tank with gas. This sounds like a cliche, but it happened in my HS: the captain of our HS football team -- the biggest jerk on the planet -- arrived for an interview at a major corporation and discovered that the vice-president interviewing him was none other than the kid who he'd tormented incessantly for four years. And guess what: my friend Richard (the vp) gave the guy the job. Why? Because ten years had passed, and the guy needed the job. (And I suspect a little psychology at play: it's a lot more powerful to give someone a job than to deny them a job.)