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User: FatdogHaiku

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Comments · 2,419

  1. Re:stimulate all of our senses & spirits at on on Mysterious X-ray Signal Hints At Dark Matter · · Score: 1

    ...Oreo flavored Doritos...

    Do you have a newsletter?

    No, just a buddy with keys to the Colorado research division of ConGlomCo...
    but I may have said too much...

  2. Re: Plus bonus.... on A Physicist Says He Can Tornado-Proof the Midwest With 1,000-Foot Walls · · Score: 2

    Dude, THAT'S how they pay for it! You charge people for jumping off. Also, at that width we should be able to put some expressways on those babies... or bullet trains... really long flume rides... something.

  3. Re:stimulate all of our senses & spirits at on on Mysterious X-ray Signal Hints At Dark Matter · · Score: 1

    Not without a bong.

    Tried that. Still gibberish... Maybe I should try again...

    You also need a bag of Oreo flavored Doritos...

  4. Re:Rationale for the ban is??? on FAA Bans Delivering Packages With Drones · · Score: 1

    Presumeably the FAA doesn't think that hobbyists are much more responsible flyers than corporations doing business, so there must be another reason for this ban, yes? What could it be?

    a) Corporate business use would amount to greatly increased drone flights, and the FAA just doesn't think its regulatory ability, or the safety aspects of the technology, is ready for prime time wide scale use yet? For example, the interaction of drones and conventional aviation would have to be worked out in great detail for safety, and more technology and rules would be needed.

    b) Nuisance aspect of the technology? Noise? If widely deployed?

    c) The FAA just likes banning stuff in general, and new stuff in particular?

    d) Some vested competing interests (say, trucking industry? teamsters?,...?) are lobbying / bribing FAA senior administrators and/or politicians who have a say?

    You forgot
    e) All of the Above.

  5. Re:Doesn't this violate TOS? on EFF To Unveil Open Wireless Router For Open Wireless Movement · · Score: 3, Funny

    You better not use the Internet for homework, because effectively
    - your professor is sending you a request,
    - you fulfill it using your own bandwidth,
    - you give back the answer to the professor.

    Exactly like opening up your router.

    With latency that can be measured using an hour glass...

  6. Re:good news -- bad news on Red Hat Assistant General Counsel Analyses Supreme Court's Patent Ruling · · Score: 2

    Let's analyses this before jumping to unintended conclusions.

    I'm sorry, my English parser just blew up so I will have to get back to you...

  7. Re:Lick my balls and call me Sally! on When Drones Fall From the Sky · · Score: 2

    the federal, state and local governments within the united states can't mod you down, but everybody else can tell you to go fuck a duck.

    A note of caution, do not actually try fucking said duck while under observation by any representative of federal, state or local government... Even if it's obvious the duck REALLY wants it bad...

  8. Re:Sigh on Chicago Adding Sensors For Public Monitoring · · Score: 1

    The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

    The new, Federally funded "Congressman Asshat Bypass" is faster!

  9. Re:Did they say HOW to run it? on Research Project Pays People To Download, Run Executables · · Score: 2
  10. Re: We want driverless cars TODAY! on US Agency Aims To Regulate Map Aids In Vehicles · · Score: 1

    See woodgas

    I do not want to see, hear, or smell woodgas...
    getting the image out of my head is bad enough!

  11. Re:Origin story sounds familiar on Why the Moon's New Birthday Means the Earth Is Older Than We Thought · · Score: 3, Funny

    Why am I not surprised that the first post to this thread is from someone who doesn't know where babies come from?

    Exactly, everyone knows they come from storks.

    I was trying to explain that to a park employee the other day...
    he still made me let the stork go and pull my pants up...

  12. Re:That's just a bad idea... on FWD.us: GOP Voters To Be Targeted By Data Scientists · · Score: 1

    ...and an Alaskan volleyball player.

    I know there's a joke to be made about balls shrinking in the cold but I don't have time right now...

  13. Re:"Safety Requirements"? on California Regulators Tell Ride-Shares No Airport Runs · · Score: 1

    I'm pretty sure the LA cab drivers are on some secret contract to thin the general populace.

    OK, I'm looking for a down side... nope, don't see it...
    That does bring to mind the short story "The Carnival" by Michael Fedo
    Damn Fine Read if you can find it...

  14. Re: the stuff just comes out by itself on Fuel Cells From Nanomaterials Made From Human Urine · · Score: 1

    I'm sure a binder clip would work just fine, try not to put it in the exact same place each time.
    And keep your hands to the sides when you remove it...

  15. Re:Predicable on Virginia DMV Cracks Down On Uber, Lyft · · Score: 0

    wait... what... I thought most homosexuals were Democrat.

    Just the ones in the open... The Republicans just have a wide stance....

    Is that the result of using actual oil for a lube, or is a traditionally well endowed ethnic group finally getting behind the Republicans?

  16. Re:Sell! Sell! on Apple Acquires Social Search Engine Spotsetter · · Score: 1

    BRILLIANT! You know that warehouse at the end of Raiders of the Lost Arc? Most of those boxes are full of AOL CD's! It's a polycarbonate gold mine! Think of it, first give them a sleek paint job, then re-brand them as iCoasters! They come complete with an ergonomic hole in the center to aid in picking them up! They can be spindled for easy storage. Think about it, when was the last time you had a product you could "SPINDLE"? (Folding and mutilating still not recommended...)

  17. Re:Do No Evil so why not delete the info? on Google Has Received Over 41,000 Requests To "Forget" Personal Information · · Score: 0, Troll

    You not being legally required to inform others of your past transgressions is not the same as having those acts concealed for you by a third party (at their own expense). Otherwise history is going to look very different in the near future. Holocaust? Sorry, no records available. Khmer Rouge? Never happened. Every event is driven by people, and if they have the right to have their complicity forgotten, then who caused the event? Yes, I should be able to find out if a future employee was convicted of a serious (read "time in jail") crime... no, I don't need to know if they were simply stupid as a kid. Our prior actions do, and should, affect our future. Having paid ones debt to society is not the same as suddenly becoming trustworthy just because our past can be hidden...

  18. Re:Basic programming principles what? on GnuTLS Flaw Leaves Many Linux Users Open To Attacks · · Score: 1

    ...but you can't design something idiot proof because idiots are incredibly ingenious.

    And incomprehensibly lucky...

  19. Re:Nexus 4? on Ask Slashdot: Do 4G World Phones Exist? · · Score: 2

    ...No worse than in the US which is supposed to offer 4G, but forgets to actually attach it to the internet by anything faster than a damp piece of string.

    Hey, TCP over TWINE is still under development! It turns out that each size tin can needs it's own driver...

  20. Re:Science Writers: Stop Causing Us Intellectual P on Strange New World Discovered: The "Mega Earth" · · Score: 1
  21. Re:Science Writers: Stop Causing Us Intellectual P on Strange New World Discovered: The "Mega Earth" · · Score: 1

    No, except for that one error there, you are way too concise to be a native English speaker... try tossing a bit of ambiguity and some slang in there once in awhile... or is that "a while"... damn...

  22. Re:Tedious work; designing robots on Robots and Irradiated Parasites Enlisted In the Fight Against Malaria · · Score: 1

    If the disenfranchised workers get hostile, can the system scale up to protect itself?
    Well officer, it was a peaceful protest until several ex-employees rushed the mosquito decapitation station...
    we have their remains in these vials over here...

  23. Re:Umm .... on Terran Computational Calendar Introduces Minimonths, Year Bases, and Datemods · · Score: 3, Funny

    On a venn diagram there is no intersection between "speak Klingon at parties" and "friends"...

  24. Re:Internet of Things isn't on Tiniest Linux COM Yet? · · Score: 1

    I patented it as "Method and Apparatus for Allowing Devices to Access the Internet on the Internet". I have the sole right to use this IP and plan to leverage it to its fullest extent in my subsequent patent "Method and Apparatus for Allowing Devices to Access the Internet on the Internet on a Mobile Device".

    For some reason, the above makes me think of the phrase "now all restaurants are taco bell"...

  25. Re:I wonder on B-52 Gets First Full IT Upgrade Since 1961 · · Score: 1

    You know, if I were upgrading my only airborne cruise missile launch platform, I might make accommodations for the new generation of cruise missiles while I was at it... I would also leave "Update Wikipedia" off my To Do list...