Fans of tired old gaming conventions, rejoice! After nearly 200 issues of gaming goodness, we've noticed that the more things change, the more they stay the same. This month, we're talking big heads, big breasts, and big explosive barrels--oh my!--in our roundup of the the most tired gaming clichés (and even listing some surprise offenders). As always, bring your complaints to the EGM message boards.
1 Big-head mode
It was only slightly funny the first time in the arcade baller NBA Jam, and it's gotten progressively less funny every single time a sports game gives you a giant melon.
Even seen in: EA Sports Fight Night 2004 (PS2/XB/GC)
2 Hero's town gets destroyed
Signs it might be time to move: neighbor's kid starts messing around with swords and magic, elite paramilitary group starts harassing local residents, unusual frequency of earthquakes and/or eclipses. If you notice any of these things happening, call your realtor. A role-playing game is starting and your property value is about to go way down.
Even seen in: Final Fantasy X (PS2)
3 Unnecessary stealth
If you want to make a stealth game, then make a stealth game. Don't give us guns and bombs and swords and fast cars and explosions and then tell us to be quiet, just for a bit! If we want to sneak around, then we'll play a game that's designed for doing just that. In your game, we shall blow stuff up.
Even seen in: Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PS2/XB), The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker (GC)
4 Predictable boss fights
Boss battles ought to be the most unique, thrilling, and unpredictable encounters in a game, but lately it seems like everyone's working from the same template. The boss will fight in multiple forms, exposing his obvious (and oftentimes highlighted) weak point for you to whale on until his multilayered health bar reaches zero.
Even seen in: Metroid Prime 2: Echoes (GC)
5 Out-of-place puzzles
Imagine if every time you wanted to go down into your basement, you had to wait for a full moon, procure a statue made of precious jewels, solve a ninth-grade logic puzzle, and then push a heavy bookshelf so that it's exactly perpendicular to your couch. All you wanted was your baseball glove, sheesh.
Even seen in: Resident Evil 4 (GC)
6 Collecting
This necessary evil has been around since most of us first picked up a controller, but now that our tastes have been refined, we really don't need to find and collect all 100 magical whatzits to open the red door. This concept is only tolerable if it's used as a means to an end (Super Mario Sunshine's shine sprites) instead of the end itself (Sunshine's blue coins).
Even seen in: Psychonauts (PS2/XB)
7 Ridiculous portrayals of females
Women have breasts. Get over it.
Even seen in: Soul Calibur II (PS2/XB/GC)
8 Bullet time
It was cool in 1999. Used properly, bullet time (or being able to manually slow down the gameplay, in general) can still be cool today. But you know something? It doesn't have to be in every game. Really, it doesn't.
Even seen in: Midnight Club 3: DUB Edition (PS2/XB), Prince of Persia: Warrior Within (PS2/XB/GC)
9 Pushing crates
Note to evil masterminds everywhere: We understand that you're trying to run a business, which involves receiving equipment and food somehow. But leaving those giant crates just lying around your warehouse for any one-man army to use for supplies and climbing? It's no wonder most startup criminal organizations fail within the first five years.
Even seen in: God of War (PS2)
10 Exploding barrels
Again, a little warehouse management can go a long way. You work in a field that's prone to random assaults and frequent gunfire, yet you spot your adversaries some free bombs in strategic locations. Some of you even tell your henchmen to hide behind them for cover. And if you survive Johnny Rambo's attempt to take you down, good luck getting hazard pay.
Even seen in: Doom 3 (XB), Halo 2 (XB)
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Hey i completely agree with you. Having to hit "scan" every 5 seconds while driving down the road isn't too easy. A continuously scanning thing shouldn't be that much to ask. And a memory stick pro duo gps receiver.... Wow that would be cool.
And how is this different from putting mp3s on a portable mp3 player? yes you have an audio out obviously, but maybe some people don't like lugging a laptop around with them to listen to music or watch a movie.
But if they make it too easy to do, won't the creators of the pirated games shy away from developing on the PSP platform? What if the developers try to sue Sony? It seems like if a bank left the vault door open and got robbed, the customers should be able to be reimbursed...
Public high schools base their education too much on the standardized tests. They teach the students only what they need to know to score well on the tests and therefore make the school look "good".
Hell, I'm a freshman in high school this year and I've cheated on every Spanish test but the first one. The retarded teacher leaves all of the tests in a big stack on his desk the day before the test. Well, I manage to walk out with a test and get all of the answers in size 4 font...
Profit...
Slashdot Mirror
Along the same lines, I always wondered how much power could be harnessed from the 40 year old women at the gym on those bikes...
as opposed to those wonderfully lethal games of lightning tag?
People advertise nonlethal weapons as safer, compared to lethal weapons.
no comment necessary...
i guess the psp does... offtopic
Same hear.
ya i was being rushed...
Fans of tired old gaming conventions, rejoice! After nearly 200 issues of gaming goodness, we've noticed that the more things change, the more they stay the same. This month, we're talking big heads, big breasts, and big explosive barrels--oh my!--in our roundup of the the most tired gaming clichés (and even listing some surprise offenders). As always, bring your complaints to the EGM message boards. 1 Big-head mode It was only slightly funny the first time in the arcade baller NBA Jam, and it's gotten progressively less funny every single time a sports game gives you a giant melon. Even seen in: EA Sports Fight Night 2004 (PS2/XB/GC) 2 Hero's town gets destroyed Signs it might be time to move: neighbor's kid starts messing around with swords and magic, elite paramilitary group starts harassing local residents, unusual frequency of earthquakes and/or eclipses. If you notice any of these things happening, call your realtor. A role-playing game is starting and your property value is about to go way down. Even seen in: Final Fantasy X (PS2) 3 Unnecessary stealth If you want to make a stealth game, then make a stealth game. Don't give us guns and bombs and swords and fast cars and explosions and then tell us to be quiet, just for a bit! If we want to sneak around, then we'll play a game that's designed for doing just that. In your game, we shall blow stuff up. Even seen in: Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (PS2/XB), The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker (GC) 4 Predictable boss fights Boss battles ought to be the most unique, thrilling, and unpredictable encounters in a game, but lately it seems like everyone's working from the same template. The boss will fight in multiple forms, exposing his obvious (and oftentimes highlighted) weak point for you to whale on until his multilayered health bar reaches zero. Even seen in: Metroid Prime 2: Echoes (GC) 5 Out-of-place puzzles Imagine if every time you wanted to go down into your basement, you had to wait for a full moon, procure a statue made of precious jewels, solve a ninth-grade logic puzzle, and then push a heavy bookshelf so that it's exactly perpendicular to your couch. All you wanted was your baseball glove, sheesh. Even seen in: Resident Evil 4 (GC) 6 Collecting This necessary evil has been around since most of us first picked up a controller, but now that our tastes have been refined, we really don't need to find and collect all 100 magical whatzits to open the red door. This concept is only tolerable if it's used as a means to an end (Super Mario Sunshine's shine sprites) instead of the end itself (Sunshine's blue coins). Even seen in: Psychonauts (PS2/XB) 7 Ridiculous portrayals of females Women have breasts. Get over it. Even seen in: Soul Calibur II (PS2/XB/GC) 8 Bullet time It was cool in 1999. Used properly, bullet time (or being able to manually slow down the gameplay, in general) can still be cool today. But you know something? It doesn't have to be in every game. Really, it doesn't. Even seen in: Midnight Club 3: DUB Edition (PS2/XB), Prince of Persia: Warrior Within (PS2/XB/GC) 9 Pushing crates Note to evil masterminds everywhere: We understand that you're trying to run a business, which involves receiving equipment and food somehow. But leaving those giant crates just lying around your warehouse for any one-man army to use for supplies and climbing? It's no wonder most startup criminal organizations fail within the first five years. Even seen in: God of War (PS2) 10 Exploding barrels Again, a little warehouse management can go a long way. You work in a field that's prone to random assaults and frequent gunfire, yet you spot your adversaries some free bombs in strategic locations. Some of you even tell your henchmen to hide behind them for cover. And if you survive Johnny Rambo's attempt to take you down, good luck getting hazard pay. Even seen in: Doom 3 (XB), Halo 2 (XB) =============
Hey i completely agree with you. Having to hit "scan" every 5 seconds while driving down the road isn't too easy. A continuously scanning thing shouldn't be that much to ask. And a memory stick pro duo gps receiver.... Wow that would be cool.
their stock price is way down though: http://www.google.com/search?oi=stock&q=stocks:MSF T&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dmsft%26hl%3Den%26hs%3DbnK%26l r%3D%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-U S:official
CaPiTaLiZiNg EvErY oThEr lEtTeR... using animated gifs as tiled backgrounds...
can it be implemented in robots?
it will be interesting to see if the psp will support a usb hub...
Hopefully ripping a CD into mp4 will get faster and easier. Like ripping songs off a CD into mp3 format to put on a portable player.
And how is this different from putting mp3s on a portable mp3 player? yes you have an audio out obviously, but maybe some people don't like lugging a laptop around with them to listen to music or watch a movie.
add it to the list: beta atrack etc.
they have a bit of a history with failed proprietary formats you know...
looking at ebay i saw a few auctions for 1 million neopets credits selling for 100 bucks with bids. i don't think those are 13 year old girls.
Real life GTA?
But if they make it too easy to do, won't the creators of the pirated games shy away from developing on the PSP platform? What if the developers try to sue Sony? It seems like if a bank left the vault door open and got robbed, the customers should be able to be reimbursed...
where you just randomly hit two buttons together and they do something useful
how about a girlfriend
wtf is april 1st free karma day?!!
well speaking of his mom...
Public high schools base their education too much on the standardized tests. They teach the students only what they need to know to score well on the tests and therefore make the school look "good".
Hell, I'm a freshman in high school this year and I've cheated on every Spanish test but the first one. The retarded teacher leaves all of the tests in a big stack on his desk the day before the test. Well, I manage to walk out with a test and get all of the answers in size 4 font... Profit...