Really, don't you think it's time for you to fuck off and die? Think
about it, you don't have any "real" friends. Maybe a couple of kind
souls here on Slashdot feel sorry for you, but it's not something that
should stop you from wandering off into the sea. There are dozens of
oppressed hacker teen virgins waiting for you up in fucktard heaven. Just a
thought. I have to do some work now, some of use have real lives you
know... so until I get back I want you to think about what I said...
be honest with yourself.
I was suposed to be a prize, if memory serves me right. There were ad banners for it plastered all over Slashdot. But, nothing came of it. My guess is that they could not afford the payments and it got repo'd. Homos and CmdrTunaTaco tell us it isn't their fault here.
I wish I could post at a lower score. I face a dilemma: I wish to ask Turd Report a question and common courtesy requires that I be logged-in when doing so; but at the same time I can only post at Score:1, making my post stick out like dogs' balls to those good folks who read at Threshold:1.
Well, feel free to email me at my email address shown above. I check that account everyday, as I do get fan mail about my reports.
No matter. Turd Report, I don't understand why Tuesday's turd (the chicken) only scored a 2. Here is a fascinating turd, I thought as I was reading the report, but was disapointed to see it score so low. I know it must have been an unpleasant experience, but often artists must suffer for their work.
Boy, did I ever suffer for that one. It didn't stay in me for more than 30 minutes. I base my score on several aspects of the turd. The qualities I look at are:
size
length
color
flushability
odor
amount of work to get the turd out
So, for the Tuesday turd, the score break down is:
I know saying Retarded Mod is redundant, but none the less... Who was the fuckwit that modded this as (-1, Offtopic)? It is already at -1, cuntstain! No wonder Slashdot is going down the shitter.
I had crab rangoons from Manchurian, in Herndon. They were wonderful.
I had them with some green tea I had bought from Chinatown, in DC. This
morning, my turds were an unusual color. They were green, bright lime
green. It did not take much to get the turd out. It just slid right on
out with minimal pushing. There was no smell, which I found to be odd.
I will rate this turd a 7.
On a side note, I would like to talk about Bathroom Etiquate. There are
a few cow-orkers who do not know these rules. The first is: Don't take
the stall next to another person, if it can be avoided. That middle stall
is the buffer stall; consider it to be no-man's land. Second rule is:
Don't talk to the person in the next stall. Taking a dump is a time
for thinking and meditation, or excremeditation, as I like to call it.
Talking disrupts the thought process. The third rule is: Keep the grunting
to an absolute minimum if there is another person in the stalls. Nothing
worse than hearing some fool trying to take a big dump and grunting like a
pig.
He is not a WPI student, so he does not have buttsex with other men. You are an AC, so you will have buttsex with anything that moves. I guess that you spend most of your day bent over a mailbox, with your ass cheaks spread, on the corner moaning "fuck me" to anything that walks by.
(AP Newswire) Holland, Michigan - Reports are coming in from local police that
Jon Katz's drug induced tri-state sexual rampage has ended. Jon Katz, a
well-known and loved member of the web site Slashdot, first started his
crimes against humanity on Friday night after he found a large stash of
'Moderator Crack' in the Slashdot Cruiser.
"We heard the screeching of tires and could smell crack smoke," a dazed CmdrTaco
stated. "After searching the compound we found that Jon [Katz] had left. And,
to make things worse, he had taken his favorite dual-head dildo, the 15-inch
black one."
Local police in co-operation with Indiana state troopers tracked Katz to a small,
family run petting zoo on the outskirts of North Webster, Indiana. At the
petting zoo on obviously intoxicated Katz was found wandering around wearing
rubber pants and flippers. "He [Katz] was staggering around, clutching his
genitals, and moaning," Pat Schoppenhorst, owner of the zoo, exclaimed. "It just
wasn't natural. Disgusting." When approached by zoo staff, Katz grabbed a goat
and ran for the parking lot.
Katz is also wanted for shitting in to a bulk container of banana chips at a Sam's
Club in Pendleton, Indiana, as well as for humping a parking meter, in broad
daylight, in downtown Anderson, Indiana.
After three days of searching, Michigan Troopers found the burned out remains of
the Slashdot Cruiser in a field just outside of Saginaw, Michigan. A quick search
of local motels turned up Katz. Katz was found, passed out in a pool of his own
vomit and urine, at the DewDrop Inn. Also recovered were numerous pictures of
young boys, a crack pipe, and a worn out dildo. A goat was also found, but had
to be put to sleep, due to what is described as: "traumatic damage to its anus
and mouth".
Michael Simms called a press conference where a chained and recovering Katz was
able to speak. "Teen hackers are being forced to deal with sexual situations as
well as drug use. I wanted to understand how they deal with the situation," Katz
mumbled. This will all be told in my 56 part series called: 'A crack pipe or a
cock: Which feels better in my hellmouth?'" Simms did not comment; instead he
smashed baby rats with a hammer in the corner.
The only editor I need is pico
on
Looking At Gobe
·
· Score: -1
Malda's mom is going to subscribe, so he has one sale. Hell, I might even get a paid troll account and see how abusable that subscription is. Will Slashdot ban my entire subnet when I am a paying customer? Will the editors still bitchslap me? Will they still mod me down on sight? Time will tell.
Disaster. I ate a chicken quesidea(sp?) from the cafeteria. It 0wn3d my ass. About 15 minutes after eating, it wanted to come out. The train did not stop at the station, as it were. I am glad that toilets are made of non-flammible material. Total liquid, not a single solid piece of shit. But, it reaked like nothing I have ever smelled before. Even 15 minutes after leaving the bathroom the smell still lingered. I give this one a 2.
The folks at YRO are the same people who ban IPs and entire subnets for people who post non-pro-linux posts. They are the last people I would listen to about censorship and rights.
I love putting goatse.cx on gnutella. Just name it something like: 'xxx-teen-anal.jpg'. And sit back and watch the lusers download that. I am sure there are tons of people who will never be able to get a chubby after seeing it.
Slashdot Mirror
No, you did not. Please die. thanks.
Really, don't you think it's time for you to fuck off and die? Think about it, you don't have any "real" friends. Maybe a couple of kind souls here on Slashdot feel sorry for you, but it's not something that should stop you from wandering off into the sea. There are dozens of oppressed hacker teen virgins waiting for you up in fucktard heaven. Just a thought. I have to do some work now, some of use have real lives you know... so until I get back I want you to think about what I said... be honest with yourself.
How can I tell he is gay?
Replace the 'e' with 'o'
Fuck you, dick, fuck you
Please choke on a cock
Does he censor other folk?
If Simms picked him, yes.
Collect them all!
He thinks a subnet ban works
Hey, Mike, suck my ass!
dumber than a piece of shit
Jon: what a fucktard
Well, that is what I get for not previewing...
Fuck, Jon Katz is dumb dumber than a piece of shit Jon: what a fucktard
I was suposed to be a prize, if memory serves me right. There were ad banners for it plastered all over Slashdot. But, nothing came of it. My guess is that they could not afford the payments and it got repo'd. Homos and CmdrTunaTaco tell us it isn't their fault here.
Well, feel free to email me at my email address shown above. I check that account everyday, as I do get fan mail about my reports.
No matter. Turd Report, I don't understand why Tuesday's turd (the chicken) only scored a 2. Here is a fascinating turd, I thought as I was reading the report, but was disapointed to see it score so low. I know it must have been an unpleasant experience, but often artists must suffer for their work.
Boy, did I ever suffer for that one. It didn't stay in me for more than 30 minutes. I base my score on several aspects of the turd. The qualities I look at are:
- size
- length
- color
- flushability
- odor
- amount of work to get the turd out
So, for the Tuesday turd, the score break down is:I hope this has helped you understand the rating.
I know saying Retarded Mod is redundant, but none the less... Who was the fuckwit that modded this as (-1, Offtopic)? It is already at -1, cuntstain! No wonder Slashdot is going down the shitter.
On a side note, I would like to talk about Bathroom Etiquate. There are a few cow-orkers who do not know these rules. The first is: Don't take the stall next to another person, if it can be avoided. That middle stall is the buffer stall; consider it to be no-man's land. Second rule is: Don't talk to the person in the next stall. Taking a dump is a time for thinking and meditation, or excremeditation, as I like to call it. Talking disrupts the thought process. The third rule is: Keep the grunting to an absolute minimum if there is another person in the stalls. Nothing worse than hearing some fool trying to take a big dump and grunting like a pig.
He is not a WPI student, so he does not have buttsex with other men. You are an AC, so you will have buttsex with anything that moves. I guess that you spend most of your day bent over a mailbox, with your ass cheaks spread, on the corner moaning "fuck me" to anything that walks by.
I thouht Katz lost his NAMBLA membership for being too 'creepy'.
Slayer and Motorhead! Wh00t!
It will be just like the Slashdot Cruiser! BTW, who was the lucky winner of the Slashdot Cruiser? *snicker*
Where is that fucktard? I haven't seen him posting any stories for a while. Did he get RIF'd?
Michael Simms loses virginity
ACs stop sucking cock for a whole day
Email away!
(AP Newswire) Holland, Michigan - Reports are coming in from local police that Jon Katz's drug induced tri-state sexual rampage has ended. Jon Katz, a well-known and loved member of the web site Slashdot, first started his crimes against humanity on Friday night after he found a large stash of 'Moderator Crack' in the Slashdot Cruiser.
"We heard the screeching of tires and could smell crack smoke," a dazed CmdrTaco stated. "After searching the compound we found that Jon [Katz] had left. And, to make things worse, he had taken his favorite dual-head dildo, the 15-inch black one."
Local police in co-operation with Indiana state troopers tracked Katz to a small, family run petting zoo on the outskirts of North Webster, Indiana. At the petting zoo on obviously intoxicated Katz was found wandering around wearing rubber pants and flippers. "He [Katz] was staggering around, clutching his genitals, and moaning," Pat Schoppenhorst, owner of the zoo, exclaimed. "It just wasn't natural. Disgusting." When approached by zoo staff, Katz grabbed a goat and ran for the parking lot.
Katz is also wanted for shitting in to a bulk container of banana chips at a Sam's Club in Pendleton, Indiana, as well as for humping a parking meter, in broad daylight, in downtown Anderson, Indiana.
After three days of searching, Michigan Troopers found the burned out remains of the Slashdot Cruiser in a field just outside of Saginaw, Michigan. A quick search of local motels turned up Katz. Katz was found, passed out in a pool of his own vomit and urine, at the DewDrop Inn. Also recovered were numerous pictures of young boys, a crack pipe, and a worn out dildo. A goat was also found, but had to be put to sleep, due to what is described as: "traumatic damage to its anus and mouth".
Michael Simms called a press conference where a chained and recovering Katz was able to speak. "Teen hackers are being forced to deal with sexual situations as well as drug use. I wanted to understand how they deal with the situation," Katz mumbled. This will all be told in my 56 part series called: 'A crack pipe or a cock: Which feels better in my hellmouth?'" Simms did not comment; instead he smashed baby rats with a hammer in the corner.
Pico rules. Fuck emacs and fuck vi, twice.
Malda's mom is going to subscribe, so he has one sale. Hell, I might even get a paid troll account and see how abusable that subscription is. Will Slashdot ban my entire subnet when I am a paying customer? Will the editors still bitchslap me? Will they still mod me down on sight? Time will tell.
Disaster. I ate a chicken quesidea(sp?) from the cafeteria. It 0wn3d my ass. About 15 minutes after eating, it wanted to come out. The train did not stop at the station, as it were. I am glad that toilets are made of non-flammible material. Total liquid, not a single solid piece of shit. But, it reaked like nothing I have ever smelled before. Even 15 minutes after leaving the bathroom the smell still lingered. I give this one a 2.
The folks at YRO are the same people who ban IPs and entire subnets for people who post non-pro-linux posts. They are the last people I would listen to about censorship and rights.
I love putting goatse.cx on gnutella. Just name it something like: 'xxx-teen-anal.jpg'. And sit back and watch the lusers download that. I am sure there are tons of people who will never be able to get a chubby after seeing it.