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User: redshirt

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Comments · 60

  1. machine conspiracy on Voting Machines Elect One of Their Own As President · · Score: 1

    This certainly explains why I've received threatening calls from the AT-5000 Autodialer.

  2. In related news... on Tea Task Force To Spy On Water Use at Work · · Score: 1

    To generate funds to fight global-warming, your Government will now be assessing taxes for each gaseous expulsion you produce from your anus. Methane and sulfur detectors will be inserted tomorrow. Good day.

  3. Re: on If the Other Party Wins · · Score: 1

    I wish mine would stop bummin' joints from me. They won't even chip in for munchies.

  4. He thinks he's clever now on Teenager Breaks Record With Long Name · · Score: 2, Insightful

    This muthafucker has two things to look forward to: (1) a long life of celibacy (2) well moisturised hands

  5. No auto-grappler for him on Taking It Easy Batman · · Score: 1

    I think he's exceeded the recommended weight limit for his utility belt.

  6. Pimpin' is easy on Pimp Vader · · Score: 1

    When you can Force choke a bitch.

  7. A multi-purpose guide on How To Protect Children From Zombie Attack · · Score: 1

    These same techniques can be applied to severe outbreaks of pinkeye.

  8. Yet even more creepy... on Creepiest Blind Date · · Score: 1

    The guy who digs the tiny graves, with his wee shovel.

  9. He looks so relieved! on Math Prof Uncovers Secret Chord · · Score: 1

    He found the Brown Note.

  10. Commodity workers on Call Center Worker Froze Customer's Bank Account · · Score: 1

    What else would you expect from an environment where workers are treated as a scarce commodity and there are no real penalties to prevent this sort of behaviour? I'm sure that call centre fellow had waiting job offers as he stepped out his former employer's office. And that's assuming he ended up getting canned. An Indian friend runs a US-based company, and he's told me that he would never outsource his clients' confidential information management to India (or any non-G8 country for that matter) specifically for problems like this. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to disparage any particular group; this same thing would likely happen anywhere that doesn't have adequate laws to act as a deterrent.