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Star Wars II: Return of the Name
Mutant was among the onslaught of readers who submitted that the final name has been chosen for Star Wars Episode II. It is... Attack of the Clones. Let the sarcasm commence. I'll pass judgement after I see it.
Star Wars Two: STAR HARDER
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"The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad." - Salvador Dali (1904-1989)
Well, It was probably something like this.
Microsoft Balmer dis'es linux! cool!, accept, next, "attack of the clones", wtf? reject, next...
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Star Wars: Episode 3: Your Childhood Memories are Raped For Two Solid Hours, then the Orchestral Score and Mood Lighting in the Last Thirty Seconds Tricks You into Thinking that this is a Worthy Prequel to Episode 4.
A little unwieldy, I grant you, but it's only a working title.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
Peter Jackson! Ian McKellen! Christopher Lee! Hugo Weaving! Cate Blanchett! John Rhys-Davies! How could anyone not be waiting for this?
Assuming that Natalie Portman will be neither naked nor petrified, the only trump card that When Clones Attack has is Samuel L. Damn, they should have cast him in LotR, maybe as a badass orc or something. "Does Sauron look like a bitch?"
Episode II: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Force
(To the tune of "Send In The Clowns")
I'll pass judgement after I see it.
This will be a first.
And now, a moment for America to shake its head and sob softly to itself... What the hell is wrong with the "clone wars"? Are the traditional starships we have grown accustomed to now to be replaced with flying saucers? When will George Lucas learn not to make important decisions when drunk?
-Ignatius Gunnarsson
...Millions of sheep named dolly attack tatooine. All is feared lost, until annakin decides to release his keeler blue heeler to save the day.
Send lawyers, guns, and money!
I was hoping for "Jar Jar's fiery death" or something similar. "Attack of the Clones" only makes me fear the creation of an entire army of Jar Jars.
Dancin Santa
(ducking)
150 Opening BINARY mode data connection for slashdot.sig (129323052 bytes).
And in further news, Episode III will be named, "I Wipe my Ass With Your Money", and will consist entirely of 15 minutes of Hayden Christensen putting on the Darth Vader outfit, saying "This is heavy," and "Okay, I'm ready to be Evil now."
"Star Wars" was MY childhood. My middle-school friends and I argued endlessly about "Empire." Vader, Luke's father? No way. Who was this Boba Fett anyway? Why was he masked the entire film. Somethin's gotta be goin' on there.
WE WAITED MORE THAN A DECADE FOR EPISODE 1! I grew up, I became an OLD MAN waiting for that bloody movie. When I heard it was coming, it was like the Return of Gandalf. The World would be OK. I dragged my wife to the theater, promising her it would be great, this would be epic, Strap In and Enjoy the Ride.
Ten minutes in, I wanted to shoot myself. Twenty minutes in, and my wife was openly wondering if this constituted the sort of spousal abuse that would get her more than 50% in the divorce.
To give you a contemporary example, I want you to go to your child and explain that in the next book, which we're all waiting for like it was Christmas, in the next book, Dumbledore turns out to be a child molester.
Watch the look on the face of your little Harry-or-Hermione-wannabe.
THAT's exactly how episode one made me feel.
He put his boots up on the table and made a face. "The sig," he smirked. "You can waste your life in search of the sig."
Anakin: Quick, send in the clones
Obi-Wan: Don't bother, they're here
Lucas: Isn't it rich, isn't it queer, Losing my timing so late in my career
SW Fans: There ought to be clones
Lucas and Fox Studios:: Well maybe next year
----- One piece short of Legoland
Here's some of Fark.com's user suggestions:
Attack of the Killer Human Stem Cells.
Killer Klones from Outer Space
Episode II: Hype
Episode II: Luke's Dad Was a Whiner, Too
Episode II: Reporting is Pravda the Clone Attacking
Episode II: Bloodsucking Clones from Pittsburgh
Episode II: Plan Clone From Outer Space
Episode II: Clones Are EEEEEEVIL
Episode II: Lucas Must Die
Star Wars Episode 2: All your clone are belong to..
Send in the Clones!
Tears of a Clone
Jar-Jar's Big Adventure
Star Wars Episode II: The Second Episode
Star Wars II - Just like 83/84, only more missle based...
Star Wars II 1/2 - The smell of Lucas
Episode II, JarJar Binks, Return of The Kingfish
-= rei =-
*Kid Rock runs for Senate* Democrats: We must run Kid Scissors.
Anakin looks up to see Queen Amidala and Obi-Wan dressed like clones, holding miniature billboards advertising the clone college and dancing to clone music. "Amidala...?" asks Anakin slowly. "Yes, Anakin?" answers the clone Amidala, starting to hum clone music.
Anakin: That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clone college! [leaves]
Obi-Wan: I don't think any of us expected him to say that.
"The Phantom Menace" "The Attack of the Clones" "My Wookie and Me" "A New Hope" "The Empire Strikes Back" "Return of the Jedi"
Dolly the Jedi Slayer
what do you think IS under those stormtrooper helmets?
Collect them all!
The next Slashdot story will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush and slashdot the links early!
Hey man, watch it. Clones are people, two!
Star Wars: Dude, Where's My Clone?
It had to be done by someone...
Natalie Portman stars in "Attack of the Hot Grits"
(Rated R for nudity)
Nope, sorry but Snap Action Tongue and Mini Rocketlauncher are patented and used exclusively on Monika and Bill action figures.
"Star Wars: Episode II: Worst Episode Ever"
You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!
10. Plan 9 From a Galaxy Far, Far Away
9. I Married a Dark Jedi
8. It Came from Tatooine
7. Die, Jedi, Die!
6. Will Success Spoil George Lucas?
5. Evil Sith 2: Army of Clones
4. Urotsukijedi
3. Pod Racer Summer
2. Midichlorians: the Awakening
And the number one rejected title for Star Wars Episode 2...
1. Surf Gungans Must Die