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User: Mayor+McPenisman

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  1. Re:I am NOT popeye the sailor man! on 16th IOCCC Winners Announced · · Score: -1

    salvia is the new drug-that-people go nuts over - let me dig up some links of anecdotes...

    how bout some cut n paste crapflood, em?

    It's been one week since the time I first experienced an extract of Salvia Divinorum, smoked in two hits, and amounting to a total estimated amount of 350-400mcg Salvinorin A, or 10 leaves. It's like nothing I've ever experienced, and it's also like everything I've ever experienced. The departure from reality is quite profound and one must desire such an effect when using Salvia. However, in order that this annotation may be viewed completely a more comprehensive story must be told.

    My experiences with mind-altering substances span a total of 22 years. I've used herbal and chemical psychedelics as an adjunct to my living and learning, for indeed the mind is of vast potential and the way of the cosmos is of great benefit. Having evolved my usage of substances to plants and entheogens during the past 5 years, I was quite keen on trying some Salvia extract that was offered to me that evening a week ago.

    After a hearty meal and a wholesome exchange of wisdom and joviality, the four of us settled in for the evening, all full of humor and radiance. A joint of some of my favorite Hindu Kush was passed around, filling us with energy and bliss. When asked if I would like to try the Salvia, I accepted and asked a number of questions. However, with each answer my excitement and anticipation rose to the point where I thought it would be unwise to indulge right away.

    After resting for 10 minutes or so and conversing on some subjects other than Salvia, I decided it was time to try it. I took one big hit and held it in for a while. I was surprised at how gentle it was, how it was not the least bit harsh on the throat, though tasting like cardboard. I took a second hit and the extract that had been mixed with dried leaves burned with a very intense bright orange glow. I held that hit in for a long time, exhaling slowly through my nostrils and luxuriating in the blue cloud of smoke forming around me.

    The last thing I said was "That's enough for me", and handed off the pipe. It was as though I had been suddenly dropped into the best section of one of my finest trips with LSD, where reality has vanished and exquisitely detailed hallucinations can be observed and studied. I felt quite comfortable in this space, as it seemed I had been there before. The entire room took on a wet streaking effect, as though the visual input were being rushed past each side of my head from the back to the front. What struck me about this vortex was that each part of the distortion could be inspected in close detail. I could look into each brightly colored fold and enjoy the highlights and shadows within the abstractions as they convoluted, interpreting them as I wished.

    The couch felt like a huge astronaut's seat propelling me backward through space, and I wanted to say something about the richness of the experience, but I felt as though there were particle forces holding me frozen in place. I wanted to smile but couldn't seem to remember how to do so. I imagined I was sitting there looking quite bored, detached from my body and unable to express anything, yet within my consciousness a vast fragmenting occurred. I looked at my friends but found them difficult to view since the vortex was giving them pointed ears and extended chins. I didn't want to laugh at them so I looked away to my right where the plants were.

    During the past month, a beautiful orchid had bloomed, producing clusters of exotic pink flowers. As I looked at this plant, each of the petals on every blossom slowly waved at me, and the long slender leaves appeared to be channeling the vortex, in an energy reaching from the depths of the earth to the heavens. I was able to observe each of these flowers as the vortex rushed past them. The details of animation were remarkable, and I could see the places where the petals were bending and catching the light with magnificent color.

    Although I could have remained transfixed on that plant, I decided to look around to see if there were any other amazing displays about. A bundle of wires against the opposite wall took on the same characteristics as the leaves of the orchid, seeming to channel the vortex energy that was still passing by from the back of my head.

    I then turned my head to look behind me, surmising that there may be something back there driving this force rushing by each side and flowing through the plants and wires. It was as though I knew I wouldn't be able to see anything but tried to take a peek anyway. I looked over my shoulder, saw nothing, then closed my eyes and perceived a fantastic array of blurred multicolored mandalas overlapping and passing one another in an opposite direction to the vortex.

    It occurred to me at that point I might take another look at the orchid, to see if it was still undulating. Upon opening my eyes the plant came into view and the waving petals continued, as if to say "we're still here!" and to guide me in this amazing journey. Again, each detail of every animated blossom was fascinating, and it seemed that I could understand how the vortex force was streaming past the plant, causing the movement on each petal. I remained staring at the plant until the effects of the Salvia subsided and the animation ceased.

    I turned to my friends and said "Wow, that was excellent". They had a number of questions for me now, and we exchanged some of the manifestations and insights the Salvia had produced. By now I had regained control of my body and couldn't help but giggle and laugh along with them about some of the things I had witnessed. The Salvia experience has a "kooky" aspect about it. The effects are so bizzare that one can feel as though they are watching a cartoon that has gone haywire. It's like a big carnival, like taking a roller coaster ride, throwing darts at colorful balloons to win a prize, eating cotton candy, running through a fun house, riding a favorite horse on the merry-go-round, playing a ace game of pinball in the arcade. All at the same time.

    The effects wore off slowly through the rest of the evening. I was able to concentrate upon small areas in my field of vision and see the vortex making the content warp and evolve through a series of stages. I slept quite well, and when I awoke the next morning I could still see some vortex distortions taking place in the early morning darkness, like a small transparent luminous coin floating a few feet away.

    The following week I was full of joy and wonderment. I was able to look at people's faces in a new light, aware that the vortex force was running through them, just as it had run through myself and the plant. Yet perhaps the most significant impression I received from the Salvia was that this world we live in, this "reality" we fabricate and cultivate so carefully, is nothing. To know there is a place so separate from here, and so easily accessible, removed many of the obstacles that were preventing me from realizing my true being.

    The lesson Salvia taught was "Don't take this reality thing so seriously. There is so much more than it. Take your time and enjoy it all, since you could be gone at any time." Indeed, I was not here for a short time, I might as well have been dead while under the influence of the Salvia, but certainly not dead in a negative sense. With this death came a rebirth, and a courage to continue, knowing that this illusion we call reality can be shattered at will, at any time, through the power of a delicate and velvety leaf.

    Just for the record:

    Take approximately 30 dried leaves of Salvia divinorum, crush by hand, place in a mason jar and soak in about 1/2 cup of denatured alcohol. Soak for about 2 hours, then decant the alcohol into a small dish. Add about 5 crushed leaves, and then set a small fan to speed the evaporation process. Since alcohol will absorb a small amount of water, the last bit of moisture is driven off by preheating the oven to 250 F, turning it off and placing the dish within, completely drying the extract in about 15 minutes. ALWAYS have an alert and loving sitter available when using this extract.

  2. Re:I am NOT popeye the sailor man! on 16th IOCCC Winners Announced · · Score: -1

    Drugs, eh? Which kinds, what quality?
    I reccomend hash/pot/doobies of high quality, mescaline (working on finding some), salvia (have not tried it yet, but it is legal), peyote (no dice on this one either.

    Avoid whippits - watching people doing that made me sick
    Avoid X - it is not worth the potential depression
    beer is fun, cigs can be fun with friends...dunno what else

  3. I am NOT popeye the sailor man! on 16th IOCCC Winners Announced · · Score: -1

    I am NOT popeye the sailor man!
    but I do live in a garbage can!
    toot-toot!

  4. Re:MK-Ultra experiments on children on How to Save PGP · · Score: -1

    I know MK Ultra was real, and I know they tested durgs on American citizens. I know of one (1) man who died because of it. In addition, my brother did a pretty in-depth report on the tuskeegee(sp) exp. So I totally know that the CIA are a binch of wackos. But when yokels say that a nine year-old has been part of the exps. then I laff and laff and laff.

    Send me the link tho. I'll give it a spin.

  5. Re:any surprise? on Netscape 6 is Spyware? · · Score: -1

    you are the dumbest dumb that ever did dumb. I feel bad about reaching to my keyboard to berate you.

  6. Re:MK-Ultra experiments on children on How to Save PGP · · Score: -1

    So you believe this garbage, or you just want to make me laugh? I could find a just-as-convincing article about alien abduction - probably written by the same hack. Basically, if no respectable publication has picked up on it I treat with contempt. Uh-oh, there are shadowy figures in control of our lives! Better call Mulder and Scully!

    Fuck off, man. Try the copy and paste on news I might believe.

  7. Re:The easiest way to join is to, on Linuxcare Founders Go Wireless · · Score: -1

    Jesus, I wake up this morning thinking I waz gonna break 200 posts. Instead I almost hit 225. I need to get out more.

    Here is some cut and paste from me to you:

    One winter I became a trapper. I was 12 years old. We lived in Colorado and there were muskrats in the creek about a half mile from our house.

    I got pretty good at it, laying down the traps at dusk and picking up the muskrats and empty traps at dawn. It was cold though and wet. At the end of the winter I had 23 pelts.

    And then I found out that I had dried them wrong, and the pelts were no good for sale. I only got $.25 cents each and they should have brought $3 each.

    I never trapped again.

  8. Re:John Zerzan on To The Pain · · Score: -1

    People who believe in Anarchism should walk into the middle of a mob. There's some self-rule for you. People are dumb, and probably about 13 percent of all people would go ape-shit crazy if we had self-rule. Hell, I might get curious and start acting like a doctor one day, just to see how it is. Fuck man, if you want to be idealistic be a communist. At least they can go live confortably in communes of around 40 people . It naturally breaks down for any larger number of people.

  9. Re:Interesting experiment on To The Pain · · Score: -1

    poop in a urinal

    It would also be interesting to, oh, I don't know, read a book, or start a library. Maybe you should go to a dairy and find out how milk in produced.

    In summing up, my fellow citizens, you are a dummy dumb dumb.

  10. Re:To The Pain - The Reference on To The Pain · · Score: -1

    Nice work asshole. Did you ever think that maybe, just maybe you should have not told everyone what that meant so that we could all feel superior to the dolts who have never seen the Tour de Force work of Fred Savage in that role? All you scientific types love sharing information.

    Oh, look at me, I am sharing information!
    blah blah blah blah blah

    Man, what did I stick in my ass last night?

  11. Re:figures on To The Pain · · Score: -1

    kielbasa is a POLISH food assnozzle. Go to Chicago and and order a nice German kielbasa and I hope they murder you and bathe you in lamb's blood. The Germans are the ones who ruthlessly killed the Polish. Rememeber that.

  12. Re:Somehow on To The Pain · · Score: -1

    replace word German with Japanese. THEY have the world hotdog eating champion. THEY used to sell used panties in vending machines (true!). Japan has to be the most fucked up ever. Case in point: extreme hardcore porn with the fucking PUBIC HAIR blurred out.

    pause

    oh, so tentacle rape is fine, but pubic hair is just the worst ever.

    And the people are so damn polite and nice to each other. At least in America our media has a predictable influence on sociological actions of the masses. I rarely seen Japanese people raping each other with tentacles, so I am just dumbfounded.

  13. Re:A step forward for tactile peripherals... on To The Pain · · Score: -1

    Watch it man, the CIA killed MLK once already, so try no to be so vocal in the future, ok?

  14. Re:Hmmm.... on To The Pain · · Score: -1

    I only gots one thing to say, so I'll say it, Clem:

    ownage.

  15. Re:German? on To The Pain · · Score: -1

    you have gone beyond being a dumby dumb dumb to being a true dumbass. Thank you for posting as AC so that I cannot form a real image of how stupid you must be. I am writing this message longer then it needs to be because I have to kill the 2 minutes it takes to get another post. I like the irony of having to be more annoying to kill the time until I can post again.

  16. Re:LIke 007!!! on To The Pain · · Score: -1

    Everyone who plays pro thunderball knows that the gun never was and will never be taken out of the gun circle. How could you have honor in a sport when a person uses the gun in the gun circle??

  17. Re:The easiest way to join is to, on Linuxcare Founders Go Wireless · · Score: -1

    You truly love cut and paste, don't you. I think one of the greatest inventions in history may just be the cut and paste. Either that or fondue.

  18. Re:Robotroll, troll, dead at 54 on Linuxcare Founders Go Wireless · · Score: -1

    okay, I am in the tub, and my viens are cut lengthwise, the water is quite red with my own vitality. Whats the lest step? Better reply quick though...

  19. Re:Linux *is* in the home...in stealth mode on Alan Cox: The Battle for the Desktop · · Score: -1

    Stop making me giggle you BOSA asshole-a. Shove off ya hoser. I would love to sink into that cake DOGGY-STYLE

  20. Re:Sputnik uses NoCat captive portal on Linuxcare Founders Go Wireless · · Score: -1

    Sorry dude, my name is Sputnik Jones and I wrote tha motherfucker. I didn't want to take any credit cus I get too much pussy and it would make me look bad.

    I can fly in ten different colors.

  21. Re:It sounds wonderful, except... on Linuxcare Founders Go Wireless · · Score: -1

    You really are a dummy dumb dumb. Rot in hell you magnificent bastard!

    It has been one minute since I last posted.

    It still has been one minute since I last posted.

  22. Re:Robotroll, troll, dead at 54 on Linuxcare Founders Go Wireless · · Score: -1

    Can I join the choir invisible? I sing a great vibrato and can turn invisible at will.

    Oh, may I join the choir invisible
    Of those immortal dead who live again
    In minds made better by their presence; live
    In pulses stirred to generosity,
    In deeds of daring rectitude, in scorn
    For miserable aims that end with self,
    In thoughts sublime that pierce the night like stars,
    And with their mild persistence urge men's search
    To vaster issues. So to live is heaven:
    To make undying music in the world,
    Breathing a beauteous order that controls
    With growing sway the growing life of man.
    So we inherit that sweet purity
    For which we struggled, failed, and agonised
    With widening retrospect that bred despair.
    Rebellious flesh that would not be subdued,
    A vicious parent shaming still its child,
    Poor anxious penitence, is quick dissolved;
    Its discords, quenched by meeting harmonies,
    Die in the large and charitable air,
    And all our rarer, better, truer self
    That sobbed religiously in yearning song,
    That watched to ease the burden of the world,
    Laboriously tracing what must be,
    And what may yet be better, -- saw within
    A worthier image for the sanctuary,
    And shaped it forth before the multitude,
    Divinely human, raising worship so
    To higher reverence more mixed with love, --
    That better self shall live till human Time
    Shall fold its eyelids, and the human sky
    Be gathered like a scroll within the tomb
    Unread forever. This is life to come, --
    Which martyred men have made more glorious
    For us who strive to follow. May I reach
    That purest heaven, -- be to other souls
    The cup of strength in some great agony,
    Enkindle generous ardour, feed pure love,
    Beget the smiles that have no cruelty,
    Be the sweet presence of a good diffused,
    And in diffusion ever more intense!
    So shall I join the choir invisible
    Whose music is the gladness of the world.

  23. Re:fp on Linuxcare Founders Go Wireless · · Score: -1

    Man I used to be a huge fan of trackball. It used to be worth it just to laugh watching friends try and use it. Now that optical mice are common, I stick to a logitech wheel mouse. I don't think logitech has ever done anything to piss me off, unlike MS, and ergonomics IS in their dictionary - I am positive that MS zapped that particular word out of every one of their drone's brains. The MS explorer is one unwieldy mothafucka.

    penis

  24. Re:Linux *is* in the home...in stealth mode on Alan Cox: The Battle for the Desktop · · Score: -1

    You are a dummy dumb dumb. Not for a big reason or anything, it just pisses me off when people point out innane things.

  25. Re:Bah.... on Alan Cox: The Battle for the Desktop · · Score: -1

    Fuck, I know where that is from, I now need to kill myself for living with a ST fan for a year.