not only are we likely to see casualties. Probably fairly inocent ones at protests that get 'out of hand'. But Get what will save you? Thats right A TIN FOIL HAT!!!!
Seriously. A little foil in clothes will stop those nasty rays. As will many other things. So the ones looking for trouble will defeat the technology very quickly. The ones minding there own business at a ralley the government doesn't like, will be treated worse than cattle...
Whats the difference? I get monitored by mobile phone users, or government...
For example, this guy shows numberplates and faces. He doesn't investigate further. He just spies from a distance. In this example, people are unlikely to get worked up into violence. But they may well get unfairly demonizing. And I can think of plenty other situation were it could get FAR worse..:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPX6Y7Xy3bg
I saw this the other day and thought about the blurring of the bigbrother/bigbrotherhood and the social machine.
I'd rather be watched by the police than vigilanties.
Like most things there, I'm guessing (tho this could well be very predjudist) that the Government pays... But she has done anyone who banks online a favour, by showing the flaw in the system. It would be naive to think that only she would ever crack it. What is interesting is that she has made it public knowledge that she has cracked it. This is probably China flexing its IT knowhow muscles a little. Not in such a threatening way, but a "look at the level at which we can play" kind of way. And no! This is not an act of war, nor would the US Gov be wise to call it one. But hey, their not so wise....
I was self-employed for 5 years. Then I get contact from a SME almost exactly 1 year ago. I was taken on as a lowly programmer. In that year I have been given a 11% raise (plus a chink of the company), and made Technical Director. I HAVE NEVER SEEN THE OFFICE! Not once. Not even for the interview. The first time I met the others face to face was at the Xmas bash a month ago.
So no. It has not harmed my career.
/. on the other hand is a very disruptive influence;)
damn. My points just expired. I would have marked you up. I was going to post this. Off Topic my arse! The guy's wareing Flip Flops while super hot gasseous structures are bouncing around at toe hight. He's clearly insane. The madder the scientist the better, is my usual take:)
on the side note of the science involved, I don't think these things would float if they had more anergy. They seem to drop at 10m/s/s ish, regardless of size (tho admittedly they don't vary that much).
I heard one account of a ball no bigger than these floating through a window. These don't have that kind of energy. Could they contain that much in a similar sized ball? Lots of unknowns. The only thing we do know, is if you're going to do these experiments, and you don't ware flip flops, you're a pussy! THIS is extreme science at its most radical!;)
"(Think about it. Those of us in Open Source have all done reverse engineering, we have all tried to wrest the secrets of some black box we can't see the inside of, and eventually we have all succeeded in doing so. Our interpretation may not 100% match the internals literally, but they WILL 100% match the internals logically. And in the end, that's all that matters.)"
In many ways I agree, but literal != logical. If I spoof the behaviour you look for, I could 'frame' another server for my processes. Logically, it would be they that served it, but literaly, it would be me. If I can detect and filter the flood from the attact, in order to avoid the timeing offset, but imediately start a similar attac on another server in the system,....
Unlike most webservers, most servers on Tor are desktops. They're not their to serve, but to browse. So unlike a web server, you can afford to deflect flood attacts, and effectively do without service for a while, dureing an attack.
So if you REALY want anon, this is not the end of Tor (an similar) as a solution.
I'm all for this kind of thinking, but fresh water won't touch the sides.
If you donate lake superior (approx 20,000 acres at a guess) to the project (would never happen - ironically enough due to conservationist lobbying) even at the less plausible end of this techniques potential, this is 'only' 200 million liters per year. Which is 4 days of fuel. Barely more than 1% of the annual fuel consumption of the US.
Damn it you lot have got me thinking in a UScentric mindset now! I hate you all!!! (not realy;)
Ah but what happens beyond time is less clear. Repeating time can create paradoxes. Causality itself becomes errend when one either precludes a 'prior' or assumes a reflection/reversal. And as space and time are one, this (as well as many other issues, includeing entropy) discourages my belief in such 'closed' world theories. Not to say its imposible, but less than likely, i'd say.
"Yes, but you see, the ability to do this, i.e. to practice charity, which is the moral way of life, is in many ways dependent upon having the resources to give, which in turn is dependant upon a healthy free market economy."
BS. Haveing lived in farming comunities where many folk are very cash poor yet resource rich, and generous, and now living in a Top five rightest world capital, were the reverse is true, relatively speaking, I can say catagorically that you are talkling out your arse. "a healthy free market economy" is niether the answer to your every question, nor, in truth, the system in which you actually reside. In a City, you abide by more rules and regulations, taxation and regulation (yet this is where you'll find the 'free market economy zealots'). In the country, people give you things as a favour. You return the favour when you resource is in season, none of this gets taxed, or regulated in any way. Nothing could be freer.
Sure, its hard to imagine Firefox without cities, and what you believe to be a 'free' economy, but now that we have reached where we have, it is easy to see how the majority of the work in improveing firefox et al, could, very soon, be done in 'poor' rural areas. And no money would continue to change hands.
As for justice vs morality, it's purely subjective. I find it unjustifiable to not be charitable. Some find it justice that the poor stay poor and die young. Morality is simply the futile argument that one has greater truth than the other.
I have a lack of cartlage due to genetics.. I'd swear by hemp oil, and Marmite. It pricey, but hemp oil is also the tastiest cooking oil I've ever tried. Don't know where you are, but in the UK you can get "Good Oil(tm)" in most major supermarkets (Sainsburys being one).
I was with you until you went mental at the end....
Hey hoo.
"You might've had the shit kicked out of you by a bunch of chavs."
Well they could try. This threat will always exist. That of random attacks from fellow citizens, so its not relevenat to the debate. If you are carrying a knife you are more likely to be seriously injured in a fight. Same if you're carrying a gun. So self defence is not an answer.
"government-approving sheep."
Now this is what I hate. Read my fucking post. I said I openly danm and deride the government. This is just you venting bile for no apparent reason. I am much freer here, to say what I like without the likely hood of being locked up indefinately or being shot by someone 'carrying' who doesn't like what I have to say. Just because a pease of paper SAYS you have free speach: 1) doesn't mean you actually have it 2) doesn't mean obodyelse has it.
Is waveing a gun around a crime? well in many places yes. Is it doing any physical harm (as long as it isn't discharged) - No.
I'm very glad for these. Whenever this sort of thing is mantioned on/. there's a huge flood of 1984 comments. The fact is, I've neever had anything but good experiences with common o'garden police in the UK. Riot police on the other hand are less friendly.
But I had a gun pulled on me in the US, essencially for haveing long hair, as far as I can tell.
If you empower the police and remove the guns from the populus, strangely enough, you get a safer, calmer 'freer' society.
I say what I like about the government. If I say something next to a CCTV camera, and they arrest me for it, THERE IS NOT A CHANCE IN HELL that the evidence would stand up in court. And the point to me about freedom, is that privacy is not even required. If you can deride the the leader, and call the governments policies into question/openly damn them, then why do you need this kind of privacy from the state?
If you want to plot an illegal activity, or political uprising against a facist dictator, a street corner probably isn't the place to do it anyway, right?
And this is why kids want to leave American Highschools early. The over competative, anti social norms are quite ugly. Why do you feel that the "special needs" kids contribute nothing to society? Because you see their lives as lesser. Maybe in someways in some cases they are. But I'd sooner give my time and money to someone who thinks less of themselves than you apparently do.
Your burger flipping comment shows how little you care about their lives being fullfilled. If you're now thinking, "what a jerk, this guy should go hug a criple or something" BANG! thats the reason I would want to leave your high school.
In a culture that prides itself on competition for competition's sake, teens are overwhelmed by this intense fight for the top. This is why you have more children shooting children than in any other country I know of, that isn't at war. Why you have such a high drop out rate, and why, despight have greater wealth as a nation, I wouldn't live there or have my child live there (despite her having a US passport) if you literaly gave me $1M. No exageration. I wouldn't. In order to be the best, you need to know what is good. Your trample on the little guy theory is not good. You may end up with more cash than "special needs" kids, but you will be living in a culture where "special needs" kids are hiddern away in cheep but horrific Victorian 'sanitoria'. I know a Laywer who was put in one for his entire childhood. As a child he had no useful movement in his limbs and his speech was very difficult to understand - it took me more than a week to start to understand everything he said. He got £500,000 damages out of the intitution that put him there. So your plan may not be cheeper in the long run. And in terms of the quality of those lives, you could be doing great damage by removing the resourses nesessary to alow them as full a life as is feasable. Like Is say, tell me to go hug a cripple or something, but that is exactly why I, for one, would get out of a US highschool at the first opotunity.
This is NOT very cool.
Its google earth (which was cool, until everyone realized its no more use than google maps). On a web page. BUT as you have to download a whole heap of crap, that makes it no better than an activeX wrapper, for the Google earth API.
But what really f'ed me off is that it changed my home page to windows live!!!! Grrrr.
"Uh, not to be nit picky, but average IQ can't increase. The IQ score is always relative to a bell curve, with 'average' alwaysbeing smack-dab at the 50th percentile (the mean). 200==100th percentile, and 0==0th percentile (both more or less immeasurable)."
er, not to be, - well yes I am being pernickaty, but this isn't perfectly true either. Only a perfect, unsquewed test with no cieling or flor errors will have a mean of exactly 100. And haveing made some psychometric tests, I can tell you they don't exist.
Actually it was Jon Clease! Still, yes its funny. Old too. Was rumbling around ages ago. On a slightly more serious note tho this whole thing stinks. I mean realy! I know the propoganda machine whir day and night in all countries of note, but seriously. This whole idea of adressing EVERYTHIONG that challenges you as a nation with war (drugs, terrorism, obesity, Free press...). WTF. Relax, grow up and think a little. The America I knew and loved is vanishing before my very screen.
Go on strike or something. Show those in power they aint anything without you, the good folk of the USA.
And as long as that is your messioner of 0wn3r5hip we won't worry to much about the likes of you...
Do I care that the internet is not multilaterally governed. A bit. I don't think it would take long for a new for of IP regisration to emerge if 'THE US' decides to play silly buggers with it.
This is the UK, as your constitution isn't worth toilet paper now, we're revocing your independance:
To the Citizens of the United States of America:
In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium," and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix will be replaced by the suffix "ise." You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra'; you may elect to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you find you simply can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up "vocabulary"). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."
3. You will relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above).
4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will be a called "Come-Uppance Day."
5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
7. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling "gasoline")-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with mayonnaise but with vinegar.
9. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
10. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." American brands will be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
Slashdot Mirror
not only are we likely to see casualties. Probably fairly inocent ones at protests that get 'out of hand'. But Get what will save you? Thats right A TIN FOIL HAT!!!!
Seriously. A little foil in clothes will stop those nasty rays. As will many other things. So the ones looking for trouble will defeat the technology very quickly. The ones minding there own business at a ralley the government doesn't like, will be treated worse than cattle...
Whats the difference? I get monitored by mobile phone users, or government...
For example, this guy shows numberplates and faces. He doesn't investigate further. He just spies from a distance. In this example, people are unlikely to get worked up into violence. But they may well get unfairly demonizing. And I can think of plenty other situation were it could get FAR worse..: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qPX6Y7Xy3bg
I saw this the other day and thought about the blurring of the bigbrother/bigbrotherhood and the social machine.
I'd rather be watched by the police than vigilanties.
With this :
1 1/0430240
http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=06/12/
We may have sussed it.
Like most things there, I'm guessing (tho this could well be very predjudist) that the Government pays... But she has done anyone who banks online a favour, by showing the flaw in the system. It would be naive to think that only she would ever crack it. What is interesting is that she has made it public knowledge that she has cracked it. This is probably China flexing its IT knowhow muscles a little. Not in such a threatening way, but a "look at the level at which we can play" kind of way. And no! This is not an act of war, nor would the US Gov be wise to call it one. But hey, their not so wise....
Quite!
/. on the other hand is a very disruptive influence ;)
I was self-employed for 5 years. Then I get contact from a SME almost exactly 1 year ago. I was taken on as a lowly programmer. In that year I have been given a 11% raise (plus a chink of the company), and made Technical Director. I HAVE NEVER SEEN THE OFFICE! Not once. Not even for the interview. The first time I met the others face to face was at the Xmas bash a month ago.
So no. It has not harmed my career.
damn. My points just expired. I would have marked you up. I was going to post this. Off Topic my arse! The guy's wareing Flip Flops while super hot gasseous structures are bouncing around at toe hight. He's clearly insane. The madder the scientist the better, is my usual take :)
;)
on the side note of the science involved, I don't think these things would float if they had more anergy. They seem to drop at 10m/s/s ish, regardless of size (tho admittedly they don't vary that much).
I heard one account of a ball no bigger than these floating through a window. These don't have that kind of energy. Could they contain that much in a similar sized ball? Lots of unknowns. The only thing we do know, is if you're going to do these experiments, and you don't ware flip flops, you're a pussy! THIS is extreme science at its most radical!
Actually, in physics, there's no such thing as "speed". Only Velocity. Speed, strictly speeking, is meaningless.
Wow!
/.
Cool. That'll show me for guestimating on
Cheers for bothering to look it up.
"(Think about it. Those of us in Open Source have all done reverse engineering, we have all tried to wrest the secrets of some black box we can't see the inside of, and eventually we have all succeeded in doing so. Our interpretation may not 100% match the internals literally, but they WILL 100% match the internals logically. And in the end, that's all that matters.)"
....
In many ways I agree, but literal != logical. If I spoof the behaviour you look for, I could 'frame' another server for my processes. Logically, it would be they that served it, but literaly, it would be me. If I can detect and filter the flood from the attact, in order to avoid the timeing offset, but imediately start a similar attac on another server in the system,
Unlike most webservers, most servers on Tor are desktops. They're not their to serve, but to browse. So unlike a web server, you can afford to deflect flood attacts, and effectively do without service for a while, dureing an attack.
So if you REALY want anon, this is not the end of Tor (an similar) as a solution.
I'm all for this kind of thinking, but fresh water won't touch the sides.
;)
If you donate lake superior (approx 20,000 acres at a guess) to the project (would never happen - ironically enough due to conservationist lobbying) even at the less plausible end of this techniques potential, this is 'only' 200 million liters per year. Which is 4 days of fuel. Barely more than 1% of the annual fuel consumption of the US.
Damn it you lot have got me thinking in a UScentric mindset now! I hate you all!!! (not realy
Ah but what happens beyond time is less clear. Repeating time can create paradoxes. Causality itself becomes errend when one either precludes a 'prior' or assumes a reflection/reversal. And as space and time are one, this (as well as many other issues, includeing entropy) discourages my belief in such 'closed' world theories. Not to say its imposible, but less than likely, i'd say.
"Yes, but you see, the ability to do this, i.e. to practice charity, which is the moral way of life, is in many ways dependent upon having the resources to give, which in turn is dependant upon a healthy free market economy."
BS. Haveing lived in farming comunities where many folk are very cash poor yet resource rich, and generous, and now living in a Top five rightest world capital, were the reverse is true, relatively speaking, I can say catagorically that you are talkling out your arse. "a healthy free market economy" is niether the answer to your every question, nor, in truth, the system in which you actually reside. In a City, you abide by more rules and regulations, taxation and regulation (yet this is where you'll find the 'free market economy zealots'). In the country, people give you things as a favour. You return the favour when you resource is in season, none of this gets taxed, or regulated in any way. Nothing could be freer.
Sure, its hard to imagine Firefox without cities, and what you believe to be a 'free' economy, but now that we have reached where we have, it is easy to see how the majority of the work in improveing firefox et al, could, very soon, be done in 'poor' rural areas. And no money would continue to change hands.
As for justice vs morality, it's purely subjective. I find it unjustifiable to not be charitable. Some find it justice that the poor stay poor and die young. Morality is simply the futile argument that one has greater truth than the other.
I have a lack of cartlage due to genetics.. I'd swear by hemp oil, and Marmite. It pricey, but hemp oil is also the tastiest cooking oil I've ever tried. Don't know where you are, but in the UK you can get "Good Oil(tm)" in most major supermarkets (Sainsburys being one).
I was with you until you went mental at the end....
Hey hoo.
"You might've had the shit kicked out of you by a bunch of chavs."
Well they could try. This threat will always exist. That of random attacks from fellow citizens, so its not relevenat to the debate. If you are carrying a knife you are more likely to be seriously injured in a fight. Same if you're carrying a gun. So self defence is not an answer.
"government-approving sheep."
Now this is what I hate. Read my fucking post. I said I openly danm and deride the government. This is just you venting bile for no apparent reason. I am much freer here, to say what I like without the likely hood of being locked up indefinately or being shot by someone 'carrying' who doesn't like what I have to say. Just because a pease of paper SAYS you have free speach: 1) doesn't mean you actually have it 2) doesn't mean obodyelse has it.
Is waveing a gun around a crime? well in many places yes. Is it doing any physical harm (as long as it isn't discharged) - No.
/. there's a huge flood of 1984 comments. The fact is, I've neever had anything but good experiences with common o'garden police in the UK. Riot police on the other hand are less friendly.
I'm very glad for these. Whenever this sort of thing is mantioned on
But I had a gun pulled on me in the US, essencially for haveing long hair, as far as I can tell.
If you empower the police and remove the guns from the populus, strangely enough, you get a safer, calmer 'freer' society.
I say what I like about the government. If I say something next to a CCTV camera, and they arrest me for it, THERE IS NOT A CHANCE IN HELL that the evidence would stand up in court. And the point to me about freedom, is that privacy is not even required. If you can deride the the leader, and call the governments policies into question/openly damn them, then why do you need this kind of privacy from the state?
If you want to plot an illegal activity, or political uprising against a facist dictator, a street corner probably isn't the place to do it anyway, right?
And this is why kids want to leave American Highschools early. The over competative, anti social norms are quite ugly. Why do you feel that the "special needs" kids contribute nothing to society? Because you see their lives as lesser. Maybe in someways in some cases they are. But I'd sooner give my time and money to someone who thinks less of themselves than you apparently do.
Your burger flipping comment shows how little you care about their lives being fullfilled. If you're now thinking, "what a jerk, this guy should go hug a criple or something" BANG! thats the reason I would want to leave your high school.
In a culture that prides itself on competition for competition's sake, teens are overwhelmed by this intense fight for the top. This is why you have more children shooting children than in any other country I know of, that isn't at war. Why you have such a high drop out rate, and why, despight have greater wealth as a nation, I wouldn't live there or have my child live there (despite her having a US passport) if you literaly gave me $1M. No exageration. I wouldn't. In order to be the best, you need to know what is good. Your trample on the little guy theory is not good. You may end up with more cash than "special needs" kids, but you will be living in a culture where "special needs" kids are hiddern away in cheep but horrific Victorian 'sanitoria'. I know a Laywer who was put in one for his entire childhood. As a child he had no useful movement in his limbs and his speech was very difficult to understand - it took me more than a week to start to understand everything he said. He got £500,000 damages out of the intitution that put him there. So your plan may not be cheeper in the long run. And in terms of the quality of those lives, you could be doing great damage by removing the resourses nesessary to alow them as full a life as is feasable. Like Is say, tell me to go hug a cripple or something, but that is exactly why I, for one, would get out of a US highschool at the first opotunity.
Reassemble Stephany? :(
I'd say installing Norton 'security' software on someone's machine could now be illegal too, by this...
This is NOT very cool.
Its google earth (which was cool, until everyone realized its no more use than google maps). On a web page. BUT as you have to download a whole heap of crap, that makes it no better than an activeX wrapper, for the Google earth API.
But what really f'ed me off is that it changed my home page to windows live!!!! Grrrr.
:)
I'm dyslexic.
Hense my interest in the field
"Uh, not to be nit picky, but average IQ can't increase. The IQ score is always relative to a bell curve, with 'average' alwaysbeing smack-dab at the 50th percentile (the mean). 200==100th percentile, and 0==0th percentile (both more or less immeasurable)."
er, not to be, - well yes I am being pernickaty, but this isn't perfectly true either. Only a perfect, unsquewed test with no cieling or flor errors will have a mean of exactly 100. And haveing made some psychometric tests, I can tell you they don't exist.
Actually it was Jon Clease! Still, yes its funny. Old too. Was rumbling around ages ago. On a slightly more serious note tho this whole thing stinks. I mean realy! I know the propoganda machine whir day and night in all countries of note, but seriously. This whole idea of adressing EVERYTHIONG that challenges you as a nation with war (drugs, terrorism, obesity, Free press...). WTF. Relax, grow up and think a little. The America I knew and loved is vanishing before my very screen.
Go on strike or something. Show those in power they aint anything without you, the good folk of the USA.
And as long as that is your messioner of 0wn3r5hip we won't worry to much about the likes of you...
Do I care that the internet is not multilaterally governed. A bit. I don't think it would take long for a new for of IP regisration to emerge if 'THE US' decides to play silly buggers with it.
OW! That was supposed to be funny. You know haha! Now I'm -1 and counting :(
Are they 'correcting' humour too?
This is the UK, as your constitution isn't worth toilet paper now, we're revocing your independance:
To the Citizens of the United States of America:
In light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories (excepting Kansas, which she does not fancy). Your new prime minister, Tony Blair, will appoint a governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium," and check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix will be replaced by the suffix "ise." You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra'; you may elect to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you find you simply can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels (look up "vocabulary"). Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication.
2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."
3. You will relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out Task #1 (see above).
4. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday. November 2nd will be a called "Come-Uppance Day."
5. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. A permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
6. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and this is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
7. The Former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling "gasoline")-roughly $6/US gallon. Get used to it.
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with mayonnaise but with vinegar.
9. Waiters and waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
10. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." American brands will be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine," so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
11. Hollywood will be re