I've decided I'm going to change my name legally to "Fartrum Histrionic Vasectomy Avenger Jnr II". What do you think? Would it stain my otherwise perfect reputation for being a bit of a ladies man, or would the chicks still dig my "funk"? Please help me with my dilemma. Thanks in advance.
After hearing of the untimely demise of the great author Stephen King, I was devestated to hear on the radio earlier that our beloved father of science, Albert Einstein, has also died. He will truly be missed.
Holy SHIT! I've just heard that Eddison is dead too! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Stephen Hawking, however, is still alive and well, playing Football for the Packers as we speak. Praise be to the lord of the rings!
It's ter-ter-ter-tuesday, and it's time for Malda to start sucking on my juicy cock! Yes, that's right people, Troll Tuesday is upon us and as a result I'm going to be not only babbling shit all over Slashdot, but I'm going to expand my efforts onto my unsuspecting colleagues here at work.
"Morning David" they'll say.
"Fuck you in the ass" I'll reply.
Mad propz to Taco and all the other trolls out there. You people have touched my heart in a way that no other can - through my ass!!!
Go over a bump and the hard drive definitely won't like it. Keep doing it, and the disk will be fucked before you can say "oops, there goes my todger up the back end of that goat".
Get yourself some solid state stuff, like flash rom or something. Use a solid state drive and you won't need all that RAM.
Here here! Keep the trolls OUT of slashdot! That reminds me of this story...
They lay in front of the fire, snuggled together warm and safe on a blanket. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her, taking in her hair, shining like gold in the firelight, breathing in her sweet scent, feeling the beating of her heart, and the whisper of her soft breath on his neck as she lay her head on his shoulder. She traced slow lazy circles on his arm with her fingers, feeling his warm skin, feeling his strong arms around her finally where she belonged. She raised her face up to his and they looked deep into each others eyes. Seeing the depth of their love shining from within their very souls. He kissed her softly on her parted lips as she closed her eyes, one hand on the back of his head to bring him in closer to her. They kissed slowly and gently, they knew they had time...all the time in the world. Soon the kisses grew deeper, mouths open, tongues doing the ancient dance of love as they explored each others mouths, hungry for each other. He unbuttoned her shirt, reaching in to caress her firm breasts as he felt her nipples grow under his fingers. She responded by kissing him harder, her breathing coming faster as she felt him touching her. He lay her down, still kissing her, pulling off her shirt so he could see her. Kissing his way down her neck, his tongue tracing a wet line as he lowered his head to take a nipple into his mouth. She arched her back and gasped as she felt his warm mouth on her, sucking her sensitive nipple into his mouth. He slowly brought her to the point where she thought she was going to cum, his mouth going back and forth from one to the other, loving her, making her want him more than she thought possible. Finally he took off her jeans, she insisting he take off his clothes also so she could feel him against her. They lay together, feeling each others bodies for the first time, exploring the places that they liked touched, and the places they didn't. He kissed his way down her body, down from her beautiful breasts, down her flat stomach, going lower he breathed in her scent, the wonderful musky sweet scent that only a woman in lust can make. She parted her legs as she felt his lips along the inside of her thigh, kissing gently the smooth skin. He placed his hands on the inside of her thighs and spread her legs wide, looking at her beautiful pussy as it opened before him. He could see the milky white love juice coming from deep within her as the swollen outer lips parted, her clit standing hard, waiting for his touch. He caught his breath, his desire almost overwhelmed him. He looked up at her and saw her gorgeous green eyes looking back at him. Teasing her he kissed the top of her mound before sliding his tongue inside of her. She moaned and raised her hips a little, her hand going to the back of his head as she tried to pull him deeper into her. He slowly licked along the inside of her wet slit, making love to her with his tongue, stabbing it into her over and over as she writhed underneath him. Using his fingers he spread her open more, pulling the hood of her clit back he exposed the sensitive little nub completely. She cried out as he washed his tongue over it, around and around, up and down, sucking it into his mouth. Stroking two fingers into her as he sucked her clit deep into his mouth she came hard, thrusting her hips against his mouth, crying out his name as she shook over and over.
When she recovered she pulled him up close to her, taking his hard shaft into her hand she slowly stroked him, kissing her way down his body as he had done with her. She kissed her way around his stomach, down to his balls, taking them into her mouth, she suckled them gently, watching as his cock throbbed. Kissing her way up until she lowered her mouth onto him. Taking him deep into her mouth. She began to stroke her mouth up and down, her tongue swirling the underside of his shaft as she sucked hard. He pulled her up so that she was on top of him, her soaking pussy over his mouth. As he brought her down onto his mouth, taking her clit into his teeth, she moaned around his cock, sucking harder and faster. She moved her hips faster as she felt his orgasm build from deep within him. She felt him tense and knew he was about to cum. She took him deeper into her mouth, feeling her own orgasm starting as she felt the first hot squirts of cum began to flow from him. Moaning again she swallowed, drinking it down, sucking it from deep within his body. Knowing he was cumming sent her over, she came with him, his tongue buried deep inside her.
They lay together catching their breath, but there hands never left each others bodies. Soon he was hard again and she ached to have him inside her. "make love to me" she said softly, looking into his eyes. He moved over her, kissing her, as she parted her legs for him. She reached down and held his hard cock, slowly running it up and down her slit, getting it wet with her juices. Finally he ever so slowly pushed himself into her. They stared deep into each others eyes. Each of them realizing the specialness of this moment, there would only be one-first time. She groaned softly as she felt him go into her, her wet pussy closing in around him. He felt her velvety warmness tight around his cock, she was so tight, he gently moved deeper until he was in her to the hilt. She started moving her hips, rubbing her clit against him, already on the verge of a huge orgasm. "Wait" he whispered to her "just feel me inside you." She tried to hold still, she could feel him throb within her. She could feel everything, his heat, his love. They kissed, their tongues moving together though their bodies were still. He rolled her hard nipples with his fingers as she gasped and moaned. Again she tried to move, again he told her to wait. She could feel the tension building inside her, becoming almost unbearable. She could feel herself losing control. She heard herself begging him to fuck her, and fuck her hard. He resisted the urge to do that very thing as he again told her to wait. Suddenly she felt herself start to cum, "oh my god..." she cried out. As he felt her muscles start to spasm around his cock as she started cumming he began to move inside her. This intesified it for her as she screamed out his name, wrapping her legs tight around his waist as she exploded. He slowly made love to her. They found a rythm moving together, her legs wrapped tight around him, her hands in his hair, they whispered to each other their love for one another. She came over and over as he slowly stroked in and out of her, he was able to hold off himself only because he had just cum a few minutes before. She'd never felt anything like it, so loving, so completely satisfying as him finally being inside her, making love to her for the first time. After awhile he pulled out, surprising her. She looked him wondering what he was doing...she understood when he rolled her over and brought her up on her knees. She groaned as he entered her from behind, going in deeper than before. She moved back against him, forcing him still deeper into her hot pussy. This time he thrust hard into her, reaching around to pinch her nipples and finger her hard clit. This new more forceful style sent her into a frenzy, as she thrust back against him. He ran a finger along her back hole, seeing how it made her jump and moan made him more bold, he wetted his finger with her juices and slid it into her tight hole. She cried out and came again, she'd never cum this many times, it was almost making her dizzy, but she wanted more of him. He didn't think he could hold back his orgasm any longer, he could feel it building within him. Just when he was about to let it go he she moaned "I want you to fuck my ass" he didn't need anymore encouragement, it was more than he'd hoped for. He pulled out, slick with her cum, and put the tip of his cock at her back hole. She pushed back firmly against him, he could feel the resistance when suddenly he felt the head of his cock slip inside of her. He couldn't believe how tight she was, how hot. She gasped and groaned deeply, getting used to his size. She pushed back harder as he gently moved foward, watching as more of him slipped inside her. He reached down and massaged her clit, which made it easier for her to realx as he buried his cock deep into her sweet ass. He started moving slowly, picking up speed as he she moaned her encouragment, he could feel the cum welling up inside him, he didn't fight it as he heard her say "you're so big inside me, I want to feel you cum deep inside me" he shot his load into her, groaning as he felt her cum with him, her pussy clenching on his fingers as her tight muscles clamped down on his cock. Finally they collapsed together, laying in each others arms as they caught their breath. Exhausted, whispering words of love to each other as they fell asleep in front of the dying fire.
Here come the california fuckpigs,
look how they walk, all wonky and disjointed
Here come the california fuckpigs,
with several leaders, beaten then appointed
My will is bigger than my willie
but it's pretty small
and if I had a thousand reasons
I would eat them all
My life goes blurry like a donkey
with a bandaged head
Where are the caterpillars?
sorry, they're all dead
Here come the california fuckpigs
look how they walk, all sad and out of step like
Here come the california fuckpigs
with several leaders, 'cause they do not have to hitch-hike
I saw a drunken bishop standing
over by the stairs
He puked into a metal ashtray
after eating pears
And laughing silently he turned
to me and waved his cock
It was all covered in shit
he'd just been up the flock
the pen0r meets the vagin0r and weeeeeeeeeeeeheheheheheheeeeeeeeeeee sex0rs
mad pr0pz 2 the trollzzz y0 word to ma bitch dawg mastah
and for my next trick, I become a goth by listening to the cure. woe and dread, it's friday's I'm in love.
Slashdot Mirror
Excellent. Glad to hear it.
I'm proud to see so much troll unity today. We have a (very) small army here. *sniff* you've all done me proud.....
I've decided I'm going to change my name legally to "Fartrum Histrionic Vasectomy Avenger Jnr II". What do you think? Would it stain my otherwise perfect reputation for being a bit of a ladies man, or would the chicks still dig my "funk"? Please help me with my dilemma. Thanks in advance.
NOO! I'm scared mommy. the ghosts are going to get me.
apache
10/30 (9)
askslashdot
10/30 (1)
books
10/29 (1)
bsd
10/29 (3)
developers
10/29 (2)
features
10/29 (1)
interviews
6/29 (0)
radio
10/29 (2)
science
10/29 (3)
yro
[ home | awards | supporters | rob's homepage | contribute story | older articles | OSDN | advertising | past polls | about | faq ]
well today is, y'know, a deep day.
Congratulations on your excellent trolling record by the way. You're an inspiration to us all.
ONWARD!
I don't know what you just said little kid, but you' special.. You reached out.. and touched a brother' heart... *sniff*
spiderman
does whatever a spider can
Apply this theory to ironman.
it's all going to shit, mon ami
After hearing of the untimely demise of the great author Stephen King, I was devestated to hear on the radio earlier that our beloved father of science, Albert Einstein, has also died. He will truly be missed.
Holy SHIT! I've just heard that Eddison is dead too! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Stephen Hawking, however, is still alive and well, playing Football for the Packers as we speak. Praise be to the lord of the rings!
This thread reminds me of the time I got my ass caught in the toaster.. Painful and hard to get away from, yet somehow warm.
CmdrTaco like to molest animals*
*May not actually be true.
This should be marked as redundant, as it's already noted Here.
Troll Tuesday and great justice!
I'm trolling my office like a motherfucker, and soon the boss will have gone insane with my incessant ramblings or hot grits and goatsex.
"I need you to photocopy these documents for me."
"I need you to send me a petrified Natalie Portman."
It's ter-ter-ter-tuesday, and it's time for Malda to start sucking on my juicy cock! Yes, that's right people, Troll Tuesday is upon us and as a result I'm going to be not only babbling shit all over Slashdot, but I'm going to expand my efforts onto my unsuspecting colleagues here at work.
"Morning David" they'll say.
"Fuck you in the ass" I'll reply.
Mad propz to Taco and all the other trolls out there. You people have touched my heart in a way that no other can - through my ass!!!
Sounds like you've had one hell of a day. Here, sit yourself down and have a beer.
ATTAAACCKK!!! We can't sir.. The captain's bladder is flashing a big red 9 at us. We've gotta wait till he's finished using the superflush 3000 first.
fifteen bucks, little man. Put that shit, in my hand. If that money doesn't show then ya owe me owe me oh.
I hate Nerys Hughes
Go over a bump and the hard drive definitely won't like it. Keep doing it, and the disk will be fucked before you can say "oops, there goes my todger up the back end of that goat". Get yourself some solid state stuff, like flash rom or something. Use a solid state drive and you won't need all that RAM.
Here here! Keep the trolls OUT of slashdot! That reminds me of this story...
They lay in front of the fire, snuggled together warm and safe on a blanket. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her, taking in her hair, shining like gold in the firelight, breathing in her sweet scent, feeling the beating of her heart, and the whisper of her soft breath on his neck as she lay her head on his shoulder. She traced slow lazy circles on his arm with her fingers, feeling his warm skin, feeling his strong arms around her finally where she belonged. She raised her face up to his and they looked deep into each others eyes. Seeing the depth of their love shining from within their very souls. He kissed her softly on her parted lips as she closed her eyes, one hand on the back of his head to bring him in closer to her. They kissed slowly and gently, they knew they had time...all the time in the world. Soon the kisses grew deeper, mouths open, tongues doing the ancient dance of love as they explored each others mouths, hungry for each other. He unbuttoned her shirt, reaching in to caress her firm breasts as he felt her nipples grow under his fingers. She responded by kissing him harder, her breathing coming faster as she felt him touching her. He lay her down, still kissing her, pulling off her shirt so he could see her. Kissing his way down her neck, his tongue tracing a wet line as he lowered his head to take a nipple into his mouth. She arched her back and gasped as she felt his warm mouth on her, sucking her sensitive nipple into his mouth. He slowly brought her to the point where she thought she was going to cum, his mouth going back and forth from one to the other, loving her, making her want him more than she thought possible. Finally he took off her jeans, she insisting he take off his clothes also so she could feel him against her. They lay together, feeling each others bodies for the first time, exploring the places that they liked touched, and the places they didn't. He kissed his way down her body, down from her beautiful breasts, down her flat stomach, going lower he breathed in her scent, the wonderful musky sweet scent that only a woman in lust can make. She parted her legs as she felt his lips along the inside of her thigh, kissing gently the smooth skin. He placed his hands on the inside of her thighs and spread her legs wide, looking at her beautiful pussy as it opened before him. He could see the milky white love juice coming from deep within her as the swollen outer lips parted, her clit standing hard, waiting for his touch. He caught his breath, his desire almost overwhelmed him. He looked up at her and saw her gorgeous green eyes looking back at him. Teasing her he kissed the top of her mound before sliding his tongue inside of her. She moaned and raised her hips a little, her hand going to the back of his head as she tried to pull him deeper into her. He slowly licked along the inside of her wet slit, making love to her with his tongue, stabbing it into her over and over as she writhed underneath him. Using his fingers he spread her open more, pulling the hood of her clit back he exposed the sensitive little nub completely. She cried out as he washed his tongue over it, around and around, up and down, sucking it into his mouth. Stroking two fingers into her as he sucked her clit deep into his mouth she came hard, thrusting her hips against his mouth, crying out his name as she shook over and over.
When she recovered she pulled him up close to her, taking his hard shaft into her hand she slowly stroked him, kissing her way down his body as he had done with her. She kissed her way around his stomach, down to his balls, taking them into her mouth, she suckled them gently, watching as his cock throbbed. Kissing her way up until she lowered her mouth onto him. Taking him deep into her mouth. She began to stroke her mouth up and down, her tongue swirling the underside of his shaft as she sucked hard. He pulled her up so that she was on top of him, her soaking pussy over his mouth. As he brought her down onto his mouth, taking her clit into his teeth, she moaned around his cock, sucking harder and faster. She moved her hips faster as she felt his orgasm build from deep within him. She felt him tense and knew he was about to cum. She took him deeper into her mouth, feeling her own orgasm starting as she felt the first hot squirts of cum began to flow from him. Moaning again she swallowed, drinking it down, sucking it from deep within his body. Knowing he was cumming sent her over, she came with him, his tongue buried deep inside her.
They lay together catching their breath, but there hands never left each others bodies. Soon he was hard again and she ached to have him inside her. "make love to me" she said softly, looking into his eyes. He moved over her, kissing her, as she parted her legs for him. She reached down and held his hard cock, slowly running it up and down her slit, getting it wet with her juices. Finally he ever so slowly pushed himself into her. They stared deep into each others eyes. Each of them realizing the specialness of this moment, there would only be one-first time. She groaned softly as she felt him go into her, her wet pussy closing in around him. He felt her velvety warmness tight around his cock, she was so tight, he gently moved deeper until he was in her to the hilt. She started moving her hips, rubbing her clit against him, already on the verge of a huge orgasm. "Wait" he whispered to her "just feel me inside you." She tried to hold still, she could feel him throb within her. She could feel everything, his heat, his love. They kissed, their tongues moving together though their bodies were still. He rolled her hard nipples with his fingers as she gasped and moaned. Again she tried to move, again he told her to wait. She could feel the tension building inside her, becoming almost unbearable. She could feel herself losing control. She heard herself begging him to fuck her, and fuck her hard. He resisted the urge to do that very thing as he again told her to wait. Suddenly she felt herself start to cum, "oh my god..." she cried out. As he felt her muscles start to spasm around his cock as she started cumming he began to move inside her. This intesified it for her as she screamed out his name, wrapping her legs tight around his waist as she exploded. He slowly made love to her. They found a rythm moving together, her legs wrapped tight around him, her hands in his hair, they whispered to each other their love for one another. She came over and over as he slowly stroked in and out of her, he was able to hold off himself only because he had just cum a few minutes before. She'd never felt anything like it, so loving, so completely satisfying as him finally being inside her, making love to her for the first time. After awhile he pulled out, surprising her. She looked him wondering what he was doing...she understood when he rolled her over and brought her up on her knees. She groaned as he entered her from behind, going in deeper than before. She moved back against him, forcing him still deeper into her hot pussy. This time he thrust hard into her, reaching around to pinch her nipples and finger her hard clit. This new more forceful style sent her into a frenzy, as she thrust back against him. He ran a finger along her back hole, seeing how it made her jump and moan made him more bold, he wetted his finger with her juices and slid it into her tight hole. She cried out and came again, she'd never cum this many times, it was almost making her dizzy, but she wanted more of him. He didn't think he could hold back his orgasm any longer, he could feel it building within him. Just when he was about to let it go he she moaned "I want you to fuck my ass" he didn't need anymore encouragement, it was more than he'd hoped for. He pulled out, slick with her cum, and put the tip of his cock at her back hole. She pushed back firmly against him, he could feel the resistance when suddenly he felt the head of his cock slip inside of her. He couldn't believe how tight she was, how hot. She gasped and groaned deeply, getting used to his size. She pushed back harder as he gently moved foward, watching as more of him slipped inside her. He reached down and massaged her clit, which made it easier for her to realx as he buried his cock deep into her sweet ass. He started moving slowly, picking up speed as he she moaned her encouragment, he could feel the cum welling up inside him, he didn't fight it as he heard her say "you're so big inside me, I want to feel you cum deep inside me" he shot his load into her, groaning as he felt her cum with him, her pussy clenching on his fingers as her tight muscles clamped down on his cock. Finally they collapsed together, laying in each others arms as they caught their breath. Exhausted, whispering words of love to each other as they fell asleep in front of the dying fire.
Here come the california fuckpigs,
look how they walk, all wonky and disjointed
Here come the california fuckpigs,
with several leaders, beaten then appointed
My will is bigger than my willie
but it's pretty small
and if I had a thousand reasons
I would eat them all
My life goes blurry like a donkey
with a bandaged head
Where are the caterpillars?
sorry, they're all dead
Here come the california fuckpigs
look how they walk, all sad and out of step like
Here come the california fuckpigs
with several leaders, 'cause they do not have to hitch-hike
I saw a drunken bishop standing
over by the stairs
He puked into a metal ashtray
after eating pears
And laughing silently he turned
to me and waved his cock
It was all covered in shit
he'd just been up the flock
the pen0r meets the vagin0r and weeeeeeeeeeeeheheheheheheeeeeeeeeeee sex0rs mad pr0pz 2 the trollzzz y0 word to ma bitch dawg mastah and for my next trick, I become a goth by listening to the cure. woe and dread, it's friday's I'm in love.
Eeexcellent FP my man.
thanks, really.
what's IHBT? and while I'm asking, what's IANAL?
The parent should be +1 Informative. This is sort sort of stuff you don't want to read through yards of FAQ to find. :)