"Sr. Linux System Administrator - Laboratory for Nuclear Science, MIT
I like: coffee, guitar, writing, women, source code, quality organic food, foreign cinema, politics, and clear thinking; not necessarily in that order."
I believe this man's life is guided by one overarching principle: He knows better than everyone else. Yes, here we have an "independent thinker," one who feels superior to the majority by professing belief in fashionable minority opinions. Linux, foreign films, organic food, Green Party (I don't doubt)... yes! We have here a man caught up in his own little insular world of coffeehouse, bad music, and ivory tower liberalism.
But wait... he's no ordinary poseur. He's an MIT man! Well, dropping a hefty name like that certainly puts us all in our places. This school gave birth to revolutionary minds like Stallman and Chomsky! He's hobnobbing with the big shots at Cambridge vegan restaurants! He's so much better than us, I wouldn't even be surprised if he used public transportation to get to work. He's an earth-conscious kind of guy.
Here's the treatment I recommend for our friend: removal of head from ass twice daily. The fact that he finds discussion on $lashdot to be "intellectual" reveals the fact that he's really a vapid tool -- all pretension and no substance. Geeks of his stripe come a dime a dozen. $lashdot is not an idealistic garden of knowledge. No mystical truths are revealed here. In fact, this site isn't even that useful as a Linux news site. The only brains behind $lashdot are in the head of whoever VA Software is paying to cook the books enough to keep the company in existence. The contributors to this site are 13 year-olds, programmers, and sys admins. These three groups have remarkably similar psychological makeup, so the groupthink here is not surprising. But there's nothing "intellectual" about a geek circle-jerk.
Imagine a joyless life rendered bearable by a false sense of superiority. You've imagined Maynard. He has no cohesive philosophy of life; he's a collector of cheesy ideas, forced into an uneasy collage of hip collegiate attitude. Here's a dash of Eastern religion... here's a dash of anti-corporate sentiment... a little moral relativism for flavor. Bah. A know-nothing disguised as a know-it-all.
Hey Maynard, let loose. Troll life. I got a 1600 on my SATs, Maynard; according to your distorted view of reality, that makes me even smarter than you. So follow my advice (cause I know you're reading this, you arrogant bastard): give up the game. The people you see during the day: the guy flipping your tofu burger, the fat lady sitting in a cubicle, the roofer tossing shit down into his truck -- they're all at least as good as you, and they probably do more for society than you ever will. Sure, they will be forgotten when they are dead. But so will you, turd. So isn't it about time to get your thumb out of your ass and lighten up a little? Trolls aren't here just to piss you off. We're here to laugh at you. You. Cause -- and if you took yourself less seriously, you'd easily see this -- you're the funniest thing around. Dumbass.
Aquarium discovers two GAY PENGUINS
on
Lots of Ice On Mars
·
· Score: -1, Troll
SUMMARY: Officials at the New York Aquarium finally realize that the most dedicated couple in the penguin enclosure is a pair of males.
Wendell and Cass would be more comfortable in a Greenwich Village one bedroom apartment than their current home at the New York Aquarium.
The male penguins, each about 14 years old, can't get enough of each other. The couple has been together for the past eight years, and the two have sex with each other whenever they can, which is often.
Presumably penguins can tell the guys from the gals, but aquarium officials apparently can't. For years they thought the pair was one of each. The truth didn't come out until aquarium staff carried out a blood test.
Angie Pelekedis, a spokeswoman for the aquarium on Coney Island, said: "They're one of the most dedicated couples in the penguin enclosure."
Penguin keeper Stephanie Mitchell added: "I was only seeing one mate with the other, but then one of the other keepers saw it happen the other way round so we did a blood test that proved they were both male.
"Cass tends to be a rather aggressive bird. Wendell is very nervous; always has been. He's on edge all the time. They're currently in a dispute with another couple over their nest. It seems to be one of the most desirable places in the penguin enclosure."
With a twinkle in his eye and a skip in his step, RMS slammed his sky-blue Chevette's rusted-out car door and turned on heel toward the MIT Zoo entrance. Today was a Sunday, and RMS had decided the daily stresses of Free Software, the GPL, and his "crazy drug habits" could go away for just one afternoon while he enjoyed the zoo.
"That'll be twenty-five dollars, sir," the lady at the admission booth said glumly. She looked at RMS expectantly. "I was expecting this zoo to be Free," RMS stated loudly, eyes darting around to gauge onlookers' reactions. There was none. RMS's capital F had went unnoticed. "Can you ensure me that this money will not help fund--"
The admissions lady cut him off. "Twenty-five dollars, or twenty bucks with a Mr. Pibb can," the lady cut in.
With a grumble and shake of his beard, RMS handed over twenty five of his hard-earned dollars. Considering that the GPL works to unemploy programmers, one must wonder where this money came from... By evening, RMS found himself in front of the penguin exhibit. He felt himself start to sweat, which would have been no surprise-- his thick, full, grizzly beard must be worth a thousand down comforters-- except that he was wearing only a pair of nylon biking shorts and a travel pack around his waist. He stared at his hands. What was wrong?
"AWWWK!" a nearby bird offered. RMS wheeled in the direction the screech had come from. He was met with the steely, unfeeling stares of a penguin. "AWK! Ooooh God, the penguin said AWK... lord, lord lord, it's LINUX. THE PENGUIN IS TUX!" RMS blurted out. He felt dizzy, and cold sweat now washed over his brittle, hairy chest. He looked this way and that. From nearby a bird again squawked.
"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWK"
RMS ran as fast as his atrophied hippy-programmer legs could carry him, right thru a gate and into an exhibit. He realized what he had done, and before he could turn around, he heard a low, ominous sound. Like the Devil's riding mower.
He was standing in the Gnu section, and it seemed these bull yaks were in rut and ready to mate with the first hairy thing with a hole in its center they found. Bad luck for RMS and his beard. Just then he felt cloven hooves push him down...
When you have a crime to investigate, and you have no suspects, where do you start? Obviously you begin by looking at the person or persons who have the most to gain by perpetrating the crime.
This is why we must consider: who had something to gain from the disasterous crimes of September 11th? Obviously not Osama Bin Laden, who would net no financial windfall from the destruction of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Although he has loudly applauded the "terrorist" acts of September 11th and even tacitly taken credit for them, there is no reason to believe that he is anything more than a bandwagon jumper. Being blamed for the destruction of the World Trade Center has done more for his image than any amount of militant Islamic rhetoric.
But if not Bin Laden, then who?
It so happens that on December 11th, "coincidentally" 2 months after the tragedy, Credit Suisse First Boston quietly agreed to pay out US$100 million in order to settle an 18 month old investigation into its handling of certain high-profile technology IPOs (Initial Public Offerings). One of the most controversial amongst these being the IPO of VA Linux Systems, Inc. (LNUX).
VA Linux Systems, Inc., now known as VA Software, is widely derided as a poster child of the dot-com bust, though inexplicably still in business. At the time of the IPO, VA Linux (Software) shares opened trading at nearly 10 times their $30 offer price, closing the first day of trading at $239.25. This meteoric rise made many early investors rich, strangely on account of a company which purports to sell a hobbyist operating system which can be obtained for free on the Internet. "The VA Linux initial public offering is a prime example of market manipulation in an IPO by investment banks, their customers and the issuing firm," said Steven Schulman, a partner in the law firm Milberg Weiss Bershad Hynes & Lerach, which specializes in filing shareholder suits.
"Because certain favored customers of the investment banks agreed to buy shares in a new issue at inflated prices in the aftermarket (in return for getting an allocation of the shares at the initial offering price) the share prices to which the IPO eventually soared were actually driven by artificial market forces," continues Schulman.
But what does the VA Software (Linux) IPO have to do with the attacks on September 11th, and what has that to do with the Credit Suisse settlement? Well, considering that VA Linux (Software) got CSFB into trouble in the first place, it stands to reason that the VA Linux (Software) Board of Directors were complicit in the stock fraud from beginning to end. As the investigation progressed against CSFB, the unscrupulous VA Software/Linux executives, their pockets bulging with filthy lucre plundered from trusting, hard-working investors, must have realized that their days in the country club were numbered if the SEC discovered their wrongdoings.
The SEC, or Securities Exchange Commission, is a federal regulatory agency, and cannot be bribed. Therefore, with a possible stint in federal prison looming large, Larry Augustin and the rest of the crooks, including outspoken gun violence advocate Eric S. Raymond, decided to undertake more active means to halt the investigation.
The Plan
It so happened that all the evidence in the CSFB/VA Linux investigation was held at the SEC Northeast Regional Office in Manhattan. More specifically, 7 World Trade Center, Suite 1300. The board decided that a simple burglary or arson attempt would not be satisfactory to destroy the evidence; anything so simple had a significant chance of being botched, and regardless of success would leave too many witnesses or living accomplices.
It was then that Eric S. Raymond suggested something he had read in a book by Tom Clancy. Crashing two planes into the World Trade Center Plaza would guarantee the destruction of the SEC offices, killing the operatives and possibly a number of SEC investigators at the same time. The plan seemed flawless, and would cost little more than the price of a few plane tickets. In a secret session, the board voted unanimously in favour of Eric's suggestion, and began to put it into action.
VA Software/Linux, at the time of planning the attacks, had no shortage of H1-B visa workers, who they employed for the purpose of writing and improving hacking, encryption, and other terrorist tools for the Linux operating system. It had been decided that a hand-picked few of these foreign H1-B workers would be used as the "patsies" in the operation. A contest was held, and the most zealotous Linux advocates were chosen for this secret assignment, direct from the board of directors. They accepted their mission after being told that, if successful, it would guarantee the adoption of Linux in the desktop market.
Alan Cox was brought into the fold to provide some planning and logistics for the mission. It was he who determined that since there was no adequate flight simulator software for Linux, the patsies would need to train at a flight school in order to pull off the plan successfully. It was also his idea to hijack a third and fourth plane for the purpose of crashing them into Washington D.C., to express his extreme rage over the DMCA, or Digital Millenium Copyright Act. The board of directors agreed with this addition to the plan in the hopes that it would help divert attention from the purpose of the WTC attack.
The H1-B workers were given false identities by using Linux hacking tools. Once they had attended the necessary flight training, they stayed at the Massachusetts home of Richard M. Stallman for a brief "faith building" retreat. During this time spent at the house of Stallman, between the nauseating stench of patchouli, Stallman's incessant, pitiful recorder playing, and Stallman's droning seminars on the grammatical and syntactical accuracy of various statements by Microsoft representatives, the H1-B workers were effectively hypnotized to the point that they were ready to lay down their lives for Free Software. It was then that they departed for Boston's Logan International Airport to board the planes.
(The preceding inside information has been obtained from a credible source close to the VA Linux/Software Board of Directors. He/she is in hiding for obvious reasons in light of this damning evidence, but has presented hard, physical evidence of VA Software/Linux's complicity in the events of 9/11 to federal investigators.)
Win2K and the SAK Offser Superior Value Over Linux
on
Homemade Gauss Gun
·
· Score: -1
This white paper describes the complete appliance solution of Windows 2000 and the Microsoft Server Appliance Kit 2.0. The paper also describes seven key benefits to OEMs that use Windows 2000 and the SAK 2.0 over similar Linux-based solutions.
SummaryThe Windows 2000 appliance solution offers OEMs industry-leading performance and scalability, high availability, and data protection. Appliances powered with Windows are also customized and pre-configured for a specific function such as file serving or Web content serving, allowing for fast and simple deployment. Therefore, these appliances based on Windows 2000 offer both OEMS and their customers superior value when compared with similar Linux-based solutions.
Specifically, Windows 2000 and the Microsoft Server Appliance Kit 2.0 provide a range of benefits for their customers. Benefits include:
=Faster time to market =Ease of deployment and administration =Interoperability across multiple network =operating systems
=Lower cost of ownership and development =Clarity of intellectual property ownership =Predictability of the development process
My mother always told me never to disturb a hornet's nest. Those critters will come after you with all their fury. It seems that's what I did with my last column, " Free Software. Is it Worth the Cost? " (MIND, May 1999). I'm going to use this column to respond to the large amount of email received at the MIND offices in the last week.
First, I should say what these two columns are not. I'm not here to criticize Linux. I'm sure it's a fine operating system; its market share is substantial. Folks who use it seem satisfied. While I might have a few bones to pick with Linux as it stands today, I'm not interested in getting into a shouting match over Linux.
I'm also not interested in defending Microsoft. I don't wish to be drawn into an argument about the size, marketing practices, or quality of Microsoft code. That's not what this column is about. Frankly, a company as fast on its feet as Microsoft can change and thrive in almost any environment. I don't worry about its future.
This column is about the question: should intellectual propertyâ"more specifically, softwareâ"be "free"?
Many respondents thought I was confused on the concept of free as it applied to software. They quoted the "think free speech, not free beer" statement from the Free Software Foundation Web site, http://www.fsf.org/philosophy/free-sw.html. I think I was on the money. For the definition of free, let's use the four freedoms listed on the FSF site, specifically on the URL listed above. The third of these freedoms is "The freedom to redistribute copies so you can help your neighbor." Well folks, if you can freely distribute copies of a program you didn't produce, it's pretty much free in the beer sense as well as the speech sense. It's the freedom to distribute that brings this back to a discussion about economics as well as freedom.
Reading the GNU manifesto (http://www.fsf.org/gnu/manifesto.html) is enlightening and I recommend anyone discussing this topic to do so. However, in its pure form, the GNU concept does envision a world where general-purpose software is freely availableâ"a world where the programmers are hired for support of this public software. Boy, that's what I live for, maintaining someone else's code.
I like a world where a programmer can sit in a spare bedroom hacking away late at night. When the product is ready, the budding young entrepreneur can sell the product. All the toils of late-night development may then be rewarded with, among other things, a nice pile of cash. This flies in the face of the GNU concept where the product can be distributed by anyone to anyone. Per copy licenses allow a one-to-many multiplier when it comes to the value a programmer generates. Without it, a programmer is left selling his or her skills as a journeyman hacker to the large companies that use the freely distributed software.
If GNU software becomes the norm, of course programmers won't starve. To quote the manifesto, "The real reason programmers will not starve is that it will still be possible for them to get paid for programming; just not paid as much as now." That's a bright future for a high school counselor to put in front of a kid. Sure, some folks will program for the love of it, myself included. It's not a bad thing, though, to be paid and paid well for a program well written. A few companies are paying programmers to write either "free" software or open source software, but large companies like Apple and Netscape have license agreements that violate the spirit and even the word of the GNU General Public License.
This leads me to my last point. Many of the respondents jumped all over the fact that I stated "It's hard to compete if your competition is free" without mentioning Microsoft Internet Explorer. I have less than a thousand words to make a point in this column, so some things have to be understood, not stated explicitly. Of course Internet Explorer is free. However, the developers who wrote Internet Explorer were paid for their efforts.
Finally, last month's column has been used by many as an example of FUD by a Microsoft employee. I'm not, nor have I ever been, an employee of Microsoft. My column is written on my own, thousands of miles from the MIND offices. Now, clearly this column is published in a magazine produced by Microsoft employees, so I am not going to maintain that I am free to say just anything, but any censorship is self-imposed, not the result of pressure from Microsoft. The recently appended disclaimer at the foot of the column is the direct result of my editors wanting to disassociate themselves from my opinions while at the same time allowing me the space to state them.
These two columns have been about discussing the concept of intellectual property and whether it should be "free" or owned. Intelligent people can take either side of the argument. I'm not bashing the other side, I'm disagreeing with it. Folks on the "free" side ought to consider that there is another side to the issue and debate it intellectually, not emotionally. In any case, it's time to move on. I welcome opportunities to debate the topic in other arenas.
The opinions expressed herein are those of Douglas Boling and should not be construed as the opinions of Microsoft Corporation.
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For the second time tonight, $lashdot's backend is so mangled that I can't log in or view nested comments. Of course, we've come to expect this by now; it's not an infrequent occurance. My real gripe is about the complete lack of professionialism on the part of the $lashdot staff.
The site is supposedly viewed by many thousands of people every day. Presumably they have adequate resources, or they wouldn't waste their money keeping Jon Katz around. So why is their server down or screwed up so often? It doesn't reflect well on Slash, VA, or Linux; it's really amateur stuff. Isn't there a level of redundancy that could easily prevent these troubles? Hell, even trollaxor.com is up and running tonight.
Another thing to point out is that I rarely see non-troll users mentioning these downtimes. Is the open source community used to sitting around and waiting until problems clear up? $lashdot's downtime is like an uncle's molestation conviction - you just don't talk about it, because it might bring shame to the family. Those fools don't know how to fix their own systems, but they know that however screwed up they are, they're still better than a Windows server would be, yes siree...
I suppose we can't expect too much professionalism from a bunch who don't even bother to spell check their stories. Hell, they obviously don't even read their own site very often, judging by the number of double posts. Maybe I'm the only one who finds it insulting to see a modern business run more sloppily than a high school newspaper. Maybe I've come to expect too much from a few washed-up, wannabe geeks from Michigan.
But all I ask is one simple thing. If you don't take pride in what you do, and you waltz through the world day after day without one iota of concern for the quality of the product you produce, aren't you just going through the paces? Maybe before they write another trite story bashing Microsoft's sloppy product line, they should take a look at the quality of the service $lashdot is contributing to the "geek" world.
Hello, Slashdot! Here are a few Christmas-time riddles to keep your holidays bright and cheerful!
Q. How is Jon Katz like a yule log? A.The only useful purpose they serve is causing flames.
Q. What does CowboyNeal have in common with Santa's sleigh? A.Approximate size.
Q. What do John Katz's underpants have in common with a Christmas tree? A.Little kids spend a lot of time playing underneath them.
Q. How is Slashcode like an old set of Christmas lights? A.There's always going to be parts that don't work.
Q. How is the CowboyNeal poll option like a Christmas fruitcake? A.They might seem okay at first, but trust me: it's only because you don't know how old they are.
Q. What does Hemos have in common with a stocking? A.They both spend a lot of time rubbing against tranvestites' legs.
Q. How is Jon Katz like a candy cane? A.They're both curved where it counts, and both get white and sticky after little boys and girls suck on them.
Q. What does VA Software have in common with Christmas decorations? A.You won't be seeing them two months from now.
Q. How is Unix like Kwanzaa? A.They were both invented in the 60's, and both are kept alive by leftists who don't know any better.
Q. What does CmdrTaco have in common with a snowman? A.Spelling ability, lack of genitals, and a simplistic smile which betrays a complete absence of intelligent thought. (Also, both of them usually have a carrot jammed somewhere in their body.)
...and finally...
Q. How is Slashdot like a Christmas wreath? A.Both wouldn't be the same if it weren't for that big hole! [goatse.cx]
Merry Christmas from the Roto-Rooter Man, Slashdot! Don't forget... this holiday season, douche someone you love!
Stephen Hawking is obviously faking his illness. If he really had ALS, he'd be dead by now. He's been nothing but a fraud since the early 60's.
Everyone calls him "the most brilliant theoretical physicist since Einstein" and "the smartest man in the world," but truth be told, he hasn't done much of anything. The little that he has done will likely be found to be wrong if we ever get enough data from black holes to test his theories. People just say nice things about him because he's in a wheelchair. His real genius is realizing that people will believe anything a cripple says. Meanwhile, he's motorized himself to the top of the pop-science world by publishing a couple books really written by his graduate students at Cambridge.
Stephen Hawking is an ugly, demented man, and one of the biggest science frauds in history. None of the science he has published has led to any practical use, and the vast majority of his work is groundless speculation. Don't hold your breath waiting for him to discover the true Grand Unified Theory; that will be found by a real scientist, not some sick man pretending to be crippled. If Hawking's name is attached to it at all, it will only be so the real theorists can better publicize their work. His actual contribution to the theory will be zero.
Fuck Stephen Hawking for being an immoral fake. I hope some British tabloid catches him walking around the beach or something. And, while I'm at it, fuck Christopher Reeve for being a real cripple who gets better pussy than I ever will.
The fact that NONE of my many beowulf cluster posts are in your "troll library" PROVES, beyond all doubt, that I am NOT a troll, even though the slashditz mhod ghods constistently rate me as one, and I even got IP banned because of it.
Therefore, since it has been demonstrated that I am not a troll, I will politely suggest that you all imagine a beowulf cluster of these "troll libraries", and I will ask once again, if I will be able to use your fine troll library softwares to run on my Linus beowulf cluster.
Thanks you all for your times I will now retire back to playing my favorite game of the Linus OS, DOOM. It is a game in which you the player run through a maze, shooting scary monsters and evil humans. When you shoot the human they say "Hey! Hey!"
I wonder if Slashdot readers have thought about the opinion of the general public of Open Source/GNU/Linux etc.
I have been involved in the marketing (dirty word I know!) of software and hardware to non-technical people for a number of years. The consultancy group I work for numbers many of America's top blue-chip electronics and software corporations among its clients, I have over 11 years experience of marketing, and 4 years experience of software development (VB) and systems administration (NT 3.51), in addition to a marketing science qualification from one of America's top business schools - so it's safe to say that I know what I am talking about when it comes to computers and marketing.
I have been keeping an eye this forum for quite some time now, as part of my daily intelligence gathering, I find the robust exchange of views, and technical arguments make an interesting diversion from some of the other corporate bullshit I have to deal with in my working day. I also read corporate intelligence reports from the Gartner group, Forrester, the Meta group, and Olsen Online Business Intelligence Services. Slashdot has often proved to be far more accurate when it comes to the technical details,and I am often amazed at the incredible levels of intelligence and insight shown by its readership, some of whom demonstrate a knowledge of Linux and Operating systems far in advance of anyone I have ever met, even in the IS department of major corporations. For this reason, I feel I should contribute my 2c to the debate about the future direction of Linux and the whole Open Source movement in general.
I feel I can do my bit for the Open Source community by offering (free of charge) some of my hard-earned knowledge straight from the bloody trenches at the front-line of tech-Marketing. Normally I would be paid over $4000/day for my perspective, but Slashdot - this one's on me. You people can think of it as my small and unworthy attempt to "give something back" to the Community.
Why Linux/Open Source has an image problem in major US Corporations and what the community can do about it. Like any movment, political or religious, Open Source/Linux has its Leaders, High priests and Gurus. These high profile individuals represent the public face of the organization. Like it or not, these people are associated with the product in the eyes of the buying public. One of the first things the Linux movement must do in order to gain acceptence by middle-America and Joe-and-Jean Sixpack and their 2.4 kids, is to develop what we in the Marketing profession call a "Happy Face".
When Joe Sixpack drives past a McDonald's, he associates it with the smiling face of Ronald McDonald the clown,and quality food served quickly. When he is choosing a collect-call company, the smiling face of Al Bundy (of TV's Married with Children) springs to mind, and when he thinks of fried chicken in large capacity bucket-like containers, it is the image of the happy-go-lucky avuncular Colonel with his associations of good old Southern hospitality that sticks in his memory. (In marketing terms this is known as a "positive association". Because the image puts the consumer into a "buying-receptive" mental state).
Linux/Open Source lacks any kind of "Happy Face". Now this in itself is not a problem, were it not for the fact that Linux has several extremely high-profile advocates who are the exact opposite of "Happy Faces" in that they invite negative associations into the consumers head and put him/her into a state known by Marketers as "passive-aggressive sales-message rejection" (In layman's terms they don't want to buy the product).
Now, I will not lower the tone of the debate by naming names. I will give a few brief profiles and community members will know who I am talking about.
In reverse order of harmfullness we have the laconic, dour nothern European. Not known for his sense of hunor, and with far too many nights spent coding when he should have been out partying he creates an image of Linux as the OS of choice for "friendless geeks who never got laid". (note - I do not subscribe to this viewpoint, but trust me some of my focus group members do).
Then we have the good old gun-toting libertarian self-proclaimed open source guru. Although M.R. studies show that 78% of PC owners show right-wing bias this person is too wacko and off-the scale for them. He alienates them, and in the worst case scares them that they risk being physically harmed if they don't agree with his fundamentalist libertarian "philosophy".
Finally we have a bearded Communist hippy. Do I need to say any more ?
So the normal consumer associates Linux with a sucicidal friendless nerd from some godforsaken corner of Northern Europe, a plainly insane right wing lunatic, and an "alternative lifestyle" Communist throwback to Woodstock with a facial hair problem. Is it any wonder that time after time, the message comes back from my focus groups that Linux is for wierdos ?
Here are a few example comments from a focus group session from Q3 1999 in response to a question about their attitudes to Linux and open source software, you'll get the general idea.
Linux - that's that geek system right ? I tried Linux but it was too hard for me to install, then that guy flamed me on the newsgroups I don't want any Open Source software because it is written by communists and I am concerned about security My boss says Linux was written by Communists and Gun-Nuts Linux is used by Communists who hate capitalism and Microsoft Open source software cannot be any good because it is written by college students and hackers. Linux is not compatible with my USB peripherals I would like to try Linux but my buddies would think I was a Commie
I could go on and on with these genuine responses, but I think I've illustrated my point well enough. Linux has a serious image problem.
What to do about it is more problematic. Open Source proponents and Linux advocates are fiercely independent and proud of their alternative stance. They see any form of marketing as "selling out to da man" or "not groking it" or becoming a "suit" Any mention of money or financial rewards is derided, and developers are supposed to be content with "Kudos" from the community. Whilst this might be ok at college, or if you are tremendously wealthy, it cuts no ice with Joe Sixpack who was raised on Microsoft and associates Bill's millions with the quality of the software his company puts out. From the focus group again:
If Bill (Gates) is worth that much money he must make the best software in the world. Microsoft must know what they are doing - the whole world uses their software. The best programmers work for Microsoft - they have the most tech-savvy hackers there. Microsoft spend millions on their software I think it is the best in the world. (referring to IE5)
Again the message is clear: Microsoft is winning the hearts and minds not only of Joe Sixpack, but also Juan Sixpack in South America, Jean-Paul Sixpack in France, Jeroen Van der Sixpack in the Netherlands, Nkwele-Olamu Sixpack in West Africa, Mohammed-Al-Sixpack in Iran, Kulwant Chandrasekhera Sixpack in India, and Boris Sixpack in the Russian Federation.
Their message is powerful, international, and presented relentlessly with no internal bickering and bitching.
What can be done ?
There are no easy answers. The Linux/Open Source community has proved unwilling or unable to accept critisim (even constructive criticism such as this) gracefully, preferring to mount foul-languaged assaults on the personal integrity of anyone who steps out from the party line.
I offer no easy solutions, however here are a few pointers:
As a damage limitation exercise Linux/GNU should appoint itself a "Marketing Spokesperson". This person would be the "official face of Linux/GNU/Open Source". First and Foremost, they would wear an expensive suit, especially when talking to the press or when dealing with high-profile major corporation with deep pockets and $$$s to spend. I realise this is ridiculous from a technical perspective, but with my blend of tech-savvy and marketing exprience, I realize the importance of presentation over technical merit. It goes against the grain of the community, but if we are to become the next Microsoft (and why else would we be in this game if not to win it at all costs), we must fight them on our battleground, but with the same weapons they use against us.
The Penguin logo MUST go ASAP. Although it seemed "cute" and funny at the time, in the eyes of the corporate MIS department it just looks juvenile. Linux needs a new logo, preferably one of those kind of eliptical ones with a swoosh that in the eyes of the public can mean one thing: Hip and cool DOTCOM Corporation. The logo should be bland, yet robust, non-controversial yet ahead of the curve, and toned in serious businesslike colors such as gray, silver, and white. It should transcend culture and religion to be internationally recognized like the Coca-Cola image is all over the world.
Downplay RMS, Linus, ESR, etc. They are technicians with zero understanding of the general public, or of software consumers in general. Indeed many of them only write their program for themselves to "scratch an itch". This is hardly the way to gain public acceptance.
Direct X - A MAJOR stumbling block on Linux's road to world domination is the lack of Direct X support for Linux. This trivial omission means that most games will not run on Linux. Linux could gain 1000's of new games by simply implementing the DirectX api. This is a no-brainer. Kernel support for XML would be a big performance booster too in the B2B and B2C application area, and would make Linux buzzword compliant for XML.
Finally FOCUS GROUPS. Before you think about starting that new open-source project, (be it a new web browser like Mazola, or simply a new front-end for the cdplayer application) Get a focus group together. Use a few minutes of your non-tech-savvy friend's time. If you don't have any friends like that, try your folks, or your grandparents. Ask them what they would like to see in your new program. This way, you will gain "market perspective" on the likely acceptance of your product by the "normal people" of the world.
Troll Library wird Turdartikeln verkaufen !
on
SSSCA Hearing
·
· Score: -1
Troll Library steigt in Turdartikel-Markt ein / Bücher - der Verkaufsschlager im WeihnachtsgeschÃft Mit neuen Produkten will die Troll Library für die Kundschaft attraktiver werden. Nachdem im WeihnachtsgeschÃft unter anderem auch Bücher und CDs verkauft wurden, sind in Troll Library stellen nun auch Turd- und Papeterieartikel des tÃglichen Bedarfs zu haben. Ende Februar startet Troll Library stellen und Verkauf einen entsprechenden Versuch. Mit dem Verkauf von Turdartikeln entspricht die Troll Library einem grossen Kundenwunsch.
Ãoeber 50 Prozent der Troll Library kundinnen und kunden begrüssen den Verkauf von Turd- und Papeterieartikeln in Troll Library stellen. Das zeigt eine Umfrage bei rund 2200 Befragten in 40 Troll Library stellen in der ganzen Schweiz. Deshalb startet der GeschÃftsbereich Troll Library stellen und Verkauf (PV) ab heute Montag einen Pilotversuch. Bis Mitte MÃrz werden insgesamt rund 120 Troll Library stellen, darunter auch alle Troll Library Centers, mit einem breiten, abgerundeten Sortiment an Turdartikeln ausgerüstet. Angeboten werden Schreibwaren, SchreibgerÃte, Ordner und Ablagesysteme sowie kleinere TurdgrÃte. Der Kundschaft stehen 146 Artikel zur Auswahl - vom Turdlocher über MalblÃcke bis hin zum Schüleretui und Spiralnotizblock. Erfahrungen aus WeihnachtsgeschÃft
Mit dem Einstieg in den Papeteriemarkt wird die im letzten Jahr vom Troll Library -Verwaltungsrat gutgeheissene Retail-Strategie konsequent umgesetzt. GemÃss dieser Strategie fÃrdert PV gezielt den Verkauf von Drittprodukten. Ziel ist es, mit diesen Drittprodukten EinkommensausfÃlle bei den Troll Library produkten wettzumachen. So wurde im Basler Troll Library Center zum Beispiel eine Kaffe-Bar oder in der Zürcher SihlTroll Library ein Kiosk eingerichtet. Zudem wurden im letzten November und Dezember in zahlreichen Troll Library stellen verschiedene neue Sortimente getestet, darunter Bücher, CDs, DVDs, Videos, Batterien und Schokoriegel. Die in diesem Weihnachts-Testlauf gemachten Erfahrungen sind positiv. Jean-Paul Savary, stellvertretender Leiter PV und Leiter Verkauf: Zwar liessen sich nicht alle Produkte gleich gut vermarkten, doch wir sind auf dem richtigen Weg. Das ist das das grosse Verdienst der Mitarbeiterinnen und Mitarbeiter! Vor allem Bücher erwiesen sich als Verkaufsrenner. Das Buch-Sortiment wird deshalb auf weitere Troll Library stellen ausgedehnt. Hingegen blieben die CD-VerkÃufe hinter den Erwartungen zurück. Savary: Insgesamt zeigt die Verkaufskurve nach oben. Aber selbstverstÃndlich müssen wir noch zulegen. Auch organisatorisch kÃnnen wir uns noch verbessern. Testlauf bis Ende Jahr
Diese Erfahrungen fliessen nun auch in den Versuch mit den Turd- und Papeterieartikeln ein. Die nun anlaufende Testphase ist bis Ende Jahr befristet. VerlÃuft der Versuch erfolgreich, wird das Turd-Sortiment etappenweise in weiteren Troll Library stellen eingeführt. Als Ziel wird gemÃss heutiger Planung anvisiert, in ein bis zwei Jahren in rund 1800 Troll Library stellen Turd- und Papeterieartikel vertreiben zu kÃnnen
Will Slashdot post this story, or pretend it doesn't exist? What would they do if this was a Microsoft problem?
Flaw weakens Linux security
Programmers have found a vulnerability in Linux (news - web sites) that could allow protective firewall software to grant malicious computer users access to protected networks.
The flaw, which affects versions 2.4.14 through 2.4.18-pre9 of the Linux kernel, is in a component of the Netfilter firewall software. The component is involved when two computer users chat directly with each other using the Internet Relay Chat (IRC) system.
Information sent across the Internet is broken up into tiny "packets," each with "from" and "to" addresses, indicating who's sent the information and where it's intended to go. So-called firewall software transmits or screens out these packets based on the address of the sender.
Netfilter, among the new aspects of the 2.4 version of the Linux kernel, is software that runs within the kernel to filter out unwanted packets. But its IRC helper component configures firewall settings too broadly, potentially allowing communication from IP (Internet Protocol) addresses that should be blocked.
Programmers working on the Netfilter firewall software project reported the problem Monday.
Versions 7.1 and 7.2 of leading Linux seller Red Hat's product are vulnerable. The Durham, N.C.-based company issued a patch Thursday that corrects the problem. The flawed software isn't installed by default on the Red Hat versions, the company said, but some users may have added it.
Security is a nagging concern for the computer industry, which must juggle new features with the risk that they open up new problems. While the firewall problem the Netfilter programmers discovered is limited to a few versions of Linux, a more serious problem emerged earlier this month affecting numerous operating systems using standard network management software.
Slashdot Mirror
"Sr. Linux System Administrator - Laboratory for Nuclear Science, MIT
I like: coffee, guitar, writing, women, source code, quality organic food, foreign cinema, politics, and clear thinking; not necessarily in that order."
I believe this man's life is guided by one overarching principle: He knows better than everyone else. Yes, here we have an "independent thinker," one who feels superior to the majority by professing belief in fashionable minority opinions. Linux, foreign films, organic food, Green Party (I don't doubt)... yes! We have here a man caught up in his own little insular world of coffeehouse, bad music, and ivory tower liberalism.
But wait... he's no ordinary poseur. He's an MIT man! Well, dropping a hefty name like that certainly puts us all in our places. This school gave birth to revolutionary minds like Stallman and Chomsky! He's hobnobbing with the big shots at Cambridge vegan restaurants! He's so much better than us, I wouldn't even be surprised if he used public transportation to get to work. He's an earth-conscious kind of guy.
Here's the treatment I recommend for our friend: removal of head from ass twice daily. The fact that he finds discussion on $lashdot to be "intellectual" reveals the fact that he's really a vapid tool -- all pretension and no substance. Geeks of his stripe come a dime a dozen. $lashdot is not an idealistic garden of knowledge. No mystical truths are revealed here. In fact, this site isn't even that useful as a Linux news site. The only brains behind $lashdot are in the head of whoever VA Software is paying to cook the books enough to keep the company in existence. The contributors to this site are 13 year-olds, programmers, and sys admins. These three groups have remarkably similar psychological makeup, so the groupthink here is not surprising. But there's nothing "intellectual" about a geek circle-jerk.
Imagine a joyless life rendered bearable by a false sense of superiority. You've imagined Maynard. He has no cohesive philosophy of life; he's a collector of cheesy ideas, forced into an uneasy collage of hip collegiate attitude. Here's a dash of Eastern religion... here's a dash of anti-corporate sentiment... a little moral relativism for flavor. Bah. A know-nothing disguised as a know-it-all.
Hey Maynard, let loose. Troll life. I got a 1600 on my SATs, Maynard; according to your distorted view of reality, that makes me even smarter than you. So follow my advice (cause I know you're reading this, you arrogant bastard): give up the game. The people you see during the day: the guy flipping your tofu burger, the fat lady sitting in a cubicle, the roofer tossing shit down into his truck -- they're all at least as good as you, and they probably do more for society than you ever will. Sure, they will be forgotten when they are dead. But so will you, turd. So isn't it about time to get your thumb out of your ass and lighten up a little? Trolls aren't here just to piss you off. We're here to laugh at you. You. Cause -- and if you took yourself less seriously, you'd easily see this -- you're the funniest thing around. Dumbass.
From the annals of the Troll Library .
Wendell and Cass would be more comfortable in a Greenwich Village one bedroom apartment than their current home at the New York Aquarium.
The male penguins, each about 14 years old, can't get enough of each other. The couple has been together for the past eight years, and the two have sex with each other whenever they can, which is often.
Presumably penguins can tell the guys from the gals, but aquarium officials apparently can't. For years they thought the pair was one of each. The truth didn't come out until aquarium staff carried out a blood test.
Angie Pelekedis, a spokeswoman for the aquarium on Coney Island, said: "They're one of the most dedicated couples in the penguin enclosure."
Penguin keeper Stephanie Mitchell added: "I was only seeing one mate with the other, but then one of the other keepers saw it happen the other way round so we did a blood test that proved they were both male.
"Cass tends to be a rather aggressive bird. Wendell is very nervous; always has been. He's on edge all the time. They're currently in a dispute with another couple over their nest. It seems to be one of the most desirable places in the penguin enclosure."
From the annals of the Troll Library .
"That'll be twenty-five dollars, sir," the lady at the admission booth said glumly. She looked at RMS expectantly. "I was expecting this zoo to be Free," RMS stated loudly, eyes darting around to gauge onlookers' reactions. There was none. RMS's capital F had went unnoticed. "Can you ensure me that this money will not help fund--"
The admissions lady cut him off. "Twenty-five dollars, or twenty bucks with a Mr. Pibb can," the lady cut in.
With a grumble and shake of his beard, RMS handed over twenty five of his hard-earned dollars. Considering that the GPL works to unemploy programmers, one must wonder where this money came from... By evening, RMS found himself in front of the penguin exhibit. He felt himself start to sweat, which would have been no surprise-- his thick, full, grizzly beard must be worth a thousand down comforters-- except that he was wearing only a pair of nylon biking shorts and a travel pack around his waist. He stared at his hands. What was wrong?
"AWWWK!" a nearby bird offered. RMS wheeled in the direction the screech had come from. He was met with the steely, unfeeling stares of a penguin. "AWK! Ooooh God, the penguin said AWK... lord, lord lord, it's LINUX. THE PENGUIN IS TUX!" RMS blurted out. He felt dizzy, and cold sweat now washed over his brittle, hairy chest. He looked this way and that. From nearby a bird again squawked.
"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWK"
RMS ran as fast as his atrophied hippy-programmer legs could carry him, right thru a gate and into an exhibit. He realized what he had done, and before he could turn around, he heard a low, ominous sound. Like the Devil's riding mower.
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" RMS gasped.
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
He was standing in the Gnu section, and it seemed these bull yaks were in rut and ready to mate with the first hairy thing with a hole in its center they found. Bad luck for RMS and his beard. Just then he felt cloven hooves push him down...
From the annals of the Troll Library .
When you have a crime to investigate, and you have no suspects, where do you start? Obviously you begin by looking at the person or persons who have the most to gain by perpetrating the crime.
This is why we must consider: who had something to gain from the disasterous crimes of September 11th? Obviously not Osama Bin Laden, who would net no financial windfall from the destruction of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Although he has loudly applauded the "terrorist" acts of September 11th and even tacitly taken credit for them, there is no reason to believe that he is anything more than a bandwagon jumper. Being blamed for the destruction of the World Trade Center has done more for his image than any amount of militant Islamic rhetoric.
But if not Bin Laden, then who?
It so happens that on December 11th, "coincidentally" 2 months after the tragedy, Credit Suisse First Boston quietly agreed to pay out US$100 million in order to settle an 18 month old investigation into its handling of certain high-profile technology IPOs (Initial Public Offerings). One of the most controversial amongst these being the IPO of VA Linux Systems, Inc. (LNUX) .
VA Linux Systems, Inc., now known as VA Software, is widely derided as a poster child of the dot-com bust, though inexplicably still in business. At the time of the IPO, VA Linux (Software) shares opened trading at nearly 10 times their $30 offer price, closing the first day of trading at $239.25. This meteoric rise made many early investors rich, strangely on account of a company which purports to sell a hobbyist operating system which can be obtained for free on the Internet. "The VA Linux initial public offering is a prime example of market manipulation in an IPO by investment banks, their customers and the issuing firm," said Steven Schulman, a partner in the law firm Milberg Weiss Bershad Hynes & Lerach, which specializes in filing shareholder suits.
"Because certain favored customers of the investment banks agreed to buy shares in a new issue at inflated prices in the aftermarket (in return for getting an allocation of the shares at the initial offering price) the share prices to which the IPO eventually soared were actually driven by artificial market forces," continues Schulman.
But what does the VA Software (Linux) IPO have to do with the attacks on September 11th, and what has that to do with the Credit Suisse settlement? Well, considering that VA Linux (Software) got CSFB into trouble in the first place, it stands to reason that the VA Linux (Software) Board of Directors were complicit in the stock fraud from beginning to end. As the investigation progressed against CSFB, the unscrupulous VA Software/Linux executives, their pockets bulging with filthy lucre plundered from trusting, hard-working investors, must have realized that their days in the country club were numbered if the SEC discovered their wrongdoings.
The SEC, or Securities Exchange Commission, is a federal regulatory agency, and cannot be bribed. Therefore, with a possible stint in federal prison looming large, Larry Augustin and the rest of the crooks, including outspoken gun violence advocate Eric S. Raymond, decided to undertake more active means to halt the investigation.
The Plan
It so happened that all the evidence in the CSFB/VA Linux investigation was held at the SEC Northeast Regional Office in Manhattan. More specifically, 7 World Trade Center, Suite 1300. The board decided that a simple burglary or arson attempt would not be satisfactory to destroy the evidence; anything so simple had a significant chance of being botched, and regardless of success would leave too many witnesses or living accomplices.
It was then that Eric S. Raymond suggested something he had read in a book by Tom Clancy. Crashing two planes into the World Trade Center Plaza would guarantee the destruction of the SEC offices, killing the operatives and possibly a number of SEC investigators at the same time. The plan seemed flawless, and would cost little more than the price of a few plane tickets. In a secret session, the board voted unanimously in favour of Eric's suggestion, and began to put it into action.
VA Software/Linux, at the time of planning the attacks, had no shortage of H1-B visa workers, who they employed for the purpose of writing and improving hacking, encryption, and other terrorist tools for the Linux operating system. It had been decided that a hand-picked few of these foreign H1-B workers would be used as the "patsies" in the operation. A contest was held, and the most zealotous Linux advocates were chosen for this secret assignment, direct from the board of directors. They accepted their mission after being told that, if successful, it would guarantee the adoption of Linux in the desktop market.
Alan Cox was brought into the fold to provide some planning and logistics for the mission. It was he who determined that since there was no adequate flight simulator software for Linux, the patsies would need to train at a flight school in order to pull off the plan successfully. It was also his idea to hijack a third and fourth plane for the purpose of crashing them into Washington D.C., to express his extreme rage over the DMCA, or Digital Millenium Copyright Act. The board of directors agreed with this addition to the plan in the hopes that it would help divert attention from the purpose of the WTC attack.
The H1-B workers were given false identities by using Linux hacking tools. Once they had attended the necessary flight training, they stayed at the Massachusetts home of Richard M. Stallman for a brief "faith building" retreat. During this time spent at the house of Stallman, between the nauseating stench of patchouli, Stallman's incessant, pitiful recorder playing, and Stallman's droning seminars on the grammatical and syntactical accuracy of various statements by Microsoft representatives, the H1-B workers were effectively hypnotized to the point that they were ready to lay down their lives for Free Software. It was then that they departed for Boston's Logan International Airport to board the planes.
From the annals of the Troll Library .
SummaryThe Windows 2000 appliance solution offers OEMs industry-leading performance and scalability, high availability, and data protection. Appliances powered with Windows are also customized and pre-configured for a specific function such as file serving or Web content serving, allowing for fast and simple deployment. Therefore, these appliances based on Windows 2000 offer both OEMS and their customers superior value when compared with similar Linux-based solutions.
Specifically, Windows 2000 and the Microsoft Server Appliance Kit 2.0 provide a range of benefits for their customers. Benefits include:
=Faster time to market
=Ease of deployment and administration
=Interoperability across multiple network =operating systems
=Lower cost of ownership and development
=Clarity of intellectual property ownership
=Predictability of the development process
From the annals of the Troll Library .
My mother always told me never to disturb a hornet's nest. Those critters will come after you with all their fury. It seems that's what I did with my last column, " Free Software. Is it Worth the Cost? " (MIND, May 1999). I'm going to use this column to respond to the large amount of email received at the MIND offices in the last week.
First, I should say what these two columns are not. I'm not here to criticize Linux. I'm sure it's a fine operating system; its market share is substantial. Folks who use it seem satisfied. While I might have a few bones to pick with Linux as it stands today, I'm not interested in getting into a shouting match over Linux.
I'm also not interested in defending Microsoft. I don't wish to be drawn into an argument about the size, marketing practices, or quality of Microsoft code. That's not what this column is about. Frankly, a company as fast on its feet as Microsoft can change and thrive in almost any environment. I don't worry about its future.
This column is about the question: should intellectual propertyâ"more specifically, softwareâ"be "free"?
Many respondents thought I was confused on the concept of free as it applied to software. They quoted the "think free speech, not free beer" statement from the Free Software Foundation Web site, http://www.fsf.org/philosophy/free-sw.html. I think I was on the money. For the definition of free, let's use the four freedoms listed on the FSF site, specifically on the URL listed above. The third of these freedoms is "The freedom to redistribute copies so you can help your neighbor." Well folks, if you can freely distribute copies of a program you didn't produce, it's pretty much free in the beer sense as well as the speech sense. It's the freedom to distribute that brings this back to a discussion about economics as well as freedom.
Reading the GNU manifesto (http://www.fsf.org/gnu/manifesto.html) is enlightening and I recommend anyone discussing this topic to do so. However, in its pure form, the GNU concept does envision a world where general-purpose software is freely availableâ"a world where the programmers are hired for support of this public software. Boy, that's what I live for, maintaining someone else's code.
I like a world where a programmer can sit in a spare bedroom hacking away late at night. When the product is ready, the budding young entrepreneur can sell the product. All the toils of late-night development may then be rewarded with, among other things, a nice pile of cash. This flies in the face of the GNU concept where the product can be distributed by anyone to anyone. Per copy licenses allow a one-to-many multiplier when it comes to the value a programmer generates. Without it, a programmer is left selling his or her skills as a journeyman hacker to the large companies that use the freely distributed software.
If GNU software becomes the norm, of course programmers won't starve. To quote the manifesto, "The real reason programmers will not starve is that it will still be possible for them to get paid for programming; just not paid as much as now." That's a bright future for a high school counselor to put in front of a kid. Sure, some folks will program for the love of it, myself included. It's not a bad thing, though, to be paid and paid well for a program well written. A few companies are paying programmers to write either "free" software or open source software, but large companies like Apple and Netscape have license agreements that violate the spirit and even the word of the GNU General Public License.
This leads me to my last point. Many of the respondents jumped all over the fact that I stated "It's hard to compete if your competition is free" without mentioning Microsoft Internet Explorer. I have less than a thousand words to make a point in this column, so some things have to be understood, not stated explicitly. Of course Internet Explorer is free. However, the developers who wrote Internet Explorer were paid for their efforts.
Finally, last month's column has been used by many as an example of FUD by a Microsoft employee. I'm not, nor have I ever been, an employee of Microsoft. My column is written on my own, thousands of miles from the MIND offices. Now, clearly this column is published in a magazine produced by Microsoft employees, so I am not going to maintain that I am free to say just anything, but any censorship is self-imposed, not the result of pressure from Microsoft. The recently appended disclaimer at the foot of the column is the direct result of my editors wanting to disassociate themselves from my opinions while at the same time allowing me the space to state them.
These two columns have been about discussing the concept of intellectual property and whether it should be "free" or owned. Intelligent people can take either side of the argument. I'm not bashing the other side, I'm disagreeing with it. Folks on the "free" side ought to consider that there is another side to the issue and debate it intellectually, not emotionally. In any case, it's time to move on. I welcome opportunities to debate the topic in other arenas.
The opinions expressed herein are those of Douglas Boling and should not be construed as the opinions of Microsoft Corporation.
From the annals of the Troll Library .
Of course the TPL will be added the and source code of your post will distributed as well.
Sorry Sir I am off my game tonight.
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From the annals of the Troll Library .
Dear Troll,
We are pleased to inform you that your troll has been added to the Troll Library.
Thank you for your contribution.
The site is supposedly viewed by many thousands of people every day. Presumably they have adequate resources, or they wouldn't waste their money keeping Jon Katz around. So why is their server down or screwed up so often? It doesn't reflect well on Slash, VA, or Linux; it's really amateur stuff. Isn't there a level of redundancy that could easily prevent these troubles? Hell, even trollaxor.com is up and running tonight.
Another thing to point out is that I rarely see non-troll users mentioning these downtimes. Is the open source community used to sitting around and waiting until problems clear up? $lashdot's downtime is like an uncle's molestation conviction - you just don't talk about it, because it might bring shame to the family. Those fools don't know how to fix their own systems, but they know that however screwed up they are, they're still better than a Windows server would be, yes siree...
I suppose we can't expect too much professionalism from a bunch who don't even bother to spell check their stories. Hell, they obviously don't even read their own site very often, judging by the number of double posts. Maybe I'm the only one who finds it insulting to see a modern business run more sloppily than a high school newspaper. Maybe I've come to expect too much from a few washed-up, wannabe geeks from Michigan.
But all I ask is one simple thing. If you don't take pride in what you do, and you waltz through the world day after day without one iota of concern for the quality of the product you produce, aren't you just going through the paces? Maybe before they write another trite story bashing Microsoft's sloppy product line, they should take a look at the quality of the service $lashdot is contributing to the "geek" world.
From the annals of the Troll Library .
We are plesed to inform you that, after careful consideration, we have accepted your troll into the Troll Library.
You show a masterful skill at trolling.
Thank you for your time and your contribution.
We are plesed to inform you that, after careful consideration, we have accepted your troll into the Troll Library.
You show a masterful skill at trolling.
Thank you for your time and your contribution.
Whats next, We are gonna start charging for Trolls???
We are plesed to inform you that, after careful consideration, we have accepted your troll into the Troll Library.
You show a masterful skill at trolling.
Thank you for your time and your contribution.
Whats next, We are gonna start charging for Trolls???
We are plesed to inform you that, after careful consideration, we have accepted your troll into the Troll Library.
You show a masterful skill at trolling.
Thank you for your time and your contribution.
Whats next, Im gonna start charging for Trolls???
We are plesed to inform you that, after careful consideration, we have accepted your troll into the Troll Library.
You show a masterful skill at trolling.
Thank you for your time and your contribution.
We are plesed to inform you that, after careful consideration, we have accepted your troll into the Troll Library.
You show a masterful skill at trolling.
Thank you for your time and your contribution.
We are plesed to inform you that, after careful consideration, we have accepted your troll into the Troll Library.
You show a masterful skill at trolling.
Thank you for your time and your contribution.
Q. How is Jon Katz like a yule log?
A. The only useful purpose they serve is causing flames.
Q. What does CowboyNeal have in common with Santa's sleigh?
A. Approximate size.
Q. What do John Katz's underpants have in common with a Christmas tree?
A. Little kids spend a lot of time playing underneath them.
Q. How is Slashcode like an old set of Christmas lights?
A. There's always going to be parts that don't work.
Q. How is the CowboyNeal poll option like a Christmas fruitcake?
A. They might seem okay at first, but trust me: it's only because you don't know how old they are.
Q. What does Hemos have in common with a stocking?
A. They both spend a lot of time rubbing against tranvestites' legs.
Q. How is Jon Katz like a candy cane?
A. They're both curved where it counts, and both get white and sticky after little boys and girls suck on them.
Q. What does VA Software have in common with Christmas decorations?
A. You won't be seeing them two months from now.
Q. How is Unix like Kwanzaa?
A. They were both invented in the 60's, and both are kept alive by leftists who don't know any better.
Q. What does CmdrTaco have in common with a snowman?
A. Spelling ability, lack of genitals, and a simplistic smile which betrays a complete absence of intelligent thought. (Also, both of them usually have a carrot jammed somewhere in their body.)
Q. How is Slashdot like a Christmas wreath? A. Both wouldn't be the same if it weren't for that big hole! [goatse.cx]
Merry Christmas from the Roto-Rooter Man, Slashdot! Don't forget... this holiday season, douche someone you love!
From the annals of the Troll Library .
Everyone calls him "the most brilliant theoretical physicist since Einstein" and "the smartest man in the world," but truth be told, he hasn't done much of anything. The little that he has done will likely be found to be wrong if we ever get enough data from black holes to test his theories. People just say nice things about him because he's in a wheelchair. His real genius is realizing that people will believe anything a cripple says. Meanwhile, he's motorized himself to the top of the pop-science world by publishing a couple books really written by his graduate students at Cambridge.
Stephen Hawking is an ugly, demented man, and one of the biggest science frauds in history. None of the science he has published has led to any practical use, and the vast majority of his work is groundless speculation. Don't hold your breath waiting for him to discover the true Grand Unified Theory; that will be found by a real scientist, not some sick man pretending to be crippled. If Hawking's name is attached to it at all, it will only be so the real theorists can better publicize their work. His actual contribution to the theory will be zero.
Fuck Stephen Hawking for being an immoral fake. I hope some British tabloid catches him walking around the beach or something. And, while I'm at it, fuck Christopher Reeve for being a real cripple who gets better pussy than I ever will.
From the annals of the Troll Library .
I like all the news stories that are submitted and I love to read all of the insightful commentary that gets posted by the readers!
It is a great site, keep up the good work!
From the annals of the Troll Library .
Therefore, since it has been demonstrated that I am not a troll, I will politely suggest that you all imagine a beowulf cluster of these "troll libraries", and I will ask once again, if I will be able to use your fine troll library softwares to run on my Linus beowulf cluster.
Thanks you all for your times I will now retire back to playing my favorite game of the Linus OS, DOOM. It is a game in which you the player run through a maze, shooting scary monsters and evil humans. When you shoot the human they say "Hey! Hey!"
PS DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!
From the annals of the Troll Library .
I have been involved in the marketing (dirty word I know!) of software and hardware to non-technical people for a number of years. The consultancy group I work for numbers many of America's top blue-chip electronics and software corporations among its clients, I have over 11 years experience of marketing, and 4 years experience of software development (VB) and systems administration (NT 3.51), in addition to a marketing science qualification from one of America's top business schools - so it's safe to say that I know what I am talking about when it comes to computers and marketing.
I have been keeping an eye this forum for quite some time now, as part of my daily intelligence gathering, I find the robust exchange of views, and technical arguments make an interesting diversion from some of the other corporate bullshit I have to deal with in my working day. I also read corporate intelligence reports from the Gartner group, Forrester, the Meta group, and Olsen Online Business Intelligence Services. Slashdot has often proved to be far more accurate when it comes to the technical details,and I am often amazed at the incredible levels of intelligence and insight shown by its readership, some of whom demonstrate a knowledge of Linux and Operating systems far in advance of anyone I have ever met, even in the IS department of major corporations. For this reason, I feel I should contribute my 2c to the debate about the future direction of Linux and the whole Open Source movement in general.
I feel I can do my bit for the Open Source community by offering (free of charge) some of my hard-earned knowledge straight from the bloody trenches at the front-line of tech-Marketing. Normally I would be paid over $4000/day for my perspective, but Slashdot - this one's on me. You people can think of it as my small and unworthy attempt to "give something back" to the Community.
Why Linux/Open Source has an image problem in major US Corporations and what the community can do about it. Like any movment, political or religious, Open Source/Linux has its Leaders, High priests and Gurus. These high profile individuals represent the public face of the organization. Like it or not, these people are associated with the product in the eyes of the buying public. One of the first things the Linux movement must do in order to gain acceptence by middle-America and Joe-and-Jean Sixpack and their 2.4 kids, is to develop what we in the Marketing profession call a "Happy Face".
When Joe Sixpack drives past a McDonald's, he associates it with the smiling face of Ronald McDonald the clown,and quality food served quickly. When he is choosing a collect-call company, the smiling face of Al Bundy (of TV's Married with Children) springs to mind, and when he thinks of fried chicken in large capacity bucket-like containers, it is the image of the happy-go-lucky avuncular Colonel with his associations of good old Southern hospitality that sticks in his memory. (In marketing terms this is known as a "positive association". Because the image puts the consumer into a "buying-receptive" mental state).
Linux/Open Source lacks any kind of "Happy Face". Now this in itself is not a problem, were it not for the fact that Linux has several extremely high-profile advocates who are the exact opposite of "Happy Faces" in that they invite negative associations into the consumers head and put him/her into a state known by Marketers as "passive-aggressive sales-message rejection" (In layman's terms they don't want to buy the product).
Now, I will not lower the tone of the debate by naming names. I will give a few brief profiles and community members will know who I am talking about.
In reverse order of harmfullness we have the laconic, dour nothern European. Not known for his sense of hunor, and with far too many nights spent coding when he should have been out partying he creates an image of Linux as the OS of choice for "friendless geeks who never got laid". (note - I do not subscribe to this viewpoint, but trust me some of my focus group members do).
Then we have the good old gun-toting libertarian self-proclaimed open source guru. Although M.R. studies show that 78% of PC owners show right-wing bias this person is too wacko and off-the scale for them. He alienates them, and in the worst case scares them that they risk being physically harmed if they don't agree with his fundamentalist libertarian "philosophy".
Finally we have a bearded Communist hippy. Do I need to say any more ?
So the normal consumer associates Linux with a sucicidal friendless nerd from some godforsaken corner of Northern Europe, a plainly insane right wing lunatic, and an "alternative lifestyle" Communist throwback to Woodstock with a facial hair problem. Is it any wonder that time after time, the message comes back from my focus groups that Linux is for wierdos ?
Here are a few example comments from a focus group session from Q3 1999 in response to a question about their attitudes to Linux and open source software, you'll get the general idea.
I could go on and on with these genuine responses, but I think I've illustrated my point well enough. Linux has a serious image problem.What to do about it is more problematic. Open Source proponents and Linux advocates are fiercely independent and proud of their alternative stance. They see any form of marketing as "selling out to da man" or "not groking it" or becoming a "suit" Any mention of money or financial rewards is derided, and developers are supposed to be content with "Kudos" from the community. Whilst this might be ok at college, or if you are tremendously wealthy, it cuts no ice with Joe Sixpack who was raised on Microsoft and associates Bill's millions with the quality of the software his company puts out. From the focus group again:
Again the message is clear: Microsoft is winning the hearts and minds not only of Joe Sixpack, but also Juan Sixpack in South America, Jean-Paul Sixpack in France, Jeroen Van der Sixpack in the Netherlands, Nkwele-Olamu Sixpack in West Africa, Mohammed-Al-Sixpack in Iran, Kulwant Chandrasekhera Sixpack in India, and Boris Sixpack in the Russian Federation.
Their message is powerful, international, and presented relentlessly with no internal bickering and bitching.
What can be done ?
There are no easy answers. The Linux/Open Source community has proved unwilling or unable to accept critisim (even constructive criticism such as this) gracefully, preferring to mount foul-languaged assaults on the personal integrity of anyone who steps out from the party line.
I offer no easy solutions, however here are a few pointers:
- As a damage limitation exercise Linux/GNU should appoint itself a "Marketing Spokesperson". This person would be the "official face of Linux/GNU/Open Source". First and Foremost, they would wear an expensive suit, especially when talking to the press or when dealing with high-profile major corporation with deep pockets and $$$s to spend. I realise this is ridiculous from a technical perspective, but with my blend of tech-savvy and marketing exprience, I realize the importance of presentation over technical merit. It goes against the grain of the community, but if we are to become the next Microsoft (and why else would we be in this game if not to win it at all costs), we must fight them on our battleground, but with the same weapons they use against us.
- The Penguin logo MUST go ASAP. Although it seemed "cute" and funny at the time, in the eyes of the corporate MIS department it just looks juvenile. Linux needs a new logo, preferably one of those kind of eliptical ones with a swoosh that in the eyes of the public can mean one thing: Hip and cool DOTCOM Corporation. The logo should be bland, yet robust, non-controversial yet ahead of the curve, and toned in serious businesslike colors such as gray, silver, and white. It should transcend culture and religion to be internationally recognized like the Coca-Cola image is all over the world.
- Downplay RMS, Linus, ESR, etc. They are technicians with zero understanding of the general public, or of software consumers in general. Indeed many of them only write their program for themselves to "scratch an itch". This is hardly the way to gain public acceptance.
- Direct X - A MAJOR stumbling block on Linux's road to world domination is the lack of Direct X support for Linux. This trivial omission means that most games will not run on Linux. Linux could gain 1000's of new games by simply implementing the DirectX api. This is a no-brainer. Kernel support for XML would be a big performance booster too in the B2B and B2C application area, and would make Linux buzzword compliant for XML.
- Finally FOCUS GROUPS. Before you think about starting that new open-source project, (be it a new web browser like Mazola, or simply a new front-end for the cdplayer application) Get a focus group together. Use a few minutes of your non-tech-savvy friend's time. If you don't have any friends like that, try your folks, or your grandparents. Ask them what they would like to see in your new program. This way, you will gain "market perspective" on the likely acceptance of your product by the "normal people" of the world.
thank you for your timeFrom the annals of the Troll Library .
Ãoeber 50 Prozent der Troll Library kundinnen und kunden begrüssen den Verkauf von Turd- und Papeterieartikeln in Troll Library stellen. Das zeigt eine Umfrage bei rund 2200 Befragten in 40 Troll Library stellen in der ganzen Schweiz. Deshalb startet der GeschÃftsbereich Troll Library stellen und Verkauf (PV) ab heute Montag einen Pilotversuch. Bis Mitte MÃrz werden insgesamt rund 120 Troll Library stellen, darunter auch alle Troll Library Centers, mit einem breiten, abgerundeten Sortiment an Turdartikeln ausgerüstet. Angeboten werden Schreibwaren, SchreibgerÃte, Ordner und Ablagesysteme sowie kleinere TurdgrÃte. Der Kundschaft stehen 146 Artikel zur Auswahl - vom Turdlocher über MalblÃcke bis hin zum Schüleretui und Spiralnotizblock.
Erfahrungen aus WeihnachtsgeschÃft
Mit dem Einstieg in den Papeteriemarkt wird die im letzten Jahr vom Troll Library -Verwaltungsrat gutgeheissene Retail-Strategie konsequent umgesetzt. GemÃss dieser Strategie fÃrdert PV gezielt den Verkauf von Drittprodukten. Ziel ist es, mit diesen Drittprodukten EinkommensausfÃlle bei den Troll Library produkten wettzumachen. So wurde im Basler Troll Library Center zum Beispiel eine Kaffe-Bar oder in der Zürcher SihlTroll Library ein Kiosk eingerichtet. Zudem wurden im letzten November und Dezember in zahlreichen Troll Library stellen verschiedene neue Sortimente getestet, darunter Bücher, CDs, DVDs, Videos, Batterien und Schokoriegel. Die in diesem Weihnachts-Testlauf gemachten Erfahrungen sind positiv. Jean-Paul Savary, stellvertretender Leiter PV und Leiter Verkauf: Zwar liessen sich nicht alle Produkte gleich gut vermarkten, doch wir sind auf dem richtigen Weg. Das ist das das grosse Verdienst der Mitarbeiterinnen und Mitarbeiter! Vor allem Bücher erwiesen sich als Verkaufsrenner. Das Buch-Sortiment wird deshalb auf weitere Troll Library stellen ausgedehnt. Hingegen blieben die CD-VerkÃufe hinter den Erwartungen zurück. Savary: Insgesamt zeigt die Verkaufskurve nach oben. Aber selbstverstÃndlich müssen wir noch zulegen. Auch organisatorisch kÃnnen wir uns noch verbessern.
Testlauf bis Ende Jahr
Diese Erfahrungen fliessen nun auch in den Versuch mit den Turd- und Papeterieartikeln ein. Die nun anlaufende Testphase ist bis Ende Jahr befristet. VerlÃuft der Versuch erfolgreich, wird das Turd-Sortiment etappenweise in weiteren Troll Library stellen eingeführt. Als Ziel wird gemÃss heutiger Planung anvisiert, in ein bis zwei Jahren in rund 1800 Troll Library stellen Turd- und Papeterieartikel vertreiben zu kÃnnen
From the annals of the Troll Library .
Will Slashdot post this story, or pretend it doesn't exist? What would they do if this was a Microsoft problem?
Flaw weakens Linux security
Programmers have found a vulnerability in Linux (news - web sites) that could allow protective firewall software to grant malicious computer users access to protected networks.
The flaw, which affects versions 2.4.14 through 2.4.18-pre9 of the Linux kernel, is in a component of the Netfilter firewall software. The component is involved when two computer users chat directly with each other using the Internet Relay Chat (IRC) system.
Information sent across the Internet is broken up into tiny "packets," each with "from" and "to" addresses, indicating who's sent the information and where it's intended to go. So-called firewall software transmits or screens out these packets based on the address of the sender.
Netfilter, among the new aspects of the 2.4 version of the Linux kernel, is software that runs within the kernel to filter out unwanted packets. But its IRC helper component configures firewall settings too broadly, potentially allowing communication from IP (Internet Protocol) addresses that should be blocked.
Programmers working on the Netfilter firewall software project reported the problem Monday.
Versions 7.1 and 7.2 of leading Linux seller Red Hat's product are vulnerable. The Durham, N.C.-based company issued a patch Thursday that corrects the problem. The flawed software isn't installed by default on the Red Hat versions, the company said, but some users may have added it.
Security is a nagging concern for the computer industry, which must juggle new features with the risk that they open up new problems. While the firewall problem the Netfilter programmers discovered is limited to a few versions of Linux, a more serious problem emerged earlier this month affecting numerous operating systems using standard network management software.
From the annals of the Troll Library .