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How Can I Make More Of My Cubicle?
hv writes "I reside in a 10' x 10' space better than 12 hours a day... as do a lot of you. How do you make the most of the space? I'm looking for creative ways to add storage and unclutter the stacks of lab notebooks, USB peripherals and the O'Reilly Zoo that also inhabits my space."
Thats Nothing!
Where I was working, they told me to move back, 'cause they had to put more boxes in my cubicle. ...somebody stole my stapler.
Then they made me move into the basement and told me to get some spray for the roach problem.
Then. Then, somebody stole my stapler. We had been using the Swingline stapler, and they wanted to switch, but I didn't want to switch. And they, they...
I'll burn down the building...
think Office Space
I shedule frequent "meetings" with the cute intern down the hall.
This notice is being sent to inform you that your "geek" status has been revoked.
You have been found in violation of article 12, paragraph 7 of the Geek Code by noticing a member of the opposite sex. Furthermore, this offence has been aggravated by noting that member of the opposite sex as "cute", violating paragraphs 9 and 12 of article 17.
Please remove all O'Reily books from your shelf, disassemble two of your computers and return the parts to the original manufacturers, and disconnect all active internet connections at your home.
Failure to comply with the above request will result in severe penalties up to and including the installation of Windows 3.11 for Workgroups on all active computers in your home and Rosie O'Donnel pouring cold grits down your socks!
I could see a 'Hang in there' poster with a noose. It might cause problems with the management, but everything interesting does that.
Reboot macht Frei.
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Free P2P Backup, Windows & Linux
Stop bathing. Learn a new love for limburger cheese, raw garlic and onions. Keep a bowl of durians nearby as a snack.
When everyone moves out, take over their cubicles.
For more information on building a cubicle roof, see also this Ask Slashdot thread on building cubicle roofs.
Alex Bischoff
HTML/CSS coder for hire
Fridge.
Of course! That's a given. But with a twist.
Okay. Here's a list.
Every now and then, dumping a little bit of compost heap activator (available at any gardening store) will help the disposal process.
Fire and Meat. Yummy.
1. Make sure your ventilation ducts are too small to crawl through.
/do/ have an energy weapon, right?) useless -- you will not be overrun by a handful of savages^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hmarketing consultants armed with spears and rocks.
2. Don't interrogate your co-workers in your cube. Use a small conference room outside your department.
3. Keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train yourself in their use. That way -- even if management manags to neutralize your power generator and/or render your energy weapon (you
4. Keep your pet monster in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which you could not accidentally stumble.
5. Dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw your manager into confusion.
6. Shave off your goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
7. Make sure your main computers have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
8. Hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine your cubicle and inform you of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that you might not know about.
9. Don't install a sentient computer smarter than you are.
10. No matter how many shorts you have in the system, treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
11. If all your co-workers are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt you, pull out a conventional weapon instead of using your unstoppable superweapon on them.
12. Do not shoot at any of your co-workers if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
13. Make sure that your doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
14. Cover your vats of hazardous materials when not in use. Also, do not construct walkways over them.
15. Do not design your Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
16. If you ever talk to HR on the phone, do not taunt them. Instead say that their dogged perseverance has given you new insight on the futility of your evil ways and that if they leave you alone for a few months of quiet contemplation you will likely return to the path of righteousness. (HR is incredibly gullible in this regard.)
17. Design your door mechanisms so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
18. Pad any data file of crucial importance to 1.45MB.
Any sufficiently well-organized community is indistinguishable from Government.
Get yourself a poster of Doris Day or Racquel Welch so that the warden doesn't see the hole that you are digging.
That's no cubicle. That's a friggin mansion.
Our VP's are in 10x10. Mine's more like 7x9.
Don't gripe to us because you're in the lap of luxury and can't figure out how to use it.
You never really know how close to the edge you can go until you fall off.
Whuhu. These cant be killed by any normal human.
All Troll + "offtopic" mods are meta moderated as "Unfair", because you abused the system.
And if you're a really dedicated worker, pick up a suspended sleeping bag (just like the ones astronauts use) to cut down on your commute from work. Make sure it's waterproof, so it can double as a curtain for a collapsable shower. And remove the fan off your CPU to turn it into an instant heating element (excellent for boiling water).
Oh, and a bunch of people suggested getting a fridge and filling it with beer. You could suspend it from the ceiling on a retractable steel cable.
I hope this helps.
Have you ever seen the movie Office Space? Got a cordless screwdriver?
Anyways, what I usually do is to clean my desk once a month. Anything I haven't touched in the last month I put in somebody elses inbox.
I had the same problem a while back, and then I realized that there were only two viable solutions: I could either get a better job or create an interdimensional gateway to a small pocket dimension for storage purposes. I created the gateway, but my company had an explicit "no portals to other dimensions" clause in my employment agreement, and I lost my job. Believe me, that was tough to explain away on my resume.
Got Rhinos?