Slashdot Mirror
Broke into the old Quickies
Lets start things off with a thing of beauty: ChazeFroy notes that Malin Space Science Systems has tons of really
excellent images from the Mars Global Surveyor.
Now something of evil: TsEA sends
us HTML magic: a true
guideline for HTML usage.
3 things that prove that The net Will destroy humanity: BlackNova sent us a Magic 8-ball powered by Lego Mindstorms,
Cuban sent us the pantscam (which is exactly what it sounds
like) and _martini_ noted an online thermostat where you
can twiddle the temperature at some guys house.
Its only a matter of time before technology fights back: NMerriam sent us the truth about what
computers think of us in this weeks Onion.
But let us not forget that science has given us many wonderful things, like for
example, lunatik17 pointed us at a bit about shooting
your lawn with lasers instead of mowing. However, science has also given
us gmr2048's story about testicular implants for animals
so I guess we're kinda even so far.
I suspect the only way to defend ourselves from technology is to understand it,
and who better to teach topics like ISDN then sent a great way to have
celebreties like Alicia
Silverstone. Or Mr.
Rogers teaching the RS232 pinout, Tonya Harding explaining a Cisco 700,
and best of all, Darva Conger on the configure register of Cisco routers (thanks Ex Machina who got it from Memepool)
Ever want to be a female olympic marathon champ?
Jaster this years winner believes
hornet stomach
juice is the secret, so get started! Of course, to much of that stuff could wind you up on
sent us the the next Darwin Awards (from
Gambit Thirty-Two)
Ant sent us a pair of stories about
poop! (what does this guy do with his time?) What happens when your
space toilet doesn't flush? All I know is I hope that I have some custom printed toilet paper to keep things
under control.
Finally, many people noted that you should call 1-800-888-3999, and select
option 7. No, really.
I saw it in last week's Sports Illustrated (which is at home, or I'd cite the page number). I don't really want to believe the story, but I'd say SI rates as a reliable media outlet.
Eric
yeah and he didn't mention a comparison between 'Snow Crash' and people turning into 'gargoyles'.
eudas
Blessed is he who expects the worst, for he shall not be disappointed.
What do you think of my mail client? Outlook not so good
Sure enough, when you press 7, you hear a recording of someone blaring on a duck call two times. Then it hangs up on you.
I can't believe they posted this to Slashdot. Companies that have 1-800 numbers get charged for each call that comes in. Those people are going to be in big trouble when management sees their 1-800 bill skyrocket due to a bunch of /.ers calling in to hear a duck quack. Ha, ha!
Free Hans!
Of course Vicky can't get her computer to work right. After all, she's using Microsloth Windblows! I urge the entire Slashdot community to email Dr Glickman and ask him to migrate the clinic's management system to a Modern Operating System (like Linux, which is based on next-generation Unix design and state-of-the-art fail-proof Open Source development). Using Linux's powerful desktop system GNOME (packaged in the user-friendly, failproof RedHat distribution), Vicky will be able to go from incompetent loser to elite hacker geekchick in no time! And using her powerful, cheap Dell computer, she can even help good Dr Glickman save the lives of patients... all thanks to Linux!
Ain't life grand without Billsux around?
To the editors: your English is as bad as your Perl. Please go back to grade school.
There are people out there for whom the feel of their pets' testicles is important.
MP3
How exactly are rubber nuts supposed to save the life of a whino?
I read the internet for the articles.
Remember when calling a Toll Free or extra Toll (900/977) number that your name and phone number are always without fail transmitted to the callee. I would absolutely not be suprised if they sell the database of people who have called them!
You have been warned!!!
~GoRK
Comment removed based on user account deletion
January 15, 1990 comes to mind.
But I believe Mothers' Day is the traditional busiest single day of telephone usage.
Any sufficiently advanced civilization is indistinguishable from Gods.
"Thank you for your interest in patented Neuticles and the revolutionary CTI testicular implant procedure for pets. "
NO SIR, THANK YOU!
*Time to break out the credit card!*
Anyone get through?
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Username taken, please choose another one.
Re the quacking duck. If someone didn't do this on purpose, they should have, it is a brilliant example of (most likely unintentional) viral marketting.
I have gotten this in about ten different emails, and myself have been responsible for infecting at least 5 others with this virulent little meme.
How long until we see some copy-cats?
Imagine the following:
(with that old fogey 'we make money the old fashioned way' voice)
'Welcome to Salomen-Smith Barney'
'Press 1 to hear your account balance'
'Press 2 to access stock quotes
'Press 3 to hear me fart the national anthem'
'Press 4 to trade stocks'
'Press 5 to hang up'
-josh
My suggestion: make it a ton colder.
(Besides, do we really know if this thing is connected to their thermostat anyway? No active pictures available).
- I don't care if they globalize against free speech. All my best free thoughts are done in my head.
Does this mean they finally found a use for all those old defective floating point Pentiums?
John
John
As it turns out, while that technology never went anywhere for home control, its noise immunity was so good that it became the standard for rail transit systems, where it's used to manage destination signs, HVAC, lighting, and related support systems.
Maybe, just MAYBE, there is more than the /. effect at play here.
----
"A fool does not delight in understanding, but only in revealing his own mind."
I can explain this. At least, as well as Jon Katz could.
The pantscam shows us the danger of American culture in conjunction with the internet. Americans have been obsessed with celebrity and exposure since the first non-silent motion pictures. Now, easy web access gives us the ability to gain as much exposure as we could possibly want.
The result? First, people start sticking web cams in front of their computers. Then, in their bedrooms, showers, refrigerators. Then, in their pants, toilets, and attached to their toothbrushes.
How can we reverse this trend? Well, we can't. Pretty soon, Americans will voluntarily be wearing these tremendous get-ups with cameras sticking every direction, which will enable them to be filmed twenty-four hours a day from fifty angles.
"Beware he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he deems himself your master."
Now I can't stop thinking about someone filing the 'extrasmall' off of them and relabelling them 'large', ala Pentium IIIs...
"don't fall into the fallacy of believing that Perl can solve social problems. Maybe Perl 6 can, but that's a ways off"
Are you kidding? It'll be even more discount, it's brilliant marketing. What's the phone call cost? Somewhere around oh say... a dime. Now let's say 0.1% of the people who call decide they want to become a customer. Now they're getting customers for $100 each, a bargain considering what the per customer profit is at a brokerage, even a discount brokerage.
--
"Don't trolls get tired?"
Outlook not so good
--weenie NT4 user: bite me!
--weenie NT4 user: bite me!
"Computers are nothing but a perfect illusion of order" -- Iggy Pop
Yeah, what is it? Some kind of pant scam?
You quitting proves that the karma kap worked. The most annoying of the whores shut up. --CmdrTaco
Too bad it wasn't a Penguin!
Now hiring experienced client- & server-side developers
-- @rjamestaylor on Ello
Since the last thrashing of the 8ball by slashdot I have added IE support. It kind of sucks, only delivers a frame or two per second vs 10/second for netscape, but at least its there.
(IE doesn't have the multipart MIME type, so I do bizarre Javascript encoding state changes in 404 status codes of images.)
Haha, during the day someone will answer the phone. I asked for Option 7, and she connects me to the listings of options, then quaky quaky.
--
Scott Miga
suprax@linux.com
Look at the change in temperature since they got /.ed. What a sadistic bunch of people...
Eh...
were from http://memepool.com/, Blue's News, CNET, Wired News, etc. I am a freak! ;)
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
With apologies to Dave Barry, I Am Not Making This Up:
On the phone with my girlfriend right now, telling her about some of the quickies. This gem just kinda rolled out of my mouth...
"[...] there's a site called the pantscam, but it's down..."
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Someday, you're going to die. Get over it.
I was wondering if anyone can verify the hornet story? Is smh.com.au a reliable paper?
It sounds really fascinating! I wonder how much hornet juice would cost if they started selling it?
-- Virtual Windows Project
Funniest thing on the site:
...replicating the animals testicle in size, shape and weight
Ok, Mr. Johnson, I've made them a bit heavier this time.
Yeah, not too bad, boy. Hang on a second...
MOOOOOOOOH!
Yeah, they're pretty similar. Maybe a bit firmer with the next batch.
---
You lose 10 points in the Dec-Katz-Alon.
:)
WWJD? JWRTFM!!!
Britney Spears' Guide to Semiconductor Physics
I watch the sea.
I saw it on TV.
No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?
Is this a Slashdot first? A site (the 8-ball site) setting itself up to be Slashdotted? Try the 8-ball and check out the image you get.
- I don't care if they globalize against free speech. All my best free thoughts are done in my head.
I should have worked that out sooner, since <blatent self promotion> I run two webcams off my PC, including a Gameboy Webcam. </blatent>
Phones aren't slashdotted, phones are busy.
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Username taken, please choose another one.
Slashdot readers are half as likely to ask the 8ball about romance and three times ask likely to ask about their job.
This is from the trained monkeys (well, regex keyword matcher) that categorize the questions for the ad server on the 8ball.
From the website,
For the record, I asked the Public 8Ball "Is this for real?" and the answer I got back was along the lines of "definitely, yes."
[
Ie gives me:
HTTP 403.9 - Access Forbidden: Too many users are connected
Internet Information Services
Never saw that one before.
"Spaceballs the toilet paper" Hell yeah. Making dreams a reality. ~K (horray for RPI)
So, of course I asked the 8-ball "Will you cease and desist?"
It promtly answered "It is likely"
All opinions are my own - until criticized
[Quickies] would not be possible on E2 because Everything 2 does not allow <a href="...">external links</a>, only [hardlink]s within the E2 system.
Will I retire or break 10K?
----
"A fool does not delight in understanding, but only in revealing his own mind."
You figure for the $5 million or so NASA probably flushed down the can for that Waste Collection Unit, it could handle whatever seven astronauts can fire at it. Or at least dump $100 to make sure shoulder-length gloves are available.
Either that, or ban freeze-dried beans and cabbage from the next flight.
Talk about pissing away your money.
But maybe this will put $400 Department of Defense-approved toilet seats in perspective.
Or maybe it's just the same old crap.
-------------
Someday, you're going to die. Get over it.
If I recall correctly from calling a week or so ago.
You receive a standard automated voice prompting you to chose one of 7 options. The comment for option 7 is:
"If you would like to hear a duck quack, chose 7."
If you chose 7 you'll hear someone play a duck call and then hang up.
What really bother me are:
- Animated GIFs
- GIFs
- 800k of graphics just for some stupid logo
- blink tags
- Hard-to-read-over backgrounds
- Extremely-lynx-unfriendly crowded navigation bars
- JavaScript
- Macromedia * (or any other plugins, for that matter)
Ah well, I like Taco Hell better.-- 2 + 2 = 5, for very large values of 2