Researchers find that "certain pants do not, in fact, reduce or enlarge the size of women's posteriors."
"Wives across the country can now stop asking their husbands if they look fat in this or that article of clothing" claims Harvey Lechbetter, lead analyst for the prestigious Cloth Foundation, which sponsored the clinical trials.
Book publisher Addison Wesley, after conducting research showing that people make photocopies of their material, ceased printing any books with black, legible type.
"All out books are completely normal and qualify for Library of Congress cataloging... we've simply removed the text as a precautionary measure to defeat the thieving scum of the world." says spokesman Yanash Smythe.
When contacted for comment, Addison Wesley CEO Marcus Ardaile added that any reported incidents of people not being able to properly read the new books must be caused by "faulty eyes" rather than any inherent problems with the textless printing process.
I still don't agree. People are lazy.
How many times have movies been rented for 5 days, not watched and returned late for double the orginal rental fee?
Um... try Netflix then. Speaking as a lazy person, it's the only way to rent DVDs.
Sony (holding royal flush): I raise you $1.
Nintendo (holding 4 aces): I'll see your $1 and raise you $2:
MS (holding jack-squat): I'll see your $2 and raise you A MILLION BILLION DOLLARS.
Yep. Just like Microsoft... they don't even play by the rules in ironic-analogy-world!
That just cracks me up. Probably a great example of what drives me nuts about Unions... the "Uh oh! Someone doesn't agree with the Union! They have valid points, but I'm not going to listen, nor let any of my brethren listen!"
Soon, people will start spamming the board with virtual chants.
Slashdot Mirror
"Wives across the country can now stop asking their husbands if they look fat in this or that article of clothing" claims Harvey Lechbetter, lead analyst for the prestigious Cloth Foundation, which sponsored the clinical trials.
"All out books are completely normal and qualify for Library of Congress cataloging... we've simply removed the text as a precautionary measure to defeat the thieving scum of the world." says spokesman Yanash Smythe.
When contacted for comment, Addison Wesley CEO Marcus Ardaile added that any reported incidents of people not being able to properly read the new books must be caused by "faulty eyes" rather than any inherent problems with the textless printing process.
Um... try Netflix then. Speaking as a lazy person, it's the only way to rent DVDs.
Jeff
Could somebody dig up this guy's home address and phone number and post it here, please?
I'm sure he won't mind... after all, he should have a pretty dramatically reduced expectation of privacy after pushing this policy through.
That just cracks me up. Probably a great example of what drives me nuts about Unions... the "Uh oh! Someone doesn't agree with the Union! They have valid points, but I'm not going to listen, nor let any of my brethren listen!"
Soon, people will start spamming the board with virtual chants.
"WE ARE..."
"...UNION!"
Pphhhhphtpt!