Linux Industry Calls It Quits

A lot of readers have been submitting the story on SatireWire entitled "Linux Industry Calls It Quits". The title speaks for itself.

Comments

The Flip Side

[Alien54]

I decided to try this out in reverse.

Mind you, I support linux, etc., but this had a certain humor

It is not perfect, but it is not bad.

- - -

SLASHDOT SAYS MICROSOFT HAS NO FUTURE, SO MICROSOFT INDUSTRY WILL STOP NOW
Despite Gains in Market Share, Microsoft Firms To Call It Quits

Redmond, Wash. -- Chastened Microsoft executives pledged to stop their "crazy dreaming" and disband their efforts Wednesday after an executive from SlashDot proclaimed Windows was doomed, and openly questioned whether the operating system should exist.

The executive, Slashdot manager Commander Taco, told a reporter for Wired "Microsoft is not leading anything, it is failing to provide an operating system," adding that, ""Hype does not sustain a business," and, "the recent security problems with Microsoft ... really call into question whether Microsoft should be used at all."

The startling reprimand from SlashDot sent shockwaves throughout the Microsoft industry, which was doubly disappointed because it had been steadily gaining share on Microsoft 's operating systems.

"When I read what Cammander Taco said, it was like I'd been blindsided, like a doctor told me I had six months to live," recalled Bill Gates, CEO of Microsoft. "We recently exceeded earnings expectations, and figured to be profitable for years to come, but it looks like we were wrong."

Other Microsoft allied firms, public and private, said they would follow Bill Gate's example and liquidate. "If we don't have Slashdot 's blessing, then what's the point?" said a shaky anonymous employee

Columnists have denounced as "absurd" allegations that Linux might be utilizing its infamous FUD tactics to spread Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt about an opponent in an effort to steal market share. "That would be deceitful," he replied, "and Linux Advocates have stated repeatedly that they do not lie or cheat or mislead."

When it was pointed out that many people lie about their honesty, Commander Taco grew defensive. "Maybe some people do cheat, but then, most people tell the truth, just like Linux developers have had to do, over and over again!"

At Microsoft community site ZDNet, which will be closing despite its remarkable growth and popularity, columnists grew introspective. "Somebody said to me that Linix was guilty of hypocrisy because it gave away it's source code for free to eliminate competition from the operating system market, but this is a totally different situation," said Anchor Desk's David Coursey. "We're talking about Microsoft , for God's sake, not a bunch of utopian, open source geeks like them."

"No, we all have to take this for what it is," he added, "the cold, hard truth. Damn their probity."

Reached at his office, Microsoft 's Bill Gates said he didn't enjoy delivering the sobering news, and prayed his opponents would be able to find peace. "Revealing that Microsoft is full of errors, shouldn't be used, and has no place in the software world was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do," confessed Gates, who appeared to be holding back tears. "I can only hope that one day, they will see I was doing this to save them years of wasted effort."

Hmm, the Linux community has one last gasp...

[Mr. Flibble]

For a group of people who are calling it quits, we slashdotted that server really quickly.

Damn Linux zealots, taking out the messenger with their last gasp!!!

(In case you did not notice, that is a joke. Anyone have a mirror?)

Hah!

[volsung]

That's pretty funny. We all need a little perspective on the never-ending OS flamewar. Of course, this goes both ways:

In other news, Bill Gates has reportedly checked himself into a psychiatric ward for treatment of severe depression. Close friends of Gates say that he recently got himself an account on the popular Slashdot website. After several weeks of reading thousands of negative comments about his pride and joy, the Windows operating system, Gates became withdrawn and despondent. He reportedly spent hours in his Seattle mansion whimpering "Why do they hate me? I just want to make people happy. Why?"

Just before checking himself into the nearby hospital, Gate instructed his Senior Vice President of Research, Rick Rashid, to look into the "Linux" operating system. He put him in contact with Slashdot operating systems expert TuXR0X who told Gates the startling news "L1nuX r0x0rS! Winbl0ws sux0rs!".

Gates is expected to be released in three weeks.

Re:Uh

[drig]

The CNET peice about MS giving out the source to Windows is really a non-story. Just letting someone peak at your source doesn't make you open source. You have to allow criticizm, patches, branches, forks, etc. There's no benefit to just showing it around, if you don't allow people to make improvements or derivatives. Sun had this exact problem with the Java source licenses.