Hackers: Uncle Sam Wants You!

scraemondaemon writes: "A new TV public service announcement targets U.S. computer hacktivists with a blunt message: Uncle Sam wants you to help fight the war on terrorism. They demonize you and criminalize you and then ask for your help. What's a hacker to do?"

Comments

In the famous words of...

[The Slashdolt]

"Ask not, what your country can hack for you. Ask what you can hack for your country"
-The Slashdolt

Re:In the famous words of...

[atrowe]

They're not going to recruit anyone with that crap. They need to appeal the the hackers themselves. Something along the lines of "hax0rs, uncle sam wants j00!"

question

[WeaselGod]

Do I get Stock Options?

They ask hackers to help them.

[SpanishInquisition]

But they don't say how.
For all we know maybe they just want to test biological weapons on us.

good lord - this world today

[macsox]

six months ago i would never have imagined vint cerf appearing in an ad during a new buffy on upn telling me not to hack web sites in afghanistan.

funny how things change.

Yes, spam the enemy!

[cruelworld]

After we haxor his boxen and root his servers and change all of their index.html files, then and ONLY then will Omar Bin Laden and his cohorts know they have been owned.

Their server farms and e-commerce terrorist sites that litter the internet cafes of Afghanistan will feel our rath. Our exploits will decimate their ftp sites and not a single router will go unpunished.

Re:I'm in favor of this

[ZaMoose]

...Or suffer from scoliosis and some of the worst eyes in the world, but can code some mean admin scripts!

I can shoot, theoretically, 'cause I've played all the Quake games, and, according to Lieberman and crew, this qualifies me as a triple-A marksman.

Plus, I have extensive anti-terrorist training by way of all the Counterstrike hours I've logged. The gov't could just drop be into de_kabul and let me frag away!

Laughable!

[don_carnage]

Two hacker favorites -- USA Cable's Sci-Fi Channel, and UPN's hit show Buffy the Vampire Slayer -- would be perfect places to air the spot, said Aftab, who is on the advisory committee of the Advertising Council, a nonprofit which helped put together the "Friends Don't Let Friends Drive Drunk" public service campaign.

Wow. I'm in awe here people. They've got them there hackers pegged!

Re:I'm in favor of this

[Rupert]

I think dropping Be on Kabul would be a bad idea. There are no rootkits for BeOS. How would we haXor Al Qeyda then?

better than being drafted...

[smirkleton]

Better step up and be patriotic, Hacker Squints of Slashdot. Better to be serving your country while sitting behind a monitor in an air-conditioned room than be drafted and sent out.

...I can just picture a special 3L1T3 squadron of slashdot users, sent out into the plains of Afghanistan. Everyone wheezing and gasping for breath before they even got out of the copter. Eyes darting around nervously for the nearest coin-operated soda machine selling Mountain Dew (which, if you must know, is probably in Jordan or Israel).

EXT - NAMELESS AFGHAN PLAIN - MORNING.

An Apache helicopter settles onto the barren plain. Out from it emerge three plain males. They wear an assortment of camouflage combined with curious t-shirts, with sayings like "I don't work here" and "will frag for bandwidth".

Geek 1: "(wheeze, wheeze) I thought...(gasp)...All that Quake...(gasp gasp)... Prepared me for this..."

Geek2: "...I haven't... (HACK! HACK!)... moved this much...(cough cough)... since I got off the couch... to get the UPS delivery... of BAWLS..."

JonKatz: "I just...(argh)...had an idea for...a follow-up series....(gasp)...to Voices From The Hellmouth Revisited: Part Ten...(cough gasp cough...)You guys want to... hear... it?"

Geek1: "Give me...that...damn...machine...gun. (cough cough cough)..."

JonKatz: "Alright! (cough gag) Wrong time..." (mutters into dictaphone) "...note to self. Idea...for commentary... Why today's geeks... (cough gasp cough) are unfairly stigmatized... (wheeeeeeze) ...as being insensitive... (HACK!)...to violence..."

Just as Geek1 begins to aim his machine gun at JonKatz, to put an end to his ravings once and for all, a crazed member of the Taliban comes flying over the desert horizon. He is screaming something.

The Geeks all stop and look at him. Terror strikes into their very hearts and souls. The words of their enemy shock them into utter panic.

Crazed Taliban Member: "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! "

Geek1, Geek2, JonKatz: "Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

The three begin to flee in the opposite direction, now heading directly into a minefield.

Crazed Taliban Member: "YOU ARE ON YOUR WAY TO DESTRUCTION! YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME! HA HA HA HA!"

Geek1 stops running, a serene expression coming across his face. He grabs Geek2's shoulder by his t-shirt, quietly, allowing JonKatz to continue to flee further into the minefield.

Geek1 (teary-eyed): "Take off every 'zig'."

Geek2 (smiling): "You know what you're doing?"

Geek1 (nodding through tears): "Move 'zig'."

Geek2 (embracing him): "For great justice."

The two geeks turn to face their adversary, brandishing their weapons with a newfound confidence and sense of purpose. JonKatz vanishes over the horizon, screaming wildly.

CUT TO...

Re:"In the famous words of..." I can see it now

[ackthpt]

"All your Al-Qaeda (the base) are belong to U.S."