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The Destructobot For The Man With Everything

bewert writes: "Heavy duty metal-ripping hardware is going up for auction on E-Bay next week. The "Son of Wyachi", winner of the Heavyweight Championship on Comedy Central's BattleBots, will be auctioned on E-Bay. The inventor, Terry Ewert, practiced on old washing machines while developing S-W's triple rotating metal meat grinder apparatus. With a 12 hp. electic motor driving three hardened tool steel meat tenderizer points spinning at 71 mph, Son of Wyachi quickly renders most objects into smoking ruins. A must have for your next Halloween bash!" Auction aside, this is a scary robot. Do not use near kids, pets, or anything you like intact.

7 of 180 comments (clear)

  1. As a frenchman I'm furious! by qwerty123 · · Score: 4, Funny

    As a proud frenchman I insist that you rude Americans remove your silly "battlebots" from our ebay. This is clearly a weapon of malicious intent that represses innocent robots and gives robots around the world a bad name!

  2. MUAHAhaha by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    I send it to do battle with the evil Hilary Rosenbot of the RIAA! She doesn't stand a chance!

    GAME ON.

  3. Re:what? by astafas · · Score: 2, Funny

    That is how many men per hour it can take out :)

  4. dammit by jbarnett · · Score: 5, Funny

    The inventor, Terry Ewert, practiced on old washing machines while developing S-W's triple rotating metal meat grinder apparatus.

    Just because it was an Old washing machine, does 1) make it his to destory 2) mean that it doesn't funcation correctly.

    Grrr, you know how hard it is to get a date when you clothes smell funky?

    and while we are on the subject, what about the $250 for his half of the security deposit and where the hell is my dog?

    He better sell that dam machine, he owns me a ton of cash that deadbeat roommate from hell.

    Grrr

    --

    "`Ford, you're turning into a penguin. Stop it.'" -THHGTTG
  5. Am I the only one thinking HOME SECURITY? by VT_hawkeye · · Score: 2, Funny

    Of course, you couldn't use it if you had pets or kids, but just imagine... give the thing infrared sensors to find heat sources, radar to keep it from running into cold objects, all the necessary AI to control movement, and an RF on/off switch similar to the keyring unlock switches that come with most new cars now, and you've got the home security system from hell.

    Just imagine the look on your unfriendly neighborhood criminal's face when he breaks into your house or apartment, only to be pursued by a vicious-as-hell robot. The only problem you'd ever have would be explaining to the cops what had happened to the perp after you got home and found the mauled body on your carpet (perhaps the AI would be able to figure out when it "scored" and back off so as to avoid killing the guy?). Actually, cleaning the blood out of the carpet and off the walls would be a bit of a pain, too.

    Now if I could just figure out a way to keep it from attacking my Athlon, I'd be set. ;-)

  6. Consider the PR potential by Fear+the+Clam · · Score: 4, Funny

    Lend me this baby and two minutes at the local BMW dealer and I'll personally increase the viewing audience of BattleBots by an order of magnitude. Guaranteed.

  7. but a *distributed* petbot . . . by hawk · · Score: 3, Funny
    Just think of how many of those you can fit in under the weight limit. Tie them together with a redundant mesh. Surround your opponent. dance under his feet. Call it,


    "Revenge of the Lilliputians"!


    hawk