1) Purchase an enterprise pattern book 2) Skim it and learn the jargon 3) Repeat jargon to anyone who will listen until the powers that be put you in charge of a really large project 4) Keep promising success until 80% of the effort is expanded 5) Change jobs 6) Go to 1)
Learning from research into human mid-life crisis
on
Microsoft At Middle Age
·
· Score: 2, Funny
Mid-Life Crisis Symptoms
During his 40's, if a man or women has been hard-working, the fruits of their labors-a home and family, material possessions-will probably surround them. Then, before anything dramatic happens, small nagging doubts may appear, perhaps followed by a series of dramatic, apparently irrational events leading up to great change. During it all, men and women ask themselves questions such as: Is this all there is? Am I a failure? Symptoms and behaviors during mid-life crisis can range from mild to severe, including:
- boredom and exhaustion, or frantic energy --> MS will start releasing more and more software (like a new OS every other year)
- self-questioning --> media will be flooded with samples of internal MS e-mails warning of Linux supremacy
- daydreaming -->MS will start promising that US Government will write digital rights management into the constitution
- irritability, unexpected anger --> MS will increasingly blast Linux and compare it to communism and anti-capitalism
- acting on alcohol, drug, food, or other compulsions --> MS "campus" will turn into a real campus as in "Animal House"
- greatly decreased or increased sexual desire --> MS will increasingly want to "interface" with non PC devices like handhelds, toasters, fridges, phones, etc...
- sexual affairs, especially with someone much younger --> MS will court
- greatly decreased or increased ambition. --> MS will counter sue all the continental USA on made up grounds... after all a week offense is a much better then a great defense.
We have COBOL / Mainframe applications here that are at least 25 Billion years old...
And I am 99.99999999999999% sure of that!
Star Wars VII : Attack of the Drones!
on
Droning On
·
· Score: 1
Why do I think that civilian drones will be less secure then the military version?
Now if a pilot wants to crash a big plane into a target he/she must most likely commit suicide. Lucky for the world not that many pilots are ready to do this... On the other hand crashing a big drone into a target from a remote facility requires a lot less commitment.
I don't think big civilian drones are a good idea.
One day I will wake up and unable to open the electronically controlled front door to my condo I will have to call North East America Inc support center....
me: dial phone: Welcome to North East America Inc... your call is important to us... etc.. press 01 for support with your phone; 02 for support with cable; 03 for support with your internet; 04 for support with your climate control;.....etc.... 99 if you cannot open your door.
me: 99... wait... phone: sir, your buildings central waste monitoring facility has detected trace amounts of marijuana. as you know drugs fund terrorism and terrorism is un-American. as a precaution we have temporarily detained all occupants pending an investigation
me: what!... I am going to e-mail my Congressman about this... phone: sir, the central e-mail monitoring facility has detected that your e-mails contain words like "high", "da bomb", and "explosive" and may refer to un-American activities and therefore your e-mail has been suspended...
me: nuts!, I am moving out west! phone: sir, we have logged your request and are sending you a Western America Inc transfer form. There is a $20,000 transfer fee.
me: thats it I am moving to Canada! phone: sir, only terrorists live in Canada... please stand by security services are on the way...we have restricted your TV to receive Lawyer commercials you may wish to watch while you wait... have a nice day.
I think we should be able to launch denial of service attacks against clients of spam senders.
It would go like this: 1) You get a spam for www.make-million-doing-nothin.com
Option 1) 2) It includes a way to remove yourself from the mailing list. 3) You notify them that you want to be removed. 4) You get another spam for www.make-million-doing-nothin.com 5) You launch a denial of service attack against www.make-million-doing-nothin.com
Option 2) 2) The spam does not include an opt out method. 3) Go directly to denial of service attack against www.make-million-doing-nothin.com
Something similar could be done against phone numbers. I can get my computer to call and hang up all day long.
Slashdot Mirror
IMHO any IT management book that does not have a top level heading "Writing a successful IT business case" is not worth the paper it is written on....
Day 1: Can you hear me now? ...
Day 2: Can you hear me now?
Day 3: Can you hear me now?
Day 500: Can you hear me now?
A bank employee was fired for combining his account with that of a customer with a much higher balance.
When asked about the reason for his actions he simply stated that the combined balanced looked much more dramatic on his bank statements.
I have been a fan of slashdot for quite some time and I have noticed a HUGE increase of pro M$ information and slant in recent times.
Whats up with that?
And all the adds are either M$ or Intel. Is this really becoming the best target market for M$ products?
1) Purchase an enterprise pattern book
2) Skim it and learn the jargon
3) Repeat jargon to anyone who will listen until the powers that be put you in charge of a really large project
4) Keep promising success until 80% of the effort is expanded
5) Change jobs
6) Go to 1)
Mid-Life Crisis
Symptoms
During his 40's, if a man or women has been hard-working, the fruits of their labors-a home and family, material possessions-will probably surround them. Then, before anything dramatic happens, small nagging doubts may appear, perhaps followed by a series of dramatic, apparently irrational events leading up to great change. During it all, men and women ask themselves questions such as: Is this all there is? Am I a failure? Symptoms and behaviors during mid-life crisis can range from mild to severe, including:
- boredom and exhaustion, or frantic energy
--> MS will start releasing more and more software (like a new OS every other year)
- self-questioning
--> media will be flooded with samples of internal MS e-mails warning of Linux supremacy
- daydreaming
-->MS will start promising that US Government will write digital rights management into the constitution
- irritability, unexpected anger
--> MS will increasingly blast Linux and compare it to communism and anti-capitalism
- acting on alcohol, drug, food, or other compulsions
--> MS "campus" will turn into a real campus as in "Animal House"
- greatly decreased or increased sexual desire
--> MS will increasingly want to "interface" with non PC devices like handhelds, toasters, fridges, phones, etc...
- sexual affairs, especially with someone much younger
--> MS will court
- greatly decreased or increased ambition.
--> MS will counter sue all the continental USA on made up grounds... after all a week offense is a much better then a great defense.
from:
Men's Health
you are not good enough...
just a thought...
How are you going to get even?
or if I was a lawyer:
"Imagine a person in your situation. How would they get even?"
We have COBOL / Mainframe applications here that are at least 25 Billion years old...
And I am 99.99999999999999% sure of that!
Why do I think that civilian drones will be less secure then the military version?
Now if a pilot wants to crash a big plane into a target he/she must most likely commit suicide. Lucky for the world not that many pilots are ready to do this... On the other hand crashing a big drone into a target from a remote facility requires a lot less commitment.
I don't think big civilian drones are a good idea.
One day I will wake up and unable to open the electronically controlled front door to my condo I will have to call North East America Inc support center....
.....etc.... 99 if you cannot open your door.
... I am going to e-mail my Congressman about this...
me: dial
phone: Welcome to North East America Inc... your call is important to us... etc.. press 01 for support with your phone; 02 for support with cable; 03 for support with your internet; 04 for support with your climate control;
me: 99... wait...
phone: sir, your buildings central waste monitoring facility has detected trace amounts of marijuana. as you know drugs fund terrorism and terrorism is un-American. as a precaution we have temporarily detained all occupants pending an investigation
me: what!
phone: sir, the central e-mail monitoring facility has detected that your e-mails contain words like "high", "da bomb", and "explosive" and may refer to un-American activities and therefore your e-mail has been suspended...
me: nuts!, I am moving out west!
phone: sir, we have logged your request and are sending you a Western America Inc transfer form. There is a $20,000 transfer fee.
me: thats it I am moving to Canada!
phone: sir, only terrorists live in Canada... please stand by security services are on the way...we have restricted your TV to receive Lawyer commercials you may wish to watch while you wait... have a nice day.
I think we should be able to launch denial of service attacks against clients of spam senders.
It would go like this:
1) You get a spam for www.make-million-doing-nothin.com
Option 1)
2) It includes a way to remove yourself from the mailing list.
3) You notify them that you want to be removed.
4) You get another spam for www.make-million-doing-nothin.com
5) You launch a denial of service attack against www.make-million-doing-nothin.com
Option 2)
2) The spam does not include an opt out method.
3) Go directly to denial of service attack against www.make-million-doing-nothin.com
Something similar could be done against phone numbers. I can get my computer to call and hang up all day long.
Hey I have a few questions I would like to ask the spammers directly -- could you please post their e-mail address?
Thanks!