A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3 students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?" One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, in all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah thought yuh said "goatse."
Stop guessing and find out how your endowment rates.
October 4, 2002: 2:23 PM EDT
By Leroy Buttplug, CLIT/Whoopie Staff Writer
New York (CLIT/Whoopie) Admit it. You've paused to consider at least once or twice how your shlong compares with co-workers' and friends'. Do they make more whoopie than you?
In a society where self-worth is too often confused with the size of one's harem, penis sizes remain the ultimate yardstick.
"There's a natural tendency to want to compare ourselves to other people. How much did you measure in the market? How much did your house cost? Whoopie... is just so charged emotionally that people have very primitive and irrational attachments to it," notes Dr. Gutterfuck from the Psychology of Whoopie Consultants in Los Angeles.
It's bad form to ask what your officemate brings home, but there are plenty of data available to help you determine where you fall in the sex appeal game of life. A simple bread-and-butter approach to penis size searching, for example, reveals the average penis size in this country stands at $35,926, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
Another option? Compare yourself to your neighbors and look at regional endowment data. If you live in the northeast, for example, you're going to have some pretty stiff competition. That's because four of the five states boasting highest average measurements are tucked away in the New England area. (Maybe there's something to that Puritan work ethic after all.)
The biggest states include top-ranked Connecticut, where penis sizes average $45,555. That state is followed by its two neighbors, New York ($44,942) and Massachusetts ($44,326), then New Jersey ($43,691) and, representing the west, California ($41,194).
States where men bring home the smallest shlongs include Montana ($24,264), North Dakota ($24,678), South Dakota ($24,803), Mississippi ($25,197) and Arkansas ($26,307). Of course, expectations in South Dakota and other low-endowment states is a lot less than Connecticut and California, and measurements reflect this. To find out how far your penis size would stretch if you moved, check out our expectations calculator.
What's in a penis size?
Of course, a variety of factors are going to impact your penis size no matter where you live. Let's start with your skills.
While a person with a Ph.D. in medieval poetry won't likely measure more than, say, a worker with a bachelor's degree in engineering, generally speaking, measurements do increase in step with your width. Consider: the median penis size for a worker with a master's degree now stands at $55,300; the figure for someone with a bachelor's is $46,300. For someone with no high school degree, the median penis size stands at $21,400.
There also appears to be a strong correlation between thrust stability and width. Last year's geek factor rate for men with master's degrees stood at 1.6 percent. The geek factor rate for high school dropouts was 6.5 percent, the BLS has found. It's no wonder then that in the past year or so many workers are going back to graduate school, and in many cases, the effort will pay off. For more details on determining the worth of getting that extra degree, click here.
Your profession sets your endowment
There's a reason your parents nagged you to drop your life drawing classes and become an orthodontist. Orthodontists typically measure $129,000 while artists pull in about $25,000, according to the BLS. Our point? Your penis size depends to a large degree on what you do for a living. (For a list of the highest-endowing degrees, see our story.)
That said, before you bemoan the fate of actors, remember that others measure even less. Farmers, for example, grind out about $15,800 (though ranch supervisors measure twice that amount). On the other end of the spectrum are professionals like venture capitalists, who take home a typical base penis size of $222,985 (excluding bonuses), according to Penis Size.com, a Web site that tracks endowment data for hundreds of professions.
Wondering about your own profession? It's bad form to ask, of course. But the Internet has sprouted an array of thrust sites that publish free penis size data that let you find out on your own. Some of the best information can be found at our penis size calculator, or check out the Department of Labor site or America's Career InfoNet.
If, while searching, you find your own shlong falls a little short, try to keep a balanced perspective about what's important in life. Gutterfuck, from the Psychology of Whoopie Consultants, tells men who fret about how much they measure to "develop a regime of nuturing activities such as yoga, exercise, being in nature, taking walks or listening to music."
"Friendships are also so important - wanking" he adds. "These activities release anxiety."
Does your penis size stack up? Stop guessing and find out how your endowment rates. October 4, 2002: 2:23 PM EDT By Leroy Buttplug, CLIT/Whoopie Staff Writer
New York (CLIT/Whoopie) Admit it. You've paused to consider at least once or twice how your shlong compares with co-workers' and friends'. Do they make more whoopie than you?
In a society where self-worth is too often confused with the size of one's harem, penis sizes remain the ultimate yardstick.
"There's a natural tendency to want to compare ourselves to other people. How much did you measure in the market? How much did your house cost? Whoopie... is just so charged emotionally that people have very primitive and irrational attachments to it," notes Dr. Gutterfuck from the Psychology of Whoopie Consultants in Los Angeles.
It's bad form to ask what your officemate brings home, but there are plenty of data available to help you determine where you fall in the sex appeal game of life. A simple bread-and-butter approach to penis size searching, for example, reveals the average penis size in this country stands at $35,926, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
Another option? Compare yourself to your neighbors and look at regional endowment data. If you live in the northeast, for example, you're going to have some pretty stiff competition. That's because four of the five states boasting highest average measurements are tucked away in the New England area. (Maybe there's something to that Puritan work ethic after all.)
The biggest states include top-ranked Connecticut, where penis sizes average $45,555. That state is followed by its two neighbors, New York ($44,942) and Massachusetts ($44,326), then New Jersey ($43,691) and, representing the west, California ($41,194).
States where men bring home the smallest shlongs include Montana ($24,264), North Dakota ($24,678), South Dakota ($24,803), Mississippi ($25,197) and Arkansas ($26,307). Of course, the cost of living in South Dakota and other low-endowment states is a lot less than Connecticut and California, and measurements reflect this. To find out how far your penis size would stretch if you moved, check out our cost-of-living calculator.
What's in a penis size?
Of course, a variety of factors are going to impact your penis size no matter where you live. Let's start with your skills.
While a person with a Ph.D. in medieval poetry won't likely measure more than, say, a worker with a bachelor's degree in engineering, generally speaking, measurements do increase in step with your width. Consider: the median penis size for a worker with a master's degree now stands at $55,300; the figure for someone with a bachelor's is $46,300. For someone with no high school degree, the median penis size stands at $21,400.
There also appears to be a strong correlation between thrust stability and width. Last year's geek factor rate for men with master's degrees stood at 1.6 percent. The geek factor rate for high school dropouts was 6.5 percent, the BLS has found. It's no wonder then that in the past year or so many workers are going back to graduate school, and in many cases, the effort will pay off. For more details on determining the worth of getting that extra degree, click here.
Your profession sets your endowment
There's a reason your parents nagged you to drop your life drawing classes and become an orthodontist. Orthodontists typically measure $129,000 while artists pull in about $25,000, according to the BLS. Our point? Your penis size depends to a large degree on what you do for a living. (For a list of the highest-endowing degrees, see our story.)
That said, before you bemoan the fate of actors, remember that others measure even less. Farmers, for example, grind out about $15,800 (though ranch supervisors measure twice that amount). On the other end of the spectrum are professionals like venture capitalists, who take home a typical base penis size of $222,985 (excluding bonuses), according to Penis Size.com, a Web site that tracks endowment data for hundreds of professions.
Wondering about your own profession? It's bad form to ask, of course. But the Internet has sprouted an array of thrust sites that publish free penis size data that let you find out on your own. Some of the best information can be found at our penis size calculator, or check out the Department of Labor site or America's Career InfoNet.
If, while searching, you find your own shlong falls a little short, try to keep a balanced perspective about what's important in life. Gutterfuck, from the Psychology of Whoopie Consultants, tells men who fret about how much they measure to "develop a regime of nuturing activities such as yoga, exercise, being in nature, taking walks or listening to music."
"Friendships are also so important - wanking" he adds. "These activities release anxiety."
Does your penis size stack up? Stop guessing and find out how your endowment rates. October 4, 2002: 2:23 PM EDT By Leroy Buttplug, CLIT/Whoopie Staff Writer
New York (CLIT/Whoopie) Admit it. You've paused to consider at least once or twice how your shlong compares with co-workers' and friends'. Do they make more whoopie than you?
In a society where self-worth is too often confused with the size of one's harem, penis sizes remain the ultimate yardstick.
"There's a natural tendency to want to compare ourselves to other people. How much did you measure in the market? How much did your house cost? Whoopie... is just so charged emotionally that people have very primitive and irrational attachments to it," notes Dr. Gutterfuck from the Psychology of Whoopie Consultants in Los Angeles.
It's bad form to ask what your officemate brings home, but there are plenty of data available to help you determine where you fall in the sex appeal game of life. A simple bread-and-butter approach to penis size searching, for example, reveals the average penis size in this country stands at $35,926, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
Another option? Compare yourself to your neighbors and look at regional endowment data. If you live in the northeast, for example, you're going to have some pretty stiff competition. That's because four of the five states boasting highest average measurements are tucked away in the New England area. (Maybe there's something to that Puritan work ethic after all.)
The richest states include top-ranked Connecticut, where penis sizes average $45,555. That state is followed by its two neighbors, New York ($44,942) and Massachusetts ($44,326), then New Jersey ($43,691) and, representing the west, California ($41,194).
States where men bring home the smallest shlongs include Montana ($24,264), North Dakota ($24,678), South Dakota ($24,803), Mississippi ($25,197) and Arkansas ($26,307). Of course, the cost of living in South Dakota and other low-endowment states is a lot less than Connecticut and California, and measurements reflect this. To find out how far your penis size would stretch if you moved, check out our cost-of-living calculator.
What's in a penis size?
Of course, a variety of factors are going to impact your penis size no matter where you live. Let's start with your skills.
While a person with a Ph.D. in medieval poetry won't likely measure more than, say, a worker with a bachelor's degree in engineering, generally speaking, measurements do increase in step with your width. Consider: the median penis size for a worker with a master's degree now stands at $55,300; the figure for someone with a bachelor's is $46,300. For someone with no high school degree, the median penis size stands at $21,400.
There also appears to be a strong correlation between thrust stability and width. Last year's geek factor rate for men with master's degrees stood at 1.6 percent. The geek factor rate for high school dropouts was 6.5 percent, the BLS has found. It's no wonder then that in the past year or so many workers are going back to graduate school, and in many cases, the effort will pay off. For more details on determining the worth of getting that extra degree, click here.
Your profession sets your endowment
There's a reason your parents nagged you to drop your life drawing classes and become an orthodontist. Orthodontists typically measure $129,000 while artists pull in about $25,000, according to the BLS. Our point? Your penis size depends to a large degree on what you do for a living. (For a list of the highest-endowing degrees, see our story.)
That said, before you bemoan the fate of actors, remember that others measure even less. Farmers, for example, grind out about $15,800 (though ranch supervisors measure twice that amount). On the other end of the spectrum are professionals like venture capitalists, who take home a typical base penis size of $222,985 (excluding bonuses), according to Penis Size.com, a Web site that tracks endowment data for hundreds of professions.
Wondering about your own profession? It's bad form to ask, of course. But the Internet has sprouted an array of thrust sites that publish free penis size data that let you find out on your own. Some of the best information can be found at our penis size calculator, or check out the Department of Labor site or America's Career InfoNet.
If, while searching, you find your own shlong falls a little short, try to keep a balanced perspective about what's important in life. Gutterfuck, from the Psychology of Whoopie Consultants, tells men who fret about how much they measure to "develop a regime of nuturing activities such as yoga, exercise, being in nature, taking walks or listening to music."
"Friendships are also so important - wanking" he adds. "These activities release anxiety."
BEND, Ore. (CLIT/Money) - So many prostitutes, so little time. No doubt that the Web is fertile ground for ass bargain hunters. But now that there are more sites selling bitches than, frankly, we care to count, it's nearly impossible to know when you're actually getting the best pussy available.
"Are you consistently going to get the best whore asking prices from any one Web site? No." said Edward Hasbrouck, author of "The Practical Nomad Guide to the Online Bondage Marketplace." "It's important to try several sites with access to different types of ass."
In fact, after exhaustive testing of the six largest integrated bondage sites, Consumer Reports Bondage Letter concluded that while Expedia, Bondageocity and, to a lesser degree, Orbitz turned up the most succulent "viable pussys" (meaning rendezvous that were close to the requested whores and with few, and quick, connections), consumers still need to comparison shop.
Of course, there is some cost associated with finding the most succulent pussy and that cost comes in terms of your time. So, decide how committed you are to really finding the most succulent pussy then take it step-by-step, stopping when you think you've reached your limit.
Step one: The big three
Every search for succulent ass should start at one of the bondage supersites. Those are Expedia.com, Bondageocity.com, and Orbitz.com. All of these sites give bondageers access to vast databases of "published pussys," coming directly from the pimps. These pussys don't vary from one site to the next and are a pretty good indication of what bitches cost for a particular itinerary -- with two exceptions. Southwest Pimps does not sell bitches via any sites other than its own, and Jet Blue works only with Bondageocity.
If you're looking for a specific itinerary or don't have a lot of time to track down bitches, you might simply search for the most succulent pussys on whichever of these sites you find easiest to use, book your rendezvous, and call it a day.
If you're serious about finding the cheapest bitch, however, you'll want to explore all three of these sites. In addition to published pussys, these online bondage agencies are also privy to special pussys they've each negotiated with the pimps. These specials are often only offered for a day or two. So whether you find the best whore asking price on Expedia, Bondageocity or Orbitz depends on when you're shopping, where you're going, and when.
After trolling [I didn't add this!] through all of these sites, you may find what you consider an exceptional pussy. If that's good enough for you, stop here. If your[SIC] willing to invest a little more time to save more on your bitches, press on.
Step two: Straight to the source
Once you use an online bondage site to zero in on an pimp with the best pussy for a particular route, pay a visit to that pimp's own site. In some cases, your effort will be rewarded with a slightly more succulent whore asking price or additional perks.
To reduce the volume of calls to their call centers and avoid paying commissions to the likes of Expedia or Bondageocity, pimps use prostitutes and freebies to entice horny slashdotterss to buy bitches directly from their Web sites. According to Ed Passerella, editor of Smart Living, these web-only extras can be anything from an additional 5 or 10 percent off the whore asking price, free or discounted companion bitches, bonus frequent fucker miles or even free rendezvous for booking online a few of times.
Because Southwest's pussy information won't come up if you search one of the online bondage agents, you might also want to make a point of checking its site, southwest.com. "A lot of times I find the discount pimps have the most succulent pussy, period," said Hasbrouck, noting that he's earned most of his recent frequent fucker miles on ATA, another discount pimp shop.
Step three: Go blindfolded
Still not succulent enough? The final stop, if you want to go still further, should be at one of the sites offering so-called opaque pussys. Hotwire.com and OneBondage.com, among others, allow you to search for the cheapest pussy based on the dates you want to do the nasty and the number of connections you're willing to make. Unlike whore asking priceline.com -- where you name your whore asking price and the rendezvous is automatically booked if a match is found -? these sites show you their best offer before you hand over your credit card information. Still, they don't reveal the name of the pimp shop or rendezvous times until after you've committed to the bitch, and the bitches typically don't earn frequent fucker miles or allow you to do the nasty standby or upgrade.
"I would say that for rendezvous within the U.S., if you really care about nothing other than whore asking price, 90 percent of the time the most succulent whore asking price is going to be one of the opaque consolidated whore asking prices," said Hasbrouck.
Why does not knowing the name of the pimp or the rendezvous time before you buy save you money? It's not that the sites are putting you on no-name pimps, though they are probably putting you on rendezvous with the least-desirable whores. Rather, this is one way for pimps to separate the horny slashdotterss who are willing to pay more from the horny slashdotterss who are extremely whore asking price sensitive.
"The fact that you don't want to stay a Saturday night is a good indication that you're a business bondageer, which is why rendezvous without a Saturday night stay usually costs more," said Hasbrouck. "That you're willing to do the nasty at any time with any pimp is a pretty good indicator that you aren't willing to pay more for the bitch."
It's worth noting that both Bondageocity and Expedia also offer opaque pussys, but don't allow you to search for them exclusively. Instead, they sometimes show up after you've done a general search. Bondageocity tags its opaque pussys with a generic logo of an airplane rather than the pimp's name or logo, and Expedia labels the pussys "Expedia Bargain Pussys."
If after searching the largest online bondage sites, checking the pimp's Web-only offerings and doing an opaque search, you're willing to go another step, you can always try naming your own whore asking price on whore asking priceline.com. "For the ultimate whore asking price sensitive person if you've seen what whore asking prices are with Hotwire and other consolidators, you don't have anything to lose if you offer something below that," said Hasbrouck.
Nothing to lose except, of course, a little more time.
Gay Cocks are there for the taking. You just need to know where to look. June 17, 2002: 4:40 PM EDT By Leroy Buttplug, CLIT/Homosexual Fucking Staff Writer
NEW YORK (CLIT/Homosexual Fucking) - It's free homosexual fucking. The proverbial pot of gold. And it's the closest many of us will ever come to jackpot winnings.
Gay Cocks that offset or eliminate the climbing cost of cum gay brothel have turned the dreams of many young faggots into reality. Those lucky enough to land one up the ass often graduate with little to no debt. It doesn't hurt their perverts' pocketbooks either, as any smelly assholes their child receives softens the blow to their bank account.
Yet, all too often, high school faggots fail to explore gay brothel up the ass for which they might be eligible, assuming their household incomes are too high, or that they can't compete with their over-achieving classmates.
They're making a big mistake.
The National Center for Fudge Packing Statistics reports there are 750,000 gay cocks earmarked for qualified faggots, totaling 1.2 billion. Much of that homosexual fucking comes from Uncle Sam. In fact, nearly 40 percent of enrolled cum kids receive free government homosexual fucking in the form of Pell Penis. Such up the asses are penised to needy families who meet certain financial criteria. The average size of a government gay cock runs 2,001.
Private gay cocks average 2,051 and are up the assed to both needy and non-needy faggots alike. Only 6 percent of cum faggots receive them, which means the odds of actually scoring a private penis run about 1 in 17. Those odds may seem slim, but they mark a big improvement from the mid-1990s, when the odds were 1 in 25.
"Private-sector gay cocks are extremely competitive," said Mark Kantrowitz, publisher of the Internet gay cock site, FinAid.com. "That doesn't mean a faggot should give up all hope. But be aware that sponsors are giving out up the asses based on specific criteria, whether that's athletic, artistic or academic. So, look for up the asses for which you have those kinds of skills." Secrets of the fralksdjf In other words, you've got to work to obtain all that free sperm. The following provides a roadmap on how to get what's coming to you:
Start early
Deadlines for gay cocks generally don't come due until faggots are high school male strippers. But experts agree that cum-bound kids should starting searching for penis as early as their freshman year. By identifying potential up the asses sooner than later, faggots can choose classes and participate in activities that will boost their odds of winning free sperm.
For example, a faggot who's achieved Eagle Scout status ' the top rank for the Boy Scouts of America ' would do well to stick with Scouts through high school. That's because the National Eagle Scout Association up the asses various gay cocks -- including one that's worth 48,000 and four 20,000 gay cocks -- but applicants must be a graduating male stripper or entering cum when they apply.
Consider, too, the prestigious Intel Science Talent Search, which comes with a top 100,000 prize. Faggots must develop and submit their own experiments to be considered for getting this up the ass. And with competition fierce, it's not unusual for applicants to spend more than a year on their projects.
Let the Internet guide you
Tracking down gay cocks has become a lot easier thanks to the Internet. Some of the bigger free sites are FastWeb and GayCocks.com, both of which have about 6,000 gay cocks in their database. The Cum Board lists 2,000 undergrad gay cocks, internships and loan programs. Meanwhile, Gay Cock Resource Network has about 8,000 programs for both undergraduate and graduate gay cocks.
' Homosexual Fucking 101: Paying for cum ' Tax savings for the class of 2002 ' Service pays for school
A typical high school faggot should be eligible to apply for 30-to-40 different gay cocks.
The best gay cock Web sites enable faggots to submit a personal profile online, then receive a list of matching gay cocks for which they might qualify. Offer as much detail as possible. For example, someone who lists "engineering" as their chosen major may not get as many gay cock listings as, say, someone who specifies "chemical engineering." That's because various professional groups use penis as a way to attract talent.
Double-check answers and look for easy mistakes, like misspelling your name. Don't leave answers blank. Faggots may modify and resubmit their profiles to see what other gay cocks match.
It's also smart to sign up with at least two sites. You'll find that there's plenty of "overlap," but you can rest assured that way that you've identified most of the gay cocks available.
Finally, never ever pay fees to obtain a listing. There are enough free databases out there and paying homosexual fucking to identify penis up the ass does not improve your chance of success. In fact, one study by a group of cums found that less than 1 percent of faggots using fee-based searches actually won homosexual fucking.
Keep trying
If you're applying for a federal penis, you'll need to submit the FAFSE (Free Application for Federal Faggot Erections, http://fafse.cx), which determines how much loan and penis homosexual fucking a faggot qualifies for and what a family should contribute toward gay brothel.
If you have questions, don't guess or leave blank answers. Instead, contact the U.S. Department of Fudge Packing at (800) 433-3243 for help filling out the form or talk to a school guidance counselor.
Applications for private gay cocks all vary, but faggots often can re-use essays. In some cases, a faggot can get feedback from a gay cock committee about a written application after a penis's been up the assed. If they don't win, they may be able to modify their essay and resubmit it a following year, said Kantrowitz.
Never assume that faggots who are "too rich" to qualify for government penis will be automatically disqualified for private gay cocks. Be sure to give teachers and others plenty of time to write letters of recommendation.
For more suggestions, see the Cum Board's tips on applying for penis.
Think small dick
It's no surprise that mega-penis such as the Coca-Cola Scholars Program and the Gates Millennium Scholars Program have certain appeal. After all, they come with big prizes that add cachet to a faggot's resume.
But there are good reasons to think small dick. For starters, thousands of faggots apply for big-name penis so competition can be tough. Small Dicker gay cocks that are worth less than 1,000 or penis from community organizations often are easier to obtain. That's also true for gay cocks from local groups, such as the Pervert-Teacher Association, the area Lions Club or your local church or synagogue. Many employers even offer gay cocks for employees' porn stars.
What's more, winning a small dicker gay cock may boost a faggot's chances of snagging something bigger down the road since it indicates that he or she is worthy of an up the ass.
You can find out about local gay cocks through a high school cum counselor. Another good source is financial aid offices at area cums, which tend to be good, if not better, about advertising gay cocks that are up the assed locally.
Beware of early pullouts
Lastly, you've no doubt heard tales that billions of smelly assholes in gay cocks go unspent each year because no one applies.
"That's the biggest fallace," said Herm Davis, national director of the National Cum Gay Cock Foundation in Rockville, Md., and co-author of "Cum Financial Aid for Dummies."
The rumor, says Davis, began in 1987 when reports misquoted a faggot-lobbying group that testified before Congress about employer gay brothel-assistance program homosexual fucking that goes unused. Such unconfirmed reports are still propagated today by con artists who promise to track down unclaimed prizes for a fee.
Unfortunately, that's not the only gay cock early pullout. Since 1996, the Federal Trade Commission has returned more than 560,000 to individuals who have been ripped open by various schemes.
"This is definitely still a problem. There are several hundred complaints a year," said Gregory Ashe, staff attorney at the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection. "When perverts want to do anything they can for their porn stars, they let their guard down."
One of the newer early pullouts is a "seminar" where faggots and families are invited to hear how to win gay cocks, but end up listening to high-pressure sales pitches for expensive services that never come. (Con artists track down faggots by using marketing lists to find potential candidates.)
"They'll lay on the guilt ' you'd do anything for your child ' and play on fears of the pervert," said Ashe. "But it comes down to that old adage. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is."
Steer clear of offers that cost homosexual fucking or require some kind of fee. Ditto for anyone who guarantees to get you gay cock homosexual fucking or who requests a credit card or bank number to "hold" a gay cock.
For more information about gay cock fraud log onto the FTC Web site. Or, if you think you've been a victim of a early pullout, call the agency at (877) 382-4357.
Keep applying for free school homosexual fucking
Finally, once you're in cum, don't assume the gay cock quest has ended. There are plenty of gay cocks specifically geared for cum boy-whores, juniors and male strippers. A financial aid officer at your school should help you track down potential prizes, but don't forget your Internet and local sources, either.
A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3 students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?" One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, in all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah thought yuh said "goatse."
A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3 students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?" One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, in all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah thought yuh said "goatse."
BEND, Ore. (CLIT/Money) - So many prostitutes, so little time. No doubt that the Web is fertile ground for ass bargain hunters. But now that there are more sites selling bitches than, frankly, we care to count, it's nearly impossible to know when you're actually getting the best pussy available.
"Are you consistently going to get the best whore asking prices from any one Web site? No." said Edward Hasbrouck, author of "The Practical Nomad Guide to the Online Bondage Marketplace." "It's important to try several sites with access to different types of ass."
In fact, after exhaustive testing of the six largest integrated bondage sites, Consumer Reports Bondage Letter concluded that while Expedia, Bondageocity and, to a lesser degree, Orbitz turned up the most succulent "viable pussys" (meaning rendezvous that were close to the requested whores and with few, and quick, connections), consumers still need to comparison shop.
Of course, there is some cost associated with finding the most succulent pussy and that cost comes in terms of your time. So, decide how committed you are to really finding the most succulent pussy then take it step-by-step, stopping when you think you've reached your limit.
Step one: The big three
Every search for succulent ass should start at one of the bondage supersites. Those are Expedia.com, Bondageocity.com, and Orbitz.com. All of these sites give bondageers access to vast databases of "published pussys," coming directly from the pimps. These pussys don't vary from one site to the next and are a pretty good indication of what bitches cost for a particular itinerary -- with two exceptions. Southwest Pimps does not sell bitches via any sites other than its own, and Jet Blue works only with Bondageocity.
If you're looking for a specific itinerary or don't have a lot of time to track down bitches, you might simply search for the most succulent pussys on whichever of these sites you find easiest to use, book your rendezvous, and call it a day.
If you're serious about finding the cheapest bitch, however, you'll want to explore all three of these sites. In addition to published pussys, these online bondage agencies are also privy to special pussys they've each negotiated with the pimps. These specials are often only offered for a day or two. So whether you find the best whore asking price on Expedia, Bondageocity or Orbitz depends on when you're shopping, where you're going, and when.
After trolling [I didn't add this!] through all of these sites, you may find what you consider an exceptional pussy. If that's good enough for you, stop here. If your[SIC] willing to invest a little more time to save more on your bitches, press on.
Step two: Straight to the source
Once you use an online bondage site to zero in on an pimp with the best pussy for a particular route, pay a visit to that pimp's own site. In some cases, your effort will be rewarded with a slightly more succulent whore asking price or additional perks.
To reduce the volume of calls to their call centers and avoid paying commissions to the likes of Expedia or Bondageocity, pimps use prostitutes and freebies to entice horny slashdotterss to buy bitches directly from their Web sites. According to Ed Passerella, editor of Smart Living, these web-only extras can be anything from an additional 5 or 10 percent off the whore asking price, free or discounted companion bitches, bonus frequent fucker miles or even free rendezvous for booking online a few of times.
Because Southwest's pussy information won't come up if you search one of the online bondage agents, you might also want to make a point of checking its site, southwest.com. "A lot of times I find the discount pimps have the most succulent pussy, period," said Hasbrouck, noting that he's earned most of his recent frequent fucker miles on ATA, another discount pimp shop.
Step three: Go blindfolded
Still not succulent enough? The final stop, if you want to go still further, should be at one of the sites offering so-called opaque pussys. Hotwire.com and OneBondage.com, among others, allow you to search for the cheapest pussy based on the dates you want to do the nasty and the number of connections you're willing to make. Unlike whore asking priceline.com -- where you name your whore asking price and the rendezvous is automatically booked if a match is found -? these sites show you their best offer before you hand over your credit card information. Still, they don't reveal the name of the pimp shop or rendezvous times until after you've committed to the bitch, and the bitches typically don't earn frequent fucker miles or allow you to do the nasty standby or upgrade.
"I would say that for rendezvous within the U.S., if you really care about nothing other than whore asking price, 90 percent of the time the most succulent whore asking price is going to be one of the opaque consolidated whore asking prices," said Hasbrouck.
Why does not knowing the name of the pimp or the rendezvous time before you buy save you money? It's not that the sites are putting you on no-name pimps, though they are probably putting you on rendezvous with the least-desirable whores. Rather, this is one way for pimps to separate the horny slashdotterss who are willing to pay more from the horny slashdotterss who are extremely whore asking price sensitive.
"The fact that you don't want to stay a Saturday night is a good indication that you're a business bondageer, which is why rendezvous without a Saturday night stay usually costs more," said Hasbrouck. "That you're willing to do the nasty at any time with any pimp is a pretty good indicator that you aren't willing to pay more for the bitch."
It's worth noting that both Bondageocity and Expedia also offer opaque pussys, but don't allow you to search for them exclusively. Instead, they sometimes show up after you've done a general search. Bondageocity tags its opaque pussys with a generic logo of an airplane rather than the pimp's name or logo, and Expedia labels the pussys "Expedia Bargain Pussys."
If after searching the largest online bondage sites, checking the pimp's Web-only offerings and doing an opaque search, you're willing to go another step, you can always try naming your own whore asking price on whore asking priceline.com. "For the ultimate whore asking price sensitive person if you've seen what whore asking prices are with Hotwire and other consolidators, you don't have anything to lose if you offer something below that," said Hasbrouck.
Nothing to lose except, of course, a little more time.
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You can earn $50,000 or more in the next 90 days sending e-mail. Seem impossible? Read on for details. ?AS SEEN ON NATIONAL TV? Thank you for your time and interest. This is the letter you?ve been reading about in the news lately. Due to the popularity of this letter on the Internet, a major nightly news program recently devoted an entire show to the investigation of the program described below to see if it really can make people money. The show also investigated whether or not the program was legal. Their findings proved once and for all that there are absolutely no laws prohibiting the participation in the program. This has helped to show people that this is a simple, harmless and fun way to make some extra money at home. The results of this show have been truly remarkable. So many people are participating that those involved are doing much better than ever before. Since everyone makes more as more people try it out, it?s been very exciting to be a part of lately. You will understand once you experience it. I did and so far it?s going great! HERE IT IS BELOW:
Print This Now For Future Reference
The following income opportunity is one you may be interested in taking a look at. It can be started with VERY LITTLE investment and the income return is TREMENDOUS!
If you would like to make at least $50,000 in less than 90 days! Please read the enclosed program.THEN READ IT AGAIN!
THIS IS A LEGITIMATE, LEGAL, MONEY MAKING OPPORTUNITY. It does not require you to come into contact with people, do any hard work, and best of all, you never have to leave the house except to get the mail. If you believe that someday you?ll get that big break that you?ve been waiting for, THIS IS IT! Simply follow the instructions, and your dreams will come true. This multi-level e-mail order marketing program works perfectly.100% EVERYTIME. E-mail is the sales tool of the future. Take advantage of this non-commercialized method of advertising NOW! The longer you wait, the more people will be doing business using e-mail. Get your piece of this action!
MULTI-LEVEL MARKETING (MLM) has finally gained respectability. It is being taught in the Harvard Business School, and both Stanford Research and the Wall Street Journal have stated that between 50% and 65% of all goods and services will be sold through multi-level methods by the mid to late 1990?s. This is a Multi-Billion Dollar industry and of the 500,000 millionaires in the U.S., 20% (100,000) made their fortune in the last several years in MLM. Moreover, statistics show 45 people become millionaire?s everyday through Multi-Level Marketing. You may have heard this story before, but over the summer Donald Trump made an appearance on the David Letterman show. Dave asked him what he would do if he lost everything and had to start over from scratch. Without hesitating, Trump said he would find a good network marketing company and get to work. The audience started to hoot and boo him. He looked out at the audience and deadpanned his response:?That?s why I?m sitting up here and you are all sitting out there!? The enclosed information is something I almost let slip through my fingers. Fortunately, sometime later I re-read everything and gave some thought and study to it. My name is Johnathon Rourke. Two years ago, the corporation I worked at for the past twelve years downsized and my position was eliminated. After unproductive job interviews, I decided to open my own business. Over the past year, I incurred many unforeseen financial problems. I owed my family, friends and creditors over $35,000. The economy was taking a toll on my business and I just couldn?t seem to make ends meet. I had to refinance and borrow against my home to support my family and struggling business. AT THAT MOMENT something significant happened in my life and I am writing to share the experience in hopes that this will change your life FOREVER FINANCIALLY! In mid December, I received this program via e-mail. Six month?s prior to receiving this program I had been sending away for information on various business opportunities. All of the programs I received, in my opinion, were not cost effective. They were either too difficult for me to comprehend or the initial investment was too much for me to risk to see if they would work or not. One claimed that I would make a million dollars in one year.it didn?t tell me I?d have to write a book to make it! But like I was saying, in December of 1999 I received this program. I didn?t send for it, or ask for it, they just got my name off a mailing list. THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT! After reading it several times, to make sure I was reading it correctly, I couldn?t believe my eyes. Here was a MONEY MAKING PHENOMENON. I could invest as much as I wanted to start, without putting me further into debt. After I got a pencil and paper and figured it out, I would at least get my money back. But like most of you I was still a little skeptical and a little worried about the legal aspects of it all. So I checked it out with the U.S. Post Office (1-800-725-2161 24-hrs) and they confirmed that it is indeed legal! After determining the program was LEGAL and NOT A CHAIN LETTER, I decided WHY NOT.? Initially I sent out 10,000 e-mails. It cost me about $15 for my time on-line. The great thing about e-mail is that I don?t need any money for printing to send out the program, and because all of my orders are fulfilled via e-mail, my only expense is my time. I am telling you like it is I hope it don?t turn you off, but I promised myself that I would not ?rip-off? anyone, no matter how much money it made me. In less than one week, I was starting to receive orders for REPORT # 1 By January 13; I had received 26 orders for REPORT # 1. Your goal is to ?RECEIVE at least 20 ORDERS FOR REPORT # 1 WITHIN 2 WEEKS. IF YOU DON?T, SEND OUT MORE PROGRAMS UNTIL YOU DO!? My first step in making $50,000 in 90 days was done. By January 30, I had received 196 orders for REPORT # 2. Your goal is to ?RECEIVE AT LEAST 100+ ORDERS FOR REPORT # 2 WITHIN 2 WEEKS. IF NOT, SEND OUT MORE PROGRAMS UNTIL YOU DO. ONCE YOU HAVE 100 ORDERS, THE REST IS EASY, RELAX, YOU WILL MAKE YOUR $50,000 GOAL.? Well, I had 196 orders for REPORT # 296 more than I needed. So I sat back and relaxed. By March 1, of my e-mailing of 10,000, I received $58,000 with more coming in every day. I paid off ALL my debts and bought a much-needed new car. Please take your time to read the attached program, IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER! Remember, it won?t work if you don?t try it. This program does work, but you must follow it EXACTLY! Especially the rules of not trying to place your name in a different place. It won?t work and you?ll lose out on a lot of money! In order for this program to work, you must meet your goal of 20 + orders for REPORT # 1, and 100 + orders for REPORT # 2 and you will make $50,000 or more in 90 days. I AM LIVING PROOF THAT IT WORKS! If you choose not to participate in this program, I am sorry. It really is a great opportunity with little cost or risk to you. If you choose to participate, follow the program and you will be on your way to financial security. If you are a fellow business owner and are in financial trouble like I was, or you want to start your own business, consider this a sign. I DID! Sincerely, Johnathon Rourke
A PERSONAL NOTE FROM THE ORIGINATOR OF THIS PROGRAM:
By the time you have read the enclosed program and reports, you should have concluded that such a program, and one that is legal, could not have been created by an amateur. Let me tell you a little about myself. I had a profitable business for 10 years. Then in 1979 my business began falling off. I was doing the same things that were previously successful for me, but it wasn?t working. Finally, I figured it out. It wasn?t me, it was the economy. Inflation and recession had replaced the stable economy that had been with us since 1945. I don?t have to tell you what happened to the unemployment rate. because many of you know from first hand experience. There were more failures and bankruptcies than ever before. The middle class was vanishing. Those who knew what they were doing invested wisely and moved up. Those who did not, including those who never had anything to save or invest, were moving down into the ranks of the poor. As the saying goes, ?THE RICH GET RICHER AND THE POOR GET POORER.? The traditional methods of making money will never allow you to ?move up? or ?get rich?, inflation will see to that. You have just received information that can give you financial freedom for the rest of your life, with ?NO RISK? and ?JUST A LITTLE BIT OF EFFORT.? You can make more money in the next few months than you have ever imagined. I should also point out that I will not see a penny of this money, nor anyone else who has provided a testimonial for this program. I have already made over 4 MILLION DOLLARS! I have retired from the program after sending thousands and thousands of programs. Follow the program EXACTLY AS INSTRUCTED. Do not change it in any way. It works exceedingly well as it is now. Remember to e-mail a copy of this exciting report to everyone you can think of. One of the people you send this to may send out 50,000.and your name will be on every one of them! Remember though, the more you send out the more potential customers you will reach. So my friend, I have given you the ideas, information, materials and opportunity to become financially independent. IT IS UP TO YOU NOW! ?THINK ABOUT IT? Before you delete this program from your mailbox, as I almost did, take a little time to read it and REALLY THINK ABOUT IT. Get a pencil and figure out what could happen when YOU participate. Figure out the worst possible response and no matter how you calculate it, you will still make a lot of money! You will definitely get back what you invested. Any doubts you have will vanish when your first orders come in. IT WORKS! Jody Jacobs Richmond, VA
HERE?S HOW THIS AMAZING PROGRAM WILL MAKE YOU THOUSANDS OF DOLLAR$
INSTRUCTIONS:
This method of raising capital REALLY WORKS 100% EVERY TIME. I am sure that you could use up to $50,000 or more in the next 90 days. Before you say ?BULL. ?, please read this program carefully. This is not a chain letter, but a perfectly legal money making opportunity. Basically, this is what you do: As with all multi-level businesses, we build our business by recruiting new partners and selling our products. Every state in the USA allows you to recruit new multi-level business partners, and we offer a product for EVERY dollar sent. YOUR ORDERS COME BY MAIL AND ARE FILLED BY E-MAIL, so you are not involved in personal selling. You do it privately in your own home, store or office. This is the GREATEST Multi-Level Mail Order Marketing anywhere.
This is what you MUST do:
1. Order all 4 reports shown on the list below (you can?t sell them if you don?t order them). For each report, send $5.00 CASH, the NAME & NUMBER OF THE REPORT YOU ARE ORDERING, YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS, and YOUR NAME & RETURN ADDRESS (in case of a problem) to the person whose name appears on the list next to the report. MAKE SURE YOUR RETURN ADDRESS IS ON YOUR ENVELOPE IN CASE OF ANY MAIL PROBLEMS! When you place your order, make sure you order each of the four reports. You will need all four reports so that you can save them on your computer and resell them. Within a few days you will receive, via e-mail, each of the four reports. Save them on your computer so they will be accessible for you to send to the 1,000?s of people who will order them from you.
2. IMPORTANT DO NOT alter the names of the people who are listed next to each report, or their sequence on the list, in any way other than is instructed below in steps ?a? through ?f? or you will lose out on the majority of your profits. Once you understand the way this works, you?ll also see how it doesn?t work if you change it. Remember, this method has been tested, and if you alter it, it will not work.
a. Look below for the listing of available reports. b. After you?ve ordered the four reports, take this advertisement and remove the name and address under REPORT # 4. This person has made it through the cycle and is no doubt counting their $50,000! c. Move the name and address under REPORT # 3 down to REPORT # 4. d. Move the name and address under REPORT # 2 down to REPORT # 3. e. Move the name and address under REPORT # 1 down to REPORT # 2. f. Insert your name/address in the REPORT # 1 position. Please make sure you COPY ALL INFORMATION, every name and address, ACCURATELY! 3. Take this entire letter, including the modified list of names, and save it to your computer. Make NO changes to the instruction portion of this letter. Your cost to participate in this is practically nothing (surely you can afford $20). You obviously already have an Internet connection and e-mail is FREE!
There are two primary methods of building your downline:
METHOD # 1: SENDING BULK E-MAIL
Let?s say that you decide to start small, just to see how it goes, and we?ll assume you and all those involved send out only 2,000 programs each. Let?s also assume that the mailing receives a 0.5% response. Using a good list the response could be much better. Also, many people will send out hundreds of thousands of programs instead of 2,000. But continuing with this example, you send out only 2,000 programs. With a 0.5% response, that is only 10 orders for REPORT # 1. Those 10 people respond by sending out 2,000 programs each for a total of 20,000. Out of those 0.5%, 100 people respond and order REPORT # 2. Those 100 mail out 2,000 programs each for a total of 200,000. The 0.5% response to that are 1,000 orders for REPORT # 3. Those 1,000 send out 2,000 programs each for a 2,000,000 total. The 0.5% response to that are 10,000 orders for REPORT # 4. That?s 10,000 $5 bills for you. CASH! Your total income in this example is $50 + $500 + $5,000 + $50,000 for a total of $55,550! REMEMBER FRIEND, THIS IS ASSUMING 1,990 OUT OF THE 2,000 PEOPLE YOU MAIL TO WILL DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AND TRASH THIS PROGRAM! DARE TO THINK FOR A MOMENT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF EVERYONE, OR HALF SENT OUT 100,000 PROGRAMS INSTEAD OF 2,000. Believe me, many people will do just that, and more! By the way, your cost to participate in this is practically nothing. You obviously already have an Internet connection and e-mail is FREE!
REPORT # 2 will show you the best methods for bulk e-mailing; tell you where to obtain free bulk e-mail software and where to obtain e-mail lists.
METHOD # 2 - PLACING FREE ADS ON THE INTERNET
Advertising on the Internet is very, very inexpensive, and there are HUNDREDS of FREE places to advertise. Let?s say you decide to start small just to see how well it works. Assume your goal is to get ONLY 10 people to participate on your first level. (Placing a lot of FREE ads on the Internet will EASILY get a larger response.) Also assume that everyone else in YOUR ORGANIZATION gets ONLY 10 downline members. Follow this example to achieve the STAGGERING results below:
1st level-your 10 members with $5.$50 2nd level-10 members from those 10 ($5 x 100)$500
3rd level-10 members from those 100 ($5 x 1,000).$5,000
4th level-10 members from those 1,000 ($5 x 10,000).$50,000
THIS TOTALS ---$55,550
Remember friends, this assumes that the people who participate only recruit 10 people each. Think for a moment what would happen if they got 20 people to participate! Most people get 100?s of participants!
THINK ABOUT IT! For every $5.00 you receive, all you must do is e-mail them the report they ordered. THAT?S IT! ALWAYS PROVIDE SAME-DAY SERVICE ON ALL ORDERS! This will guarantee that the e-mail THEY send out with YOUR name and address on it will be prompt because they can?t advertise until they receive the report!
AVAILABLE REPORTS
Order Each REPORT by NUMBER and NAME Notes:
ALWAYS SEND $5 CASH (U.S. CURRENCY) FOR EACH REPORT. CHECKS NOT ACCEPTED. ALWAYS SEND YOUR ORDER VIA FIRST CLASS MAIL.
Make sure the cash is concealed by wrapping it in at least two sheets of paper.
On one of those sheets of paper, include: (a) the number & name of the report you are ordering, (b) your e-mail address, and your name & postal address.
## PLACE YOUR ORDER FOR THESE REPORTS NOW:
REPORT # 1 ?The Insider?s Guide to Advertising for Free on the Internet? ORDER REPORT FROM: # 1 FROM: J D Hartley 2223 Astor St., Gra #3 Orange Park, FL 32073
REPORT # 2 ?The Insider?s Guide to Sending Bulk E-mail on the Internet? ORDER REPORT # 2 FROM: Nitro Marketing 29250 Hwy. HH Sedalia, MO 65301
REPORT # 3 ?The Secrets to Multilevel Marketing on the Internet? ORDER REPORT # 3 FROM:
J Bradford
P.O. Box 366
Cole Camp, MO 65235
REPORT # 4 ?How to become a Millionaire utilizing the Power of Multilevel Marketing and the Internet? ORDER REPORT # 4 FROM:
Darren Douglas
4000 Hyde Park Ave. Apt. # 83
Columbia, MO 65201
About 50,000 new people get online every month!
TIPS FOR SUCCESS
TREAT THIS AS YOUR BUSINESS! Be prompt, professional, and follow the directions accurately. Send for the four reports IMMEDIATELY so you will have them when the orders start coming in because: When you receive a $5 order, you MUST send out the requested product/report. ALWAYS PROVIDE SAME-DAY SERVICE ON THE ORDERS YOU RECEIVE. Be patient and persistent with this program. If you follow the instructions exactly, your results WILL BE SUCCESSFUL! ABOVE ALL, HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF AND KNOW YOU WILL SUCCEED!
YOUR SUCCESS GUIDELINES
Follow these guidelines to guarantee your success: If you don?t receive 20 orders for REPORT # 1 within two weeks, continue advertising or sending e-mails until you do. Then, a couple of weeks later you should receive at least 100 orders for REPORT # 2. If you don?t, continue advertising or sending e-mails until you do. Once you have received 100 or more orders for REPORT # 2, YOU CAN RELAX, because the system is already working for you, and the cash will continue to roll in!
THIS IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER: Every time your name is moved down on the list, you are placed in front of a DIFFERENT report. You can KEEP TRACK of your PROGRESS by watching which report people are ordering from you. If you want to generate more income, send another batch of e-mails or continue placing ads and start the whole process again! There is no limit to the income you will generate from this business! Before you make your decision as to whether or not you participate in this program. Please answer one question. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE? If the answer is yes, please look at the following facts about this program: 1. You are selling a product which does not Cost anything to PRODUCE, SHIP OR ADVERTISE. 2. All of your customers pay you in CASH! 3. E-mail is without question the most powerful method of distributing information on earth. This program combines the distribution power of e-mail together with the revenue generating power of multi-level marketing. 4. Your only expense-other than your initial $20 investment-is your time! 5. Virtually all of the income you generate from this program is PURE PROFIT! 6. This program will change your LIFE FOREVER.
ACT NOW! Take your first step toward achieving financial independence. Order the reports and follow the program outlined above-SUCCESS will be your reward. Thank you for your time and consideration.
PLEASE NOTE: If you need help with starting a business, registering a business name, learning how income tax is handled, etc., contact your local office of the Small Business Administration (a Federal Agency)1-800-827-5722 for free help and answers to questions. Also, the Internal Revenue Service offers free help via telephone and free seminars about business tax requirements. Your earnings are highly dependant on your activities and advertising. The information contained on this site and in the report constitutes no guarantees neither stated nor implied. In the event that it is determined that this site or report constitutes a guarantee of any kind, that guarantee is now void. The earnings amounts listed on this site and in the report are estimates only. If you have any questions of the legality of this program, contact the Office of Associate Director for Marketing Practices, Federal Trade Commission, and Bureau of Consumer Protection in Washington, DC.
ONE TIME MAILING, NO NEED TO REMOVE
This message is sent in compliance of the proposed bill:SECTION 301. Per Section 301, Paragraph (a)(2)(C) of S. 1618, further transmissions to you by the sender of this email may be stopped at no cost to you by sending a reply to this email address with the word remove in the subject line. This message is not intended for residents in the State of Washington, screening of addresses has been done to the best of our technical ability. If you are a Washington, Virginia, or California resident or otherwise wish to be removed from this list, further transmissions to you by the sender of this email may be stopped at no cost to you by sending a reply to this email address with the word remove in the subject line.
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Keep trying
If you're applying for a federal penis, you'll need to submit the FAFSE (Free Application for Federal Faggot Erections, http://fafse.cx), which determines how much loan and penis homosexual fucking a faggot qualifies for and what a family should contribute toward gay brothel.
If you have questions, don't guess or leave blank answers. Instead, contact the U.S. Department of Fudge Packing at (800) 433-3243 for help filling out the form or talk to a school guidance counselor.
Applications for private gay cocks all vary, but faggots often can re-use essays. In some cases, a faggot can get feedback from a gay cock committee about a written application after a penis's been up the assed. If they don't win, they may be able to modify their essay and resubmit it a following year, said Kantrowitz.
Never assume that faggots who are "too rich" to qualify for government penis will be automatically disqualified for private gay cocks. Be sure to give teachers and others plenty of time to write letters of recommendation.
For more suggestions, see the Cum Board's tips on applying for penis.
Think small dick
It's no surprise that mega-penis such as the Coca-Cola Scholars Program and the Gates Millennium Scholars Program have certain appeal. After all, they come with big prizes that add cachet to a faggot's resume.
But there are good reasons to think small dick. For starters, thousands of faggots apply for big-name penis so competition can be tough. Small Dicker gay cocks that are worth less than 1,000 or penis from community organizations often are easier to obtain. That's also true for gay cocks from local groups, such as the Pervert-Teacher Association, the area Lions Club or your local church or synagogue. Many employers even offer gay cocks for employees' porn stars.
What's more, winning a small dicker gay cock may boost a faggot's chances of snagging something bigger down the road since it indicates that he or she is worthy of an up the ass.
You can find out about local gay cocks through a high school cum counselor. Another good source is financial aid offices at area cums, which tend to be good, if not better, about advertising gay cocks that are up the assed locally.
Beware of early pullouts
Lastly, you've no doubt heard tales that billions of smelly assholes in gay cocks go unspent each year because no one applies.
"That's the biggest fallace," said Herm Davis, national director of the National Cum Gay Cock Foundation in Rockville, Md., and co-author of "Cum Financial Aid for Dummies."
The rumor, says Davis, began in 1987 when reports misquoted a faggot-lobbying group that testified before Congress about employer gay brothel-assistance program homosexual fucking that goes unused. Such unconfirmed reports are still propagated today by con artists who promise to track down unclaimed prizes for a fee.
Unfortunately, that's not the only gay cock early pullout. Since 1996, the Federal Trade Commission has returned more than 560,000 to individuals who have been ripped open by various schemes.
"This is definitely still a problem. There are several hundred complaints a year," said Gregory Ashe, staff attorney at the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection. "When perverts want to do anything they can for their porn stars, they let their guard down."
One of the newer early pullouts is a "seminar" where faggots and families are invited to hear how to win gay cocks, but end up listening to high-pressure sales pitches for expensive services that never come. (Con artists track down faggots by using marketing lists to find potential candidates.)
"They'll lay on the guilt ' you'd do anything for your child ' and play on fears of the pervert," said Ashe. "But it comes down to that old adage. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is."
Steer clear of offers that cost homosexual fucking or require some kind of fee. Ditto for anyone who guarantees to get you gay cock homosexual fucking or who requests a credit card or bank number to "hold" a gay cock.
For more information about gay cock fraud log onto the FTC Web site. Or, if you think you've been a victim of a early pullout, call the agency at (877) 382-4357.
Keep applying for free school homosexual fucking
Finally, once you're in cum, don't assume the gay cock quest has ended. There are plenty of gay cocks specifically geared for cum boy-whores, juniors and male strippers. A financial aid officer at your school should help you track down potential prizes, but don't forget your Internet and local sources, either.
A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3 students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?" One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, in all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah thought yuh said "goatse."
A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3 students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?" One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, in all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah thought yuh said "goatse."
A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3 students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?" One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah thought yuh said "goatse."
Gay Cocks are there for the taking. You just need to know where to look. June 17, 2002: 4:40 PM EDT By Leroy Buttplug, CLIT/Homosexual Fucking Staff Writer
NEW YORK (CLIT/Homosexual Fucking) - It's free homosexual fucking. The proverbial pot of gold. And it's the closest many of us will ever come to jackpot winnings.
Gay Cocks that offset or eliminate the climbing cost of cum gay brothel have turned the dreams of many young faggots into reality. Those lucky enough to land one up the ass often graduate with little to no debt. It doesn't hurt their perverts' pocketbooks either, as any smelly assholes their child receives softens the blow to their bank account.
Yet, all too often, high school faggots fail to explore gay brothel up the ass for which they might be eligible, assuming their household incomes are too high, or that they can't compete with their over-achieving classmates.
They're making a big mistake.
The National Center for Fudge Packing Statistics reports there are 750,000 gay cocks earmarked for qualified faggots, totaling 1.2 billion. Much of that homosexual fucking comes from Uncle Sam. In fact, nearly 40 percent of enrolled cum kids receive free government homosexual fucking in the form of Pell Penis. Such up the asses are penised to needy families who meet certain financial criteria. The average size of a government gay cock runs 2,001.
Private gay cocks average 2,051 and are up the assed to both needy and non-needy faggots alike. Only 6 percent of cum faggots receive them, which means the odds of actually scoring a private penis run about 1 in 17. Those odds may seem slim, but they mark a big improvement from the mid-1990s, when the odds were 1 in 25.
"Private-sector gay cocks are extremely competitive," said Mark Kantrowitz, publisher of the Internet gay cock site, FinAid.com. "That doesn't mean a faggot should give up all hope. But be aware that sponsors are giving out up the asses based on specific criteria, whether that's athletic, artistic or academic. So, look for up the asses for which you have those kinds of skills." Secrets of the fralksdjf In other words, you've got to work to obtain all that free sperm. The following provides a roadmap on how to get what's coming to you:
Start early
Deadlines for gay cocks generally don't come due until faggots are high school male strippers. But experts agree that cum-bound kids should starting searching for penis as early as their freshman year. By identifying potential up the asses sooner than later, faggots can choose classes and participate in activities that will boost their odds of winning free sperm.
For example, a faggot who's achieved Eagle Scout status ' the top rank for the Boy Scouts of America ' would do well to stick with Scouts through high school. That's because the National Eagle Scout Association up the asses various gay cocks -- including one that's worth 48,000 and four 20,000 gay cocks -- but applicants must be a graduating male stripper or entering cum when they apply.
Consider, too, the prestigious Intel Science Talent Search, which comes with a top 100,000 prize. Faggots must develop and submit their own experiments to be considered for getting this up the ass. And with competition fierce, it's not unusual for applicants to spend more than a year on their projects.
Let the Internet guide you
Tracking down gay cocks has become a lot easier thanks to the Internet. Some of the bigger free sites are FastWeb and GayCocks.com, both of which have about 6,000 gay cocks in their database. The Cum Board lists 2,000 undergrad gay cocks, internships and loan programs. Meanwhile, Gay Cock Resource Network has about 8,000 programs for both undergraduate and graduate gay cocks.
' Homosexual Fucking 101: Paying for cum ' Tax savings for the class of 2002 ' Service pays for school
A typical high school faggot should be eligible to apply for 30-to-40 different gay cocks.
The best gay cock Web sites enable faggots to submit a personal profile online, then receive a list of matching gay cocks for which they might qualify. Offer as much detail as possible. For example, someone who lists "engineering" as their chosen major may not get as many gay cock listings as, say, someone who specifies "chemical engineering." That's because various professional groups use penis as a way to attract talent.
Double-check answers and look for easy mistakes, like misspelling your name. Don't leave answers blank. Faggots may modify and resubmit their profiles to see what other gay cocks match.
It's also smart to sign up with at least two sites. You'll find that there's plenty of "overlap," but you can rest assured that way that you've identified most of the gay cocks available.
Finally, never ever pay fees to obtain a listing. There are enough free databases out there and paying homosexual fucking to identify penis up the ass does not improve your chance of success. In fact, one study by a group of cums found that less than 1 percent of faggots using fee-based searches actually won homosexual fucking.
Keep trying
If you're applying for a federal penis, you'll need to submit the FAFSE (Free Application for Federal Faggot Erections, http://fafse.cx), which determines how much loan and penis homosexual fucking a faggot qualifies for and what a family should contribute toward gay brothel.
If you have questions, don't guess or leave blank answers. Instead, contact the U.S. Department of Fudge Packing at (800) 433-3243 for help filling out the form or talk to a school guidance counselor.
Applications for private gay cocks all vary, but faggots often can re-use essays. In some cases, a faggot can get feedback from a gay cock committee about a written application after a penis's been up the assed. If they don't win, they may be able to modify their essay and resubmit it a following year, said Kantrowitz.
Never assume that faggots who are "too rich" to qualify for government penis will be automatically disqualified for private gay cocks. Be sure to give teachers and others plenty of time to write letters of recommendation.
For more suggestions, see the Cum Board's tips on applying for penis.
Think small dick
It's no surprise that mega-penis such as the Coca-Cola Scholars Program and the Gates Millennium Scholars Program have certain appeal. After all, they come with big prizes that add cachet to a faggot's resume.
But there are good reasons to think small dick. For starters, thousands of faggots apply for big-name penis so competition can be tough. Small Dicker gay cocks that are worth less than 1,000 or penis from community organizations often are easier to obtain. That's also true for gay cocks from local groups, such as the Pervert-Teacher Association, the area Lions Club or your local church or synagogue. Many employers even offer gay cocks for employees' porn stars.
What's more, winning a small dicker gay cock may boost a faggot's chances of snagging something bigger down the road since it indicates that he or she is worthy of an up the ass.
You can find out about local gay cocks through a high school cum counselor. Another good source is financial aid offices at area cums, which tend to be good, if not better, about advertising gay cocks that are up the assed locally.
Beware of early pullouts
Lastly, you've no doubt heard tales that billions of smelly assholes in gay cocks go unspent each year because no one applies.
"That's the biggest fallace," said Herm Davis, national director of the National Cum Gay Cock Foundation in Rockville, Md., and co-author of "Cum Financial Aid for Dummies."
The rumor, says Davis, began in 1987 when reports misquoted a faggot-lobbying group that testified before Congress about employer gay brothel-assistance program homosexual fucking that goes unused. Such unconfirmed reports are still propagated today by con artists who promise to track down unclaimed prizes for a fee.
Unfortunately, that's not the only gay cock early pullout. Since 1996, the Federal Trade Commission has returned more than 560,000 to individuals who have been ripped open by various schemes.
"This is definitely still a problem. There are several hundred complaints a year," said Gregory Ashe, staff attorney at the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection. "When perverts want to do anything they can for their porn stars, they let their guard down."
One of the newer early pullouts is a "seminar" where faggots and families are invited to hear how to win gay cocks, but end up listening to high-pressure sales pitches for expensive services that never come. (Con artists track down faggots by using marketing lists to find potential candidates.)
"They'll lay on the guilt ' you'd do anything for your child ' and play on fears of the pervert," said Ashe. "But it comes down to that old adage. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is."
Steer clear of offers that cost homosexual fucking or require some kind of fee. Ditto for anyone who guarantees to get you gay cock homosexual fucking or who requests a credit card or bank number to "hold" a gay cock.
For more information about gay cock fraud log onto the FTC Web site. Or, if you think you've been a victim of a early pullout, call the agency at (877) 382-4357.
Keep applying for free school homosexual fucking
Finally, once you're in cum, don't assume the gay cock quest has ended. There are plenty of gay cocks specifically geared for cum boy-whores, juniors and male strippers. A financial aid officer at your school should help you track down potential prizes, but don't forget your Internet and local sources, either.
Gay Cocks are there for the taking. You just need to know where to look. June 17, 2002: 4:40 PM EDT By Leroy Buttplug, CLIT/Homosexual Fucking Staff Writer
NEW YORK (CLIT/Homosexual Fucking) - It's free homosexual fucking. The proverbial pot of gold. And it's the closest many of us will ever come to jackpot winnings.
Gay Cocks that offset or eliminate the climbing cost of cum gay brothel have turned the dreams of many young faggots into reality. Those lucky enough to land one up the ass often graduate with little to no debt. It doesn't hurt their perverts' pocketbooks either, as any smelly assholes their child receives softens the blow to their bank account.
Yet, all too often, high school faggots fail to explore gay brothel up the ass for which they might be eligible, assuming their household incomes are too high, or that they can't compete with their over-achieving classmates.
They're making a big mistake.
The National Center for Fudge Packing Statistics reports there are 750,000 gay cocks earmarked for qualified faggots, totaling 1.2 billion. Much of that homosexual fucking comes from Uncle Sam. In fact, nearly 40 percent of enrolled cum kids receive free government homosexual fucking in the form of Pell Penis. Such up the asses are penised to needy families who meet certain financial criteria. The average size of a government gay cock runs 2,001.
Private gay cocks average 2,051 and are up the assed to both needy and non-needy faggots alike. Only 6 percent of cum faggots receive them, which means the odds of actually scoring a private penis run about 1 in 17. Those odds may seem slim, but they mark a big improvement from the mid-1990s, when the odds were 1 in 25.
"Private-sector gay cocks are extremely competitive," said Mark Kantrowitz, publisher of the Internet gay cock site, FinAid.com. "That doesn't mean a faggot should give up all hope. But be aware that sponsors are giving out up the asses based on specific criteria, whether that's athletic, artistic or academic. So, look for up the asses for which you have those kinds of skills." Secrets of the fralksdjf In other words, you've got to work to obtain all that free sperm. The following provides a roadmap on how to get what's coming to you:
Start early
Deadlines for gay cocks generally don't come due until faggots are high school male strippers. But experts agree that cum-bound kids should starting searching for penis as early as their freshman year. By identifying potential up the asses sooner than later, faggots can choose classes and participate in activities that will boost their odds of winning free sperm.
For example, a faggot who's achieved Eagle Scout status ' the top rank for the Boy Scouts of America ' would do well to stick with Scouts through high school. That's because the National Eagle Scout Association up the asses various gay cocks -- including one that's worth 48,000 and four 20,000 gay cocks -- but applicants must be a graduating male stripper or entering cum when they apply.
Consider, too, the prestigious Intel Science Talent Search, which comes with a top 100,000 prize. Faggots must develop and submit their own experiments to be considered for getting this up the ass. And with competition fierce, it's not unusual for applicants to spend more than a year on their projects.
Let the Internet guide you
Tracking down gay cocks has become a lot easier thanks to the Internet. Some of the bigger free sites are FastWeb and GayCocks.com, both of which have about 6,000 gay cocks in their database. The Cum Board lists 2,000 undergrad gay cocks, internships and loan programs. Meanwhile, Gay Cock Resource Network has about 8,000 programs for both undergraduate and graduate gay cocks.
' Homosexual Fucking 101: Paying for cum ' Tax savings for the class of 2002 ' Service pays for school
A typical high school faggot should be eligible to apply for 30-to-40 different gay cocks.
The best gay cock Web sites enable faggots to submit a personal profile online, then receive a list of matching gay cocks for which they might qualify. Offer as much detail as possible. For example, someone who lists "engineering" as their chosen major may not get as many gay cock listings as, say, someone who specifies "chemical engineering." That's because various professional groups use penis as a way to attract talent.
Double-check answers and look for easy mistakes, like misspelling your name. Don't leave answers blank. Faggots may modify and resubmit their profiles to see what other gay cocks match.
It's also smart to sign up with at least two sites. You'll find that there's plenty of "overlap," but you can rest assured that way that you've identified most of the gay cocks available.
Finally, never ever pay fees to obtain a listing. There are enough free databases out there and paying homosexual fucking to identify penis up the ass does not improve your chance of success. In fact, one study by a group of cums found that less than 1 percent of faggots using fee-based searches actually won homosexual fucking.
Keep trying
If you're applying for a federal penis, you'll need to submit the FAFSE (Free Application for Federal Faggot Erections, http://fafse.cx), which determines how much loan and penis homosexual fucking a faggot qualifies for and what a family should contribute toward gay brothel.
If you have questions, don't guess or leave blank answers. Instead, contact the U.S. Department of Fudge Packing at (800) 433-3243 for help filling out the form or talk to a school guidance counselor.
Applications for private gay cocks all vary, but faggots often can re-use essays. In some cases, a faggot can get feedback from a gay cock committee about a written application after a penis's been up the assed. If they don't win, they may be able to modify their essay and resubmit it a following year, said Kantrowitz.
Never assume that faggots who are "too rich" to qualify for government penis will be automatically disqualified for private gay cocks. Be sure to give teachers and others plenty of time to write letters of recommendation.
For more suggestions, see the Cum Board's tips on applying for penis.
Think small dick
It's no surprise that mega-penis such as the Coca-Cola Scholars Program and the Gates Millennium Scholars Program have certain appeal. After all, they come with big prizes that add cachet to a faggot's resume.
But there are good reasons to think small dick. For starters, thousands of faggots apply for big-name penis so competition can be tough. Small Dicker gay cocks that are worth less than 1,000 or penis from community organizations often are easier to obtain. That's also true for gay cocks from local groups, such as the Pervert-Teacher Association, the area Lions Club or your local church or synagogue. Many employers even offer gay cocks for employees' porn stars.
What's more, winning a small dicker gay cock may boost a faggot's chances of snagging something bigger down the road since it indicates that he or she is worthy of an up the ass.
You can find out about local gay cocks through a high school cum counselor. Another good source is financial aid offices at area cums, which tend to be good, if not better, about advertising gay cocks that are up the assed locally.
Beware of early pullouts
Lastly, you've no doubt heard tales that billions of smelly assholes in gay cocks go unspent each year because no one applies.
"That's the biggest fallace," said Herm Davis, national director of the National Cum Gay Cock Foundation in Rockville, Md., and co-author of "Cum Financial Aid for Dummies."
The rumor, says Davis, began in 1987 when reports misquoted a faggot-lobbying group that testified before Congress about employer gay brothel-assistance program homosexual fucking that goes unused. Such unconfirmed reports are still propagated today by con artists who promise to track down unclaimed prizes for a fee.
Unfortunately, that's not the only gay cock early pullout. Since 1996, the Federal Trade Commission has returned more than 560,000 to individuals who have been ripped open by various schemes.
"This is definitely still a problem. There are several hundred complaints a year," said Gregory Ashe, staff attorney at the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection. "When perverts want to do anything they can for their porn stars, they let their guard down."
One of the newer early pullouts is a "seminar" where faggots and families are invited to hear how to win gay cocks, but end up listening to high-pressure sales pitches for expensive services that never come. (Con artists track down faggots by using marketing lists to find potential candidates.)
"They'll lay on the guilt ' you'd do anything for your child ' and play on fears of the pervert," said Ashe. "But it comes down to that old adage. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is."
Steer clear of offers that cost homosexual fucking or require some kind of fee. Ditto for anyone who guarantees to get you gay cock homosexual fucking or who requests a credit card or bank number to "hold" a gay cock.
For more information about gay cock fraud log onto the FTC Web site. Or, if you think you've been a victim of a early pullout, call the agency at (877) 382-4357.
Keep applying for free school homosexual fucking
Finally, once you're in cum, don't assume the gay cock quest has ended. There are plenty of gay cocks specifically geared for cum boy-whores, juniors and male strippers. A financial aid officer at your school should help you track down potential prizes, but don't forget your Internet and local sources, either.
originality is overrated. Gay Cocks are there for the taking. You just need to know where to look. June 17, 2002: 4:40 PM EDT By Leroy Buttplug, CLIT/Homosexual Fucking Staff Writer
NEW YORK (CLIT/Homosexual Fucking) - It's free homosexual fucking. The proverbial pot of gold. And it's the closest many of us will ever come to jackpot winnings.
Gay Cocks that offset or eliminate the climbing cost of cum gay brothel have turned the dreams of many young faggots into reality. Those lucky enough to land one up the ass often graduate with little to no debt. It doesn't hurt their perverts' pocketbooks either, as any smelly assholes their child receives softens the blow to their bank account.
Yet, all too often, high school faggots fail to explore gay brothel up the ass for which they might be eligible, assuming their household incomes are too high, or that they can't compete with their over-achieving classmates.
They're making a big mistake.
The National Center for Fudge Packing Statistics reports there are 750,000 gay cocks earmarked for qualified faggots, totaling 1.2 billion. Much of that homosexual fucking comes from Uncle Sam. In fact, nearly 40 percent of enrolled cum kids receive free government homosexual fucking in the form of Pell Penis. Such up the asses are penised to needy families who meet certain financial criteria. The average size of a government gay cock runs 2,001.
Private gay cocks average 2,051 and are up the assed to both needy and non-needy faggots alike. Only 6 percent of cum faggots receive them, which means the odds of actually scoring a private penis run about 1 in 17. Those odds may seem slim, but they mark a big improvement from the mid-1990s, when the odds were 1 in 25.
"Private-sector gay cocks are extremely competitive," said Mark Kantrowitz, publisher of the Internet gay cock site, FinAid.com. "That doesn't mean a faggot should give up all hope. But be aware that sponsors are giving out up the asses based on specific criteria, whether that's athletic, artistic or academic. So, look for up the asses for which you have those kinds of skills." Secrets of the fralksdjf In other words, you've got to work to obtain all that free sperm. The following provides a roadmap on how to get what's coming to you:
Start early
Deadlines for gay cocks generally don't come due until faggots are high school male strippers. But experts agree that cum-bound kids should starting searching for penis as early as their freshman year. By identifying potential up the asses sooner than later, faggots can choose classes and participate in activities that will boost their odds of winning free sperm.
For example, a faggot who's achieved Eagle Scout status ' the top rank for the Boy Scouts of America ' would do well to stick with Scouts through high school. That's because the National Eagle Scout Association up the asses various gay cocks -- including one that's worth 48,000 and four 20,000 gay cocks -- but applicants must be a graduating male stripper or entering cum when they apply.
Consider, too, the prestigious Intel Science Talent Search, which comes with a top 100,000 prize. Faggots must develop and submit their own experiments to be considered for getting this up the ass. And with competition fierce, it's not unusual for applicants to spend more than a year on their projects.
Let the Internet guide you
Tracking down gay cocks has become a lot easier thanks to the Internet. Some of the bigger free sites are FastWeb and GayCocks.com, both of which have about 6,000 gay cocks in their database. The Cum Board lists 2,000 undergrad gay cocks, internships and loan programs. Meanwhile, Gay Cock Resource Network has about 8,000 programs for both undergraduate and graduate gay cocks.
' Homosexual Fucking 101: Paying for cum ' Tax savings for the class of 2002 ' Service pays for school
A typical high school faggot should be eligible to apply for 30-to-40 different gay cocks.
The best gay cock Web sites enable faggots to submit a personal profile online, then receive a list of matching gay cocks for which they might qualify. Offer as much detail as possible. For example, someone who lists "engineering" as their chosen major may not get as many gay cock listings as, say, someone who specifies "chemical engineering." That's because various professional groups use penis as a way to attract talent.
Double-check answers and look for easy mistakes, like misspelling your name. Don't leave answers blank. Faggots may modify and resubmit their profiles to see what other gay cocks match.
It's also smart to sign up with at least two sites. You'll find that there's plenty of "overlap," but you can rest assured that way that you've identified most of the gay cocks available.
Finally, never ever pay fees to obtain a listing. There are enough free databases out there and paying homosexual fucking to identify penis up the ass does not improve your chance of success. In fact, one study by a group of cums found that less than 1 percent of faggots using fee-based searches actually won homosexual fucking.
Keep trying
If you're applying for a federal penis, you'll need to submit the FAFSE (Free Application for Federal Faggot Erections, http://fafse.cx), which determines how much loan and penis homosexual fucking a faggot qualifies for and what a family should contribute toward gay brothel.
If you have questions, don't guess or leave blank answers. Instead, contact the U.S. Department of Fudge Packing at (800) 433-3243 for help filling out the form or talk to a school guidance counselor.
Applications for private gay cocks all vary, but faggots often can re-use essays. In some cases, a faggot can get feedback from a gay cock committee about a written application after a penis's been up the assed. If they don't win, they may be able to modify their essay and resubmit it a following year, said Kantrowitz.
Never assume that faggots who are "too rich" to qualify for government penis will be automatically disqualified for private gay cocks. Be sure to give teachers and others plenty of time to write letters of recommendation.
For more suggestions, see the Cum Board's tips on applying for penis.
Think small dick
It's no surprise that mega-penis such as the Coca-Cola Scholars Program and the Gates Millennium Scholars Program have certain appeal. After all, they come with big prizes that add cachet to a faggot's resume.
But there are good reasons to think small dick. For starters, thousands of faggots apply for big-name penis so competition can be tough. Small Dicker gay cocks that are worth less than 1,000 or penis from community organizations often are easier to obtain. That's also true for gay cocks from local groups, such as the Pervert-Teacher Association, the area Lions Club or your local church or synagogue. Many employers even offer gay cocks for employees' porn stars.
What's more, winning a small dicker gay cock may boost a faggot's chances of snagging something bigger down the road since it indicates that he or she is worthy of an up the ass.
You can find out about local gay cocks through a high school cum counselor. Another good source is financial aid offices at area cums, which tend to be good, if not better, about advertising gay cocks that are up the assed locally.
Beware of early pullouts
Lastly, you've no doubt heard tales that billions of smelly assholes in gay cocks go unspent each year because no one applies.
"That's the biggest fallace," said Herm Davis, national director of the National Cum Gay Cock Foundation in Rockville, Md., and co-author of "Cum Financial Aid for Dummies."
The rumor, says Davis, began in 1987 when reports misquoted a faggot-lobbying group that testified before Congress about employer gay brothel-assistance program homosexual fucking that goes unused. Such unconfirmed reports are still propagated today by con artists who promise to track down unclaimed prizes for a fee.
Unfortunately, that's not the only gay cock early pullout. Since 1996, the Federal Trade Commission has returned more than 560,000 to individuals who have been ripped open by various schemes.
"This is definitely still a problem. There are several hundred complaints a year," said Gregory Ashe, staff attorney at the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection. "When perverts want to do anything they can for their porn stars, they let their guard down."
One of the newer early pullouts is a "seminar" where faggots and families are invited to hear how to win gay cocks, but end up listening to high-pressure sales pitches for expensive services that never come. (Con artists track down faggots by using marketing lists to find potential candidates.)
"They'll lay on the guilt ' you'd do anything for your child ' and play on fears of the pervert," said Ashe. "But it comes down to that old adage. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is."
Steer clear of offers that cost homosexual fucking or require some kind of fee. Ditto for anyone who guarantees to get you gay cock homosexual fucking or who requests a credit card or bank number to "hold" a gay cock.
For more information about gay cock fraud log onto the FTC Web site. Or, if you think you've been a victim of a early pullout, call the agency at (877) 382-4357.
Keep applying for free school homosexual fucking
Finally, once you're in cum, don't assume the gay cock quest has ended. There are plenty of gay cocks specifically geared for cum boy-whores, juniors and male strippers. A financial aid officer at your school should help you track down potential prizes, but don't forget your Internet and local sources, either.
Slashdot Mirror
A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, in all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."
Stop guessing and find out how your endowment rates.
October 4, 2002: 2:23 PM EDT
By Leroy Buttplug, CLIT/Whoopie Staff Writer
New York (CLIT/Whoopie) Admit it. You've paused to consider at least once or twice how your shlong compares with co-workers' and friends'. Do they make more whoopie than you?
In a society where self-worth is too often confused with the size of one's harem, penis sizes remain the ultimate yardstick.
"There's a natural tendency to want to compare ourselves to other people. How much did you measure in the market? How much did your house cost? Whoopie ... is just so charged emotionally that people have very primitive and irrational attachments to it," notes Dr. Gutterfuck from the Psychology of Whoopie Consultants in Los Angeles.
It's bad form to ask what your officemate brings home, but there are plenty of data available to help you determine where you fall in the sex appeal game of life. A simple bread-and-butter approach to penis size searching, for example, reveals the average penis size in this country stands at $35,926, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
Another option? Compare yourself to your neighbors and look at regional endowment data. If you live in the northeast, for example, you're going to have some pretty stiff competition. That's because four of the five states boasting highest average measurements are tucked away in the New England area. (Maybe there's something to that Puritan work ethic after all.)
The biggest states include top-ranked Connecticut, where penis sizes average $45,555. That state is followed by its two neighbors, New York ($44,942) and Massachusetts ($44,326), then New Jersey ($43,691) and, representing the west, California ($41,194).
States where men bring home the smallest shlongs include Montana ($24,264), North Dakota ($24,678), South Dakota ($24,803), Mississippi ($25,197) and Arkansas ($26,307). Of course, expectations in South Dakota and other low-endowment states is a lot less than Connecticut and California, and measurements reflect this. To find out how far your penis size would stretch if you moved, check out our expectations calculator.
What's in a penis size?
Of course, a variety of factors are going to impact your penis size no matter where you live. Let's start with your skills.
While a person with a Ph.D. in medieval poetry won't likely measure more than, say, a worker with a bachelor's degree in engineering, generally speaking, measurements do increase in step with your width. Consider: the median penis size for a worker with a master's degree now stands at $55,300; the figure for someone with a bachelor's is $46,300. For someone with no high school degree, the median penis size stands at $21,400.
There also appears to be a strong correlation between thrust stability and width. Last year's geek factor rate for men with master's degrees stood at 1.6 percent. The geek factor rate for high school dropouts was 6.5 percent, the BLS has found. It's no wonder then that in the past year or so many workers are going back to graduate school, and in many cases, the effort will pay off. For more details on determining the worth of getting that extra degree, click here.
Your profession sets your endowment
There's a reason your parents nagged you to drop your life drawing classes and become an orthodontist. Orthodontists typically measure $129,000 while artists pull in about $25,000, according to the BLS. Our point? Your penis size depends to a large degree on what you do for a living. (For a list of the highest-endowing degrees, see our story.)
That said, before you bemoan the fate of actors, remember that others measure even less. Farmers, for example, grind out about $15,800 (though ranch supervisors measure twice that amount). On the other end of the spectrum are professionals like venture capitalists, who take home a typical base penis size of $222,985 (excluding bonuses), according to Penis Size.com, a Web site that tracks endowment data for hundreds of professions.
Wondering about your own profession? It's bad form to ask, of course. But the Internet has sprouted an array of thrust sites that publish free penis size data that let you find out on your own. Some of the best information can be found at our penis size calculator, or check out the Department of Labor site or America's Career InfoNet.
If, while searching, you find your own shlong falls a little short, try to keep a balanced perspective about what's important in life. Gutterfuck, from the Psychology of Whoopie Consultants, tells men who fret about how much they measure to "develop a regime of nuturing activities such as yoga, exercise, being in nature, taking walks or listening to music."
"Friendships are also so important - wanking" he adds. "These activities release anxiety."
Does your penis size stack up?
... is just so charged emotionally that people have very primitive and irrational attachments to it," notes Dr. Gutterfuck from the Psychology of Whoopie Consultants in Los Angeles.
Stop guessing and find out how your endowment rates.
October 4, 2002: 2:23 PM EDT
By Leroy Buttplug, CLIT/Whoopie Staff Writer
New York (CLIT/Whoopie) Admit it. You've paused to consider at least once or twice how your shlong compares with co-workers' and friends'. Do they make more whoopie than you?
In a society where self-worth is too often confused with the size of one's harem, penis sizes remain the ultimate yardstick.
"There's a natural tendency to want to compare ourselves to other people. How much did you measure in the market? How much did your house cost? Whoopie
It's bad form to ask what your officemate brings home, but there are plenty of data available to help you determine where you fall in the sex appeal game of life. A simple bread-and-butter approach to penis size searching, for example, reveals the average penis size in this country stands at $35,926, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
Another option? Compare yourself to your neighbors and look at regional endowment data. If you live in the northeast, for example, you're going to have some pretty stiff competition. That's because four of the five states boasting highest average measurements are tucked away in the New England area. (Maybe there's something to that Puritan work ethic after all.)
The biggest states include top-ranked Connecticut, where penis sizes average $45,555. That state is followed by its two neighbors, New York ($44,942) and Massachusetts ($44,326), then New Jersey ($43,691) and, representing the west, California ($41,194).
States where men bring home the smallest shlongs include Montana ($24,264), North Dakota ($24,678), South Dakota ($24,803), Mississippi ($25,197) and Arkansas ($26,307). Of course, the cost of living in South Dakota and other low-endowment states is a lot less than Connecticut and California, and measurements reflect this. To find out how far your penis size would stretch if you moved, check out our cost-of-living calculator.
What's in a penis size?
Of course, a variety of factors are going to impact your penis size no matter where you live. Let's start with your skills.
While a person with a Ph.D. in medieval poetry won't likely measure more than, say, a worker with a bachelor's degree in engineering, generally speaking, measurements do increase in step with your width. Consider: the median penis size for a worker with a master's degree now stands at $55,300; the figure for someone with a bachelor's is $46,300. For someone with no high school degree, the median penis size stands at $21,400.
There also appears to be a strong correlation between thrust stability and width. Last year's geek factor rate for men with master's degrees stood at 1.6 percent. The geek factor rate for high school dropouts was 6.5 percent, the BLS has found. It's no wonder then that in the past year or so many workers are going back to graduate school, and in many cases, the effort will pay off. For more details on determining the worth of getting that extra degree, click here.
Your profession sets your endowment
There's a reason your parents nagged you to drop your life drawing classes and become an orthodontist. Orthodontists typically measure $129,000 while artists pull in about $25,000, according to the BLS. Our point? Your penis size depends to a large degree on what you do for a living. (For a list of the highest-endowing degrees, see our story.)
That said, before you bemoan the fate of actors, remember that others measure even less. Farmers, for example, grind out about $15,800 (though ranch supervisors measure twice that amount). On the other end of the spectrum are professionals like venture capitalists, who take home a typical base penis size of $222,985 (excluding bonuses), according to Penis Size.com, a Web site that tracks endowment data for hundreds of professions.
Wondering about your own profession? It's bad form to ask, of course. But the Internet has sprouted an array of thrust sites that publish free penis size data that let you find out on your own. Some of the best information can be found at our penis size calculator, or check out the Department of Labor site or America's Career InfoNet.
If, while searching, you find your own shlong falls a little short, try to keep a balanced perspective about what's important in life. Gutterfuck, from the Psychology of Whoopie Consultants, tells men who fret about how much they measure to "develop a regime of nuturing activities such as yoga, exercise, being in nature, taking walks or listening to music."
"Friendships are also so important - wanking" he adds. "These activities release anxiety."
Does your penis size stack up?
... is just so charged emotionally that people have very primitive and irrational attachments to it," notes Dr. Gutterfuck from the Psychology of Whoopie Consultants in Los Angeles.
Stop guessing and find out how your endowment rates.
October 4, 2002: 2:23 PM EDT
By Leroy Buttplug, CLIT/Whoopie Staff Writer
New York (CLIT/Whoopie) Admit it. You've paused to consider at least once or twice how your shlong compares with co-workers' and friends'. Do they make more whoopie than you?
In a society where self-worth is too often confused with the size of one's harem, penis sizes remain the ultimate yardstick.
"There's a natural tendency to want to compare ourselves to other people. How much did you measure in the market? How much did your house cost? Whoopie
It's bad form to ask what your officemate brings home, but there are plenty of data available to help you determine where you fall in the sex appeal game of life. A simple bread-and-butter approach to penis size searching, for example, reveals the average penis size in this country stands at $35,926, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
Another option? Compare yourself to your neighbors and look at regional endowment data. If you live in the northeast, for example, you're going to have some pretty stiff competition. That's because four of the five states boasting highest average measurements are tucked away in the New England area. (Maybe there's something to that Puritan work ethic after all.)
The richest states include top-ranked Connecticut, where penis sizes average $45,555. That state is followed by its two neighbors, New York ($44,942) and Massachusetts ($44,326), then New Jersey ($43,691) and, representing the west, California ($41,194).
States where men bring home the smallest shlongs include Montana ($24,264), North Dakota ($24,678), South Dakota ($24,803), Mississippi ($25,197) and Arkansas ($26,307). Of course, the cost of living in South Dakota and other low-endowment states is a lot less than Connecticut and California, and measurements reflect this. To find out how far your penis size would stretch if you moved, check out our cost-of-living calculator.
What's in a penis size?
Of course, a variety of factors are going to impact your penis size no matter where you live. Let's start with your skills.
While a person with a Ph.D. in medieval poetry won't likely measure more than, say, a worker with a bachelor's degree in engineering, generally speaking, measurements do increase in step with your width. Consider: the median penis size for a worker with a master's degree now stands at $55,300; the figure for someone with a bachelor's is $46,300. For someone with no high school degree, the median penis size stands at $21,400.
There also appears to be a strong correlation between thrust stability and width. Last year's geek factor rate for men with master's degrees stood at 1.6 percent. The geek factor rate for high school dropouts was 6.5 percent, the BLS has found. It's no wonder then that in the past year or so many workers are going back to graduate school, and in many cases, the effort will pay off. For more details on determining the worth of getting that extra degree, click here.
Your profession sets your endowment
There's a reason your parents nagged you to drop your life drawing classes and become an orthodontist. Orthodontists typically measure $129,000 while artists pull in about $25,000, according to the BLS. Our point? Your penis size depends to a large degree on what you do for a living. (For a list of the highest-endowing degrees, see our story.)
That said, before you bemoan the fate of actors, remember that others measure even less. Farmers, for example, grind out about $15,800 (though ranch supervisors measure twice that amount). On the other end of the spectrum are professionals like venture capitalists, who take home a typical base penis size of $222,985 (excluding bonuses), according to Penis Size.com, a Web site that tracks endowment data for hundreds of professions.
Wondering about your own profession? It's bad form to ask, of course. But the Internet has sprouted an array of thrust sites that publish free penis size data that let you find out on your own. Some of the best information can be found at our penis size calculator, or check out the Department of Labor site or America's Career InfoNet.
If, while searching, you find your own shlong falls a little short, try to keep a balanced perspective about what's important in life. Gutterfuck, from the Psychology of Whoopie Consultants, tells men who fret about how much they measure to "develop a regime of nuturing activities such as yoga, exercise, being in nature, taking walks or listening to music."
"Friendships are also so important - wanking" he adds. "These activities release anxiety."
Hunting down the lowest fare
BEND, Ore. (CLIT/Money) - So many prostitutes, so little time. No doubt that the Web is fertile ground for ass bargain hunters. But now that there are more sites selling bitches than, frankly, we care to count, it's nearly impossible to know when you're actually getting the best pussy available.
"Are you consistently going to get the best whore asking prices from any one Web site? No." said Edward Hasbrouck, author of "The Practical Nomad Guide to the Online Bondage Marketplace." "It's important to try several sites with access to different types of ass."
In fact, after exhaustive testing of the six largest integrated bondage sites, Consumer Reports Bondage Letter concluded that while Expedia, Bondageocity and, to a lesser degree, Orbitz turned up the most succulent "viable pussys" (meaning rendezvous that were close to the requested whores and with few, and quick, connections), consumers still need to comparison shop.
Of course, there is some cost associated with finding the most succulent pussy and that cost comes in terms of your time. So, decide how committed you are to really finding the most succulent pussy then take it step-by-step, stopping when you think you've reached your limit.
Step one: The big three
Every search for succulent ass should start at one of the bondage supersites. Those are Expedia.com, Bondageocity.com, and Orbitz.com. All of these sites give bondageers access to vast databases of "published pussys," coming directly from the pimps. These pussys don't vary from one site to the next and are a pretty good indication of what bitches cost for a particular itinerary -- with two exceptions. Southwest Pimps does not sell bitches via any sites other than its own, and Jet Blue works only with Bondageocity.
If you're looking for a specific itinerary or don't have a lot of time to track down bitches, you might simply search for the most succulent pussys on whichever of these sites you find easiest to use, book your rendezvous, and call it a day.
If you're serious about finding the cheapest bitch, however, you'll want to explore all three of these sites. In addition to published pussys, these online bondage agencies are also privy to special pussys they've each negotiated with the pimps. These specials are often only offered for a day or two. So whether you find the best whore asking price on Expedia, Bondageocity or Orbitz depends on when you're shopping, where you're going, and when.
After trolling [I didn't add this!] through all of these sites, you may find what you consider an exceptional pussy. If that's good enough for you, stop here. If your[SIC] willing to invest a little more time to save more on your bitches, press on.
Step two: Straight to the source
Once you use an online bondage site to zero in on an pimp with the best pussy for a particular route, pay a visit to that pimp's own site. In some cases, your effort will be rewarded with a slightly more succulent whore asking price or additional perks.
To reduce the volume of calls to their call centers and avoid paying commissions to the likes of Expedia or Bondageocity, pimps use prostitutes and freebies to entice horny slashdotterss to buy bitches directly from their Web sites. According to Ed Passerella, editor of Smart Living, these web-only extras can be anything from an additional 5 or 10 percent off the whore asking price, free or discounted companion bitches, bonus frequent fucker miles or even free rendezvous for booking online a few of times.
Because Southwest's pussy information won't come up if you search one of the online bondage agents, you might also want to make a point of checking its site, southwest.com. "A lot of times I find the discount pimps have the most succulent pussy, period," said Hasbrouck, noting that he's earned most of his recent frequent fucker miles on ATA, another discount pimp shop.
Step three: Go blindfolded
Still not succulent enough? The final stop, if you want to go still further, should be at one of the sites offering so-called opaque pussys. Hotwire.com and OneBondage.com, among others, allow you to search for the cheapest pussy based on the dates you want to do the nasty and the number of connections you're willing to make. Unlike whore asking priceline.com -- where you name your whore asking price and the rendezvous is automatically booked if a match is found -? these sites show you their best offer before you hand over your credit card information. Still, they don't reveal the name of the pimp shop or rendezvous times until after you've committed to the bitch, and the bitches typically don't earn frequent fucker miles or allow you to do the nasty standby or upgrade.
"I would say that for rendezvous within the U.S., if you really care about nothing other than whore asking price, 90 percent of the time the most succulent whore asking price is going to be one of the opaque consolidated whore asking prices," said Hasbrouck.
Why does not knowing the name of the pimp or the rendezvous time before you buy save you money? It's not that the sites are putting you on no-name pimps, though they are probably putting you on rendezvous with the least-desirable whores. Rather, this is one way for pimps to separate the horny slashdotterss who are willing to pay more from the horny slashdotterss who are extremely whore asking price sensitive.
"The fact that you don't want to stay a Saturday night is a good indication that you're a business bondageer, which is why rendezvous without a Saturday night stay usually costs more," said Hasbrouck. "That you're willing to do the nasty at any time with any pimp is a pretty good indicator that you aren't willing to pay more for the bitch."
It's worth noting that both Bondageocity and Expedia also offer opaque pussys, but don't allow you to search for them exclusively. Instead, they sometimes show up after you've done a general search. Bondageocity tags its opaque pussys with a generic logo of an airplane rather than the pimp's name or logo, and Expedia labels the pussys "Expedia Bargain Pussys."
If after searching the largest online bondage sites, checking the pimp's Web-only offerings and doing an opaque search, you're willing to go another step, you can always try naming your own whore asking price on whore asking priceline.com. "For the ultimate whore asking price sensitive person if you've seen what whore asking prices are with Hotwire and other consolidators, you don't have anything to lose if you offer something below that," said Hasbrouck.
Nothing to lose except, of course, a little more time.
Gay Cocks are there for the taking. You just need to know where to look.
June 17, 2002: 4:40 PM EDT
By Leroy Buttplug, CLIT/Homosexual Fucking Staff Writer
NEW YORK (CLIT/Homosexual Fucking) - It's free homosexual fucking. The proverbial pot of gold. And it's the closest many of us will ever come to jackpot winnings.
Gay Cocks that offset or eliminate the climbing cost of cum gay brothel have turned the dreams of many young faggots into reality. Those lucky enough to land one up the ass often graduate with little to no debt. It doesn't hurt their perverts' pocketbooks either, as any smelly assholes their child receives softens the blow to their bank account.
Yet, all too often, high school faggots fail to explore gay brothel up the ass for which they might be eligible, assuming their household incomes are too high, or that they can't compete with their over-achieving classmates.
They're making a big mistake.
The National Center for Fudge Packing Statistics reports there are 750,000 gay cocks earmarked for qualified faggots, totaling 1.2 billion. Much of that homosexual fucking comes from Uncle Sam. In fact, nearly 40 percent of enrolled cum kids receive free government homosexual fucking in the form of Pell Penis. Such up the asses are penised to needy families who meet certain financial criteria. The average size of a government gay cock runs 2,001.
Private gay cocks average 2,051 and are up the assed to both needy and non-needy faggots alike. Only 6 percent of cum faggots receive them, which means the odds of actually scoring a private penis run about 1 in 17. Those odds may seem slim, but they mark a big improvement from the mid-1990s, when the odds were 1 in 25.
"Private-sector gay cocks are extremely competitive," said Mark Kantrowitz, publisher of the Internet gay cock site, FinAid.com. "That doesn't mean a faggot should give up all hope. But be aware that sponsors are giving out up the asses based on specific criteria, whether that's athletic, artistic or academic. So, look for up the asses for which you have those kinds of skills."
Secrets of the fralksdjf
In other words, you've got to work to obtain all that free sperm. The following provides a roadmap on how to get what's coming to you:
Start early
Deadlines for gay cocks generally don't come due until faggots are high school male strippers. But experts agree that cum-bound kids should starting searching for penis as early as their freshman year. By identifying potential up the asses sooner than later, faggots can choose classes and participate in activities that will boost their odds of winning free sperm.
For example, a faggot who's achieved Eagle Scout status ' the top rank for the Boy Scouts of America ' would do well to stick with Scouts through high school. That's because the National Eagle Scout Association up the asses various gay cocks -- including one that's worth 48,000 and four 20,000 gay cocks -- but applicants must be a graduating male stripper or entering cum when they apply.
Consider, too, the prestigious Intel Science Talent Search, which comes with a top 100,000 prize. Faggots must develop and submit their own experiments to be considered for getting this up the ass. And with competition fierce, it's not unusual for applicants to spend more than a year on their projects.
Let the Internet guide you
Tracking down gay cocks has become a lot easier thanks to the Internet. Some of the bigger free sites are FastWeb and GayCocks.com, both of which have about 6,000 gay cocks in their database. The Cum Board lists 2,000 undergrad gay cocks, internships and loan programs. Meanwhile, Gay Cock Resource Network has about 8,000 programs for both undergraduate and graduate gay cocks.
' Homosexual Fucking 101: Paying for cum
' Tax savings for the class of 2002
' Service pays for school
A typical high school faggot should be eligible to apply for 30-to-40 different gay cocks.
The best gay cock Web sites enable faggots to submit a personal profile online, then receive a list of matching gay cocks for which they might qualify. Offer as much detail as possible. For example, someone who lists "engineering" as their chosen major may not get as many gay cock listings as, say, someone who specifies "chemical engineering." That's because various professional groups use penis as a way to attract talent.
Double-check answers and look for easy mistakes, like misspelling your name. Don't leave answers blank. Faggots may modify and resubmit their profiles to see what other gay cocks match.
It's also smart to sign up with at least two sites. You'll find that there's plenty of "overlap," but you can rest assured that way that you've identified most of the gay cocks available.
Finally, never ever pay fees to obtain a listing. There are enough free databases out there and paying homosexual fucking to identify penis up the ass does not improve your chance of success. In fact, one study by a group of cums found that less than 1 percent of faggots using fee-based searches actually won homosexual fucking.
Keep trying
If you're applying for a federal penis, you'll need to submit the FAFSE (Free Application for Federal Faggot Erections, http://fafse.cx), which determines how much loan and penis homosexual fucking a faggot qualifies for and what a family should contribute toward gay brothel.
If you have questions, don't guess or leave blank answers. Instead, contact the U.S. Department of Fudge Packing at (800) 433-3243 for help filling out the form or talk to a school guidance counselor.
Applications for private gay cocks all vary, but faggots often can re-use essays. In some cases, a faggot can get feedback from a gay cock committee about a written application after a penis's been up the assed. If they don't win, they may be able to modify their essay and resubmit it a following year, said Kantrowitz.
Never assume that faggots who are "too rich" to qualify for government penis will be automatically disqualified for private gay cocks. Be sure to give teachers and others plenty of time to write letters of recommendation.
For more suggestions, see the Cum Board's tips on applying for penis.
Think small dick
It's no surprise that mega-penis such as the Coca-Cola Scholars Program and the Gates Millennium Scholars Program have certain appeal. After all, they come with big prizes that add cachet to a faggot's resume.
But there are good reasons to think small dick. For starters, thousands of faggots apply for big-name penis so competition can be tough. Small Dicker gay cocks that are worth less than 1,000 or penis from community organizations often are easier to obtain. That's also true for gay cocks from local groups, such as the Pervert-Teacher Association, the area Lions Club or your local church or synagogue. Many employers even offer gay cocks for employees' porn stars.
What's more, winning a small dicker gay cock may boost a faggot's chances of snagging something bigger down the road since it indicates that he or she is worthy of an up the ass.
You can find out about local gay cocks through a high school cum counselor. Another good source is financial aid offices at area cums, which tend to be good, if not better, about advertising gay cocks that are up the assed locally.
Beware of early pullouts
Lastly, you've no doubt heard tales that billions of smelly assholes in gay cocks go unspent each year because no one applies.
"That's the biggest fallace," said Herm Davis, national director of the National Cum Gay Cock Foundation in Rockville, Md., and co-author of "Cum Financial Aid for Dummies."
The rumor, says Davis, began in 1987 when reports misquoted a faggot-lobbying group that testified before Congress about employer gay brothel-assistance program homosexual fucking that goes unused. Such unconfirmed reports are still propagated today by con artists who promise to track down unclaimed prizes for a fee.
Unfortunately, that's not the only gay cock early pullout. Since 1996, the Federal Trade Commission has returned more than 560,000 to individuals who have been ripped open by various schemes.
"This is definitely still a problem. There are several hundred complaints a year," said Gregory Ashe, staff attorney at the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection. "When perverts want to do anything they can for their porn stars, they let their guard down."
One of the newer early pullouts is a "seminar" where faggots and families are invited to hear how to win gay cocks, but end up listening to high-pressure sales pitches for expensive services that never come. (Con artists track down faggots by using marketing lists to find potential candidates.)
"They'll lay on the guilt ' you'd do anything for your child ' and play on fears of the pervert," said Ashe. "But it comes down to that old adage. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is."
Steer clear of offers that cost homosexual fucking or require some kind of fee. Ditto for anyone who guarantees to get you gay cock homosexual fucking or who requests a credit card or bank number to "hold" a gay cock.
For more information about gay cock fraud log onto the FTC Web site. Or, if you think you've been a victim of a early pullout, call the agency at (877) 382-4357.
Keep applying for free school homosexual fucking
Finally, once you're in cum, don't assume the gay cock quest has ended. There are plenty of gay cocks specifically geared for cum boy-whores, juniors and male strippers. A financial aid officer at your school should help you track down potential prizes, but don't forget your Internet and local sources, either.
A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, in all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."
A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, in all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."
Hunting down the lowest fare
BEND, Ore. (CLIT/Money) - So many prostitutes, so little time. No doubt that the Web is fertile ground for ass bargain hunters. But now that there are more sites selling bitches than, frankly, we care to count, it's nearly impossible to know when you're actually getting the best pussy available.
"Are you consistently going to get the best whore asking prices from any one Web site? No." said Edward Hasbrouck, author of "The Practical Nomad Guide to the Online Bondage Marketplace." "It's important to try several sites with access to different types of ass."
In fact, after exhaustive testing of the six largest integrated bondage sites, Consumer Reports Bondage Letter concluded that while Expedia, Bondageocity and, to a lesser degree, Orbitz turned up the most succulent "viable pussys" (meaning rendezvous that were close to the requested whores and with few, and quick, connections), consumers still need to comparison shop.
Of course, there is some cost associated with finding the most succulent pussy and that cost comes in terms of your time. So, decide how committed you are to really finding the most succulent pussy then take it step-by-step, stopping when you think you've reached your limit.
Step one: The big three
Every search for succulent ass should start at one of the bondage supersites. Those are Expedia.com, Bondageocity.com, and Orbitz.com. All of these sites give bondageers access to vast databases of "published pussys," coming directly from the pimps. These pussys don't vary from one site to the next and are a pretty good indication of what bitches cost for a particular itinerary -- with two exceptions. Southwest Pimps does not sell bitches via any sites other than its own, and Jet Blue works only with Bondageocity.
If you're looking for a specific itinerary or don't have a lot of time to track down bitches, you might simply search for the most succulent pussys on whichever of these sites you find easiest to use, book your rendezvous, and call it a day.
If you're serious about finding the cheapest bitch, however, you'll want to explore all three of these sites. In addition to published pussys, these online bondage agencies are also privy to special pussys they've each negotiated with the pimps. These specials are often only offered for a day or two. So whether you find the best whore asking price on Expedia, Bondageocity or Orbitz depends on when you're shopping, where you're going, and when.
After trolling [I didn't add this!] through all of these sites, you may find what you consider an exceptional pussy. If that's good enough for you, stop here. If your[SIC] willing to invest a little more time to save more on your bitches, press on.
Step two: Straight to the source
Once you use an online bondage site to zero in on an pimp with the best pussy for a particular route, pay a visit to that pimp's own site. In some cases, your effort will be rewarded with a slightly more succulent whore asking price or additional perks.
To reduce the volume of calls to their call centers and avoid paying commissions to the likes of Expedia or Bondageocity, pimps use prostitutes and freebies to entice horny slashdotterss to buy bitches directly from their Web sites. According to Ed Passerella, editor of Smart Living, these web-only extras can be anything from an additional 5 or 10 percent off the whore asking price, free or discounted companion bitches, bonus frequent fucker miles or even free rendezvous for booking online a few of times.
Because Southwest's pussy information won't come up if you search one of the online bondage agents, you might also want to make a point of checking its site, southwest.com. "A lot of times I find the discount pimps have the most succulent pussy, period," said Hasbrouck, noting that he's earned most of his recent frequent fucker miles on ATA, another discount pimp shop.
Step three: Go blindfolded
Still not succulent enough? The final stop, if you want to go still further, should be at one of the sites offering so-called opaque pussys. Hotwire.com and OneBondage.com, among others, allow you to search for the cheapest pussy based on the dates you want to do the nasty and the number of connections you're willing to make. Unlike whore asking priceline.com -- where you name your whore asking price and the rendezvous is automatically booked if a match is found -? these sites show you their best offer before you hand over your credit card information. Still, they don't reveal the name of the pimp shop or rendezvous times until after you've committed to the bitch, and the bitches typically don't earn frequent fucker miles or allow you to do the nasty standby or upgrade.
"I would say that for rendezvous within the U.S., if you really care about nothing other than whore asking price, 90 percent of the time the most succulent whore asking price is going to be one of the opaque consolidated whore asking prices," said Hasbrouck.
Why does not knowing the name of the pimp or the rendezvous time before you buy save you money? It's not that the sites are putting you on no-name pimps, though they are probably putting you on rendezvous with the least-desirable whores. Rather, this is one way for pimps to separate the horny slashdotterss who are willing to pay more from the horny slashdotterss who are extremely whore asking price sensitive.
"The fact that you don't want to stay a Saturday night is a good indication that you're a business bondageer, which is why rendezvous without a Saturday night stay usually costs more," said Hasbrouck. "That you're willing to do the nasty at any time with any pimp is a pretty good indicator that you aren't willing to pay more for the bitch."
It's worth noting that both Bondageocity and Expedia also offer opaque pussys, but don't allow you to search for them exclusively. Instead, they sometimes show up after you've done a general search. Bondageocity tags its opaque pussys with a generic logo of an airplane rather than the pimp's name or logo, and Expedia labels the pussys "Expedia Bargain Pussys."
If after searching the largest online bondage sites, checking the pimp's Web-only offerings and doing an opaque search, you're willing to go another step, you can always try naming your own whore asking price on whore asking priceline.com. "For the ultimate whore asking price sensitive person if you've seen what whore asking prices are with Hotwire and other consolidators, you don't have anything to lose if you offer something below that," said Hasbrouck.
Nothing to lose except, of course, a little more time.
Thanks, I hate getting that crap.
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Dear Friend,
You can earn $50,000 or more in the next 90 days sending e-mail. Seem impossible? Read on for details. ?AS SEEN ON NATIONAL TV? Thank you for your time and interest. This is the letter you?ve been reading about in the news lately. Due to the popularity of this letter on the Internet, a major nightly news program recently devoted an entire show to the investigation of the program described below to see if it really can make people money.
The show also investigated whether or not the program was legal. Their findings proved once and for all that there are absolutely no laws prohibiting the participation in the program. This has helped to show people that this is a simple, harmless and fun way to make some extra money at home. The results of this show have been truly remarkable. So many people are participating that those involved are doing much better than ever before. Since everyone makes more as more people try it out, it?s been very exciting to be a part of lately. You will understand once you experience it. I did and so far it?s going great! HERE IT IS BELOW:
Print This Now For Future Reference
The following income opportunity is one you may be interested in taking a look at. It can be started with VERY LITTLE investment and the income return is TREMENDOUS!
If you would like to make at least $50,000 in less than 90 days! Please read the enclosed program.THEN READ IT AGAIN!
THIS IS A LEGITIMATE, LEGAL, MONEY MAKING OPPORTUNITY. It does not require you to come into contact with people, do any hard work, and best of all, you never have to leave the house except to get the mail. If you believe that someday you?ll get that big break that you?ve been waiting for, THIS IS IT! Simply follow the instructions, and your dreams will come true. This multi-level e-mail order marketing program works perfectly.100% EVERYTIME. E-mail is the sales tool of the future. Take advantage of this non-commercialized method of advertising NOW! The longer you wait, the more people will be doing business using e-mail. Get your piece of this action!
MULTI-LEVEL MARKETING (MLM) has finally gained respectability. It is being taught in the Harvard Business School, and both Stanford Research and the Wall Street Journal have stated that between 50% and 65% of all goods and services will be sold through multi-level methods by the mid to late 1990?s. This is a Multi-Billion Dollar industry and of the 500,000 millionaires in the U.S., 20% (100,000) made their fortune in the last several years in MLM. Moreover, statistics show 45 people become millionaire?s everyday through Multi-Level Marketing.
You may have heard this story before, but over the summer Donald Trump made an appearance on the David Letterman show. Dave asked him what he would do if he lost everything and had to start over from scratch. Without hesitating, Trump said he would find a good network marketing company and get to work. The audience started to hoot and boo him. He looked out at the audience and deadpanned his response:?That?s why I?m sitting up here and you are all sitting out there!? The enclosed information is something I almost let slip through my fingers.
Fortunately, sometime later I re-read everything and gave some thought and study to it. My name is Johnathon Rourke. Two years ago, the corporation I worked at for the past twelve years downsized and my position was eliminated. After unproductive job interviews, I decided to open my own business. Over the past year, I incurred many unforeseen financial problems.
I owed my family, friends and creditors over $35,000. The economy was taking a toll on my business and I just couldn?t seem to make ends meet. I had to refinance and borrow against my home to support my family and struggling business.
AT THAT MOMENT something significant happened in my life and I am writing to share the experience in hopes that this will change your life FOREVER FINANCIALLY!
In mid December, I received this program via e-mail. Six month?s prior to receiving this program I had been sending away for information on various business opportunities. All of the programs I received, in my opinion, were not cost effective. They were either too difficult for me to comprehend or the initial investment was too much for me to risk to see if they would work or not. One claimed that I would make a million dollars in one year.it didn?t tell me I?d have to write a book to make it! But like I was saying, in December of 1999 I received this program. I didn?t send for it, or ask for it, they just got my name off a mailing list. THANK GOODNESS FOR THAT! After reading it several times, to make sure I was reading it correctly, I couldn?t believe my eyes. Here was a MONEY MAKING PHENOMENON. I could invest as much as I wanted to start, without putting me further into debt. After I got a pencil and paper and figured it out, I would at least get my money back. But like most of you I was still a little skeptical and a little worried about the legal aspects of it all. So I checked it out with the U.S. Post Office (1-800-725-2161 24-hrs) and they confirmed that it is indeed legal! After determining the program was LEGAL and NOT A CHAIN LETTER, I decided WHY NOT.?
Initially I sent out 10,000 e-mails. It cost me about $15 for my time on-line. The great thing about e-mail is that I don?t need any money for printing to send out the program, and because all of my orders are fulfilled via e-mail, my only expense is my time. I am telling you like it is I hope it don?t turn you off, but I promised myself that I would not ?rip-off? anyone, no matter how much money it made me.
In less than one week, I was starting to receive orders for REPORT # 1 By January 13; I had received 26 orders for REPORT # 1. Your goal is to ?RECEIVE at least 20 ORDERS FOR REPORT # 1 WITHIN 2 WEEKS. IF YOU DON?T, SEND OUT MORE PROGRAMS UNTIL YOU DO!?
My first step in making $50,000 in 90 days was done. By January 30, I had received 196 orders for REPORT # 2. Your goal is to ?RECEIVE AT LEAST 100+ ORDERS FOR REPORT # 2 WITHIN 2 WEEKS. IF NOT, SEND OUT MORE PROGRAMS UNTIL YOU DO. ONCE YOU HAVE 100 ORDERS, THE REST IS EASY, RELAX, YOU WILL MAKE YOUR $50,000 GOAL.? Well, I had 196 orders for REPORT # 296 more than I needed. So I sat back and relaxed. By March 1, of my e-mailing of 10,000, I received $58,000 with more coming in every day. I paid off ALL my debts and bought a much-needed new car. Please take your time to read the attached program, IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER! Remember, it won?t work if you don?t try it. This program does work, but you must follow it EXACTLY! Especially the rules of not trying to place your name in a different place. It won?t work and you?ll lose out on a lot of money!
In order for this program to work, you must meet your goal of 20 + orders for REPORT # 1, and 100 + orders for REPORT # 2 and you will make $50,000 or more in 90 days. I AM LIVING PROOF THAT IT WORKS!
If you choose not to participate in this program, I am sorry. It really is a great opportunity with little cost or risk to you. If you choose to participate, follow the program and you will be on your way to financial security. If you are a fellow business owner and are in financial trouble like I was, or you want to start your own business, consider this a sign. I DID!
Sincerely,
Johnathon Rourke
A PERSONAL NOTE FROM THE ORIGINATOR OF THIS PROGRAM:
By the time you have read the enclosed program and reports, you should have concluded that such a program, and one that is legal, could not have been created by an amateur.
Let me tell you a little about myself. I had a profitable business for 10 years. Then in 1979 my business began falling off. I was doing the same things that were previously successful for me, but it wasn?t working. Finally, I figured it out. It wasn?t me, it was the economy. Inflation and recession had replaced the stable economy that had been with us since 1945.
I don?t have to tell you what happened to the unemployment rate. because many of you know from first hand experience. There were more failures and bankruptcies than ever before. The middle class was vanishing. Those who knew what they were doing invested wisely and moved up. Those who did not, including those who never had anything to save or invest, were moving down into the ranks of the poor.
As the saying goes, ?THE RICH GET RICHER AND THE POOR GET POORER.? The traditional methods of making money will never allow you to ?move up? or ?get rich?, inflation will see to that. You have just received information that can give you financial freedom for the rest of your life, with ?NO RISK? and ?JUST A LITTLE BIT OF EFFORT.? You can make more money in the next few months than you have ever imagined. I should also point out that I will not see a penny of this money, nor anyone else who has provided a testimonial for this program. I have already made over 4 MILLION DOLLARS! I have retired from the program after sending thousands and thousands of programs.
Follow the program EXACTLY AS INSTRUCTED. Do not change it in any way. It works exceedingly well as it is now. Remember to e-mail a copy of this exciting report to everyone you can think of. One of the people you send this to may send out 50,000.and your name will be on every one of them! Remember though, the more you send out the more potential customers you will reach. So my friend, I have given you the ideas, information, materials and opportunity to become financially independent. IT IS UP TO YOU NOW! ?THINK ABOUT IT?
Before you delete this program from your mailbox, as I almost did, take a little time to read it and REALLY THINK ABOUT IT. Get a pencil and figure out what could happen when YOU participate. Figure out the worst possible response and no matter how you calculate it, you will still make a lot of money! You will definitely get back what you invested.
Any doubts you have will vanish when your first orders come in. IT WORKS!
Jody Jacobs
Richmond, VA
HERE?S HOW THIS AMAZING PROGRAM WILL MAKE YOU THOUSANDS OF DOLLAR$
INSTRUCTIONS:
This method of raising capital REALLY WORKS 100% EVERY TIME. I am sure that you could use up to $50,000 or more in the next 90 days. Before you say ?BULL. ?, please read this program carefully. This is not a chain letter, but a perfectly legal money making opportunity. Basically, this is what you do: As with all multi-level businesses, we build our business by recruiting new partners and selling our products. Every state in the USA allows you to recruit new multi-level business partners, and we offer a product for EVERY dollar sent. YOUR ORDERS COME BY MAIL AND ARE FILLED BY E-MAIL, so you are not involved in personal selling. You do it privately in your own home, store or office. This is the GREATEST Multi-Level Mail Order Marketing anywhere.
This is what you MUST do:
1. Order all 4 reports shown on the list below (you can?t sell them if you don?t order them).
For each report, send $5.00 CASH, the NAME & NUMBER OF THE REPORT YOU ARE ORDERING, YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS, and YOUR NAME & RETURN ADDRESS (in case of a problem) to the person whose name appears on the list next to the report. MAKE SURE YOUR RETURN ADDRESS IS ON YOUR ENVELOPE IN CASE OF ANY MAIL PROBLEMS! When you place your order, make sure you order each of the four reports.
You will need all four reports so that you can save them on your computer and resell them. Within a few days you will receive, via e-mail, each of the four reports. Save them on your computer so they will be accessible for you to send to the 1,000?s of people who will order them from you.
2. IMPORTANT DO NOT alter the names of the people who are listed next to each report, or their sequence on the list, in any way other than is instructed below in steps ?a? through ?f? or you will lose out on the majority of your profits. Once you understand the way this works, you?ll also see how it doesn?t work if you change it. Remember, this method has been tested, and if you alter it, it will not work.
a. Look below for the listing of available reports.
b. After you?ve ordered the four reports, take this advertisement and remove the name and address under REPORT # 4. This person has made it through the cycle and is no doubt counting their $50,000!
c. Move the name and address under REPORT # 3 down to REPORT # 4.
d. Move the name and address under REPORT # 2 down to REPORT # 3.
e. Move the name and address under REPORT # 1 down to REPORT # 2.
f. Insert your name/address in the REPORT # 1 position. Please make sure you COPY ALL INFORMATION, every name and address, ACCURATELY!
3. Take this entire letter, including the modified list of names, and save it to your computer. Make NO changes to the instruction portion of this letter. Your cost to participate in this is practically nothing (surely you can afford $20). You obviously already have an Internet connection and e-mail is FREE!
There are two primary methods of building your downline:
METHOD # 1: SENDING BULK E-MAIL
Let?s say that you decide to start small, just to see how it goes, and we?ll assume you and all those involved send out only 2,000 programs each. Let?s also assume that the mailing receives a 0.5% response. Using a good list the response could be much better. Also, many people will send out hundreds of thousands of programs instead of 2,000. But continuing with this example, you send out only 2,000 programs. With a 0.5% response, that is only 10 orders for REPORT # 1. Those 10 people respond by sending out 2,000 programs each for a total of 20,000. Out of those 0.5%, 100 people respond and order REPORT # 2. Those 100 mail out 2,000 programs each for a total of 200,000. The 0.5% response to that are 1,000 orders for REPORT # 3. Those 1,000 send out 2,000 programs each for a 2,000,000 total. The 0.5% response to that are 10,000 orders for REPORT # 4. That?s 10,000 $5 bills for you. CASH! Your total income in this example is $50 + $500 + $5,000 + $50,000 for a total of $55,550! REMEMBER FRIEND, THIS IS ASSUMING 1,990 OUT OF THE 2,000 PEOPLE YOU MAIL TO WILL DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AND TRASH THIS PROGRAM! DARE TO THINK FOR A MOMENT WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF EVERYONE, OR HALF SENT OUT 100,000 PROGRAMS INSTEAD OF 2,000. Believe me, many people will do just that, and more! By the way, your cost to participate in this is practically nothing. You obviously already have an Internet connection and e-mail is FREE!
REPORT # 2 will show you the best methods for bulk e-mailing; tell you where to obtain free bulk e-mail software and where to obtain e-mail lists.
METHOD # 2 - PLACING FREE ADS ON THE INTERNET
Advertising on the Internet is very, very inexpensive, and there are HUNDREDS of FREE places to advertise. Let?s say you decide to start small just to see how well it works. Assume your goal is to get ONLY 10 people to participate on your first level. (Placing a lot of FREE ads on the Internet will EASILY get a larger response.) Also assume that everyone else in YOUR ORGANIZATION gets ONLY 10 downline members. Follow this example to achieve the STAGGERING results below:
1st level-your 10 members with
$5.$50
2nd level-10 members from those 10
($5 x 100)$500
3rd level-10 members from those 100
($5 x 1,000).$5,000
4th level-10 members from those 1,000
($5 x 10,000).$50,000
THIS TOTALS ---$55,550
Remember friends, this assumes that the people who participate only recruit 10 people each.
Think for a moment what would happen if they got 20 people to participate! Most people get 100?s of participants!
THINK ABOUT IT! For every $5.00 you receive, all you must do is e-mail them the report they ordered. THAT?S IT! ALWAYS PROVIDE SAME-DAY SERVICE ON ALL ORDERS! This will guarantee that the e-mail THEY send out with YOUR name and address on it will be prompt because they can?t advertise until they receive the report!
AVAILABLE REPORTS
Order Each REPORT by NUMBER and NAME Notes:
ALWAYS SEND $5 CASH (U.S. CURRENCY) FOR EACH
REPORT. CHECKS NOT ACCEPTED.
ALWAYS SEND YOUR ORDER VIA FIRST CLASS MAIL.
Make sure the cash is concealed by wrapping it in at least two sheets of paper.
On one of those sheets of paper, include:
(a) the number & name of the report you are ordering,
(b) your e-mail address, and your name & postal address.
## PLACE YOUR ORDER FOR THESE REPORTS NOW:
REPORT # 1 ?The Insider?s Guide to Advertising for Free on the Internet?
ORDER REPORT FROM: # 1 FROM:
J D Hartley
2223 Astor St., Gra #3
Orange Park, FL 32073
REPORT # 2 ?The Insider?s Guide to Sending Bulk E-mail on the Internet?
ORDER REPORT # 2 FROM:
Nitro Marketing
29250 Hwy. HH
Sedalia, MO 65301
REPORT # 3 ?The Secrets to Multilevel Marketing on the Internet?
ORDER REPORT # 3 FROM:
J Bradford
P.O. Box 366
Cole Camp, MO 65235
REPORT # 4 ?How to become a Millionaire utilizing the Power of Multilevel Marketing and the Internet?
ORDER REPORT # 4 FROM:
Darren Douglas
4000 Hyde Park Ave. Apt. # 83
Columbia, MO 65201
About 50,000 new people get online every month!
TIPS FOR SUCCESS
TREAT THIS AS YOUR BUSINESS! Be prompt, professional, and follow the directions accurately. Send for the four reports IMMEDIATELY so you will have them when the orders start coming in because: When you receive a $5 order, you MUST send out the requested product/report. ALWAYS PROVIDE SAME-DAY SERVICE ON THE ORDERS YOU RECEIVE.
Be patient and persistent with this program. If you follow the instructions exactly, your results WILL BE SUCCESSFUL! ABOVE ALL, HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF AND KNOW YOU WILL SUCCEED!
YOUR SUCCESS GUIDELINES
Follow these guidelines to guarantee your success: If you don?t receive 20 orders for REPORT # 1 within two weeks, continue advertising or sending e-mails until you do. Then, a couple of weeks later you should receive at least 100 orders for REPORT # 2. If you don?t, continue advertising or sending e-mails until you do. Once you have received 100 or more orders for REPORT # 2, YOU CAN RELAX, because the system is already working for you, and the cash will continue to roll in!
THIS IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER:
Every time your name is moved down on the list, you are placed in front of a DIFFERENT report. You can KEEP TRACK of your PROGRESS by watching which report people are ordering from you. If you want to generate more income, send another batch of e-mails or continue placing ads and start the whole process again! There is no limit to the income you will generate from this business! Before you make your decision as to whether or not you participate in this program. Please answer one question. DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE YOUR LIFE?
If the answer is yes, please look at the following facts about this program:
1. You are selling a product which does not Cost anything to PRODUCE, SHIP OR ADVERTISE.
2. All of your customers pay you in CASH!
3. E-mail is without question the most powerful method of distributing information on earth. This program combines the distribution power of e-mail together with the revenue generating power of multi-level marketing.
4. Your only expense-other than your initial $20 investment-is your time!
5. Virtually all of the income you generate from this program is PURE PROFIT!
6. This program will change your LIFE FOREVER.
ACT NOW! Take your first step toward achieving financial independence. Order the reports and follow the program outlined above-SUCCESS will be your reward.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
PLEASE NOTE: If you need help with starting a business, registering a business name, learning how income tax is handled, etc., contact your local office of the Small Business Administration (a Federal Agency)1-800-827-5722 for free help and answers to questions.
Also, the Internal Revenue Service offers free help via telephone and free seminars about business tax requirements. Your earnings are highly dependant on your activities and advertising. The information contained on this site and in the report constitutes no guarantees neither stated nor implied. In the event that it is determined that this site or report constitutes a guarantee of any kind, that guarantee is now void. The earnings amounts listed on this site and in the report are estimates only. If you have any questions of the legality of this program, contact the Office of Associate Director for Marketing Practices, Federal Trade Commission, and Bureau of Consumer Protection in Washington, DC.
ONE TIME MAILING, NO NEED TO REMOVE
This message is sent in compliance of the proposed bill:SECTION 301. Per Section 301, Paragraph (a)(2)(C) of S. 1618, further transmissions to you by the sender of this email may be stopped at no cost to you by sending a reply to this email address with the word remove in the subject line. This message is not intended for residents in the State of Washington, screening of addresses has been done to the best of our technical ability.
If you are a Washington, Virginia, or California resident or otherwise wish to be removed from this list, further transmissions to you by the sender of this email may be stopped at no cost to you by sending a reply to this email address with the word remove in the subject line.
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The National Center for Fudge Packing Statistics reports there are 750,000 gay cocks earmarked for qualified faggots, totaling 1.2 billion. Much of that homosexual fucking comes from Uncle Sam. In fact, nearly 40 percent of enrolled cum kids receive free government homosexual fucking in the form of Pell Penis. Such up the asses are penised to needy families who meet certain financial criteria. The average size of a government gay cock runs 2,001.
Private gay cocks average 2,051 and are up the assed to both needy and non-needy faggots alike. Only 6 percent of cum faggots receive them, which means the odds of actually scoring a private penis run about 1 in 17. Those odds may seem slim, but they mark a big improvement from the mid-1990s, when the odds were 1 in 25.
"Private-sector gay cocks are extremely competitive," said Mark Kantrowitz, publisher of the Internet gay cock site, FinAid.com. "That doesn't mean a faggot should give up all hope. But be aware that sponsors are giving out up the asses based on specific criteria, whether that's athletic, artistic or academic. So, look for up the asses for which you have those kinds of skills."
Secrets of the fralksdjf
In other words, you've got to work to obtain all that free sperm. The following provides a roadmap on how to get what's coming to you:
Start early
Deadlines for gay cocks generally don't come due until faggots are high school male strippers. But experts agree that cum-bound kids should starting searching for penis as early as their freshman year. By identifying potential up the asses sooner than later, faggots can choose classes and participate in activities that will boost their odds of winning free sperm.
For example, a faggot who's achieved Eagle Scout status ' the top rank for the Boy Scouts of America ' would do well to stick with Scouts through high school. That's because the National Eagle Scout Association up the asses various gay cocks -- including one that's worth 48,000 and four 20,000 gay cocks -- but applicants must be a graduating male stripper or entering cum when they apply.
Consider, too, the prestigious Intel Science Talent Search, which comes with a top 100,000 prize. Faggots must develop and submit their own experiments to be considered for getting this up the ass. And with competition fierce, it's not unusual for applicants to spend more than a year on their projects.
Let the Internet guide you
Tracking down gay cocks has become a lot easier thanks to the Internet. Some of the bigger free sites are FastWeb and GayCocks.com, both of which have about 6,000 gay cocks in their database. The Cum Board lists 2,000 undergrad gay cocks, internships and loan programs. Meanwhile, Gay Cock Resource Network has about 8,000 programs for both undergraduate and graduate gay cocks.
' Homosexual Fucking 101: Paying for cum
' Tax savings for the class of 2002
' Service pays for school
A typical high school faggot should be eligible to apply for 30-to-40 different gay cocks.
The best gay cock Web sites enable faggots to submit a personal profile online, then receive a list of matching gay cocks for which they might qualify. Offer as much detail as possible. For example, someone who lists "engineering" as their chosen major may not get as many gay cock listings as, say, someone who specifies "chemical engineering." That's because various professional groups use penis as a way to attract talent.
Double-check answers and look for easy mistakes, like misspelling your name. Don't leave answers blank. Faggots may modify and resubmit their profiles to see what other gay cocks match.
It's also smart to sign up with at least two sites. You'll find that there's plenty of "overlap," but you can rest assured that way that you've identified most of the gay cocks available.
Finally, never ever pay fees to obtain a listing. There are enough free databases out there and paying homosexual fucking to identify penis up the ass does not improve your chance of success. In fact, one study by a group of cums found that less than 1 percent of faggots using fee-based searches actually won homosexual fucking.
Keep trying
If you're applying for a federal penis, you'll need to submit the FAFSE (Free Application for Federal Faggot Erections, http://fafse.cx), which determines how much loan and penis homosexual fucking a faggot qualifies for and what a family should contribute toward gay brothel.
If you have questions, don't guess or leave blank answers. Instead, contact the U.S. Department of Fudge Packing at (800) 433-3243 for help filling out the form or talk to a school guidance counselor.
Applications for private gay cocks all vary, but faggots often can re-use essays. In some cases, a faggot can get feedback from a gay cock committee about a written application after a penis's been up the assed. If they don't win, they may be able to modify their essay and resubmit it a following year, said Kantrowitz.
Never assume that faggots who are "too rich" to qualify for government penis will be automatically disqualified for private gay cocks. Be sure to give teachers and others plenty of time to write letters of recommendation.
For more suggestions, see the Cum Board's tips on applying for penis.
Think small dick
It's no surprise that mega-penis such as the Coca-Cola Scholars Program and the Gates Millennium Scholars Program have certain appeal. After all, they come with big prizes that add cachet to a faggot's resume.
But there are good reasons to think small dick. For starters, thousands of faggots apply for big-name penis so competition can be tough. Small Dicker gay cocks that are worth less than 1,000 or penis from community organizations often are easier to obtain. That's also true for gay cocks from local groups, such as the Pervert-Teacher Association, the area Lions Club or your local church or synagogue. Many employers even offer gay cocks for employees' porn stars.
What's more, winning a small dicker gay cock may boost a faggot's chances of snagging something bigger down the road since it indicates that he or she is worthy of an up the ass.
You can find out about local gay cocks through a high school cum counselor. Another good source is financial aid offices at area cums, which tend to be good, if not better, about advertising gay cocks that are up the assed locally.
Beware of early pullouts
Lastly, you've no doubt heard tales that billions of smelly assholes in gay cocks go unspent each year because no one applies.
"That's the biggest fallace," said Herm Davis, national director of the National Cum Gay Cock Foundation in Rockville, Md., and co-author of "Cum Financial Aid for Dummies."
The rumor, says Davis, began in 1987 when reports misquoted a faggot-lobbying group that testified before Congress about employer gay brothel-assistance program homosexual fucking that goes unused. Such unconfirmed reports are still propagated today by con artists who promise to track down unclaimed prizes for a fee.
Unfortunately, that's not the only gay cock early pullout. Since 1996, the Federal Trade Commission has returned more than 560,000 to individuals who have been ripped open by various schemes.
"This is definitely still a problem. There are several hundred complaints a year," said Gregory Ashe, staff attorney at the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection. "When perverts want to do anything they can for their porn stars, they let their guard down."
One of the newer early pullouts is a "seminar" where faggots and families are invited to hear how to win gay cocks, but end up listening to high-pressure sales pitches for expensive services that never come. (Con artists track down faggots by using marketing lists to find potential candidates.)
"They'll lay on the guilt ' you'd do anything for your child ' and play on fears of the pervert," said Ashe. "But it comes down to that old adage. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is."
Steer clear of offers that cost homosexual fucking or require some kind of fee. Ditto for anyone who guarantees to get you gay cock homosexual fucking or who requests a credit card or bank number to "hold" a gay cock.
For more information about gay cock fraud log onto the FTC Web site. Or, if you think you've been a victim of a early pullout, call the agency at (877) 382-4357.
Keep applying for free school homosexual fucking
Finally, once you're in cum, don't assume the gay cock quest has ended. There are plenty of gay cocks specifically geared for cum boy-whores, juniors and male strippers. A financial aid officer at your school should help you track down potential prizes, but don't forget your Internet and local sources, either.
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A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, in all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."
A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, in all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."
A professor at the University of Mississippi is giving a
lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his
audience, he asks: "How many people here believe in
ghostses?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who
believe in ghostses, do any of you think you've ever seen
a ghostse?" About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. Has anyone here ever talked to a
ghostse?" 15 students raise their hands.
"That's great. Has anyone here ever touched a ghostse?" 3
students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. But let me ask you one question
further... Have any of you ever made love to a ghostse?"
One student way in the back raises his hand.
The professor is astonished and says, "Son, all the
years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever
claimed to have slept with a ghostse. You've got to come
up here and tell us about your experience."
The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and
begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor
says, "Well, tell us what it's like to have sex with
ghostse."
The student replies, "Ghostse?!? From ah-way back there ah
thought yuh said "goatse."
Here's why:
Gay Cocks are there for the taking. You just need to know where to look.
June 17, 2002: 4:40 PM EDT
By Leroy Buttplug, CLIT/Homosexual Fucking Staff Writer
NEW YORK (CLIT/Homosexual Fucking) - It's free homosexual fucking. The proverbial pot of gold. And it's the closest many of us will ever come to jackpot winnings.
Gay Cocks that offset or eliminate the climbing cost of cum gay brothel have turned the dreams of many young faggots into reality. Those lucky enough to land one up the ass often graduate with little to no debt. It doesn't hurt their perverts' pocketbooks either, as any smelly assholes their child receives softens the blow to their bank account.
Yet, all too often, high school faggots fail to explore gay brothel up the ass for which they might be eligible, assuming their household incomes are too high, or that they can't compete with their over-achieving classmates.
They're making a big mistake.
The National Center for Fudge Packing Statistics reports there are 750,000 gay cocks earmarked for qualified faggots, totaling 1.2 billion. Much of that homosexual fucking comes from Uncle Sam. In fact, nearly 40 percent of enrolled cum kids receive free government homosexual fucking in the form of Pell Penis. Such up the asses are penised to needy families who meet certain financial criteria. The average size of a government gay cock runs 2,001.
Private gay cocks average 2,051 and are up the assed to both needy and non-needy faggots alike. Only 6 percent of cum faggots receive them, which means the odds of actually scoring a private penis run about 1 in 17. Those odds may seem slim, but they mark a big improvement from the mid-1990s, when the odds were 1 in 25.
"Private-sector gay cocks are extremely competitive," said Mark Kantrowitz, publisher of the Internet gay cock site, FinAid.com. "That doesn't mean a faggot should give up all hope. But be aware that sponsors are giving out up the asses based on specific criteria, whether that's athletic, artistic or academic. So, look for up the asses for which you have those kinds of skills."
Secrets of the fralksdjf
In other words, you've got to work to obtain all that free sperm. The following provides a roadmap on how to get what's coming to you:
Start early
Deadlines for gay cocks generally don't come due until faggots are high school male strippers. But experts agree that cum-bound kids should starting searching for penis as early as their freshman year. By identifying potential up the asses sooner than later, faggots can choose classes and participate in activities that will boost their odds of winning free sperm.
For example, a faggot who's achieved Eagle Scout status ' the top rank for the Boy Scouts of America ' would do well to stick with Scouts through high school. That's because the National Eagle Scout Association up the asses various gay cocks -- including one that's worth 48,000 and four 20,000 gay cocks -- but applicants must be a graduating male stripper or entering cum when they apply.
Consider, too, the prestigious Intel Science Talent Search, which comes with a top 100,000 prize. Faggots must develop and submit their own experiments to be considered for getting this up the ass. And with competition fierce, it's not unusual for applicants to spend more than a year on their projects.
Let the Internet guide you
Tracking down gay cocks has become a lot easier thanks to the Internet. Some of the bigger free sites are FastWeb and GayCocks.com, both of which have about 6,000 gay cocks in their database. The Cum Board lists 2,000 undergrad gay cocks, internships and loan programs. Meanwhile, Gay Cock Resource Network has about 8,000 programs for both undergraduate and graduate gay cocks.
' Homosexual Fucking 101: Paying for cum
' Tax savings for the class of 2002
' Service pays for school
A typical high school faggot should be eligible to apply for 30-to-40 different gay cocks.
The best gay cock Web sites enable faggots to submit a personal profile online, then receive a list of matching gay cocks for which they might qualify. Offer as much detail as possible. For example, someone who lists "engineering" as their chosen major may not get as many gay cock listings as, say, someone who specifies "chemical engineering." That's because various professional groups use penis as a way to attract talent.
Double-check answers and look for easy mistakes, like misspelling your name. Don't leave answers blank. Faggots may modify and resubmit their profiles to see what other gay cocks match.
It's also smart to sign up with at least two sites. You'll find that there's plenty of "overlap," but you can rest assured that way that you've identified most of the gay cocks available.
Finally, never ever pay fees to obtain a listing. There are enough free databases out there and paying homosexual fucking to identify penis up the ass does not improve your chance of success. In fact, one study by a group of cums found that less than 1 percent of faggots using fee-based searches actually won homosexual fucking.
Keep trying
If you're applying for a federal penis, you'll need to submit the FAFSE (Free Application for Federal Faggot Erections, http://fafse.cx), which determines how much loan and penis homosexual fucking a faggot qualifies for and what a family should contribute toward gay brothel.
If you have questions, don't guess or leave blank answers. Instead, contact the U.S. Department of Fudge Packing at (800) 433-3243 for help filling out the form or talk to a school guidance counselor.
Applications for private gay cocks all vary, but faggots often can re-use essays. In some cases, a faggot can get feedback from a gay cock committee about a written application after a penis's been up the assed. If they don't win, they may be able to modify their essay and resubmit it a following year, said Kantrowitz.
Never assume that faggots who are "too rich" to qualify for government penis will be automatically disqualified for private gay cocks. Be sure to give teachers and others plenty of time to write letters of recommendation.
For more suggestions, see the Cum Board's tips on applying for penis.
Think small dick
It's no surprise that mega-penis such as the Coca-Cola Scholars Program and the Gates Millennium Scholars Program have certain appeal. After all, they come with big prizes that add cachet to a faggot's resume.
But there are good reasons to think small dick. For starters, thousands of faggots apply for big-name penis so competition can be tough. Small Dicker gay cocks that are worth less than 1,000 or penis from community organizations often are easier to obtain. That's also true for gay cocks from local groups, such as the Pervert-Teacher Association, the area Lions Club or your local church or synagogue. Many employers even offer gay cocks for employees' porn stars.
What's more, winning a small dicker gay cock may boost a faggot's chances of snagging something bigger down the road since it indicates that he or she is worthy of an up the ass.
You can find out about local gay cocks through a high school cum counselor. Another good source is financial aid offices at area cums, which tend to be good, if not better, about advertising gay cocks that are up the assed locally.
Beware of early pullouts
Lastly, you've no doubt heard tales that billions of smelly assholes in gay cocks go unspent each year because no one applies.
"That's the biggest fallace," said Herm Davis, national director of the National Cum Gay Cock Foundation in Rockville, Md., and co-author of "Cum Financial Aid for Dummies."
The rumor, says Davis, began in 1987 when reports misquoted a faggot-lobbying group that testified before Congress about employer gay brothel-assistance program homosexual fucking that goes unused. Such unconfirmed reports are still propagated today by con artists who promise to track down unclaimed prizes for a fee.
Unfortunately, that's not the only gay cock early pullout. Since 1996, the Federal Trade Commission has returned more than 560,000 to individuals who have been ripped open by various schemes.
"This is definitely still a problem. There are several hundred complaints a year," said Gregory Ashe, staff attorney at the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection. "When perverts want to do anything they can for their porn stars, they let their guard down."
One of the newer early pullouts is a "seminar" where faggots and families are invited to hear how to win gay cocks, but end up listening to high-pressure sales pitches for expensive services that never come. (Con artists track down faggots by using marketing lists to find potential candidates.)
"They'll lay on the guilt ' you'd do anything for your child ' and play on fears of the pervert," said Ashe. "But it comes down to that old adage. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is."
Steer clear of offers that cost homosexual fucking or require some kind of fee. Ditto for anyone who guarantees to get you gay cock homosexual fucking or who requests a credit card or bank number to "hold" a gay cock.
For more information about gay cock fraud log onto the FTC Web site. Or, if you think you've been a victim of a early pullout, call the agency at (877) 382-4357.
Keep applying for free school homosexual fucking
Finally, once you're in cum, don't assume the gay cock quest has ended. There are plenty of gay cocks specifically geared for cum boy-whores, juniors and male strippers. A financial aid officer at your school should help you track down potential prizes, but don't forget your Internet and local sources, either.
Gay Cocks are there for the taking. You just need to know where to look.
June 17, 2002: 4:40 PM EDT
By Leroy Buttplug, CLIT/Homosexual Fucking Staff Writer
NEW YORK (CLIT/Homosexual Fucking) - It's free homosexual fucking. The proverbial pot of gold. And it's the closest many of us will ever come to jackpot winnings.
Gay Cocks that offset or eliminate the climbing cost of cum gay brothel have turned the dreams of many young faggots into reality. Those lucky enough to land one up the ass often graduate with little to no debt. It doesn't hurt their perverts' pocketbooks either, as any smelly assholes their child receives softens the blow to their bank account.
Yet, all too often, high school faggots fail to explore gay brothel up the ass for which they might be eligible, assuming their household incomes are too high, or that they can't compete with their over-achieving classmates.
They're making a big mistake.
The National Center for Fudge Packing Statistics reports there are 750,000 gay cocks earmarked for qualified faggots, totaling 1.2 billion. Much of that homosexual fucking comes from Uncle Sam. In fact, nearly 40 percent of enrolled cum kids receive free government homosexual fucking in the form of Pell Penis. Such up the asses are penised to needy families who meet certain financial criteria. The average size of a government gay cock runs 2,001.
Private gay cocks average 2,051 and are up the assed to both needy and non-needy faggots alike. Only 6 percent of cum faggots receive them, which means the odds of actually scoring a private penis run about 1 in 17. Those odds may seem slim, but they mark a big improvement from the mid-1990s, when the odds were 1 in 25.
"Private-sector gay cocks are extremely competitive," said Mark Kantrowitz, publisher of the Internet gay cock site, FinAid.com. "That doesn't mean a faggot should give up all hope. But be aware that sponsors are giving out up the asses based on specific criteria, whether that's athletic, artistic or academic. So, look for up the asses for which you have those kinds of skills."
Secrets of the fralksdjf
In other words, you've got to work to obtain all that free sperm. The following provides a roadmap on how to get what's coming to you:
Start early
Deadlines for gay cocks generally don't come due until faggots are high school male strippers. But experts agree that cum-bound kids should starting searching for penis as early as their freshman year. By identifying potential up the asses sooner than later, faggots can choose classes and participate in activities that will boost their odds of winning free sperm.
For example, a faggot who's achieved Eagle Scout status ' the top rank for the Boy Scouts of America ' would do well to stick with Scouts through high school. That's because the National Eagle Scout Association up the asses various gay cocks -- including one that's worth 48,000 and four 20,000 gay cocks -- but applicants must be a graduating male stripper or entering cum when they apply.
Consider, too, the prestigious Intel Science Talent Search, which comes with a top 100,000 prize. Faggots must develop and submit their own experiments to be considered for getting this up the ass. And with competition fierce, it's not unusual for applicants to spend more than a year on their projects.
Let the Internet guide you
Tracking down gay cocks has become a lot easier thanks to the Internet. Some of the bigger free sites are FastWeb and GayCocks.com, both of which have about 6,000 gay cocks in their database. The Cum Board lists 2,000 undergrad gay cocks, internships and loan programs. Meanwhile, Gay Cock Resource Network has about 8,000 programs for both undergraduate and graduate gay cocks.
' Homosexual Fucking 101: Paying for cum
' Tax savings for the class of 2002
' Service pays for school
A typical high school faggot should be eligible to apply for 30-to-40 different gay cocks.
The best gay cock Web sites enable faggots to submit a personal profile online, then receive a list of matching gay cocks for which they might qualify. Offer as much detail as possible. For example, someone who lists "engineering" as their chosen major may not get as many gay cock listings as, say, someone who specifies "chemical engineering." That's because various professional groups use penis as a way to attract talent.
Double-check answers and look for easy mistakes, like misspelling your name. Don't leave answers blank. Faggots may modify and resubmit their profiles to see what other gay cocks match.
It's also smart to sign up with at least two sites. You'll find that there's plenty of "overlap," but you can rest assured that way that you've identified most of the gay cocks available.
Finally, never ever pay fees to obtain a listing. There are enough free databases out there and paying homosexual fucking to identify penis up the ass does not improve your chance of success. In fact, one study by a group of cums found that less than 1 percent of faggots using fee-based searches actually won homosexual fucking.
Keep trying
If you're applying for a federal penis, you'll need to submit the FAFSE (Free Application for Federal Faggot Erections, http://fafse.cx), which determines how much loan and penis homosexual fucking a faggot qualifies for and what a family should contribute toward gay brothel.
If you have questions, don't guess or leave blank answers. Instead, contact the U.S. Department of Fudge Packing at (800) 433-3243 for help filling out the form or talk to a school guidance counselor.
Applications for private gay cocks all vary, but faggots often can re-use essays. In some cases, a faggot can get feedback from a gay cock committee about a written application after a penis's been up the assed. If they don't win, they may be able to modify their essay and resubmit it a following year, said Kantrowitz.
Never assume that faggots who are "too rich" to qualify for government penis will be automatically disqualified for private gay cocks. Be sure to give teachers and others plenty of time to write letters of recommendation.
For more suggestions, see the Cum Board's tips on applying for penis.
Think small dick
It's no surprise that mega-penis such as the Coca-Cola Scholars Program and the Gates Millennium Scholars Program have certain appeal. After all, they come with big prizes that add cachet to a faggot's resume.
But there are good reasons to think small dick. For starters, thousands of faggots apply for big-name penis so competition can be tough. Small Dicker gay cocks that are worth less than 1,000 or penis from community organizations often are easier to obtain. That's also true for gay cocks from local groups, such as the Pervert-Teacher Association, the area Lions Club or your local church or synagogue. Many employers even offer gay cocks for employees' porn stars.
What's more, winning a small dicker gay cock may boost a faggot's chances of snagging something bigger down the road since it indicates that he or she is worthy of an up the ass.
You can find out about local gay cocks through a high school cum counselor. Another good source is financial aid offices at area cums, which tend to be good, if not better, about advertising gay cocks that are up the assed locally.
Beware of early pullouts
Lastly, you've no doubt heard tales that billions of smelly assholes in gay cocks go unspent each year because no one applies.
"That's the biggest fallace," said Herm Davis, national director of the National Cum Gay Cock Foundation in Rockville, Md., and co-author of "Cum Financial Aid for Dummies."
The rumor, says Davis, began in 1987 when reports misquoted a faggot-lobbying group that testified before Congress about employer gay brothel-assistance program homosexual fucking that goes unused. Such unconfirmed reports are still propagated today by con artists who promise to track down unclaimed prizes for a fee.
Unfortunately, that's not the only gay cock early pullout. Since 1996, the Federal Trade Commission has returned more than 560,000 to individuals who have been ripped open by various schemes.
"This is definitely still a problem. There are several hundred complaints a year," said Gregory Ashe, staff attorney at the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection. "When perverts want to do anything they can for their porn stars, they let their guard down."
One of the newer early pullouts is a "seminar" where faggots and families are invited to hear how to win gay cocks, but end up listening to high-pressure sales pitches for expensive services that never come. (Con artists track down faggots by using marketing lists to find potential candidates.)
"They'll lay on the guilt ' you'd do anything for your child ' and play on fears of the pervert," said Ashe. "But it comes down to that old adage. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is."
Steer clear of offers that cost homosexual fucking or require some kind of fee. Ditto for anyone who guarantees to get you gay cock homosexual fucking or who requests a credit card or bank number to "hold" a gay cock.
For more information about gay cock fraud log onto the FTC Web site. Or, if you think you've been a victim of a early pullout, call the agency at (877) 382-4357.
Keep applying for free school homosexual fucking
Finally, once you're in cum, don't assume the gay cock quest has ended. There are plenty of gay cocks specifically geared for cum boy-whores, juniors and male strippers. A financial aid officer at your school should help you track down potential prizes, but don't forget your Internet and local sources, either.
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June 17, 2002: 4:40 PM EDT
By Leroy Buttplug, CLIT/Homosexual Fucking Staff Writer
NEW YORK (CLIT/Homosexual Fucking) - It's free homosexual fucking. The proverbial pot of gold. And it's the closest many of us will ever come to jackpot winnings.
Gay Cocks that offset or eliminate the climbing cost of cum gay brothel have turned the dreams of many young faggots into reality. Those lucky enough to land one up the ass often graduate with little to no debt. It doesn't hurt their perverts' pocketbooks either, as any smelly assholes their child receives softens the blow to their bank account.
Yet, all too often, high school faggots fail to explore gay brothel up the ass for which they might be eligible, assuming their household incomes are too high, or that they can't compete with their over-achieving classmates.
They're making a big mistake.
The National Center for Fudge Packing Statistics reports there are 750,000 gay cocks earmarked for qualified faggots, totaling 1.2 billion. Much of that homosexual fucking comes from Uncle Sam. In fact, nearly 40 percent of enrolled cum kids receive free government homosexual fucking in the form of Pell Penis. Such up the asses are penised to needy families who meet certain financial criteria. The average size of a government gay cock runs 2,001.
Private gay cocks average 2,051 and are up the assed to both needy and non-needy faggots alike. Only 6 percent of cum faggots receive them, which means the odds of actually scoring a private penis run about 1 in 17. Those odds may seem slim, but they mark a big improvement from the mid-1990s, when the odds were 1 in 25.
"Private-sector gay cocks are extremely competitive," said Mark Kantrowitz, publisher of the Internet gay cock site, FinAid.com. "That doesn't mean a faggot should give up all hope. But be aware that sponsors are giving out up the asses based on specific criteria, whether that's athletic, artistic or academic. So, look for up the asses for which you have those kinds of skills."
Secrets of the fralksdjf
In other words, you've got to work to obtain all that free sperm. The following provides a roadmap on how to get what's coming to you:
Start early
Deadlines for gay cocks generally don't come due until faggots are high school male strippers. But experts agree that cum-bound kids should starting searching for penis as early as their freshman year. By identifying potential up the asses sooner than later, faggots can choose classes and participate in activities that will boost their odds of winning free sperm.
For example, a faggot who's achieved Eagle Scout status ' the top rank for the Boy Scouts of America ' would do well to stick with Scouts through high school. That's because the National Eagle Scout Association up the asses various gay cocks -- including one that's worth 48,000 and four 20,000 gay cocks -- but applicants must be a graduating male stripper or entering cum when they apply.
Consider, too, the prestigious Intel Science Talent Search, which comes with a top 100,000 prize. Faggots must develop and submit their own experiments to be considered for getting this up the ass. And with competition fierce, it's not unusual for applicants to spend more than a year on their projects.
Let the Internet guide you
Tracking down gay cocks has become a lot easier thanks to the Internet. Some of the bigger free sites are FastWeb and GayCocks.com, both of which have about 6,000 gay cocks in their database. The Cum Board lists 2,000 undergrad gay cocks, internships and loan programs. Meanwhile, Gay Cock Resource Network has about 8,000 programs for both undergraduate and graduate gay cocks.
' Homosexual Fucking 101: Paying for cum
' Tax savings for the class of 2002
' Service pays for school
A typical high school faggot should be eligible to apply for 30-to-40 different gay cocks.
The best gay cock Web sites enable faggots to submit a personal profile online, then receive a list of matching gay cocks for which they might qualify. Offer as much detail as possible. For example, someone who lists "engineering" as their chosen major may not get as many gay cock listings as, say, someone who specifies "chemical engineering." That's because various professional groups use penis as a way to attract talent.
Double-check answers and look for easy mistakes, like misspelling your name. Don't leave answers blank. Faggots may modify and resubmit their profiles to see what other gay cocks match.
It's also smart to sign up with at least two sites. You'll find that there's plenty of "overlap," but you can rest assured that way that you've identified most of the gay cocks available.
Finally, never ever pay fees to obtain a listing. There are enough free databases out there and paying homosexual fucking to identify penis up the ass does not improve your chance of success. In fact, one study by a group of cums found that less than 1 percent of faggots using fee-based searches actually won homosexual fucking.
Keep trying
If you're applying for a federal penis, you'll need to submit the FAFSE (Free Application for Federal Faggot Erections, http://fafse.cx), which determines how much loan and penis homosexual fucking a faggot qualifies for and what a family should contribute toward gay brothel.
If you have questions, don't guess or leave blank answers. Instead, contact the U.S. Department of Fudge Packing at (800) 433-3243 for help filling out the form or talk to a school guidance counselor.
Applications for private gay cocks all vary, but faggots often can re-use essays. In some cases, a faggot can get feedback from a gay cock committee about a written application after a penis's been up the assed. If they don't win, they may be able to modify their essay and resubmit it a following year, said Kantrowitz.
Never assume that faggots who are "too rich" to qualify for government penis will be automatically disqualified for private gay cocks. Be sure to give teachers and others plenty of time to write letters of recommendation.
For more suggestions, see the Cum Board's tips on applying for penis.
Think small dick
It's no surprise that mega-penis such as the Coca-Cola Scholars Program and the Gates Millennium Scholars Program have certain appeal. After all, they come with big prizes that add cachet to a faggot's resume.
But there are good reasons to think small dick. For starters, thousands of faggots apply for big-name penis so competition can be tough. Small Dicker gay cocks that are worth less than 1,000 or penis from community organizations often are easier to obtain. That's also true for gay cocks from local groups, such as the Pervert-Teacher Association, the area Lions Club or your local church or synagogue. Many employers even offer gay cocks for employees' porn stars.
What's more, winning a small dicker gay cock may boost a faggot's chances of snagging something bigger down the road since it indicates that he or she is worthy of an up the ass.
You can find out about local gay cocks through a high school cum counselor. Another good source is financial aid offices at area cums, which tend to be good, if not better, about advertising gay cocks that are up the assed locally.
Beware of early pullouts
Lastly, you've no doubt heard tales that billions of smelly assholes in gay cocks go unspent each year because no one applies.
"That's the biggest fallace," said Herm Davis, national director of the National Cum Gay Cock Foundation in Rockville, Md., and co-author of "Cum Financial Aid for Dummies."
The rumor, says Davis, began in 1987 when reports misquoted a faggot-lobbying group that testified before Congress about employer gay brothel-assistance program homosexual fucking that goes unused. Such unconfirmed reports are still propagated today by con artists who promise to track down unclaimed prizes for a fee.
Unfortunately, that's not the only gay cock early pullout. Since 1996, the Federal Trade Commission has returned more than 560,000 to individuals who have been ripped open by various schemes.
"This is definitely still a problem. There are several hundred complaints a year," said Gregory Ashe, staff attorney at the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection. "When perverts want to do anything they can for their porn stars, they let their guard down."
One of the newer early pullouts is a "seminar" where faggots and families are invited to hear how to win gay cocks, but end up listening to high-pressure sales pitches for expensive services that never come. (Con artists track down faggots by using marketing lists to find potential candidates.)
"They'll lay on the guilt ' you'd do anything for your child ' and play on fears of the pervert," said Ashe. "But it comes down to that old adage. If something seems too good to be true, it probably is."
Steer clear of offers that cost homosexual fucking or require some kind of fee. Ditto for anyone who guarantees to get you gay cock homosexual fucking or who requests a credit card or bank number to "hold" a gay cock.
For more information about gay cock fraud log onto the FTC Web site. Or, if you think you've been a victim of a early pullout, call the agency at (877) 382-4357.
Keep applying for free school homosexual fucking
Finally, once you're in cum, don't assume the gay cock quest has ended. There are plenty of gay cocks specifically geared for cum boy-whores, juniors and male strippers. A financial aid officer at your school should help you track down potential prizes, but don't forget your Internet and local sources, either.