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Best Use of DMCA Yet: Aliens Sue USAF
A reader writes "BBspot, the most reliable source of news in the universe, is reporting that several aliens are suing the USAF over the reverse-engineering of their UFO technology."
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I think not!
I have a very serious matter with which to take up the listening audience.
The former Soviet Union collapsed in the Summer of 1991. It is well known that the Communist hard liners fled the country in search of safer soil. Many ended up in Finland, and took up residence in the universities.
Anyone who knows the history of Linux also knows the Summer of '91 was when Linux first started working on his project.
It would not have been much of a stretch for the Communist party members to start conversations with Linux. The Communists wanted to regain their control, and decided to win their war not on the streets, but through a long term disinformation campaign. They saw the forthcoming technological revolution as their wargrounds, and what better catalyst to world domination than through this medium.
Perhaps seeing the great success US software companies such as IBM were having, they decided to apply their Communist ideals to this arena. The long term plan was to destroy the American economy through any means possible. What could be more Communist than giving away something for free for everybody, and something that everybody had worked on no less! Why is this not at the heart of Communist ideals? Everybody gets an equal share and contributes to the project! Since the computing industry was about to take off, why not give away something that runs on computers?
Seeing promise in the young Linux Torvoldes, the Communist party recruited him and his software. The software was to be given away for free, and the entire "commun"ity of developers the world over (including the despised USA) would help with the project. Clearly after time, this software would rival anything put out by US corporations, and since technology was to be the leading sector of the economy, the entire US economic system would be thrown into a tailspin. In addition to this, the brainwashing of the US developers would persuade the USA's own government to take action against its great national treasures, the giant software companies (now is this sounding familiar?).
The spawn of the Communist leaders would become the so called leaders of the open source movement. They were to carry on the ideals of their forefathers and bring the US to its knees by turning its own government against its corporations and trying to provide a better product for free.
These ideas manifest themselves today in the GPL (Gorbachev's Public License), the GNU (Gorbachev's Not a Unich ) Project, amongst others.
It isn't too late. America, upon realizing this sinister plot, can stop prosecuting its pride and joy and instead rejoice that the best software companies reside here. Also, with this plot exposed, it might finally be proven:
ALL LINUX USERS ARE COMMUNISTS.
Thank you for your time.
They should have implemented a region code protection scheme, so that their technology is unuseable on earth. Tough luck.
> And where do you think he's gonna get a lawyer from?
Well, I hear the guy downstairs has a pretty good reputation.
Drinking will help us plan!
Uh... +1 funny?... about as much as a goatse.cx link. Because if you look in the back of the picture.. oh yeah.. that's about a 100x100 pixel picture of dude's butt. Gross. Do not click.
I said in a previous /. post that aliens used the DCMA to sue a government scientist for cracking their network protocols, but I was given a funny moderation. Now do you believe me?!?
-no broken link
Well, you beat me to it, but here's what I was going to write. I was writing this when you posted you comment.
Recently, God himself has begun a DMCA-based lawsuit against practicers of genetic research.
"I have been disturbed by the lack of respect for my intellectual property. I spent long hours working on an encryption scheme for my 'life' technology, and I wish that these 'hackers' would appreciate that. Instead, they have reverse-engineered my genetic source code, claiming that it was all in the name of 'science'. This is piracy, plain and simple."
God owns several patents concerning this technology, including a method for autonomous reproduction of life forms and a process for imbuing free will into creatures.
"Now, with this new 'DMCA' law, I can finally put an end to the reverse engineering that threatens to destroy my business. It's obvious that the old standby of 'sin and you go to hell' isn't as effective as it used to be. I'm hoping that this will keep people from stealing my work."
"I thought that the last representative I sent to Earth made it perfectly clear that this sort of thing would not be tolerated. My next official will be expecting full compensation for any derivative works from my technology."
So, are the USAF/CIA/NSA etc. going to sue their Chinese equivalents under the DMCA for "borrowing" technology obtained from the spy plane?
Adam was instructed not to access the secrets of the genome on the tree of life, he did and he was punished. People in Babel attempted to build a tower to break into the labratory, the tower was destroyed and the people punished.
Since it took over 5000 years to for man to access the codes in the genome, access would be deemed as sufficently controlled under the DMCA.
Since copyrights were for the life of the owner plus 50 years, the automatic protection of copyright for god would be in place. Even new version of the genome is copyrightable as a derivitive work of the earlier version.
A note for trial strategy, if the case is appealled sufficiently, it ends up being tried before God.
Fight Spammers!
God sues the U.S. Human Genome Project under the DMCA.
"The dot com Andover, owner of the website www.slashdot.org, is being sued by several entities of unkown origin. In their public announcement, which was peiced together over the SETI@home program, these entities stated the following...
"We do not appreciate being called ALIENS. The misuse of this term has become apparent as of late, especially with our lawsuit over the United States of America, Planet Earth, Air Force. We prefer to be called ENTITIES OF OTHERWORLDLY ORIGIN, with no acronym of EOOO acceptable. EOOO is the name of another such entity, wich slashdot has foolishly called ALIENS."
Also added were the following statements/threats
"This Andover entity might do well to heed our demands, and to stop stereotyping us. Else we will be forced to unleash our 31337 H4X0R $KI11$ against them. That is all... Fist Prost, and goodbye."
"Jon Katz was unavailable for comment at this time."
krystal_blade
It will be easy to motivate our fellow man; there is hardly anything people treasure more than not being annihilated.
Well, mark it in the books. This is the first time I've ever fowarded a joke to Senator Orrin Hatch. I wonder if I'll get a reply....
Viv
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Viv
Gmail invites for ip
Oh, and you know what else? Linus' father helped VP Lyndon Johnson assasinate John F Kennedy. It was an attempt to highten the Vietnam war, so that many of our men would die and allow the Soviets to conquer us that much easier.
They stuck me in an institution, said it was the only solution, to...protect me from the enemy, myself
I'm very glad that most of you humans still do not actualy belive in us aliens it is making our takeover of earth much more easy. WW1 made people fear/hate everyone who wasn't like them. and WW2 made everyone else hate them, and now soon to come WW3 where everyone who hates everyone who hates everyone will kill almost everyone. Then we will have nice planet with alot of monkeys running around to enslave or zap with our 'Omega BFG 3'
.. . . . . . . . .
Just thinking aloud....
Reverse Engineering is illegal under the DMCA.
In international law a air-plane is considered sovereign territory.
US law applies onboard the electronic warfare plane being held in China.
The Chinese military are reverse engineering the equipment.
The Chinese military are therefore breaking the DMCA.
Um, send in the Lawyers...
I am sure that all of you are well aware that the entire notion of sentient extraterrestrial life visiting earth is improbable to a very high degree.
The notion of reverse engineered alien technology is laughable, of course,
they put it under the Monty Python foot and all that.
However, do remember that many people, geeks among them, feel that alien visitation is a credible excuse for much of the malicious government activity out there.
This is misinformation, propaganda, a straw man that isn't scientifically supportable and that plays directly into the interests of the Air Force and other government agencies. These interests are the groups that divert much of the technological and scientific knowledge and energy on this earth to destructive and controlling means.
It is in our interest to ignore the "aliens" and to engage those who run around proselytizing about them in debate
.
Goat sex free since 2001
US Air Force : What you say!!
they should sue SETI@Home while they're at it for trying to break their encryption (of course i guess they would have to wait until it produced some result)
.. that 'rare funny gem' isn't a swipe at BBspot, which I personally think is one of the funnier sites in the linux/whatever corner of the net. They're quite good at the Onionesque style fake news reporting, and they seem to have a good sense of what's actually funny, unlike (IMO, no flames) sites like segfault.
___
Cogito cogito, ergo cogito sum.