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Windows 99 Beer and Cigarettes

fire writes "I was listening to National Public Radio here in the US, and they've talked about a new beer called Windows 99. It is produced in St. Petersburg, Russia, and it seems there is nothing Microsoft can do. The producer exploited Russia's poor trademark law to trademark the name Windows 99 for all food, drink, and tobacco products. They also said that they will start producing cigarettes under the label Windows 99." See? I told you that Windows was bad for your health. Here's a link to an article about it taken from the St. Petersburg Times.

25 of 142 comments (clear)

  1. Poor trademark laws? by Lord+Kano · · Score: 2

    I don't see this as an exploit of any kind, in the US it might have even bee possible to do this because.

    1. M$ owns the rights to Windows x.x, Windows 95, Windows 98, Windoes 2000, Windows NT and they're all OSes.

    2. If you want to produce a product with a similar name but not the same type of product there is no chance of confusing the consumer and there is no legal recourse that M$ can take if the name is different.

    3. This type of think could have occurred in just about any country, not just Russia.

    LK

    --
    "Hi. This is my friend, Jack Shit, and you don't know him." - Lord Kano
  2. Article Feedback: 1/01/100 by Robotech_Master · · Score: 2

    I can't believe nobody has yet commented on the dates for the feedback that follows the above-linked article.

    All those 1/01/100s look so nice and nifty, don't they?

    --
    Editor Emeritus and Senior Writer, TeleRead.org
  3. New from MicroBrew by webslacker · · Score: 2

    Windows99 beer! Where do you wanna puke today?

  4. Why didn't they go with Windows 2000 instead? by mind21_98 · · Score: 2

    If they went with Windows 2000 their beer and cigarettes would seem newer with most Russians. But it'd probably be more expensive as well as they would have had the run of the Russian alcohol market :)

  5. Re:Stock prices!! by Foogle · · Score: 2
    First, I don't think that the company's name is Windows99, so it's not like an investor would be throwing money directly into Windows99. And even if it was the company's name, any investor who'd throw money at it without researching would have to be either stupid or drunk (which is always a possibility).

    -----------

    "You can't shake the Devil's hand and say you're only kidding."

  6. Re:I don't get it. by Foogle · · Score: 2
    I think his point was that people in the US have done the same thing already with Linux, in the form of a fabric softener. To the best of my knowledge this has nothing to do with Russian Trademark laws -- you'd be able to get away with the same thing here, on the grounds that the products were completely unrelated.

    -----------

    "You can't shake the Devil's hand and say you're only kidding."

  7. Marketing Slogans... by ScottyLad · · Score: 2

    Ok, so the Russians have nicked the name "Windows" for their beer... how about some subtle modifications to current beer slogans as a marketing ploy?

    Windows 99.... refreshes the parts other beers don't reach (like the MSN homepage when you first install)

    Windows 99.... Probably the best mugger in the world

    Windows 99.... King of Fears

    Windows 99.... It's Biller Time

    Windows 99.... He who drinks Billy's thinks Willys

    Windows 99.... Crash out with a fresh one

    Windows 99.... End users wouldn't give a XXXX for anything else

    Windows 99.... It doesn't get you drunk, leaves a foul taste in your mouth and costs too much but hey, your boss will like it!

    I'll never assume that a rogue or a thief is a gentleman worthy implicit belief just because his attourney has sent me a brief, said I to myself said I - Gilbert and Sullivan

    --
    Philosopher (n) - a wise person who is calm and rational; someone who lives a life of reason with equanimity
  8. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 2

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  9. Re:Gur hur hur by jeremy+f · · Score: 2

    Red Hat beer -- they'll give you the recipe for free, they'll sell you the beer for very cheap, but if you need a ride home after the party, they'll charge upwards of $25/hr/person.

  10. NEWSFLASH -- Linux beer by danish · · Score: 2

    MOSCOW -- A previously obscure maker of vodka announced today that they would begin producing a new brand of vodka, named after the free operating system Linux.

    "Like Linux, the 'source code,' or recipe, will be included on each bottle. We will also be selling -- at cost -- brew-at-home kits," a company spokesperson said.

    When asked how they intended to make a profit from such a business plan, the spokesperson stated that they would "offer assistance with the brew-at-home kit, for a charge," and that "most people would rather buy a complete bottle anyway."

    Linus Torvalds, owner of the Linux operating system trademark, was quoted as saying "It'd be nice to see Linux vodka beat out this other Windows product I've heard about."

    However, not all in the free software community felt the same way. Richard Stallman stated that "this Linux vodka would have been nothing without my Emacs editor, used to create the recipe! And of course, all the other GNU tools used in its creation. I would like for it to be renamed as GNU/Linux vodka."

    Company executives, however, seemed not to care much at all about Stallman's concerns.

    When the "geek community" of Slashdot was asked, many comments seemed rather cryptic. Indeed, there were many posts reading only "F1r5t p0st!" or "Natalie Portman petrified and naked!"

    Dear my! What are those things coming out of her nose?
    Spaceballs!

  11. Re:Where's the limit? by quonsar · · Score: 2

    Windows underpants?

    BSOD == Brown Streak of Death

    ======
    "Rex unto my cleeb, and thou shalt have everlasting blort." - Zorp 3:16

  12. Any russians? by gnarphlager · · Score: 2

    Can you confirm this? More importantly, can you ship me a bottle or two? Oh, and if they EVER realease the windows gum; I'm all over that.

    Think about it. The ability to grind windows between your teeth and chew angrily for hours and hours. Suffering is much more important than death, and quite frankly, chewing on windows cds doesn't taste as good as you might at first suspect.

    --

    Bad things often happen to good people,
    It is up to them to see that they remain good.
  13. Throwing Stones. by Greg+Merchan · · Score: 2

    Hmm... I wonder if I can get windows for my home office? Or maybe for my car? Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Even better!

    Windows for Exterior Walls!

    Aren't trademarks on common words not allowed? Seems like 'Windows' would have been defenestrated years ago. Maybe it wasn't because a computer window is not like a architectual window. But then again, windowing in GUI's has been around since...GUI's were invented (IIRC). Isn't that enough to get it tossed out the court ... well, you know.

    Unless you count a classic method of leaving a bar, it seems like the Russian trademark should hold more beer^H^H^H^Hwater.

    Waiter! There's a bug in my Windows!

  14. Actual Windows Beer Ad... by whiteinge · · Score: 2

    Or at least a picture of the bottles:
    http://www.eseth.com/windowsbeer.jpg
    ~@~

  15. Gur hur hur by Zagato-sama · · Score: 2

    Oh the hillarity. Of course if this was linux trademark infringement then everyone would be screaming bloody murder ;)

    1. Re:Gur hur hur by jacobm · · Score: 3

      Dude, if they made Slackware Linux beer I'd buy two cases.

      =)

      --
      -jacob
  16. GOOD trademark law by mattdm · · Score: 3
    This is not poor trademark law; this is good law. Trademarks are not universal, and apply only within certain classes of goods and services. (This is true in the US as well. And incidentally, one of the reasons trademark law shouldn't and can't be applied directly to domain names.) Microsoft's "Windows" products are computer software. And, for example, Andersen and Pella use "Windows" in a different sense, and that's none of Microsoft's business.

    --

  17. how about Blue Screen Of Death by sled · · Score: 3

    for the name of a new brand of cheap booze?

  18. I can see the beer ads now: by Ravenfeather · · Score: 3
    TWBMUB*

    Windows 99 - it will make you boot. And boot. And boot. And boot....

    *This Will Be Moderated Up But
  19. Bill Gates'll keep his by MikeBabcock · · Score: 3

    I can see Bill Gates keeping his two bottles on his big executive desk for visitors. I can't imagine him getting rid of them or doing anything but laughing. His corporate marketing people would probably be pissed as heck, but he'll probably get a kick out of it.

    --
    - Michael T. Babcock (Yes, I blog)
  20. Warning by BMIComp · · Score: 3

    I still think there should be surgeon general's warnings on microsoft products

    Surgeon Generals Warning:
    Installation of this product may result in your computers unwilligness to function.

    Other Irreversible side effects: Internet Explorer

  21. Windows 99 beer by sjames · · Score: 4

    Please keep in mind, if you install windows 99:

    Driving under Windows 99 is an illegal operation, law enforcement WILL take an exception, and you will crash due to driver errors. This time, the BSOD is forever!

  22. Dumb Jokes Alert! by cburley · · Score: 4
    A beer named "Windows 99"??!

    I'll bet Microsoft executives are hopping mad!

    This oughta set a record for beta-test volunteer sign-ups!

    BSOD => BrewSki Of Death

    Suggested motto: "When every day is just another excuse to crash!"

    Suggested motto: "Had it with computer viruses? Behold the joy of yeast!"

    Suggested motto: "Windows 99: start me up, and you'll definitely never stop!"

    Suggested motto: "Our beer will make a grown woman cry, too!"

    Suggested motto: "What, do you want to `go', today?"

    (BTW, "hopping"...hops...get it?)

    Now I'm looking forward to the press release from Microsoft claiming that the mere existence of "Windows 99" beer shows that it's not a monopoly....

    --
    Practice random senselessness and act kind of beautiful.
  23. linux by mcc · · Score: 5

    Windows 99 beer and cigarretes are of course very popular substances for a legal high that kills you very, very slowly and increasingly painfully over time.

    However, most college students have turned to "experimenting" with various strange substances. For example, snorting of Linux laundry detergent has become unusually popular in the last year, and reported overdoses have increased by more than 10000%. The popular detergent is imported from northeastern europe.

    We went to visit Steve Jobs, permanent interrim CEO of Apple Computer, to ask him his opinion on these trends. He was smoking something wrapped up in a small piece of paper-- we didn't catch what. His only response was to giggle strangely, then mumble something about "hey man, at least my liver's going to be ok" and cough loudly. he then picked up a phone, called Avie Tevanian, and ordered the entire Apple campus at 1 infinite loop (including the grass) to be painted a bright pastel blue by tomorrow. He seemed very.. relaxed throughout the entire interview.

    Meanwhile a certain professor at Berkeley University has been encouraging everyone to "Turn on, tune in, drop out" by using a substance called BSD.

    Trip on.

  24. Microsoft may just use this to their advantage by Alorelith · · Score: 5

    Who's to say that Microsoft just won't take this opportunity to buy out this company and go into the tobacco/alcohol business? I think it would be really easy to subvert drunks into buying MS products.