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Hi fuckwit! Learn something:

http://www.toyomasu.com/haiku/

A lot of info about haikus anyways, with examples ... for anybody who needs a memory refresher like me, or who is being introduced to them for the first time.

Here is a haiku I have made. Explain to me if/why it is flawed, and what makes a good haiku. A bird sits on me, I am walking away now, It shits on my head.

Since you asked...

How to write Haiku

In japanese, the rules for how to write Haiku are clear, and will not be discussed here. In foreign languages, there exist NO consensus in how to write Haiku-poems. Anyway, let's take a look at the basic knowledge:

What to write about?

Haiku-poems can describe almost anything, but you seldom find themes which are too complicated for normal PEOPLE's recognition and understanding. Some of the most thrilling Haiku-poems describe daily situations in a way that gives the reader a brand new experience of a well-known situation.

The metrical pattern of Haiku

Haiku-poems consist of respectively 5, 7 and 5 syllables in three units. In japanese, this convention is a must, but in english, which has variation in the length of syllables, this can sometimes be difficult.

The technique of cutting

The cutting divides the Haiku into two parts, with a certain imaginative distance between the two sections, but the two sections must remain, to a degree, independent of each other. Both sections must enrich the understanding of the other. To make this cutting in english, either the first or the second line ends normally with a colon, long dash or ellipsis.

The seasonal theme.

Each Haiku must contain a kigo, a season word, which indicate in which season the Haiku is set. For example, cherry blossoms indicate spring, snow indicate winter, and mosquitoes indicate summer, but the season word isn't always that obvious.

Please notice that Haiku-poems are written under different rules and in many languages. For translated Haiku-poems, the translator must decide whether he should obey the rules strictly, or if he should present the exact essence of the Haiku. For Haiku-poems originally written in english, the poet should be more careful. These are the difficulties, and the pleasure of Haiku.

Shamelessly stolen from here

Yours is no more a haiku than the one the article discusses.

The middle line has to be 7 syllables to be proper haiku.

All about Haiku

Haiku definition:
What is Haiku?

Haiku is one of the most important form of traditional japanese poetry. Haiku is, today, a 17-syllable verse form consisting of three metrical units of 5, 7, and 5 syllables.

check the definition, you my friend, suck at the intarweb

A couple of points.

First, you're right about the 5-7-5 syllable thing.

However, as is suggested in various places, translations of original Japanese haiku into English is difficult, leaving many translations in a non 5-7-5 form. Thus, many classic haiku appear to be not 5-7-5.

Also, as some other people pointed out, much of the haiku on the elements haiku page is not in 5-7-5 form either.

Hello CKW.
I'm sorry for not being able to coach you lately, but I'll try to make it up for you.

Your haiku was written incorrectly, and you should fix that. Please go to http://www.toyomasu.com/haiku/ for more information.