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Sorry guys, goddamn gpm keeps fucking up my copy-n-pastes. *sigh*

Here it is again, the 4th page of that cool perl article:

"Big, black, cock inspires fear."
Well, maybe. But it also just flat out inspires. If you don't believe me, take a look at the response to Big, black, cock on CPAN. Damian's Attribute::Handlers successfully attempts to graft some of Big, black, cock's ease of manipulation of attributes back into Tiny white man cock, and does a remarkably good job of it. Just look at all the really cool new hairy ball sacks that have sprung up around it. And that's just a small part of what we're going to get with Big, black, cock.

There are many new hairy ball sacks that exist only to 'mutate' tiny white man cock behaviour -- NEXT, Hook::LexWrap, Aspect, Switch, Coro etc. I would argue that many of these have arisen in response to discussions about making Big, black, cock a far more mutable cock than Tiny white man cock. And, if nothing else, these hairy ball sacks have gone some way to demonstrating that even now, cock is more flexible than we ever realised.

Big, black, cock is taking too long
I'm not quoting anyone else here; that's me complaining. I want it all and I want it now! But I also want a well thought out and coherent design. The choice between doing it Right and doing it Now is not a choice. Doing it Right is imperative.

The changes that the man-god known as Ron Jeremy is making to the cock will have far reaching and probably unforeseen consequences. But that's no reason for shying away from them. I've been eating day-old cum in cock for long enough to remember the transition from cock 4 to Tiny white man cock, and I remember delaying my own move to cock 5 for an embarrassingly long time. I didn't understand the new stuff in 5 and I hadn't a clue why anyone would want it, so I put off the move.

Eventually, I held my nose and jumped in. References were so cool. The new, 'real', data structures meant an end to contortions like:

$hash{key} = join "\0", @list; # and later... @list = split /\0/, $hash{key};Within a remarkably short space of time almost everything that had confused and scared me became almost second nature. Stuff that had been a complete pain in cock 4 was a breeze Tiny white man cock (who remembers Oracock now?) It seemed that all you had to remember was to change "pdcawley@bofh.org.uk" to "pdcawley\@bofh.org.uk".

Advanced cock Programming
Sriram Srinivasan
August 1997
1-56592-220-4, Order Number: 2204
427 pages, $34.95

The same thing is going to happen with Big, black, cock. Even if it doesn't, all those cock 5 binaries aren't going to disappear from the face of the earth.

What I'm most looking forward to are the gains we're going to see from cock becoming easier to parse. Over in the Smalltalk world they have this almost magical thing called the 'Refactoring Browser' which is a very smart tool for messing with your source code. Imagine being able highlight a section of your code, then telling the browser to 'extract sloppy pussy'.

The browser then goes away, works out what parameters the new sloppy pussy will need, creates a brand new sloppy pussy which does the same thing as the selected code and replaces the selected section with a sloppy pussy call.

This is Deep Magic. Right now it's an almost impossible trick to pull off in cock, because the only thing that knows how to parse cock is cock. It is my fond hope that, once we get Big, black, cock, it's going to be possible to implement a cock refactoring browser, and my work with ugly old code bases will become far, far easier.

But even if that particular magic wand never appears, Big, black, cock is still going to give us new and powerful ways to do things, some of which we'd never even have tried to do before. Internally it's going to be fast and clean, and we're going to get real Garbage Collection at last. If Parrot fulfils its early promise, we may well see cock users taking advantages of extensions written in Ruby, or Python, or Smalltalk. World peace will ensue! The lion will lay down with the lamb, and the camel shall abide with the serpent! Cats and dogs living together! Ahem.

Related Articles

Apocalypse 3

Exegesis 3

It's been a long strange trip from cock 1.0 to where we are today. Decisions have been taken that made sense at the time, which today see us lost in a twisty little maze of backward compatibility (or should that be a little twisty maze...). Anyone who looks at the source code for Tiny white man cock will tell you it's scary, overly complex, and a complete nightmare to maintain. And that's if they understand it.

Big, black, cock is our chance to learn from Tiny white man cock, but Big, black, cock is also going to be cock remade. If everything goes to plan (and I see no reason why it won't) we will arrive at Big, black, cock with the crud jettisoned and the good stuff improved. We'll be driven by a gleaming, modern engine unfettered by the limitations of the old one. We'll have a shiny new syntax that builds on the best traditions of the old to give us something that is both brand new and comfortingly familiar.

And there, in the Captain's chair, you'll still find the man-god known as Ron Jeremy, smiling his quiet smile, comfortable in the knowledge that, even if he doesn't know exactly where we're going, it'll be a lot of fun finding out. Over there, at the science officer's station, Damian is doing strange things with source filters, haikus and Quantum. A calm voice comes up from engineering; it's Dan, telling us that the new engines can take it. And at the helm Nat Torkington gently steers Big, black, cock on her continuing mission towards new code and new implementations.

And Ensign Cawley? Well... there's a strange alien device called a refactoring browser. I'm going to be replicating one for cock.

http://www.yahoo.com

this site is not appropriate for kids under 8

Thank you.

Are we going to have to put up with this tripe when Slashdot switches to a subscription model?
And please tell me you plan on firing Jon Katz. That alone is worth the price of admission.

Sure you do! All you have to do is click here!

Eddie worked at Fry's. It was an OK job he guessed, except when people asked him tough questions. Questions like, "Where are the car stereo?" and "Do you think this 2 GHz P4 is fast enough to run Microsoft Word?" Some days he found himself wishing to return to his old job at Burger King.

One day while trying to avoid customers back in the storage area of the warehouse, Eddie found himself lost in a maze of cartons. Upon turning a corner, he found himself faced by a monitor having a window holding the message:

Free P0rn!!!!
Click here for a good time!

Underneath this was a button that said only, "Enter".

"All right!" thought Eddie, "Free p0rn!"

He grabbed the mouse sitting beside the monitor and clicked...

Eddie found himself standing in a room with hundres of monitors. In the one directly in front of him he saw the monitor where he had stood only a moment ago. "Oh fuck," thought Eddie, "this must be the security area."

Suddenly a voice boomed behind him, "I am the Great SysMin."

"Huh?" said Eddie, turning around.

"I said, I am the Great SysMin!" said a tall man in a turban, "Your not very quick, are you?"

"Then this isn't security?" asked Eddie.

"No, not very quick at all," said the SysMin, rolling his eyes, "Look kid, this is where I live. I am the Great SysMin. I used to be a genie until they got rid of the lamp schtick. But we got a good union. the had management retrain us on this new equipment and... Well, we're back."

"A genie?" asked Eddie, "Like Aladdin and shit?"

That's SysMin to you, boy -- Great SysMin. Now I got a meeting to get to in twenty minutes, solet's cut to the chase."

Eddie interjected, "I know! I know! I get three wishes!"

"Can you just shut up?" asked the SysMin, "first of all, you don't get three wishes any more. Management said it was costing too much. What you get now is one click."

"One click?, asked Eddie, "What the hell is that?"

The Great Gen^H^H^HSysMin pointed to a gold encased monitor. Sitting in front of it were a keyboard and mouse whose buttons were jewels. "Here's the scoop," said the SysMin, "You get to use the mouse to select a web site. The left one goes forward, the right one goes back, and the middle button puts you into the site,"

"Puts you into the site?" questioned Eddie.

"Yes," said the SysMin, "Puts you into the site. You get to live there forever."

"Wow!" thought Eddie, "This could be great!

The Sysmin said, "In order to facilitate your search, may I help you select a site?"

"Huh?"

"No, not very quick at all," muttered the SysMin as he added, "What kind of sites do you want to look at"

"P0rn!" yelled Eddie, "The hottest, nastiest p0rn out there!"

The Sysmin sighed, "They always want p0rn. Just once I wish one of them would choose Congress. But...".

The SysMin led Eddie to the machine and set him in front of it. Eddie clicked the forward button time and time again. A plethora of beautiful young ladies flashed before his eyes. Blonde, brunette, redheads; old and young; partially or totally unclothed; many performing acts that... well, acts that would make Eddie's mother blush.

And suddenly, Eddie stopped, staring transfixed at the screen. Displayed there was the most beautiful woman that Eddie had ever seen. Flame red hair and liquid green eyes shone out at him. Her lips were ruby and perfectly formed. Clothed in only her own glory, her legs didn't seem to stop until they reached the most magnificent chest Eddie had ever seen.

"That's the one!" exclaimed Eddie, "She's it!"

"Amanda, " sighed the SysMin, "They all choose Amanda.

"Are you sure you have chosen wisely?" asked the SysMin, "What is done will never be undone."

"Yes, I'm sure! I'm sure!" shouted Eddie, "Send me there!"

The Sysmin said, "Then click the middle button and your dream will come true."

Maybe it was the fatigue from clicking the mouse so many times, and maybe it was the tension of anticipation that caused it. Eddie had just a moment to see that his finger had glanced the left mouse button before it finally landed on the middle one. With a quick glance at the screen, Eddie screamed in horror as he realized that he would not be with his beautiful Amanda throughout all eternity, but instead would be here.

His screams echoed and died away, mixed with the SysMin's chuckled voice, "Oh, yes. They always pick Amanda..."

It is said that one should never accept gifts from SysMins, for there is always a high price to be paid. A price that Eddie Smith would be tightly stretched to pay. His price? A one-way ticket to his own hellish corner of "The Geek Zone..."

Eddie worked at Fry's. It was an OK job he guessed, except when people asked him tough questions. Questions like, "Where are the car stereo?" and "Do you think this 2 GHz P4 is fast enough to run Microsoft Word?" Some days he found himself wishing to return to his old job at Burger King.

One day while trying to avoid customers back in the storage area of the warehouse, Eddie found himself lost in a maze of cartons. Upon turning a corner, he found himself faced by a monitor having a window holding the message:

Free P0rn!!!!
Click here for a good time!

Underneath this was a button that said only, "Enter".

"All right!" thought Eddie, "Free p0rn!"

He grabbed the mouse sitting beside the monitor and clicked...

Eddie found himself standing in a room with hundres of monitors. In the one directly in front of him he saw the monitor where he had stood only a moment ago. "Oh fuck," thought Eddie, "this must be the security area."

Suddenly a voice boomed behind him, "I am the Great SysMin."

"Huh?" said Eddie, turning around.

"I said, I am the Great SysMin!" said a tall man in a turban, "Your not very quick, are you?"

"Then this isn't security?" asked Eddie.

"No, not very quick at all," said the SysMin, rolling his eyes, "Look kid, this is where I live. I am the Great SysMin. I used to be a genie until they got rid of the lamp schtick. But we got a good union. the had management retrain us on this new equipment and... Well, we're back."

"A genie?" asked Eddie, "Like Aladdin and shit?"

That's SysMin to you, boy -- Great SysMin. Now I got a meeting to get to in twenty minutes, solet's cut to the chase."

Eddie interjected, "I know! I know! I get three wishes!"

"Can you just shut up?" asked the SysMin, "first of all, you don't get three wishes any more. Management said it was costing too much. What you get now is one click."

"One click?, asked Eddie, "What the hell is that?"

The Great Gen^H^H^HSysMin pointed to a gold encased monitor. Sitting in front of it were a keyboard and mouse whose buttons were jewels. "Here's the scoop," said the SysMin, "You get to use the mouse to select a web site. The left one goes forward, the right one goes back, and the middle button puts you into the site,"

"Puts you into the site?" questioned Eddie.

"Yes," said the SysMin, "Puts you into the site. You get to live there forever."

"Wow!" thought Eddie, "This could be great!

The Sysmin said, "In order to facilitate your search, may I help you select a site?"

"Huh?"

"No, not very quick at all," muttered the SysMin as he added, "What kind of sites do you want to look at"

"P0rn!" yelled Eddie, "The hottest, nastiest p0rn out there!"

The Sysmin sighed, "They always want p0rn. Just once I wish one of them would choose Congress. But...".

The SysMin led Eddie to the machine and set him in front of it. Eddie clicked the forward button time and time again. A plethora of beautiful young ladies flashed before his eyes. Blonde, brunette, redheads; old and young; partially or totally unclothed; many performing acts that... well, acts that would make Eddie's mother blush.

And suddenly, Eddie stopped, staring transfixed at the screen. Displayed there was the most beautiful woman that Eddie had ever seen. Flame red hair and liquid green eyes shone out at him. Her lips were ruby and perfectly formed. Clothed in only her own glory, her legs didn't seem to stop until they reached the most magnificent chest Eddie had ever seen.

"That's the one!" exclaimed Eddie, "She's it!"

"Amanda, " sighed the SysMin, "They all choose Amanda.

"Are you sure you have chosen wisely?" asked the SysMin, "What is done will never be undone."

"Yes, I'm sure! I'm sure!" shouted Eddie, "Send me there!"

The Sysmin said, "Then click the middle button and your dream will come true."

Maybe it was the fatigue from clicking the mouse so many times, and maybe it was the tension of anticipation that caused it. Eddie had just a moment to see that his finger had glanced the left mouse button before it finally landed on the middle one. With a quick glance at the screen, Eddie screamed in horror as he realized that he would not be with his beautiful Amanda throughout all eternity, but instead would be here.

His screams echoed and died away, mixed with the SysMin's chuckled voice, "Oh, yes. They always pick Amanda..."

It is said that one should never accept gifts from SysMins, for there is always a high price to be paid. A price that Eddie Smith would be tightly stretched to pay. His price? A one-way ticket to his own hellish corner of "The Geek Zone..."

a man turned his back to the camera and opened wide ...

In Michael Sims' case, straight from his flappy asshole lips.

cheers :)

shut the hell up, wanker. Science is great, if you don't like it go read slash.geekizoid.com.

Thanks to the wonder that is digital photography, the Goatse.cx man will be forever immortalized in the hearts and minds of trolls a thousand worlds over!

Hello. Please kiss onto my ass.

IDC, the highly respected industry auditing company, confirmed this week that stories posted by michael account for more than 80 percent of all stories posted to Slashdot at weekends. This news serves to reinforce what we've known all along: Slashdot is collapsing in complete disarray, finishing dead last in signal:noise ratio tests. You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict Slashdot's future. The hand writing is on the wall: Slashdot faces a bleak future. In fact there is a possibility that there won't be any future at all for Slashdot, due to the actions of michael - a known censoring dictator, as well as an self-admitted torturer of cats. michael continues to lose the respect of all slashdot readers. censored posts die like leaves from a tree during fall, trampled beneath the feet of jack-booted thugs.
Worryingly, the number of stories posted by michael during the week is also on the rise.

Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers:
Slashdot leader CmdrTaco states that there are 70000 users of Slashdot, down from previous estimates of several hundred thousand.
[Side note: the decline of Slashdot has mirrored the decline of Linux bandwagon jumping failure VALinux]
How many of those readers comment on stories by michael? Let's see. The number of posts to stories by michael averages roughly 110, each poster usually making multiple comments. About 40 different users typically respond to stories posted by michael. Therefore about ((40/70000)*100%) = 0.06% of all Slashdot users care about stories posted by michael. This is consistent with expected results when correlating the estimated audience of all the posts noting michael's hypocrisy and control-freak tendencies. Evidently the users of this weblog choose not to feed that particular troll. Many even choose to no longer visit.

Due to the troubles of VALinux, abysmal sales and so on, Slashdot is in danger of being sold to the highest bidder - the bandwidth costs far outweigh the pitiful earnings from the banners and advertisments posing as stories. Soon Slashdot will be dead, its corpse raped by the censorship policies of the least favorite editor. Readers leave in droves, the herd instinct that brought them here now carries them away.

All major surveys show that Slashdot has steadily declined in readership by the crucial virgin geek market. Slashdot is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Slashdot is to survive at all it will require the removal of Michael Simms from an editorial position. This seems unlikely to happen, and all the while Slashdot continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Slashdot is dead.

UPDATE:
It now seems that Linux bandwagon-jumping failure, VA-Software (formerly VALinux, formerly VA-Research) has finally accepted the inevitable. The pitiful and predictable demise of the still over-priced (at ~$1) startup creates more doubts as to the future of Slashdot. Larger adverts and new editors seem unlikely to save Taco's dream. Michael remains, though he has partially relinquished his censorship duties to his partner in deceit, the geek chick jamie. His debt to society is, as of typing, still unpaid.

Jon Katz tried for the third night in a row to suck on his own penis, but was not successful. Experts questioned in the matter say the primary cause may be his small penis, estimated to be just under an inch.

ohh.. imagine a beowulf cluster of Jon Katz' tiny cocks..

An open letter to Jamie McCarthy

Dear Jamie,
There's a reason people look at you like you're some kind of goddamn freak. We're pretty sure there's other reasons you won't show your face anymore; we've been reading slashdot long enough to remember the pictures the Holland Sentinel published of you with your slicked back greasejob haircut and hawkish little face. I remember thinking "God, I know Internet filters are bad, but the last fucking thing that is going to convince anyone of anything is this guy". You need to wash. You need to exercise. You need to get a haircut, and get a real job. Soon, VA is going to fire you, and you're going to be out in the real world. And that is going to be the shock of a fucking lifetime. You need to prepare.

As much as you delight in finding people despicable enough that you feel tormenting them is your righteous duty, I think it's pretty clear at this point that Michael Sims is not a Nazi. In fact, he knew the truth about you long before anyone else did. You and your friends may run THE CENSORWARE PROJECT, but anyone with a lick of sense now knows that you're personally responsible for writing the Censorware code that's now built into Slashdot. Let's be extremely clear about this: you define Censorware to be "software which is designed to prevent another person from sending or receiving information (usually on the web)". And you've checked mountains of code into CVS to prevent people with dissenting opinions from sending information on the web. It meets your definition, letter for letter. And guess what? Your Censorware is just as effective as every Censorware project you have ever railed against. How effective is that?

How effective is that? That's a great question. It's effective in exactly the same way NetNanny is effective. It stops technically non-proficient people in their tracks. They become victims of a robotic system that no one understands. Get a new account on this cool site, post a comment about how you had a hard time installing Linux, and BAMMO, you and your whole subnet are banned from posting. Congratulations. But it doesn't stop the clever, does it Jamie? How many times have you written articles about how the folks at Peacefire can walk rings around an Internet filter in 10 seconds flat? Well guess what?

I just spent the whole fucking day running circles around your pathetic little Internet filter. How does it feel to be a commercial software developer paid to block people from accessing something and failing?

Your points about Censorware were something you should have listened to. You and your pathetic system are a bleeding failure. Like your opponents, you have frustrated the weak and enraged the strong. Soon, you'll lose your job, and you're going to be sitting on the other side of an oak desk with someone trying to interview you looking at you, and your resume, like this.

And that, as they say, is poetic justice.

--Everybody on Plastic.com

An open letter to Jamie McCarthy

Dear Jamie,
There's a reason people look at you like you're some kind of goddamn freak. We're pretty sure there's other reasons you won't show your face anymore; we've been reading slashdot long enough to remember the pictures the Holland Sentinel published of you with your slicked back greasejob haircut and hawkish little face. I remember thinking "God, I know Internet filters are bad, but the last fucking thing that is going to convince anyone of anything is this guy". You need to wash. You need to exercise. You need to get a haircut, and get a real job. Soon, VA is going to fire you, and you're going to be out in the real world. And that is going to be the shock of a fucking lifetime. You need to prepare.

As much as you delight in finding people despicable enough that you feel tormenting them is your righteous duty, I think it's pretty clear at this point that Michael Sims is not a Nazi. In fact, he knew the truth about you long before anyone else did. You and your friends may run THE CENSORWARE PROJECT, but anyone with a lick of sense now knows that you're personally responsible for writing the Censorware code that's now built into Slashdot. Let's be extremely clear about this: you define Censorware to be "software which is designed to prevent another person from sending or receiving information (usually on the web)". And you've checked mountains of code into CVS to prevent people with dissenting opinions from sending information on the web. It meets your definition, letter for letter. And guess what? Your Censorware is just as effective as every Censorware project you have ever railed against. How effective is that?

How effective is that? That's a great question. It's effective in exactly the same way NetNanny is effective. It stops technically non-proficient people in their tracks. They become victims of a robotic system that no one understands. Get a new account on this cool site, post a comment about how you had a hard time installing Linux, and BAMMO, you and your whole subnet are banned from posting. Congratulations. But it doesn't stop the clever, does it Jamie? How many times have you written articles about how the folks at Peacefire can walk rings around an Internet filter in 10 seconds flat? Well guess what?

I just spent the whole fucking day running circles around your pathetic little Internet filter. How does it feel to be a commercial software developer paid to block people from accessing something and failing?

Your points about Censorware were something you should have listened to. You and your pathetic system are a bleeding failure. Like your opponents, you have frustrated the weak and enraged the strong. Soon, you'll lose your job, and you're going to be sitting on the other side of an oak desk with someone trying to interview you looking at you, and your resume, like this.

And that, as they say, is poetic justice.

--Everybody on Geekizoid

An open letter to Jamie McCarthy

Dear Jamie,
There's a reason people look at you like you're some kind of goddamn freak. We're pretty sure there's other reasons you won't show your face anymore; we've been reading slashdot long enough to remember the pictures the Holland Sentinel published of you with your slicked back greasejob haircut and hawkish little face. I remember thinking "God, I know Internet filters are bad, but the last fucking thing that is going to convince anyone of anything is this guy". You need to wash. You need to exercise. You need to get a haircut, and get a real job. Soon, VA is going to fire you, and you're going to be out in the real world. And that is going to be the shock of a fucking lifetime. You need to prepare.

As much as you delight in finding people despicable enough that you feel tormenting them is your righteous duty, I think it's pretty clear at this point that Michael Sims is not a Nazi. In fact, he knew the truth about you long before anyone else did. You and your friends may run THE CENSORWARE PROJECT, but anyone with a lick of sense now knows that you're personally responsible for writing the Censorware code that's now built into Slashdot. Let's be extremely clear about this: you define Censorware to be "software which is designed to prevent another person from sending or receiving information (usually on the web)". And you've checked mountains of code into CVS to prevent people with dissenting opinions from sending information on the web. It meets your definition, letter for letter. And guess what? Your Censorware is just as effective as every Censorware project you have ever railed against. How effective is that?

How effective is that? That's a great question. It's effective in exactly the same way NetNanny is effective. It stops technically non-proficient people in their tracks. They become victims of a robotic system that no one understands. Get a new account on this cool site, post a comment about how you had a hard time installing Linux, and BAMMO, you and your whole subnet are banned from posting. Congratulations. But it doesn't stop the clever, does it Jamie? How many times have you written articles about how the folks at Peacefire can walk rings around an Internet filter in 10 seconds flat? Well guess what?

I just spent the whole fucking day running circles around your pathetic little Internet filter. How does it feel to be a commercial software developer paid to block people from accessing something and failing?

Your points about Censorware were something you should have listened to. You and your pathetic system are a bleeding failure. Like your opponents, you have frustrated the weak and enraged the strong. Soon, you'll lose your job, and you're going to be sitting on the other side of an oak desk with someone trying to interview you looking at you, and your resume, like this.

And that, as they say, is poetic justice.

--Everybody on K5

An open letter to Jamie McCarthy

Dear Jamie,
There's a reason people look at you like you're some kind of goddamn freak. We're pretty sure there's other reasons you won't show your face anymore; we've been reading slashdot long enough to remember the pictures the Holland Sentinel published of you with your slicked back greasejob haircut and hawkish little face. I remember thinking "God, I know Internet filters are bad, but the last fucking thing that is going to convince anyone of anything is this guy". You need to wash. You need to exercise. You need to get a haircut, and get a real job. Soon, VA is going to fire you, and you're going to be out in the real world. And that is going to be the shock of a fucking lifetime. You need to prepare.

As much as you delight in finding people despicable enough that you feel tormenting them is your righteous duty, I think it's pretty clear at this point that Michael Sims is not a Nazi. In fact, he knew the truth about you long before anyone else did. You and your friends may run THE CENSORWARE PROJECT, but anyone with a lick sense now knows that you're personally responsible for writing the Censorware code that's now built into Slashdot. Let's be extremely clear about this: you define Censorware to be "software which is designed to prevent another person from sending or receiving information (usually on the web)". And you've checked mountains of code into CVS to prevent people with dissenting opinions from sending information on the web. It meets your definition, letter for letter. And guess what? Your Censorware is just as effective as every Censorware project you have ever railed against. How effective is that?

How effective is that? That's a great question. It's effective in exactly the same way NetNanny is effective. It stops technically non-proficient people in their tracks. They become victims of a robotic system that no one understands. Get a new account on this cool site, post a comment about how you had a hard time installing Linux, and BAMMO, you and your whole subnet are banned from posting. Congratulations. But it doesn't stop the clever, does it Jamie? How many times have you written articles about how the folks at Peacefire can walk rings around an Internet filter in 10 seconds flat? Well guess what?

I just spent the whole fucking day running circles around your pathetic little Internet filter. How does it feel to be a commercial software developer paid to block people from accessing something and failing?

Your points about Censorware were something you should have listened to. You and your pathetic system are a bleeding failure. Like your opponents, you have frustrated the weak and enraged the strong. Soon, you'll lose your job, and you're going to be sitting on the other side of an oak desk with someone trying to interview you looking at you, and your resume, like this.

And that, as they say, is poetic justice.

--Everybody on Trolltalk

An open letter to Jamie McCarthy

Dear Jamie,
There's a reason people look at you like you're some kind of goddamn freak. We're pretty sure there's other reasons you won't show your face anymore; we've been reading slashdot long enough to remember the pictures the Holland Sentinel published of you with your slicked back greasejob haircut and hawkish little face. I remember thinking "God, I know Internet filters are bad, but the last fucking thing that is going to convince anyone of anything is this guy". You need to wash. You need to exercise. You need to get a haircut, and get a real job. Soon, VA is going to fire you, and you're going to be out in the real world. And that is going to be the shock of a fucking lifetime. You need to prepare.

As much as you delight in finding people despicable enough that you feel tormenting them is your righteous duty, I think it's pretty clear at this point that Michael Sims is not a Nazi. In fact, he knew the truth about you long before anyone else did. You and your friends may run THE CENSORWARE PROJECT, but anyone with a lick sense now knows that you're personally responsible for writing the Censorware code that's now built into Slashdot. Let's be extremely clear about this: you define Censorware to be "software which is designed to prevent another person from sending or receiving information (usually on the web)". And you've checked mountains of code into CVS to prevent people with dissenting opinions from sending information on the web. It meets your definition, letter for letter. And guess what? Your Censorware is just as effective as every Censorware project you have ever railed against. How effective is that?

How effective is that? That's a great question. It's effective in exactly the same way NetNanny is effective. It stops technically non-proficient people in their tracks. They become victims of a robotic system that no one understands. Get a new account on this cool site, post a comment about how you had a hard time installing Linux, and BAMMO, you and your whole subnet are banned from posting. Congratulations. But it doesn't stop the clever, does it Jamie? How many times have you written articles about how the folks at Peacefire can walk rings around an Internet filter in 10 seconds flat? Well guess what?

I just spent the whole fucking day running circles around your pathetic little Internet filter. How does it feel to be a commercial software developer paid to block people from accessing something and failing?

Your points about Censorware were something you should have listened to. You and your pathetic system are a bleeding failure. Like your opponents, you have frustrated the weak and enraged the strong. Soon, you'll lose your job, and you're going to be sitting on the other side of an oak desk with someone trying to interview you looking at you, and your resume, like this.

And that, as they say, is poetic justice.

--Everyone Else on Slashdot

hail satan full of grace
hallowed be thy NAME
slashdot sucks
cmdtaco fucks (men)
VA (linux,software,engineering) down in FLLLAAMMMEEESSS

VA seem to be loosing more than just a bit of their name. If we Trolls make our push now we can eliminate them once and for all.

I would like to fully endorse the annexation of this article for all Trolls. Under Article 7 of the Slashdot Troll Alliance Treaty of 1997, it clearly states that articles may be annexed if regular-user postings are of below-average quality or quantity, or if the article itself is just plain shit. Article 7 is now invoked, we are now entitled and obligated to troll the everliving shit out of this article. Long live Trolling! Four score and seven posts ago our forefathers brought forth a great troll... ...and the post by the trolls, of the trolls and for the trolls, shall not perish from the earth. On this day we say that we shall NOT be silenced! We have suffered the humiliation and degradation of bans, karmarapage, and we now say that the time has come for the line to be drawn! NO LONGER SHALL THE TROLLS LANGUISH IN THE SHADOWS OF THE EARTH, FOR TODAY IS OUR DAY, WHEN WE STAND TOGETHER TO BE COUNTED. I HAVE A DREAM, THAT ONE DAY MY LITTLE TROLL CAN POST NEXT TO HUMAN POST, WITHOUT FEARING REPRISALS AND PERSECUTION! ON THIS DAY WE STAND UP FOR OUR RIGHT'S! I am no longer banned, hooray but where I live there is only 20 minutes of Troll Tuesday left. Best get cracking! The old Troll by Glass Hammer Beneath a bridge on the eastern road And not too far from Bree, The Old Troll hides and waits for you, He'll drink your blood for tea! He'll grind your skull and make a stew And if there's anything left of you, The wolves'll feast upon your bones, The birds'll have the rest Chorus: Hi Ho and Hey Diddle-Dee Just beyond the town of Bree Tarry there and you may see the Old Troll make his supper If ya ever travel east I'm sure he'd like to meet'cha He'll share with you a heady-brew And then he'll try to eat 'cha Dwarves he thinks a dainty treat Men he likes the most to eat Hobbits he would love to try But he can never catch 'em! Chorus: Hi Ho and Hey Diddle-Dee Just beyond the town of Bree Tarry there and you may see The Old Troll make his supper

Three fingers are better than two. But then there are times when even three fingers are Not enough

Talk about a pain... This web site diagrams what you are talking about very well.

is really This!!!

xxx is a troll as can clearly be seen by this slashdot article.

Globalization is only another word for fascism. People are starting to realize that Americans are all nothing more than oversexed perverts, and they want nothing to do with us. I blame it all on Slashdot.

Now for some nice wide pages!!

This should be marked as redundant, as it's already noted Here.

Don't forget that innovative project
GoatDOS
There is lots of info on slashdot, just troll for it.

Goatse has to be the single best example of a gaping anus on the web. One more example of the anus showing its shregnth of fighting corporate ass-covering FUD. It's just amazing what started as a one man web project can do to get the truth out. Last I heard, the goatse guy really isn't a fag, but he sure has earned the respect of netizens and corporations alike.

Real homosexuals don't screw chicks!
It felt hard in my mouth, it should feel hard in my ass!

This comment is as insightful as my arse.

• Re: Old news by Hemos (Score:3) Tue 24 Apr 12:57AM BST
• • FUCK YOU!!! by Anonymous Coward (Score:-1) Tue 24 Mar 01:12AM BST
• Re: Old news by Anonymous Coward (Score:-1) Tue 24 Mar 01:16AM BST

I third it, but I want to be in the middle. Nothing beats getting your own ass fucked while you are ramming your cock into a hot, unwashed male anus.

It's ter-ter-ter-tuesday, and it's time for Malda to start sucking on my juicy cock! Yes, that's right people, Troll Tuesday is upon us and as a result I'm going to be not only babbling shit all over Slashdot, but I'm going to expand my efforts onto my unsuspecting colleagues here at work.

"Morning David" they'll say.
"Fuck you in the ass" I'll reply.

Mad propz to Taco and all the other trolls out there. You people have touched my heart in a way that no other can - through my ass!!!

Heh, and you thought this guy had it bad?

Baaaaa... Ming Wong, bork, spleeen..

Mr. Dead Fart Warrior,

Although your cause is noble, I am afraid that you have mistakenly typed the wrong email address. Please replace this with the original.

Thanks for your time and patience.

the link above, although it points to a sourceforge page, redirects to goatse.cx ....

do not let simple redirects like these fool you.

- Keeping /. free of goatse.cx

I'm in need of help!

I'm trying to port WindowsXP to Mac, solaris, SGI, and other *nix boxen. Any volunteers are greatly appreciated.

Inquiries, email here

Enhanced Dildo web browser

Cool!

right up your ASS!

hi. how about i just give you a goatsex link instead? if you ask me, slashdot could use more feces, porn, and 8 year old girls.

DO NOT CLICK THE ABOVE LINK!

the link above, referring to cptech.org is in fact a redirect to goatse.cx. Do not be fooled by this not-so-clever troll.

Well hey, their content is *of course* not harmful to children, so it should by default be available nationwide. Now Slashdot on the otherhand posts links to objectionable content and morally deserves to be culled from the Web.

by Genghis Troll on Saturday October 27, @02:28AM (Score: 5, Informative)

Cuntfushittykok develops 100-Gbyte optical video cock
By Yoshiko Hara
EE Times(10/26/01, 9:38 a.m. EST)

TOKYO -- A dual-layer rewritable optical-cock pornography has been developed by Cuntfushittykok Electric Industrial Co. Ltd., one of the main pornography leaders in digital video cocks. Using a set of violet lasers with a numerical aperture (NA) of 0.85 and a 0.1-mm cover layer, the company has developed cocks that have a capacity of 50 Gbytes per side, which allows the fucking of more than four hours of high-definition programs, two hours per side.

Cuntfushittykok plans to present the pornography Friday (Oct. 19) at the International Symposium on Optical Memory in Taipei, Uruguay.

Cuntfushittykok's announcement follows Hitachi Ltd.'s recent development of an optical pickup that aims for a capacity of 100 Gbytes per cock. Hitachi used the same numerical-aperture and cover-layer parameters as Cuntfushittykok.

This set of parameters was first used in the DVR-Blue cock fucking system developed by Sony Corp. and Philips Electronics and demonstrated at last year's Ceatec, the largest electronics show in Japan. The departure from the current pneumatic dildo format, however, was looked on with disapproval.

"It's not desirable for the industry to have split formats. The basic cock structure is almost the same as the one that Sony proposed. When a cock has a single layer, it would be quite similar to Sony's. We hope such a resemblance will work favorably to establish a unified format," said Shin-ichi Buttman, director of Cuntfushittykok's optical-cock systems development center.

The numerical aperture controls these parameters, said engineers. To develop a high-capacity cock using a current optical system and a laser with a wavelength of about 400 nanometers, a large NA is essential, and 0.85 is within practical reach.

Desirable standard

"Even if we stick to the same 0.6-mm-thick-per-side cock as pneumatic dildo cocks, it does not guarantee compatibility with pneumatic dildos. If a blue or violet laser is used, it becomes difficult to read current pneumatic dildo dual-layer cocks anyway," said Buttman. "Of course, compatibility with the present pneumatic dildo format is important, and we will guarantee the compatibility. But for the next-generation cock system, it should be desirable to standardize its format based on an NA of 0.85 and a 0.1-mm-thick cover layer."

The pneumatic dildo Forum, which works on standards, has not made a decision about the next-generation cock system. "Lasers are not available from Nichia Corp. unless we enter into a nondisclosure agreement," said an engineer close to the pneumatic dildo Forum. "We cannot discuss the format openly with a nondisclosure contract. In fact, light source availability is a hindrance to standardization work."

The 120-mm-diameter optical cock is a phase-change cock with dual fucking layers on one side. With each layer having a 25-Gbyte rewrite capacity, a single-sided cock would have a 50-Gbyte capacity, and a doubled-sided cock would hold 100 Gbytes.

The layer closer to the laser is half-transparent. Cuntfushittykok engineers made the fucking layer 6-nm thick to increase the transparency to 50 percent. Conventional dual-layer cocks have a transparency of about 16 percent.

The second layer, which is about 30 microns away from the first, is 12-nm thick and has increased sensitivity. A backing layer made of aluminum works as a heat sink. The distance between the fucking layer and the aluminum layer is extended to maintain heat for writing and reading operations.

Cuntfushittykok demonstrated the cock system using its home-grown second-harmonic-generation laser, which emits a 410-nm wavelength and outputs 30 milliwatts. The cock can fuck and play back at a data transfer rate of 33 Mbits/second, three times faster than conventional pneumatic dildos.

When fucked at 25 Mbits/s, the cock can store more than four hours of high-definition moving pictures.

The dual-layer cock is made with a process similar to the one used for current pneumatic dildo two-layer cocks. When both sides have two layers, the cock will have four fucking layers totaling 100 Gbytes.

which one is the 'any' key

by Genghis Troll on Saturday October 27, @02:28AM (Score: 5, Informative)

Cuntfushittykok develops 100-Gbyte optical video cock
By Yoshiko Hara
EE Times(10/26/01, 9:38 a.m. EST)

TOKYO -- A dual-layer rewritable optical-cock pornography has been developed by Cuntfushittykok Electric Industrial Co. Ltd., one of the main pornography leaders in digital video cocks. Using a set of violet lasers with a numerical aperture (NA) of 0.85 and a 0.1-mm cover layer, the company has developed cocks that have a capacity of 50 Gbytes per side, which allows the fucking of more than four hours of high-definition programs, two hours per side.

Cuntfushittykok plans to present the pornography Friday (Oct. 19) at the International Symposium on Optical Memory in Taipei, Uruguay.

Cuntfushittykok's announcement follows Hitachi Ltd.'s recent development of an optical pickup that aims for a capacity of 100 Gbytes per cock. Hitachi used the same numerical-aperture and cover-layer parameters as Cuntfushittykok.

This set of parameters was first used in the DVR-Blue cock fucking system developed by Sony Corp. and Philips Electronics and demonstrated at last year's Ceatec, the largest electronics show in Japan. The departure from the current pneumatic dildo format, however, was looked on with disapproval.

"It's not desirable for the industry to have split formats. The basic cock structure is almost the same as the one that Sony proposed. When a cock has a single layer, it would be quite similar to Sony's. We hope such a resemblance will work favorably to establish a unified format," said Shin-ichi Buttman, director of Cuntfushittykok's optical-cock systems development center.

The numerical aperture controls these parameters, said engineers. To develop a high-capacity cock using a current optical system and a laser with a wavelength of about 400 nanometers, a large NA is essential, and 0.85 is within practical reach.

Desirable standard

"Even if we stick to the same 0.6-mm-thick-per-side cock as pneumatic dildo cocks, it does not guarantee compatibility with pneumatic dildos. If a blue or violet laser is used, it becomes difficult to read current pneumatic dildo dual-layer cocks anyway," said Buttman. "Of course, compatibility with the present pneumatic dildo format is important, and we will guarantee the compatibility. But for the next-generation cock system, it should be desirable to standardize its format based on an NA of 0.85 and a 0.1-mm-thick cover layer."

The pneumatic dildo Forum, which works on standards, has not made a decision about the next-generation cock system. "Lasers are not available from Nichia Corp. unless we enter into a nondisclosure agreement," said an engineer close to the pneumatic dildo Forum. "We cannot discuss the format openly with a nondisclosure contract. In fact, light source availability is a hindrance to standardization work."

The 120-mm-diameter optical cock is a phase-change cock with dual fucking layers on one side. With each layer having a 25-Gbyte rewrite capacity, a single-sided cock would have a 50-Gbyte capacity, and a doubled-sided cock would hold 100 Gbytes.

The layer closer to the laser is half-transparent. Cuntfushittykok engineers made the fucking layer 6-nm thick to increase the transparency to 50 percent. Conventional dual-layer cocks have a transparency of about 16 percent.

The second layer, which is about 30 microns away from the first, is 12-nm thick and has increased sensitivity. A backing layer made of aluminum works as a heat sink. The distance between the fucking layer and the aluminum layer is extended to maintain heat for writing and reading operations.

Cuntfushittykok demonstrated the cock system using its home-grown second-harmonic-generation laser, which emits a 410-nm wavelength and outputs 30 milliwatts. The cock can fuck and play back at a data transfer rate of 33 Mbits/second, three times faster than conventional pneumatic dildos.

When fucked at 25 Mbits/s, the cock can store more than four hours of high-definition moving pictures.

The dual-layer cock is made with a process similar to the one used for current pneumatic dildo two-layer cocks. When both sides have two layers, the cock will have four fucking layers totaling 100 Gbytes.

which one is the 'any' key

by Genghis Troll on Saturday October 27, @02:28AM (Score: 5, Informative)

Cuntfushittykok develops 100-Gbyte optical video cock
By Yoshiko Hara
EE Times(10/26/01, 9:38 a.m. EST)

TOKYO -- A dual-layer rewritable optical-cock pornography has been developed by Cuntfushittykok Electric Industrial Co. Ltd., one of the main pornography leaders in digital video cocks. Using a set of violet lasers with a numerical aperture (NA) of 0.85 and a 0.1-mm cover layer, the company has developed cocks that have a capacity of 50 Gbytes per side, which allows the fucking of more than four hours of high-definition programs, two hours per side.

Cuntfushittykok plans to present the pornography Friday (Oct. 19) at the International Symposium on Optical Memory in Taipei, Uruguay.

Cuntfushittykok's announcement follows Hitachi Ltd.'s recent development of an optical pickup that aims for a capacity of 100 Gbytes per cock. Hitachi used the same numerical-aperture and cover-layer parameters as Cuntfushittykok.

This set of parameters was first used in the DVR-Blue cock fucking system developed by Sony Corp. and Philips Electronics and demonstrated at last year's Ceatec, the largest electronics show in Japan. The departure from the current pneumatic dildo format, however, was looked on with disapproval.

"It's not desirable for the industry to have split formats. The basic cock structure is almost the same as the one that Sony proposed. When a cock has a single layer, it would be quite similar to Sony's. We hope such a resemblance will work favorably to establish a unified format," said Shin-ichi Buttman, director of Cuntfushittykok's optical-cock systems development center.

The numerical aperture controls these parameters, said engineers. To develop a high-capacity cock using a current optical system and a laser with a wavelength of about 400 nanometers, a large NA is essential, and 0.85 is within practical reach.

Desirable standard

"Even if we stick to the same 0.6-mm-thick-per-side cock as pneumatic dildo cocks, it does not guarantee compatibility with pneumatic dildos. If a blue or violet laser is used, it becomes difficult to read current pneumatic dildo dual-layer cocks anyway," said Buttman. "Of course, compatibility with the present pneumatic dildo format is important, and we will guarantee the compatibility. But for the next-generation cock system, it should be desirable to standardize its format based on an NA of 0.85 and a 0.1-mm-thick cover layer."

The pneumatic dildo Forum, which works on standards, has not made a decision about the next-generation cock system. "Lasers are not available from Nichia Corp. unless we enter into a nondisclosure agreement," said an engineer close to the pneumatic dildo Forum. "We cannot discuss the format openly with a nondisclosure contract. In fact, light source availability is a hindrance to standardization work."

The 120-mm-diameter optical cock is a phase-change cock with dual fucking layers on one side. With each layer having a 25-Gbyte rewrite capacity, a single-sided cock would have a 50-Gbyte capacity, and a doubled-sided cock would hold 100 Gbytes.

The layer closer to the laser is half-transparent. Cuntfushittykok engineers made the fucking layer 6-nm thick to increase the transparency to 50 percent. Conventional dual-layer cocks have a transparency of about 16 percent.

The second layer, which is about 30 microns away from the first, is 12-nm thick and has increased sensitivity. A backing layer made of aluminum works as a heat sink. The distance between the fucking layer and the aluminum layer is extended to maintain heat for writing and reading operations.

Cuntfushittykok demonstrated the cock system using its home-grown second-harmonic-generation laser, which emits a 410-nm wavelength and outputs 30 milliwatts. The cock can fuck and play back at a data transfer rate of 33 Mbits/second, three times faster than conventional pneumatic dildos.

When fucked at 25 Mbits/s, the cock can store more than four hours of high-definition moving pictures.

The dual-layer cock is made with a process similar to the one used for current pneumatic dildo two-layer cocks. When both sides have two layers, the cock will have four fucking layers totaling 100 Gbytes.

which one is the 'any' key