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Loaded, Low Mileage, Very Clean, A/C, Sunroof
Dan Hartung writes: "The Russian aerospace firm Energia is
auctioning off a Soyuz capsule used during the Shuttle-Mir mission (it took up the experienced crew sent to save Mir after the collision and decompression). The buyer gets to tour Russian space facilities and watch a launch, plus -- and you can't beat this -- shipping and paperwork are all free! Besides, it has only flown once: that's right -- low-mileage Soyuz."
Actually, in order to consume the beer at a steady pace, one would have to re-think that schedule.
Assuming that you have to sleep for at least 6 hours (though, probably longer with the amount of alchohol consumption so high), you would have to split the waking hours in half. 9 hours for the first keg, 9 hours for the second.
Now, you take into account the act of running down to the local liquor store (One that services kegs mind you). This task would likely take up to an hour (round-trip).
So in reality, you would spend closer to 8 1/2 hours on the first keg (starting as soon as you awoke, including piss breaks), and then take an hour to run to the store and back (you should probably roll the keg to the store, since you'll likely be very intoxicated and unable to drive safely). When you return you will have the remaining 8 1/2 hours of the day to polish off the second keg.
Although, in theory, this schedule should work, please to do not hold anyone other than yourself responsible if you should fall short these goals. It's your fault, and your fault alone.
- Pack your super-hero infant into it, and launch it towards a planet where the nearby sun doesn't negate his powers.
- Use it as a handy container for rakes, shovels, and other gardening tools.
- It would make a heck of an aquarium.
- Get it signed by world-famous Russian Cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin. Resell on eBay for twice the original price. [note: I'm not sure if Yuri is still alive. If not, consult your local forger.]
- Add a nuclear payload, and threaten to launch it back at Moscow if the world community doesn't come up with "One. . . MILLion dollars!"
- If you can hack it to run Linux, you're guaranteed to get on the front page of
/. !
- Fill with hot grits, wrap a big red bow around it, and leave it on Natalie Portman's front porch. If, like many slashdotters, she has a restraining order against you, you may have to have a friend make the delivery.
- Play "Lonely Cosmonaut Who Has Been In Space For Three Months Straight" with your S.O.
Oh, and before you sign anything, make sure you hold out for air conditioning, leather interior, and a spray bottle of "New Car Smell."Oh, man!
I was totally unaware that there's an actual MIR only 100 miles from lil ol me, here in Illinois!
Laugh if you want, but MIR outlasted its' design spec by a factor of over 300%.
Russian launch vehicles are the most reliable in the world IIRC.. based on an old but elegant and by now highly refined design (thanks to one guy, profiled on Nova, whose name I cannot remember at the moment)
Sukhoi (sp?) aircraft are among the most advanced and robust around, as well.
Please note that I'm no commie-lover, but even in that oppressive society, some folks got to do cool things, and do them well. The paucity of resources forced a level of inventiveness, also, that we don't see much here.
Geeks are geeks the world over.
Just because a geek is Russian is no reason to denigrate his skills. Working with bad materials, a sucky environment, and an intractable bureacracy (sp?) Might just hone his geek skills to a higher level than yours.
A side benefit of MIR is that we now know that you can actually *break* a spacecraft in orbit, have its' occupants survive the ordeal, and fix it *in place* ala star trek.
Not too shabby, IMNSHO.
Brak: What's THAT?
Thundercleese: A light switch.. of TOTAL DEVASTATION!
Actually, we do. And not just to our "friends" either. Did you know that we supplied Iraq in the 1980s? We just offered a big arms package to Taiwan. We supply numerous third-world nations that we feel to be democratic or heading that way.
neither does china.
They gave all kinds of stuff to the North Koreans back in the 50s.
who is going to buy it?
Some nutty collector with too much cash and time on his or her hands.
Not some idiot collector.
Wait a sec...nevermind. Why not?
Probably, it shall be an intelligence agent.
No more than Chinese spies are trying to steal the secret to the Hula-Hoop(tm) or the Frisbee(tm) or Slinky(tm). The Chinese already have American space technology (Hughues and Loral, not to mention the stuff they've already stolen) what would they want with an outdated Russian design? Sentimental value for their dear departed comrades? I really think you're being a little too paranoid here. Not that there isn't some cause, but still...
First of all, as far as distributing dangerous technology goes, the Soyuz isn't exactly The Bomb. They've been used since the seventies, at least, and like most things in the Russian space program, have received upgrades over their long service life, instead of trying to come out with some next-generation superwidget that used 12 unproven technologies and consequently never gets off the ground (*cough*-X-33-*cough*). Frankly, the F-18s the Chinese are flying probably contain a lot more sensitive stuff.
Secondly, this is just a cool idea, and it's one that would have been rejected flatly by the bureaucrats at NASA. The Russian space program is actually embracing capitalism and trying to make a go of it as a moneymaking venture. Three cheers for them: at least they have the courage to try!
Jon Acheson
All opinions expressed herein are my own, and not those of my employers, who are appalled.
--
an italian racing jetpod
Are the Russians making any claims about this capsule only being used by a little old lady going to the Moon on Sundays? That might increase the appeal, if they're marketing it to the average new car purchaser.
Maybe if they offered easy financing and a low down payment...
"THEY CALL ME CRAZY BORIS - I PRICE EM SO LOW, THESE CAPSULES HAVE GOTTA GO!!"
== Paul Rickard, Editor of The Microsoft Boycott Campaign ====
Why the hell would I want a SOYUZ?! I mean, everything is in RUSSIAN, for crissakes! How am I supposed to fly it?! I can't even work my *stereo* when I mislay the english instructions.
"Tell me doctor, with all of your defenses, are there any provisions for an attack by killer bees?"
At the vehicle's normal orbit speed (25,000 Mph), you rather quickly blow the extra grand ($1,000 U.S.) you paid for the 100,000 mile extended warranty. This is obviously a rip-off.
:)
Send this to all your friends and you'll be shot in the back by a psycotic African wood-weevil.
Locked, cocked, and off my medication!
LOAD "SIG",8,1
LOADING...
READY.
RUN
Riiiiight... and you took the time to point that out, which makes you the expert on gay.
Throw in a bottle of Stoli, a mail-order bride, and a MiG fighter jet... and I'll take it for 90% of the original MSRP.
Oh yea... and LCD screens in the headrests, and a Playstation hooked up... and make sure the games include "Space Invaders". Heh heh.
Mind if I ask if the sig tranaslates into something?
I have a hard enough time when the US auctions off used, 15 - year old aircraft carriers to developing nations, although there's little I can do to stop it.
This thing flew less than 5 years ago, and China has already been known to buy Russian space technology for its own use. This capsule is said to be fully loaded. Can we trust Russia to strip American proprietary secrets out of the capsule before this blue - light special? Can we be guaranteed that it won't end up in the hands of some terrorist?
OK, this isn't designed to be a weapons grade device, but are we certain that there is NO enabling technology that, say, Iran or Iraq can use for their purposes?
THis isn't to say that forign nationals are bad, but we'd do well to acknowledge at least these two things:
Russia is still arguably an unwise place to do business
There are more than a few places where they don't tale a lot of pride in the the American flag
I wonder if Max Ary reads Slashdot....
For those of you who don't know who www.comso.org is (the URL of the link above), the Kansas Cosmosphere and Space center is a space museum here in Kansas (Hutchinson, to be exact) that has the largest collection of Russian space hardware outside Russia itself. It's where NASA sends its astronauts to train on Russian space hardware, where Ron Howard and Tom Hanks went to get the space hardware for their movies, where just about every museum in the world sends their space hardware for preservation work.
I'd always said that I expected Max to be out in the Pacific with a big catcher's mitt when MIR came down. I wouldn't be too surprised if Max got in on this bid.
Assuming, of course, that it is real, and not a hoax...
www.eFax.com are spammers
The Soyuz capsule is old news. But does anyone know WTF is happenning to the International Space Station right now? Whose module is at fault -- Russian or American?
"Mostly highway miles"
hehe
-Chris
> always behind schedual!
The Russians (the Soviets, actually) were the first to put a man in space.
Mmmm.. Donuts
Does it worry anyone that the Russian government seems to have so little money that they have to sell joy rides into space and acution off their space capsules to the highest bidder? If they're making these kinds of sales public, what kind of deals are going on behind closed doors? Nuclear warheads for $10 a pop? This is kind of scary. It's incredible to see how quickly a nation can go from being a world power to be humbled this low.
Nate
THIS SPACE FOR RENT
QUIZ:
Which part of the ISS suffered a huge computer failure and which part is still operational?
Russian technology may not be fancy and sophisticated, but it is solid as a rock and can be repaired with duct tape if needed. Just think about the AK-47 that is used by terrorists worldwide...
________________________________
If encryption is outlawed, only
________________________________
If encryption is outlawed, only
YIE565$FF DSDNE4!MJK XMY7*fRBVM.
I mean, what proto-geek kid wouldn't get a kick out of that? Hell, I'd get a kick out of it and I'm 23. :-) Run some power back there, put in some grain alcohol dispensers, you'd be the pimpin' cosmonaught on the block, that's for sure... :-)
--
News for geeks in Austin: www.geekaustin.org
News for Geeks in Austin, TX
Along the way, he compared American & Russian technologies...
From what he told us (as well as others' comments - above & elsewhere), I'd say that:
Russian technologies are to their American counterparts as Linux is to Windows...
the former is cheaper & more reliable, if not necessarily State of the Art.
Tell me - which would you want your Life to depend on? ;-)
Probably not a problem: it's not a rocket, just a capsule. Even if it was a rocket, I doubt the "spooks" would care....
When I was being interviewed by the ATF for my explosives permit (needed for little rockets,) the agent ran over the import rules (nice, smart guy, he knew Russian rockets were selling cheap). Basically, he said: as long as the rocket has less than 25 tons of fuel in it, and you have a place to store it, wave this permit and it's yours!
Aside from that where the hell would you keep it? I can see a company purchasing it to throw in their building's lobby, I can even see NASA buying the rocket to get an insight into Russian based tech in some fashion, but the typical art collector?
It's only 10 feet or so wide. Would easily fit into a Manhattan loft. "Have you every made love in a space capsule" probably won't get you laid... but 40 years later there will be 50 grandmothers in New Jersey telling their grandkids "I once had the chance to have sex in a Soyez capsule. I can't believe I turned it down!"
Or maybe not.
Museums. Did you read the article? I wonder how many museums can afford the estimated $2 million + price though. Maybe Bill Gates will buy it and put it in Microsoft's lobby.
Need XML expertise? crism consulting
For all intensive purposes, "whom" is no longer a word. That begs the question, "who cares"?
Have a look at this picture from the web site.
It clearly says "USSR". This flew in 1997?"I thought you guys broke up?
(strong russian accent)"Yes, that is what we wanted you to think!"________
You know, if everyone on /. chips in, we could time-share this thing.
I'm just disappointed that it isn't being auctioned off on Ebay ... Wouldn't that be the ultimate embrace of capitalism by the Russian Space Program?
Then again, maybe not *grin*
Think maybe they can crank the odometer back a few orders of magnitude?
--
Dyolf Knip
"My Uncle went on the ISS and all I got was a lousy Soyuz capsule."
Curious__George
***General Consultant to the Human Race*** My opinions are free. You get what you pay for.
Its rather ironically sad it has to be sold, and you have to wonder if Russia is that desperate for money.
The capsule is being sold by an American and Russian company, not the Russain Space program.
From the article:
"This sale is part of an agreement between Space Media Inc. and the S. P. Korolev Rocket and Space Corporation Energia (RSCE). Space Media and RSCE are promoting both American and Russian achievements in and contribution to peaceful space exploration."
And as for the customs issue (again from the article):
"The successful buyer should allow up to 24 weeks for delivery to allow for the necessary packing, shipping and customs paperwork requirements to go through official channels. "
Wow, it really is shocking, reminds me of the amphibious landing craft from Saving Private Ryan, circa 1940's but not as advanced.
Talk about old school.
So it doen't surprise me that someone might want a Soyuz
Check out the Vinny the Vampire comic strip
"It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
I may have been trolled, but the Russian space program was well ahead of the Americans for a long time. First satellite launch (Sputnik), first living creature in space (can't remember the name of the spacecraft, but the dog was called "Laika"). First man in space, first man in HEO, etc...
Bloated and inefficient? The Americans were the ones who spent millions developing a ball-point pen that wrote in zero gravity (no gravity, no capillary action). The cosmonauts wrote in pencil... Let's face it, are you going to be signing cheques in space? The Russian space program always used much simpler (and consequently more reliable) equipment, something which holds true for almost everything they did.
Right up to the fall of the Iron Curtain. Then they were fsck'd.
Link
I'm not sure if Yuri is still alive. ;-)
Yuri died in a test-plane crash some years later, so if you could get his signature on that capsule you'd have really worth something.
Besides Google is your friend on this one: I found a short biography in less than two minutes
Ahhh...the great dumpster continuum. Many a free computer will be found there. -- sowth (748135)
can it get me into space? if not, id rather spend my money on hookers and beer.
NEWS: cloning, genome, privacy, surveillance, and more!
NEWS: cloning, genome, privacy, surveillance, and more!
Also someone has removed all of the paint - you're gonna need a complete respray and it will probably cost around 500 bucks.
I'm also not convinced by the amount of mileage it's done. They try to disguise it by the fact that its had one careful owner, but I think its warranty has probably run out and they avoided saying 'one careful female owner'. If it does have a warranty, ensure that it is transferable.
Above all, if they refuse to give you a test drive before you part with the cash, DON'T BUY IT.
They want 2,000,000 - 2,500,000. Taking into account the cost of sorting out whats wrong, and the likely lack of a warranty, I'd offer them between 1,998,500 - 2,498,500.
Steve.
There are two sides to the issue that people have made about this sale, although so far they've only covered the following:
How hard up for cash is Russia's space program?
The other side that very few have covered is simply this: Russia's space program (who really have nothing to lose) is branching out into the commercial field that allows the general public to actually have a part in space flight... They have either very much to lose or everything to gain as the first nation to *not* treat space as a domain only for the elitest of elites (yah, you still have to pay millions of dollars to launch, but that's the cost of EVERY space flight, this ain't a Pinto and grain alcohol deal)...
NASA won't do it, remember their last attempt at civilians in space (the Challenger disaster for you younguns)? The ESA won't do it, they lack the infrastructure to build anything more than satellite launch mechanisms... The Chinese won't do it, they lack the infrastructure to do much, and are behind the US/Russia by as much as 30 years (yeah, they swiped out launch technology, but still will take years to RE and blueprint so they can successfully build their own boosters)... Australia, India, and others are just entering the field, and right now the fact that Russia is opening up the market, it gives them another business model to consider...
We've spent the first 25 years of space flight with little more than a focus on it's military application... That's why since the time it began, space flight has been under military jurisdiction... Military men in military funded operations claiming military territory in a military race... Remember why we went into the space program in the first place? The US space program is showing cracks around the facade, but it still is largely a military business model...
While the Russians still know to maintain a military level of professionalism, they aren't afraid nowadays to let a little humanity impose on outer space... As a result, they might wind up being the Princess Cruiselines of space flight... Oh god... With that thought...
Spaaaaace, exciting and new, come aboard, we're expecting you, the Looooove Mirrrr, sorry the toilet is on the blink, the Loooove Mirrrr, please don't try to use the sinnnnk!
Sorry about that...
Just because you can mod me down, doesn't mean you're right. Shoes for industry!
Do.....you talk......like Captain Kirk in.....real life...or do you.......just type that........way?
2 million or more dollars for a defective part of a space station?
... to see Russia selling their national heritages piece by piece. And too bad they have to destory Mir, it represents so much history, both Russia and humanity as a whole.
How many people remember Youri Gagarin (first man in space) and Valentina Teresjkova (first woman in space)? And what ever happened to Sputnik, the first man made object in space?
Well I hope their space tourism thing take off, then maybe they can finally make some money to keep their space program going.
====
Codeala - Just another mindless drone
Now how the hell can this be considered off topic? Maybe not funny, but certainly on-topic.
Gee, that would fit great. The Russian Space Program was just like Microsoft. Bloted, inefficient, and always behind schedual! :-)
Disclaimer: I can't spell worth a shirt.
This has been another useless post from....
Killfile(TGK)
No trees were killed in the creation of this post. However, many electrons were inconvenienced.
"Moon roof all leather interior. I got it at a very good price, I paid cash. My cousin, Prince Murray, has a dealership in the valley. He was very nice to me." -King Vespa
Its rather ironically sad it has to be sold, and you have to wonder if Russia is that desperate for money.
Sounds all nice and dandy for now, but I can see the legalities coming into play should someone in the United States purchase it. All those Custom's forms, paranoid spooks wondering why your buying a rocket, etc.
Aside from that where the hell would you keep it? I can see a company purchasing it to throw in their building's lobby, I can even see NASA buying the rocket to get an insight into Russian based tech in some fashion, but the typical art collector?
Either way though I wonder if the sale is to raise money for their already poor economy, which makes me wonder, who will be the first to raise that sub that recently sunk.
Antioffline introduces pimped X Themes
360 degrees of Karma
But that thing looks like its been to the moon and back... (which is a comment someone made about my car)
I actually believe that a soyuz capsule that docked at a space station would be pretty high mileage.. in the millions..
That said, I'm going to make a bid on it and start buying bottle rockets.
Brant
Brant
Argle. Bargle.
When I was a kid I had hours of fun with a toy space capsule for my GI Joe. Boy, would I like to give this to my son. I't's worth as much as $200 to me.
The difference between truth and fiction is that fiction has to be plausible.
First off Russian built stuff isn't that bad, their rocket technology rocks (yea I know its a capsule not a rocket). Second it's a *space capsule*, looks alot like the ones John Glenn and all the American astronaughts flew in, yes its useless but didn't you ever want to have a space capsule as a kid? If I had that kind of money it would be on my top 10 list of things to get (after all the computer equipment.
I am scared that in a few years we will see neuclear bombs being auctioned on the web. Well i guess they are doing it allready in black market. How do you think india and pakistan got their hands on these "toys".
It's tempting to buy a piece of history (these things have been flying since the 60's), I'd be even more tempted if they included a Proton rocket to put it on top of.
While there are a lot of things that are terrific about Russian space technology, this is something of an urban legend. The American active-pressure pen didn't cost 'millions', and the Russians had to invent the wax pencil to use in space- graphite dust being problematic. Wax pencils, though, leave shavings, which turned out to be a major pain in the ass, so now the Russians use our pens...
The insulation used to prevent the inhabitants from freezing in space and from burning up during reentry would be perfect to keep kegs cool...just throw 20 or so of them in there with a few bags dozen bags of ice, and that temp will stay constant for a long time. just take out a frosty keg, throw another in there, drink the one taken out, run to liquor store, refill, and repeat every 12 hours
Why would you spend yer cash on this, plus the provisions to get it to space, when you can pay the Russians to actually take you up their themselves to play with the new canadian arm for just a little more cash. You need to spend yer allowance money wisely if you would like it to be well spent.
Are you sure that several million miles on the clock counts as low milage? Or have the Russians been 'clocking' in an attempt to rase the price :-)
Proof that I can not spell - just look at my handle
The topic shouldn't so much be this cool hardware for sale, but rather the desperate things that Russia is doing for quick cash... like sending up this tourist guy (who does have some good experience with the space program it turns out). Still, I wouldn't trust any non-essential people with a national space mission. Poor Russia, they should just go back to Communism!
Then they can have an episode where the teams must launch themselves into orbit!
- Pharao
Since the gov't has talked about subsidizing storm shelters, you could always bury it in the back yard and head for it when that big F5 comes swirling through. (Either that or tell them you'll only buy it if they throw in a truckload of those wire closet organizers. That way, you can turn it into the world's largest CD rack)
da Bear!