Strawman. The OP said "strap Frodo onto the back of a giant eagle..."
Nope, no strawman.
"A" eagle. One. Not "A flock of HUGE FUCKING EAGLE"s.
Haha, well it would certainly take more than just one single eagle to fly all the way through Mordor, by Sauron's tower, and plop a ring inside a mountain.
A few things-
1) They were planning to use the 'front door'- the Black Gate.
But they didn't.
2) "Two little Hobbits..." run a much greater risk of getting randomly offed by a couple of Orcs.
While a HUGE FUCKING EAGLE stands to be shot down by a couple of archers, a single Nazghul...hell, Sauron could have just sent some flying fireballs its way. Plus, he would have known where the ring was. The risk was too great.
Fine. Then have Gandalf plop Frodo on the back of Shadowfax and they can gallop to Mordor. Or one of a hundred other plans that would bring them to Mordor much faster than the MONTHS it took them.
How could Gandalf do that when he died fighting the Balrog in Moria? He was nowhere near Frodo by the time he returned. Next.
Hell, why not have the Eagle fly PAST Mordor to the East, and Frodo can enter Mordor from the East, instead of the west. Or the south.
Because there were no other ways into Mordor, dumbass. It's surrounded by tall mountain ranges.
In the books, it's mentioned that Hobbits are known for stone-throwing. With that in mind, I can accept the fact that they can target Orcs in the right spot on the head with enough force to knock them down. It's not like the Orcs are shown going unconscious...they probably just got right back up again and kept charging. Peter Jackson actually mentioned the stone-throwing of Hobbits being in the books, so that's where that comes from.
Every single one of the things you complain about can have cinematic justifications to give the story more impact.
# Cheap thrills. For example, in Moria, when all the orcs surround them, and then run away. It's just stupid, it doesn't make any sense.
It's tension. They're completely surrounded and about to die, then suddenly, all the Orcs run away, signalling something MUCH more evil and powerful approaching that even they fear. It's just some nice tension to give the appearance of the Balrog more impact. You find it "cheesy" because you're a book purist.
# Cheap action-flick fight scenes. So, there's nine people standing on a narrow staircase out in the middle of nowhere, with thousands of orcs shooting at them, and they all miss. Legolas is shooting at orcs spread out, behind shadows and in cover, and hits every one. Now, orcs aren't as good as elves, but they're not *that* bad.
There weren't "thousands" of Orcs. Looked like a few dozen. Why wouldn't they be poor archers? They're just a bunch of Moria orcs trying to hit some little targets on a distant bridge. Of course Legolas would hit some (it's not shown whether he hits every one), because he's a skilled Elf bowman. You don't like it because you're a book purist.
# Cheesy dramatic scenes. Frodo gets hurt, and all the action stops. Gandalf "dies", and all the action stops. Boromir dies three or four times.
Oh, stop. Borimier dies once. The action stops to give the scenes more impact. My brother who hadn't read the Fellowship, freaked out when Gandalf fell. "I didn't know he died!" In fact, these movies use slow-motion way more tastefully than the two Matrix movies. It gives the death scenes a sense of surrealism.
All in all, you're just a book purist who didn't like the fact that these are movies and have to behave like movies.
How about the fact that not only does the movie smash the barrier for being the biggest, most epic capper to a trilogy of films ever made, but it plays to all the themes Oscar-voters love, like friendship, betrayal, self-control...the list goes on and on...
It's got all the high-art, surreal scenes...it's got the incredible action scenes...it's got major character drama...I mean, it's really emotionally overwhelming in the way it just seems to have everything.
But I guess I'm arguing for Best Picture here. Obviously he should win Best Director, because this was a huge directing task, and the directing is excellent, from the battle scenes to the quieter moments. Every shot is a money shot.
People always bring this up. I don't know why it's so hard to figure out.
The standard answer everyone gives is that the Eaglers weren't so concerned with the world of Men, but that answer never flew for me (pardon the pun), because there was more obvious logic to turn to.
Which is more discreet? A flock of HUGE FUCKING EAGLES, or two little Hobbits sneaking into Mordor and dumping it into Mount Doom?
I don't get why people don't think it through. The first thing Sauron would do if a bunch of HUGE FUCKING EAGLES came flying over the borders of Mordor is just send flying Nazghul after them, and probably also strike them down with flaming lava or wind or something. Plus, Sauron would immediately know where the Ring was, what they're trying to do with it, etc. All plans would instantly be revealed before they even really entered Mordor (he'd immediately see a flock of HUGE FUCKING EAGLES coming from Gondor, no doubt).
Meanwhile, two little Hobbits--a little unimportant, insignificant race completely out of Sauron's mind and most everyone else's in Middle-Earth--sneaks into Morder essentially through a backdoor and actually climbs Mount Doom as Sauron's gaze is distracted by Gondor forces.
Having HUGE FUCKING EAGLES flying it there is an incredibly stupid idea. What makes the Hobbit idea great is that it's incredibly stupid, but so stupid that it's out of Sauron's mind, which makes it the best plan of action (what other choice was there?). That's why the story works so well, and how Sam and Frodo actually made it. Nobody even considers or regards Hobbits. They're not an essential race at all in the mythology of Middle-Earth. Orcs and other baddies don't even really care all that much about them, so they're constantly underestimated. Middle-Earth is so concerned with the main controlling races of Men and Orcs and Sauron and Elves, that out of the blue, a couple of creatures of one of the lesser races from some goofy, ignorant place called the Shire sneaks in and drops the ring in the mountain.
The Eagles only come flying in after the Ring is destroyed, and it's safe for them to.
So, no, HUGE FUCKING EAGLES flying in doesn't even work logically.
Frodo comes from a line of out-of-the-ordinary, adventurous Hobbits, although this is not covered in the movies at all. One might also say it's a testament to his character and spirit that he wasn't so easily corrupted as the weaker Smeagol. Even Bilbo allowed himself to be corrupted.
Of course, at the end, the ring overtakes Frodo anyway.
"I'm going to go against the grain and NOT make this an 'I told ya so' MS-bash."
Good, because this article is just speculation from an outside analyst. The only facts we know are that it's just an organizational restructure in Microsoft. Big deal.
Fix your drivers then. Your one, lone experience is contrary to the majority.
I have been running an XP machine at work since last May. I only rebooted last time to apply patches. I'll probably apply some more soon, but I'm behind a firewall so it's not a major concern.
P.S. I can make Linux desktops crash laughingly easily. I still remember trying Red Hat Linux 9, when GNOME's taskbar got stuck on the mouse cursor no matter what I tried, and the keyboard stopped working. Off went that distro.
Didn't some hacker steal some code from Microsoft a while back?
No.
Unless you mean that security breach way back in October of 2000 that never went anywhere. Compared to GNU/FSF, GNOME, Debian, and Gentoo, that's a pretty good track record.
Those of us who were ACTUALLY AROUND in the 70s know what the parent post was talking about. You're just deciding the 70s had more gold, because it's 2003 and you can look back on it and name all the good bands. Meanwhile, there were tons of top ten, disco-pop bullshit acts.
Today, we have bands that you list as bad which many people consider good--Green Day, Good Charlotte, not to mention everyone from The Strokes to Opeth to Metallica to Foo Fighters to A Perfect Circle to...well, hell, I'm just listing off certain bands I listen to. There is so much more. Maybe it's not the entire freaking music industry with tastes that are different, but just you instead?
If people didn't pirate the fuck out of every new album, maybe labels would be more willing to shell out money on the riskier acts. As it is, it's too expensive to expect a return on your investment when you know that if it turns out good enough, half of its sales will be robbed to convenient online piracy.
I.e., one that installs and removes programs correctly, doesn't crash (GNOME's taskbar got stuck on me once, and I had to kill X), has non-conflicting interfaces, and generally has actual usability and feels like a smooth and integrated desktop.
Of course, if you want that, just go to OS X, since you've got UNIX with a prized GUI right there already.
Because he did use them, and he hid them when we threatened to invade.
Next.
Let the knee-jerk, left-wing responses begin!
on
Saddam Hussein Arrested
·
· Score: 3, Insightful
Time for everyone to yimmer and yammer about the non-importance of Saddam's capture. Point out how Iraqi resistance won't stop, how Osama is still out there, how Bush is evil, how Ashcroft has somehow "taken your rights," and generally behave like your average Kuro5hin reader (when did that site become so left-wing? I remember when I used to go there for the cool technology articles Slashdot wouldn't post).
I'm not affiliated with either the "left" or the "right" (Bill Hicks described political parties as two puppets being held up by the same guy). But all the anti-Bush stuff really makes me laugh sometimes. We get people like Michael Moore who literally make up facts just to bash Bush, and it hurts the cause. The foaming, Bush-hating liberal becomes a stereotype, and I just know they'll have a field day trying to downplay the capture of Saddam come election time (I just have to ask...would you rather he still be in power, or in prison?)
I'm sure I'll get modded down for this, but if you're not a knee-jerk, radical, left-wing person, I'm not referring to you anyway!:) So relax. Just giving my opinion.
Slashdot Mirror
Strawman. The OP said "strap Frodo onto the back of a giant eagle..."
Nope, no strawman.
"A" eagle. One. Not "A flock of HUGE FUCKING EAGLE"s.
Haha, well it would certainly take more than just one single eagle to fly all the way through Mordor, by Sauron's tower, and plop a ring inside a mountain.
A few things-
1) They were planning to use the 'front door'- the Black Gate.
But they didn't.
2) "Two little Hobbits..." run a much greater risk of getting randomly offed by a couple of Orcs.
While a HUGE FUCKING EAGLE stands to be shot down by a couple of archers, a single Nazghul...hell, Sauron could have just sent some flying fireballs its way. Plus, he would have known where the ring was. The risk was too great.
Fine. Then have Gandalf plop Frodo on the back of Shadowfax and they can gallop to Mordor. Or one of a hundred other plans that would bring them to Mordor much faster than the MONTHS it took them.
How could Gandalf do that when he died fighting the Balrog in Moria? He was nowhere near Frodo by the time he returned. Next.
Hell, why not have the Eagle fly PAST Mordor to the East, and Frodo can enter Mordor from the East, instead of the west. Or the south.
Because there were no other ways into Mordor, dumbass. It's surrounded by tall mountain ranges.
In the books, it's mentioned that Hobbits are known for stone-throwing. With that in mind, I can accept the fact that they can target Orcs in the right spot on the head with enough force to knock them down. It's not like the Orcs are shown going unconscious...they probably just got right back up again and kept charging. Peter Jackson actually mentioned the stone-throwing of Hobbits being in the books, so that's where that comes from.
I was waiting for the inevitable, "In the book, it says..."
These aren't the books. In the movie, Denethor is a prick.
Every single one of the things you complain about can have cinematic justifications to give the story more impact.
# Cheap thrills. For example, in Moria, when all the orcs surround them, and then run away. It's just stupid, it doesn't make any sense.
It's tension. They're completely surrounded and about to die, then suddenly, all the Orcs run away, signalling something MUCH more evil and powerful approaching that even they fear. It's just some nice tension to give the appearance of the Balrog more impact. You find it "cheesy" because you're a book purist.
# Cheap action-flick fight scenes. So, there's nine people standing on a narrow staircase out in the middle of nowhere, with thousands of orcs shooting at them, and they all miss. Legolas is shooting at orcs spread out, behind shadows and in cover, and hits every one. Now, orcs aren't as good as elves, but they're not *that* bad.
There weren't "thousands" of Orcs. Looked like a few dozen. Why wouldn't they be poor archers? They're just a bunch of Moria orcs trying to hit some little targets on a distant bridge. Of course Legolas would hit some (it's not shown whether he hits every one), because he's a skilled Elf bowman. You don't like it because you're a book purist.
# Cheesy dramatic scenes. Frodo gets hurt, and all the action stops. Gandalf "dies", and all the action stops. Boromir dies three or four times.
Oh, stop. Borimier dies once. The action stops to give the scenes more impact. My brother who hadn't read the Fellowship, freaked out when Gandalf fell. "I didn't know he died!" In fact, these movies use slow-motion way more tastefully than the two Matrix movies. It gives the death scenes a sense of surrealism.
All in all, you're just a book purist who didn't like the fact that these are movies and have to behave like movies.
How about the fact that not only does the movie smash the barrier for being the biggest, most epic capper to a trilogy of films ever made, but it plays to all the themes Oscar-voters love, like friendship, betrayal, self-control...the list goes on and on...
It's got all the high-art, surreal scenes...it's got the incredible action scenes...it's got major character drama...I mean, it's really emotionally overwhelming in the way it just seems to have everything.
But I guess I'm arguing for Best Picture here. Obviously he should win Best Director, because this was a huge directing task, and the directing is excellent, from the battle scenes to the quieter moments. Every shot is a money shot.
I notice people asking about who commands the Eagles, where Trolls came from, and so on.
Just go here: Encyclopedia of Arda
People always bring this up. I don't know why it's so hard to figure out.
The standard answer everyone gives is that the Eaglers weren't so concerned with the world of Men, but that answer never flew for me (pardon the pun), because there was more obvious logic to turn to.
Which is more discreet? A flock of HUGE FUCKING EAGLES, or two little Hobbits sneaking into Mordor and dumping it into Mount Doom?
I don't get why people don't think it through. The first thing Sauron would do if a bunch of HUGE FUCKING EAGLES came flying over the borders of Mordor is just send flying Nazghul after them, and probably also strike them down with flaming lava or wind or something. Plus, Sauron would immediately know where the Ring was, what they're trying to do with it, etc. All plans would instantly be revealed before they even really entered Mordor (he'd immediately see a flock of HUGE FUCKING EAGLES coming from Gondor, no doubt).
Meanwhile, two little Hobbits--a little unimportant, insignificant race completely out of Sauron's mind and most everyone else's in Middle-Earth--sneaks into Morder essentially through a backdoor and actually climbs Mount Doom as Sauron's gaze is distracted by Gondor forces.
Having HUGE FUCKING EAGLES flying it there is an incredibly stupid idea. What makes the Hobbit idea great is that it's incredibly stupid, but so stupid that it's out of Sauron's mind, which makes it the best plan of action (what other choice was there?). That's why the story works so well, and how Sam and Frodo actually made it. Nobody even considers or regards Hobbits. They're not an essential race at all in the mythology of Middle-Earth. Orcs and other baddies don't even really care all that much about them, so they're constantly underestimated. Middle-Earth is so concerned with the main controlling races of Men and Orcs and Sauron and Elves, that out of the blue, a couple of creatures of one of the lesser races from some goofy, ignorant place called the Shire sneaks in and drops the ring in the mountain.
The Eagles only come flying in after the Ring is destroyed, and it's safe for them to.
So, no, HUGE FUCKING EAGLES flying in doesn't even work logically.
Frodo comes from a line of out-of-the-ordinary, adventurous Hobbits, although this is not covered in the movies at all. One might also say it's a testament to his character and spirit that he wasn't so easily corrupted as the weaker Smeagol. Even Bilbo allowed himself to be corrupted.
Of course, at the end, the ring overtakes Frodo anyway.
Wow, you accept legal definitions when it comes to cable theft, but not MP3 downloading. What a surprise.
"I'm going to go against the grain and NOT make this an 'I told ya so' MS-bash."
Good, because this article is just speculation from an outside analyst. The only facts we know are that it's just an organizational restructure in Microsoft. Big deal.
Windows has the weight of legacy? What about XFree86? I've never seen so many computer users afraid of change like X users.
Fix your drivers then. Your one, lone experience is contrary to the majority.
I have been running an XP machine at work since last May. I only rebooted last time to apply patches. I'll probably apply some more soon, but I'm behind a firewall so it's not a major concern.
P.S. I can make Linux desktops crash laughingly easily. I still remember trying Red Hat Linux 9, when GNOME's taskbar got stuck on the mouse cursor no matter what I tried, and the keyboard stopped working. Off went that distro.
Just like OSS.
Yes, they do. It's called KDE or GNOME. You're deluding yourself if you believe otherwise.
I laughed when I first saw GNOME's "Start button," but with a Foot icon, all those years ago.
Didn't some hacker steal some code from Microsoft a while back?
No.
Unless you mean that security breach way back in October of 2000 that never went anywhere. Compared to GNU/FSF, GNOME, Debian, and Gentoo, that's a pretty good track record.
Because Slashdot wanted to post an article entitled, "Microsoft's New Core OS Team Learning from Linux." Facts don't matter.
Nonetheless, it's a highly influential website. To ignore that fact is immoral.
It's not shocking at all that you're 16.
Those of us who were ACTUALLY AROUND in the 70s know what the parent post was talking about. You're just deciding the 70s had more gold, because it's 2003 and you can look back on it and name all the good bands. Meanwhile, there were tons of top ten, disco-pop bullshit acts.
Today, we have bands that you list as bad which many people consider good--Green Day, Good Charlotte, not to mention everyone from The Strokes to Opeth to Metallica to Foo Fighters to A Perfect Circle to...well, hell, I'm just listing off certain bands I listen to. There is so much more. Maybe it's not the entire freaking music industry with tastes that are different, but just you instead?
If people didn't pirate the fuck out of every new album, maybe labels would be more willing to shell out money on the riskier acts. As it is, it's too expensive to expect a return on your investment when you know that if it turns out good enough, half of its sales will be robbed to convenient online piracy.
Sorry, kid, there's no justification.
That's why they make singles, dumbass.
Hello? Personalized Menus in Windows. Also, XP's Start Menu has all your frequently used programs listed on the left.
No, it's intellectual property people often descramble to watch for free.
MP3s are intellectual property people often download to listen to for free.
No difference, except in the ways they're labelled.
A desktop usable by normal people.
I.e., one that installs and removes programs correctly, doesn't crash (GNOME's taskbar got stuck on me once, and I had to kill X), has non-conflicting interfaces, and generally has actual usability and feels like a smooth and integrated desktop.
Of course, if you want that, just go to OS X, since you've got UNIX with a prized GUI right there already.
Because he did use them, and he hid them when we threatened to invade.
Next.
Time for everyone to yimmer and yammer about the non-importance of Saddam's capture. Point out how Iraqi resistance won't stop, how Osama is still out there, how Bush is evil, how Ashcroft has somehow "taken your rights," and generally behave like your average Kuro5hin reader (when did that site become so left-wing? I remember when I used to go there for the cool technology articles Slashdot wouldn't post).
:) So relax. Just giving my opinion.
I'm not affiliated with either the "left" or the "right" (Bill Hicks described political parties as two puppets being held up by the same guy). But all the anti-Bush stuff really makes me laugh sometimes. We get people like Michael Moore who literally make up facts just to bash Bush, and it hurts the cause. The foaming, Bush-hating liberal becomes a stereotype, and I just know they'll have a field day trying to downplay the capture of Saddam come election time (I just have to ask...would you rather he still be in power, or in prison?)
I'm sure I'll get modded down for this, but if you're not a knee-jerk, radical, left-wing person, I'm not referring to you anyway!
Which is posted in every single LOTR article, more than once in each.