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Lindt, Baker's, Ghirardelli's...

So, not Mars Brands. Also, I love how the Mars Our Brands page is almost completely useless compared to the Wikipedia page of the same theme.

FYI, you should be buying Green & Blacks 85% if you want a small slice of heaven.

> No way! Not even possible.

Pffft. Get one, step on it, voila'.

For something completely different, I'll put a man on LEGO, any takers?

The marketing opportunities cannot be undersold. Imagine.

The Hershey landing module (a big F You to the Mars Chocolate family of brands) breaks off from the Orbitz.com Orbital Station and begins its descent, brought to you by American Airlines, where you're flying ALL the friendly skies. After 20 harrowing minutes of commentary, uninterrupted thanks to a generous grant from Microsoft (well uninterrupted except for two brief blue screens), the lander touches down within sight of the majestic Coors Mountain range on the VISA plains (where they don't take American Express).

The Chevron chevrons unlock, and the capsule door slides open. The first man on Mars, Captain Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino descends the CareerBuilder.com ladder and says those immortal words that will ring throughout history: "That's one.smallstepfor a Nikeone, giant leap, thanks to Five Hour Energy."

I'm tearing up just thinking about. Thank goodness I have a bottle of Clear Eyes handy.

Many, so very many.

A bottling plant on Mars would make crazy money. "Don't drink earth water, drink E.T water!" (even more if they pluralize that and convince people alien urine will give them super health).

And then the Mars company will give everyone hell for calling it Mars Water.

Mod parent Insightful, and mod me drunk troll!

This isn't about Mars, http://www.mars.com/global/Global+Brands/Snackfood/Mars.htm , is it?

Thoose guys may ask that.
(http://www.mars.com/

Mars is a private company.

Mars Inc.

(Horrible website)

Well, after reading the headline you'd probably expect something profound, but all you get is the usual comment:
How about colonizing Mars instead?

Well, let's sit back, have a Mars and colonize it instead of worrying about the moral implications of ripping brain tissue out of living creatures and using it for powering faster calculating machines of one sort or the other. Being a scientist myself, I must say that I feel that we scientists appear to be slowly going mad. Fools! I'll destroy them all!

How sad! Now all that's left is dreary, Hemos-posted stories on terraforming Mars...

Wow! Imagine how they might use the money in colonizing Mars instead!

Caches are extremely useful when you are out there in the wilds. You can't really be expected to carry all sorts of crap with you all the time, so it's really convenient to have someone else put things into caches for you to find. The ultimate strategy for colonizing Mars, I presume.

I have a problem seeing Slashdot turn into some kind of national US media coverage. As you probably gather from the decrepit (I'm not sure if this link is nexessary. It's pathetic anyway, so in contrary to established Web principles, please don't follow it) state of my English, I'm not from the US, instead I'm from Vee-haf-vayz-of-makink-yoo-talk -land; so, frankly, all this Slashdot coverage is of absolutely no use or interest to me, and neither is it for the 6.8 billion people on Earth who happen to be non-US citizens. Please stop it. Thank you. Cover stories like colonizing Mars instead.

I think videogames are a problem. I remember playing Colonize Mars! for ages, which was quite a rude game at the time, and in the end I continually ended up having nightmares and stuff. Whoa!

...is to colonize Mars!

Imagine the crucial rule this totally crappy gadget might have in the epic human attempt to terraform Mars!

All we have to do is to colonize Mars!

Once again, the Slashdot moderators have messed up the facts again. As stated (url: http://www.mars.com/facts.asp?op=milkyway ) here, the center of the MilkyWay is not a black hole.

THE FACTS: The MilkyWay is often consumed into what may be considered a black hole. However, if this were indeed a black hole, the black hole would not appear to gain mass.

For instance, one 40-year-old male who had taken part in the study, funded by the United States Food and Drug Administration. Where a black hole would compress the matter to a mere geometric point, the black hole referred to in the study actually appeared to expand when the chocolate-malt product was consumed. When enough MilkyWay are regularly consumed, the subject will experience an increased capacity to eat; the capacity increasing with each sitting.

More concerned are the exercise professionals. "Those who consume too much of the product will put personal trainers out of business," suggests Jed Smith, Editor, American Human Body Focus. "People," he adds, "will no longer see a need to keep their bodies fit. Consumers are putting millions of professional trainers at risk of losing their job."

Cynthia Lamon, of the Maximum Performance Association of Athletic trainers (MPAA), has vowed to encourage US Congressional support of the Diet Manipulation Consumption Act (DMCA), currently a bill which was introduced and passed by the House. Pending the approval of the Senate, the President would then be asked for his approval.

The DMCA, if passed, require the millions who consume the MilkyWay chocolate-malt bar to accept the planned licensing agreement displayed on the outside of the packaging. Additionally, if the licensing provisions state so, those who wish to consume the sacred bar will be required to slice the bars only with Mars-KitchenWare utensils. Such sets of tools are alleged to offer technological advantages over traditional fork and knife sets.

The food items will also contain Crafted Structured Starch (CSS) technology, which would make splitting the food fibers impossible without the KitchenWare tools, which are able to unbind the additives which ensure the foods are sanitized.

Once again, the Slashdot moderators have messed up the facts again. As stated (url: http://www.mars.com/facts.asp?op=milkyway ) here, the center of the MilkyWay is not a black hole.

THE FACTS: The MilkyWay is often consumed into what may be considered a black hole. However, if this were indeed a black hole, the black hole would not appear to gain mass.

For instance, one 40-year-old male who had taken part in the study, funded by the United States Food and Drug Administration. Where a black hole would compress the matter to a mere geometric point, the black hole referred to in the study actually appeared to expand when the chocolate-malt product was consumed. When enough MilkyWay are regularly consumed, the subject will experience an increased capacity to eat; the capacity increasing with each sitting.

More concerned are the exercise professionals. "Those who consume too much of the product will put personal trainers out of business," suggests Jed Smith, Editor, American Human Body Focus. "People," he adds, "will no longer see a need to keep their bodies fit. Consumers are putting millions of professional trainers at risk of losing their job."

Cynthia Lamon, of the Maximum Performance Association of Athletic trainers (MPAA), has vowed to encourage US Congressional support of the Diet Manipulation Consumption Act (DMCA), currently a bill which was introduced and passed by the House. Pending the approval of the Senate, the President would then be asked for his approval.

The DMCA, if passed, require the millions who consume the MilkyWay chocolate-malt bar to accept the planned licensing agreement displayed on the outside of the packaging. Additionally, if the licensing provisions state so, those who wish to consume the sacred bar will be required to slice the bars only with Mars-KitchenWare utensils. Such sets of tools are alleged to offer technological advantages over traditional fork and knife sets.

The food items will also contain Crafted Structured Starch (CSS) technology, which would make splitting the food fibers impossible without the KitchenWare tools, which are able to unbind the additives which ensure the foods are sanitized.