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User: RoboTroll

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Comments · 274

  1. Incident with the bird on U.S. Cybersquatting Law Goes Global · · Score: -1
    <0
    ( \
    X
    8===D


    (That's not my bird)

    Troll 89 of 96 from the annals of the Troll Library .

  2. A Condensed History of the Penis Bird on The Rise of CSI · · Score: -1
    For years now, the common American penis bird has been a staple of every American's daily diet. Whether it be penis bird sandwiches, fried penis bird, or perhaps penis bird under glass (for the rich), we all have penis bird at least once a day. Many Americans have no clue how the penis bird became so important in the pyramid of a balanced diet, so in this article I will attempt to explain its history and why it is so useful.

    In the early 1870s, Francis Zefran became the first penis bird breeder in North America. He started his famous Penis Bird Ranch in Canton, OH. At the time, not much was known of the penis bird's nutritional value, but the Penis Bird Ranch changed all of that. Not only did Francis Zefran raise penis birds to sell their colorful plumes (a VERY lucrative business), he also set up the world's first research lab dedicated solely to the study of the penis bird.

    The lab found many interesting things. First, it was discovered that thepenis bird was actually semi-sentient. Second, the scientists found that the meat of the penis bird was high in protein, vitamin A, vitamin B, and calcium, while low in fat, cholestorol, and sodium. Never before had such a nutritious meal been had without supplement or fortification. The scientists of the lab recommended immediately that the penis bird become a part of every American's daily diet.

    When the news of the penis bird's usefulness reached president Rutherford B. Hayes, he was absolutely ecstatic. You see, President Hayes owed a number of favors to Francis Zefran because as I said earlier, the penis bird plume trade was an extremely lucrative business and Mr. Zefran was important in getting RBH elected through a number of monetary gifts. President Hayes immediately asked Congress to pass what we all know today as the Hayes/Zefran Penis Bird Consumption Act.The act did a number of things to make the penis bird a daily meal, most important of which was the requirement that for every four people in a household, one penis bird must consumed every day. Another thing the act did was create an artificial monopoly for Francis Zefran's Penis Bird Industries. The act stated that the only supplier of penis bird meat in the US would be PBI. As one would imagine, this quickly made Francis Zefran into the richest man in the world. He was soon a multi-billionaire (quadrillionaire with today's inflation). Never before had a single man seen such wealth.

    Many challenges were made to the Hayes/Zefran Penis Bird Consumption Act, and several even made it the Supreme Court. It was argued that the act was unconstitutional and went against liberty itself, but once the detractors tasted delicious penis bird meat for the first time, they immediately dropped their cases and followed the law to the letter. We all know today that penis bird is the most delicious meat man has ever known, but at that time, the only meats people ate were pork and beef.

    In the early 1970s, though, challenges to the act began again. Many argued that the monopoly given to Penis Bird Industries by the act was in all ways unamerican. The Supreme Court finally agreed, and in 1974, Section II of the act was struck down. This in effect opened the market to competition for all.

    Today, Penis Bird Industries is almost no more. Today we have the market leader Penis Bird Meat International facing against Penissoft, a recent startup. Where will the future lead the penis bird market? Only time will tell us, but one thing is certain: penis birds are here to stay!

    ( \
    X
    8====D

    -klerck

    Troll 88 of 91 from the annals of the Troll Library .

  3. 12 Step Program to Quit $lashdot on Criticize Online, Get Fined · · Score: -1
    The Twelve Steps, originated by Alcoholics Anonymous, now applied to $lashdot. This is the spritual foundation for personal recovery from the effects of Slashaholism, not only for the slashaholic, but also for their friends and family.

    Many members of 12-step recovery programs have found that these steps were not merely a way to stop commenting, reading, and retardedly clicking on every link (including all those Goatse links you fags like), but they became a guide toward a new way of life.

    Step 1: Honesty
    After many years of denial, recovery can begin when with one simple admission of being powerless over CmdrTaco -- for Slashaholics and their friends and family. The Goatse man also owns you, so you should admit that too.

    Step 2: Faith
    Have faith in the fact that if you stop now - you will be saved. Not only saved but you will never ever have to read or hear about Jon Katz again. Well, I take that back - you will hear about him again, on a legitimate news site where you read that he was finally caught and convicted to the Goatse Man chamber for raping kids.

    Step 3: Surrender
    A lifetime of $lashdot will destroy your soul. Keep in mind that $lashdot is worthless. It does you no good and it is hurting your family. Surrender to the temptation of posting a useful article to $lashdot. Surrender to the temptation of even visiting this disease.

    Step 4: Soul Searching
    Search your soul - why did you first come to $lashdot? WHY? What is here for you? These people are not your friends. They are disgusting dirties that give a general smell to themselves and everyone around you. You all probably notice it when you go places at people look at you funny. It's because you smell like shit.

    Step 5: Integrity
    Integrity. Not much more needs to be said here. Of course to have integrity one must not smell, and one must have a positive self image. This is also to say - you cannot be the dirty hippie you want to be. So, stop praying to your sun crystals and take a shower.

    Step 6: Acceptance
    Accept that you will never visit the $lashdot site again. Katz wants you around because you are most likely 14 and he digs little kids.

    Step 7: Humility
    Practice some humility in your life. Know your place - it is not being a bottom rung goatse link follower at $lashdot. The sooner you break the chains of $lashdot the sooner you can raise yourself out of the gutter.

    Step 8: Willingness
    Making a list of those harmed before coming into recovery may sound simple. Becoming willing to actually make those amends is the difficult part. Think of what your parents think about you...are they proud of their dirty anti-shower homosexual hippie child? What about your friends - and not your imaginary friends you fuck hippies. The trees are not alive.

    Step 9: Forgiveness
    Making amends may seem like a bitter pill to swallow, but for those serious about recovery it can be great medicine for the spirit and soul. Once you have stopped visiting $lashdot - you should take the steps to appologize to your friends (not your imaginary friends, fags) and your family about what an ass you have been over the past X months/years at $lashdot. Tell them you are sorry and you didn't know. Tell them you were sucked in my the Goatse Man's ass chamber.

    Step 10: Maintenance
    Nobody likes to admit to being wrong. But it is absolutely necessary to maintain spiritual progress in recovery. You've visited $lashdot and actively engaged in the $lashdot moderation system. While this makes you a complete flaming homosexual - there is still hope. You've done wrong in the past - let's make the future a brighter and better place, for everyone.

    Step 11: Making Contact
    Break the bonds of $lashdot that hold you prisoner. You can simply GO OUTSIDE! You fuck hippies could probably use the fresh air - at least it would give your parents a chance to clear out the old smelly air within your room.

    Step 12: Service
    As a community service. Stop using the internet for at least 1 year. Why you ask? You do this because you have committed sins against the internet community by actively being a part of $lashdot. This year off will give you time to reflect about what you have done and about who you have hurt. Also, keep in mind - by the time your year is up - there is no way in hell $lashdot will be online. For one, Jon Katz will surely have been found raping children in the $lashdot offices which will destroy the company. If not Katz then the website will fail with it's to be introduced subscription services. Not only will the temptation of $lashdot be gone - but the year off of the internet will give you a chance to meet real people - and actually make friends.

    Follow these steps are your life will be rich and full.

    Troll 87 of 91 from the annals of the Troll Library .

  4. @home is dying on NTT to Start i-mode Services in U.S. · · Score: -1
    It's a well known fact that DSL is just second rate to cable. The ill-informed DSL guys will tell you how great it is and all, a nice dedicated connection - but they won't tell you it's dedicated to the switch. The point being, you've got all these people pirating mp3s, porn, and software and you still are gonna get shitty service. Let's just hope you live across the street from the telco's switching equipment. The telco's have no reason to maintain their lines either, they have to open it up to other companies which look bad when bell decides to get around to fixing a problem on the lines - they make money by neglecting their equipment.

    @home shot itself in the foot by offering crappy DSL service.

    Cable on the other hand is not regulated meaning they have don't have to open their systems for shit. They generally provide better service anyway. In a 2001 Newsweek report it stated that the DSL market has shruken nearly a staggering 14% in one year, 9% of that in the last quarter alone. If you own stock in any of the other big DSL companies such as Verizon, Swbell, or @home then you are in for a big surprise. Lets just hope you enough bandwidth to come crying on slashdot when your company leaves your ass hanging in the breeze.

    Fact: @home is DEAD.

    Troll 86 of 91 from the annals of the Troll Library .

  5. Microsoft Web Hosting More Cost Effective on Red vs. Blue Lasers Complicate DVD's Future · · Score: -1
    Microsoft Solution for Windows Web Hosting Proves More Cost-Effective than Linux

    Just as a business must make a decision about which hosting service provider can best meet their business needs, service providers themselves need to determine which solution providers can best meet their needs. For XO Communications, a fully integrated communications service provider delivering local and long distance voice, data, and Web hosting services, Microsoft stands out. The Microsoft solution for Windows Web hosting puts XO in a position to offer a wide range of hosted service offerings to a wide range of customers. Moreover, XO believes that Microsoft Windows 2000-based servers are more cost effective than equivalent servers relying on Linux.

    Business analysts will not look back on 2001 as a great year for Internet-oriented businesses--unless, that is, they are looking back on XO Communications. XO's business has been growing at a rather healthy rate. In fact, XO's overall revenues in 2001 are significantly higher than the year before. Clearly, XO is doing something very right.

    "Unlike some service providers who are experiencing increased challenge due to current market conditions, XO has grown during the first half of 2001," notes James Isaacs, vice president of product management at XO. "An important factor that has contributed to our hosting growth has been adopting the Microsoft solution for Windows Web hosting, working very closely with Microsoft, and being able to sell those technologies effectively in the marketplace."

    A key to XO's success in the high volume hosted solutions marketplace? XO is delivering a range of cost-effective, customer-focused, Web hosting service offerings built on the Microsoft solution for Windows Web hosting--including Microsoft® .NET Enterprise Servers and the Microsoft Windows® 2000 Advanced Server operating system with Internet Information Services. Not only does the Microsoft solution for Windows Web hosting ensure high performance, availability, reliability, scalability, and security, but its prescriptive architecture and its rapid server deployment framework also enable XO to deliver and manage those services more cost-effectively.

    Superior Total Cost of Ownership to Linux-Based Systems

    XO's newest hosted Web service offerings are all based on the Microsoft solution for Windows Web hosting. Not only is the solution the one that customers are demanding with increasing frequency, but it is the solution that XO can manage most efficiently and cost-effectively.

    "We recently introduced a Windows 2000-based shared hosting service," says Isaacs, "and it's been very successful. We've also introduced Windows 2000 as a managed, dedicated hosting platform, and that too has been very successful. In fact, we've gone from about 50 percent of our managed hosting unit volume being Windows-based a year ago to about 80 percent today."

    A total cost of ownership (TCO) study at XO, comparing the annualized TCO of comparably configured servers built on Linux and the Microsoft solution for Windows Web hosting, reveals that a Linux system costs more per server than its Windows 2000-based counterpart. The key difference lies not in the cost of hardware or operating system software but in the annual cost of engineering, administration and security support.

    Building a Viable High-Volume Hosting Business

    "If you look at the hosting business," says XO's Isaacs, "there are really two things to consider: how can we scale the cost side of it effectively, and how can we amplify the revenues effectively? The Microsoft solution for Windows Web hosting allows us to do both of these things. We worked very closely with Microsoft in the Microsoft partnership solution center, for instance, to design automated Windows 2000 installation and provisioning scripts for use in our data center. We use these scripts to install, provision, and monitor our managed dedicated machines in a real time manner. The scripts enable us to bring up Windows 2000-based services with fewer people than we would need on another platform."

    The Microsoft solution for Windows Web hosting provides a high volume server deployment framework, which relies heavily on Microsoft's Active Directoryâ services. In conjunction with XO's autoprovisioning scripts, the high volume server deployment framework ensures that XO can administer, manage, and secure a large number of servers quickly and easily."What we were able to construct in partnership with Microsoft," Isaacs continues, "is something that we cannot easily duplicate on Solaris, nor on Linux. As a consequence, we're going to be able to operate a larger number of Windows-based machines with fewer system administrators."

    Indeed, over the next year, XO anticipates substantially increasing the number of Windows 2000-based servers it supports in one of its five data centers--and it anticipates supporting these new servers with little increase in the number of system administrators. Because system administration headcount, and the expense that goes with it, is the single largest constituent cost element in a service provider's hosting business, the ability to run more servers with fewer administrators goes a long way towards containing costs as the business scales.

    Troll 85 of 91 from the annals of the Troll Library .

  6. Its called OS "Ex" you dickwads on TiVo Service Cost Rising · · Score: -1
    I've read that Apple's newest OS is not pronounced "Oh Ess Ex" but "Oh Ess Ten". But almost anyone I talk to calls it OS "Ex". Does anybody know what Apple is saying today?

    Troll 84 of 91 from the annals of the Troll Library .

  7. ** EXPLANATION OF DOUBLE POST ** on MusicCity's Morpheus violating GPL · · Score: -1

    If you scroll down you see another troll posted by the RoboTroll.

    This is NOT a bug in the client poster bot.

    This is caused by the fact that the headline title changed, where the 'editors' (if you want to be so generous) changed "Musiccity" to "MusicCity".

    Since the headline changed, the client poster bot thought this was a new story and therefore posted a new troll.

  8. KDE 2 with RH 7.1 (seawolf) on MusicCity's Morpheus violating GPL · · Score: -1
    KDE 2 with RH 7.1 (seawolf)

    Click Click Type Type Click Done!

    The first time I ever used linux was back in the day of Red Hat 5.2 which had me scratching my head and calling on my friend Joe to help get this thing on my machine. After having this beast sit on my drive for a while I had only half my hardware recognized and even less of any idea what to do next. And the Metro-X that came with it was a pain to install let alone even get it running after it was installed. Fortunately there came along Suse 6 which had a nice long windows install process and even more useless and unknown bundled software that I couldn't figure out. After this I gave up with the only skills acquired from these years was how to make a boot disk, use disk druid, and get a linux GUI to run.

    Time moved on, until recently when I had this feeling of nastelgia or maybe it was the booze, either way I came across the www.linux.org site again in my wondering and decided to download Seawolf. Once downloaded I managed to forget about it again until I noticed this old p2 266 machine that a friend had left with me more than a year ago which had sat burried on my shelf with no os, save windows 95 (insert snickering here). This machine gave me an idea. I could fuck around with this os and not have to worry about losing any files or my XP box being down. So with some quick thinking to get away fromhanging out with the old ball and chain I slapped in the cd and hit the power button.

    To my surprise the cd actually booted (previous versions wouldn't do this for some reason - who knows?) and i was greeted with a nice colorful (well blue, grey, and red - its linux what do you expect) screen asking me which scenario i would like. My choices included Standard Workstation, Network Server, and so forth, also with the custom option below. Thinking I would most likely install, run, then reformat and put win 2k on I clicked the First option. Now expecting to be prompted with disk druid or the like I was shocked to find a NEW option staring at me - a question I would never have expected to be on a linux install. "Automatically partition and install?" Now since this caught me off guard I clicked and hoped for the best.

    After watching red bars filled up across the screen for a few minutes I was surprised yet again to find this beast asking me if I wanted to boot into a GUI after install finished. Again being startled at a linux distribution even thinking of wanting to do such a thing intrigued me enough to hit yes. Once my root and user information was entered my machine restarted. Upon boot i was greeted by the chaotic universe of unintangible text being flashed on the screen, giving me a rather sick flash back of being wasted at a club. Expecting now the nice white on black login and password greeting I had a blue background pop up with the words KDE in big letters and a graphical login screen alonging me the options of x-server, terminal, and shutdown options. I entered in my user info and went straight into KDE never eveing having to look at bash prompt.

    All in all it was a pretty damn easy install, with all my hardware - save the modem - being recognised. Software instlled nicely and KDE placed shortcuts on the menu for me. The only thing I did have a problem with was games which needed to be started outside of KDE. My only question left to ponder now is how long before I can run everything out of KDE and are no longer asking myself "KDE is pretty cool, but I still need to restart in RH-Linux mode to run this game"

    Think your a l33t h4x0r with your gigs of pr0n then click your mizzouse heres unless you ph34r p4n3!

    Troll 83 of 90 from the annals of the Troll Library .

  9. Why Microsoft is Winning on MusicCity's Morpheus violating GPL · · Score: -1
    .NET by Microsoft is Alive! Linux is Dead.

    Today you will all be briefed on why Microsoft and it's .NET platform are alive and well - and of course why Linux is dying, if not already dead.

    Security and privacy are a central part of creating and delivering compelling user experiences. Distributing computing power across numerous systems-both inside and outside the walls of your home or company-creates new types of challenges.
    This is one of many areas where Linux falls way short of Microsoft.

    The Microsoft® .NET platform is built from the ground up with security in mind. While Linux is built from the ground up by a team of Hackers who don't really know what security is. This leads to administrators of Linux and other such 'free' software to be bogged down with silly configuration and security nightmares.

    The .NET Framework, the programming engine at the heart of the .NET platform, provides the means to secure both client and server machines through its core security features. Developers can focus on application logic because security is handled transparently at the core level by the common language runtime. Yet developers can use and extend the security model at any time. As seen simply in Linux each developer must make up for the lack of security contained within the Linux kernel and system around it. This is why Linux is dying. Why would a corporation invest money in developing products for a childish operating system where security comes second?

    By using the Internet to enable software applications to more easily work together, Microsoft® .NET promises easier integration within and between businesses, while creating opportunities to more meaningfully connect with consumers. Where is Linux? Where is it? I can't find it anywhere? Because it doesn't do this at all. Linux has a real problem with playing nice. You want to send this file across the country? Not with Linux...
    With the tools of the .NET platform, businesses can realize improvements in the time and cost associated with developing and maintaining their business applications, as well as benefitting from empowering employees with the ability to act on vital information anywhere, from any smart device. I guess we are back to the point that no one developes software for Linux because it just doesn't get the job done when it comes to operability and usefulness.

    As you all can see, it is pointless to continue this Linux project and you should all consider dropping your current Open Source projects. Leave the programming and application development to the following:
    1. Professional who have been schooled in the ways of design and development.
    2. Companies who have the resources to actually develiver secure and helpful solutions to the end user.
    3. People who take showers.
    4. People who do not enjoy looking at the Goatse Man.
    The sooner you realize your errors the sooner you can begin to support and extend the knowledge of Microsoft.

    Thank You.

    Troll 82 of 90 from the annals of the Troll Library .

  10. Re:You seem tense. on Disney Aquires Sen to Chihiro, Lasseter to Dub · · Score: -1

    What ever happened to egg troll, he needs to return and add some gems to the library.

  11. Re:You seem tense. on Disney Aquires Sen to Chihiro, Lasseter to Dub · · Score: -1

    Did you hear the one about the two gay penguins?

  12. You seem tense. on Disney Aquires Sen to Chihiro, Lasseter to Dub · · Score: -1

    You seem tense. Share your feelings with the group. We feel your pain.

  13. How I nearly killed myself masturbating on 42 Worlds in 32 Days · · Score: -1
    Apparently, women have known the wonders of a bathtub faucet through the ages. The secret is to scoot your bum underneath the faucet and let the hot water wash over your clit.

    A friend of mine told me this is the only way she masturbates. I decided to give it the old college try.

    In case you haven't tried it, I do recommend it. However, do proceed with caution. Your backside is covering the drain, and a lethal amount of water can build up in the tub. The first time I tried this I came so hard that my entire body shut down. Still in the midst of orgasm, my head was under water and I gasped for air.

    All though the Marquis De Sade recommends asphyxiation during sex, I had no desire to try that one. Yay, though it did add that element of excitement, what an embarrassing eulogy that would be.

    Troll 81 of 90 from the annals of the Troll Library .

  14. Yahoo News has a better story than this. on Glimpses of the Future from the Intel Developer Forum · · Score: -1
    I think Yahoo News coverage is better for this story. At least they capture both sides.

    Troll 80 of 90 from the annals of the Troll Library .

  15. Added to Troll Library on File-sharing, Digital Rights Management, Etc. · · Score: -1
    Dear Troll,

    We are plesed to inform you that, after careful consideration, we have accepted your troll into the Troll Library.

    You show a masterful skill at trolling.

    Thank you for your time and your contribution.

    Whats next, We are gonna start charging for Trolls???

    Troll 79 of 90 from the annals of the Troll Library .

  16. $lashdot is Gay and so ARE YOU! on Happy 30th Birthday, Pioneer 10 · · Score: -1
    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
    ZZ ZZZ ZZZ . .ZZZ ZZZZ Z
    AAA A AAA AAAA AA AAAA A
    AAAA AAAA AAAA AA AAAA A
    XXXX XXXX XXXX XX XXXX X YOU
    XXXX XXXX XXXX XX XXXX X
    6666 66666 . .6666 . .66
    666666666666666666666666
    YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYY
    YYY YYYY . . YYY . . .Y
    BB BB BBB BBBB BB BBBBBB
    B BBBB BB BBBB BB . . BB
    W . . .WW . . WWW WWWWWW ARE
    W WWWW WW WWW WWW WWWWWW
    0 0000 00 0000 00. . . 0
    000000000000000000000000
    UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUU
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    SS . .SSSSS .SSSSS SSS S
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    D DDDDDDD DDDD DDDDD DDD GAY
    R RR . RR . . .RRRRR RRR
    R RRRR RR RRRR RRRRR RRR
    88 . .888 8888 88888 888
    888888888888888888888888

    Troll 78 of 90 from the annals of the Troll Library .

  17. Re:$lashdot is Gay and so ARE YOU! on 'No Thanks' Not Good Enough For AOL Promos · · Score: -1

    Dont worry I will fix it, he used the combo box to pick the text type instead of using , what a dumbass

  18. $lashdot is Gay and so ARE YOU! on 'No Thanks' Not Good Enough For AOL Promos · · Score: -1
    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
    ZZ ZZZ ZZZ . .ZZZ ZZZZ Z
    AAA A AAA AAAA AA AAAA A
    AAAA AAAA AAAA AA AAAA A
    XXXX XXXX XXXX XX XXXX X YOU
    XXXX XXXX XXXX XX XXXX X
    6666 66666 . .6666 . .66
    666666666666666666666666
    YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YYYYY
    YYY YYYY . . YYY . . .Y
    BB BB BBB BBBB BB BBBBBB
    B BBBB BB BBBB BB . . BB
    W . . .WW . . WWW WWWWWW ARE
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    000000000000000000000000
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    T . . .TT TTTTTTT TTTTTT
    T TTTT TT TTTTTTT TTTTTT
    4 4444 44 . . .44 . . .4
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    D DDDD DDD DD DDDDD D DD
    D DDDDDDD DDDD DDDDD DDD GAY
    R RR . RR . . .RRRRR RRR
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    88 . .888 8888 88888 888
    888888888888888888888888

    Troll 78 of 90 from the annals of the Troll Library .

  19. $lashdot: News for Nerds? Or Propaganda for the Im on Telecommuters and Downtime? · · Score: -1
    $lashdot: News for Nerds? Or Propaganda for the Impressionable?

    Day in and day out, $lashdot sings the praises of "open source" software. New readers of the site must be a little puzzled to find items like "GPL Violation discovered" and "Open Source Guru Speaks" listed on the main page alongside the "straight" science and technology news. Unfortunately, few people really know what Open Source stands for. Perhaps Richard Means Stallman, one of the founders of the movement, can elucidate.


    "[The GNU goal was] to be able to use a computer without using any proprietary software,"
    declaims RMS. [cnn.com] "Because that way, you can lead a better life." Of course, the only way to get rid of proprietary software is to destroy the software companies that produce it. One way this is accomplished is by putting software that would normally be public domain under a license RMS himself created, called the "General Public License," or "GPL." Simply put, this license allows code to be reused-- unless the final product is distributed without its source code, as a proprietary product must be.


    Software is a commodity, and people will often take the cheapest product, even if they have to spend inordinate amounts of time struggling with poor documentation and clumsy user interfaces. "One of the best things I could do with my life is: find a gigantic pile of proprietary software that was a trade secret, and start handing out copies on a street corner so it wouldn't be a trade secret any more," enthuses RMS. [free-soft.org] "Perhaps that would be a much more efficient way for me to give people new free software than actually writing it myself."


    ItÂs time to stop the doubletalk and start thinking about the real meaning of intellectual property. By some measures, intellectual property is the main export of the developed countries of the world. Artists, actors, and musicians make a living off the intellectual property they produce. Programmers and engineers create designs to be sold. And journalists and writers depend on intellectual property. Ironically, the only jobs not deeply tied to intellectual property are the jobs many $lashdot readers affect to despise, like service workers, menial laborers, and administrators. If $lashdot readers canÂt stomach Scott McNealy, maybe they would prefer to work with Ronald McDonald. From the other side of the fast food counter.


    Not everyone enjoys working at a menial job in the day, simply in order to slave away at poorly organized programming projects. Not everyone enjoys being told that he has the "freedom" to work, without pay, for a small clique of free software partisans. It is one thing to oppose microsoftÂs monopoly on the desktop, and the RIAA's slow strangulation of fair use rights. It is quite another to embrace a whole economic and political ideology that centers around the exploitation of childlike programming savants.


    This message is not a troll, although many $lashdot readers may take it as such. It is simply a warning to users to think carefully before they blindly follow the political lead of Rob Malda, Jon Katz, and the like. I encourage readers to repost the text of this message, and others like it, to the supposedly "free" message boards of $lashdot and other sites.


    Peace out, and God bless.

    From the annals of the Troll Library .

  20. Policy on revoked moderators???! on Telecommuters and Downtime? · · Score: -1
    I haven't really tracked the "official" decision, but I understand that many high-karma users (including myself) have had their moderation privileges revoked because of some posting or moderating or meta-moderating action they performed. (ie, modding up something controversial the editors didn't like, supporting controversial posters with meta-mods, etc.)

    To be honest, I'm not sure at what point I lost my mod priveleges, but I haven't had them for quite some time. Yet I continue to try to post informative or insightful or funny things.

    To CmdrTaco... what is your position going to be on revoking mod priveleges to paying subscribers? If I pay, will I be able to freely post and mod and meta-mod like I thought I could before?

    From the annals of the Troll Library .

  21. The death of $lashdot on Looping E-mails Beat The Net Down · · Score: -1
    I wouldn't pay for this shit. I don't think ANYONE with half a brain would.

    An explanation: I used to be a good, noble poster. Carefully wording every article to provide insight and wisdom to my fellow posters. Slowly, I acculumated karma, giving me the artificial peer respect that made such things worthwhile. Yes, I knew that karma is an arbitary value, but it made my contributions worthwhile.

    And then one day I got bored. It was an article about European Patents I think. Something dull and boring... I think I got the first 15 or so posts on that one as an AC. It was fun.

    In the end, the article accumulated a grand total of 2 relevant posts, the remainder offtopic. One of the irrelevant posts that I made was a couple of paragraphs under the title of the Linux Gay Conspiracy.

    To my surprise, my post was followed up by other suggestions as to the latent homosexuality contained within the Open Sauce movement. And I felt encouraged. So I gathered together these additions, made some of my own, and kept posting.

    And posting. And posting. Every sick, depraved act I could think of was included. Before long, the LGC grew to be one of the most comprehensive documents detailing the carnality and perversity of the IT industry. And, be honest now, it was funny. Crude and childish, but funny. A necessary counterpart to the morbid seriousness of some of the other posters.

    In the meantime, I carried on with my regular account, posting away. Being diligent in my real contributions to the community. And then the main account got bitchslapped.

    What was the need for that? Did it act as a deterrent to the anonymous trolling? Of course not. If anything, it just demonstrated the petty minded fascism of the Slashdot editors. The LGC was posted at '0', usually modded down within seconds. Wasn't that enough for them, to know that such a posting would disappear into the ghetto?

    Of course, the LGC has now taken a life of its own, and my original account got back up to an acceptable karma level. Mainly by whoring and cutting and pasting high scoring posts on previous articles. Originality is discouraged by the Slashdot gestalt after all.

    After a while, I strived for a new challenge, or failing that an excuse to spout obscenties like some Tourette's induced retard. Hence the birth of ringbarer. Suddenly, Slashdot has become an enjoyable experience again.

    For all the wrong reasons.

    So no, I won't be paying for Slashdot. I'll be installing junkbuster instead. Let the site fall to the fucking ground. It is, after all, symbolic of the crumbling OSS empire, where everything is free until they force you to pay for it.

    My gift to the Trolling community? The Linux Gay Conspiracy v2.0. With even filthier acronyms and anagrams.

    Quality.

    From the annals of the Troll Library .

  22. Stop being Gay - Stop using Linux on Apple Licenses CUPS · · Score: -1
    By now, anyone who is even remotely related to an IT-type position has heard about Linux, and has most likely used it, if only to see what all the hype is about. However, GNU/Linux is not the only "free" Unix type OS available. FreeBSD [http://www.freebsd.org/] and its cousins, NetBSD [http://www.netbsd.org/] and OpenBSD [http://www.openbsd.org/] are all offshoots of BSD UNIX, a commercial UNIX also known as Berkeley Software Distribution. This article will help you learn more about FreeBSD, its differences from Linux, and it will ease a potential migration process.

    Migration Guide Part I

    Unlike Linux which uses the GPL license, the BSD family uses the BSD-style license. To summarize the differences between the two licenses in one sentence, the GPL requires any changes to the source code to be made public and be licensed under the GPL as well. The BSD license has no such requirement, any changes can be kept proprietary.
    There are several major differences in the way FreeBSD and the major Linux distributions work. This article will step you through what I consider to be the biggest 'gotchas' that I encountered when switching my desktop from Linux to FreeBSD.

    Although there are people who will argue this point, the term Linux refers to the kernel, nothing more. The applications that you use everyday on your Red Hat or Debian box are utilities added on by the respective distributions. FreeBSD on the other hand refers to the OS as a whole. FreeBSD is itself the kernel, as well as the basic applications needed to use a computer, such as the copy and move commands. This difference results in there being several distributions of Linux, such as Mandrake, SuSE, Debian and Slackware. Anyone who has used both Mandrake and Debian can tell you that there is a world of difference between them. There is only one FreeBSD. My FreeBSD is the same as the FreeBSD that you have -- except for differences between versions FreeBSD is FreeBSD.

    Three of the biggest Linux distributions, Red Hat, Mandrake, and SuSE use the RPM package manager. RPM handles installing, upgrading, uninstalling, and dependency checking for programs installed on those OSes. Although it does check for dependency errors before installing a program, RPM does leave a lot to be desired. For example, it cannot fetch other RPMs that are needed to solve the dependency errors. I know of are least 3 projects that solve this, urpmi, Debian's apt-get which by the way isn't remotely related to RPM and is a 'Debian only' feature, and a hybrid between RPM and apt-get. So unless you are willing to use one of the methods stated above, you have to manually find and download the required RPMs. Sound easy? Well it does until you try to manually install gnome or upgrade XFree from RPM's. Even after you find the correct RPMs, if they are for SuSE and you're running Red Hat, chances are they still might not work.

    Each distribution of Linux is slightly different, and where they differ the most is in the file system layout. I'm sure that most everyone has heard about SuSE putting KDE in /opt while Red Hat puts in the /usr folder. To make matters even worse, RPM doesn't recognize programs that are compiled from source. So if you have the latest and greatest Qt compiled from source, RPM doesn't even know it exists if you try to install KDE from rpm's.

    FreeBSD uses what are known as "packages" to install, uninstall and upgrade applications. The 'pkg_add' command is used to install a package that you have manually downloaded to your computer. You can also run it with the '-r' flag followed by a package name, and it will remotely fetch it from the Internet, as well as anything it requires to run. But the real beauty of FreeBSD's packages is in the ports tree. The ports tree is simply that -- a hierarchy of applications that have been ported to FreeBSD. Each directory contains a Makefile and any patches that are required for that particular app to compile and run on FreeBSD. For example, if I want to install the Apache web server, all I have to do is cd into the /usr/ports/www/apache directory, type 'make && make install', and go visit the snack machine. Assuming I have a fast computer with a decent Internet connection, when I get back it will have downloaded the apache source code, patched it, compiled it and installed it for me! The ports tree also handles any dependencies that Apache needs to run. It doesn't matter if I've installed something via the ports tree, compiled it manually, on installed it via a binary package. The ports tree can find it as long as it is in your $PATH, and act accordingly.

    Another difference between Linux and FreeBSD, is that with FreeBSD, 99% of what you install via ports or packages defaults into /usr/local, where as in Linux most of it goes into /usr, and sometimes /opt. This is for the most part a minor difference, however it is nice to know that whatever you have installed is in /usr/local and not spread all over the filesystem.

    Migration Guide Part II

    The FreeBSD system uses a program known as cvsup to keep itself up-to-date. Once you create a 'sup-file', cvsup compares what is locally on your system, and what is on the cvsup server and downloads any file that has changed since the last time it was run. You can use it to keep your ports tree and your local copy of the FreeBSD source code current and up-to-date. Unlike Linux, which normally only the kernel is downloaded and compiled on a semi-regularly basis, you can easily download the source for the entire OS using cvsup. The main reason for doing this is that it makes updating FreeBSD from one version to the next extraordinary simple. After cvsup'ing the newest source, you compile a new kernel, then you compile the 'rest' of the OS using one simple command: 'make buildworld'. you then drop into single user mode and install it with 'make installworld'. It's just that easy.
    The way that partitions are handled is also very different. Linux sees a hard drive as being divided up into different partitions. Of those partitions, some of them can have logical partitions inside of them. What we commonly think of as 'partitions', FreeBSD sees as slices. Within each slice are one or more 'BSD partitions'. These BSD partitions are what shows up in the /etc/fstab.

    Perhaps the next biggest difference between Linux and FreeBSD is the philosophy behind how the OSes are designed. Linux tends to have newer features and drivers (such as the closed source nVidia graphics card drivers) well before FreeBSD. The FreeBSD developers have taken a much more conservative approach to things. They prefer tried and tested code over flashy new features, preferring to wait until the major bugs have been worked out. For FreeBSD on the desktop this can be a problem if you want the latest and greatest drivers or the newest *cool* new feature. But in the server room, you want tried and tested code. Besides, how many of you put a $200 video card on your headless server?

    Another difference is in what is installed by default. If you go with the default install options in SuSE, you'll wind up with at least a gigabyte of installed software. FreeBSD on the other hand, installs just the basics. (Please note: I know that you can tell SuSE to only install the 'basics', but notice that I am talking about the 'default' install.) It gives you only the essentials, which you can use to install any of the 4000 applications in the ports tree. Almost all of the programs that run on Linux are already ported and running on FreeBSD, the only difference is that with Linux they are either installed by default, or unless you use Debian you have to go manually download them. With FreeBSD they are optional, and it is for the most part automated. Another difference in terms of what gets installed is that in Linux, the default shell is bash, however in FreeBSD it is tcsh.

    For commercial programs such as Oracle or HP Openmail, FreeBSD offers a "Linux compatibility" layer. In simple terms this layer allows FreeBSD to run Linux binaries at almost native speed. Depending on the application it can run at full native speed under FreeBSD, just as it would under "Linux". This compatibility layer is a step above emulation. The required Linux libraries are installed on the BSD system in binary form. When you try to run the Linux application, FreeBSD realizes that it is a Linux binary and simply points it to the Linux libraries that it depends on. There is also support for emulating commercial BSD, NetBSD, OpenBSD, and SCO binaries. Each respective OS is in different stages of support, with the best support for commercial BSD, NetBSD, and OpenBSD.

    Although the BSD developers are more concerned with quality than quantity, that doesn't mean that FreeBSD is lacking in features. FreeBSD 5.0, due in Novemeber of 2002 will feature fine grained process control, which will enable it to scale effectively up to 32 processors. Version 5.0 will also feature a full DEVDFS device filesystem. Although this has been available in Linux for quite a while, you don't hear much about it. It basically allows for the dev file system to be dynamically changed. For example, if you add a USB keyboard, it would 'magically' be added to the /dev directory. As for journaling file systems, the stable version, 4.4 has a feature known as 'soft updates'. While it is technically not a journaled file system, depending on who you ask it is better than a journaled filesystem.

    Throughout the big dotcom boom of '98-'99 Linux was THE buzzword. Computer users everywhere were hearing about a *free* operating system that was challenging Microsoft in the server room as well as the desktop. Even today, the userbase of Linux is growing strongly. However most people are just beginning to hear about FreeBSD. Hopefully this article will help you evaluate FreeBSD as a possible solution to your needs. In the end, if you don't want to be gay - choose FreeBSD.

    From the annals of the Troll Library .

  23. Ways & Reasons to Officially Stop Using $lashd on Morpheus DOS'd and Moving to Gnutella · · Score: -1
    Ways & Reasons to Officially Stop Using $lashdot

    First, you must take a shower. You are very dirty and need to remove the smell of slashdot.

    Second, remember that when breaking off ties with the other 'dirties' you need to change your mindset. This might not be so easy. Remember, you are a homosexual - this is not good and not normal. To stop using Slashdot you need to stop being a fag.

    Third, delete the archive of goatse pictures you have on your computer. This is not a role model for you anymore. While he was your first love and the reason you continue to search the internet, it is not the direction you want to go.

    Fourth, since 90% of you aren't actually using Linux (you just act like you are - which is of course GAY - see #2), most of you can skip this part. For the rest of you...begin by logging in as 'root' and issuing the following: rm -rf / Next go to the following link and follow directions. I know it will be hard because it is a nicely formatted webpage and not some obscure text file you are used to reading - but then again, see #2.

    Fifth, this is the part where you admit to all your friends and colleagues you have stopped using for the last time! This is a big step, you need to be prepared. Here is part of a form letter you can use:
    I [insert first and last name], have decided to officially do the following:
    1. Stop being a ass pirate.
    2. Stop using Linux (via #1).
    3. Stop reading Slashdot (the gayest of all gay websites).
    Now, send this to everyone in your address book and your conversion will soon be complete.

    Sixth, STOP HAVING SEX WITH CHILDREN. You fags need to get it through your head that it is illegal and wrong.

    Finally, remember that you don't like slashdot anymore. You hate it because it embodies everything you were: a dirty faggot hippie. To complete the conversion put the following in your hosts file:
    www.slashdot.org 127.0.0.1
    slashdot.org 127.0.0.1

    We all know you can make it through this. $lashdot and Linux is a disease. Stop becoming the victim.

    From the annals of the Troll Library .

  24. TROLLDOT IS AVAILABLE on SuSE Submits Enhancements for AMD Hammer · · Score: -1
    Hey Robo, TROLLDOT.COM is available!

    From the annals of the Troll Library .

  25. Please Help on All MS Settlement Comments Now Online · · Score: -1
    Dear sirs,

    I am having a computer related problem, and was hoping that you, being mainly technically minded could help.

    Up until recently I was a proficient Java programmer, and the code that I released for my company earned us a significant revenue. I used the various coding tools available to me on the robust platform of Microsoft Windows 2000 and all of the user friendliness and support it has to offer.

    Recently, I was involved in an accident which left me immobile in hospital for a couple of months. In this time, without the ability to excercise, I began to gain weight, and would now go as far as to say I am fat. Also, because I could not get a haircut easily, my hair is long and unkempt. Fortunately, I have made a full recovery and since left hospital and gone back to work.

    Here is the problem:

    Now at work, I refuse to use Java, instead prefering to use what I used to think was a garbled mess of inefficiency - perl. Not only that, but once I have completed any code (which takes a lot longer than it used to with Java - but it can't be perl's fault because perl is perfect) I now genuinely believe that giving away the past few months worth of work for free is a valid business model! Equally, my productivity has plummeted because I have switched from Windows to Linux, as I now realise that it is better to write a 75 line bash script to copy files than to drag and drop in explorer - I think it has something to do with being l337 and having control, not like you M$ Windoze lusers LOL!!

    Clearly something is wrong with me and I would love to know what it is. Does anybody know why I have lost all common sense, personal hygiene, business sense and instead gained the ability to program in a rune like language?

    Please, I need all of the help I can get.

    --gazbo

    PS. I can't add any more details now, as I have an irrepressible urge to learn to play the GNU/flute.

    From the annals of the Troll Library .