Slashdot Mirror
IgNobel Awards
how_would_i_know writes: "I've always suspected there was a coconut conspiracy... now there's proof. :-)" We might as well follow-up on our earlier story with a list of the IgNobel Winners. Stalin World! A study of glee! And of course, a true breakthrough, the solution to the shower curtain mystery.
Ok, I bet he only patented the ROUND wheel.
I'll patent the wheel composed of a high number
of flat sides arranged as a regular polygon.
That'll get him....
...and try this address for winners...
http://www.improb.com/ig/ig-2001-winners.html
Stalin, while relaxing in a tropical amusement park, picking his nose, was struck by a coconut, prompting a brilliant idea! He immediately dragged his car (he couldn't get any wheel's, because they were patented) to his workshop and made a set of airproof underpants. He considered using charcoal filter's to absorb fart's, but because it would have to be changed, he instead leveraged his recent singularity research to create a small, contained black hole.
To test them, knowing that adult's might be too polite to be honest or too dignified to participate, he gathered together a group of children. The test's were held in a shower to handle any accidents that might result from forced farting. It worked brilliantly. The children tried them in turn's, and not an unpleasant whiff escaped.
For a final test, Stalin tried them on himself and stepped into the shower and strained with all his strength. Unfortunately, his mighty blast destabilized the black hole, causing him and the shower curtain to be sucked into it. At first thinking it all part of the fun, the children were overjoyed at the spectacle.
He was awarded an Ig Nobel Prize posthumously, though this is likely no consolation as he is presumed to live in an eternal hell of contained fart's.
(I swear it sounded like a good idea when I started writing...)