Slashdot Mirror
Linux Industry Calls It Quits
A lot of readers have been submitting the story on SatireWire entitled "Linux Industry Calls It Quits". The title speaks for itself.
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← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)
No you didn't! So send flames to hollyl@microsoft.com.
Yeah, d00dz!
Let's be real bastards and flame this gal to death!
After all flames are a sure way to raise someone's opinion of the linux 'community'!
--K
Another similar piece can be found here, entitled "Linus: Microsoft is Going Down."
-skip
Now what the hell am I going to run??
--
Do daemons dream of electric sleep()?
Linux and corporations don't go too well together.
Actually they probably could get along fine. Just that corporations can't use the propriatary software business model. (The one a certain Mr Gates invented a while back.)
Think about it: who's to say Microsoft doesn't create their own build and release it freely, along with the source, and then write a set of free libraries that works only with their distro and wuns all of windows programs.
Because they would not have control over it. Once Microsoft released it it wouldn't belong before their extra bits would work with any distribution.
I guess it's a damn good thing someone ported the PalmOS to my 1Ghz x86 box so I'm not completely out in the cold!
--
Mind you, I support linux, etc., but this had a certain humor
It is not perfect, but it is not bad.
- - -
SLASHDOT SAYS MICROSOFT HAS NO FUTURE, SO MICROSOFT INDUSTRY WILL STOP NOW
Despite Gains in Market Share, Microsoft Firms To Call It Quits
Redmond, Wash. -- Chastened Microsoft executives pledged to stop their "crazy dreaming" and disband their efforts Wednesday after an executive from SlashDot proclaimed Windows was doomed, and openly questioned whether the operating system should exist.
The executive, Slashdot manager Commander Taco, told a reporter for Wired "Microsoft is not leading anything, it is failing to provide an operating system," adding that, ""Hype does not sustain a business," and, "the recent security problems with Microsoft ... really call into question whether Microsoft should be used at all."
The startling reprimand from SlashDot sent shockwaves throughout the Microsoft industry, which was doubly disappointed because it had been steadily gaining share on Microsoft 's operating systems.
"When I read what Cammander Taco said, it was like I'd been blindsided, like a doctor told me I had six months to live," recalled Bill Gates, CEO of Microsoft. "We recently exceeded earnings expectations, and figured to be profitable for years to come, but it looks like we were wrong."
Other Microsoft allied firms, public and private, said they would follow Bill Gate's example and liquidate. "If we don't have Slashdot 's blessing, then what's the point?" said a shaky anonymous employee
Columnists have denounced as "absurd" allegations that Linux might be utilizing its infamous FUD tactics to spread Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt about an opponent in an effort to steal market share. "That would be deceitful," he replied, "and Linux Advocates have stated repeatedly that they do not lie or cheat or mislead."
When it was pointed out that many people lie about their honesty, Commander Taco grew defensive. "Maybe some people do cheat, but then, most people tell the truth, just like Linux developers have had to do, over and over again!"
At Microsoft community site ZDNet, which will be closing despite its remarkable growth and popularity, columnists grew introspective. "Somebody said to me that Linix was guilty of hypocrisy because it gave away it's source code for free to eliminate competition from the operating system market, but this is a totally different situation," said Anchor Desk's David Coursey. "We're talking about Microsoft , for God's sake, not a bunch of utopian, open source geeks like them."
"No, we all have to take this for what it is," he added, "the cold, hard truth. Damn their probity."
Reached at his office, Microsoft 's Bill Gates said he didn't enjoy delivering the sobering news, and prayed his opponents would be able to find peace. "Revealing that Microsoft is full of errors, shouldn't be used, and has no place in the software world was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do," confessed Gates, who appeared to be holding back tears. "I can only hope that one day, they will see I was doing this to save them years of wasted effort."
"It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
I feel that The Register had a better take on the "Microsoft goes Open Source" thing. Puts it into perspective.
proof, n. A demonstration that a conclusion is implied by certain premises and axioms.
My firewall is here. And I bet it's at lease as hard to hack as yours :)
Largely because of the quantity of dickheads who'd all be competing for the "Last Post".
Boffoonery - downloadable Comedy Benefit for Bletchley Park
Instead, why not look at two of the storiesSlashdot didn't care to accept for you today.
- I don't care if they globalize against free speech. All my best free thoughts are done in my head.
I'm a true Linux user, and a follower of RMS and his insights. We don't need a Linux industry. I remember the days when this view was the mainstream, throughout the community, but ever since the 'Industry' came along, our ideals have shallowed. Look at that travesty Open Source - a retreat from our principles, not the first and not the last, caused by the 'Industry'.
I yearn for the good old days. If this article is correct, we will get them back.
You know exactly what to do-
Your kiss, your fingers on my thigh-
You know exactly what to do-
Your kiss, your fingers on my thigh-
I think of little else but you.
For a group of people who are calling it quits, we slashdotted that server really quickly.
Damn Linux zealots, taking out the messenger with their last gasp!!!
(In case you did not notice, that is a joke. Anyone have a mirror?)
Try to hack my 31337 firewall!
In other news, Bill Gates has reportedly checked himself into a psychiatric ward for treatment of severe depression. Close friends of Gates say that he recently got himself an account on the popular Slashdot website. After several weeks of reading thousands of negative comments about his pride and joy, the Windows operating system, Gates became withdrawn and despondent. He reportedly spent hours in his Seattle mansion whimpering "Why do they hate me? I just want to make people happy. Why?"
Just before checking himself into the nearby hospital, Gate instructed his Senior Vice President of Research, Rick Rashid, to look into the "Linux" operating system. He put him in contact with Slashdot operating systems expert TuXR0X who told Gates the startling news "L1nuX r0x0rS! Winbl0ws sux0rs!".
Gates is expected to be released in three weeks.
Yes, this is genuine. I'm a committe member for Linux users of Victoria This was recently sent to out committee. I've removed the email addresses to prevent harassment of the people involved.
Date: Wed, 31 Jan 2001 13:42:50 -0800
From: Holly Lindsey
To: "'XXX@luv.asn.au'"
Subject: Networking Heaven
Hello,
My name is Holly Lindsey and I am a recruiter with Microsoft in the US.
First, I want to apologize if it is inappropriate to approach your
organization. I understand lovers of Linux/Unix sometimes don't have much
love for Microsoft, but I'd like to get this information out to ALL the
serious software developers.
We will be conducting interviews in Sydney in March for the Windows Core
Networking team. I have a deep respect for users of Linux/Unix and know they
are sometimes the most hard core devoted programmers out there. We are
looking for the best and brightest to join our team to produce the next
generation of Windows. The Windows Core Networking team is responsible for
building the next generation networking for Windows workstation and server
platforms. This includes high performance network interfaces and transports,
networking services that provide security, load balancing, scalable
multicast capabilities and seamless wireless LAN experience, and
technologies to make networking self configuring, self diagnosing and self
healing. This group works with Windows Workstation (Consumer and Professional) and Server teams to ensure that these products are second to
none in networking offerings. For more information about this product see
their site at: http://microsoft.com/windows/default.asp.
If you would be interested in learning more about our opportunities in this
area, please don't hesitate to contact me directly at hollyl@microsoft.com
and check out our web site at http://www.microsoft.com/jobs/intl.
Sincerely,
Holly Lindsey
Associate Recruiter, International
Microsoft Corporation
Where AMD states that Intel rules the planet and closes shop.