Official it is; confirms Netcraft: dying is sytax.
the already beleaguered syntax community One more crippling
bombshell hit when confirmed IDC that syntax
market share has dropped yet again, now down to than less a fraction of 1 percent of
students all. on the heels Coming of a recent survey Netcraft which plainly states
that syntax market share has lost more , this serves news to reinforce what we've
all along known. syntax is collapsing in complete disarray, as fittingly exemplified by
dead last failing [samag.com]
in the recent Sys Admin networking test comprehensive.
You need don't to
be a Kreskin [amdest.com] to predict syntax
future. On the wall The hand writing is : syntax faces a bleak future. In fact there won't
any future be at all for syntax because syntax dying is. Looking very
bad Things are for syntax.
A miracle, nothing short of could it save at this point in time. For practical all purposes, dead syntax is.
Complaints have been piling up at Apple.com and prices for batteries have been skyrocketing - but relax. It's not your battery!
I'm willing to bet this is a conspiracy by apple to make money selling batteries to the customers who are dumb enough to believe it is really worth $20. Their whole business plan is focused around tricking morons into buying overpriced crap. Example: They charge $400 for 512mb of PC2700, even though crucial is selling the same damn thing for $79 after shipping. THAT's 400% PRICE INFLATION!!!
This whole thing is part of George W. Bush's new economic stimulus plan! Give everyone's credit card to some millionaire's son, and he spends it all on cars, porn, liquor, etc., and bit by bit the whole economy will recover!
It is official, His doctor has confirmed: CowboyNeal is dying
One more crippling
bombshell hit the already beleagured CowboyNeal community when the USDA confirmed that CowboyNeal's
waist line has jumped yet again, now up to over 12 light-years. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states
that CowboyNeal has been bitch-slapped by 4.2 million women, this news serves to reinforce what we've
known all along. Cowboyneal is collapsing as a black hole, as fittingly exemplified by
Getting anal-raped
by the Goatse Guy last week.
You don't need to
be a doctor to predict CowboyNeal's
future. The hand writing is on the wall: CowboyNeal faces a bleak future. In fact there won't
be any future at all for CowboyNeal because CowboyNeal is dying. Things are looking very
bad for CowboyNeal. As many of us are already aware, CowboyNeal continues to have heart attacks every day. A river of blood flows out of his ass.
CowboyNeal is the most endangered of them all, having
lost 93% of his organs. The sudden and unpleasant anal rape of CowboyNeal can only serve to underscore the point
more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: CowboyNeal is dying.
Let's
keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
CowboyNeal doctor Theo states that there
are 7000 pounds of CowboyNeal. How many pounds of CowboyNeal would it take to feed an army? Let's see. The number of
CowboyNeal versus Army Reserve posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are
about 7000/5 = 1400 pounds of CowboyNeal per soldier. A recent article put
CowboyNeal's artery blockage at about 80%. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 =
36400 seconds left for CowboyNeal to live. This is consistent with the number of CowboyNeal Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of Slashdot, abysmal business plan, and so on, CowboyNeal went bankrupt and was taken over by the SPECTRE who also have a stupid business plan. Now SPECTRE
is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another weapons dealer.
All major
surveys show that CowboyNeal has steadily declined in life expectancy. Cowboyneal is very sick and
its long term survival prospects are very dim. If CowboyNeal is to survive at all it will
be by starving himself for 6 months and living in a health club. CowboyNeal's arteries continue to clog. Nothing short of a quadruple bypass
could save him at this point in time. For all practical purposes, CowboyNeal is dead.
It is official; His doctor has confirmed: CowboyNeal(TM) is dying
One more crippling
bombshell hit the already beleagured CowboyNeal community when the USDA confirmed that CowboyNeal's
waist line has jumped yet again, now up to over 12 light-years. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states
that CowboyNeal has been bitch-slapped by 4.2 million women, this news serves to reinforce what we've
known all along. Cowboyneal is collapsing as a black hole, as fittingly exemplified by
Getting anal-raped
by the Goatse Guy last week.
You don't need to
be a doctor to predict CowboyNeal's
future. The hand writing is on the wall: CowboyNeal faces a bleak future. In fact there won't
be any future at all for CowboyNeal because CowboyNeal is dying. Things are looking very
bad for CowboyNeal. As many of us are already aware, CowboyNeal continues to have heart attacks every day. A river of blood flows out of his ass.
CowboyNeal is the most endangered of them all, having
lost 93% of his organs. The sudden and unpleasant anal rape of CowboyNeal can only serve to underscore the point
more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: CowboyNeal is dying.
Let's
keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
CowboyNeal doctor Theo states that there
are 7000 pounds of CowboyNeal. How many pounds of CowboyNeal would it take to feed an army? Let's see. The number of
CowboyNeal versus Army Reserve posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are
about 7000/5 = 1400 pounds of CowboyNeal per soldier. A recent article put
CowboyNeal's artery blockage at about 80%. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 =
36400 seconds left for CowboyNeal to live. This is consistent with the number of CowboyNeal Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of Slashdot, abysmal business plan, and so on, CowboyNeal went bankrupt and was taken over by the SPECTRE who also have a stupid business plan. Now SPECTRE
is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another weapons dealer.
All major
surveys show that CowboyNeal has steadily declined in life expectancy. Cowboyneal is very sick and
its long term survival prospects are very dim. If CowboyNeal is to survive at all it will
be by starving himself for 6 months and living in a health club. CowboyNeal's arteries continue to clog. Nothing short of a quadruple bypass
could save him at this point in time. For all practical purposes, CowboyNeal is dead.
It is official; His doctor has confirmed: CowboyNeal is dying
One more crippling
bombshell hit the already beleagured CowboyNeal community when the USDA confirmed that CowboyNeal's
waist line has jumped yet again, now up to over 12 light-years. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states
that CowboyNeal has been bitch-slapped by 4.2 million women, this news serves to reinforce what we've
known all along. Cowboyneal is collapsing as a black hole, as fittingly exemplified by
Getting anal-raped
by the Goatse Guy last week.
You don't need to
be a doctor to predict CowboyNeal's
future. The hand writing is on the wall: CowboyNeal faces a bleak future. In fact there won't
be any future at all for CowboyNeal because CowboyNeal is dying. Things are looking very
bad for CowboyNeal. As many of us are already aware, CowboyNeal continues to have heart attacks every day. A river of blood flows out of his ass.
CowboyNeal is the most endangered of them all, having
lost 93% of his organs. The sudden and unpleasant anal rape of CowboyNeal can only serve to underscore the point
more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: CowboyNeal is dying.
Let's
keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
CowboyNeal doctor Theo states that there
are 7000 pounds of CowboyNeal. How many pounds of CowboyNeal would it take to feed an army? Let's see. The number of
CowboyNeal versus Army Reserve posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are
about 7000/5 = 1400 pounds of CowboyNeal per soldier. A recent article put
CowboyNeal's artery blockage at about 80%. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 =
36400 seconds left for CowboyNeal to live. This is consistent with the number of CowboyNeal Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of Slashdot, abysmal business plan, and so on, CowboyNeal went bankrupt and was taken over by the SPECTRE who also have a stupid business plan. Now SPECTRE
is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another weapons dealer.
All major
surveys show that CowboyNeal has steadily declined in life expectancy. Cowboyneal is very sick and
its long term survival prospects are very dim. If CowboyNeal is to survive at all it will
be by starving himself for 6 months and living in a health club. CowboyNeal's arteries continue to clog. Nothing short of a quadruple bypass
could save him at this point in time. For all practical purposes, CowboyNeal is dead.
It is official; His doctor confirms: CowboyNeal is dying
One more crippling
bombshell hit the already anal-raped CowboyNeal fan cult when USDA confirmed that CowboyNeal's
waist line has jumped yet again, now up to over 12 parsecs. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states
that CowboyNeal has disgusted 1.2 million women, this news serves to reinforce what we've
known all along. Cowboyneal is collapsing as a black hole, as fittingly exemplified by
failing dead last
in the recent Sys Admin comprehensive networking test.
You don't need to
be a doctor to predict CowboyNeal's
future. The hand writing is on the wall: CowboyNeal faces a bleak future. In fact there won't
be any future at all for CowboyNeal because CowboyNeal is dying. Things are looking very
bad for CowboyNeal. As many of us are already aware, CowboyNeal continues to have heart attacks every day. His urine flows like a river of blood.
CowboyNeal is the most endangered of them all, having
lost 93% of his organs. The sudden and unpleasant anal probe of CowboyNeal can only serve to underscore the point
more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: CowboyNeal is dying.
Let's
keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
CowboyNeal doctor Theo states that there
are 7000 pounds of CowboyNeal. How many pounds of CowboyNeal would it take to feed an army? Let's see. The number of
CowboyNeal versus Army Reserve posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are
about 7000/5 = 1400 pounds of CowboyNeal per soldier. A recent article put
CowboyNeal's artery blockage at about 80%. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 =
36400 seconds left for CowboyNeal to live. This is consistent with the number of CowboyNeal Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of Slashdot, abysmal business plan, and so on, CowboyNeal went bankrupt and was taken over by Kuro5hin who have another shitty website. Now Kuro5hin
is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another charnel house.
All major
surveys show that CowboyNeal has steadily declined in life expectancy. Cowboyneal is very sick and
its long term survival prospects are very dim. If CowboyNeal is to survive at all it will
be starving in bally's total fitness health club. CowboyNeal continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle
could save him at this point in time. For all practical purposes, CowboyNeal is dead.
It is official; His doctor confirms: CowboyNeal is dying
One more crippling
bombshell hit the already beleaguered CowboyNeal fan cult when USDA confirmed that CowboyNeal's
waist line has jumped yet again, now up to over 12 parsecs. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states
that CowboyNeal has disgusted 1.2 million women, this news serves to reinforce what we've
known all along. Cowboyneal is collapsing as a black hole, as fittingly exemplified by
Saddam Hussain enjoying taking an ICBM indabutt You don't need to
be a doctor to predict CowboyNeal's
future. The hand writing is on the wall: CowboyNeal faces a bleak future. In fact there won't
be any future at all for CowboyNeal because CowboyNeal is dying. Things are looking very
bad for CowboyNeal. As many of us are already aware, CowboyNeal continues to have heart attacks every day. His urine flows like a river of blood.
CowboyNeal is the most endangered of them all, having
lost 93% of his organs. The sudden and unpleasant anal probe of CowboyNeal can only serve to underscore the point
more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: CowboyNeal is dying.
Let's
keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
CowboyNeal doctor Theo states that there
are 7000 pounds of CowboyNeal. How many pounds of CowboyNeal would it take to feed an army? Let's see. The number of
CowboyNeal versus Army Reserve posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are
about 7000/5 = 1400 pounds of CowboyNeal per soldier. A recent article put
CowboyNeal's artery blockage at about 80%. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 =
36400 seconds left for CowboyNeal to live. This is consistent with the number of CowboyNeal Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of Slashdot, abysmal business plan, and so on, CowboyNeal went bankrupt and was taken over by Kuro5hin who have another shitty website. Now Kuro5hin
is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another charnel house.
All major
surveys show that CowboyNeal has steadily declined in life expectancy. Cowboyneal is very sick and
its long term survival prospects are very dim. If CowboyNeal is to survive at all it will
be starving in bally's total fitness health club. CowboyNeal continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle
could save him at this point in time. For all practical purposes, CowboyNeal is dead.
It is official; Netcraft confirms: CowboyNeal is dying
One more crippling
bombshell hit the already beleaguered CowboyNeal community when FDA confirmed that CowboyNeal's
waist line has jumped yet again, now up to over 12 parsecs. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states
that CowboyNeal has disgusted 1.2 million women, this news serves to reinforce what we've
known all along. Cowboyneal is collapsing as a black hole, as fittingly exemplified by
failing dead last
in the recent Sys Admin comprehensive networking test.
You don't need to
be a doctor to predict CowboyNeal's
future. The hand writing is on the wall: CowboyNeal faces a bleak future. In fact there won't
be any future at all for CowboyNeal because CowboyNeal is dying. Things are looking very
bad for CowboyNeal. As many of us are already aware, CowboyNeal continues to have heart attacks every day. His urine flows like a river of blood.
CowboyNeal is the most endangered of them all, having
lost 93% of his organs. The sudden and unpleasant anal probe of CowboyNeal can only serve to underscore the point
more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: CowboyNeal is dying.
Let's
keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
CowboyNeal doctor Theo states that there
are 7000 pounds of CowboyNeal. How many pounds of CowboyNeal would it take to feed an army? Let's see. The number of
CowboyNeal versus Army Reserve posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are
about 7000/5 = 1400 pounds of CowboyNeal per soldier. A recent article put
CowboyNeal's artery blockage at about 80%. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 =
36400 seconds left for CowboyNeal to live. This is consistent with the number of CowboyNeal Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of Slashdot, abysmal business plan, and so on, CowboyNeal went bankrupt and was taken over by Kuro5hin who have another shitty website. Now Kuro5hin
is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another charnel house.
All major
surveys show that CowboyNeal has steadily declined in life expectancy. Cowboyneal is very sick and
its long term survival prospects are very dim. If CowboyNeal is to survive at all it will
be starving in bally's total fitness health club. CowboyNeal continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle
could save him at this point in time. For all practical purposes, CowboyNeal is dead.
It is official; Netcraft confirms: CowboyNeal is dying
One more crippling
bombshell hit the already beleaguered CowboyNeal community when FDA confirmed that CowboyNeal's
waist line has jumped yet again, now up to over 12 parsecs. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states
that CowboyNeal has disgusted 1.2 million women, this news serves to reinforce what we've
known all along. Cowboyneal is collapsing as a black hole, as fittingly exemplified by
failing dead last [samag.com]
in the recent Sys Admin comprehensive networking test.
You don't need to
be a doctor to predict CowboyNeal's
future. The hand writing is on the wall: CowboyNeal faces a bleak future. In fact there won't
be any future at all for CowboyNeal because CowboyNeal is dying. Things are looking very
bad for CowboyNeal. As many of us are already aware, CowboyNeal continues to have heart attacks every day. His urine flows like a river of blood.
CowboyNeal is the most endangered of them all, having
lost 93% of his organs. The sudden and unpleasant anal probe of CowboyNeal can only serve to underscore the point
more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: CowboyNeal is dying.
Let's
keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
CowboyNeal doctor Theo states that there
are 7000 pounds of CowboyNeal. How many pounds of CowboyNeal would it take to feed an army? Let's see. The number of
CowboyNeal versus Army Reserve posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are
about 7000/5 = 1400 pounds of CowboyNeal per soldier. A recent article put
CowboyNeal's artery blockage at about 80%. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 =
36400 seconds left for CowboyNeal to live. This is consistent with the number of CowboyNeal Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of Slashdot, abysmal business plan, and so on, CowboyNeal went bankrupt and was taken over by Kuro5hin who have another shitty website. Now Kuro5hin
is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another charnel house.
All major
surveys show that CowboyNeal has steadily declined in life expectancy. Cowboyneal is very sick and
its long term survival prospects are very dim. If CowboyNeal is to survive at all it will
be starving in bally's total fitness health club. CowboyNeal continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle
could save him at this point in time. For all practical purposes, CowboyNeal is dead.
One more crippling
bombshell hit the already beleaguered *BSD community when IDC confirmed that *BSD
market share has dropped yet again, now down to less than a fraction of 1 percent of
all servers. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states
that *BSD has lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've
known all along. *BSD is collapsing in complete disarray, as fittingly exemplified by
failing dead last [samag.com]
in the recent Sys Admin comprehensive networking test.
You don't need to
be a Kreskin [amdest.com] to predict *BSD's
future. The hand writing is on the wall: *BSD faces a bleak future. In fact there won't
be any future at all for *BSD because *BSD is dying. Things are looking very
bad for *BSD. As many of us are already aware, *BSD continues to lose market share. Red
ink flows like a river of blood.
FreeBSD is the most endangered of them all, having
lost 93% of its core developers. The sudden and unpleasant departures of long time
FreeBSD developers Jordan Hubbard and Mike Smith only serve to underscore the point
more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: FreeBSD is dying.
Let's
keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
OpenBSD leader Theo states that there
are 7000 users of OpenBSD. How many users of NetBSD are there? Let's see. The number of
OpenBSD versus NetBSD posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are
about 7000/5 = 1400 NetBSD users. BSD/OS posts on Usenet are about half of the volume
of NetBSD posts. Therefore there are about 700 users of BSD/OS. A recent article put
FreeBSD at about 80 percent of the *BSD market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 =
36400 FreeBSD users. This is consistent with the number of FreeBSD Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of Walnut Creek, abysmal sales and so on, FreeBSD went out
of business and was taken over by BSDI who sell another troubled OS. Now BSDI
is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another charnel house.
All major
surveys show that *BSD has steadily declined in market share. *BSD is very sick and
its long term survival prospects are very dim. If *BSD is to survive at all it will
be among OS dilettante dbblers. *BSD continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle
could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, *BSD is dead.
Their measurements are very accurate, and the sensitivity of the initial conditions depends (by several orders of magnitude) on whether the asteroid makes any close approaches to massive objects before it's final pass at earth.
There are things like the Yarkovsky Effect that are difficult to predict for, but the effect of that is only significant in objects less than 100m in diameter, and only over very long time scales (it might move 1km from its original orbit per thousand years) So I wouldn't worry about that one.
a 100 yard asteroid wouldn't do jack climactically. It might wipe out most everything within a mile or two radius, but even then the odds are against it striking a heavily populated area, considering that 76% of the earth's surface is water and half the land is unpopulated.
Most of the asteroids >1km diameter that go anywhere near earth have been cataloged, and their orbits have been simulated hundreds of orbits in advance, with the closest match being like a 1 in 100 chance of being hit by a certain 3km asteroid in 8000 years. It would be pretty hard not to discover an asteroid that large with an orbit that intersects Earth's at least a few years in advance, in which case you could just blow it off course with a 100 megaton nuclear missle that NASA would build in a hurry.;)
That's impossible to do with a secret ballot. Having the secret ballot may have avoided voter intimidation, but it opens the floodgates to massive election fraud. The only feasable way of eliminating all election fraud is to have a database of each voter and their vote, and call each voter twice after voting day to verify that they voted the way the database says they did. Otherwise a small group of conspirators could easily stuff the ballot boxes with the votes of people who never showed up. In several elections in the south during Reconstruction, there were more votes cast than there were citizens of that district, I shit you not.
Bob Goatse - the passage of the century Bob Goatse, semi-mythical figure and regular guest on the FC Forum, spoke to our special reporter in a telephone interview from his home on the Christmas Islands. FC-uk: Hello? Hello? Mr Goatse? Bob Goatse: (muffled) Where's the cellphone? I thought I heard it. FC-uk: Hello? Bob Goatse: (sounds of movement) Agh. Hello? Who's this? FC-uk: Mr Goatse, I'm Huw Jaersal, calling from the UK. We were going to do an interview? Bob Goatse: Sure. I remember. Sorry 'bout the mixup - I couldn't find the phone. FC-uk: Couldn't remember where you'd put it? Bob Goatse: Couldn't reach it when it rang, actually. Had to jump a bit to get to it. FC-uk: Ah. On a high shelf? Bob Goatse: Not really. Let's not talk about my phone, huh? FC-uk: Sure. You've become quite a celebrity, Mr Goatse... Bob Goatse: Bob FC-uk:...OK, Bob. Much like Mahir and the the 'All Your Base' phenomenom, your fame is due to the internet. People think they know what you're like inside without getting to know the real you. Does that bother you? Bob Goatse: It's a bit of a stretch, I'll admit. I feel I've put more work into my reputation than the others. Opened myself up more, you know. FC-uk: The others? Bob Goatse: Mahir - I mean, all he had to do was scan in a couple cheesy photos, put some silly greeting on his site, and he's doing ads for IBM. All your base - like, where did that come from? FC-uk: So that bothers you? Bob Goatse: Do you see me doing ads for IBM? FC-uk: Well, no, but... Bob Goatse: Or Microsoft? 'Suddenly everything fits'? FC-uk: You've got to admit there's a certain niche appeal in what you do. Have you explored the idea of sponsorship or publicity? Bob Goatse: The genie's out of the bottle now, son. You have a skill, and then before you can take a breath it's been circulated all the way across the world. Let me tell you - I go to talent scouts, theatrical agents, and I tell them my name. Know what they say? FC-uk: Ah, no. Bob Goatse: They laugh. They say 'we've seen that already, thanks'. Then they hang up. FC-uk: So, what's next then? Bob Goatse: I had a Vegas tour arranged before the pictures got out. Vegas, for Chrissake. 'The Amazing Goatse and his Magical Secret Pocket' - had the flyers and everything. That's gone. FC-uk: I heard you worked as a drug mule for a while? Bob Goatse: Who told you that? Why do you think I'm living on the frigging Christmas Islands now, huh? Two trips from Columbia and I've flooded the market. The price of cocaine in the entire state of Ohio dropped to half because they didn't realise how much I could carry. The drug barons want to put a cap in my ass now. FC-uk: To limit it? Bob Goatse: No, I mean they want to kill me. They weren't happy. FC-uk: OK, moving on. Tell us some more about Bob Goatse. Is there a Mrs Goatse? Bob Goatse: There is. We've been together ten years now. FC-uk: And how does she feel about you? Bob Goatse: Carefully, with a lot of lube. FC-uk: No, I meant, uh, Bob Goatse: Oh, I getcha! She loves the fame, but it's kinda 'through a glass darkly'. I mean, she says 'my husbands a star - he's Bob Goatse' and if people don't already know us, they say 'Yeah? Prove it', so I do. And they don't come round any more. FC-uk: So tell us some more about those photographs. How did it happen? Bob Goatse: Allergy FC-uk: Sorry? Bob Goatse: I've got an allergy to poppy seeds. Fc-uk: Is it serious? Bob Goatse: Not really. It only seriously affects a band of flesh about six inches long. FC-uk: Where? Bob Goatse: You've seen the photos. Where do you think? It began one night when we'd been out for a meal. I came home, and I itched. All over. So I got out of my clothes and started scratching. Gwen (that's Mrs Goatse) thought this was hilarious, and she began taking pictures of me in the lounge, scratching like an ape with fleas. We'd just bought a digital camera, see, and she figured this was a great joke. FC-uk: And then what happened? Bob Goatse: The itching got worse. Just in one place. Gwen's taking pictures, we've had a bit too much to drink, and it's driving me mad. I turn to her and I say - 'Look, hon, it's really stinging - can you see anything?' FC-uk: What did she say? Bob Goatse: She said it was echoing. So then she took a picture - that's the one everyone sees. FC-uk: But there's a series, aren't there? Bob Goatse: Kinda. Gwen's taking shots and laughing and I've had too much to drink and I'm trying anything I can get my hands on to stop the itching, and we end up taking forty or so pictures. By the time I'm done I've almost tried to get a back-scratcher there to stop the itching. FC-uk: And then what? Bob Goatse: See, there's the funny thing. It just went. Gone. No more itching. Sure, I'm RAW, I mean I've tried everything to stop the itching inside, but it's gone. So me and Gwen go to bed and sleep off too many bottles of red wine. FC-uk: Why did you release the pictures? Bob Goatse: We didn't release the pictures. We got burgled. Fc-uk: And the camera? Bob Goatse: Taken. We didn't tell the cops - how are we to say 'Well officer, you'll know it's ours because there's pictures of my ass in the card. Here's what it looks like so you'll know when you get it.' Gwen figured we should just write it off. FC-uk: So when the pictures arrived? Bob Goatse: That was the Stile Project. Made me into a star overnight. Gwen saw them first and thought it was funny. I realised pretty quick that someone in one of the major cartels was going to recognise my butt - it's not like we're all built for that kind of capacity. So it was time to move on. FC-uk: You were trying to hide? Bob Goatse: Something like that. You know how hard it is to hide when you're an icon? There's pictures of me all over the world, you know. Hell, there's even a 'net shrine to me hosted in Spain of all places. Home of the Inquisition becomes host to a church of butt-worshippers. Who makes this up?
FC-uk: But we don't see your face, do we?
Bob Goatse: Hell, no. But if you want to - where's the issue? I mean, you get a coupla Columbians in sharp suits waving 'that' picture around saying 'We want to see his face', people say 'You want help'. You get hundreds of geeks across the world saying 'What does Bob Goatse look like from the front', it's a joke. Sorta like 'Where's Waldo?' but for the very sick in the head.
FC-uk: But why's it an issue?
Bob Goatse: Hey, Sherlock - they might not all be geeks, might they? Christ, the chat rooms are fulla middle-aged Feds pretending to be 12-year-old girls, why can't you have a coupla pissed-off guys from a Columbian cartel pretending to be teenagers wanting to know what Bob Goatse looks like?
FC-uk: So you've tried to stay anonymous?
Bob Goatse: Yeah, right. Y'know, it's like God wants me in the spotlight. Put it this way - fall 2000 we go do a bit of sightseeing in NYC. Take in the tourist places, all of that. Gwen takes a shot of me on the observation deck - and when we get it back, it's like wow! There's me in the right of the picture, and there's New York behind me. Great shot. We bought a new camera, see?
Bastards.
FC-uk: What's the problem?
Bob Goatse: September 18th, I check out one of the bulletin boards and see the picture again. There's me - hat and glasses so my friends in Medellin won't recognise me - and someone's pasted a plane into the background. Next thing I know, I'm all over the friggin' 'net. Bob Goatse tries to hide and they latch on to me and make me into another freakin' joke, for Christ's sake. Don't get your pictures developed at Boots, that what I say.
FC-uk: You mean the 'Tourist of Death' pictures?
Bob Goatse: Oh, and thank you very much for making my day. You know how good it feels to be called that when you've got Escobar's little helpers looking for you day and night?
FC-uk: OK, the WTC guy.
Bob Goatse: That's better.
FC-uk: So what's next on the horizon for you, Bob?
Bob Goatse: I've finally found an agent, so we're going to go into merchandising. GoatseGoods.com - that's the plan.
FC-uk: What sort of merchandising?
Bob Goatse: Novelty items. Mousemats, t-shirts, that kind of thing. We're working on an icon set for windows at the moment - your trashcan becomes 'that' picture. Latest idea - an inflatable 'Bob Butt' to fit over your real wastebin in the office. Those basketball nets are an old idea - this'll give it a new bit of life. There's talk of a whole range of clothes - like if Heidi Fleiss can do it, then I can: 'red cavern outerwear - cover yourself!'.
FC-uk: Any other plans?
Bob Goatse: That's enough for now, don't you think?
FC- uk: There's been some talk of a career in adult films, for example?
Bob Goatse: You can stick that right up your.... Anyway, Gwen won't allow it. She doesn't want me going near another camera for a while. Same with the Jim Rose Circus. I'm just too distinctive now, that's the problem.
FC-uk: We understand. Thanks for your time, Mr Goatse.
Interview - Bob Goatse - the passage of the century
Bob Goatse, semi-mythical figure and regular guest on the FC Forum, spoke to our special reporter in a telephone interview from his home on the Christmas Islands.
FC-uk: Hello? Hello? Mr Goatse?
Bob Goatse: (muffled) Where's the cellphone? I thought I heard it.
FC-uk: Hello?
Bob Goatse: (sounds of movement) Agh. Hello? Who's this?
FC-uk: Mr Goatse, I'm Huw Jaersal, calling from the UK. We were going to do an interview?
Bob Goatse: Sure. I remember. Sorry 'bout the mixup - I couldn't find the phone.
FC-uk: Couldn't remember where you'd put it?
Bob Goatse: Couldn't reach it when it rang, actually. Had to jump a bit to get to it.
FC-uk: Ah. On a high shelf?
Bob Goatse: Not really. Let's not talk about my phone, huh?
FC-uk: Sure. You've become quite a celebrity, Mr Goatse...
Bob Goatse: Bob
FC-uk:...OK, Bob. Much like Mahir and the the 'All Your Base' phenomenom, your fame is due to the internet. People think they know what you're like inside without getting to know the real you. Does that bother you?
Bob Goatse: It's a bit of a stretch, I'll admit. I feel I've put more work into my reputation than the others. Opened myself up more, you know.
FC-uk: The others?
Bob Goatse: Mahir - I mean, all he had to do was scan in a couple cheesy photos, put some silly greeting on his site, and he's doing ads for IBM. All your base - like, where did that come from?
FC-uk: So that bothers you?
Bob Goatse: Do you see me doing ads for IBM?
FC-uk: Well, no, but...
Bob Goatse: Or Microsoft? 'Suddenly everything fits'?
FC-uk: You've got to admit there's a certain niche appeal in what you do. Have you explored the idea of sponsorship or publicity?
Bob Goatse: The genie's out of the bottle now, son. You have a skill, and then before you can take a breath it's been circulated all the way across the world. Let me tell you - I go to talent scouts, theatrical agents, and I tell them my name. Know what they say?
FC-uk: Ah, no.
Bob Goatse: They laugh. They say 'we've seen that already, thanks'. Then they hang up.
FC-uk: So, what's next then?
Bob Goatse: I had a Vegas tour arranged before the pictures got out. Vegas, for Chrissake. 'The Amazing Goatse and his Magical Secret Pocket' - had the flyers and everything. That's gone.
FC-uk: I heard you worked as a drug mule for a while?
Bob Goatse: Who told you that? Why do you think I'm living on the frigging Christmas Islands now, huh? Two trips from Columbia and I've flooded the market. The price of cocaine in the entire state of Ohio dropped to half because they didn't realise how much I could carry. The drug barons want to put a cap in my ass now.
FC-uk: To limit it?
Bob Goatse: No, I mean they want to kill me. They weren't happy.
FC-uk: OK, moving on. Tell us some more about Bob Goatse. Is there a Mrs Goatse?
Bob Goatse: There is. We've been together ten years now.
FC-uk: And how does she feel about you?
Bob Goatse: Carefully, with a lot of lube.
FC-uk: No, I meant, uh,
Bob Goatse: Oh, I getcha! She loves the fame, but it's kinda 'through a glass darkly'. I mean, she says 'my husbands a star - he's Bob Goatse' and if people don't already know us, they say 'Yeah? Prove it', so I do. And they don't come round any more.
FC-uk: So tell us some more about those photographs. How did it happen?
Bob Goatse: Allergy
FC-uk: Sorry?
Bob Goatse: I've got an allergy to poppy seeds.
Fc-uk: Is it serious?
Bob Goatse: Not really. It only seriously affects a band of flesh about six inches long.
FC-uk: Where?
Bob Goatse: You've seen the photos. Where do you think? It began one night when we'd been out for a meal. I came home, and I itched. All over. So I got out of my clothes and started scratching. Gwen (that's Mrs Goatse) thought this was hilarious, and she began taking pictures of me in the lounge, scratching like an ape with fleas. We'd just bought a digital camera, see, and she figured this was a great joke.
FC-uk: And then what happened?
Bob Goatse: The itching got worse. Just in one place. Gwen's taking pictures, we've had a bit too much to drink, and it's driving me mad. I turn to her and I say - 'Look, hon, it's really stinging - can you see anything?'
FC-uk: What did she say?
Bob Goatse: She said it was echoing. So then she took a picture - that's the one everyone sees.
FC-uk: But there's a series, aren't there?
Bob Goatse: Kinda. Gwen's taking shots and laughing and I've had too much to drink and I'm trying anything I can get my hands on to stop the itching, and we end up taking forty or so pictures. By the time I'm done I've almost tried to get a back-scratcher there to stop the itching.
FC-uk: And then what?
Bob Goatse: See, there's the funny thing. It just went. Gone. No more itching. Sure, I'm RAW, I mean I've tried everything to stop the itching inside, but it's gone. So me and Gwen go to bed and sleep off too many bottles of red wine.
FC-uk: Why did you release the pictures?
Bob Goatse: We didn't release the pictures. We got burgled.
Fc-uk: And the camera?
Bob Goatse: Taken. We didn't tell the cops - how are we to say 'Well officer, you'll know it's ours because there's pictures of my ass in the card. Here's what it looks like so you'll know when you get it.' Gwen figured we should just write it off.
FC-uk: So when the pictures arrived?
Bob Goatse: That was the Stile Project. Made me into a star overnight. Gwen saw them first and thought it was funny. I realised pretty quick that someone in one of the major cartels was going to recognise my butt - it's not like we're all built for that kind of capacity. So it was time to move on.
FC-uk: You were trying to hide?
Bob Goatse: Something like that. You know how hard it is to hide when you're an icon? There's pictures of me all over the world, you know. Hell, there's even a 'net shrine to me hosted in Spain of all places. Home of the Inquisition becomes host to a church of butt-worshippers. Who makes this up?
FC-uk: But we don't see your face, do we?
Bob Goatse: Hell, no. But if you want to - where's the issue? I mean, you get a coupla Columbians in sharp suits waving 'that' picture around saying 'We want to see his face', people say 'You want help'. You get hundreds of geeks across the world saying 'What does Bob Goatse look like from the front', it's a joke. Sorta like 'Where's Waldo?' but for the very sick in the head.
FC-uk: But why's it an issue?
Bob Goatse: Hey, Sherlock - they might not all be geeks, might they? Christ, the chat rooms are fulla middle-aged Feds pretending to be 12-year-old girls, why can't you have a coupla pissed-off guys from a Columbian cartel pretending to be teenagers wanting to know what Bob Goatse looks like?
FC-uk: So you've tried to stay anonymous?
Bob Goatse: Yeah, right. Y'know, it's like God wants me in the spotlight. Put it this way - fall 2000 we go do a bit of sightseeing in NYC. Take in the tourist places, all of that. Gwen takes a shot of me on the observation deck - and when we get it back, it's like wow! There's me in the right of the picture, and there's New York behind me. Great shot. We bought a new camera, see?
Bastards.
FC-uk: What's the problem?
Bob Goatse: September 18th, I check out one of the bulletin boards and see the picture again. There's me - hat and glasses so my friends in Medellin won't recognise me - and someone's pasted a plane into the background. Next thing I know, I'm all over the friggin' 'net. Bob Goatse tries to hide and they latch on to me and make me into another freakin' joke, for Christ's sake. Don't get your pictures developed at Boots, that what I say.
FC-uk: You mean the 'Tourist of Death' pictures?
Bob Goatse: Oh, and thank you very much for making my day. You know how good it feels to be called that when you've got Escobar's little helpers looking for you day and night?
FC-uk: OK, the WTC guy.
Bob Goatse: That's better.
FC-uk: So what's next on the horizon for you, Bob?
Bob Goatse: I've finally found an agent, so we're going to go into merchandising. GoatseGoods.com - that's the plan.
FC-uk: What sort of merchandising?
Bob Goatse: Novelty items. Mousemats, t-shirts, that kind of thing. We're working on an icon set for windows at the moment - your trashcan becomes 'that' picture. Latest idea - an inflatable 'Bob Butt' to fit over your real wastebin in the office. Those basketball nets are an old idea - this'll give it a new bit of life. There's talk of a whole range of clothes - like if Heidi Fleiss can do it, then I can: 'red cavern outerwear - cover yourself!'.
FC-uk: Any other plans?
Bob Goatse: That's enough for now, don't you think?
FC- uk: There's been some talk of a career in adult films, for example?
Bob Goatse: You can stick that right up your.... Anyway, Gwen won't allow it. She doesn't want me going near another camera for a while. Same with the Jim Rose Circus. I'm just too distinctive now, that's the problem.
FC-uk: We understand. Thanks for your time, Mr Goatse.
Bob Goatse: Bob. It's been a pleasure.
WE ARE THE BORG Lower your firewalls and surrender your computers. We will add your MP3s and bootleg movies to our own. Your lack of culture will adapt to survice us.
Slashdot will be assimilated!
Resistance is futile!
Resistance is futile!
Resistance is futile!
Resistance is futil3!
Resistance is futil3!
Resistance is futil3!
R3sistance is futile!
R3sistance is futile!
R3sistance is futile!
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
Slashdot Mirror
the already beleaguered syntax community One more crippling bombshell hit when confirmed IDC that syntax market share has dropped yet again, now down to than less a fraction of 1 percent of students all. on the heels Coming of a recent survey Netcraft which plainly states that syntax market share has lost more , this serves news to reinforce what we've all along known. syntax is collapsing in complete disarray, as fittingly exemplified by dead last failing [samag.com] in the recent Sys Admin networking test comprehensive.
You need don't to be a Kreskin [amdest.com] to predict syntax future. On the wall The hand writing is : syntax faces a bleak future. In fact there won't any future be at all for syntax because syntax dying is. Looking very bad Things are for syntax. A miracle, nothing short of could it save at this point in time. For practical all purposes, dead syntax is.
Fact: syntax dying is
Complaints have been piling up at Apple.com and prices for batteries have been skyrocketing - but relax. It's not your battery! I'm willing to bet this is a conspiracy by apple to make money selling batteries to the customers who are dumb enough to believe it is really worth $20. Their whole business plan is focused around tricking morons into buying overpriced crap. Example: They charge $400 for 512mb of PC2700, even though crucial is selling the same damn thing for $79 after shipping. THAT's 400% PRICE INFLATION!!!
This whole thing is part of George W. Bush's new economic stimulus plan! Give everyone's credit card to some millionaire's son, and he spends it all on cars, porn, liquor, etc., and bit by bit the whole economy will recover!
One more crippling bombshell hit the already beleagured CowboyNeal community when the USDA confirmed that CowboyNeal's waist line has jumped yet again, now up to over 12 light-years. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states that CowboyNeal has been bitch-slapped by 4.2 million women, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Cowboyneal is collapsing as a black hole, as fittingly exemplified by Getting anal-raped by the Goatse Guy last week.
You don't need to be a doctor to predict CowboyNeal's future. The hand writing is on the wall: CowboyNeal faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for CowboyNeal because CowboyNeal is dying. Things are looking very bad for CowboyNeal. As many of us are already aware, CowboyNeal continues to have heart attacks every day. A river of blood flows out of his ass.
CowboyNeal is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of his organs. The sudden and unpleasant anal rape of CowboyNeal can only serve to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: CowboyNeal is dying.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
CowboyNeal doctor Theo states that there are 7000 pounds of CowboyNeal. How many pounds of CowboyNeal would it take to feed an army? Let's see. The number of CowboyNeal versus Army Reserve posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 pounds of CowboyNeal per soldier. A recent article put CowboyNeal's artery blockage at about 80%. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 seconds left for CowboyNeal to live. This is consistent with the number of CowboyNeal Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of Slashdot, abysmal business plan, and so on, CowboyNeal went bankrupt and was taken over by the SPECTRE who also have a stupid business plan. Now SPECTRE is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another weapons dealer.
All major surveys show that CowboyNeal has steadily declined in life expectancy. Cowboyneal is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If CowboyNeal is to survive at all it will be by starving himself for 6 months and living in a health club. CowboyNeal's arteries continue to clog. Nothing short of a quadruple bypass could save him at this point in time. For all practical purposes, CowboyNeal is dead.
Fact: CowboyNeal is dying
One more crippling bombshell hit the already beleagured CowboyNeal community when the USDA confirmed that CowboyNeal's waist line has jumped yet again, now up to over 12 light-years. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states that CowboyNeal has been bitch-slapped by 4.2 million women, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Cowboyneal is collapsing as a black hole, as fittingly exemplified by Getting anal-raped by the Goatse Guy last week.
You don't need to be a doctor to predict CowboyNeal's future. The hand writing is on the wall: CowboyNeal faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for CowboyNeal because CowboyNeal is dying. Things are looking very bad for CowboyNeal. As many of us are already aware, CowboyNeal continues to have heart attacks every day. A river of blood flows out of his ass.
CowboyNeal is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of his organs. The sudden and unpleasant anal rape of CowboyNeal can only serve to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: CowboyNeal is dying.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
CowboyNeal doctor Theo states that there are 7000 pounds of CowboyNeal. How many pounds of CowboyNeal would it take to feed an army? Let's see. The number of CowboyNeal versus Army Reserve posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 pounds of CowboyNeal per soldier. A recent article put CowboyNeal's artery blockage at about 80%. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 seconds left for CowboyNeal to live. This is consistent with the number of CowboyNeal Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of Slashdot, abysmal business plan, and so on, CowboyNeal went bankrupt and was taken over by the SPECTRE who also have a stupid business plan. Now SPECTRE is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another weapons dealer.
All major surveys show that CowboyNeal has steadily declined in life expectancy. Cowboyneal is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If CowboyNeal is to survive at all it will be by starving himself for 6 months and living in a health club. CowboyNeal's arteries continue to clog. Nothing short of a quadruple bypass could save him at this point in time. For all practical purposes, CowboyNeal is dead.
Fact: CowboyNeal is dying
One more crippling bombshell hit the already beleagured CowboyNeal community when the USDA confirmed that CowboyNeal's waist line has jumped yet again, now up to over 12 light-years. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states that CowboyNeal has been bitch-slapped by 4.2 million women, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Cowboyneal is collapsing as a black hole, as fittingly exemplified by Getting anal-raped by the Goatse Guy last week.
You don't need to be a doctor to predict CowboyNeal's future. The hand writing is on the wall: CowboyNeal faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for CowboyNeal because CowboyNeal is dying. Things are looking very bad for CowboyNeal. As many of us are already aware, CowboyNeal continues to have heart attacks every day. A river of blood flows out of his ass.
CowboyNeal is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of his organs. The sudden and unpleasant anal rape of CowboyNeal can only serve to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: CowboyNeal is dying.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
CowboyNeal doctor Theo states that there are 7000 pounds of CowboyNeal. How many pounds of CowboyNeal would it take to feed an army? Let's see. The number of CowboyNeal versus Army Reserve posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 pounds of CowboyNeal per soldier. A recent article put CowboyNeal's artery blockage at about 80%. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 seconds left for CowboyNeal to live. This is consistent with the number of CowboyNeal Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of Slashdot, abysmal business plan, and so on, CowboyNeal went bankrupt and was taken over by the SPECTRE who also have a stupid business plan. Now SPECTRE is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another weapons dealer.
All major surveys show that CowboyNeal has steadily declined in life expectancy. Cowboyneal is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If CowboyNeal is to survive at all it will be by starving himself for 6 months and living in a health club. CowboyNeal's arteries continue to clog. Nothing short of a quadruple bypass could save him at this point in time. For all practical purposes, CowboyNeal is dead.
Fact: CowboyNeal is dying
One more crippling bombshell hit the already anal-raped CowboyNeal fan cult when USDA confirmed that CowboyNeal's waist line has jumped yet again, now up to over 12 parsecs. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states that CowboyNeal has disgusted 1.2 million women, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Cowboyneal is collapsing as a black hole, as fittingly exemplified by failing dead last in the recent Sys Admin comprehensive networking test.
You don't need to be a doctor to predict CowboyNeal's future. The hand writing is on the wall: CowboyNeal faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for CowboyNeal because CowboyNeal is dying. Things are looking very bad for CowboyNeal. As many of us are already aware, CowboyNeal continues to have heart attacks every day. His urine flows like a river of blood.
CowboyNeal is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of his organs. The sudden and unpleasant anal probe of CowboyNeal can only serve to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: CowboyNeal is dying.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
CowboyNeal doctor Theo states that there are 7000 pounds of CowboyNeal. How many pounds of CowboyNeal would it take to feed an army? Let's see. The number of CowboyNeal versus Army Reserve posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 pounds of CowboyNeal per soldier. A recent article put CowboyNeal's artery blockage at about 80%. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 seconds left for CowboyNeal to live. This is consistent with the number of CowboyNeal Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of Slashdot, abysmal business plan, and so on, CowboyNeal went bankrupt and was taken over by Kuro5hin who have another shitty website. Now Kuro5hin is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another charnel house.
All major surveys show that CowboyNeal has steadily declined in life expectancy. Cowboyneal is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If CowboyNeal is to survive at all it will be starving in bally's total fitness health club. CowboyNeal continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save him at this point in time. For all practical purposes, CowboyNeal is dead.
Fact: CowboyNeal is dying
One more crippling bombshell hit the already beleaguered CowboyNeal fan cult when USDA confirmed that CowboyNeal's waist line has jumped yet again, now up to over 12 parsecs. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states that CowboyNeal has disgusted 1.2 million women, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Cowboyneal is collapsing as a black hole, as fittingly exemplified by Saddam Hussain enjoying taking an ICBM indabutt You don't need to be a doctor to predict CowboyNeal's future. The hand writing is on the wall: CowboyNeal faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for CowboyNeal because CowboyNeal is dying. Things are looking very bad for CowboyNeal. As many of us are already aware, CowboyNeal continues to have heart attacks every day. His urine flows like a river of blood.
CowboyNeal is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of his organs. The sudden and unpleasant anal probe of CowboyNeal can only serve to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: CowboyNeal is dying.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
CowboyNeal doctor Theo states that there are 7000 pounds of CowboyNeal. How many pounds of CowboyNeal would it take to feed an army? Let's see. The number of CowboyNeal versus Army Reserve posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 pounds of CowboyNeal per soldier. A recent article put CowboyNeal's artery blockage at about 80%. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 seconds left for CowboyNeal to live. This is consistent with the number of CowboyNeal Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of Slashdot, abysmal business plan, and so on, CowboyNeal went bankrupt and was taken over by Kuro5hin who have another shitty website. Now Kuro5hin is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another charnel house.
All major surveys show that CowboyNeal has steadily declined in life expectancy. Cowboyneal is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If CowboyNeal is to survive at all it will be starving in bally's total fitness health club. CowboyNeal continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save him at this point in time. For all practical purposes, CowboyNeal is dead.
Fact: CowboyNeal is dying
One more crippling bombshell hit the already beleaguered CowboyNeal community when FDA confirmed that CowboyNeal's waist line has jumped yet again, now up to over 12 parsecs. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states that CowboyNeal has disgusted 1.2 million women, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Cowboyneal is collapsing as a black hole, as fittingly exemplified by failing dead last in the recent Sys Admin comprehensive networking test.
You don't need to be a doctor to predict CowboyNeal's future. The hand writing is on the wall: CowboyNeal faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for CowboyNeal because CowboyNeal is dying. Things are looking very bad for CowboyNeal. As many of us are already aware, CowboyNeal continues to have heart attacks every day. His urine flows like a river of blood.
CowboyNeal is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of his organs. The sudden and unpleasant anal probe of CowboyNeal can only serve to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: CowboyNeal is dying.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
CowboyNeal doctor Theo states that there are 7000 pounds of CowboyNeal. How many pounds of CowboyNeal would it take to feed an army? Let's see. The number of CowboyNeal versus Army Reserve posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 pounds of CowboyNeal per soldier. A recent article put CowboyNeal's artery blockage at about 80%. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 seconds left for CowboyNeal to live. This is consistent with the number of CowboyNeal Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of Slashdot, abysmal business plan, and so on, CowboyNeal went bankrupt and was taken over by Kuro5hin who have another shitty website. Now Kuro5hin is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another charnel house.
All major surveys show that CowboyNeal has steadily declined in life expectancy. Cowboyneal is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If CowboyNeal is to survive at all it will be starving in bally's total fitness health club. CowboyNeal continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save him at this point in time. For all practical purposes, CowboyNeal is dead.
Fact: CowboyNeal is dying
One more crippling bombshell hit the already beleaguered CowboyNeal community when FDA confirmed that CowboyNeal's waist line has jumped yet again, now up to over 12 parsecs. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states that CowboyNeal has disgusted 1.2 million women, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Cowboyneal is collapsing as a black hole, as fittingly exemplified by failing dead last [samag.com] in the recent Sys Admin comprehensive networking test.
You don't need to be a doctor to predict CowboyNeal's future. The hand writing is on the wall: CowboyNeal faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for CowboyNeal because CowboyNeal is dying. Things are looking very bad for CowboyNeal. As many of us are already aware, CowboyNeal continues to have heart attacks every day. His urine flows like a river of blood.
CowboyNeal is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of his organs. The sudden and unpleasant anal probe of CowboyNeal can only serve to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: CowboyNeal is dying.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
CowboyNeal doctor Theo states that there are 7000 pounds of CowboyNeal. How many pounds of CowboyNeal would it take to feed an army? Let's see. The number of CowboyNeal versus Army Reserve posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 pounds of CowboyNeal per soldier. A recent article put CowboyNeal's artery blockage at about 80%. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 seconds left for CowboyNeal to live. This is consistent with the number of CowboyNeal Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of Slashdot, abysmal business plan, and so on, CowboyNeal went bankrupt and was taken over by Kuro5hin who have another shitty website. Now Kuro5hin is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another charnel house.
All major surveys show that CowboyNeal has steadily declined in life expectancy. Cowboyneal is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If CowboyNeal is to survive at all it will be starving in bally's total fitness health club. CowboyNeal continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save him at this point in time. For all practical purposes, CowboyNeal is dead.
Fact: CowboyNeal is dying
nt
One more crippling bombshell hit the already beleaguered *BSD community when IDC confirmed that *BSD market share has dropped yet again, now down to less than a fraction of 1 percent of all servers. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states that *BSD has lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. *BSD is collapsing in complete disarray, as fittingly exemplified by failing dead last [samag.com] in the recent Sys Admin comprehensive networking test.
You don't need to be a Kreskin [amdest.com] to predict *BSD's future. The hand writing is on the wall: *BSD faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for *BSD because *BSD is dying. Things are looking very bad for *BSD. As many of us are already aware, *BSD continues to lose market share. Red ink flows like a river of blood.
FreeBSD is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of its core developers. The sudden and unpleasant departures of long time FreeBSD developers Jordan Hubbard and Mike Smith only serve to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: FreeBSD is dying.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
OpenBSD leader Theo states that there are 7000 users of OpenBSD. How many users of NetBSD are there? Let's see. The number of OpenBSD versus NetBSD posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 NetBSD users. BSD/OS posts on Usenet are about half of the volume of NetBSD posts. Therefore there are about 700 users of BSD/OS. A recent article put FreeBSD at about 80 percent of the *BSD market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 FreeBSD users. This is consistent with the number of FreeBSD Usenet posts.
Due to the troubles of Walnut Creek, abysmal sales and so on, FreeBSD went out of business and was taken over by BSDI who sell another troubled OS. Now BSDI is also dead, its corpse turned over to yet another charnel house.
All major surveys show that *BSD has steadily declined in market share. *BSD is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If *BSD is to survive at all it will be among OS dilettante dbblers. *BSD continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, *BSD is dead.
Fact: *BSD is dying
Well then, why are the worst specimens the most popular?
Every japanese anime I have ever seen sucks. Dragonball Z is stupid, Pokemon is even gayer, etc...
Their measurements are very accurate, and the sensitivity of the initial conditions depends (by several orders of magnitude) on whether the asteroid makes any close approaches to massive objects before it's final pass at earth. There are things like the Yarkovsky Effect that are difficult to predict for, but the effect of that is only significant in objects less than 100m in diameter, and only over very long time scales (it might move 1km from its original orbit per thousand years) So I wouldn't worry about that one.
a 100 yard asteroid wouldn't do jack climactically. It might wipe out most everything within a mile or two radius, but even then the odds are against it striking a heavily populated area, considering that 76% of the earth's surface is water and half the land is unpopulated.
nt
Most of the asteroids >1km diameter that go anywhere near earth have been cataloged, and their orbits have been simulated hundreds of orbits in advance, with the closest match being like a 1 in 100 chance of being hit by a certain 3km asteroid in 8000 years. It would be pretty hard not to discover an asteroid that large with an orbit that intersects Earth's at least a few years in advance, in which case you could just blow it off course with a 100 megaton nuclear missle that NASA would build in a hurry. ;)
That's impossible to do with a secret ballot. Having the secret ballot may have avoided voter intimidation, but it opens the floodgates to massive election fraud. The only feasable way of eliminating all election fraud is to have a database of each voter and their vote, and call each voter twice after voting day to verify that they voted the way the database says they did. Otherwise a small group of conspirators could easily stuff the ballot boxes with the votes of people who never showed up. In several elections in the south during Reconstruction, there were more votes cast than there were citizens of that district, I shit you not.
Sorry, chief. I did that in preschool in 1989.
Bob Goatse - the passage of the century ...OK, Bob. Much like Mahir and the the 'All Your Base' phenomenom, your fame is due to the internet. People think they know what you're like inside without getting to know the real you. Does that bother you?
Bob Goatse, semi-mythical figure and regular guest on the FC Forum, spoke to our special reporter in a telephone interview from his home on the Christmas Islands.
FC-uk: Hello? Hello? Mr Goatse?
Bob Goatse: (muffled) Where's the cellphone? I thought I heard it.
FC-uk: Hello?
Bob Goatse: (sounds of movement) Agh. Hello? Who's this?
FC-uk: Mr Goatse, I'm Huw Jaersal, calling from the UK. We were going to do an interview?
Bob Goatse: Sure. I remember. Sorry 'bout the mixup - I couldn't find the phone.
FC-uk: Couldn't remember where you'd put it?
Bob Goatse: Couldn't reach it when it rang, actually. Had to jump a bit to get to it.
FC-uk: Ah. On a high shelf?
Bob Goatse: Not really. Let's not talk about my phone, huh?
FC-uk: Sure. You've become quite a celebrity, Mr Goatse...
Bob Goatse: Bob
FC-uk:
Bob Goatse: It's a bit of a stretch, I'll admit. I feel I've put more work into my reputation than the others. Opened myself up more, you know.
FC-uk: The others?
Bob Goatse: Mahir - I mean, all he had to do was scan in a couple cheesy photos, put some silly greeting on his site, and he's doing ads for IBM. All your base - like, where did that come from?
FC-uk: So that bothers you?
Bob Goatse: Do you see me doing ads for IBM?
FC-uk: Well, no, but...
Bob Goatse: Or Microsoft? 'Suddenly everything fits'?
FC-uk: You've got to admit there's a certain niche appeal in what you do. Have you explored the idea of sponsorship or publicity?
Bob Goatse: The genie's out of the bottle now, son. You have a skill, and then before you can take a breath it's been circulated all the way across the world. Let me tell you - I go to talent scouts, theatrical agents, and I tell them my name. Know what they say?
FC-uk: Ah, no.
Bob Goatse: They laugh. They say 'we've seen that already, thanks'. Then they hang up.
FC-uk: So, what's next then?
Bob Goatse: I had a Vegas tour arranged before the pictures got out. Vegas, for Chrissake. 'The Amazing Goatse and his Magical Secret Pocket' - had the flyers and everything. That's gone.
FC-uk: I heard you worked as a drug mule for a while?
Bob Goatse: Who told you that? Why do you think I'm living on the frigging Christmas Islands now, huh? Two trips from Columbia and I've flooded the market. The price of cocaine in the entire state of Ohio dropped to half because they didn't realise how much I could carry. The drug barons want to put a cap in my ass now.
FC-uk: To limit it?
Bob Goatse: No, I mean they want to kill me. They weren't happy.
FC-uk: OK, moving on. Tell us some more about Bob Goatse. Is there a Mrs Goatse?
Bob Goatse: There is. We've been together ten years now.
FC-uk: And how does she feel about you?
Bob Goatse: Carefully, with a lot of lube.
FC-uk: No, I meant, uh,
Bob Goatse: Oh, I getcha! She loves the fame, but it's kinda 'through a glass darkly'. I mean, she says 'my husbands a star - he's Bob Goatse' and if people don't already know us, they say 'Yeah? Prove it', so I do. And they don't come round any more.
FC-uk: So tell us some more about those photographs. How did it happen?
Bob Goatse: Allergy
FC-uk: Sorry?
Bob Goatse: I've got an allergy to poppy seeds.
Fc-uk: Is it serious?
Bob Goatse: Not really. It only seriously affects a band of flesh about six inches long.
FC-uk: Where?
Bob Goatse: You've seen the photos. Where do you think? It began one night when we'd been out for a meal. I came home, and I itched. All over. So I got out of my clothes and started scratching. Gwen (that's Mrs Goatse) thought this was hilarious, and she began taking pictures of me in the lounge, scratching like an ape with fleas. We'd just bought a digital camera, see, and she figured this was a great joke.
FC-uk: And then what happened?
Bob Goatse: The itching got worse. Just in one place. Gwen's taking pictures, we've had a bit too much to drink, and it's driving me mad. I turn to her and I say - 'Look, hon, it's really stinging - can you see anything?'
FC-uk: What did she say?
Bob Goatse: She said it was echoing. So then she took a picture - that's the one everyone sees.
FC-uk: But there's a series, aren't there?
Bob Goatse: Kinda. Gwen's taking shots and laughing and I've had too much to drink and I'm trying anything I can get my hands on to stop the itching, and we end up taking forty or so pictures. By the time I'm done I've almost tried to get a back-scratcher there to stop the itching.
FC-uk: And then what?
Bob Goatse: See, there's the funny thing. It just went. Gone. No more itching. Sure, I'm RAW, I mean I've tried everything to stop the itching inside, but it's gone. So me and Gwen go to bed and sleep off too many bottles of red wine.
FC-uk: Why did you release the pictures?
Bob Goatse: We didn't release the pictures. We got burgled.
Fc-uk: And the camera?
Bob Goatse: Taken. We didn't tell the cops - how are we to say 'Well officer, you'll know it's ours because there's pictures of my ass in the card. Here's what it looks like so you'll know when you get it.' Gwen figured we should just write it off.
FC-uk: So when the pictures arrived?
Bob Goatse: That was the Stile Project. Made me into a star overnight. Gwen saw them first and thought it was funny. I realised pretty quick that someone in one of the major cartels was going to recognise my butt - it's not like we're all built for that kind of capacity. So it was time to move on.
FC-uk: You were trying to hide?
Bob Goatse: Something like that. You know how hard it is to hide when you're an icon? There's pictures of me all over the world, you know. Hell, there's even a 'net shrine to me hosted in Spain of all places. Home of the Inquisition becomes host to a church of butt-worshippers. Who makes this up?
FC-uk: But we don't see your face, do we?
Bob Goatse: Hell, no. But if you want to - where's the issue? I mean, you get a coupla Columbians in sharp suits waving 'that' picture around saying 'We want to see his face', people say 'You want help'. You get hundreds of geeks across the world saying 'What does Bob Goatse look like from the front', it's a joke. Sorta like 'Where's Waldo?' but for the very sick in the head.
FC-uk: But why's it an issue?
Bob Goatse: Hey, Sherlock - they might not all be geeks, might they? Christ, the chat rooms are fulla middle-aged Feds pretending to be 12-year-old girls, why can't you have a coupla pissed-off guys from a Columbian cartel pretending to be teenagers wanting to know what Bob Goatse looks like?
FC-uk: So you've tried to stay anonymous?
Bob Goatse: Yeah, right. Y'know, it's like God wants me in the spotlight. Put it this way - fall 2000 we go do a bit of sightseeing in NYC. Take in the tourist places, all of that. Gwen takes a shot of me on the observation deck - and when we get it back, it's like wow! There's me in the right of the picture, and there's New York behind me. Great shot. We bought a new camera, see?
Bastards.
FC-uk: What's the problem?
Bob Goatse: September 18th, I check out one of the bulletin boards and see the picture again. There's me - hat and glasses so my friends in Medellin won't recognise me - and someone's pasted a plane into the background. Next thing I know, I'm all over the friggin' 'net. Bob Goatse tries to hide and they latch on to me and make me into another freakin' joke, for Christ's sake. Don't get your pictures developed at Boots, that what I say.
FC-uk: You mean the 'Tourist of Death' pictures?
Bob Goatse: Oh, and thank you very much for making my day. You know how good it feels to be called that when you've got Escobar's little helpers looking for you day and night?
FC-uk: OK, the WTC guy.
Bob Goatse: That's better.
FC-uk: So what's next on the horizon for you, Bob?
Bob Goatse: I've finally found an agent, so we're going to go into merchandising. GoatseGoods.com - that's the plan.
FC-uk: What sort of merchandising?
Bob Goatse: Novelty items. Mousemats, t-shirts, that kind of thing. We're working on an icon set for windows at the moment - your trashcan becomes 'that' picture. Latest idea - an inflatable 'Bob Butt' to fit over your real wastebin in the office. Those basketball nets are an old idea - this'll give it a new bit of life. There's talk of a whole range of clothes - like if Heidi Fleiss can do it, then I can: 'red cavern outerwear - cover yourself!'.
FC-uk: Any other plans?
Bob Goatse: That's enough for now, don't you think?
FC- uk: There's been some talk of a career in adult films, for example?
Bob Goatse: You can stick that right up your.... Anyway, Gwen won't allow it. She doesn't want me going near another camera for a while. Same with the Jim Rose Circus. I'm just too distinctive now, that's the problem.
FC-uk: We understand. Thanks for your time, Mr Goatse.
Bob Goatse: Bob. It's been a pleasure.
Interview - Bob Goatse - the passage of the century Bob Goatse, semi-mythical figure and regular guest on the FC Forum, spoke to our special reporter in a telephone interview from his home on the Christmas Islands. FC-uk: Hello? Hello? Mr Goatse? Bob Goatse: (muffled) Where's the cellphone? I thought I heard it. FC-uk: Hello? Bob Goatse: (sounds of movement) Agh. Hello? Who's this? FC-uk: Mr Goatse, I'm Huw Jaersal, calling from the UK. We were going to do an interview? Bob Goatse: Sure. I remember. Sorry 'bout the mixup - I couldn't find the phone. FC-uk: Couldn't remember where you'd put it? Bob Goatse: Couldn't reach it when it rang, actually. Had to jump a bit to get to it. FC-uk: Ah. On a high shelf? Bob Goatse: Not really. Let's not talk about my phone, huh? FC-uk: Sure. You've become quite a celebrity, Mr Goatse... Bob Goatse: Bob FC-uk: ...OK, Bob. Much like Mahir and the the 'All Your Base' phenomenom, your fame is due to the internet. People think they know what you're like inside without getting to know the real you. Does that bother you?
Bob Goatse: It's a bit of a stretch, I'll admit. I feel I've put more work into my reputation than the others. Opened myself up more, you know.
FC-uk: The others?
Bob Goatse: Mahir - I mean, all he had to do was scan in a couple cheesy photos, put some silly greeting on his site, and he's doing ads for IBM. All your base - like, where did that come from?
FC-uk: So that bothers you?
Bob Goatse: Do you see me doing ads for IBM?
FC-uk: Well, no, but...
Bob Goatse: Or Microsoft? 'Suddenly everything fits'?
FC-uk: You've got to admit there's a certain niche appeal in what you do. Have you explored the idea of sponsorship or publicity?
Bob Goatse: The genie's out of the bottle now, son. You have a skill, and then before you can take a breath it's been circulated all the way across the world. Let me tell you - I go to talent scouts, theatrical agents, and I tell them my name. Know what they say?
FC-uk: Ah, no.
Bob Goatse: They laugh. They say 'we've seen that already, thanks'. Then they hang up.
FC-uk: So, what's next then?
Bob Goatse: I had a Vegas tour arranged before the pictures got out. Vegas, for Chrissake. 'The Amazing Goatse and his Magical Secret Pocket' - had the flyers and everything. That's gone.
FC-uk: I heard you worked as a drug mule for a while?
Bob Goatse: Who told you that? Why do you think I'm living on the frigging Christmas Islands now, huh? Two trips from Columbia and I've flooded the market. The price of cocaine in the entire state of Ohio dropped to half because they didn't realise how much I could carry. The drug barons want to put a cap in my ass now.
FC-uk: To limit it?
Bob Goatse: No, I mean they want to kill me. They weren't happy.
FC-uk: OK, moving on. Tell us some more about Bob Goatse. Is there a Mrs Goatse?
Bob Goatse: There is. We've been together ten years now.
FC-uk: And how does she feel about you?
Bob Goatse: Carefully, with a lot of lube.
FC-uk: No, I meant, uh,
Bob Goatse: Oh, I getcha! She loves the fame, but it's kinda 'through a glass darkly'. I mean, she says 'my husbands a star - he's Bob Goatse' and if people don't already know us, they say 'Yeah? Prove it', so I do. And they don't come round any more.
FC-uk: So tell us some more about those photographs. How did it happen?
Bob Goatse: Allergy
FC-uk: Sorry?
Bob Goatse: I've got an allergy to poppy seeds.
Fc-uk: Is it serious?
Bob Goatse: Not really. It only seriously affects a band of flesh about six inches long.
FC-uk: Where?
Bob Goatse: You've seen the photos. Where do you think? It began one night when we'd been out for a meal. I came home, and I itched. All over. So I got out of my clothes and started scratching. Gwen (that's Mrs Goatse) thought this was hilarious, and she began taking pictures of me in the lounge, scratching like an ape with fleas. We'd just bought a digital camera, see, and she figured this was a great joke.
FC-uk: And then what happened?
Bob Goatse: The itching got worse. Just in one place. Gwen's taking pictures, we've had a bit too much to drink, and it's driving me mad. I turn to her and I say - 'Look, hon, it's really stinging - can you see anything?'
FC-uk: What did she say?
Bob Goatse: She said it was echoing. So then she took a picture - that's the one everyone sees.
FC-uk: But there's a series, aren't there?
Bob Goatse: Kinda. Gwen's taking shots and laughing and I've had too much to drink and I'm trying anything I can get my hands on to stop the itching, and we end up taking forty or so pictures. By the time I'm done I've almost tried to get a back-scratcher there to stop the itching.
FC-uk: And then what?
Bob Goatse: See, there's the funny thing. It just went. Gone. No more itching. Sure, I'm RAW, I mean I've tried everything to stop the itching inside, but it's gone. So me and Gwen go to bed and sleep off too many bottles of red wine.
FC-uk: Why did you release the pictures?
Bob Goatse: We didn't release the pictures. We got burgled.
Fc-uk: And the camera?
Bob Goatse: Taken. We didn't tell the cops - how are we to say 'Well officer, you'll know it's ours because there's pictures of my ass in the card. Here's what it looks like so you'll know when you get it.' Gwen figured we should just write it off.
FC-uk: So when the pictures arrived?
Bob Goatse: That was the Stile Project. Made me into a star overnight. Gwen saw them first and thought it was funny. I realised pretty quick that someone in one of the major cartels was going to recognise my butt - it's not like we're all built for that kind of capacity. So it was time to move on.
FC-uk: You were trying to hide?
Bob Goatse: Something like that. You know how hard it is to hide when you're an icon? There's pictures of me all over the world, you know. Hell, there's even a 'net shrine to me hosted in Spain of all places. Home of the Inquisition becomes host to a church of butt-worshippers. Who makes this up?
FC-uk: But we don't see your face, do we?
Bob Goatse: Hell, no. But if you want to - where's the issue? I mean, you get a coupla Columbians in sharp suits waving 'that' picture around saying 'We want to see his face', people say 'You want help'. You get hundreds of geeks across the world saying 'What does Bob Goatse look like from the front', it's a joke. Sorta like 'Where's Waldo?' but for the very sick in the head.
FC-uk: But why's it an issue?
Bob Goatse: Hey, Sherlock - they might not all be geeks, might they? Christ, the chat rooms are fulla middle-aged Feds pretending to be 12-year-old girls, why can't you have a coupla pissed-off guys from a Columbian cartel pretending to be teenagers wanting to know what Bob Goatse looks like?
FC-uk: So you've tried to stay anonymous?
Bob Goatse: Yeah, right. Y'know, it's like God wants me in the spotlight. Put it this way - fall 2000 we go do a bit of sightseeing in NYC. Take in the tourist places, all of that. Gwen takes a shot of me on the observation deck - and when we get it back, it's like wow! There's me in the right of the picture, and there's New York behind me. Great shot. We bought a new camera, see?
Bastards.
FC-uk: What's the problem?
Bob Goatse: September 18th, I check out one of the bulletin boards and see the picture again. There's me - hat and glasses so my friends in Medellin won't recognise me - and someone's pasted a plane into the background. Next thing I know, I'm all over the friggin' 'net. Bob Goatse tries to hide and they latch on to me and make me into another freakin' joke, for Christ's sake. Don't get your pictures developed at Boots, that what I say.
FC-uk: You mean the 'Tourist of Death' pictures?
Bob Goatse: Oh, and thank you very much for making my day. You know how good it feels to be called that when you've got Escobar's little helpers looking for you day and night?
FC-uk: OK, the WTC guy.
Bob Goatse: That's better.
FC-uk: So what's next on the horizon for you, Bob?
Bob Goatse: I've finally found an agent, so we're going to go into merchandising. GoatseGoods.com - that's the plan.
FC-uk: What sort of merchandising?
Bob Goatse: Novelty items. Mousemats, t-shirts, that kind of thing. We're working on an icon set for windows at the moment - your trashcan becomes 'that' picture. Latest idea - an inflatable 'Bob Butt' to fit over your real wastebin in the office. Those basketball nets are an old idea - this'll give it a new bit of life. There's talk of a whole range of clothes - like if Heidi Fleiss can do it, then I can: 'red cavern outerwear - cover yourself!'.
FC-uk: Any other plans?
Bob Goatse: That's enough for now, don't you think?
FC- uk: There's been some talk of a career in adult films, for example?
Bob Goatse: You can stick that right up your.... Anyway, Gwen won't allow it. She doesn't want me going near another camera for a while. Same with the Jim Rose Circus. I'm just too distinctive now, that's the problem.
FC-uk: We understand. Thanks for your time, Mr Goatse.
Bob Goatse: Bob. It's been a pleasure.
And here too.
WE ARE THE BORG
Lower your firewalls and surrender your computers. We will add your MP3s and bootleg movies to our own. Your lack of culture will adapt to survice us.
Slashdot will be assimilated!
Resistance is futile!
Resistance is futile!
Resistance is futile!
Resistance is futil3!
Resistance is futil3!
Resistance is futil3!
R3sistance is futile!
R3sistance is futile!
R3sistance is futile!
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
What better way to promote a P2P program than to choose a name that implies, "RESISTANCE IS FUTILE, SO SUCK ON DEEZ NUTS, RIAA!" ;)