Domain: doctornerdlove.com
Stories and comments across the archive that link to doctornerdlove.com.
Comments · 6
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Re: You're there to hack
Guy A walks up and says something and it's creepy behavior because she isn't into him. Guy B, who she is into, walks up and says the same thing and it was cute, or sexy, or what have you.
Oh boy. That's not even wrong.
Look, if you're interested in learning, there are a lot of people on the internet who have devoted many column inches to this, and are better writers than me.
http://www.doctornerdlove.com/...
If you ask woman in bars they will also say they deal with a lot of creepy behavior, because just like at the convention there will be a lot of guys she isn't into and a few that she does want to hit on her. End of story.
Er right, so that guy who came up to someone I know in a bar and proffered a drink in his hand, then got very insistent and pushy, then left the drink behing and left---I guess she thought that was incredibly creepy because "she wasn't into him".
You know either that or she didn't feel like getting roofied.
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Re:This has to be a 4chan joke...
In this story, though, it's our boy's wife who's got no problem finding fresh cocks to hop. He, however, seems to be begging every woman in sight...and failing. They only report to HR when it's Fred Armisen, not Tom Brady hitting on them.
You sound absolutely overwhelmed with jealousy and bitterness. By the way, an SNL skit is not evidence. The fact that you think that it's OK for hot guys displays a deep sense of entitlement. You are saying that YOUR desire to get what you want overrides HER desire to not be creeped on, but that you deserve it because other people can do it. The reason you can't successfully do it is very likely that your sense of entitlement is leaking through.
Anyway, here is a ver nice rebuttal of your claim that it's OK if Ton Brady does it:
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Just read some. About nervousness, practice
I wasn't familiar with doctornerdlove, but I was curious what you were talking about so I just read two of his posts. I was generally nodding in agreement with those two.
The first one I read was his post about being nervous that you'll be awkward, a self-fullfilling prophecy:
http://www.doctornerdlove.com/...
I don't disgaree with what he says; I will add a specific instruction, a process, for how to avoid it. Whenever I was in line, at the grocery store or whatever, I would make conversation with whomever was behind me, in front of me, and the cashier. 90% of the time it wasn't a lady I was attracted to. Maybe it's a grandma 30 years older than me, maybe a couple of frat guys, firefighters getting groceries for the fire station, whatever. There was much less nervousness complimenting granny's necklace or joking around with frat guys than the same approach with an attractive lady. After 30 days of talking to six people per day, I had struck up conversations with 180 strangers. This was fun in itself; waiting in line is less boring when grandma is telling you about the time she met Elvis. Eventually I was in line behind a lady who looked mildly attractive, and I did exactly the same thing I had done 180 times before. What's there to be nervous about - I do this all day, every day.
The only difference when she's attractive is the closing line, and I know I won't be awkward with that because I know ahead of time exactly what I'll say "I have to get going, but I'd really like to continue this conversation. This week is pretty busy for me, but I think I can take an hour to go to lunch Wednesday or Thursday. Are you free for a quick lunch later this week?"
* After going to lunch with over 100 women, I chose the best one and married her, so I don't flirt much anymore. Now I occassionally apply the principles in other ways.
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Re:If you're an ugly nerd, RTFA and follow directi
I've started perusing Doctor Nerd Love and he seems to have pretty logical advice. Are you familiar with the site? Would you say your experiences and advice match his?
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Re:No shit sherlock ..
And here's the thing, everyone gets to choose their boundaries with everyone else. Complaining someone's boundaries are wrong or unfair is you saying you do not respect their boundaries. And that's when behaviour starts getting into the creepy zone.
Well, no, not everyone sets boundaries which are reasonable to respect. Some people set boundaries which make simple things like saying "hello" or simply being looked as one passes in the hallway "creepy". These are not respectable boundaries.
If you are merely ignorant and want to find out more about such things, then you may find this an enlightening read:
Looks like a reject from Penthouse Letters. I believe this video, while perhaps exaggerating slightly for comic effect, gives a truer picture of the situation.
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Re:No shit sherlock ..
No it doesn't.
Creepy is generally ignoring someone's boundaries. That's what gives the creeper vibe, because you now don't know how they're going to behave and don't know what other boundaries they're going to violate.
And here's the thing, everyone gets to choose their boundaries with everyone else. Complaining someone's boundaries are wrong or unfair is you saying you do not respect their boundaries. And that's when behaviour starts getting into the creepy zone.
If you are merely ignorant and want to find out more about such things, then you may find this an enlightening read: