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It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.
What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:
I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.
Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'
As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.
And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!
Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:
'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'
Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?
We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.
Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.
In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practice of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.
Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.
And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.
The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.
The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even
say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts
faggotry is not optional but a way of life.
More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.
Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!
Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.
The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!
The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.
And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.
To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'
FEEDBACK
Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.
Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!
Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.
We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.
Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!
For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.
Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.
Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'
One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'
And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?
Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.
*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.
However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)
In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.
If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???
If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!
I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.
I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.
I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.
What the fuck?
Well bugger me!
Fuck right off!
IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.
Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.
Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.
Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?
Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.
ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!
It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.
What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:
I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.
Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'
As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.
And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!
Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:
'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'
Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?
We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.
Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.
In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practice of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.
Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.
And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.
The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.
The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even
say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts
faggotry is not optional but a way of life.
More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.
Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!
Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.
The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!
The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.
And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.
To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'
FEEDBACK
Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.
Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!
Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.
We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.
Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!
For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.
Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.
Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'
One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'
And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?
Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.
*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.
However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)
In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.
If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???
If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!
I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.
I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.
I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.
What the fuck?
Well bugger me!
Fuck right off!
IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.
Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.
Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.
Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?
Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.
ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!
It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.
What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken advocates:
I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show you that he is indeed queer.
Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'
As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says plainly.
And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a flaming homo slut!
Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual perversion of corrupting the innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:
'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'
Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And letting the other boys touch it too?
We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few who aren't aware of the list of homosexual terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and manipulative journalistic agenda.
Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.
In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The Slackware distro is named after the 'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes. Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference to the homosexual practice of anal fisting. The Mandrake product is run by a group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark amen and ram naked, which is what they do.
Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like 'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed, which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male penis, glistening with pre-cum. But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy term, again found in the secret homosexual 'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.
And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from a freshly violated underage ringpiece.
The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration, which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland. 'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and gay, and need to mount each other automatically.
The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main one is obviously /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even
say 'there is no /opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts
faggotry is not optional but a way of life.
More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love `man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda) should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their frequent recourse to a man.
Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent heterosexual Windows users know what this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!
Even the title 'Slashdot' originally referred to a homosexual practice. Slashdot of course refers to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are those super-zealous homosexuals who take this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.
The editors of Slashdot also have homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is 'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special 'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of penis discharge) toppings. And to make it even worse, Slashdot runs on Apache!
The Apache server, whose use among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows, popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it is for him that this gay program is named.
And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world -- patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even after its rupture by a session of fisting.
To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and disabled 'stumpers.'
FEEDBACK
Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to engulf our planet.
Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy. Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!
Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm, enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk, don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am the unknown liberator.
We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society. This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.
Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the money. Intellivision forever!
For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them. Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to salvation.
Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour. Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by a Black Man . Now fuck off you racist donkey felcher.
Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'
One scary thing about Perl is that it contains hidden homosexual messages. Take the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough, doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of 'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'
And PHP stands for Perverted Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?
Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing Uranus for years.
*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the Good Lord's work, but it is encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.
However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the 'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual intercourse -- their favourite kind.)
In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties, (Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the 'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.' (i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.
If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???
If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join with us in our battle for freedom!
I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire brush of enlightenment.
I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,' as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.
I sincerely hope you're Natalie Portman.
What the fuck?
Well bugger me!
Fuck right off!
IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so it has been released into the Public Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.
Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me, because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the homosexual practice of holding the base of the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later. Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.
Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions are welcome.
Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV' as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links). Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?
Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed. Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.
ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!
It has come to my attention that the entire Linux community is a hotbed
of so called 'alternative sexuality,' which includes anything from
hedonistic orgies to homosexuality to pedophilia.
What better way of demonstrating this than by looking at the hidden
messages contained within the names of some of Linux's most outspoken
advocates:
anagram of slit anus or VD 'L,' clearly referring to himself by the
first initial.
spokespervert for the Gaysex's Not Unusual 'movement'
is an anagram of mans cram thrill ad.
anagram of anal cox which is just so filthy and unchristian it
unnerves me.
I'm sure that Eric S. Raymond, composer of the satanic homosexual propaganda diatribe The Cathedral
and the Bizarre, is probably an anagram of something queer, but we don't
need to look that far as we know he's always shoving a gun up some poor
little boy's rectum. Update: Eric S. Raymond is actually an anagram
for secondary rim and cord in my arse. It just goes to show
you that he is indeed queer.
Update the Second: It is also documented that Evil Sicko Gaymond
is responsible for a nauseating piece of code called Fetchmail, which is obviously
sinister sodomite slang for 'Felch Male' -- a disgusting practise. For those
not in the know, 'felching' is the act performed by two perverts wherein one
sucks their own post-coital ejaculate out of the other's rectum. In fact, it
appears that the dirty Linux faggots set out to undermine the good
Republican institution of e-mail, turning it into 'e-male.'
As far as Richard 'Master' Stallman goes, that filthy fudge-packer was actually
quoted on leftist commie propaganda site Salon.com as saying the
following: 'I've been resistant to the pressure to conform in any
circumstance,' he says. 'It's about being able to question conventional
wisdom,' he asserts. 'I believe in love, but not monogamy,' he says
plainly.
And this isn't a made up troll bullshit either! He actually stated this
tripe, which makes it obvious that he is trying to politely say that he's a
flaming homo slut!
Speaking about 'flaming,' who better to point out as a filthy chutney
ferret than Slashdot's very own self-confessed pederast Jon Katz. Although
an obvious deviant anagram cannot be found from his name, he has already
confessed, nay boasted of the homosexual
perversion of corrupting the
innocence of young children. To quote from the article linked:
'I've got a rare kidney disease,' I told her. 'I have to go to the
bathroom a lot. You can come with me if you want, but it takes a while. Is
that okay with you? Do you want a note from my doctor?'
Is this why you were touching your penis in the cinema, Jon? And
letting the other boys touch it too?
We should also point out that Jon Katz refers to himself as 'Slashdot's
resident Gasbag.' Is there any more doubt? For those fortunate few
who aren't aware of the list of homosexual
terminology found inside the Linux 'Sauce Code,' a 'Gasbag' is a pervert who
gains sexual gratification from having a thin straw inserted into his
urethra (or to use the common parlance, 'piss-pipe'), then his homosexuallover blows firmly down the straw to
inflate his scrotum. This is, of course, when he's not busy violating the
dignity and copyright of posters to Slashdot by gathering together their
postings and publishing them en masse to further his twisted and
manipulative journalistic agenda.
Sick, disgusting antichristian perverts, the lot of them.
In addition, many of the Linux distributions (a 'distribution' is the
most common way to spread the faggots' wares) are run by faggot groups. The
Slackware distro is named after the
'Slack-wear' fags wear to allow easy access to the anus for sexual purposes.
Furthermore, Slackware is a close anagram of claw arse, a reference
to the homosexual practice of anal fisting.
The Mandrake product is run by a
group of French faggot satanists, and is named after the faggot nickname for
the vibrator. It was also chosen because it is an anagram for dark
amen and ram naked, which is what they do.
Another 'distro,' (abbrieviated as such because it sounds a bit like
'Disco,' which is where homosexuals preyed
on young boys in the 1970s), is Debian, an anagram of in a bed,
which could be considered innocent enough (after all, a bed is both where we
sleep and pray), until we realise what other names Debian uses to describe
their foul wares. 'Woody' is obvious enough, being a term for the erect male
penis, glistening with pre-cum.
But far sicker is the phrase 'Frozen Potato' that they use. This filthy
term, again found in the secret homosexual
'Sauce Code,' refers to the solo homosexual
practice of defecating into a clear polythene bag, shaping the turd into a
crude approximation of the male phallus, then leaving it in the freezer
overnight until it becomes solid. The practitioner then proceeds to push the
frozen 'potato' up his own rectum, squeezing it in and out until his tight
young balls erupt in a screaming orgasm.
And Red Hat is secret homo slang for the tip of a penis that is soaked in blood from
a freshly violated underage ringpiece.
The fags have even invented special tools to aid their faggotry! For
example, the 'supermount' tool was devised to allow deeper penetration,
which is good for fags because it gives more pressure on the prostate gland.
'Automount' is used, on the other hand, because Linux users are all fat and
gay, and need to mount each other
automatically.
The depths of their depravity can be seen in their use of 'mount points.' /anus, but there are others. Militant fags even
/opt mount point' because for these dirty perverts
These are, plainly speaking, the different points of penetration. The main
one is obviously
say 'there is no
faggotry is not optional but a way of life.
More evidence is in the fact that Linux users say how much they love
`man`, even going so far as to say that all new Linux users (who
are in fact just innocent heterosexuals indoctrinated by the gay propaganda)
should try out `man`. In no other system do users boast of their
frequent recourse to a man.
Other areas of the system also show Linux's inherit gayness. For
example, people are often told of the 'FAQ,' but how many innocent
heterosexual Windows users know what
this actually means. The answer is shocking: Faggot Anal Quest: the
voyage of discovery for newly converted fags!
Even the title 'Slashdot'
originally referred to a homosexual
practice. Slashdot of course refers
to the popular gay practice of blood-letting. The Slashbots, of course are
those super-zealous homosexuals who take
this perversion to its extreme by ripping open their anuses, as seen on the
site most popular with Slashdot users, the depraved work of Satan, http://www.eff.org/.
The editors of Slashdot also have
homosexual names: 'Hemos' is obvious in
itself, being one vowel away from 'Homos.' But even more sickening is
'Commander Taco' which sounds a bit like 'Commode in Taco,' filthy gay slang
for a pair of spreadeagled buttocks that are caked with excrement . (The best form
of lubrication, they insist.) Sometimes, these 'Taco Commodes' have special
'Salsa Sauce' (blood from a ruptured rectum) and 'Cheese' (rancid flakes of
penis discharge) toppings. And
to make it even worse, Slashdot runs
on Apache!
The Apache server, whose use
among fags is as prevalent as AIDS, is named after homosexual activity -- as everyone knows,
popular faggot band, the Village People, featured an Apache Indian, and it
is for him that this gay program is named.
And that's not forgetting the use of patches in the Linux fag world --
patches are used to make the anus accessible for repeated anal sex even
after its rupture by a session of fisting.
To summarise: Linux is gay. 'Slash -- Dot' is the graphical description
of the space between a young boy's scrotum and anus. And BeOS is for hermaphrodites and
disabled 'stumpers.'
FEEDBACK
Well, the only reason I know all about this is because I had the
misfortune to read the Linux 'Sauce code' once. Although publicised as the
computer code needed to get Linux up and running on a computer (and haven't
you always been worried about the phrase 'Monolithic Kernel'?), this foul
document is actually a detailed and graphic description of every conceivable
degrading perversion known to the human race, as well as a few of the major
animal species. It has shocked and disturbed me, to the point of needing to
shock and disturb the common man to warn them of the impending homo-calypse which threatens to
engulf our planet.
Doesn't it give you a hard-on to imagine your thick strong poker ramming
it's way up my most sacred of sphincters? You're beyond help, my friend, as
the only thing you can imagine is the foul penetrative violation of another
man. Are you sure you're not Eric Raymond? The government, being populated
by limp-wristed liberals, could never stem the sickening tide of homosexual child molesting Linux advocacy.
Hell, they've given NAMBLA free reign for years!
Thank you for your kind words of support. However, this document shall
only ever be posted anonymously. This is because the 'Open Sauce' movement
is a sham, proposing homoerotic cults of hero worshipping in the name of
freedom. I speak for the common man. For any man who prefers the warm,
enveloping velvet folds of a woman's vagina to the
tight puckered ringpiece of a child. These men, being common, decent folk,
don't have a say in the political hypocrisy that is Slashdot culture. I am
the unknown liberator.
We shouldn't hate them, we should pity them for the misguided fools they
are... Fanatical Linux zeal-outs need to be herded into camps for
re-education and subsequent rehabilitation into normal heterosexual society.
This re-education shall be achieved by forcing them to watch repeats of
Baywatch until the very mention of Pamela Anderson causes
them to fill their pants with healthy heterosexual jism.
Well, it just goes to show that even the holy Linux 'sauce code' is
riddled with bugs that need fixing. (The irony of Jon Katz not even being
able to inflate his scrotum correctly has not been lost on me.) The Linux
pervert elite already acknowledge this, with their queer slogan: 'Given
enough arms, all rectums are shallow.' And anyway, the PS2 sucks major cock and isn't worth the
money. Intellivision forever!
For one thing, whilst Linux is a cavalcade of queer propaganda
masquerading as the future of computing, NT is used by people who think nothing
better of encasing their genitals in quick setting plaster then going to see
a really dirty porno film, enjoying the restriction enforced onto them.
Remember, a wasted arousal is a sin in the eyes of the Catholic church. Clearly, the only
god-fearing Christian operating system in existence is CP/M -- The Christian
Program Monitor. All computer users should immediately ask their local
pastor to install this fine OS onto their systems. It is the only route to
salvation.
Secondly, this message is for every man. Computers know no colour.
Not only that, but one of the finest websites in the world is maintained by
a Black Man . Now fuck off
you racist donkey felcher.
Although there is nothing unholy about the fine heterosexual act of
ejaculating between a woman's breasts, squirting one's load up towards her
neck and chin area, it should be noted that Perl (standing for Pansies
Entering Rectums Locally) is also close to 'Pearl
Monocle,' 'Pearl Nosering,' and the ubiquitous 'Pearl Enema.'
One scary thing about Perl is that it
contains hidden homosexual messages. Take
the following code: LWP::Simple -- It looks innocuous enough,
doesn't it? But look at the line closely: There are two colons next to
each other! As Larry 'Balls to the' Wall would openly admit in the Perl
Documentation, Perl was designed from the ground up to indoctrinate it's
programmers into performing unnatural sexual acts -- having two colons so
closely together is clearly a reference to the perverse sickening act of
'colon kissing,' whereby two homosexual
queers spread their buttocks wide, pressing their filthy torn sphincters
together. They then share small round objects like marbles or golfballs by
passing them from one rectum to another using muscle contraction alone. This
is also referred to in programming 'circles' as 'Parameter Passing.'
And PHP stands for Perverted
Homosexual Penetration. Didn't you know?
Well, I don't know about terraforming Mars, but I do know that homosexual Linux Advocates have been probing
Uranus for years.
*sniff* That brings a tear to my eye. Thank you once more for
your kind support. I have taken faith in the knowledge that I am doing the
Good Lord's work, but it is
encouraging to know that I am helping out the common man here.
However, I should be cautious about revealing your name 'Cerberus' on
such a filthy den of depravity as Slashdot. It is a well known fact that the
'Kerberos' documentation from Microsoft is a detailed manual describing, in
intimate, exacting detail, how to sexually penetrate a variety of unwilling
canine animals; be they domesticated, wild, or mythical. Slashdot posters
have taken great pleasure in illegally spreading this documentation far and
wide, treating it as an 'extension' to the Linux 'Sauce Code,' for the sake
of 'interoperability.' (The slang term they use for nonconsensual
intercourse -- their favourite kind.)
In fact, sick twisted Linux deviants are known to have LAN parties,
(Love of Anal Naughtiness, needless to say.), wherein
they entice a stray dog, known as the 'Samba Mount,' into their homes. Up to
four of these filth-sodden blasphemers against nature take turns to plunge
their erect, throbbing, uncircumcised members, conkers-deep, into the
rectum, mouth, and other fleshy orifices of the poor animal. Eventually, the
'Samba Mount' collapses due to 'overload,' and needs to be 'rebooted.'
(i.e., kicked out into the street, and left to fend for itself.) Many
Linux users boast about their 'uptime' in such situations.
If only indeed. You can help our brave cause by moderating this message
up as often as possible. I recommend '+1, Underrated,' as that will protect
your precious Karma in Metamoderation. Only then can we
break through the glass ceiling of Homosexual Slashdot Culture. Is it any
wonder that the new version of Slashcode has been christened 'Bender'???
If we can get just one of these postings up to at least '+1,' then it
will be archived forever! Others will learn of our struggle, and join
with us in our battle for freedom!
I am compelled to document the foulness and carnal depravity that is Linux, in order
that we may prepare ourselves for the great holy war that is to follow. It
is my solemn duty to peel back the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wire
brush of enlightenment.
I could make an arrogant, childish comment along the lines of 'Every time
someone asks for 2.0, I won't release it for another 24 hours,' but the
truth of the matter is that I'm quite nervous of releasing a 'number two,'
as I can guarantee some filthy shit-slurping Linux pervert would want to
suck it straight out of my anus before I've even had chance to wipe.
I sincerely hope you're Natalie
Portman.
What the fuck?
Well bugger me!
Fuck right off!
IMPORTANT: This message needs to be heard (Not HURD , which is an acronym for 'Huge
Unclean Rectal Dilator') across the whole community, so
it has been released into the Public
Domain. You know, that licence that we all had before those homoerotic
crypto-fascists came out with the GPL (Gay
Penetration License) that is no more than an excuse to see
who's got the biggest feces-encrusted cock. I
would have put this up on Freshmeat, but that name is
known to be a euphemism for the tight rump of a young boy.
Come to think of it, the whole concept of 'Source Control' unnerves me,
because it sounds a bit like 'Sauce Control,' which is a description of the
homosexual practice of holding the base of
the cock shaft tightly upon the point of ejaculation, thus causing a build
up of semenal fluid that is only released upon entry into an incision made
into the base of the receiver's scrotum. And 'Open Sauce' is the act of
ejaculating into another mans face or perhaps a biscuit to be shared later.
Obviously, 'Closed Sauce' is the only Christian thing to do, as evidenced by
the fact that it is what Cathedrals are all about.
Contributors: (although not to the eternal game of 'soggy
biscuit' that open 'sauce' development has become) Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, phee, Anonymous Coward, mighty jebus, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, double_h, Anonymous Coward, Eimernase, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward,
Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward, Anonymous Coward. Further contributions
are welcome.
Current changes: This version sent to FreeWIPO by 'Bring BackATV'
as plain text. Reformatted everything, added all links back in (that we
could match from the previous version), many new ones (Slashbot bait links).
Even more spelling fixed. Who wrote this thing, CmdrTaco himself?
Previous changes: Yet more changes added. Spelling fixed.
Feedback added. Explanation of 'distro' system. 'Mount Point' syntax
described. More filth regarding `man` and Slashdot. Yet more
fucking spelling fixed. 'Fetchmail' uncovered further. More Slashbot
baiting. Apache exposed. Distribution licence at foot of document.
ANUX -- A full Linux distribution... Up your ass!
"The gas is yours, the ideas -- ours!" Blech.
;)
Touche. I haven't seen a translation, but Mel Brooks (someone I otherwise like and admire) made and awful, awful slapstick comedy out of it.
When I first read it, I thought this was one of the most striking literary images of Jesus, and I still think that one of the most important points this book makes is ridiculing the "scientific atheism" attitude of the Communist reality.
Being a godless infidel, doesn't mean that cannot appreaciate a good story, or a good telling of it. The story of Jesus is important and interesting in in it's own right, and Bulgakov's retelling is one of the most interesting, especially in the context of the rest of that book. Alhtough I did enjoy from the same perspective and he presented, not so much a story "about" Ieshua, but "about" Pontius Pilate. I like historical literature of almost all kinds - from textbooks to fiction.
As an example: I enjoy the story of Demeter and Kore, I think it is beautiful and quite profound (in it's own context) at the same time. But to appreciate it, I don't have to believe that Zeus is the king of the gods, and that Hades rules the Underwold, do I?
A more crass example would be to say that I don't have to think that Homer Simpson is real, to think he is funny.
As you've said yourself, my problem is with religion, not with good writing or great storytelling. And I have nothing against a world where God exists.
BTW, do you have any doubt that church authorities in this country would condemn this book as "false image of god" and an abomination of some sort (or whatever phrases they usually use in these cases) had they had the opportunity to read it? And probably banned it, if this was a few centuries ago.
Besides, Bulgakov's portrayal of how things would work is a hell of a lot more realistic than Christian dogma, especially his ending.
why is it that so many Russian titles just don't carry the same, I don't know, "punch" when translated?
I know how you feel -- it's the same with Bulgarian literature. It just seems to me that, for many years, we were trying to bring Western culture closer to us, but we never thought about going in the opposite direction -- making good translations from Slavic languages to English. I mean, I don't even know if anyone ever attempted to translate Ilf i Petrov -- and when you think about it, a literal translation would sound horrible: "The gas is yours, the ideas -- ours!" Blech. This obviously requires talent.
Something I forgot to include in the previous post -- what do you think of Bulgakov's portrayal of Jesus and his attitude towards religion? I'm just curious how you can appreciate The Master... and be so much against religion. When I first read it, I thought this was one of the most striking literary images of Jesus, and I still think that one of the most important points this book makes is ridiculing the "scientific atheism" attitude of the Communist reality.
Well presumably Bulgaria is much closer to Russia in both language and culture, so the translation would seem easier to accomplish.
:) Same thing with "Mertvie Dushi", "Voina i Mir" (of course here the translation also misses out on the play on words), hell, even "Dvenadzat' Stul'ev"/"Zolotoy Telenok" and "Vechera na hutore bliz Dikanki" ;)
hmm... "Heart of a Dog"... why is it that so many Russian titles just don't carry the same, I don't know, "punch" when translated? "Sobachye Serdce" - there's a title! "Heart of a dog" just sounds bland and uninteresting
I am actually pretty lucky that Russian is my native language and I can read these without much investment... now I only need to learn German and French - I have a sneaking suspicion that translations of Hesse, Kafka and Proust are as poor as some already mentioned... well, maybe not quite that bad.
Wow. I'm not the only Slashdot junkie who reads Bulgakov. That's pretty cool. You are right that both major English translations of The Master and Margarita (Glenny, 1967 and Pevear, Volokhonsky, 1997) stink, but I actually discovered Bulgakov by reading the Bulgarian translations of Heart of a Dog and The Master..., which I esteem very highly and find to be much better than their English counterparts.
:-) I really wish Slavic scholars put more effort towards translating 20th century Slavic literature.
And of course, there are many more Russian authors which I'd like to read in original, not only Bulgakov. Ah, so little time, so many things to do...
Oh and by the way, the word sarcoma (it's a Latin medical term for malignant tumor) does exist in English, so I'd think it would be acceptable to use it here. I can't help you with Binom Newtona, though
Best. Book. Ever.
Bulgakov is quite seriously one of the greatest writers of this century (well the previous century, technically, I suppose). Although all the English translations I've seen are piss (even here, it's not a "heart attack" but a "sarkoma lehkogo" damned if I know how to translate it properly, but they didn't even try) - I highly recommend learning Russian just to read this book - trust me, it's worth it.
PS Let's not forget the classic translation of "Tozhe mne, Binom Newtona! On umret..." as "Using Newton's Binom, I've calculated that he will die..." - How do I even begin with that one?
' But this is the question that disturbs me--if there is no God, then who, one wonders, rules the life of man and keeps the world in order? '
... a slight heart attack . . . ' at this the foreigner smiled sweetly, as though the thought of a heart attack gave him pleasure. . . . ' Yes, a heart attack,' he repeated the word sonorously, grinning like a cat, ' and that's the end of you as an organiser! No one's fate except your own interests you any longer. Your relations start lying to you. Sensing that something is amiss you rush to a specialist, then to a charlatan, and even perhaps to a fortune-teller. Each of them is as useless as the other, as you know
perfectly well. And it all ends in tragedy: the man who thought he was in charge is suddenly reduced to lying prone and motionless in a wooden box and his fellow men, realising that there is no more sense to be had of him, incinerate him.
' Man rules himself,' said Bezdomny angrily in answer to such an obviously absurd question.
' I beg your pardon,' retorted the stranger quietly,' but to rule one must have a precise plan worked out for some reasonable period ahead. Allow me to enquire how man can control his own affairs when he is not only incapable of compiling a plan for some laughably short term, such as, say, a thousand years, but cannot even predict what will happen to him tomorrow? '
' In fact,' here the stranger turned to Berlioz, ' imagine what would happen if you, for instance, were to start organising others and yourself, and you developed a taste for it--then suddenly you got. . . he, he
' Sometimes it can be even worse : a man decides to go to Kislovodsk,'--here the stranger stared at Berlioz--' a trivial matter you may think, but he cannot because for no good reason he suddenly jumps up and falls under a tram! You're not going to tell me that he arranged to do that himself? Wouldn't it be nearer the truth to say that someone quite different was directing his fate?' The stranger gave an eerie peal of laughter.
"I don't know what Linus' stance is on theistic beliefs,"
t ml#3
Seems to be agnostic or atheist: http://www.celebatheists.com/entries/atheist_36.h
What about God? What about your atom bomb?
If you want to heap every rape and murder, every innocent upon a persons religious faith, then I can at least heap on the atom bomb on your "technological truth" you are selling me.
How has that nuke bomb research (probably the one thing the US has put more test money into than anything else) done but make the world a more dangerous place? I'm not talking about reactors or radiology... I'm talking bigger bombs. That is a great example of mature thinking. Just because we can, doesn't mean we should. Your attempt to tell me that it is a fear of the different. Typical scientist. It certainly wasn't Oppenheimers fault. He didn't do anything that anyone else would do. Riiight. Bohr thought the original nuke test was going to kill all life on earth, but they looked at him and pushed the button anyway. Pure monkey genius.
You haven't run into a high school with guns blazing yet, have you? Why? BECAUSE IT IS NOT SANE. Its the same reasoning that keeps you alive. That reasoning should tell you that zebra people are not cool. That some things should be left to nature. Insanity happens on a planetary and scientific level.
"Your God" indeed. Where is yours? Where is any of your aspirations of humanity? My God cares. You, my friend, are hung up on something earthbound, and not looking at God's big infinite picture... and the fact that you are a monkey with a little brain, and will never command the universe. Ever. Not a million years of humanity. Never.
I want my children to be happy humans... you want them to be some kind of modified freaks that think they can beat death. Well, all things die according to their design. Even Galaxies and stars. Twisting humanity's design won't change that. Better is a relative term. I have no problem stopping disease. However, immortality is a hilarious concept... which is what you and other Godless ones are striving for, just like all of us, but it won't save you. Matter of fact it frustrates you.
Your kind of thinking doesn't take into consideration morals. You know what? That's fine. You make your own choices. We all do. Just don't think that I am going to sit by and watch while your "purely scientific" quest for knowledge releases another one of those fucking brilliant atom bomb ideas again.
Even Albert Einstein was a deeply religious person. But according to your criteria, that would make him a fool. Yes. Fool indeed. A brilliant fool.
That was the man that blueprinted the idea of an atom bomb. Spent his whole life trying to put the genie back in the bottle. Think about his perspective. Then think about all things. Science is a discipline, not a God.
Oh yes, because once I "get" what it's saying, I will of course abandon my godless ways and turn to the True Path.
It's a nice book, has some interesting things in it (most from a historical perspective, but not all), and certainly the writers had their hearts in the right place. It's gotten a bit outdated in the last couple of millenia though, and certainly is not a substitute for personal morals and ethics, which is what it tries hardest to be.
BTW, how does our conception of logic conflict with an anthropomorphic deity? And what do you mean by that there is no reason in point #2?
I am done. I could've (and was planning) to spew forth about half a dozen paragraphs here, but I probably have better things to do.
Everyone here convinced me - there is an invisible man in the sky, he created the world because he was bored, and if were were good people all we would do would be have a big fucking circle-jerk all day long about how great he is. Sure you think I am oversimplyfing the matter and sapping it of it's eternal truth mojo or whatever. Am I though?
Arguing about gods is useless
:)
That, of course, would depend on who is arguing.
why would one bother to argue with that?
Well, I have had to in certain situations. Unfortunately, some people just can't keep their religious beliefs to themselves and feel the need to force them on to others.
My right remains, and that is to mock it because its silly, ridiculous, and in the end, manipulative.
It certainly is. Although you wouldn't need to as you wouldn't even recognize it as a god (in these circumstances at least).
BTW, how does our conception of logic conflict with an anthropomorphic deity? And what do you mean by that there is no reason in point #2?
-
Not quite true, it also aplies to the general concept of humans creating gods and the numerous examples throughout history. more importantly, you are missing the point - my last two "reasons" are far more important than the first three, in every situation. they are what explains why these silly arguments exist in the first place.
I personally define a "god" (for these purposes) as any deity described with anthropomorphic qualities, in either appearance or intellect, this leaves little room for grey areas (though some still exist). All the agnostic notions of an overrearching force, or fate or whatnot that controls and guides our lives, either fall under category of "god" by giving this entity human emotions or ideals, or is simply an exercise in "linguistic misdirection" (if I can wax poetic here), if you think about it, the concept of "fate" is rather meaningless. But the thinking is required.
Arguing about gods is useless (even more useless than arguing on the internet), in a "formal" argument, the idea of a god (especially of the Jedo-Christian variaty as it stands right now) is well, simply insulting to anyone who believes humans to posses intelligence. The more personal "argument" of "I believe in God because I want to/god told me/that's the only trught/the bible says so" cannot be approached with human inelligence since it refuses to conform to logic (I do realize that, that is specifically the intention), but more importantly - why would one bother to argue with that?
Don't get me wrong, religion has been a very important and powerful force in the shaping of our civilization. A lot of things, both good and bad have come from religion, but in the end, religion and the existence of a god are two things that really don't relate to each other.
To recap my rant - your friend can believe whatever the hell he or she wants, that's their right. My right remains, and that is to mock it because its silly, ridiculous, and in the end, manipulative. And until those who believe in a god start making sense, I will not take them seriously. God bless America.
Your points only make sense if you are talking about a specific god or you have a criteria for determining what is and what is not a god.
For example, I can think of at least one person I know who defies a god that fulfills your first 3 reasons for not believing. The other two are not relevant in his case...
-
Assuming that those who do not believe in a god do so simply because we cannot "see" a god is also very arrogant. Here's why there is no god:
1 there is no evidence of god
2 there is no reason for a god to exist
3 based on our conception of logic, a god cannot exist
4 we know why, when and how the stories of gods were made up and propagated
5 we know why and how the stories of gods were accepted and used, and for what purposes
I don't dismiss a god because of some inability to "see" one, I dismiss it because I've spent years studying history, mythology and theology and because I am a reasonable person.
but the bible tells me its true!!!:)
Linus seems pretty smart and reasonable. I find it disappointing that he so smugly suggests there is no God. Just because he cannot see the hand of God at work, he reasons it is not there.
Yes, let's hope that he's more open minded about fairies, unicorns and the Easter Bunny.