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Chemical Haiku: Elements' Qualities in a Few Syllables
Frr pointed out this interesting approach to the periodic table: Haiku. This might even help you remember the elements.
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Poems rhyme and have a regular meter and that's what makes it easier for us to remember (songs with catchy, rhyming lyrics are the same). Haikus are not exactly easier to remember because they don't rhyme (although the fixed number of syllables help).
I could be wrong, but I think it might be better to use another kind of poetry for this?
Well, if you're posting to slashdot, you're probably not spending the night with some hot woman. That means you most likely have a lot of time on your hands, so yes, go ahead and memorize them. You might be able to impress some CS professors.
I already memorized the Tom Leher song.
Quid festinatio swallonis est aetherfuga inonusti?
Africus aut Europaeus?
Do you even lift?
These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.
Sine of a half?
ALG sin ( 1 / 2 ) =
7 keystrokes ( less if calc pus brackets in, but still >5)
RPN: 2 1/x sin
3 keystrokes
Come on WTF?
Some of those are not haikus
chemists are retards
Hint: read heliums...
Science and Poems
Merged in novel harmony
But for what purpose?
Lyrics and all can be found here: /ex
lyrics and quicktime versions of Tom Lehrer's Elements song
periodic table
;)
with rhythm of haiku
I remember
ducks
the bitter cocktail
of a colonoscopy --
grin and barium
Comment removed based on user account deletion
ok, you have to actually say the WORDS, not "WTF", or else it doesnt work.
Suck it bizn0tch the comment got modded down to 0, Offtopic! Fuck you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Element poems
Until Slashdotted link.
I am sad.
Is anyone actually forced to memorize the periodic table these days? Talk about a pointless rote memorization task...
I thought "learning" like this went the way of the dinosaurs in the 80's (of course, I teach on the university level, so I'm a bit removed from elementary education). Can any education types confirm that this kind of thing still goes on?
I subscribe to the penguin theory of learning. After a certain point, your brain only holds so many recallable facts, just like an iceberg can hold only so many penguins. After that, for each new one you add, an old one must be shoved off (or at least relegated to subconscious long-term storage). I know memory is theoretically infinite, and that everything we learn is supposedly deep down in there somewhere, waiting for the right moment to be dredged up... but this kind of memorization is a waste of space on the iceberg.
No way in sacrificing childhood memories for the periodic table... too easy to just go look up a copy.
Even if a man chops off your hand with a sword, you still have two nice, sharp bones to stick in his eyes.
You can't tell us there is nothing but this in the queue!
Haiku.. Sheesh
There are better ways to make an impression
"56 Barium
the bitter cocktail
of a colonoscopy --
grin and barium"
lesson for us all:
nerds good at periodic,
bad at humorous.
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Quite over-rated
The periodic table
As lots of haiku.
UARM
~~~ sleep!
~~~ sleeeep!
~~~ sleeeeeep!
~~~ sleep my pasty friend. you hath not need break serial post record stories by you!
WHERE IS KLERK WHEN YOU NEED 'EM? WHY ISN'T ANYONE FIGHTING THE SLASHDOT POSTORS THEES DAYS? I already know *BSD is dying!
And it would be even better if 5-7-5 wasn't just a Western convenience.
..I'd rather wear one of these than read through that thing.
Seriously though, memorizing the periodic table in school was far easier for me than things like the MLK speech, the pre-amble, the 'To be or not to be' soliloquy, and whatnot. Flashcards will do wonders for small bits of information that you can later forget and look up on tshirts.
The ones authored by "Mary Margaret Serpento" are clearly not haikus.
"The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than that of whether a submarine can swim" -EWD
This could help out a lot of people who have problems remembering things. I remember when I was first learning the elements on the periodic table I would use computer terms, and sex to memorize things. This just makes it more generic and not as "dirty". Just becuase you do not like the idea doesn't mean it could not help a lot of children around the world and even some older people remember the periodic table elements.
I still think some of his finest work was embodied in the old classic poisoning pigeons in the park.
I love that one...
Even if a man chops off your hand with a sword, you still have two nice, sharp bones to stick in his eyes.
None of these are true haikus. A true haiku has 5-7-5 sylables and must have a kigo or seasonal theme.
"Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus Rex."
Well, the 5-7-5 is often adhered to in Japanese haiku, but as I understand it, the idea of the haiku is to express some thought with a certain sort of spontenaity. It's more about method than form. The idea is to be contemplating some idea, and then simply write the haiku immediately without deliberating about how to fit it into some arbitrary form. My understanding is that the 5-7-5 myth is akin to "Columbus discovered america" that I also learned in 4th grade -- it's so oversimplified that it is no longer strictly true.
More appropriate near St Patrick's day..
There once was an element named Zinc
{child posts please continue}
What's your GCNSEQNO?
programmer by love
unemployed by dot-com bust
need change for dinner
Computer Science, CounterStrike, what's the difference?
92 Uranium
Fission or fusion?
World leaders seek security
As uranium time ticks away
94 Plutonium
burial markers
destroyed by vandals
unEarthing
future plague
legacy of death
no prophet warnings
95 Americium
Fire's high-tech bane,
radiation's toxic pain--
Americium Dream
96 Curium
all the way to Mars
before one human footstep
curium spectrometer
97 Berkelium
just academic
protesting commercial use
feels it in his bones
99 Einsteinium
laughing with God
eternal craps game
betting GUTs
['If you want to give God a laugh, tell him your plans']
['God does not play at dice with the Universe']
[Grand Unified Theory, a mystery he planned to solve]
101 Mendelevium
almost forgotten
my Table lives after me
a lesson on pride
[The value of Mendeleev's table is that it predicted the gaps in the vertical rows, indicated the properties of the then-missing elements and suggested where to look for them in Nature. But all other knowledge of Mendeleev himself was nearly lost to time and indifference.]
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Anonymous Cowards
are sure idiots
just like me? Oops
I don't care if I don't have the right number of syllables, that's the point.
HAgLiNaK HAgLiNaK
CuBaCaFePbZnMg
AlFeBiNiKr AlFeBiNiKr
SiC SiC SiC
Phoenetically:
Haglinak, haglinak
koobakafapibzinmig
alfabiniker alfabiniker
sick sick sick
Yeah, so this isn't quite a haiku, but it got me by. Only other thing he taught me from his RPI days, the RPI Cheer:
e to the x, dy/dx
e to the x, dy
cosine, secant, tangent, sine
three point one four one five nine
square root, cubed root, log of pi
disintegrate 'em RPI!
I guess what I really learned was that a bunch of nerds went to RPI.
The real Japanese haikus can have 5,7,5 syllables, but it is not the syllables that are counted. The Japanese count the letters, which I might add can sometimes be only part of a syllable.
ryo is a combination of ri and yo, but makes one syllable. It would be counted as two letters. On the other hand, n can be by itself. As in something like the Karate Kids Daniel-san. Sa and n are different letters and count as two, but they form a single syllable.
Asshat. Asshead. You are so gh3y.
Cool javascript, not often I see such a detailed Table of elements, could come useful ;)
20 Calcium
Festering cows
puss and antibiotics
got milk, kids?
Looks like they had a visitor from PETA...
Are we really that nerdy? Do we actually care about a new way to remember the periodic table? I hope not.
hard to argue on that one.
00
It shames me to say,
but there are some truly bad
Haikus on the page
01
The page we just read
contained incorrect haikus
too few syllables
02
Those that follow rules
all have seven syllables
surrounded by five
03
Count my syllables
and you will understand it
An acquired taste
Anyone who knows any Japanese should be aware that the Japanese don't use plurals like that. So we have one haiku and we have many haiku. No plurals. Please stop saying 'haikus'. Thanks.
I hope it goes without saying that I expect and look forward to many nonsensical racist replies.
nt
No, it's not you, most of the entries are horrible "poetry". Read some real haiku. Westerners don't "get" haiku, they just think any syllables can be strung together. Frankly, for comedy I prefer the limerick, but the nonexistent skill it takes to produce a bad haiku seems to indicate that limericks will languish for some time yet.
Shutting down free speech with violence isn't fighting fascism. It IS fascism!
i had a horrid image of going to school monday and seeing scores of t-shirts....craig wearing '2He4', chris wearing 82Pb208', brett wearing '22Ti48', sarah wearing '80Hg200'. although, it might make cheating on an exam much easier, "I was just stretching my neck, honest!"
united states nuclear device terrorist bioweapon encryption cocaine korea syria iran iraq columbia cuba
The ones by Margaret Serpento are NOT haiku, so why are they still there? And why didn't she make it haiku if everyone else did...?
why would you even waste your time with that?
I've never really liked the Haiku format. So the what fuck if it has so many syllabus, it just doesn't sound interesting.
Theyr'e not even easy to remember because their blank.
im so drunk i cant even speell
h ered
anyway, my sister came up with this one to remembet the planets (C) miriam pierce
Mount
Vesuvius
Erupted
Many
Juveniles
Smot
Under
Nearby
Pompeii
i love her, but only as a sister, okay>?
A Russian Girl travelling Vermont
Said "It's a big fucking dick that I want"
So I whipped out my weasel
And used her face for an easel
Chalk up one more for Detante.
Ah, John Valby, king of the limerick.
This message brought to you by the Council of People Who Are Sick of Seeing More People.
there's just one thing you must do
that's five, seven, five
But I haven't found one haiku on the website. :( Is there a joke I'm not getting? At first I thought the varrying syllables were an encoding of orbital numbers, weights, or something as a mnemonic, but I didn't see a pattern.
Freedom to fear. Freedom from thought. Freedom to kill.
I guess the War on Terror really is about freedom!
OK, I'll bite:
There once was an element named Zinc
which had had one too many a drink.
It consumed (more appropriate
near St Patrick's day) opiate
and was forcibly sent to a shrink.
There once was an element named Zinc,
a nutrient they put in a drink
like Gatorade ("Is It In You?")
{child posts please continue}
and in galvanized alloys and ink.
Marklar: marklar
We'd be nuts as a society not to teach our children basic arithmetic, so that's not a good example. I am currently taking a higher algrebra class (rings, fields, primes, error/crypto codes, etc), and since everyone has calculators that can contain formulas, you can't use them on exams. For calculus classes, the few calculations you do are made to be simple: formulas with sin x and cos x will be evaluated at pi/2.
But for my class, some of the exam problems are troublesome arithmetically and prone to simple errors. When you have to quickly do twenty multiply-and-add operations of three digit numbers, it's easy to make a mistake. But more I find that being out of practice with it flusters me. I could do this in seconds with no errors on a decent calculator, but not having one takes away time that could be used to test knowledge of the actual class material.
More than that though, basic math is handy in places where you wouldn't normally have a calculator: grocery store, ATM, car, etc. The periodic table, on the other hand, isn't something you suddenly have a need for, say, while filling up your gas tank. Do you know the atomic weight of oxygen? Of course, the concept and use of the table itself should still be taught, but skip memorizing the details.
That being said, I disagree with the original point that the site is pointless. Any art is a contribution to the whole -- even this site, which doesn't even use real haikus (5-7-5) in the first place.
Freedom to fear. Freedom from thought. Freedom to kill.
I guess the War on Terror really is about freedom!
H-HeLi-BeB-C-NOF-Ne
NaM-gAlSiPS-ClArKCa
Sc-TiV-Cr-Mn-FeCoNi-CuZn
Not the most attractive (or pronouncable) words, but it worked for me...
When Hydrogen Tech played Oxygen U,
the game had just begun,
when Hydrogen racked up two fast points,
and Oxygen still had none.
Then Oxygen scored a single goal,
and thus it did remain,
at Hydrogen 2 and Oxygen 1,
called because of rain.
There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium,
And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium,
And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium,
Europium, zirconium, lutetium, vanadium,
And lanthanum and osmium and astatine and radium,
And gold, protactinium and indium and gallium,
And iodine and thorium and thulium and thallium.
There's yttrium, ytterbium, actinium, rubidium,
And boron, gadolinium, niobium, iridium,
And strontium and silicon and silver and samarium,
And bismuth, bromine, lithium, beryllium, and barium.
There's holmium and helium and hafnium and erbium,
And phosphorus and francium and fluorine and terbium,
And manganese and mercury, molybdenum, magnesium,
Dysprosium and scandium and cerium and cesium.
And lead, praseodymium, and platinum, plutonium,
Palladium, promethium, potassium, polonium,
And tantalum, technetium, titanium, tellurium,
And cadmium and calcium and chromium and curium.
There's sulfur, californium, and fermium, berkelium,
And also mendelevium, einsteinium, nobelium,
And argon, krypton, neon, radon, xenon, zinc, and rhodium,
And chlorine, carbon, cobalt, copper, tungsten, tin, and sodium.
These are the only ones of which the news has come to Ha'vard,
And there may be many others, but they haven't been discavard.
Sung to the tune from Gilbert & Sullivan's "Major General Song" from "Pirates of Penzance", it is an amazingly perfect parody by Tom Lehrer
I propose Clementine as best showing his talents, where he plays that hoary old song Clementine as if it had been written by various different people, Mozart, Gilbert and Sullivan, I think 4 or 5 total. Shows his writing and playing and singing talents very well, he's not just sarcastic fluff, he's intelligently done sarcastic fluff.
Infuriate left and right
Disappointed
Lithium rhyme
not a haiku.
For further reading,
Molecules With Silly Names
is amusing too.
-----
Free P2P Backup, Windows & Linux
OT: somehow I'm reminded of a day last June when I was returning from a chemically induced pattern-recognition exercise *cough*acid*cough*trip*cough* and checked Slashdot, where the latest headline was on Periodicity, Patterns and Chemistry.
Escher was the first MC and Giger invented the HR department.
The helium entry reads (formatting theirs):
lighter than dream
flight between worlds
Deja Thoris
serial rescues in
afternoon sun
Haiku is a 5 sylable, 7 sylable, 5 sylable structure. Am I just daffy or does this not even come close?
My
Limekiller
wow. all those onmouseovers. neato.
My problem? I was perfectly gruntled, until some numbnuts came by and dissed me.
In grade 8 we were asked to memorize the first twenty elements of the periodic table. Of course I put it off way too long and ended up cramming the night before the test. So I just made up a little mnemonic poem. Here it is in phonetic form:
Hydrogen Helim Lithium Beryllium (that's as far as I got with the names)
Bicknoffnee Namgal Sipsclarkca
In symbolic form, that's H He Li Be B C N O F Ne Na Mg Al Si P S Cl Ar K Ca. Can't forget the damned thing after seventeen years.
5-7-5 = rigid format which cannot be directly related to original Haiku. Also OK?
Therefore the question has to be, does an attempt to represent the feel of haiku have to follow what are in effect arbitrary rules? I suggest not.
Spirit of haiku != programming language syntax.
In fact, the idea of a short poem based around a single feeling can manifest itself in other ways. I happen to like the limeraiku:
which is a long way from haiku but would never have existed as a form had the haiku not existed.Some of the element "haiku" are mildly amusing, some are thoughful, some belong with the Sweet Singer of Michigan, but the attempt to do something with a form is surely worth doing if only to see if it works. This is a mannered exercise in writing a very short verse on a single subject. Arguing about 5-7-5 or whether it works as a menmonic misses the file system checking point. Extending the Housman Test, I'd suggest that whether or not these verses work AS POETRY depends on:
Enough rant. Back to work.
Panurge has posted for the last time. Thanks for the positive moderations.
Well, that's interesting. Maybe, like the 'word' "irregardless" the common usage has actually made it an entity unto itself? These are no longer 'haiku' per se, but their own genre of poetry?
Ebonics version
Table-ized A.I.
3 keystrokes:
sin(3-1
8 keystrokes and no brain aneuyrism:
(5-1 + 6-1)-1
Happy?
Is this a sigs-optional kind of place? 'Cause I am totally down with that if you know what I mean.
We had to memorize the first 20 elements and it made our life much easier.
Is this a sigs-optional kind of place? 'Cause I am totally down with that if you know what I mean.
Surely you must mean "I was just staring at her breasts; honest!";)
Is this a sigs-optional kind of place? 'Cause I am totally down with that if you know what I mean.
Ex Star-Trekkie guy Now he plugs Priceline dot com He gets half-price rates. *bows*
The Human Cow - bringing you scrumtrelescence since 1995
A mosquito was heard to complain
:-|
That a chemist had poisoned his brain
The cause of his sorrow
Was para-dichloro-
diphenyltrichloroethane
Bwahahaha, that's funny, now everybody laugh
Remember how they were going to have a systematic nomenclature for the elements? I.e. name=number in Russian?
But we just couldn't give up our selfish ends, so we had to change the names to the discoverer.
Eventually we'll be naming the elements after people, but the people will be named after numbers, so we'll have
10736ium and 99335237864ium, (the 178th and 179th elements, respectively).
As a rough cut, this quarter at UCLA is costing me about $4000. As I'm taking four classes, this course costs me $1000. I'm quite happy to do arithmetic by hand (as I stated in my post) on my own time, but I think it's a waste of my money to pay $1000 to be tested on skills I taught myself in kindergarten, especially when that means I forfeit being tested on the material this course is purported to teach.
For example, say you took a course on C++ programming. Would you be happy if one-quarter of your projects/exams was wasted by testing your touch-typing skills? If the instructor decided to bar the use of make and shell scripts, forcing you to type compiler commands directly into the shell, might you then become a "whiny jackass"?
Apply a little thought and reason before you whip out a reply next time.
Freedom to fear. Freedom from thought. Freedom to kill.
I guess the War on Terror really is about freedom!
I'm sorry to say, but most of them I read are NOT the correct form of Haiku. I believe it was posted earlier, but buried in a response, that the correct Haiku form is 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables. The only one I can remember reading that is correct is Hydrogen.
Even worse, most of them are nonsense freeform poetry that would certainly NOT help me remember the periodic table.
Furu ikeya
kawazu tobikomu
mizu no oto
A very old pond.
Suddenly, in jumps a frog.
The splash of water.
Slashdot Eds Link Anonymous Posts With Logged Posts
They Are Vermin Feeding On Each Other's Feces.
I Hate \.
I think you're brain is open source... You have the right to make a new copy with modifications. =-)
Slashdot Eds Link Anonymous Posts With Logged Posts
They Are Vermin Feeding On Each Other's Feces.
I Hate \.
There once was a man from Nantucket Whose dick was so long he could suck it. Wiping cum from his chin, he said with a grin, If my mouth was a pussy, I'd fuck it.
Stupid Westerners
They cannot count syllables
proof: see oxygen
Give me an R!
Give me a P!
Give me an I!
What's that spell?
M-I-T Wan-na-be!
(Yes, I was accepted to both schools mentioned, but attended neither, so no sour grapes accusations)
GAAAAH, I'm glad you appreciated the site on its artistic merit, but if there's anyone less qualified to speak on poetry, it's your average /.er. Haiku, despite what your ninth grade english teacher told you, does not require seventeen syllables. Japanese syllables convey less information than English syllables, and Japanese grammar is much more flexible than English. So two routes emerge: one that keeps the 17 syllable form from japanese, using the extra memespace to make up for English's reletive inflexibility, and the other that holds to the approximate conceptual size (about 11 English syllables). Both are generally considered haiku. One sage, when asked how long a haiku should be, replied that it should be only long enough to be said in one breath. Most western 17 syllable haiku fail this benchmark.
The "rules" of haiku are that the poem convey a single simple thought or concept, contain some sort of concrete (preferably natural/seasonal) image, and contain a "Kireji", or "break", usually at the end of a line (in English). You can write a two-line haiku if you like.
Now, I write haiku, it's my preferred form of poetry. When I do, I stick to the 5-7-5 form. I like it, I'm an engineer, I enjoy the challenge. Get the idea captured first, then try to work within the meter. Following this form doesn't make it any "realer", just more entertaining for the author.
If you want more information about haiku, here's one of the best collections of links I've found:
http://home.pacific.net.sg/~loudon/poetry.htm
Philistines. Reentering lurk mode.
jaz
Death to Argument by Slogan!! (This post twice-encrypted with ROT-13. Replies not using same will be ignored)
http://science.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=57260& cid=5526681
Death to Argument by Slogan!! (This post twice-encrypted with ROT-13. Replies not using same will be ignored)
The comic book periodic table!
I subscribe to the penguin theory of learning. After a certain point, your brain only holds so many recallable facts, just like an iceberg can hold only so many penguins. After that, for each new one you add, an old one must be shoved off...
;-)]
Sherlock Holmes opines similarly in A Study in Scarlet, the first Holmes story. Dr. Watson had just discovered that Sherlock didn't know the Earth revolves around the Sun, and explained the Copernican system to him. Sherlock replies:
"Now that I do know it I shall do by best to forget it."
"To forget it!" [Watson exclaims]
"You see," [Sherlock] explained," I consider that a man's brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose. A fool take in lumber of every sort that he comes across, so that the knowledge which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with a lot of other things, so that he has difficulty in laying his hands upon it... Depend upon it there comes a time when for every addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before. It is of the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing out the useful ones."
"But the Solar System!"
"What the deuce is it to me?" he interrupted impatiently...
[In my case, I think I reached this point at age 40. I have to wonder what got shoved out by my remembering this passage
Every rule has an exception (except this one).
Poetry and science. Gotta love it.
Willy was a Chemist
But Willy is no more
What Willy thought was H2O
Was H2SO4