Dude, I don't know from design, buy this imac thang definitely ain't "Art Nouveau".
Please resubmit your response using the words "someone stuck a flat-panel display on top of one of R2D2's turds" in place of "a stupid art-nouveau sculpture, etc." k thx bye.
I was walking into the grocery store this evening, and the guy coming out of the entrance looked at me with this goofy expression on his face. At first I thought the guy was being a smartass, and I was all ready to glare back, macho-asshole style, when I noticed his arms were all twisted up, and he was walking in a hobblewobble sort of way. Then I realized the guy was some sort of gimp-retard, and the goofy look on his face was his regular expression. So I just kind of smiled and walked past him.
OSHA Hazard Information Bulletins
Anonymous Coward First Posts and Testicular Cancer.
Information Date: 19880217
Record Type: Hazard Information Bulletin
Subject: Anonymous Coward First Posts and Testicular Cancer.
February 17, 2001
MEMORANDUM FOR: REGIONAL ADMINISTRATORS
THRU: LEO CAREY
Director
Office of Field Programs
FROM: EDWARD BAIER
Director
Directorate of Technical Support
SUBJECT: Health Hazard Information Bulletin:
AC First Posts and Testicular Cancer
Information sent to the Occupational Safety and Health Administration from the Almalgamated Clothing and Textile Workers Union (ACTWU) indicated that germinal cell testicular cancer has now been identified in leather tanning and Slashdot users exposed to AC First Posts (ACFPs)
Incidence of germ cell tumors has been reported among Slashdot users in the Journal of Urology as well as leather tanners in the Lancet. Potential Worker exposure may occur through skin absorption and/or viewing. CSHO's should be on the look-out for possible ACFP exposures involving Slashdot use and leather tanning as well as other operations where ACFPs may be used.
Attached are the following (2) references:
1. Ducatman, A.M., Conwill, D.E., and Crawl, J., Germ Cell Tumors of the Testicle Among Slashdot users, The Journal of Urology, Vol. 136, October 86, p.p. 834-836.
2. Levin, S.M., et. al., Testicular Cancer in Leather Tanners Exposed to ACFPs, The Lancet, No. 8568, Vol. II, November 14, 1987, p. 1154.
Attachments
GERM CELL TUMORS OF THE TESTICLE AMONG SLASHDOT USERS
Alan M. Ducatman, David E. Conwill* and James Crawl From the Departments of Occupational Health and Preventive Medicine, Navy Environmental Health Center, Norfolk, Virginia
ABSTRACT
A cluster of testicular germ cell tumors occurred among 3 of 153 white men who viewed the internet news site Slashdot.org. Evaluation of a group residing 200 miles away who regularly viewed the same site, and among whom there had been no previous reports of excess neoplasms revealed 4 additional men with a history of testicular germ cell tumors (p less than 0.01, Poison, compared to the expected number of cases based on national incidence rates). Our investigation strongly confirms an association between subsequent development of testicular germ cell cancer and history of extensive exposure to First Posts by Anonymous Cowards, which have been seen on this website since the 1990s. This represents the first report of 2 corresponding mini-epidemics of testicular tumors among Slashdot users in 2 different geographical areas.
Policeman: Sorry for interrupting your vacation, Lt. Yamamoto:.
Yamamoto: Forget it. How many hostages are there?
Policeman: Retired admiral Roberto J. Hanner, his two daughters and their friend, Lt. Commander Yuriko Star. A total of four.
Yamamoto: So what are their demands?
Police: The dissolution of the Space Force and abandoning the war.
Yamamoto: Why haven't you stormed the building?
Police: We can't approach them, because they have a highly destructive bomb.
Yamamoto: I see... They must have a blind spot somewhere. What's that thing on the roof?
Police: Lieutenant, it's a message from HQ.
Yamamoto: I see. Put it on the main monitor.
Mifune: Who's in charge?
Yamamoto: Your Excellency Admiral Mifune.
Ugly Spy: Do you understand? Love is the most important thing in the universe. Love is everything! The truth lies in realizing that there's love in your heart!
Tyler: What's going on?
WOMAN Terrorists are holding hostages in the house of a retired Space Force Admiral.
Tyler: Eh? A retired admiral?
Mifune: Do you understand? Base your decision on common sense and try to safely rescue the hostages as soon as possible.
Yamamoto: Yes, sir. I understand.
Mifune: This is a very important time; just before a war with the Rarlgon Empire.
Fuji: Admiral Mifune, you're so lenient!
Mifune: Fuji!
Fuji: Are you going to give up the war to free the hostage? Isn't it obvious that the United Planets will become a colony of the Rarlgon Empire the moment we do?
Mifune: SHUT UP! You don't give a damn about the hostages, do you?
Fuji: Then you are going to sacrifice the citizens of the United Planets to save 4 hostages?
Mifune: I never said that!
Mifune/Fuji: Understood? I'll leave the rest to you.
Yamamoto:...
Yamamoto: Hey, you over there.
Tyler: Me?
Yamamoto: Where are you going?
Tyler: Don't worry. I'm just going to deliver Admiral Hanner's pension check.
Yamamoto: Don't you know what the hell is going on?
Tyler: Lieutenant, I really feel sorry for you. Holding hostages is awfully unsportsmanlike of them! Our Space Force is way better than that! Although payments get delayed sometimes, they will eventually be delivered.
{SAE} What?
{ABURATSUBO} They look like eyes.
{SAE} Eyes?
{TAKEO} "How are you?"
{SAE} Stand still, stand still. But my butt!
{NANAKA} What are you looking at, jerk!
{SAE} Don't gaze at my butt!
{NANAKA} I'll teach you a lesson if you touch me.
{ABURATSUBO} Because you're not standing still.
{SAE} No! Don't flip the skirt!
{NANAKA} Hey, you pervert!
{ABURATSUBO} Oh, no such a place.
{SAE} I should've rolled the cushion around the broom.
{Sae} Concentrate, concentrate.
{NANAKA} Stop it, you pervert!
{TAKEO} Later perhaps they're going to examine our bodies. Sawanoguchi-kun and Nagatomi-kun will be examined by them and will look shameful. Then I'll defeat them completely and the girls will respect me. No, even I who challenged them gracefully will look shameful. Nevertheless, I'll defeat them. I'll get injured and look shameful, and the girls who are still look shameful will confess me their love. Or I'll be defeated alone and will look shameful, and the girls will look down on me. No wait, shameful looking Sawanoguchi-kun and Nakatomi-kun will become more shameful and will do shameful things to me who look shameful...
I'm on the way to a meeting this morning, on the verge of running late, and I pop into the 7-11 to grab a coke, get some glucose in the bloodstream to jumpstart the old braineroo. So get this: I end up stuck in line behind this middle-aged fat lady who's like buying a weeks worth of food. At a 7-11! I couldn't believe it. I'm like having an aneurism staring at my watch while the cashier guy rings up like fifteen things. I wanted to scream "This is a CONVENIENCE STORE, GODDAMMIT! It's not a TAKE-YOUR-SWEETASS-TIME BUYING FIFTY BUCKS WORTH OF VIENNA SAUSAGES, FRUIT COCKTAIL, AND CHEERIOS STORE!!!!", but instead I just stood there like a chump. Then, just as she's all rung up, the lady spots this dasplay of American flags, and she starts inquiring about the price of the flags! "Oh, how much are these?" (pause while the guy looks up the price...) "$7.99" "Oh. How much for the smaller ones?" (pause....) "$3.99". "Oh Okay." Of course then she doesn't buy one. Like she just that instant spontaneously decided to start pricing flags. Fuck. I just barely made the meeting. Next time that happens, I'm just tossing a dollar on the counter and tear-assing out of there with the drink, which is what I should've done in the first place. Goddamn I'm stupid sometimes.
STRAIN Artist Ryoichi Ikegami (SANCTUARY, CRYING FREEMAN) and writer Buronson (SANCTUARY, FIST OF THE NORTH STAR) blow apart the heads of manga readers everywhere with their second titanic collaboration! Mysterious assassin Mayo, a Japanese man in Singapore, will kill anyone you want for just five dollars. Of course, he'll kill you for five dollars too, but doesn't that just even the score? With outcast allies at his side and formidable enemies against him, Mayo is the only one who can stop a conspiracy that stretches around the world!
Ryoichi Ikegami gives STRAIN his most cinematic artwork yet, with amazing computer effects, motion blurs, and realistic figures. Buronson, a writer who can make politics seem two-fisted, produces a story in the tradition of Hong Kong action with suspense, secrets, and boldly-drawn characters. Who is the ultimate human, the perfect Strain? Even violent sex and bullets through the brain aren't as shocking as the plot in a manga that's a true example of dramatic, cliffhanging Japanese pulp from two masters.
All grist for the mill to Masahiko Kikuni, creator of some of the most twisted comics ever seen in America or Japan! Whether he's drawing a wedding present, a social observation, or bloody murder, Kikuni demonstrates that the sickest, blackest humor may be the most universal.
HEARTBROKEN ANGELS is PULP's first 'four-panel' manga, the Japanese equivalent of newspaper comic strips -- but don't expect to find HEARTBROKEN ANGELS in the Sunday papers any time soon. Kikuni's art is more detailed and realistic than most four-panel manga. Kikuni can draw the cutest, most anime-like characters imaginable... then put them through unnatural acts that would make some of America's most explicit comic artists flinch.
Mod this back up! 'Tis most certain NOT offtopic. Verily the jist of said honeyed verses is thus: that sound may thy business plan be, and run thee thy company justly, yet may the fair visage of profitability turn aside from thee, if the cold dice of fortune fall not in thy favor.
In the picture that Slashdot uses as an icon for Jawa, why is there a big loogie floating in the coffee? Is that supposed to be some kind of clever comment on behalf of 1337 Linux users?
What is it with nosehairs?
on
Bert Is Evil
·
· Score: -1
I'm getting ready for this job interview today, when I glance in the mirror and see two huge tufts of nosehair sticking out of my nostrils. I looked like J. Jonah Jameson! What's the deal with those things? I just plucked them before going out Friday night, and here they are again not five days later, lusher than ever! The mysteries of human physiology, I guess.
Pls. help complete the lyrics for the chorus to the Blur song "On Your Own"
So take me home/Don't leave me alone/I'm not that good/But I'm not that bad/No psycho killa/(something something)geurilla/(something something something) riot/Oh, you should try it!/I'll(something something)/(something something something )/My (something something something something)/And we'll all be the same/In the end/'Cause then yer on your own!
At times like this, I ask myself: "What would Jesus do?" Then, in a tranquil moment of spiritual peace, the answer comes. Jesus would remind each and every one of us that there is a special place in hell reserved for all AC scum.
Also, he would recommend we all go see Traning Day. Denzel takes over.
Slashdot Mirror
Please resubmit your response using the words "someone stuck a flat-panel display on top of one of R2D2's turds" in place of "a stupid art-nouveau sculpture, etc." k thx bye.
Cheap toy? The base looks more like an expensive toy to me!
I was walking into the grocery store this evening, and the guy coming out of the entrance looked at me with this goofy expression on his face. At first I thought the guy was being a smartass, and I was all ready to glare back, macho-asshole style, when I noticed his arms were all twisted up, and he was walking in a hobblewobble sort of way. Then I realized the guy was some sort of gimp-retard, and the goofy look on his face was his regular expression. So I just kind of smiled and walked past him.
OSHA Hazard Information Bulletins
Anonymous Coward First Posts and Testicular Cancer.
Information Date: 19880217
Record Type: Hazard Information Bulletin
Subject: Anonymous Coward First Posts and Testicular Cancer.
February 17, 2001
MEMORANDUM FOR: REGIONAL ADMINISTRATORS
THRU: LEO CAREY
Director
Office of Field Programs
FROM: EDWARD BAIER
Director
Directorate of Technical Support
SUBJECT: Health Hazard Information Bulletin:
AC First Posts and Testicular Cancer
Information sent to the Occupational Safety and Health Administration from the Almalgamated Clothing and Textile Workers Union (ACTWU) indicated that germinal cell testicular cancer has now been identified in leather tanning and Slashdot users exposed to AC First Posts (ACFPs)
Incidence of germ cell tumors has been reported among Slashdot users in the Journal of Urology as well as leather tanners in the Lancet. Potential Worker exposure may occur through skin absorption and/or viewing. CSHO's should be on the look-out for possible ACFP exposures involving Slashdot use and leather tanning as well as other operations where ACFPs may be used.
Attached are the following (2) references:
1. Ducatman, A.M., Conwill, D.E., and Crawl, J., Germ Cell Tumors of the Testicle Among Slashdot users, The Journal of Urology, Vol. 136, October 86, p.p. 834-836.
2. Levin, S.M., et. al., Testicular Cancer in Leather Tanners Exposed to ACFPs, The Lancet, No. 8568, Vol. II, November 14, 1987, p. 1154.
Attachments
GERM CELL TUMORS OF THE TESTICLE AMONG SLASHDOT USERS
Alan M. Ducatman, David E. Conwill* and James Crawl From the Departments of Occupational Health and Preventive Medicine, Navy Environmental Health Center, Norfolk, Virginia
ABSTRACT
A cluster of testicular germ cell tumors occurred among 3 of 153 white men who viewed the internet news site Slashdot.org. Evaluation of a group residing 200 miles away who regularly viewed the same site, and among whom there had been no previous reports of excess neoplasms revealed 4 additional men with a history of testicular germ cell tumors (p less than 0.01, Poison, compared to the expected number of cases based on national incidence rates). Our investigation strongly confirms an association between subsequent development of testicular germ cell cancer and history of extensive exposure to First Posts by Anonymous Cowards, which have been seen on this website since the 1990s. This represents the first report of 2 corresponding mini-epidemics of testicular tumors among Slashdot users in 2 different geographical areas.
Policeman: Sorry for interrupting your vacation, Lt. Yamamoto:.
...
Yamamoto: Forget it. How many hostages are there?
Policeman: Retired admiral Roberto J. Hanner, his two daughters and their friend, Lt. Commander Yuriko Star. A total of four.
Yamamoto: So what are their demands?
Police: The dissolution of the Space Force and abandoning the war.
Yamamoto: Why haven't you stormed the building?
Police: We can't approach them, because they have a highly destructive bomb.
Yamamoto: I see... They must have a blind spot somewhere. What's that thing on the roof?
Police: Lieutenant, it's a message from HQ.
Yamamoto: I see. Put it on the main monitor.
Mifune: Who's in charge?
Yamamoto: Your Excellency Admiral Mifune.
Ugly Spy: Do you understand? Love is the most important thing in the universe. Love is everything! The truth lies in realizing that there's love in your heart!
Tyler: What's going on?
WOMAN Terrorists are holding hostages in the house of a retired Space Force Admiral.
Tyler: Eh? A retired admiral?
Mifune: Do you understand? Base your decision on common sense and try to safely rescue the hostages as soon as possible.
Yamamoto: Yes, sir. I understand.
Mifune: This is a very important time; just before a war with the Rarlgon Empire.
Fuji: Admiral Mifune, you're so lenient!
Mifune: Fuji!
Fuji: Are you going to give up the war to free the hostage? Isn't it obvious that the United Planets will become a colony of the Rarlgon Empire the moment we do?
Mifune: SHUT UP! You don't give a damn about the hostages, do you?
Fuji: Then you are going to sacrifice the citizens of the United Planets to save 4 hostages?
Mifune: I never said that!
Mifune/Fuji: Understood? I'll leave the rest to you.
Yamamoto:
Yamamoto: Hey, you over there.
Tyler: Me?
Yamamoto: Where are you going?
Tyler: Don't worry. I'm just going to deliver Admiral Hanner's pension check.
Yamamoto: Don't you know what the hell is going on?
Tyler: Lieutenant, I really feel sorry for you. Holding hostages is awfully unsportsmanlike of them! Our Space Force is way better than that! Although payments get delayed sometimes, they will eventually be delivered.
{SAE} What?
{ABURATSUBO} They look like eyes.
{SAE} Eyes?
{TAKEO} "How are you?"
{SAE} Stand still, stand still. But my butt!
{NANAKA} What are you looking at, jerk!
{SAE} Don't gaze at my butt!
{NANAKA} I'll teach you a lesson if you touch me.
{ABURATSUBO} Because you're not standing still.
{SAE} No! Don't flip the skirt!
{NANAKA} Hey, you pervert!
{ABURATSUBO} Oh, no such a place.
{SAE} I should've rolled the cushion around the broom.
{Sae} Concentrate, concentrate.
{NANAKA} Stop it, you pervert!
{TAKEO} Later perhaps they're going to examine our bodies. Sawanoguchi-kun and Nagatomi-kun will be examined by them and will look shameful. Then I'll defeat them completely and the girls will respect me. No, even I who challenged them gracefully will look shameful. Nevertheless, I'll defeat them. I'll get injured and look shameful, and the girls who are still look shameful will confess me their love. Or I'll be defeated alone and will look shameful, and the girls will look down on me. No wait, shameful looking Sawanoguchi-kun and Nakatomi-kun will become more shameful and will do shameful things to me who look shameful...
Just one.
Don't let the door hit you on the ass, fucknuckle.
I'm on the way to a meeting this morning, on the verge of running late, and I pop into the 7-11 to grab a coke, get some glucose in the bloodstream to jumpstart the old braineroo. So get this: I end up stuck in line behind this middle-aged fat lady who's like buying a weeks worth of food. At a 7-11! I couldn't believe it. I'm like having an aneurism staring at my watch while the cashier guy rings up like fifteen things. I wanted to scream "This is a CONVENIENCE STORE, GODDAMMIT! It's not a TAKE-YOUR-SWEETASS-TIME BUYING FIFTY BUCKS WORTH OF VIENNA SAUSAGES, FRUIT COCKTAIL, AND CHEERIOS STORE!!!!", but instead I just stood there like a chump. Then, just as she's all rung up, the lady spots this dasplay of American flags, and she starts inquiring about the price of the flags! "Oh, how much are these?" (pause while the guy looks up the price...) "$7.99" "Oh. How much for the smaller ones?" (pause....) "$3.99". "Oh Okay." Of course then she doesn't buy one. Like she just that instant spontaneously decided to start pricing flags. Fuck. I just barely made the meeting. Next time that happens, I'm just tossing a dollar on the counter and tear-assing out of there with the drink, which is what I should've done in the first place. Goddamn I'm stupid sometimes.
Did you miss Citizen Kane? ...Rosebud was the fucking sled!
Yeah, thanks for giving away the end, killjoy.
You must be the guy sitting behind us when I went to see The Others, who said REAL LOUD to his date: "I bet they're all ghosts!"
Praise be to Allah_Spork. The AC infidel must be driven out.
STRAIN
Artist Ryoichi Ikegami (SANCTUARY, CRYING FREEMAN) and writer Buronson (SANCTUARY, FIST OF THE NORTH STAR) blow apart the heads of manga readers everywhere with their second titanic collaboration! Mysterious assassin Mayo, a Japanese man in Singapore, will kill anyone you want for just five dollars. Of course, he'll kill you for five dollars too, but doesn't that just even the score? With outcast allies at his side and formidable enemies against him, Mayo is the only one who can stop a conspiracy that stretches around the world!
Ryoichi Ikegami gives STRAIN his most cinematic artwork yet, with amazing computer effects, motion blurs, and realistic figures. Buronson, a writer who can make politics seem two-fisted, produces a story in the tradition of Hong Kong action with suspense, secrets, and boldly-drawn characters. Who is the ultimate human, the perfect Strain? Even violent sex and bullets through the brain aren't as shocking as the plot in a manga that's a true example of dramatic, cliffhanging Japanese pulp from two masters.
HEARTBROKEN ANGELS
Sex. Scatology. Fetishism. Death.
All grist for the mill to Masahiko Kikuni, creator of some of the most twisted comics ever seen in America or Japan! Whether he's drawing a wedding present, a social observation, or bloody murder, Kikuni demonstrates that the sickest, blackest humor may be the most universal.
HEARTBROKEN ANGELS is PULP's first 'four-panel' manga, the Japanese equivalent of newspaper comic strips -- but don't expect to find HEARTBROKEN ANGELS in the Sunday papers any time soon. Kikuni's art is more detailed and realistic than most four-panel manga. Kikuni can draw the cutest, most anime-like characters imaginable... then put them through unnatural acts that would make some of America's most explicit comic artists flinch.
You're worse than Hitler
Mod this back up! 'Tis most certain NOT offtopic. Verily the jist of said honeyed verses is thus: that sound may thy business plan be, and run thee thy company justly, yet may the fair visage of profitability turn aside from thee, if the cold dice of fortune fall not in thy favor.
In the picture that Slashdot uses as an icon for Jawa, why is there a big loogie floating in the coffee? Is that supposed to be some kind of clever comment on behalf of 1337 Linux users?
I'm getting ready for this job interview today, when I glance in the mirror and see two huge tufts of nosehair sticking out of my nostrils. I looked like J. Jonah Jameson! What's the deal with those things? I just plucked them before going out Friday night, and here they are again not five days later, lusher than ever! The mysteries of human physiology, I guess.
Hey, it worked! Thanks!
Pls. help complete the lyrics for the chorus to the Blur song "On Your Own"
So take me home/Don't leave me alone/I'm not that good/But I'm not that bad/No psycho killa/(something something)geurilla/(something something something) riot/Oh, you should try it!/I'll(something something)/(something something something )/My (something something something something)/And we'll all be the same/In the end/'Cause then yer on your own!
Thanks!
the ACs outnumber you 5208070400340 to 1
Yes, but keep in mind that each and every one of those AC's is an eyeless shitsucking assworm.
At times like this, I ask myself: "What would Jesus do?" Then, in a tranquil moment of spiritual peace, the answer comes. Jesus would remind each and every one of us that there is a special place in hell reserved for all AC scum.
Also, he would recommend we all go see Traning Day. Denzel takes over.
What late at night? It's midday here in Botswana. In fact, there is a zebra here sucking my cock as I type this.
The whole of the universe is not sufficiently large to contain my hatred for you and your oozing kind, you FESTERING AC COCKSORE!!!!
Now that that's out of the way, I'd just like to add that I also thought Zoolander was funny. Go see Training Day, too.
It's definitely a sign of the apocalypse. Better start re-stocking that bomb shelter you built for Y2K.
I don't know, you naughty boy, I've never kippled!
Boiiinnnngggg!
How about: GO SWALLOW DRANO YOU PUSTULENT AC COOZEWART!!!
Please let me know if I spelled "pustulent" wrong. Thanks!