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Microsoft Certified Professional Action Figures

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the bill-gates-versus-cobra-commander dept.

Ego writes "Ever want to have your very own Microsoft Certified Professional Action Figure?" 'Jump into action with Dan, Kim, and Nate your desktop buddies,' the ad says. One can only imagine what Destro and the Baroness would do to these three guys if they couldn't keep the network up.

3 of 174 comments (clear)

  1. Microsoft Man, with . . . by Goonie · · Score: 5
    • the all-powerful incompatibility ray!
    • the fiendish DLL trap - thousands of different versions just come popping up all over the place!
    • Super-Reboot power finger (unfortunately, this goes off at the first sign of trouble)

    And his partner Microsoft woman with

    • her inescapable embrace-and-extend death grip

    Can they survive the forces of the mighty Penguin, the Daemon, and the avenging DOJ? Tune in again for the next episode of Microsoft Man - Windows 2000, the final battle . . .

    --

    Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo
    --Andy Finkel (J. Klass?)
  2. This is scary by Kaufmann · · Score: 5

    I can see it already. Our kids will grow up with MCPs as role models. That is a very scary notion.

    This situation is unacceptable. It's clear that the community must release some action figures that will spark the imagination of our own children (what, you mean you actually got laid? Way to go!). Behold...

    The NEW Ultra-Cool CmdrTaco (tm) and Hemos (tm) action figures!

    Featuring...

    * Automatic misspeller gun!
    * Rushed duplicated article submission!
    * Bad joke dispenser!
    * Nanotech-related story magnet!
    * Automated Linux kernel updater!
    * Olympic swimming pool filled with Andover IPO dollars!
    * Rumour-type-story accuracy checker! (Oh wait, never mind that.)

    Although the CmdrTaco (tm) and Hemos (tm) action figures claim to support open-doll development, only an early version of their own schemata is available. How sad is that?

    CmdrTaco and Hemos are trademarks of Andover.net. "Don't mess with us or our elephantine legal department will crush you like a bug, little man!"

    --
    To the editors: your English is as bad as your Perl. Please go back to grade school.
  3. Real Humor by jonathanclark · · Score: 5

    I have to admit, that is a pretty funny post. So many of the post moderated up as funny on /. these days look like they were written by scripts.

    1. Convert headline/story in AP wire store or press release form.

    2. Change microsoft to linux or linux to microsoft and add a few jabs at Bill Gates.

    3. Misspell microsoft 5 different ways. (How is it an insult to them because you can't spell?)

    4. If physical object, create a metaphore to windows and tell what would happen if it crashed. If metaphysical object, explain why the world would end if it was closed source.

    Personally I think it gets old real quick, but if someone wanted karma points why not make a translator script like they used to have for Jive and Valley Girl.

    anyhow, thanks for real humor.

    --
    -- Virtual Windows Project