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Star Trek: Enterprise Reactions?
So, what did you think of it? The theme song has to go. Commander Tucker ("Kumanduh Tuckah") needs to get a personality other than "he'll be just like McCoy, only clumsy and stupid". Is it really necessary to rehash "cold emotionless Vulcans vs. thoughtless, reckless humans"? That plot device was old thirty years ago and it's physically painful to watch now. How can armor plating go "offline"? Electromagnetic shields maybe, but one of the virtues of a hunk of steel is that it doesn't go "offline". And what's with the soft porn? I was waiting for the bow-chicka-bow-wow music to kick in. CT: I didn't get to see it! I don't get UPN! Curses!
Mr. Eastern Standard Time
Damn him!
First he rigs the election, and now this!
Anything that results in fewer of 'em down here is a plus in my book! And send the the damn telephone sanitizers and hairdressers with them!
Bugrit! Millenium hand and shrimp!
So it's going to be the Confederation now??
In general I agree. But this literally is the same team that brought us umpteen seasons of voyager drivel. Bad science, bad acting, bad plots, good tits (7 of 9). I like tits, sure, but I hoped for much more. Although it was a daring episode - space porn in prime time.
My cat can eat a whole watermelon
Apparently, the Borg aren't the only alien species with implants...
JMR
Speaking only for myself, as always.
Try e-gold - (contact me). I'm NOT e-
And Picard told us that the war with the Klingons was sparked by a botched first contact with them. But that contact didn't seem to be botched.
You don't call being shot in the chest by a xenophobic Okie corn farmer a botched first contact? The only thing they coulda done to make a worst first impression was to put on white hoods and burn a cross in front of his spaceship.
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enterprise:
wooden cock, almost bulging out of underwear
I swear, when that woman was on the radio it really really sounded like she said CmdrTaco.. /. reference?
Enterprise might get better...As for that theme song, shit, Rodenberry must be rolling over in his grave.
It sounded like Michael Bolton mated with John Denver.
Also, I like the sexy characters on Star Trek to be subtle. T'pel almost got drilled in the decontamination chamber. And those nipples...I mean, how long before they just get it over and have her spread her legs on TV?
I mean, I thought it was supposed to be Star Trek, not Forbidden Alien Poon-tang Quest.
Who did what now?
More tits, or more plot?
A well-crafted lie appears unquestionable - Dama Mahaleo
Well, you never know. Maybe the front plating is an advanced form of the explosive armor they use on some tanks and armored vehicles these days; by actually exploding outward, it further reduces the force of an incoming round or warhead directed inward. Maybe going "offline" means it needs to be recharged or reloaded.
Or, maybe this really IS a deflector shield, but not yet advanced enough to be projected out, so it's sort of a surface-effect thing still. Going offline means the same thing as losing shields.
Or, maybe I need to quit doing the work of the writers and expect them to explain their own gaping plot holes.
Soft Porn? I finally have a reason to watch this schlock.
BTW,
Trekies was on Showtime yesterday. I laughed my ass off.
mr.
Yeah, like a bunch of geeks need something ELSE to beat off to.
Now they can get their Trek fix AND spank-o-matic. One stop shopping.
-l
tits wise or plot wise?
You are right and wrong. Her name is T'Pol, but originally it was to be T'Pau. I remember noticing that in the casting call. Perhaps T'Pau was coincidence, and perhaps it was intentional, but at some point they changed it to T'Pol, and there we are.
:)
But perhaps T'Pol and T'Pau "know" each other... surely Vulcan females suffer from the same affliction that Spock did in the original series... and perhaps there's slime involved.
Could be. I know definitely I heard a lot of people trying to get "first contact".
If tits were wings it'd be flying around.
William Shatner?
What if we're both right??? His hand on a big hardon? I've got to check my TiVo again...
If tits were wings it'd be flying around.
Corn doesn't need to fight back. It survives being eaten just fine.
Okay, sorry. Potty humor. Couldn't resist...
__
Do ya feel happy-go-lucky, punk?
> Bad science, bad acting, bad plots, good tits (7 of 9).
It would be more customary to rate them as 7.777 out of 10.
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
Seriously, other than Kevin Smith films, slashdot movie/tv reviews could be replace by a simple fill in the blank.
;) but really) Whoever (wrote/directed/acted/produced) this (movie/show) should be banned from (writing/directing/acting/producing) forever.
"This (movie/show) is one of the worst we have ever seen, in fact, its even wose than the last (movie/show) we reviewed. The acting was (bad/flat/overdone/mediocre). The script was (bad/flat/overdone/mediocre). The only high point was (female leads name)'s (shirt/shorts/skirt/shower scene) but what is something like that doing in this movie. (Not that we minded
Come on guys, get a new script for your reviews, the current one is getting old.
HaveFun!
WhiteRabbit
you start seeing the Intel Blue Guys(TM) in a new Star Trek episode, cleverly disguised as a primitive morphing race.
Listen, I am a male nerd. You are a male nerd. We are all male nerds. We were all just bought out by the grease up the Vulcan girl. Is there something wrong with that ? HELLS NO. I was to see MUCH MORE disinfection. Maybe next time the Asian girl and the Vulcan are the only ones to get infected.
"Osmotic Eel" is a band name waiting to happen.
In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris will still kick your ass.
They really screwed up with the Klingons. Now they're going to have to say the human-like appearance was the first thing to go wrong, and then a second one changed them back. (Why am I making excuses for such a blatant f-ck up?)
I guess since Vulcans aren't emotional, they must always have hard nipples. That, or the shower was pretty cold.
Heh. I can just see Episode 340, Season 14:
Lt. Mandrake: Damn, myself and the 4 female crew members I took over to examine that alien ship somehow managed to become infected with a clothes eating virus!
Hottie Doctor: It's worse than that, sir; my readings indicate that this virus may trigger dangerous amounts of sexual hormone production in the body!
Lt. Mandrake: I see....recommendations Hottie Vulcan Science Chick?
Hottie Vulcan Science Chick: Sir, these scented oils, candles, and sensously-shaped plastic devices might help. Allow me to demonstrate on Ensign Youngbuck here.
Ensign Youngbuck: Whoa! They didn't teach us anything like this at the academy!
*Cue the Beastie Boys - Sabrosa*
If you don't pretend to be anyone, are you?
Sure looked to me that the vulcan decon'd her upper "private areas".
Yeah, after he rescued the Klingon, and was wondering around the base I kept expecting this scene:
"Al, why haven't I leaped yet? Ziggy said I was here to save that Klingon guy, right?"
"Hmm... Ziggy says there's now a 73% chance that you need to set up a nemesis for future episodes first.... Or maybe you're supposed to do that Vulcan chick. It's a little hazy. (Do you see the set on her? Yowza!)"
I was watching at a friend's house, and her parents came home at exactly the same moment they walked into the bar with the pole dancers. Bleh.
$x='S24;r)>63/* h@<5+oZ)32"5cz';$me='phroggy'x$];
$x=~y+ -xz+\0-Tx+;print$_^chop$me for split'',$x;
If you're feeling aargh
Or you're kind of mwhahahahahaha
Could be you've met up with BAKULA.
If your crew goes moan, moan
And your guns go pssewp pssewp
Maybe you've bumped into BAKULA.
He flies through the night
In a costume that's too tight
But there's always a moral insight
BAKULA
-- Ed Avis ed@membled.com
#!/bin/perl
s/Star Trek: Enterprise/Star Wars Episode 1/g;
s/Theme Music/Jar Jar Binks/g;
if ($comments ne $starwarscomments) { $idbesurprised = 1; }
Bakula, doesn't have, the proper spacing between words, or emphasis to be JTK!
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Am I the only one that read this as "...give them a fish..."
Tiller's Rule: Never use a word in written form that you've only heard and never read. You will end up looking foolish.
Count Bakula, if you're nasty.
-- Count Spatula: The Culinary Vampire "...because my cooking sucks."
Shatner would probably disagree. Nichelle Nichols and Jimmy Doohan would probably agree that he would disagree.
Miko O'Sullivan
Redundancy
*Sigh* Now I'll probably get modded down as "redundant"
Enigma
I find it personally and professionally offensive that you would mention Star Trek and Windows in the same sentence.
This sentence pretty much defines the term "geek."
I didn't like how they made the Force a biological, rather than a mystical, power. Oh, wait. Wrong prequel.
I kept imagining that, perhaps, I'd get the great channel meld and somehow "The West Wing" and "Wolf Lake" would be morphed with "Enterprise".
Command Deck of ENTERPRISE
Captain: Has anyone seen Ruby?
Vulcan (eyes glowing): No. (wiggles ears) I think she was written out in an earlier episode.
Engineer: Polls are in. Mammet-speak required.
Teenager runs in
Teeniebooper: I'm SOOOO fed up with you Daddy. (pushes up glasses) you won't let me do ANYTHING. The drug dealer down at the Transporter just wants me So BAD!
Captain, morphs into Donner:
Donner: Go take orders in the crews mess - and stop piddling on the floor while you're at it.
Vulcan morphs into Ruby whose eyes glow as the view of the bridge does funny colored transitions.
RUBY: I'm glad you mentioned that!
RUBY transforms into wolf, piddles on DONNERS feet and flees the room in herky-jerk motions of hyper-color.
ENGINEER: Offers wise Native American saying.
Secret Service appears: Mr President you're standing in dog piddle.
POTIS: Why yes, it was forseen in Revelations (cites chapter/verse in Greek). Now get me some Klingons, I'm gonna do something....
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"The past isn't dead. It's not even past!"
Quentin Compson