1) Locate a newly-posted article 2) Search Slashdot for a similar article about the same topic (or something vaguely similar;-) from a few weeks or months ago 3) Find a 4- or 5-rated comment, change a few words around (i.e. "Bill Gates" -> "Microsoft CEO", "insightful" -> "interesting", etc.), and repost as your own! This technique has been proven to work time and time again, and it can be yours AT ABSOLUTELY NO COST!
N.B. - "No cost" does not include lawyer fees for plagairism/I.P. trials
This is why we need to encourage popular and/or talented artists to fight the system. Aside from instrument and recording costs, distributing CDs via an online store or allowing song downloads at $1.00 a piece isn't really all that costly.
I could honestly see Radiohead or TMBG doing something like this in the future. Who knows, with the way Michael Jackson is acting in his current smear campaign against Sony Music, perhaps even the big-name pop artists will ditch the record companies some day. However, this won't happen until the corporations stop "blowing" the radio DJs (sorry for the crude analogy) to make them play their artists' songs 17 times a day.
You're confusing the music business and plain old music itself.
CDs cost $20 US because of all the middlemen that take their cuts -- managers, producers, advertisers, etc.
I've heard plenty of "good music" that people created essentially at no cost, aside from the time it takes to practice a bit and to foster their musical talent.
Cute, but your little joke about the arts dog is pure nonsense and isn't a healthy paradigm.
I've performed at Carnegie Hall and will receive an engineering degree next spring (and I can probably beat 9.9/10 people in basketball on average). I also go to school with people who are pre-med and play violin in the orchestra, etc etc etc. There are numerous examples of multi-talented people who aren't just "computer geeks" or "math nerds".
I realize your comment was a joke and you were searching for the ever-elusive +5, Funny rating, but at the same time you should reflect on your stereotypical and misinformed viewpoint.
Wow, that's really interesting! I didn't realize that it was Apple who actually wrote the entire BSD/Mach kernel. And in four years, nonetheless -- truly an amazing feat!
This is total bullshit. I just got one of these in the mail today, and if GoDaddy (my registrar) hadn't warned me about it a few days ago, I may have filled it out and sent Verisign $30.
This is an incredibly sketchy practice on the part of Verisign and it pissed me off (as I'm sure it does many of you). Imagine if the U.S. government or IRS sent notices like this that said "Warning: If you don't send us X amount of dollars by March 31st, you will be in danger of facing criminal prosecution".
I mean, this is essentially what Verisign is doing, but the fact that they're a bunch of uber-capitalist business pigs^H^H^H^Hmen, it is somehow legal.
Of course I didn't pay. That's what a grappling hook thrown onto the roof of the movie theater and then smashing the solar panel on the roof while simultaneously dropping a few capsules of sleeping gas down at the ushers takes care of.
It was a great film, but the snoring started to get a little annoying after awhile;-)
Sure, this is a funny little skit Jon has going on, and I understand that this particular Slashdot story is just for shits and giggles.
But if all of us reported every single piece of unsolicited email that we got to SpamCop (or a similar service if you know of one), the whole world'd be a lot better off.
We need to be kind of harsh toward these spammers who take advantage of open relays in China and such while clogging our mailboxes. Rather than just replying with hateful words, or deleting the messages, let's all take steps to end this crap for real (because the legislation to make spam illegal certainly isn't moving very quickly).
I got one more (it's about bowling)
on
He Writes Back
·
· Score: 3, Informative
Please don't mod this as redundant when (if?) the guy's site comes back to life. Thanks.
Author's Note: Spam donated by Jeff Hobbs. Subject: Re: Are You a BOWLER? Check Out the HOTTEST NEW BOWLING BALL!
To: joebowler@skybiz.com, itstrikes@bigfoot.com
From: Jonathan Land
Date: 02/13/2002
How would you like to be the first in your bowling league to get your hands on the newest bowling ball from this innovative company? This new ball comes with a multi-density weight block with 800 grit sanded surface. This ball is so versatile, you can use it out of the box for heavy oil, or it can be shined to combat any condition. This ball has a very controlled break-point, which means higher scores and predictability.
Just some technical data for the serious bowler:
Radius of Gyration - Medium (2.530)
Differential - Medium (.050)
Hook Potential - 20 / 14 Dull/ Shiny on a scale of 1-20
Track Flare Potential - 6.5
Factory Finish Length - 6 on a scale of 1-10
Factory Finish Back-End - 8 on a scale of 1-10
Composition - Highly Reactive Urethane
Color - Lemon / Lime.......Very Attractive!
D-Scale - 76-78 Hardness
So if you would like some more information on this brand new product and want to be the envy of all your league bowlers, simply contact us at itstrikes@bigfoot.com and put "More Info Wanted" in the subject line and we will send along a website and some information about how to reserve yours today!
Hello,
I'd like to counter your proposition with another: How would YOU like to be the first in YOUR industry to get a piece of the newest innovative sport: Extreme Vertical Bowling.
We're looking for a manufacturer for league balls. These will have to be custom made to withstand several drops from approximately 10,000 ft in the air.
This is how it works in a nutshell: The bowlers will be outfitted with a ball and a parachute. For each frame, the bowlers are loaded onto a plane that climbs to 12,000 ft. Once the bowler jumps from the plane with ball in hand, they have 2,000 feet to release it, or they're "over the line". Then, and only then, are they allowed to pull the ripcord for their parachute. Repeat times 10.
They'll be aiming at 10 pins secured vertically over a 4x4 ft. target. The target itself will be made out of industrial strength Nerf, so the ball should be fine. However, dependant on how far off target our bowlers are (a.k.a. throwing a "craterball"), the ball could be landing on a variety of surfaces.
Can you please let me know if such a ball is feasible?
Jonathan Land
CEO, Extreme Vertical Bowling, LLC.
P.S. I know, what you're thinking... you're thinking: "Can't people get hurt like this?" I mean, really, any sporting event can go haywire... look at how many stray golf balls give folks concussions!
I somehow was able to read another one...
on
He Writes Back
·
· Score: 5, Funny
Again, please don't mod this redundant when (if?) his site gets back online.... ---
Author's Note: Thanks to Jeff Hobbs for sharing his bounty. I know it's not spam, but misdirected email is good enough for me. All the comments and replies are from Jeff, I chime in as Bubs. Subject: A word about Jayson
To: Amos304@aol.com
From: Jeff Hobbs / Jonathan Land
Date: 05/19/2001
I've been getting misdirected email from this girl for a while:
> hey stranger. sorry it has taken me soooo long to write back. I have been a
> very very busy crazy woman. I did go out last week. and had a lot of fun.
> oh, by the way we're all going out next Saturday to celebrate my birthday,
> Stella's birthday, and Courtney's (nurse in family medicine) birthday. but
> mainly for my 30th. if you're not doing anything you're more than welcome to
> come on down. i'm having a slumber party at my house for those that can't
> drive home or that live too far away.
> How are you and your girlfriend getting along? is it any better? I sure
> hope so. you are such a sweet good looking guy. you shouldn't have problems
> like these already in life. Life is tooo short. Well my ex and i pretty
> much don't speak at all to one another any more. or should i say since
> easter. i don't know what his problem is. one minute he tells me we have to
> get along for emily's sake and we'll be friends. the next he's telling to
> get the hell out of the house and not come back. see, i still have a lot of
> stuff still at the house. because when i moved out he told me that it might
> be only for a short period and that way i wouldn't have so much to move back
> if we decided to get back together. well needless to say we decided not to
> get back together. which really i have never been happier. he just makes it
> tough for me because like i said one minute he says i can depend on him
> (which at times i really don't want to feel like i have to depend on him, i
> want to be able to do on my own) and then i have to wait and wait until he
> can do something for me at his convienece. I have pretty much stopped doing
> that. and it has made it easier. for example like changing the oil in my
> car.
> Every other weekend he has emily. and at least one night my girlfriend
> and i go out. and i hear flack from him about that. he doesn't believe in
> going out especially to bars!!!! you know me, I'm a people person. actually
> i don;t go out to drink, you can ask tracey when we're out people will ask
> where i'm at and tracey will point to the dance floor. that's what i love to
> do is DANCE!!!! it's also good exercise. ha ha. so, has your company sent
> you anyplace else lately? i better go for now it's getting late. email me
> soon. if you would like to come down for the party let me know and we can
> celebrate your birthday too. Tracey and Karen(from work) are going to have a
> big cookout at my house before we go out so no one goes out on an empty
> stomach. and of course we'll be drinking before we go out. Karen talked
> about making Jell-o shots. who knows what will happen, this should make for
> an interesting evening to say the least. Stella is coming down from PA.
> anyway just let me know and if you want to stay as well you're more than
> welcome. talk to you soon.
>
> Love,
> Amy
>
which I generally ignore and you can probably tell why. Then I get this last week:
> Jayson,
>
> hey you. whatcha been upto? i haven't heard back from you in ages. just
> worried about you. i figure your busy. just checking on you. you haven't
> been to the office since you went to florida. did they keep you down there?
> or probably had too much fun. so, how have you been doing? oh, by the way
> "HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY"!!!!! how was your birthday. mine to say the least
> was interesting. HA HA!!! the girls at the office were asking if i had heard
> from you anymore and you hadn't been in the office. see, we keep track of the
> good reps that come in. better go for now. keep in touch.
>
> Amy
So in a fit of random evil, I send her this:
> Amy,
>
> The reason you haven't heard from me in a while is I've been in jail. I really
> don't want to talk about it, and if you ever ask me about it in person, I'll
> completely deny it.
>
>Jayson
and I sort of forgot about it until I got this today:
> Jayson,
>
> i'm sorry to here that. no problem. i was just concerned that's all. i
> won't pressure you, but if you ever need to talk i'm always here. and i mean
> that.
>
> sincerely,
> Amy
so I'm thinking that instead of just being moderately evil and fucking with this guy Jayson's life, I could be all out evil and ask The Master, Jon Land, if he would compose a short missive to Amy and maybe explain his jail time a bit more.
Or is that too much? I don't know anymore. Anyway, Jon, I'll forget that 10$ if you whip out a letter to Amy.
~Jeff
Dear Amy,
I'm not a particularly jealous man, but I couldn't help notice the highly sexual tones of your correspondence with Jayson. I know I shouldn't be reading his email, but when the warden called him out of the library for a cigarette deal, he had me fight off all the other inmates who were vying for the computer he was using, and I just couldn't help myself.
Since Jayson is my roommate, my best friend, and my lover (better known to folks on the outside as "prison bitch"), I am very protective of the special relationship that we have.
Let me introduce myself. My name is Bubs, it's short for Bubba, you know, like the President... although theoretically there should be a new President in office by now. By the time all the news gets edited and shown to us (we're consistently 2 years behind the times) a lot changes in the world.... we might as well have been living in Sweden! Just because we're in the psych ward, they think we can't handle it, but we can FUCKING HANDLE IT!!! WE FUCKING CAN!
I really am worried that as soon as Jayjay gets out of here he'll forget me and return to women. His return to a life of crime is a given. I can't imagine that the Italians that he used to get his stuff from would touch him with a 10-foot pole though. I know he's into chicks and he's just with me for the power, and I've tried to make myself more feminine for him. Unfortunately, while the fatty foods that they feed us to keep us sluggish and docile have formed supple man-boobs on my doughy, tender flesh, I think he's... whatever the male, prison equivalent of "lesbian until graduation" is, and I'm concerned that my efforts are in vain.
But something deep within me thinks I can change him, and the best shot I have is if you leave him the hell alone. Jayson won't tell me anything about you, but I know you'll work your vagina voodoo and take him from me. Please give me my chance. I love him. I really do.
Here's one. Please don't mod this redundant when (if?) the site ever gets back online. --- Author's Note: Brilliant suggestions for this one were made by Kate Guttman. Subject: Re: Re: Re: job application
To: perumal perumal
From: Jonathan Land
Date: 02/20/2001
At 12:36 PM +0000 2/20/01, perumal perumal wrote:
Dear Mr. Jonathan Land
Well received your e-mail tks noted. this my reply for your questions.
Question 1) your company professionalitic approch and adharence to latest technology, really attracted me. Also you are Quench to finout the real reasonce behind every event (happening) has made my options simple and easy.
Yes, we do pride ourselves in being ahead of the curve in everything from new technology to abstract stitching theory. There's no point in being professionalitic if you're keeping your behind in the times. Good eye, my boy!
Question 2) My professional qualifications in garment manufacturing technology and 4 long years of work experience incatering the neeeds of world renowmad brand's like Wal-Mart, Jc-Penney, Tommy Hilfiger,Total kidswear, Hudson Bay, etc., extensive connectings with leading spinning & knitting mills, leading quality manufacturing production units in India.
When you say "4 long years", I'm not sure what you mean. Are "long years" a different measurement on the Indian calendar? How many American years is one Indian long year? Are you guys on some sort of metric system there (10 days to a week, 10 weeks to a month, 10 months to a year)?
Question 3) As a loyal exployee have to be faithful to my employer, hence i will try my level best traceout the culprit. I will not revel my employer's instructions to anybody in the organisations or outside. It wil be kept as confidencial mater.
Question 4) " 1 " ( i don't want to be behind of anybody)
Well, then you should have said "10" because you will now be earning 1 dollar an hour. I'd like to point out that this is perfectly legal, and contractually binding, by the way.
Question 5) I would like to spend my timing for the young orphance who are denied the love and care of the parents.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS????!!!!! How the fuck did you fucking find the fuck out that I'm a fucking orphan? FUCK!!! People around here think my bloodline is rich with both aristocracy and nobility. Your intense research into the company has crossed the line now that it's delved into my personal life.
Well here's the rest of the story... the part that they didn't publish in the papers. It was one of your people that took my parents away. It was a dark and stormy night back when I was only 7 years old. They took me down to the "Little India" part of New York City around 27th and Lexington to score some coke from Niketu Kothadia, one of the notorious leaders of the Indian Mafia Boyz, an outfit so well organized that they even have a website. Can you dig it? Here they are flaunting the success of their various businesses, each one more illegal than its predecessor, each one fronting a market blacker than the next: http://members.tripod.com/digitalbiz/chill.html
Anyway, Kothadia got a fresh batch of stuff in so of course, mommy and daddy had to try it... what wasn't known was that it was cut with pure yellow curry. I dropped my beanie and my large spiral lollypop on the floor looking at something shiny. By the time I adjusted my back brace into the upright position, I saw mommy and daddy foaming at the nose and mouth, it was a dark, dark yellow, darker than the most scorching urine or most dark yellowist of beers. Then the rebel forces barged in and shot everyone... except me.
Needless to say I'm scarred for life. When they do a news story on that new curry-alternative to mustard gas, I cringe. When I see a movie with Tim Curry, I gasp (but really, who doesn't). When I curry favor, I have a flashback that makes LSD look as effective as a food stamp.
I have a restraining order from every Indian restaurant in a 100 mile radius.
Are you happy now???? ARE YOU HAPPY? I'm an orphan... wooo!!!
Watch your back. If I ever catch up with you, I'm going to go all Bruce Wayne on your ass!
We're not hiring at this point in time, Nosy Nelly,
With all due respect, your statement There is lots of P2P Research going on is about as dumb as saying "There was a lot of relational database research in the 1970s".
P2P is the latest big hit in the software/networking realm. Email's old-school these days, the Web's getting tiresome, but P2P is THE exciting new technology.
I've said this before and I'll say it again -- FEATURE REQUESTS!
Users are continually requesting new features to be implemented in their favorite software packages. Of course this is going to add overhead, increased memory and disk space requirements, etc.
As someone working on a product, it's your job (and you take pride in) satisfying those who use your program. If they "ask nicely" for new capabilities, you try your darndest to give them to 'em. Sometimes, just "getting it right" is more important than bug testing or tweaking/streamlining your code; you're too busy working on the next task at hand.
Slashdot Mirror
1) Locate a newly-posted article ;-) from a few weeks or months ago
2) Search Slashdot for a similar article about the same topic (or something vaguely similar
3) Find a 4- or 5-rated comment, change a few words around (i.e. "Bill Gates" -> "Microsoft CEO", "insightful" -> "interesting", etc.), and repost as your own! This technique has been proven to work time and time again, and it can be yours AT ABSOLUTELY NO COST!
N.B. - "No cost" does not include lawyer fees for plagairism/I.P. trials
erickrout.com
This is why we need to encourage popular and/or talented artists to fight the system. Aside from instrument and recording costs, distributing CDs via an online store or allowing song downloads at $1.00 a piece isn't really all that costly.
I could honestly see Radiohead or TMBG doing something like this in the future. Who knows, with the way Michael Jackson is acting in his current smear campaign against Sony Music, perhaps even the big-name pop artists will ditch the record companies some day. However, this won't happen until the corporations stop "blowing" the radio DJs (sorry for the crude analogy) to make them play their artists' songs 17 times a day.
w w w . e r i c k r o u t . c o m
You're confusing the music business and plain old music itself.
CDs cost $20 US because of all the middlemen that take their cuts -- managers, producers, advertisers, etc.
I've heard plenty of "good music" that people created essentially at no cost, aside from the time it takes to practice a bit and to foster their musical talent.
w w w . e r i c k r o u t . c o m
omg lol u r'nt either b/c u cant read or right hahahaha rotflmao ttyl
Posted by timothy on Wednesday March 27, @08:56AM
:-P
from the no-more-anonymity dept.
Giving someone your cellphone number and then wanting to remain "anonymous" when they call you strikes me as particularly odd, if not maniacal
got mono?
I suppose you think racial jokes and making fun of homosexuals is funny, too?
Nerdiness of Slashdot + Intelligence of K5
Cute, but your little joke about the arts dog is pure nonsense and isn't a healthy paradigm.
I've performed at Carnegie Hall and will receive an engineering degree next spring (and I can probably beat 9.9/10 people in basketball on average). I also go to school with people who are pre-med and play violin in the orchestra, etc etc etc. There are numerous examples of multi-talented people who aren't just "computer geeks" or "math nerds".
I realize your comment was a joke and you were searching for the ever-elusive +5, Funny rating, but at the same time you should reflect on your stereotypical and misinformed viewpoint.
Peace, Love, Linux
Because we don't want you on our planet anymore.
m o n o l i n u x
Dear China,
:: Some Really 1337 Sh*t ;-)
1959 called. They went their space technology back.
Thanks,
- Slashdot
|\/|0|\|0|_||\|UX
Wow, that's really interesting! I didn't realize that it was Apple who actually wrote the entire BSD/Mach kernel. And in four years, nonetheless -- truly an amazing feat!
:: No Rights Reserved.
*Slap* You friggin' moron.
m o n o l i n u x
This is total bullshit. I just got one of these in the mail today, and if GoDaddy (my registrar) hadn't warned me about it a few days ago, I may have filled it out and sent Verisign $30.
:: Have You Had Your Linux News Today?
This is an incredibly sketchy practice on the part of Verisign and it pissed me off (as I'm sure it does many of you). Imagine if the U.S. government or IRS sent notices like this that said "Warning: If you don't send us X amount of dollars by March 31st, you will be in danger of facing criminal prosecution".
I mean, this is essentially what Verisign is doing, but the fact that they're a bunch of uber-capitalist business pigs^H^H^H^Hmen, it is somehow legal.
m o n o l i n u x
Of course I didn't pay. That's what a grappling hook thrown onto the roof of the movie theater and then smashing the solar panel on the roof while simultaneously dropping a few capsules of sleeping gas down at the ushers takes care of.
;-)
:: Got Mono?
It was a great film, but the snoring started to get a little annoying after awhile
m o n o l i n u x
Sure, this is a funny little skit Jon has going on, and I understand that this particular Slashdot story is just for shits and giggles.
But if all of us reported every single piece of unsolicited email that we got to SpamCop (or a similar service if you know of one), the whole world'd be a lot better off.
We need to be kind of harsh toward these spammers who take advantage of open relays in China and such while clogging our mailboxes. Rather than just replying with hateful words, or deleting the messages, let's all take steps to end this crap for real (because the legislation to make spam illegal certainly isn't moving very quickly).
mono
Please don't mod this as redundant when (if?) the guy's site comes back to life. Thanks.
.......Very Attractive!
Author's Note: Spam donated by Jeff Hobbs. Subject: Re: Are You a BOWLER? Check Out the HOTTEST NEW BOWLING BALL!
To: joebowler@skybiz.com, itstrikes@bigfoot.com
From: Jonathan Land
Date: 02/13/2002
How would you like to be the first in your bowling league to get your hands on the newest bowling ball from this innovative company? This new ball comes with a multi-density weight block with 800 grit sanded surface. This ball is so versatile, you can use it out of the box for heavy oil, or it can be shined to combat any condition. This ball has a very controlled break-point, which means higher scores and predictability.
Just some technical data for the serious bowler:
Radius of Gyration - Medium (2.530)
Differential - Medium (.050)
Hook Potential - 20 / 14 Dull/ Shiny on a scale of 1-20
Track Flare Potential - 6.5
Factory Finish Length - 6 on a scale of 1-10
Factory Finish Back-End - 8 on a scale of 1-10
Composition - Highly Reactive Urethane
Color - Lemon / Lime
D-Scale - 76-78 Hardness
So if you would like some more information on this brand new product and want to be the envy of all your league bowlers, simply contact us at itstrikes@bigfoot.com and put "More Info Wanted" in the subject line and we will send along a website and some information about how to reserve yours today!
Hello,
I'd like to counter your proposition with another: How would YOU like to be the first in YOUR industry to get a piece of the newest innovative sport: Extreme Vertical Bowling.
We're looking for a manufacturer for league balls. These will have to be custom made to withstand several drops from approximately 10,000 ft in the air.
This is how it works in a nutshell: The bowlers will be outfitted with a ball and a parachute. For each frame, the bowlers are loaded onto a plane that climbs to 12,000 ft. Once the bowler jumps from the plane with ball in hand, they have 2,000 feet to release it, or they're "over the line". Then, and only then, are they allowed to pull the ripcord for their parachute. Repeat times 10.
They'll be aiming at 10 pins secured vertically over a 4x4 ft. target. The target itself will be made out of industrial strength Nerf, so the ball should be fine. However, dependant on how far off target our bowlers are (a.k.a. throwing a "craterball"), the ball could be landing on a variety of surfaces.
Can you please let me know if such a ball is feasible?
Jonathan Land
CEO, Extreme Vertical Bowling, LLC.
P.S. I know, what you're thinking... you're thinking: "Can't people get hurt like this?" I mean, really, any sporting event can go haywire... look at how many stray golf balls give folks concussions!
Again, please don't mod this redundant when (if?) his site gets back online....
---
Author's Note: Thanks to Jeff Hobbs for sharing his bounty. I know it's not spam, but misdirected email is good enough for me. All the comments and replies are from Jeff, I chime in as Bubs. Subject: A word about Jayson
To: Amos304@aol.com
From: Jeff Hobbs / Jonathan Land
Date: 05/19/2001
I've been getting misdirected email from this girl for a while:
> hey stranger. sorry it has taken me soooo long to write back. I have been a
> very very busy crazy woman. I did go out last week. and had a lot of fun.
> oh, by the way we're all going out next Saturday to celebrate my birthday,
> Stella's birthday, and Courtney's (nurse in family medicine) birthday. but
> mainly for my 30th. if you're not doing anything you're more than welcome to
> come on down. i'm having a slumber party at my house for those that can't
> drive home or that live too far away.
> How are you and your girlfriend getting along? is it any better? I sure
> hope so. you are such a sweet good looking guy. you shouldn't have problems
> like these already in life. Life is tooo short. Well my ex and i pretty
> much don't speak at all to one another any more. or should i say since
> easter. i don't know what his problem is. one minute he tells me we have to
> get along for emily's sake and we'll be friends. the next he's telling to
> get the hell out of the house and not come back. see, i still have a lot of
> stuff still at the house. because when i moved out he told me that it might
> be only for a short period and that way i wouldn't have so much to move back
> if we decided to get back together. well needless to say we decided not to
> get back together. which really i have never been happier. he just makes it
> tough for me because like i said one minute he says i can depend on him
> (which at times i really don't want to feel like i have to depend on him, i
> want to be able to do on my own) and then i have to wait and wait until he
> can do something for me at his convienece. I have pretty much stopped doing
> that. and it has made it easier. for example like changing the oil in my
> car.
> Every other weekend he has emily. and at least one night my girlfriend
> and i go out. and i hear flack from him about that. he doesn't believe in
> going out especially to bars!!!! you know me, I'm a people person. actually
> i don;t go out to drink, you can ask tracey when we're out people will ask
> where i'm at and tracey will point to the dance floor. that's what i love to
> do is DANCE!!!! it's also good exercise. ha ha. so, has your company sent
> you anyplace else lately? i better go for now it's getting late. email me
> soon. if you would like to come down for the party let me know and we can
> celebrate your birthday too. Tracey and Karen(from work) are going to have a
> big cookout at my house before we go out so no one goes out on an empty
> stomach. and of course we'll be drinking before we go out. Karen talked
> about making Jell-o shots. who knows what will happen, this should make for
> an interesting evening to say the least. Stella is coming down from PA.
> anyway just let me know and if you want to stay as well you're more than
> welcome. talk to you soon.
>
> Love,
> Amy
>
which I generally ignore and you can probably tell why. Then I get this last week:
> Jayson,
>
> hey you. whatcha been upto? i haven't heard back from you in ages. just
> worried about you. i figure your busy. just checking on you. you haven't
> been to the office since you went to florida. did they keep you down there?
> or probably had too much fun. so, how have you been doing? oh, by the way
> "HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY"!!!!! how was your birthday. mine to say the least
> was interesting. HA HA!!! the girls at the office were asking if i had heard
> from you anymore and you hadn't been in the office. see, we keep track of the
> good reps that come in. better go for now. keep in touch.
>
> Amy
So in a fit of random evil, I send her this:
> Amy,
>
> The reason you haven't heard from me in a while is I've been in jail. I really
> don't want to talk about it, and if you ever ask me about it in person, I'll
> completely deny it.
>
>Jayson
and I sort of forgot about it until I got this today:
> Jayson,
>
> i'm sorry to here that. no problem. i was just concerned that's all. i
> won't pressure you, but if you ever need to talk i'm always here. and i mean
> that.
>
> sincerely,
> Amy
so I'm thinking that instead of just being moderately evil and fucking with this guy Jayson's life, I could be all out evil and ask The Master, Jon Land, if he would compose a short missive to Amy and maybe explain his jail time a bit more.
Or is that too much? I don't know anymore. Anyway, Jon, I'll forget that 10$ if you whip out a letter to Amy.
~Jeff
Dear Amy,
I'm not a particularly jealous man, but I couldn't help notice the highly sexual tones of your correspondence with Jayson. I know I shouldn't be reading his email, but when the warden called him out of the library for a cigarette deal, he had me fight off all the other inmates who were vying for the computer he was using, and I just couldn't help myself.
Since Jayson is my roommate, my best friend, and my lover (better known to folks on the outside as "prison bitch"), I am very protective of the special relationship that we have.
Let me introduce myself. My name is Bubs, it's short for Bubba, you know, like the President... although theoretically there should be a new President in office by now. By the time all the news gets edited and shown to us (we're consistently 2 years behind the times) a lot changes in the world.... we might as well have been living in Sweden! Just because we're in the psych ward, they think we can't handle it, but we can FUCKING HANDLE IT!!! WE FUCKING CAN!
I really am worried that as soon as Jayjay gets out of here he'll forget me and return to women. His return to a life of crime is a given. I can't imagine that the Italians that he used to get his stuff from would touch him with a 10-foot pole though. I know he's into chicks and he's just with me for the power, and I've tried to make myself more feminine for him. Unfortunately, while the fatty foods that they feed us to keep us sluggish and docile have formed supple man-boobs on my doughy, tender flesh, I think he's... whatever the male, prison equivalent of "lesbian until graduation" is, and I'm concerned that my efforts are in vain.
But something deep within me thinks I can change him, and the best shot I have is if you leave him the hell alone. Jayson won't tell me anything about you, but I know you'll work your vagina voodoo and take him from me. Please give me my chance. I love him. I really do.
He's coming back. Bye,
Bubs
Here's one. Please don't mod this redundant when (if?) the site ever gets back online.
---
Author's Note: Brilliant suggestions for this one were made by Kate Guttman. Subject: Re: Re: Re: job application
To: perumal perumal
From: Jonathan Land
Date: 02/20/2001
At 12:36 PM +0000 2/20/01, perumal perumal wrote:
Dear Mr. Jonathan Land
Well received your e-mail tks noted. this my reply for your questions.
Question 1) your company professionalitic approch and adharence to latest technology, really attracted me. Also you are Quench to finout the real reasonce behind every event (happening) has made my options simple and easy.
Yes, we do pride ourselves in being ahead of the curve in everything from new technology to abstract stitching theory. There's no point in being professionalitic if you're keeping your behind in the times. Good eye, my boy!
Question 2) My professional qualifications in garment manufacturing technology and 4 long years of work experience incatering the neeeds of world renowmad brand's like Wal-Mart, Jc-Penney, Tommy Hilfiger,Total kidswear, Hudson Bay, etc., extensive connectings with leading spinning & knitting mills, leading quality manufacturing production units in India.
When you say "4 long years", I'm not sure what you mean. Are "long years" a different measurement on the Indian calendar? How many American years is one Indian long year? Are you guys on some sort of metric system there (10 days to a week, 10 weeks to a month, 10 months to a year)?
Question 3) As a loyal exployee have to be faithful to my employer, hence i will try my level best traceout the culprit. I will not revel my employer's instructions to anybody in the organisations or outside. It wil be kept as confidencial mater.
Question 4) " 1 " ( i don't want to be behind of anybody)
Well, then you should have said "10" because you will now be earning 1 dollar an hour. I'd like to point out that this is perfectly legal, and contractually binding, by the way.
Question 5) I would like to spend my timing for the young orphance who are denied the love and care of the parents.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS????!!!!! How the fuck did you fucking find the fuck out that I'm a fucking orphan? FUCK!!! People around here think my bloodline is rich with both aristocracy and nobility. Your intense research into the company has crossed the line now that it's delved into my personal life.
Well here's the rest of the story... the part that they didn't publish in the papers. It was one of your people that took my parents away. It was a dark and stormy night back when I was only 7 years old. They took me down to the "Little India" part of New York City around 27th and Lexington to score some coke from Niketu Kothadia, one of the notorious leaders of the Indian Mafia Boyz, an outfit so well organized that they even have a website. Can you dig it? Here they are flaunting the success of their various businesses, each one more illegal than its predecessor, each one fronting a market blacker than the next: http://members.tripod.com/digitalbiz/chill.html
Anyway, Kothadia got a fresh batch of stuff in so of course, mommy and daddy had to try it... what wasn't known was that it was cut with pure yellow curry. I dropped my beanie and my large spiral lollypop on the floor looking at something shiny. By the time I adjusted my back brace into the upright position, I saw mommy and daddy foaming at the nose and mouth, it was a dark, dark yellow, darker than the most scorching urine or most dark yellowist of beers. Then the rebel forces barged in and shot everyone... except me.
Needless to say I'm scarred for life. When they do a news story on that new curry-alternative to mustard gas, I cringe. When I see a movie with Tim Curry, I gasp (but really, who doesn't). When I curry favor, I have a flashback that makes LSD look as effective as a food stamp.
I have a restraining order from every Indian restaurant in a 100 mile radius.
Are you happy now???? ARE YOU HAPPY? I'm an orphan... wooo!!!
Watch your back. If I ever catch up with you, I'm going to go all Bruce Wayne on your ass!
We're not hiring at this point in time, Nosy Nelly,
Jonathan Land
What don't you understand? (Oh, wait, your reading compression is so poor that you probably won't understand what I'm talking about. Nevermind then.)
With all due respect, your statement There is lots of P2P Research going on is about as dumb as saying "There was a lot of relational database research in the 1970s".
P2P is the latest big hit in the software/networking realm. Email's old-school these days, the Web's getting tiresome, but P2P is THE exciting new technology.
My name's Eric and I'm addicted to Slashdot.
(FP)
Did everyone forget about this already?
Peace, Love, Linux
I don't care!
(2 accounts capped at 50)
:-/
I found this via Google recently:/ ownufo.htm
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/pagrosse
A feasible project?
All Linux. No ads.
Another karma-busting post.
:-)
OK, I'm going now. I'll be back on Monday. Time to get some more stuff done
See you all later
The latest Linux-Mandrake version 8.2 allows you to perform a base install that only consumes 65MB of disk space. See my user info for a link.
m o n o l i n u x
I've said this before and I'll say it again -- FEATURE REQUESTS!
:: See For Yourself What Everyone's Talking About
Users are continually requesting new features to be implemented in their favorite software packages. Of course this is going to add overhead, increased memory and disk space requirements, etc.
As someone working on a product, it's your job (and you take pride in) satisfying those who use your program. If they "ask nicely" for new capabilities, you try your darndest to give them to 'em. Sometimes, just "getting it right" is more important than bug testing or tweaking/streamlining your code; you're too busy working on the next task at hand.
m o n o l i n u x