Slashdot Mirror
Windows in 2020
sasha328 writes: "I came across this article on LA Times while I was reading the LinuxToday news site. It is very funny, and points out the in layman's language, the problem with homogeneity in computer OSes. Well worth reading."
Um, but don't anyone else do it, OK?
I doubt things will move along from "windows" to "rooms" by 2020, although MSFT might be as far as "walls," or perhaps even "doorframes."
Napster-to-go says "Fill and refill your compatible MP3 player", which is a lie. It's not MP3. It's WMA with DRM.
-Better USB support
-P2P2P2P support for faster MP3 downloads
-Greatly improved SMP
-FreeCiv final + Minesweeper deluxe
-BIND security flaw patched
Case
Sounds like someone forgot to download and patch their cornfields. Silly ecological administrators. On a similar note, another buffer overrun was found in tomatoes that permit another a plant to take root.
The problem is, because everything runs the same operating system--even my electric shaver--once somebody discovers a security flaw...
wonder how his face looks like when Win goes blue...
20 years of development, and the Linux kernel 2.4.x is not yet considered "stable" by Debian.
...for apple to become an official religon? heh. They need to talk to some more apple fans. You could probly get more people to claim their religon was Apple, than said their religon was jedi
On that note, who wants to start the chain letter?
The opinions in this post are ficticious. Any similarity to actual opinions, real or imagined, is purely coincidental.
SlashDot/XP? Didn't pay your software rent?
Got time? Spend some of it coding or testing
I wonder if Steve Ballmer will still be doing this in 2020?
Windows DNI
You open the box labeled "Windows DNI: Direct Neural Interface", carefully extracting the pouch labeled "License Agreement". You examine the contents of the pouch, finding an inflatable cap bearing the Windows logo rather than the familiar 3.5" diskette package. You inflate the cap, insert two "C"-size batteries (not included), and carefully place it on your head. You press the Start button.
Immediately, the image of an hourglass comes to your mind. You find yourself trapped; unable to move anything in your body save your eyes. After an indeterminable delay, you regain control of your senses. You are suddenly compelled to speak your name and business affiliation. You then retrieve your Windows DNI package and chant the Product-ID number.
Suddenly you see the words "Windows is detecting new hardware" flash before your eyes. You crash to the floor, writhing in agony. You feel every muscle in your body contract and retract in turn. Your mind is filled with the image of a blue inchworm, creeping slowly across a grey field. The creature finally reaches the edge of its domain, and your seizure ceases. You take a moment to regain your composure, and you are reminded of your high school anatomy course as a complete listing of every organ in your body appears before your eyes. You browse the list for a moment, and utter the phrase "OK". After a short delay, you hear the sound of a trumpet echo through the recesses of your mind.
You find yourself in a large, barren space. You look around, and discover images labeled "My Brain", "Recycle Bin, and "Set up the Microsoft Network". You feel compelled to utter the word "Start", after which a list of options floods your mind. Weary from the detection phase, you utter the word "Shut down". You close your eyes, and blackness surrounds you. You feel yourself start to drift into sleep. Your peace is interrupted, however, as a bright orange light invades your nothingness. "It's now safe to shut down your mind".
You drift into unconsciousness, and sleep for several hours. When you awaken, you are frozen in place as you see clouds and blue cycling colors. After a short eternity, the familiar "My Brain" icon reappears in your mind. But something is terribly wrong; you can feel it in your gut. Just outside the range of primary vision, you can sense something lurking about you on all four sides.
You slowly look up, and see the word "Safe Mode" glaring back at you. You back away slowly, swivel your head, and there it is, behind you as well. Your heartbeat quickened and you are terrified as you turn to your left and your right and it meets you there as well, its cold, heartless glare filling your soul with despair.
Quickly, you summon Control Panel, System, Device Manager. You feel yourself frantically gasping for air as you run through the list of installed devices. You come upon "Respiratory System" and are horrified to see a black exclamation point on a yellow field next to the entry "Lungs". You close your eyes and utter the word "Properties". On the closed curtains of your eyelids, you see your life flashing before your eyes.
You force yourself to concentrate on your situation, attempting to discover which system devices are in conflict, when suddenly your entire body seizes up in pain. You lose all sense of reality. You are floating through the clouds as you hear a voice echo through your mind: "This program has performed an illegal operation and will be terminated." You start to black out and suddenly you remember your situation. You stare in horror at your blue extremities, knowing that, without oxygen, you will not last much longer. With all the consciousness you can muster, you force yourself... To reboot.
You awaken in a place that is dark, but familiar. A solitary white prompt on a black field greets you. You look behind you and see the wreckage of the operating system that nearly spelled your demise. "Cannot find a file that may be needed to run Windows". You turn around to face the prompt, and a wide grin comes across your face. You take a deep breath and revel in the life-giving atmosphere. You laugh as you utter the words, "DELTREE WINDOWS".
Suddenly you find yourself on the floor of your home. You find the charred remains of the Windows DNI beanie littering the floor. You carefully gather them up, stack them neatly on an altar, and burn them, promising yourself never to risk your life with Microsoft again. You bury the ashes, knowing that your life is again in order.
I have no idea who originally wrote this, it was emailed to me a few years ago...
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the pen is mightier than the sword, the sword is mightier than the court, the court is mightier than the pen.
Gates and his minions literally went underground in 2019 after the Supreme Court ruled against the company for the 1,249th time in the antitrust case that began in 1997.
:)
I see that the justice system in the States works just fine
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"I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to people and assume they deserve it" - Dogbert
"640GB ought to be enough for anybody." --Bill Gates, 2020
:-/
Hopefully ram prices will be decent then
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Check out my blackbox styles
that all available bandwidth will be used up by CodeRed 1007, a sentient replicating virus. Furthermore, since A***e has patented everything, the virus will be put in jail for copying itself.
Windows, Windows Everywhere huh? Nice title for a page with a pop-up AND a pop-under.
"If he thinks he can hide and run from the United States and our allies, he's sorely mistaken." Bush on bin Laden
In other news, Mozilla has achieved the much-vaunted "five-nines" status. Mozilla 0.99999 was released earlier this February, and most coders on the project still claim that 1.0 will be finished "soon."
you know the future truly sucks when you get up one morning and try to make a pot of coffee only to find the coffee pot display says "Hacked by Chinese".
Or, rather, I'm going to sell them to someone else (Kelloggs, whoever makes cornflour, Green Giant etc.) for a vast profit and let them bother with the cloning. I'll just pop in occasionally to make unhelpful comments - "Maybe you should try repairing the freezer damage to the chromosones with frog DNA..."
Ooooh, or now I think about it, I could just buy tinned corn and then I wouldn't have to worry about keeping the freezer running.
Awwww, damnit, I really need to stop telling everyone my ideas...
In 2005, Microsoft filed a complaint under the DMCA which accused all Linux users of circumvention for writing anything compatible with Windows XS on the grounds that the source code was seekrit and only illegal disassembly could have given them the ability to write a program that could function on it. Microsoft then managed to successfully prosecute RMS for contributory negligence after he continued screaming that it's not Linux but GNU/Linux and it was his idea to begin with. Stallman received a Gnine-year sentence, with time served if he'd promise no more recursive acronyms.
In 2007, The Supreme Court handed down the "Typesetters' Union v. LameWebDesign IPO" decision (commonly known as the "FontSanity" case) which upheld a lower court's ruling making the use of multiple mixed font sizes, colours and cases on one page illegal (based on community standards, just like the obscenity laws). Steve Gibson got a five-year stint at Leavenworth, where he spent his time pointing out that the bars on the windows were not really secure and that ALL THAT SPACE between them could be USED by ANYONE TO get OUT of JAIL!!!
And while the letter mentioned the Apple religion, it left out the Slackware fundamentalists' revolt of 2011, which targeted all distros containing installers and GUIs. Hundreds wree left helpless at the CLI and millions of files were lost as people helplessly typed in two-letter combinations in the hopes that something would happen.
The future ain't pretty, people.
woof.