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Dwarf Fortress's mechanics are not fun.

Nope, they're Fun

Nonsense. You just need to know exactly what you're doing.

Yeah, I know. http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Water_reactor#Dwarven_Water_Reactor

You do know you're only supposed to point out jokes wooshing over other people's heads, not your own.

What do you mean harvesting large amounts of spider silk is impractical? We have farm designs already. http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/DF2010:Giant_cave_spider#Farming_Silk

Not everyone (and dare I say most people) don't want to play a game where you get grazed in the leg with a bullet and your movement becomes entirely awkward, your character develops some sort of infection and then his leg needs to be amputated in the middle of the jungle with charlies everywhere, then being required to finish the rest of the game with one leg. (surely one person will reply to this begging for that)

And for those who do, there already is nethack and DwarfFortress.

This nethack game is easy: all the stairs are right next to the entrance. I've been playing this game for a few minutes and I'm already way down in here. Hey, what's a floating eye?

Losing is Fun!

What do you mean, everyone in the Fortress committed suicide because one child's pet cat fell down a hole? Well... the cat broke its leg, the leg got infected, the pet cat died, the girl had a tantrum and stopped drinking so died. Then so did her parents. Then all their friends. Except the ones who went berserk from seeing the girl's ghost and started punching other people. Yeah, they may have all been a little on edge...

Not everyone (and dare I say most people) don't want to play a game where you get grazed in the leg with a bullet and your movement becomes entirely awkward, your character develops some sort of infection and then his leg needs to be amputated in the middle of the jungle with charlies everywhere, then being required to finish the rest of the game with one leg. (surely one person will reply to this begging for that)

And for those who do, there already is nethack and DwarfFortress.

This nethack game is easy: all the stairs are right next to the entrance. I've been playing this game for a few minutes and I'm already way down in here. Hey, what's a floating eye?

Losing is Fun!

What do you mean, everyone in the Fortress committed suicide because one child's pet cat fell down a hole? Well... the cat broke its leg, the leg got infected, the pet cat died, the girl had a tantrum and stopped drinking so died. Then so did her parents. Then all their friends. Except the ones who went berserk from seeing the girl's ghost and started punching other people. Yeah, they may have all been a little on edge...

Do yourself a huge favor: Read this page and everything it links to. Yes, the military interface is a clusterfuck, but you can really do a lot of things with it if you can figure it out. (I still haven't entirely figured it out either; you are most definitely in the majority.) As for discarded items...well, I hope to get back to you on that one day.

or THIS. I use a version of the "gold plated" tileset that I modified myself to perfect a few nuances. Not that I am disagreeing with your recommendation of stone soup, it is awesome. It is just that for a DF thread there seem to be a lot of people here that don't seem to realise DF supports custom Tilesets.

It does. It did. Boatmurdered has fallen.

Case in counterpoint, Dwarf Fortress and it's most active forum frequented and responded to by the game creator. He answers questions, takes (in an ineffable manner) suggestions, and otherwise participates in the enjoyment of his game. Example: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=60554.msg1848408#msg1848408 Dwarf fortress: http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Dwarf_Fortress:About

Could be dwarfy Fun too.

Did you find yourself hip-deep in cats the last time you left the house?

If you're a Dorf, you don't even need to leave.

The winners. At least statistically, winners have more fun.

This applies in most games that aren't Dwarf Fortress.

I think the plan is that if we get all 6 billion monkeys slapping their balls against a keyboard, hopefully we will get Shakespeare before we go extinct.

And Unicorn Meat is real! You just have to embark over a "good" forest or shrubland biome. http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/40d:Unicorn - Look for serene, mirthful, or joyous wilds. You too can enjoy Unicorn Tallow Biscuits, Unicorn Meat Stew, Unicorn Chopped Liver Roast...

WARNING: when a DF player speaks of "fun" they may be using a slightly different meaning of the word. Go here to make sure you understand what they are talking about: http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Fun

Nope! Now, hand me that pickaxe, I need to dig myself a memory upgrade.

http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Computing