Dear Sir or Madam:
We, the Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What, have found a new calling. We will steal this information. For Great Justice!
Signed,
The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What
We, the Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What, run a vast botnet using sophisticated command and control schemes that will remain impervious to your primitive nonsense. We have thousands of servers constantly swapping vast stores of copyrighted information, and nothing can stop us. Nothing! muahahahahahahahhaha
Signed,
The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What
p.s. No we're not using stupid comments on slashdot as encoded messages to our botnets
The hospital keeps George the giant monkey sedated in an underground lair, just in case a robot rampage requires him. The robot knew better than to start busting down walls. Incidentally, this is also why they need robots to automatically dispense medication.
You brain dead moron. Microsoft takes advantage of the next generation directx 9 3d acceleration hardware available in all longhorn-supporting computers to blend the blue and red into a dark, rich purple using sophisticated algorithms, lighting effects, and large textures.
We, the Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What, are pleased to inform you that games are flowing like manna from heaven. Our warez servers are fully loaded with thousands of games, free for the taking and ready for your enjoyment. The piracy industry is breaking all-time records and growing by large percentages every quarter. Profits remain at the level our investors expect-$0. Our campaign to "kill all copyright" nears success, and our "revolutionary distribution model" has been so successful that even Valve attempted an inferior imitation with Steam. Their mistake was to bastardize their system with intellectual property restrictions. By all accounts, although the road has been bumpy, the piracy industry is bigger than the Game Industry and Hollywood combined, according to figures stolen from RIAA and MPAA researchers.
We have already solved the "all the ideas will eventually run out" problem: Our distribution network includes millions of teenagers with revolutionary ideas that have never been tried. Although critics claim this is because the ideas are completely stupid, unworkable, self-contradictory, and phrased in some language that does not appear to be English, we remain determined to steal these ideas without giving anything to the creators in return.
Signed,
The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What
p.s. the package will be in the dropbox at Oak and Finchell Streets at 0200.
We, the Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What, are shocked and dismayed by this unfortunate turn of events. We mourn the loss of these valuable sites, but this tragedy only steels our resolve to pirate and thieve all intellectual property. To honor the deaths of our beloved sites, we will be holding a vigil tonight, featuring a 24 hour marathon of pirated MPAA intellectual property on three screens.
Signed,
The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What
We, the Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What, say it stops now. Our cabal of Freedom Hating Illegal Filetraders has already set up a pirate DNS server on a box they compromised at this.net domain name. (216.144.199.196) They are uploading all the intellectual property they can find, especially ICANN's, and enabling various P2P services which violate copyrights held by the RIAA, MPAA, SPCA, NFL, YMCA, and GNU.
Yes, that's right-our crack team has stolen open source DNS software, modified it, and released it in closed-source form while destroying the original source in order to violate the GPL. No license is safe from our rabid thieving!
I encourage all slashdotters to steal ICANN's 75 cents at this.net site immediately. The Internet is no place for profit!
Signed,
The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What
p.s. "EXCHANGE: 1 STARCH PLUS 1 FAT" This information has been stolen from a diabetes association which we will not give credit to.
We, the Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What, rue the travesty that has lead to the sentencing of our compatriots. We remain dedicated to the theft and infringement of all intellectual property at all costs, including but not limited to financial records and credit card numbers. Rest assured, we will continue our relentless campaign to thieve.
Signed,
The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What
We, the Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What, already have a cabal of Freedom Hating Illegal Filetraders feverishly working on a cracked version of 10.3.7 which we will release publically for free. Apple's lack of copy protection and free distribution via Software Update has seriously impeded our efforts to violate the DMCA and cost people money, but even these extreme measures will prove insufficient to stem internet piracy of copyrighted software.
Signed,
The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What
We are pleased to inform you that we, the Illegal Pirates of the Internet who Must Steal Everything No Matter What have resumed activity on slashdot, and will proceed to troll it, thereby committing theft of your precious time. Assuming your billing rate is $30/hour, and it takes you one minute to read this post, we have stolen 50 cents from you.
Furthermore, we resolve to infringe your intellectual property by violating your copyright on the phrase Freedom Hating Illegal Filetraders. We intend to use this phrase in a variety of posts without crediting you in any way, shape, or form.
In accordance with our previous declarations regarding copyrights which shall be infringed, we duly inform you that THE BEIGE OF A DAMNED ELDER GOD YEARNING TO ENFOLD YOU IN THE HORRIBLE CLUTCHES OF ITS CLOYINGLY INSIPID YET AGGRESSIVELY MALEVOLENT TINT continue to wreak upon ye unfortunates the HORROR THAT IS SLASHDOT IT SECTION RADIOACTIVE BEIGE. Said beige is so horrific that we must post this in a non-biege story due to the fact that we cannot bear to enter a beige story.
Lastly, we point out that we, The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What, have changed our name from The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Violate Every Copyright No Matter What to The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What. We feel that our new name updates our image and plays to key demographics.
Signed,
The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What
p.s. hahaha all your copyright are belong to use make your time you have no chance to profit!!1!
Slashdot Mirror
Dear Sir or Madam: We, the Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What, have found a new calling. We will steal this information. For Great Justice! Signed, The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What
We, the Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What, run a vast botnet using sophisticated command and control schemes that will remain impervious to your primitive nonsense. We have thousands of servers constantly swapping vast stores of copyrighted information, and nothing can stop us. Nothing! muahahahahahahahhaha
Signed,
The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What
p.s. No we're not using stupid comments on slashdot as encoded messages to our botnets
The hospital keeps George the giant monkey sedated in an underground lair, just in case a robot rampage requires him. The robot knew better than to start busting down walls. Incidentally, this is also why they need robots to automatically dispense medication.
What you say!! Somebody set up us the bomb..in Japan!
was delayed because the riaa was suing us over whatever the article was about. doesn't matter what the topic is, they're still suing.
In case you were wondering, we know this because we stole a prerelease copy of Longhorn at musketpoint.
You brain dead moron. Microsoft takes advantage of the next generation directx 9 3d acceleration hardware available in all longhorn-supporting computers to blend the blue and red into a dark, rich purple using sophisticated algorithms, lighting effects, and large textures.
From the desk of the lllegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What, Re the article:
No text.
Re RMS:
That information wants to be free. Those who knew in the days when goat buggery was "Wired" not "Tired" give much hot grits to our distributors.
Signed, The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What
p.s. USDA /\
We, the Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What, are pleased to inform you that games are flowing like manna from heaven. Our warez servers are fully loaded with thousands of games, free for the taking and ready for your enjoyment. The piracy industry is breaking all-time records and growing by large percentages every quarter. Profits remain at the level our investors expect-$0. Our campaign to "kill all copyright" nears success, and our "revolutionary distribution model" has been so successful that even Valve attempted an inferior imitation with Steam. Their mistake was to bastardize their system with intellectual property restrictions. By all accounts, although the road has been bumpy, the piracy industry is bigger than the Game Industry and Hollywood combined, according to figures stolen from RIAA and MPAA researchers.
We have already solved the "all the ideas will eventually run out" problem: Our distribution network includes millions of teenagers with revolutionary ideas that have never been tried. Although critics claim this is because the ideas are completely stupid, unworkable, self-contradictory, and phrased in some language that does not appear to be English, we remain determined to steal these ideas without giving anything to the creators in return.
Signed,
The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What
p.s. the package will be in the dropbox at Oak and Finchell Streets at 0200.
We, the Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What, are shocked and dismayed by this unfortunate turn of events. We mourn the loss of these valuable sites, but this tragedy only steels our resolve to pirate and thieve all intellectual property. To honor the deaths of our beloved sites, we will be holding a vigil tonight, featuring a 24 hour marathon of pirated MPAA intellectual property on three screens.
Signed,
The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What
We, the Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What, say it stops now. Our cabal of Freedom Hating Illegal Filetraders has already set up a pirate DNS server on a box they compromised at this .net domain name. (216.144.199.196) They are uploading all the intellectual property they can find, especially ICANN's, and enabling various P2P services which violate copyrights held by the RIAA, MPAA, SPCA, NFL, YMCA, and GNU.
Yes, that's right-our crack team has stolen open source DNS software, modified it, and released it in closed-source form while destroying the original source in order to violate the GPL. No license is safe from our rabid thieving!
I encourage all slashdotters to steal ICANN's 75 cents at this .net site immediately. The Internet is no place for profit!
Signed,
The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What
p.s. "EXCHANGE: 1 STARCH PLUS 1 FAT" This information has been stolen from a diabetes association which we will not give credit to.
We, the Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What, rue the travesty that has lead to the sentencing of our compatriots. We remain dedicated to the theft and infringement of all intellectual property at all costs, including but not limited to financial records and credit card numbers. Rest assured, we will continue our relentless campaign to thieve.
Signed,
The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What
p.s. clock!
We, the Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What, already have a cabal of Freedom Hating Illegal Filetraders feverishly working on a cracked version of 10.3.7 which we will release publically for free. Apple's lack of copy protection and free distribution via Software Update has seriously impeded our efforts to violate the DMCA and cost people money, but even these extreme measures will prove insufficient to stem internet piracy of copyrighted software.
Signed,
The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What
Dear Sir or Madam:
We are pleased to inform you that we, the Illegal Pirates of the Internet who Must Steal Everything No Matter What have resumed activity on slashdot, and will proceed to troll it, thereby committing theft of your precious time. Assuming your billing rate is $30/hour, and it takes you one minute to read this post, we have stolen 50 cents from you.
Furthermore, we resolve to infringe your intellectual property by violating your copyright on the phrase Freedom Hating Illegal Filetraders. We intend to use this phrase in a variety of posts without crediting you in any way, shape, or form.
In accordance with our previous declarations regarding copyrights which shall be infringed, we duly inform you that THE BEIGE OF A DAMNED ELDER GOD YEARNING TO ENFOLD YOU IN THE HORRIBLE CLUTCHES OF ITS CLOYINGLY INSIPID YET AGGRESSIVELY MALEVOLENT TINT continue to wreak upon ye unfortunates the HORROR THAT IS SLASHDOT IT SECTION RADIOACTIVE BEIGE. Said beige is so horrific that we must post this in a non-biege story due to the fact that we cannot bear to enter a beige story.
Lastly, we point out that we, The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What, have changed our name from The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Violate Every Copyright No Matter What to The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What. We feel that our new name updates our image and plays to key demographics.
Signed,
The Illegal Pirates of the Internet Who Must Steal Everything No Matter What
p.s. hahaha all your copyright are belong to use make your time you have no chance to profit!!1!