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Iceman Murdered by Arrow in the Back

Posted by michael on from the shot-through-the-heart,-and-you're-to-blame dept.

PenguinRadio writes: "The Washington Post has taken a break from the Chandra Levy case to report on a recently discovered murder of a 5,300 year old iceman. The iceman was discovered about ten years ago in the snow covered Alps near Italy, but it was unknown until today how he died. Scientists used a CT scan to discover an arrowhead embedded in his back. Being stabbed in the back is not a recent dot.com kind of thing." Somehow it's inspiring to see just how long we've been killing each other. This story is great in so many ways.

9 of 232 comments (clear)

  1. Iceman's conversation by abischof · · Score: 5

    Iceman's conversation with his hunting buddies:

    Iceman: You two really are cowboys.

    Hunting buddy: What's your problem, Kazanski?

    Iceman: You're everyone's problem. That's because everytime you go up in the air, you're unsafe. I don't like you because you're dangerous.

    Hunting buddy: That's right! Ice... man. I am dangerous.

    [Thunk! Arrow in the back.]

    Alex Bischoff

    --

    Alex Bischoff
    HTML/CSS coder for hire

  2. We need Perry Mason! by devphil · · Score: 5
    The angle of the wound suggests Otzi's assailant fired from below. The arrowhead, less than an inch long, ripped through his back, tore through the nerves of his left arm and sliced the veins, lodging itself between the shoulder blade and rib cage. He likely survived the initial assault, because the arrow did not strike any vital organs. But he probably lost feeling in his left arm from nerve damage, and he would have suffered massive hemorrhaging. The arrowhead stopped just short of his lungs.

    Wow. They couldn't get anywhere near that detailed in the OJ Simpson case, but they can list point-for-point the assault on a dude frozen for 53 centuries. :-)

    And ten years from now, new evidence will come to light. And some Italian-Austrian-Alps-area con man will claim to be Otzi's descendant, and sue for mistrial.

    --
    You cannot apply a technological solution to a sociological problem. (Edwards' Law)
    1. Re:We need Perry Mason! by Waffle+Iron · · Score: 5
      they can list point-for-point the assault on a dude frozen for 53 centuries.

      The investigation was a total BS whitewash job. They covered up all of the evidence relating to the second archer behind the grassy knoll.

  3. Suicide? by MissNachos · · Score: 5

    I say he fell on it and killed himself, since in those days no one played FPS video games.

    --
    if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans
  4. It Just Went Off by cybermage · · Score: 5

    Nothing like a pre-historic hunting accident:

    Officer: Why did you shoot your friend in the back with that arrow?

    Og: He was wearing his deer skin. Before I realized it was him, the bow just went off.

    Officer: Well, we could haul him down the mountain, but let's just leave him there. That way when he's found people can speculate wildly about what happened.

    --
    Some people have a way with words, and some people, um, thingy.
  5. OOG SPEECHLESS!!! by OOG_THE_CAVEMAN · · Score: 5

    OOG ALWAYS WONDER WHAT HAPPEN TO COUSIN THARG SINCE HE DISAPPEAR IN MOUNTAIN!!! OOG THINK THARG FREEZE TO DEATH OR EATEN BY MAMOUTH BUT NOW ANGRY TO LEARN THARG MURDERED!!!

    OOG THINK CAVEMAN GROK BEHIND MURDER (SINCE OJ SIMPSON NOT ALIVE AT THAT TIME AND USE KNIFE INSTEAD OF ARROW), BUT OOG PROBABLY HAVE TO HIRE UNFROZEN CAVEMAN LAWYER CIRROC TO BE ABLE TO BRING REAL KILLER TO JUSTICE!!! OOG AVENGE DEAD COUSIN THARG!!!

    --
    OOG THE OPEN SOURCE CAVEMAN!!! OOG BREAK HEAD WITH OPEN SOURCE CD!!!
  6. Re:murder or accident? by The_Steel_General · · Score: 5
    From an article concerning the Iceman's last meal on the Nova site (sorry, lost the URL):

    "Oeggl [the guy who analyzed the last meal based on a tiny scrap of food from the Iceman's colon] readily acknowledges that scientists may never know what prompted the Iceman to leave the relatively hospitable valley with no water or food to speak of (a single sloe berry was found with his remains) and try to cross the mountain at a time of year when several feet of snow easily could have obscured the topography of the steep and rocky Alpine ridge."

    So we've got a guy leaving a fairly warm valley in some haste but well prepared (had eaten, brought no food, but had an ax, a bow, and 14 arrows), getting assaulted about 8 hours later, shot from behind and below (someone chasing him?), and left there with all his stuff.

    My vote is for jealous husband, frankly -- a battle would have left more corpses behind, a robber would have taken his stuff, and the Iceman was leaving someplace safe and warm very quickly -- and very well-armed.

    TSG

  7. Re:Who Done It? by Paintthemoon · · Score: 5

    And the Justice Dept. denied that any of the missing FBI bows & arrows had anything to do with the death.

    --
    Be part of the world's largest collaborative work of art: http://www.paintthemoon.org
  8. actual cause of death? by estes_grover · · Score: 5

    I thought a glacier snuck up on the iceman while he was sleeping.