That sounds awful! I'd be going through my list of people who deserve a lump of coal to figure out who should receive that dvd!
Look, help is here if you ask. Like I said, opensuse runs fine on both my desktop and laptop, A friend of mine just bought a quad-core and switched from mandriva to opensuse and he likes it - a lot! (win7 came with the machine, so he bought another hd just for linux to make the install easy).
Also, for the ups - don't bother. If the files aren't critical, why waste the energy (a ups is consuming energy even when it's just on standby). I enjoy telling people to yank the power cord on my linux box - they're always hesitant, so I end up doing it. Then I show them how quickly the journal plays back on reboot - a second - as opposed to the "Windows was not properly shut down wait wait wait wait...go to bathroom, go walk dogs, go read a book" experience.
As for the "power conditioning" claims - your power supply already does that, and in the case of a power failure, you want to unplug the unit from the wall anyway to avoid any surge or instability when power is restored, same as your other home electronics. And for your laptop - it has a better ups built in.
Well, I've seen core bits that are on the high side of $250 each... but even then, just make a fixture that lets you stack them in a 10x10 configuration (think like a pool ball rack, but square), 10 x, you're done.
Or (again, assuming they're large bites, just lay out 50 side by side, put a couple of heavy blocks on either side, remove the bits, lay out another 50... it's not like you have to count the individual bits after the first batch of 50.
Because otherwise, if you're going to count them, you'll get somebody (who, me?) who will come up behind you when you're going "656, 657, 658" and start counting "227, 228, 229, 765, 23, 11-teen,... hmmm, do you need any help?"
Study showed that 24% of all accounting graduates could not even READ a 2-page memo. So what happens when you get one who can't read AND can't count to 10?
Trust me on this one, there aresome things that take more than a page to properly explain.
We had one, after the first couple of weeks people started punching it instead of "punching in". They're supposed to also have a keypad so you can manually enter an access code, since the reader is known to be undependable.
If you want to mess it up, each time you stick your finger on it while it's "registering you" (it needs more than 1 scan), put your finger in a different position, different angle, or even use a different finger (people generally don't notice). After 5 failed attempts, they'll give up. Or, if they "insist" o "helping you" place your finger, tell them that as far as you're concerned, their broken machine is their problem, and that touching you is common assault and you'll file charges.
The 4 problematic PCs are running XP or 7 perfectly right now, so I'm not buying the faulty/crappy hardware line. I checked driver support, they are even supposed to be linux-compatible even if old-ish, except for a very old Via-C7 one which should require manual config, except I can get to that point.
Why not grab a copy of slackware. If they run fine with that, then it's probably not a hardware problem. If they don't, they you DO have a hardware problem that you don't know about, and you'll find out the hard way if you ever try to reinstall the current os.
But don't expect Ubuntu to do the job. Ubuntu is not anywhere near the top when it comes to contributions to projects like the kernel - they're really in perma-behind-the-times mode.
Everyone else here is telling you that OpenSuse works, and Novell is one of the bigger kernel code contributors - so why not download a bootable iso and try it. It's not like you have to install it, and it makes Ubuntu look like crap.
Then, if you have any problems and you need some help, just email me. I don't bite.
Put a guy from a machine shop that has to count 1000 drill bits before he ships them to make sure the shipping order is precise, and he'll top that study.
Just goes to show how stupid management can be... I'd give him an accurate scale and tell him to weigh out the right amount.
I want something more like an 8-1/2 x 14. Turned sideways, it almost exactly accommodates a 1920x1080 HD display. It would be big enough to have more than one person use it at a time, it has room for several terabytes of storage, and it can be made today using a 17" lapotp display panel. Also, it would be able to display 2 pages side-by-side "just like a real book".
In two experiments, 28 undergraduate students - 14 with low math anxiety and 14 with high math anxiety - were shown a set of black squares on a computer screen. The squares ranged in number from one to nine and participants were simply asked to identify the number of squares.
Although they were timed, participants were not rushed and the display stayed on the screen until a response was made.
When there were one to four squares presented (the subitizing range), both groups of students performed equally well.
But when there were five or more squares presented (the counting range), the math anxious students were significantly slower and less accurate in counting the squares.
If you can't count to 9, you shouldn't be in university. Just as if you can't write a 2-page memo, you shouldn't be in university.
Maybe I can get a grant to study whether it's due to the consumption of Canadian beer, or just colder weather freezing their grey matter.
On the fileserver I set up at home, it took me two full weekends just to get the samba shares working right and with what I hope are the proper permissions and group settings,
Two weekends to click on menu -> Software -> YaSt-> System -> Software -> Samba Server, fill in a few boxes?
I spent a full day last weekend trying to get apcupsd to talk to my UPS (I get "on battery" and "power restored" messages, but I can't view status and I haven't yet gotten around to testing auto shutdown). I want to put ubuntu on my new laptop, but given the above trouble and the PITA it's been
Well, that explains it - you're colour-blind! Ubuntu - the Great Pumpkin of linux distros.
It is ugly on the screen. It's so ugly it's obscene.
It is ugly every day. It is ugly like old whey.
It is ugly on a boat. It is ugly with a goat.
It is ugly like brown turd. It is ugly as a nerd.
It is ugly, don't you see? It is ugly like green pee.
It is ugly, all the way. It is ugly, this I say!
I will not use it on a boat. I will not use it with a goat.
I will not use it at the fair. I will not use it in my hair.
I will leave it with the nerds. They like it colored like brown turds.
I will leave it, far away, it makes my eyeballs bleed all day.
Seriously? Try OpenSUSE. I've got it running on my laptop just fine, including 2nd display out, webcam, audio, and wifi.
This is the "Use OpenSUSE because it works even the wifi and webcam on my laptop work" thread. Not the "Debian doesn't work because blah blah blah" thread - that's somewhere around the GNAA postings.
"You may not use the software installed on the licensed device within a virtual (or otherwise emulated) hardware system," says a fragment taken from the Windows Vista EULA covering the integration of Vista Home Basic and Home Premium editions with virtualization technologies.
Let me guess... you're also the type who leaves one square of toilet paper on the roll rather than change it.
First, a little more ribbing (because you DO have it coming), and then we'll get serious
Obvious question:
Did you try it on something reasonably new, or were these old pieces of crap with questionable hard drives, rotting capacitors, etc.?
From your answer - "since it did install on my 2 latest PCs" I'm taking it that the other 4 were in fact more-or-less dumpster-ready.
though the community, as you so effectively prove, is as welcoming to curious passer-bys and newbies as ever.
... (not finished with the ribbing, btw)...
If you found linux hard to install, you're simply NOT in the position to help anyone else. They'll see you fumbling, and blame linux instead of your "un-1337 5k1lz". Same as if you found setting up a network hard, you're not in a position to help others do the same.
Or a car analogy: If you can barely drive a car, you're not in a position to teach others to drive a car.
Or a pizza analogy: If you've only eaten store-bought, you can't say what a good pizza tastes like.
Or a beer analogy: If you've only drunk American beer, be careful when you travel - you'll find out American beer is "like making love in a canoe - f***ing close to water."
Okay, all ribbing aside - you made two mistakes.
1) "make it like windows". Why? It's only going to confuse them, because they'll come to it with the wrong expectations. They'll have preconceived notions of how something is supposed to work, and get frustrated when it's not the same. That doesn't happen when they go to a mac - they EXPECT it to be different, and they don't get upset when it doesn't work the same way.
2) "help" - you should always be prepared to do a bit of your own research first, and to explain what you already did. You installed it on 2 pcs... great. WHAT did you install is the obvious first question. And why isn't it "good enough?" And why did you have problems (we probably answered part of that above - unreasonable expectations on obsolete hardware).
BTW, as many others have said, linux is not Windows. Please don't try to make it into Windows. You're doing everyone a disservice, including the end user.
As for making it look like Windows, my users have a tendency to be even dumber than me. My 80-year old dad is thrown off when a video driver update changes his screen's resolution...
... and...?
Not to state the obvious, but once the system is up and running, a video driver update shouldn't change his xorg.conf file, so that's a non-issue (and you DID make a copy to WORKING.xorg.conf, right?). And if it does screw it up, he can always change it back. If he can't learn, then he has to wait for you. Those are his options.
Your options include you logging in as a remote user, and with a few keystrokes, fixing his box when he screws things up. Or just deleting the appropriate desktop config file in his home directory and having him log back in - it will reset everything to sane defaults, so he can mess it up again to his hearts content. Learn to use ssh, vi, man, find, mc, and a few other commands, and you'll be good to help him no matter where you are:-)
Paging Captain Obvious: If you can't figure it out in 5 years, then the application is obviously too vague, or otherwise defective, to be granted a patent!
[_] some of us aren't cheap - we can buy a second hard disk and devote it to an entire OS;
[_] we don't want to look at that "other OS" more than once every 6 months,
[X] that "other OS" has legal restrictions on virtualization.
[_] What is this "other OS" you speak of? I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
[_] In Soviet Russia, other OS boots YOU!
[X] I don't run "that other OS", you insensitive clod!
Except they are NOT making a system designed for 90%+ of the people.
Do the math.
Let us run the numbers. There are 6.8 billion people, so 10% of that would be 680 million.
BUT WAIT! There are already over a billion personal computers in the world! According to you, hundreds of millions of people have computers that they can't use!
And if you actually went to their site like I did, you'd know that they don't tell you what sort of broadband package you're getting. That alone screams "Warning Warning Will Robinson!"
But if you think it's such a great idea, you're free to subscribe to their software for "only $15 a month" and install it on your "overly complicated PC."
the operating system allows you to write software badly unlike Mac or Linux." Mr Hudson,
Ms. Hudson disagrees with Mr. Hudson.
The operating system doesn't "allow you to write software", bad or good. Garbage software can be written for any platform. And the "PC" is really a netbook that uses their servers to store your data, so you're locked in.
Subscribers to Alex receive a USB stick which contains user-encrypted data and enables them to log on to their desktop from any Alex computer.
For their monthly fee, customers also get anti-virus software and 10GB of storage space on the Broadband Computer Company's servers.
The USB stick contains your log-n credentials, encrypted. Your data is sitting on their box. Vendor lock-in and over-priced.
Barratry requires a pattern of filing multiple lawsuits with the intent to harrass.
First, the threats are not barratry, since nothing is filed, so they can make threats until the sky turns green. Save them up for your day in court - the more ridiculous ones (and if they're "that type", there will be some pretty ridiculous claims) will be useful.
Second, multiple lawsuits in and of themselves are not barratry. You have to show the intent behind them - and they can argue that they were pursuing what they perceived as legit claims. Now, once you get them smacked down in court, if they continue... that's another question.
Also, many jurisdictions have anti-SLAPP laws. Use the Internet to help take the law into your own hands legally.
You can get back at them by letting them suffer the costs of dragging you into court. Defend yourself. Serve your own counter-motions via fax on their lawyers and keep the transmittal record as proof of service - file it with the clerk at the next hearing.
Look on the internet for sample motions. Modify them as needed for your case and jurisdiction. Run the clock on them. The meter is ticking at the rate of hundreds of dollars an hour for them. Argue for a longer trial than they want - more time. Argue for more discovery. Argue over venue. Argue, argue, argue. When they ultimately lose (you DID pick your battle, right?) they''ll think twice.
Most important - NEVER offer to settle. NEVER accept an offer that includes ANY non-disclosure clause. They WILL parade your settlement as a victory for them, and you just have to shut your pie-hole.
I've taken it in the past, and will continue to do so, when I am in the right.
The last time I decided to use a lawyer "for the convenience", I ended up having to fire him, then I drafted my own motions, served them on the government and the other parties involved, argued them, won, the government lawyers realized that the government had acted illegally and backed out, filed more motions against the other parties that were left, argued THEM, opposed all their motions and claims, and again won. The amount at stake wasn't trivial - it would have been in the 6 figures. They not only lost, but it turns out that, once the judge did the accounting, it was as I had claimed, and to add insult to injury they had to pay me for the government's errors, without recourse against the government. Plus they were stuck with a 5-figure lawyers bill.
I actually turned a small profit after all my costs. They, on the other hand, left the courtroom swearing so loud... if the judge hadn't already left, they would have been called to the bench for another good spanking.
Most people can argue their own cases, provided they learn the basics. How to object to evidence (lack of foundation, here-say, irrelevance - learn those and you've got most of it covered). How to lay a foundation for any evidence you want to introduce. How to question your witnesses. How to force witnesses for the other side to start screaming at the judge (done that one a few times - always devastating to the other sides' case). How to sneak here-say in through the back door when nobody's looking (been there, done that, just have to beat up on the other side for a few hours non-stop and they won't object to anything for fear of yet another smack-down from someone they thought would be an "amateur":-).
You have the Internet. Use it. There are plenty of motions out there that you can copy, modify to your own needs, and then serve on the other side (and if the other side is represented by a lawyer, you can serve it on them by fax - just keep the fax transmittal record as proof of service when you file the motion with the court).
Just yesterday I transcribed the ACLU motion against the Newark police department. It's a model in terms of how you have to lay out the alleged facts, then the alleged violations (and to remember to include all the alleged facts by reference in each violation), and then the relief sought. You can probably find similar stuff all over the Internet, whether it's for filing a demand to intervene as a 3rd party in a court case (done that, judge agreed, got to cross-examine all parties), a divorce or separation, or modification of a support order, or an injunction enjoining someone to do (or stop doing) something, or anything else you can imagine.
Whatever your beef, you can find the materials on the net to turn it into nice tasty bar-b-que. Problem is, most people are too timid. "Oh, I need a lawyer to handle that." Most of the time, no you don't. So stop whining - you have the tools to literally take the law into your own hands and argue it in court.
The best part? Because you are the one arguing your side, you get to personally confront your opponents - and you know better than anyone else what gets their goats, and when they'll try to embellish the facts to the point where they make a provable lie; they, on the other hand, can't attack you directly - all communications have to be through their lawyer.
Look, give it a try. It's much more fun in person than it sounds.
Slashdot Mirror
That sounds awful! I'd be going through my list of people who deserve a lump of coal to figure out who should receive that dvd!
Look, help is here if you ask. Like I said, opensuse runs fine on both my desktop and laptop, A friend of mine just bought a quad-core and switched from mandriva to opensuse and he likes it - a lot! (win7 came with the machine, so he bought another hd just for linux to make the install easy).
Also, for the ups - don't bother. If the files aren't critical, why waste the energy (a ups is consuming energy even when it's just on standby). I enjoy telling people to yank the power cord on my linux box - they're always hesitant, so I end up doing it. Then I show them how quickly the journal plays back on reboot - a second - as opposed to the "Windows was not properly shut down wait wait wait wait ...go to bathroom, go walk dogs, go read a book" experience.
As for the "power conditioning" claims - your power supply already does that, and in the case of a power failure, you want to unplug the unit from the wall anyway to avoid any surge or instability when power is restored, same as your other home electronics. And for your laptop - it has a better ups built in.
Well, I've seen core bits that are on the high side of $250 each ... but even then, just make a fixture that lets you stack them in a 10x10 configuration (think like a pool ball rack, but square), 10 x, you're done.
Or (again, assuming they're large bites, just lay out 50 side by side, put a couple of heavy blocks on either side, remove the bits, lay out another 50 ... it's not like you have to count the individual bits after the first batch of 50.
Because otherwise, if you're going to count them, you'll get somebody (who, me?) who will come up behind you when you're going "656, 657, 658" and start counting "227, 228, 229, 765, 23, 11-teen, ... hmmm, do you need any help?"
Study showed that 24% of all accounting graduates could not even READ a 2-page memo. So what happens when you get one who can't read AND can't count to 10?
Trust me on this one, there are some things that take more than a page to properly explain.
We had one, after the first couple of weeks people started punching it instead of "punching in". They're supposed to also have a keypad so you can manually enter an access code, since the reader is known to be undependable.
If you want to mess it up, each time you stick your finger on it while it's "registering you" (it needs more than 1 scan), put your finger in a different position, different angle, or even use a different finger (people generally don't notice). After 5 failed attempts, they'll give up. Or, if they "insist" o "helping you" place your finger, tell them that as far as you're concerned, their broken machine is their problem, and that touching you is common assault and you'll file charges.
Why not grab a copy of slackware. If they run fine with that, then it's probably not a hardware problem. If they don't, they you DO have a hardware problem that you don't know about, and you'll find out the hard way if you ever try to reinstall the current os.
But don't expect Ubuntu to do the job. Ubuntu is not anywhere near the top when it comes to contributions to projects like the kernel - they're really in perma-behind-the-times mode.
Everyone else here is telling you that OpenSuse works, and Novell is one of the bigger kernel code contributors - so why not download a bootable iso and try it. It's not like you have to install it, and it makes Ubuntu look like crap.
Then, if you have any problems and you need some help, just email me. I don't bite.
Just goes to show how stupid management can be ... I'd give him an accurate scale and tell him to weigh out the right amount.
I want something more like an 8-1/2 x 14. Turned sideways, it almost exactly accommodates a 1920x1080 HD display. It would be big enough to have more than one person use it at a time, it has room for several terabytes of storage, and it can be made today using a 17" lapotp display panel. Also, it would be able to display 2 pages side-by-side "just like a real book".
If you can't count to 9, you shouldn't be in university. Just as if you can't write a 2-page memo, you shouldn't be in university.
Maybe I can get a grant to study whether it's due to the consumption of Canadian beer, or just colder weather freezing their grey matter.
that's okay - I've got the ultimate, canonical prior art - one-click trolling, dating back to USENET and FIDONET :-)
Two weekends to click on menu -> Software -> YaSt-> System -> Software -> Samba Server, fill in a few boxes?
Well, that explains it - you're colour-blind! Ubuntu - the Great Pumpkin of linux distros.
It is ugly on the screen. It's so ugly it's obscene.
It is ugly every day. It is ugly like old whey.
It is ugly on a boat. It is ugly with a goat.
It is ugly like brown turd. It is ugly as a nerd.
It is ugly, don't you see? It is ugly like green pee.
It is ugly, all the way. It is ugly, this I say!
I will not use it on a boat. I will not use it with a goat.
I will not use it at the fair. I will not use it in my hair.
I will leave it with the nerds. They like it colored like brown turds.
I will leave it, far away, it makes my eyeballs bleed all day.
Seriously? Try OpenSUSE. I've got it running on my laptop just fine, including 2nd display out, webcam, audio, and wifi.
This is the "Use OpenSUSE because it works even the wifi and webcam on my laptop work" thread. Not the "Debian doesn't work because blah blah blah" thread - that's somewhere around the GNAA postings.
Can't type "windows vista virtualization eula" in the pretty box?
Here's one
Let me guess ... you're also the type who leaves one square of toilet paper on the roll rather than change it.
First, a little more ribbing (because you DO have it coming), and then we'll get serious
Obvious question: Did you try it on something reasonably new, or were these old pieces of crap with questionable hard drives, rotting capacitors, etc.?
From your answer - "since it did install on my 2 latest PCs" I'm taking it that the other 4 were in fact more-or-less dumpster-ready.
If you found linux hard to install, you're simply NOT in the position to help anyone else. They'll see you fumbling, and blame linux instead of your "un-1337 5k1lz". Same as if you found setting up a network hard, you're not in a position to help others do the same.
Or a car analogy: If you can barely drive a car, you're not in a position to teach others to drive a car.
Or a pizza analogy: If you've only eaten store-bought, you can't say what a good pizza tastes like.
Or a beer analogy: If you've only drunk American beer, be careful when you travel - you'll find out American beer is "like making love in a canoe - f***ing close to water."
Okay, all ribbing aside - you made two mistakes.
1) "make it like windows". Why? It's only going to confuse them, because they'll come to it with the wrong expectations. They'll have preconceived notions of how something is supposed to work, and get frustrated when it's not the same. That doesn't happen when they go to a mac - they EXPECT it to be different, and they don't get upset when it doesn't work the same way.
2) "help" - you should always be prepared to do a bit of your own research first, and to explain what you already did. You installed it on 2 pcs ... great. WHAT did you install is the obvious first question. And why isn't it "good enough?" And why did you have problems (we probably answered part of that above - unreasonable expectations on obsolete hardware).
BTW, as many others have said, linux is not Windows. Please don't try to make it into Windows. You're doing everyone a disservice, including the end user.
Not to state the obvious, but once the system is up and running, a video driver update shouldn't change his xorg.conf file, so that's a non-issue (and you DID make a copy to WORKING.xorg.conf, right?). And if it does screw it up, he can always change it back. If he can't learn, then he has to wait for you. Those are his options.
Your options include you logging in as a remote user, and with a few keystrokes, fixing his box when he screws things up. Or just deleting the appropriate desktop config file in his home directory and having him log back in - it will reset everything to sane defaults, so he can mess it up again to his hearts content. Learn to use ssh, vi, man, find, mc, and a few other commands, and you'll be good to help him no matter where you are :-)
Gee, do I have to do ALL your thinking for you?
Next: North American Indians file "IP" infringement claim over the collecting of scalps.
Then: Nintendo releases "Custers' Revenge", "Dr. Mario: Smallpox Edition"
[_] some of us aren't cheap - we can buy a second hard disk and devote it to an entire OS;
[_] we don't want to look at that "other OS" more than once every 6 months,
[X] that "other OS" has legal restrictions on virtualization.
[_] What is this "other OS" you speak of? I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
[_] In Soviet Russia, other OS boots YOU!
[X] I don't run "that other OS", you insensitive clod!
Definitely, since this person is hardly in a position to really do much in the way of support:
Not to be too mean, but what's so hard about getting linux to run properly on a PC?
And what's with their preoccupation with making it look like Windows?
Suggestion: either give them opensuse or give them a mac.
We hear what you did, comrade!
In Soviet Russia, laptop tapes YOU!
Wrong punishment.
Chain them to a webcam. With sound. The punishment *should* fit the crime.
Except they are NOT making a system designed for 90%+ of the people.
Do the math.
Let us run the numbers. There are 6.8 billion people, so 10% of that would be 680 million.
BUT WAIT! There are already over a billion personal computers in the world! According to you, hundreds of millions of people have computers that they can't use!
And if you actually went to their site like I did, you'd know that they don't tell you what sort of broadband package you're getting. That alone screams "Warning Warning Will Robinson!"
But if you think it's such a great idea, you're free to subscribe to their software for "only $15 a month" and install it on your "overly complicated PC."
Me, I'd rather spend the money on something else.
Ms. Hudson disagrees with Mr. Hudson.
The operating system doesn't "allow you to write software", bad or good. Garbage software can be written for any platform. And the "PC" is really a netbook that uses their servers to store your data, so you're locked in.
The USB stick contains your log-n credentials, encrypted. Your data is sitting on their box. Vendor lock-in and over-priced.
They're not doing their users any favours.
Barratry requires a pattern of filing multiple lawsuits with the intent to harrass.
First, the threats are not barratry, since nothing is filed, so they can make threats until the sky turns green. Save them up for your day in court - the more ridiculous ones (and if they're "that type", there will be some pretty ridiculous claims) will be useful.
Second, multiple lawsuits in and of themselves are not barratry. You have to show the intent behind them - and they can argue that they were pursuing what they perceived as legit claims. Now, once you get them smacked down in court, if they continue ... that's another question.
Also, many jurisdictions have anti-SLAPP laws. Use the Internet to help take the law into your own hands legally.
You can get back at them by letting them suffer the costs of dragging you into court. Defend yourself. Serve your own counter-motions via fax on their lawyers and keep the transmittal record as proof of service - file it with the clerk at the next hearing.
Look on the internet for sample motions. Modify them as needed for your case and jurisdiction. Run the clock on them. The meter is ticking at the rate of hundreds of dollars an hour for them. Argue for a longer trial than they want - more time. Argue for more discovery. Argue over venue. Argue, argue, argue. When they ultimately lose (you DID pick your battle, right?) they''ll think twice.
Most important - NEVER offer to settle. NEVER accept an offer that includes ANY non-disclosure clause. They WILL parade your settlement as a victory for them, and you just have to shut your pie-hole.
I've taken it in the past, and will continue to do so, when I am in the right.
The last time I decided to use a lawyer "for the convenience", I ended up having to fire him, then I drafted my own motions, served them on the government and the other parties involved, argued them, won, the government lawyers realized that the government had acted illegally and backed out, filed more motions against the other parties that were left, argued THEM, opposed all their motions and claims, and again won. The amount at stake wasn't trivial - it would have been in the 6 figures. They not only lost, but it turns out that, once the judge did the accounting, it was as I had claimed, and to add insult to injury they had to pay me for the government's errors, without recourse against the government. Plus they were stuck with a 5-figure lawyers bill.
I actually turned a small profit after all my costs. They, on the other hand, left the courtroom swearing so loud ... if the judge hadn't already left, they would have been called to the bench for another good spanking.
Most people can argue their own cases, provided they learn the basics. How to object to evidence (lack of foundation, here-say, irrelevance - learn those and you've got most of it covered). How to lay a foundation for any evidence you want to introduce. How to question your witnesses. How to force witnesses for the other side to start screaming at the judge (done that one a few times - always devastating to the other sides' case). How to sneak here-say in through the back door when nobody's looking (been there, done that, just have to beat up on the other side for a few hours non-stop and they won't object to anything for fear of yet another smack-down from someone they thought would be an "amateur" :-).
You have the Internet. Use it. There are plenty of motions out there that you can copy, modify to your own needs, and then serve on the other side (and if the other side is represented by a lawyer, you can serve it on them by fax - just keep the fax transmittal record as proof of service when you file the motion with the court).
Just yesterday I transcribed the ACLU motion against the Newark police department. It's a model in terms of how you have to lay out the alleged facts, then the alleged violations (and to remember to include all the alleged facts by reference in each violation), and then the relief sought. You can probably find similar stuff all over the Internet, whether it's for filing a demand to intervene as a 3rd party in a court case (done that, judge agreed, got to cross-examine all parties), a divorce or separation, or modification of a support order, or an injunction enjoining someone to do (or stop doing) something, or anything else you can imagine.
Whatever your beef, you can find the materials on the net to turn it into nice tasty bar-b-que. Problem is, most people are too timid. "Oh, I need a lawyer to handle that." Most of the time, no you don't. So stop whining - you have the tools to literally take the law into your own hands and argue it in court.
The best part? Because you are the one arguing your side, you get to personally confront your opponents - and you know better than anyone else what gets their goats, and when they'll try to embellish the facts to the point where they make a provable lie; they, on the other hand, can't attack you directly - all communications have to be through their lawyer.
Look, give it a try. It's much more fun in person than it sounds.