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Perl Haiku Poetry Contest
ActiveState writes "Tell us why you love Perl. ActiveState is pleased to announce the ActiveState Perl Haiku Poetry Contest. Do you love Perl as much as we do? Then prove it with your passion, creativity, and wit! Categories include Best Haiku Poem Written in Perl and Best Haiku Poem About Perl. All entries will be featured on our website. Winners will be selected by ActiveState's Perl development team. Prizes will be awarded for the top three entries in each category and include licenses for ASPN Perl featuring Komodo Professional Edition, and cool ActiveState gear.
The deadline for entries is 12:00PM PST, February 8, 2004. Winners will be announced on February 10. Full contest rules are also online.
Good luck!"
open(heart_to_perl);
content-type: haiku/firstpost;
or die "i fail it";
Vonal Declosion
Damn CLPM
I just wanted to know how
to run CGI
I have been pwned because my
Is Perl one syllabyl or two?? And how do you spell syllabyl?
Ugh... this poetry stuff makes my hair hurt.
"Perl" not "PERL", bozo
Capital P E R L
not acceptable
I have been pwned because my
you know it.
Haiku deluge
Slashdot posts again
Now I am scared
Purl Gurl, Gozilla
Same person behind the name
Uri, do you care?
I have been pwned because my
Fuck all your haiku
I just can't stand reading them
Don't you know they suck?
if you were a real perl hacker, your script would be one line and generate its own haikus.
My problem? I was perfectly gruntled, until some numbnuts came by and dissed me.
We went to Hooters
The cute waitress sold her shirt
One more wings plate, please.
I have been pwned because my
haiku is too hard
i can never remember
how many syllables you are supposed to put in each line
5 7 5 right?
or whatever
bah
IIRC Perl poetry does not need to be valid Perl, let alone have an interesting effect, but merely interesting English that happens to use only Perl keywords.
I've almost got a winner but what I really need to know, is how many syllables are there in: $_=~/[a-z]['")]*[.!?]+['")]*\s/g)
Larry Wall made Perl
See the State of the Onion
Go to Wall.org
Vonal Declosion
Sand in an oyster
makes pearls. Idea in Lar-
ry's head makes this crap.
I have been pwned because my
Ask -that- guy at work:
"You could just write a Perl script
to do that, you know."
I don't like haiku.
I can never remember
the meter.
Let us rewrite Perl.
Years pass, Topaz does not shine,
but Perl 5 still works
I have been pwned because my
Perl Perl Perl Perl Perl
Perl Perl Perl Perl Perl Perl Perl
Perl Perl Perl Perl Perl
Lamness filter! Damn! Now how do I get past it? Don't know. Just give up.
This post patent pending.
Hey, that is damn clever!
post(slashdotstory);t story);
sleep(86400);
post(slashdo
First, five syllables
Then seven quickly follow
Plus five more, Haiku
In constant time with
Quantum::Superpositions
Cops seek Damian
I have been pwned because my
A language you say?
Doubtful, gibberish perhaps.
Debugging, -> brain fail.
That is an amazing script!
Is it just me or
do HERE docs make any sense?
sprintf for me
I have been pwned because my
Wrote a script in May
The damn program broke today
Can't grok my own code
I have been pwned because my
absurd elephantine interpreter
each version incompatible with the last
god how i luv it
I wrote a program
Load it with mod_perl... what the.?
Why doesn't it work?
I have been pwned because my
while S T D IN
print dollar sign underscore
close curly bracket
perls are like gems
darwin can't make a mistake
with perl we win
foreach keys %problems
delete $problems{$_}
Life should work like that
Java: the bastard demon spawn of C++ and Ada
This post is timely!
I was just telling my boss
that Perl is bad.
The language is great.
Expressiveness *and* power.
bitch to maintain tho.
and they write haiku
in this programming language?
boss, I rest my case.
Autumn: perl script starts
C program runs so quickly
Perl not done by spring!
On the other hand...
Perl script written fast
Overflows still plague C code
After many moons.
"'I pass the test,' she said. 'I will diminish, and go into the West, and remain Galadriel.'"
- JRR Tolkien.
Here's what the Oxford Dictionary folk have to say:
The Japanese haiku must include kigo (season word). This is a convention in the Japanese art of haiku. But English haiku has no such word. Moreover, composers of English haiku are not required to strictly observe the 17 syllable rule. The Japanese haiku is written in a single line, but the English haiku is divided into three lines.
It would have been nice if their rules could have had some tips for pedants like me. Do they demand 5/7/5? I am guessing not. If they wanted to get all traditional on our asses they could demand 17 kanji symbols, and I don't know how you can code:in Kanji.
For anyone that read the Terms and Conditions:
Yanks and Canucks may
enter. To do so you must
{insert URL}
Why not get the real ultimate power?
flamebait ruins karma
Clockwurk cries
my $balls = "are itchy"
and "they are turning to red";
warn "girlfriend of crabs";
Author Randall Schwartz Was penning his next Perl book When Intel "penned" him.
need beautiful code?
leave poems to English Majors..
teach yourself Ruby!
Hash, pound, bang, and slash
Why does Perl sound so angry?
The Parrot will die.
I have been pwned because my
With all the Haiku posts, I decided to head off to google and see what actually makes Haiku. My feeling was the 5-7-5 plus indication of a season.
Seems that I am slightly wrong. The 5-7-5 syllabal grouping is accepted to be a Japanese convention where those breaks match the structure of that language. In other languages the the 5-7-5 doesn't fit as well, so you seem to be able to do what you want.
Also the Haiku is generally considered to be an expression of direct experience with out attached emotion. So similie, metaphor and anthropomorphism do not see, to be well regarded.
Two links that I just found and read are:
The definition of Haiku by Alexey Andreyev.
Another Attempt To Define Haiku by Jane Reichhold.
-----------
Is there another word for synonym??
I am Slashdot. Are you Slashdot as well?
My entry for this contest will be in iambic pentameter. And they better accept it because, in Perl, there is always more than one way to do it.
If I win can I
get a job at Activestate
and weed in BC?
I have been pwned because my
Larry Wall's language
is not obfuscatory.
Just need more coffee.
Copyrights, Patents, Trademarks: temporary loans from the Public Domain, not real property ("intellectual" or otherwise)
Take five syllables
Add seven more, then five more
Maybe now haiku
V-B has a new re-lease
Perl still works just fine
I've been feeling very strange about English Haiku for a long while... cos i think traditional Haiku, pays attention not just to the syllabus, but more importantly, to the elements of the season. ah well, maybe it's just me.
In the first green time
youth disdains simplicity
wisdom leads to perl
I cannot write about perl For I do not know it and fear it'll make me hurl
Remember when Perl
was the language of choice for
lazy programmers?
The CB App. What's your 20?
First five syllables
Then seven, then five again
Blah, blah, fucking blah...
Call me old fashioned, but I like a dump to be as memorable as it is devastating - Bender
Will slashdot dupe more
or will we just vote for neal
don't forget beowulf
0ne thr33 thr33 s3v3n
h4x0r5 0n teh yu0r pC?
ch3ck yu0r megahurtz
Badger Badger Bad-
Ger Badger Mushroom Mushroom
Snake! Oooh it's a snaaaake!
Perl, king of scripts
Alas the guard has changed
Type safety matters
Maw! Fire up the karma burner!
must write perl haiku
but to me this lang is poo
python better glue!
For a fresh new start -
go to slash as sysadmin,
and use unlink star.
Just in - SCO owns Perl,
so says Darl "Cowboy" McBride.
Buy a license now.
sometimes seventeen
syllables ain't enough to
express a complete
I have a girlfriend whose name doesn't end in
To Randal L. Schwartz
(Just Another Perl Hacker):
Next time, rename 'crack'.
Just use the "Coy" module, and all the error messages you output from your Perl programs can be Haikus, as well.
From the module's documentation:
When a program dies
what you need is a moment
of serenity.
The Coy.pm
module brings tranquillity
to your debugging.
(Note that the documentation for Coy is, you guessed it, in Haiku form)
I am way too young To know what Perl even is Am I ignorant?
I'm glad Perl isn't on the spoke. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Well, not exactly, but extracted anyhow. =)
old perl releases
grave security issue
buffer overruns
Still #1 -- Lonely Gay Geek
public class Haiku {
public static void main(String
args[]) { System.out.print(
"too much preamble " +
"this intro is so common " +
"why can't it be short? "
)}; }
}
... I am sure this contest will do nothing to dissuade this belief. [And I have written plenty of Perl code that I can no longer read!]
This issue is a bit more complicated than you think.
How can I write this Down when I have no hands you insensitive clod
no, that was untrue
Clockwork likes to like anus
we know this is true
In Soviet Russia
Perl compiler debugs you
Quick mention of summer
your mom's ass is loose
i do not know this firsthand
heard it on slashdot
i do know this though
she really can give good head
she is lacking teeth
perl and PHP?
the comparison is loose
just like your mother
go away now, 'k
try again another day
with a better troll
Have you ever seen
So many AC posts get
Moderated up?
white noise statements
like cats 'cross the keyboard
the code nobody can read
is it a command or parameter
assembler is much friendlier
i'll use python instead
But this one is still my favorite, from KitH:
Ninety-nine bottles
Of beer on the wall, ninety-
nine bottles of beer
HAIKU!! HAIKU!!
--Stephen
Did you ever notice that *nix doesn't even cover Linux?
s/k/ky/g
perl is getting old the ZODB has you python and zope own
perl is getting old
the ZODB has you
python and zope own
Thus, I have written,
No one shall understand,
A write-only language.
I've posted this before so here's just the link.
Escher was the first MC and Giger invented the HR department.
physically located in the United States or Canada (a "Qualified Individual")
eh.
class he-man extends man!
Haiku this and haiku that
Haiku get you laid ?
I think not ` perl -MBone::Easy -edie(pickup) '
The mod points say "troll"?
Maybe that's South African
For "really hard drugs"
Wow, we sow the seeds,
Then nature grows the seeds, and
Then we eat the seeds
What do we have here?
All of Ms Kendall's knickers
That need a good wash
Stickiest bogey
Made by Toxteth O'Grady
Of the USA
The world's stupidest
Bottom-burp is Vyvyan?
No, it says Rik here...
Crop rotation in
The 14th century was
Widespread after... John
And, for a limited time (because I'm at work), a haiku rendition of the theme song!
Once in a lifetime
Comes love like this; I need you,
And you me - you see?
The young ones, darling,
We're the young ones, and young ones
Shouldn't be afraid
To live, love, there's a
Song to be sung, we may not
Be young ones for long
Attack its weak point for massive damage!
That's the coolest sig I've seen a in a while. The only thing worse is one that ends in the same name as your own.
Hmmm. A sad haiku?
Taint checks I did ignore
Open shell command with bad pipe
My hard drive now gone
A happy haiku
Met a girl on chat
Perl script calls me when she's online
I will score soon now
And self-completing plus poetic Perl, Perl, do you use
To compile your own hai-kus
Regexps fun to abuse
> Tell us why you love Perl.
I can't.
> Do you love Perl as much as we do?
I hate it.
> Then prove it with your passion, creativity, and wit!
Go away.
this is not a haiku
obvious guy posts too much
even when he has nothing to say because no one else will listen to him
k.thx
nice complimation there! click to be free goatse.cx!
P.S some how i don't think complimation is spelt right so flame me all you want niggahz!
A language that can't
be reduced to BNF
just should not exist....
or
Algorithms vote
how to parse ambiguous
constructs! Why, oh why!?!
If you don't understand what I mean, try to write a program that parses the perl language itself. Apologies in advance for the massive head trauma.
Check out my sci-fi/humor trilogy at PatriotsBooks.
The topic is Perl
What's the deal with Perl? Is it
good or is it whack?
I have been pwned because my
[Ehi, there is a haiku in there, after all. :^) ]
Tell us why you love Perl.
Do you love Perl as much as we do?
Then prove it with your passion, creativity, and wit!
I cannot do so.
I really, really hate it.
Go away. Get lost.
use strict; use warnings;
my $haiku_lists_itself; print
`cat $0`
Here's a real challenge:
Write a self-listing haiku
without such "cheating."
Is it possible?
I have no idea of how.
I would guess it's not.
Will any of these haikus people are writing be used for stopping spam? :P
/^[A-Z0-9._%+-]+@[A-Z0-9.-]+\.[A-Z]{2,4}$/i
All true Perl hackers
know how to solve this problem --
Use eval for that!
aQazaQa
cool ActiveState gear
I wouldn't enter but for the lure of cool ActiveState gear. That stuff is really cool!
Alas, as a non-US resident I cannot submit my Haiku to the contest, so here it is for all to share.
Crack the oyster, by Bapu:
A CSV file
Many records many fields
Find the perl inside
I find this!
here's my contribution
so much rope to hang
yourself around the neck with.
freedom is sublime
got a hacker to help her install
for appreciation the girl
wanted to show him her perl
but he'd rather mail old Larry Wall
Oh wait ... wrong contest
Most haikus are like
A frostbite incurred during
Nuclear winter
In George Bush's mind
This is a valid haiku
Nuclear fits in five
I'm programming Perl
My program is just one line
Took five years to write...
I wrote an A.I.
Only used two lines of Perl
Output is cryptic
Cyde Weys Musings - Scrutinizing the inscrutable
or is that just old school haiku?
Three lines for the comp
But how many syllables?
Vague rules don't suite geeks
The point here being that after the first two lines the reader would have assumed that is was summer, and made a mental image in green and blue summer colors, but after the last line, he has to revise that picture radically. (My own sucky translation of my faulty recollection of the Swedish translation of the originally Japanese haiku, so please don't take the example as such too seriously, but it illustrates the point, anyway.)
In a way it works a bit like a joke: first you set something up, and then, at the end, you deliver the punch line.
And this of course makes it more interesting to try to write haikus, because no matter how you count your syllables, you really don't have an awful lot of them to achieve all of that.!
Christian Engström, Former Member of the European Parliament 2009-2014 for The Pirate Party, Sweden
Empty Cups On Office Table, Sound Of Programmers Swearing, Confusion.
"As a writer / novelist you might want to spellcheck your sig.
or:
Programer Missed Brackets
Software Worked Correctly
Too Late.
"As a writer / novelist you might want to spellcheck your sig.
Run *nix shit That can't be done in Windows Perl rises Night, VBS.
Dawn of the Dead
Big explosion in
punctuation factory
Result? Perl. Good Luck...
open bracket, bang
colon backslash asterisk
oops, forgot a quote
Finally, finished!
Undefined variable.
Camel book flies far.
How do I do this?
Answer: "Easy, just use perl"
Programmer gets punched.
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage
I code perl for joy
Its data crunching is bliss
Long Live Larry Wall
Gifts for Geeks - Stuff that really matters!
If you have read Cryptonomicron by Neal Stephenson, you'll notice that all of the haiku included contain the kigo as well.
Is Perl syllable or stress timed?
Haikus only really work with syllable timed languages. Having said this, US Perl is probably less strongly stressed than other Perls. Perhaps, there could be a Perl limerick contest for those whose Perl is more strongly stressed?
Syntax error on
token (curly brace), "inter-
face", "class" expected.
It's called a quine, and it's something of an ubergeeky pastime.
Example (not mine):
#!/usr/bin/perl
$s = q<print "#!/usr/bin/perl\n\$s = q<$s>;\n$s\n";>;
print "#!/usr/bin/perl\n\$s = q<$s>;\n$s\n";
Gee, that makes my head hurt...
Good luck making a true 5-7-5 haiku out of that, though.
-- B.
This sig does in fact not have the property it claims not to have.
the perl module Coy.
I swear I just can't stop using it. It cracks me up, at the same time keeps me in a good state of mind for coding.
#!/usr/bin/perl
print STDOUT "Hello World!\n";
die "When time is done.\n";
I'm cheating by speaking some punctuation and not others, so it is not elegant. It is also simple enough that ones along this theme have probably already been seen:
hash bang usr bin perl
print stan-dard out Hel-lo World
die when time is done
We really need a pronunciation guide for perl.
What a darling fascist bully-boy.
Don't mod if you don't get it.
IMDB
Boomshanka.
@remember = ("Republican", "Democrat", "Remember"); $you = "vote"; $easy = 0; print "Doesn't matter if\n";
for ($vote=0; $vote<=1; $vote++) { print "$remember[$easy]"; if ($easy eq "0") { print ", "; } $easy++; }
$be_heard = "Vote!"; if ($remember = $vote) { print "\n$remember[$easy] $vote $be_heard\n"; }
www.slightlycrewed.com - Because aren't we all?
thousand lines of perl
the regular expressions
sure looks like line noise
use 5; use strict 'subs';
study $ARG; for (;time = defined;) {}
do{ not (wait or sleep) };
Syntax delights me, two hundred ways to format text, what is not to love?
Winter into spring
Perl-based Spamassassin
allows bogus Habeas
Sleep is just a poor substitute for caffeine, anyway. -Bob Lehmann
Perl Perl Perl Perl Perl
Perl Perl Perl Perl Perl Perl Perl
Perl Perl Perl Perl Snow
The seasonal reference has been an integral part of haiku since Time Immorial. The explanation has been an integral part of the lameness filter since the mid-90s.
"These people look deep within my soul and assign me a number based on the order in which I joined" --Homer re:
"In accordance with Canadian law, in order to be declared a winner, Canadian residents must first correctly answer a mathematical skill-testing question, to be administered by email."
a l. html)
(http://activestate.com/Corporate/PerlHaiku/Leg
What's this about?
That was cool
huh huh when we killed that frog
huh huh it won't croak again.
--Butthead's Hiku for class
Huh huh, huh huh huh huh huh mmm
uh huh huh huh huh huh
huh huh huh
--Beavis' Hiku for class
"If you think you have things under control, you're not going fast enough." --Mario Andretti
A haiku contest
Pretentious assholes/experts
Perl crowd rejoices
Oh, yeah, almost forgot -- it's f*cking freezing.
And strict we go, CPAN we like We dual boot and have insight Or just stay there but cross compile
Girls with big asses
In my computer classes
Need to change major
Parrot not flying
Perl 6 don't roost there
Bring back Topaz?
Mysterious Perl
You have no clue why your code
Actually works
Never pet a burning dog.
Shine shi-ne shine shi-ne shine
Too bad the mods are smoking crack again tonight.
Footsteps down the hall
Window won't close fast enough
I scream "holy fuck."
Days slow down to crawl
Couch, Jerry Springer and Duff
Welfare payments suck.
New story
Slashdot fagotry
When will it end?
if ($man and $nantucket and $long) {
suckit();
wipechin();
grin();
}
this only applies to Japanese, where a syllable can punch a lot more weight than in English
you have it backwards!
English is the denser one
so try 3-5-3.
'Traditionally' haiki also feature an element of the weather
weather? not enough.
poet must imply season.
snow falls on fool's head.
With a small perl script
I will obsolete your job
Silence infidel!
# Erik
the only problem with haiku is that you're just getting started when
"syntactic suguar,"
absolutely I agree-
write in assembly!
how many syllables is "perl"? just making sure...